July 24, 2025 • 14 mins
In this episode, Michael Anderson explores the science and psychology behind self-worth, revealing why seeking validation from others can undermine your confidence and well-being. You’ll discover ten fresh, actionable strategies to build genuine self-worth from within, including journaling, mirror talk, challenge goals, and more. Michael shares research-backed insights and a powerful quote from Maya Angelou to inspire you to claim your value, independent of outside approval. Tune in to learn how to create a mindset that’s resilient, empowered, and truly your own.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mike v4 (00:00):
Welcome to the show.
Welcome to Your Thought Lifepodcast.
I'm your host, Michael Anderson.
Today we're getting into the 10tips to boost self-worth.
When I was a young technologyperson, I struggled with
self-worth.
(00:20):
Some of it was leftover fromchildhood.
While, there was another sort ofsection of it that was
predicated on me continuallycomparing myself with other
people.
Low self-worth is a very.
Very difficult set ofcircumstances to contend with on
(00:44):
your own.
The sad part of what I'm goingto say is probably over 70% of
people will contend with this ontheir own because it's one of
those situations where it's sodeep, so abiding that you just
don't wanna talk with anybodyabout this.
(01:04):
There's a 2022 study that waspublished in the Journal of
Personality and it found thatpeople who rely on external
validation for their self-worthare 40% more likely to
experience chronic stress andanxiety.
I'm raising my hand.
You can't see me.
I know that stat to beabsolutely accurate'cause I was
(01:28):
right.
In the heart of that, and that'sa huge number, and it really
highlights how much ourwellbeing depends on where we
source our sense of value withinor from without.
And if you're always looking forapproval from others, you're
(01:52):
handing over the keys.
To your happiness, to that groupof people.
So today we're going to talkabout how to close the gap, get
back those keys, and boost ourself-worth.
I want to do a definition.
I don't generally do this, but Iwant to do it today, but
(02:14):
self-worth is the foundation ofa healthy mindset.
According to self-determinationtheory, humans have an innate
need for autonomy, competence,and relatedness.
When you build your self-worthinternally, you meeting those
(02:35):
needs in a way that'ssustainable and empowering.
Science shows us.
Very clearly that people withhigh self-worth are far more
resilient, have betterrelationships, and are much more
likely to achieve their goalsthan those on the opposite end
of the spectrum.
As Carlos Rogers, the father ofhumanistic psychology said the
(03:01):
curiosity paradox when I acceptmyself just as I am, then and
only then can I change.
We need some changes today,family.
We need some deep abidingchanges that switch this dynamic
from an external locus ofcontrol to an internal.
(03:25):
Locus of control.
External validation isunpredictable.
Internal validation is theopposite.
Very predictable.
One day you're on the top of theworld because somebody is giving
you a great comment.
No one is able to do that daytwo, three, or four, and guess
what?
You don't feel the same.
(03:47):
This is what happens when yourvalidation is predicated on
external.
But when you've got this goingon from an internal standpoint,
oh my goodness, you haveliterally the keys to
self-worth.
You can turn that engine on anytime you desire, and it has no
(04:11):
need for any entity outside ofyou, and this effectively takes
you off the rollercoaster ridethat your emotions will take you
on when you don't get that fixfrom this external person.
Sure, fine.
(04:34):
I'll just do it myself, and thisagain, is a sustainable model.
The real power comes frombuilding a sense of value from
within and not from without.
We do not need the opinions ofothers if we'll make the
decision to change today.
(04:56):
Again, the locus of control frombeing externally sourced to
internally sourced.
Now we always endeavor toprovide for you tools that are
known good, that will help youimmediately after you have
completed listening to thepodcast.
(05:16):
I want to provide for you 10tips to boost your self-worth.
Here they are.
Number one, create a self-worthjournal where you write down
moments when you acted inalignment with your new found
values.
Internal locus of control,regardless of the outcome or
(05:37):
anyone else's reaction.
This helps you to see your owngrowth and integrity over time.
Because you now have a record, aready record.
Number two, practice mirrortalk.
What's that?
It's you looking at yourself inthe eye each morning in stating
(05:59):
one thing you appreciate aboutyour character, your work ethic,
or your effort.
This simple act rewires yourbrain to recognize your own
value.
It aids in that process ofletting go or letting loose of
(06:20):
external validation and beingable to provide that validation
for yourself.
Number three, set a weeklychallenge goal that stretches
you a little bit outside of yourcomfort zone.
Not so much that it makes youtotally uncomfortable, but
enough where you're able to keepthe focus on the process and not
(06:45):
the result.
Little bit by little bit we are.
Relearning how to do life in away that does not allow us or
permit us to be dependent onthat external validation.
Once you began doing this, Iwant you to celebrate the
(07:06):
courage that it took for you totry this.
Doesn't matter if it didn'twork, celebrate the fact that
you took this micro step to moveforward.
Number four.
Limit your exposure to socialmedia for a set period of the
day and use the additional timethat you're able to harvest back
(07:29):
to engage in activities thatbring you joy and peace, like
reading and walking.
Or maybe you've got some albumsthat you enjoy.
Bottom line is.
If you're not online looking atall the lies that people are
telling about themselves, thenyou can take away some of that
(07:53):
negative energy and provide itinto a constructive space to
create a dynamic that works foryou.
Five, develop a personal mantrathat enforces your worthy, such
as I am enough as I am.
I am enough as I am, or my valueis not up for debate and repeat
(08:19):
it.
Whenever you notice, self-doubtattempting to creep in
self-doubt is going to deter youfrom moving forward with your
goal if it gets loud enough inyour inner ear.
Number six, seek out learningexperiences that have nothing to
(08:40):
do with achievement orrecognition.
Take a class, try a new hobby.
Do something with a friend.
Explore a topic just because itinterests you.
When we're able to take ourattention away from those things
that have achievement andrecognition tied to'em, we're
(09:02):
able to just really embraceourselves in the moment and to
the fact is that you can embraceyourself in the moment, then you
can begin to change how youinteract.
With yourself.
All of these are small babysteps that collectively lead to
(09:22):
you breaking free of the needfor others to approve you.
Number seven, practicegratitude.
Practice gratitude.
Like all of the time.
Practice gratitude for your ownefforts, for your qualities, for
your gifts, for your talents atthe beginning of each day.
(09:43):
At the end of each day.
Have gratitude.
If you can work in a midday,have gratitude, and then write
down three things.
That you did well at the end ofthe day, it could be traits or
characteristics or things thatyou did in micro steps tied to
this particular act that wentwell and then began to really
(10:08):
develop an appreciation for thework that you are doing for you
inside of you.
Number eight, surround yourselfwith people who respect your
boundaries and encourage yourgrowth.
But remember, we don't needtheir approval, right?
(10:29):
We are just doing life withlike-minded people.
We are not seeking.
Approval.
Number nine, reflect on pastchallenges where you've overcome
and you've exhibited strength ina different way.
(10:49):
Remember yourself.
Remind yourself that you'reresilient and resourceful.
Remind yourself that you havewhat it takes, and this serves
as proof.
That in fact, you do notliterally lead anyone external
(11:10):
to you to supercharge yourfaith, your confidence in your
self-worth.
You have everything that youneed already to do that on your
own, and then finally, giveyourself permission.
To rest and to recharge and todo things that are fun and to do
(11:33):
things that you enjoy.
It's so important that we havemental health top of mind.
We move at such a pace today andhave so many competing
priorities that it justliterally can wear us out when
we have these times of refresh.
(11:54):
Where we are recharging, wherewe're resting and doing
something we enjoy.
We are in fact recharging ourbatteries, getting vitality back
into us.
That's incredibly important.
And your value isn't tied toproductivity or to constant
(12:16):
achievement.
You just need to know that.
So settling down for a while todo something fun is a plus.
There's science behind this.
Of course, there is.
Research from the University ofMichigan found that
self-affirming practices likethe ones we've just discussed,
(12:37):
can actually reduce stress andimprove problem solving
abilities.
At the same time, boosting ourself-worth.
When you affirm with your ownwords, your brain responds by
lowering the cortisol levels andboosting feelings of security
(12:59):
and fulfillment.
This isn't just.
Feel good advice.
Family.
It's backed by science, so takea look at a few of these, see
which ones fit you best, andincorporate them as soon as you
can to begin the transformationthat you desire.
(13:22):
As Maya Angelou said, you aloneare enough.
You have nothing to prove toanyone.
That's the mindset we're aimingfor.
And thank you so much forjoining me today for this
episode.
Do consider leaving us a ratingor a review helps the channel to
grow and to reach more peopleseeking this style of content.
(13:44):
Feel free to connect with usthrough Link Tree.
The link is available in theshow notes.
You are enough.
You can do it.
You are uniquely equipped torealize your goals.
Until next time, take care andkeep boosting self-worth.
Welcome to the show.
Welcome to Your Thought Lifepodcast.
I'm your host, Michael Anderson.
Today we're getting into the 10tips to boost self-worth.
When I was a young technologyperson, I struggled with
self-worth.
(00:20):
Some of it was leftover fromchildhood.
While, there was another sort ofsection of it that was
predicated on me continuallycomparing myself with other
people.
Low self-worth is a very.
Very difficult set ofcircumstances to contend with on
(00:44):
your own.
The sad part of what I'm goingto say is probably over 70% of
people will contend with this ontheir own because it's one of
those situations where it's sodeep, so abiding that you just
don't wanna talk with anybodyabout this.
(01:04):
There's a 2022 study that waspublished in the Journal of
Personality and it found thatpeople who rely on external
validation for their self-worthare 40% more likely to
experience chronic stress andanxiety.
I'm raising my hand.
You can't see me.
I know that stat to beabsolutely accurate'cause I was
(01:28):
right.
In the heart of that, and that'sa huge number, and it really
highlights how much ourwellbeing depends on where we
source our sense of value withinor from without.
And if you're always looking forapproval from others, you're
(01:52):
handing over the keys.
To your happiness, to that groupof people.
So today we're going to talkabout how to close the gap, get
back those keys, and boost ourself-worth.
I want to do a definition.
I don't generally do this, but Iwant to do it today, but
(02:14):
self-worth is the foundation ofa healthy mindset.
According to self-determinationtheory, humans have an innate
need for autonomy, competence,and relatedness.
When you build your self-worthinternally, you meeting those
(02:35):
needs in a way that'ssustainable and empowering.
Science shows us.
Very clearly that people withhigh self-worth are far more
resilient, have betterrelationships, and are much more
likely to achieve their goalsthan those on the opposite end
of the spectrum.
As Carlos Rogers, the father ofhumanistic psychology said the
(03:01):
curiosity paradox when I acceptmyself just as I am, then and
only then can I change.
We need some changes today,family.
We need some deep abidingchanges that switch this dynamic
from an external locus ofcontrol to an internal.
(03:25):
Locus of control.
External validation isunpredictable.
Internal validation is theopposite.
Very predictable.
One day you're on the top of theworld because somebody is giving
you a great comment.
No one is able to do that daytwo, three, or four, and guess
what?
You don't feel the same.
(03:47):
This is what happens when yourvalidation is predicated on
external.
But when you've got this goingon from an internal standpoint,
oh my goodness, you haveliterally the keys to
self-worth.
You can turn that engine on anytime you desire, and it has no
(04:11):
need for any entity outside ofyou, and this effectively takes
you off the rollercoaster ridethat your emotions will take you
on when you don't get that fixfrom this external person.
Sure, fine.
(04:34):
I'll just do it myself, and thisagain, is a sustainable model.
The real power comes frombuilding a sense of value from
within and not from without.
We do not need the opinions ofothers if we'll make the
decision to change today.
(04:56):
Again, the locus of control frombeing externally sourced to
internally sourced.
Now we always endeavor toprovide for you tools that are
known good, that will help youimmediately after you have
completed listening to thepodcast.
(05:16):
I want to provide for you 10tips to boost your self-worth.
Here they are.
Number one, create a self-worthjournal where you write down
moments when you acted inalignment with your new found
values.
Internal locus of control,regardless of the outcome or
(05:37):
anyone else's reaction.
This helps you to see your owngrowth and integrity over time.
Because you now have a record, aready record.
Number two, practice mirrortalk.
What's that?
It's you looking at yourself inthe eye each morning in stating
(05:59):
one thing you appreciate aboutyour character, your work ethic,
or your effort.
This simple act rewires yourbrain to recognize your own
value.
It aids in that process ofletting go or letting loose of
(06:20):
external validation and beingable to provide that validation
for yourself.
Number three, set a weeklychallenge goal that stretches
you a little bit outside of yourcomfort zone.
Not so much that it makes youtotally uncomfortable, but
enough where you're able to keepthe focus on the process and not
(06:45):
the result.
Little bit by little bit we are.
Relearning how to do life in away that does not allow us or
permit us to be dependent onthat external validation.
Once you began doing this, Iwant you to celebrate the
(07:06):
courage that it took for you totry this.
Doesn't matter if it didn'twork, celebrate the fact that
you took this micro step to moveforward.
Number four.
Limit your exposure to socialmedia for a set period of the
day and use the additional timethat you're able to harvest back
(07:29):
to engage in activities thatbring you joy and peace, like
reading and walking.
Or maybe you've got some albumsthat you enjoy.
Bottom line is.
If you're not online looking atall the lies that people are
telling about themselves, thenyou can take away some of that
(07:53):
negative energy and provide itinto a constructive space to
create a dynamic that works foryou.
Five, develop a personal mantrathat enforces your worthy, such
as I am enough as I am.
I am enough as I am, or my valueis not up for debate and repeat
(08:19):
it.
Whenever you notice, self-doubtattempting to creep in
self-doubt is going to deter youfrom moving forward with your
goal if it gets loud enough inyour inner ear.
Number six, seek out learningexperiences that have nothing to
(08:40):
do with achievement orrecognition.
Take a class, try a new hobby.
Do something with a friend.
Explore a topic just because itinterests you.
When we're able to take ourattention away from those things
that have achievement andrecognition tied to'em, we're
(09:02):
able to just really embraceourselves in the moment and to
the fact is that you can embraceyourself in the moment, then you
can begin to change how youinteract.
With yourself.
All of these are small babysteps that collectively lead to
(09:22):
you breaking free of the needfor others to approve you.
Number seven, practicegratitude.
Practice gratitude.
Like all of the time.
Practice gratitude for your ownefforts, for your qualities, for
your gifts, for your talents atthe beginning of each day.
(09:43):
At the end of each day.
Have gratitude.
If you can work in a midday,have gratitude, and then write
down three things.
That you did well at the end ofthe day, it could be traits or
characteristics or things thatyou did in micro steps tied to
this particular act that wentwell and then began to really
(10:08):
develop an appreciation for thework that you are doing for you
inside of you.
Number eight, surround yourselfwith people who respect your
boundaries and encourage yourgrowth.
But remember, we don't needtheir approval, right?
(10:29):
We are just doing life withlike-minded people.
We are not seeking.
Approval.
Number nine, reflect on pastchallenges where you've overcome
and you've exhibited strength ina different way.
(10:49):
Remember yourself.
Remind yourself that you'reresilient and resourceful.
Remind yourself that you havewhat it takes, and this serves
as proof.
That in fact, you do notliterally lead anyone external
(11:10):
to you to supercharge yourfaith, your confidence in your
self-worth.
You have everything that youneed already to do that on your
own, and then finally, giveyourself permission.
To rest and to recharge and todo things that are fun and to do
(11:33):
things that you enjoy.
It's so important that we havemental health top of mind.
We move at such a pace today andhave so many competing
priorities that it justliterally can wear us out when
we have these times of refresh.
(11:54):
Where we are recharging, wherewe're resting and doing
something we enjoy.
We are in fact recharging ourbatteries, getting vitality back
into us.
That's incredibly important.
And your value isn't tied toproductivity or to constant
(12:16):
achievement.
You just need to know that.
So settling down for a while todo something fun is a plus.
There's science behind this.
Of course, there is.
Research from the University ofMichigan found that
self-affirming practices likethe ones we've just discussed,
(12:37):
can actually reduce stress andimprove problem solving
abilities.
At the same time, boosting ourself-worth.
When you affirm with your ownwords, your brain responds by
lowering the cortisol levels andboosting feelings of security
(12:59):
and fulfillment.
This isn't just.
Feel good advice.
Family.
It's backed by science, so takea look at a few of these, see
which ones fit you best, andincorporate them as soon as you
can to begin the transformationthat you desire.
(13:22):
As Maya Angelou said, you aloneare enough.
You have nothing to prove toanyone.
That's the mindset we're aimingfor.
And thank you so much forjoining me today for this
episode.
Do consider leaving us a ratingor a review helps the channel to
grow and to reach more peopleseeking this style of content.
(13:44):
Feel free to connect with usthrough Link Tree.
The link is available in theshow notes.
You are enough.
You can do it.
You are uniquely equipped torealize your goals.
Until next time, take care andkeep boosting self-worth.
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