April 16, 2025 • 36 mins
What if your most powerful leadership tool isn't something you need to acquire, but something you already possess? In this illuminating conversation with Tina Parker, founder of Lead Outside the Lines, we explore the transformative concept of authentic power – a leadership approach rooted not in external validation but in your own inner wisdom.
Tina shares how authentic power creates a profound energetic shift, allowing you to feel pulled toward your purpose rather than pushing against resistance. This magnetic quality not only makes leadership more sustainable but attracts exactly the right people and opportunities to support your vision. Drawing from her 23-year Air Force career and personal journey through life-threatening illness, Tina reveals how disconnection from our authentic selves can manifest in serious consequences, while alignment creates unprecedented possibilities.
We dive deep into recognizing the physical sensations of authenticity – that grounding, calming presence that emerges when you're truly connected to your purpose. The conversation challenges conventional wisdom about confidence and courage, revealing that it's those small, brave steps forward that change your landscape and create clarity, not the other way around.
For leaders feeling exhausted by constant external demands and validation-seeking, this episode offers a refreshing alternative. Tina's practical wisdom about creating spaces where everyone can rise together by bringing their unique gifts provides actionable insights for immediate implementation. Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or simply seeking greater fulfillment, this conversation illuminates how authentic power might be the missing ingredient in your leadership journey.
Ready to trust your inner wisdom and take that first courageous step toward authentic leadership? Listen now and discover how your thoughts truly shape your reality.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways of postdeployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
We are back with Tina Parker.
I believe, tina, you are theguest who has been on the show
the most since the beginning.
I'm the lucky one.
We're the lucky ones.
What are you talking about?
Thank you, so happy to have youback on.
So a little bit of informationon Tina, my dearest friend.
(01:08):
So Tina is the founder of Lead.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Outside the.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Lines, which is dedicated to transforming
leadership through authenticityand neuroscience, which is
awesome.
A retired Air Force lieutenantcolonel, bringing decades of
military leadership experience,of course, to her work.
She's a former C-levelexecutive with firsthand
knowledge of leadershipchallenges in high stakes
environments and a master'sdegree in leadership, coupled
(01:31):
with I don't know certificationsin neuroencoding and brain
health.
And, of course, she is apassionate mentor, speaker and
guides leaders to embrace theirtrue selves with greater impact,
which we are so lucky to have.
You Thank you so much for beingon the show, and why don't you
tell us a little bit more aboutyourself that we haven't talked
about already?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Okay, I don't know if it's going to be something I
haven't ever said because I'm onthe show so much, but I mean
just a quick background.
Yes, 23 years in the Air Force,had an amazing, amazing career
with a lot of greatopportunities in leadership,
followership, creating newthings in an environment where
creating new things wasn'talways the easiest thing to do.
(02:11):
But the thing that stood outmost to me, though, in that
career as well as the coachingcareer that I have now starting,
lead Outside the Lines is justhow powerful people are when we
tap into our genius gifts andbring forth what is uniquely
ours to the table.
So that's that was somethingthat was a thread throughout my
(02:32):
whole career is when we createdspace for people to come as you
are and bring your gifts andyour ideas to the table.
Let's see what becomes possible.
You never knew what was goingto come out of it, but it was
always better than what wouldhave come out without that.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I love that.
I absolutely love that andthank you.
So you know, today we're goingto talk about authentic leading
with authentic power.
I could say that word leadingwith authentic power.
See what happens when I readDon't do that, just talk I know
right, I I will get through onequestion.
(03:09):
That'll just be normal talk, soit's all good.
Organic conversation is alwaysthe best.
So you know, before we we divein deep, I just want to remind
everybody, on the top right handcorner of your screen there's a
blue qr code.
It takes you to empowerperformance strategiescom again
for people listening later onthe podcast forums
empowerperformingstrategiescom,there are free eBooks to look at
(03:31):
and download.
There are veterans groups forveterans and their families to
go and be part of.
There are all kinds ofresources and that kind of stuff
.
So be part of the community, bepart of the mission.
Please Check that out.
So, with that said, shall weget started?
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Let's get started.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And by the way to start.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I just want to say what a wonderful mission you are
creating and a community thatyou're creating for support and
value creation.
It's just, it's wonderful.
So thank you, michael, foreverything you're doing.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Thank you, and thank you for being part of it,
obviously.
So, many times.
Let's see how many times we getTina Parker in in one calendar
year.
There's a challenge.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I'd like people to keep wanting to listen, so you
might want to bring some varietyin.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I have news for you, tina.
You're a fan babe.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I promise you that Thank you?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Absolutely no, thank you, absolutely no, thank you.
So let's start off with whatdoes it mean to lead with
authentic power, and how does itdiffer from traditional
leadership roles?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, such a good question, so I think a lot of
people can probably attest to.
Right now there's a lot ofchange in the world, right?
Things are changing at a speedand a rate faster than most of
us even feel like we can keep upwith or feel equipped to keep
up with, and so leading withauthentic power really means
(04:57):
stepping into who you are andhow you are in the world and
connecting to your own innerwisdom.
So much of the time we arelooking for answers outside of
ourselves, when the reality is,the answers we need are in here.
And when we're constantlylooking outside of ourselves for
validation.
(05:18):
For is this right?
Am I on the right path?
You know, with everythinghappening in the world and the
chaos, you're always going tofeel like you're in swirl,
you're in confusion, you're inswirl and a lot of times it's a
downward spiral swirl and we'relike I just want to pick myself
up.
It's not about outside.
It's going inward and reallytrusting the lived experience,
(05:40):
that you have, your intuition,everything that you bring to the
table, that you have yourintuition, everything that you
bring to the table.
So that is really what it meansto be an authentic power,
because when you do that, youcreate space for other people to
do the same.
So authentic power is not aboutpower grabbing and it's all
mine right.
This is not what power means.
When it's, authentic, powermeans standing in your space and
(06:03):
allowing others to do the sameand everyone rises together.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I absolutely love that.
Literally just got goosebumps.
Who is it?
Michelle O'Dett Green.
She calls them God bumps.
I'm stealing it.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yes, I love them.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
She's fantastic.
So it's really inner strength,right.
It's really just tapping intoyour inner strength and just
letting the world see that, andso that can be scary.
I know we're already off thequestion.
No, we're not.
This is exactly it, becauseyou're right.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It is scary.
People hide we.
I'm going to say we, becausewe're all on this journey, right
?
None of us you, me, nobody elseis standing on the top of the
mountain going.
It's so nice up here.
I hope you make it up here oneday.
I mean, we're all.
We're all on our journey atsome level, right?
And so it is scary, like evenjust even being on this podcast
(06:58):
with you.
It's scary.
It's better, cause we'refriends and we can just talk
about things, right, but puttingour own, putting our genius
gifts out into the world andgoing I don't know where it's
going to resonate, but it's truefor me.
So hopefully it resonates withsomebody.
You know that's scary.
Being seen for who we truly are.
That opens our psyche up tofear of judgment.
(07:23):
Right, has we hesitate?
We're like, oh, are they goingto judge me?
It's ridicule, fear of ridicule.
We doubt ourselves, and so allof those things which are part
of what we do with neuroencodingis to help people overcome
those or at least live with them, right?
They never go away, but movewith them, move.
It's not even moving throughand leaving them behind.
(07:44):
It's like, hey, you get to come.
The doubt and fear is going tobe there, but I'm still going to
show up and I'm still going tobe me and I'm still going to
share my truth and we'll seewhere the chips fall.
That is vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, I love that when you say that, because
everybody has that fear, right,and, as Joseph McLennan's, what
people fear less.
And it's about snappingyourself out of it and just
taking that step forward inanything in life.
Right, because that's how youget results.
As soon as you shrink back,you're not going to get results
and then guess what?
You're going to get resentmentfor yourself, you're going to
(08:18):
beat yourself up even more andall those other things.
So, I love, I really love thatyou said that.
So how would you say steppingforward, you know into your
authentic self?
How do you know?
I know the answer.
We've talked about this, butshare with the audience.
How do you know when you feellike you're in integrity and
your authentic self is steppingforward or you're even just
(08:39):
feeling your authentic selfcompared to you know it not
being authentic?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Absolutely.
I mean, the reality is, youknow, when you are honest with
yourself and you stop thechatter in your mind of, well, I
should do this and I'm supposedto do this, and oh, this is the
way I'm supposed to show up, no, when we quiet that and really
go inward and get connected towho we really are, what we want,
(09:06):
what we like, what we don'tlike, really starting to
recognize conditioning right,we've talked about this.
Like everyone has conditioningand imprints from other people
in our lives, from growing up,in our families, in our cultures
, in our communities.
Those of us who are military,we have military imprinting and
conditioning on us, like youhave to be in this box, and so
(09:31):
for a lot of us, it is sheddingthat conditioning and really
sitting with ourselves and goingwho am I?
What do I want?
What are the genius gifts thatare uniquely mine that I get to
bring into the world and makethe world a better place, right?
And it's when you're connectedto that that you can feel it in
(09:52):
your body.
It's like your body kind ofopens up and you go and you
relax into it instead of, okay,I'm going to show up this way
and I'm going to do these thingsand you know you're posturing.
We feel the posturing right.
It feels restrictive, but whenwe're in our body and we're
truly connected to our authenticpower, it feels very grounding,
(10:12):
calming, even if there's fearthere to step forward and like
speak in public or anything likethat.
You still have this innergrounding and that is where your
power resonates from within you.
It's not something you createaround you and grab Like.
It's not a taking.
It's a creation and an eminenceand an emerging from within,
(10:35):
and that is what is authenticabout it.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, I love that, and let's talk a little bit, if
you will.
When you are in your authenticself, it is calming and you feel
it.
It also creates an energy.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
It does.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
In a good way.
You know, not the overwhelm,anxiety and all those other
stuff Like I said, it's calmingbut the energy that builds.
You know whether you're sittingthere questioning yourself and
starting a podcast and then yourealize, okay, you have 300,000
downloads or whatever.
At this point You're top 10% inthe world and you know.
You get that.
Hey, okay, you're right, you'redoing good stuff, creating that
(11:19):
effect.
But really it's not about that.
I don't care about the money, Idon't care about any of those
things that were going out andhelping people and helping
people so they don't live.
The same story my dad lived andso many other veterans have
lived.
So really, when you get thatenergy and you want to keep
(11:39):
playing with it, I don't call itwork.
I'm sorry, I can't.
It's not work Playing with it.
Talk about leading withauthenticity when you feel that
and you're really just inyourself, if you will, and
moving forward frequencies andthings like that.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Authenticity is the highest level of energy,
energetic frequency, and so it,and being in your authentic
energy, you feel it Like we'retalking about radiating out from
(12:14):
yourself.
You also feel this pull forwardinstead of a pushing against
something.
Right, and sometimes it's hardto put words around that, but we
know in our, in our core, likewhen we feel like we're pushing
against something or we feellike, oh, I'm just being
naturally pulled in thisdirection because it is aligned
with who I am and how I am inthe world and I love that you
brought up to your dad's story.
(12:36):
We all have our livedexperiences and there are lived
experiences that some of us feellike we want to champion in the
world and help others get to.
And then there are some livedexperiences where we want to
help others kind of stop thattrack right, stop that cycle
before it goes somewhere thatwe've seen and we've experienced
(12:57):
and we can go.
I don't think you want toexperience that Can.
I help you Right, and so what Ireally love about you and your
work and this podcast and thiscommunity is it really is born
from a desire that you have toutilize your lived experience to
help others in their own livedexperience, and when that leads
(13:21):
to, as it has, a top 10% podcastwith 300,000 downloads, that is
a natural result of somethingreally authentic and good that
people want to be a part ofright and it's just.
It is a very different result.
It's still a great, it's aresult, but if you got that
result doing something that youdidn't feel in alignment with
(13:44):
that you felt like had to be apush every day to get there,
it's short-lived, it's notfulfilling, and that is the road
to burnout.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, I love that.
You said that by the way I'llsend you a check after this
episode.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Just keep getting it out in the world, man.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Absolutely, you know, and for you as well.
Right.
So you know, with Lead Outsidethe Lines, you saw the need, you
saw what the world needs andit's authentic women, right
Powerhouses, moving forward intheir true, authentic selves.
And it's absolutely there's thego again, God bumps, it is you
(14:27):
know.
You know I get them wheneversomething really hits me as
important and what you're doingis so important, and I know
you've switched who you kind ofwork with at some point.
I may still wear a wig one dayto get into one of your programs
.
I know, you're always like, canI come?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I love it, it's so good.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
The funny thing is I don't edit this.
I can't take that out.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
So if you show up in a wig one day, I'm like Michael,
we know it's you Like.
Thanks for calling.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
That would be actually kind of funny.
Then you kick me out.
No, so it's, it's so fantastic.
You know kind of what you do.
So talk to me a little bit inour audience, because we don't
really talk about specificallywhat you do.
A lot we talk about, you know,helping veterans.
So let's switch this a littlebit.
Of course, veterans are alwaysin their families, are always
(15:27):
part of this, but what is itthat you're really doing with?
You know specifically authenticwomen and bringing those
powerhouses to their light, ifyou will.
So they know.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I love how you put it that way, because it really is
about bringing them to their ownlighthouse, like they are their
lighthouse, and so much of thetime we just get disconnected
from that because of the waythat we feel like we're supposed
to show up right, to be seen asprofessional, to be seen as a
(16:03):
leader, to be seen at takenseriously, like.
But what I have come tounderstand in in my my life
really is the times that I feltlike I had to show up a way that
was not authentic to me or Ihad to consistently make
concessions or hide parts ofmyself.
(16:23):
That is when things went southand I mean south to the point
where some people have heardthis and I'll keep it short.
But there was a point in mylife where on the outside,
everything looked really great,I had a great job, life, or on
the outside, everything lookedreally great.
I had a great job, I wasserving in the reserve with an
amazing team, I was married, Ihad a wonderful position.
(16:44):
I just loved my life on theoutside right, because all the
boxes were checked, but I wasn'tfully being true to who I am
and how I am in the world and Iwas hiding parts of myself, and
it led to me going through aperiod of time where I lost my
son to stillbirth, my body wasshutting down.
Then I got pregnant right away,which your body's like Whoa,
(17:06):
what is happening here, right?
So a lot of things happen there, whoa.
Thankfully, my daughter wasborn.
She's amazing.
But six months later I wasdiagnosed with cancer and so I
have a six month old at hometrying to care for her and have
a job and helping my nowex-husband.
There's the other part of thestory Build his business, right,
(17:27):
and like where am I?
Where did I go, except layingin a hospital bed hoping that
this tumor that they found, theywere going to be able to take
care of it, and thankfully theydid, because they said they're
like look, if we didn't findthis, if you didn't come in
which I almost didn't I almostdid not go in for the screening.
I was too busy, I got too muchgoing on to go into a screening.
(17:49):
What so?
Yeah, you know what I'm talkingabout, but honestly, I I'm
going to, I'm going to bestraight up with you guys here.
The doctor told me he said, ifwe did not find this which we
don't normally find these untilit's too late, because of the
type it is and where it was he'slike.
If we didn't find this, youwould be dead in five to 10
(18:11):
years.
Wow Gone, and that was 13 yearsago.
How things would be differenthow things would be different
Exactly.
So it really struck me that thebigger purpose for me in this
world it took me a while to getto, to be able to do it Right,
(18:32):
but I I said, look in 2021, Iwas like that's it.
But I said, look in 2021, I waslike that's it.
I have to build this.
I'm feeling called that polethat we talk about, right, to
build lead outside the lines.
And I know it's lead outsidethe lines because it's about
doing it different.
It's about doing it inauthentic alignment with who we
are and how we are in the world,and you know what it would look
(18:54):
like exactly, right?
I think that's the thing withall.
Entrepreneurs and businessowners are like I got this
vision.
I have no idea how to get there.
That's where a lot of peoplestop, right, so we go.
I don't know the how, so I'mjust not gonna take the steps.
But that is where authenticpower comes in and this is the
work that I do with amazingwomen who are feeling that pull,
(19:14):
that call to something greater.
Even if life looks good on theoutside, they just know there's
more for me.
But I'm gonna tell you whatwe're tired, women are tired.
We are exhausted from all thisstuff.
We overgive, we overcommit, weoverextend and we don't receive.
Very well, it's just we don't.
(19:35):
We're not conditioned that way,right?
So for a lot of us, we don't.
We're not conditioned that way,right?
Um, so for a lot of us, wedon't take that step.
And that's what this work isabout is helping women really
connect to their authentic power, their courage, their
confidence, their inner wisdom,their core purpose, which ebbs
and flows.
It changes, right, but toreally live, lead and love with
(19:57):
courage, confidence and magneticinfluence, like you're talking
about, that energy that radiates.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Absolutely love it, and you know what the world's
changing and I've talked tomultiple people about this.
It is absolutely.
You're seeing a shift.
And it's a beautiful shift tosee because there are so many
gifts and and lights out there,if you will, and that have the
(20:26):
female body, if you will, andmind and heart and soul that are
coming out and finding theirstrength and finding their light
.
And it's because of people likeyou and you obviously you're
you're a leader, you're doing it, but you're seeing this amazing
shift that's happening and I'msuper excited to see you know,
over the next few years orlifetime, whatever the case may
(20:46):
be, you know how this impactsthe world piece right, every
time another person steps up andI'm not just giving all props
to women, but we're just talkingabout this right now, obviously
because it's important forpeople to realize that the new
gifts and the new things thatare going to be brought to the
(21:08):
world, because not being quiet,because not being just shut down
and in your normal role,because not being just shut down
and in your normal role,because what good does a normal
role do for anybody?
Look back in the world, really,just look back in the world for
a minute and think about allthe people that stood up and
stood out, that changed theworld for good.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And it takes them doing that.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
It takes us doing that.
Yes, Right Of stepping up andgoing.
This isn't working for meanymore.
Let me create a space that isworking for me and everybody
around me.
Right, but we get to be a partof that equation and for so long
women have felt like I'm notreally a part of the equation.
I don't really get to bringeverything to the table, because
(21:55):
I need to fit myself into thisspace and the space is shifting
and we get to be a part ofco-creating the way in which
it's going to shift Right,because we're not just victims
of things that happen around us.
We're actually creating andconnecting and contributing
energetically to what'shappening around us.
(22:16):
So how do we want to do that?
Yeah Right, that's the question.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Absolutely, absolutely love.
We talked about this truly,because we really haven't.
Is that weird?
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Well, it's because, like what you said, when Lead
Out to by the Line started, itstarted with women, and then I
thought, wait, wait, this is abigger conversation, and so it
became a co-ed environment for awhile, which was amazing.
It was phenomenal.
I mean, I look at the maleclients, my male clients who
have come through and whatthey're doing, and I'm like I'm
just so grateful to be a part ofthat journey, right, and the
(22:53):
same thing with my, my femaleclients that have come through,
and what I realized, though, isthat, for women to truly feel
that they can step in to theirpower, they need a space where
they can have conversations thatthey may not have outside
otherwise, right, they need aspace where they can have
conversations that they may nothave outside otherwise, right,
they need a space where they canbring things up and go.
Am I crazy?
And we're all like, nope, we'reall dealing with the same thing
(23:16):
, right, but we all have thislike I'm crazy.
Keep it to myself, don't tellanybody that I'm dealing with
this, but when we create thisspace where women can come
together and go girl, I dealwith that every morning we're
like, oh OK, so what's thepathway forward?
Right, and then we can justdiscover together through
(23:36):
sharing lived experiences,through hey, here's some tools
and tips that you may not havethought about, right From neuro
encoding, from brain health,from woman centered coaching
like pulling all of these thingstogether Roman coding, from
brain health, fromwoman-centered coaching like
pulling all of these thingstogether.
It's not one pathway, andthat's the thing is.
We get to design our own uniquepathway forward in a collective
community of really justgenuine support and rising,
(23:58):
helping each other rise.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, authenticity, man.
I'll tell you what it's.
An amazing thing, isn't it it?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
is.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
It feels good.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It does.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
There's nothing that feels better than authenticity,
when you're being integrous orlive in integrity and things
that you do and things thatpeople you're helping or
whatever the case may be.
There's nothing better.
That's the fulfillment that Ithink most people really are
missing.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Exactly, and the fact that you brought up fulfillment
.
It's such a big deal because somany of us men, women alike
we're out there checking the boxof what we think we're supposed
to be doing to get ahead, tomake the money, to get the house
, to get the white picket fenceand the 2.5 kids.
However, you have 2.5 kids, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
We're averaging over the world.
It's a world average, don'tworry about it.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
But that box.
It was not designed for mostpeople, it was not designed
especially for women, because weare creative beings, too Like.
We want to bring our creativityto the table, and here's the
reality, though, and creativityis not just painting.
It's like our ability to createwhatever we want in the moment.
(25:15):
That gets squashed a lot oftimes, and when it is squashed,
it turns into shame, it turnsinto doubt, it turns into fear,
and it turns into this goinginward in a bad way, like
shutting down Right, and sothat's another part of like.
So we have the 10 keys to unlockyour authentic power.
(25:37):
That's part of the program thatwe do within the visionary
women's alliance.
Creativity is one of those keys.
Courage is one of those keys.
Confidence, connection right,we're not meant to walk this
earth alone, and we are notmeant to carry the weight of the
world on our shoulders byourselves, but there is this
(25:58):
maybe unspoken notion of well,don't tell people that you're
struggling with anything, justtake it on, take it on, take it
on.
You're a confident woman,you're competent, you take care
of everybody else's stuff.
What's wrong with you that youcan't take care of your own?
This is what happens in ourminds, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
And I got news for you, Tina.
I love that, but it's not justwomen on those.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
It's not, no, no, no it.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It goes both ways for sure.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
It does.
It's not women at all, it'sjust we're creating a space
within the Visionary.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Women's.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Alliance, where women can have those conversations
without feeling like they haveto censor themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
And they shouldn't.
And I think everybody needs acommunity like that, where they
can come in regardless ofwhatever gender, color, race,
whatever, it doesn't matter, buta space where you come in and
you go.
I belong here and I can risehere.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Here's my tribe, absolutely, and I think you know
, more than ever in the world, Ithink people are looking for
that.
I think, more than ever thatI've seen, they're looking for
their tribe, they're looking forthat connection.
Absolutely, they're looking forthose other people that bring
them up and not bring them down.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Yeah, there's enough out in the world that brings us
down.
We get to show up in full forceto help everybody rise,
including ourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Amen, amen.
So let's jump back really quickto you know, leading with
authentic power.
I just want to, I want to.
We're almost out of time and Ijust want to.
Yeah, we're almost out of time.
We're going for three hours.
Clear schedule.
Tina's busier than I am, I'msure, and I can't do three hours
(27:43):
.
So let's kind of go back.
Just, you know, as far as Iwant to focus on, something you
talked about earlier is the pullinstead of instead of the push,
because if you're being pushedinto something by yourself, by
other people, you are not goingto be authentic, you're not
going to have integrity withwhat you're doing and it's going
(28:05):
to miserable for you and or,potentially, I would say, fail,
because people feel it.
You know, I mean yeah.
So let's talk about the pull.
You're feeling a pull towardssomething you know you're like
oh yeah, this is awesome.
I'm excited about it.
It's going to keep me up late.
Get me up early about it.
(28:28):
It's going to keep me up late,get me up early.
Where, where, where are some ofthe first steps that you would
say for the person to?
And this is the hard part formost people.
That's why I want to bring itup the courage to step out of
their mind and out of themselves, outside the lines, to step
forward.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yeah, A lot of people feel like, okay, when I'm
confident in what I'm doing,then I'll be courageous and I'll
take the steps.
That's not the way it works.
I promise you that's not theway it works, because it's
(29:03):
taking that small step.
It's like, okay, what's onesmall step that I can take today
to move this forward?
And every time you take a step,your landscape changes.
It's like you feel like andhonestly, you feel like you
might be walking in a fog.
You're like it's so foggy Ican't see the pathway.
I don't know what I'm doinghere, I just feel a pull.
Great, take the step, becausewhen you take that one step,
(29:28):
you'll see further through thefog than you could before and
you'll see the landscape changes.
And then you assess and you gookay, what's possible now?
Because every time you take astep forward, new possibilities
open up.
We get in trouble when we staystagnant and dig our heels in
and go oh, I don't know what I'mdoing.
I can't do this.
It's too big for me.
You know all the things thatshow up in that critical talk
(29:52):
that we have.
But when you take that step,even that critical talk goes oh
oh, you did something differenthere, hmm, okay.
And it starts to perk up and gowhat are we doing, right?
So you got to interrupt thatpattern, right?
That's one of the things thatwe talk about is in neuro
encoding is interrupting thepattern, cause we get stuck in
(30:12):
these cycles that are familiar,right, they feel familiar to us.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
So it feels safe.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
It's comfortable, right, because your brain
playing tricks on you.
If it is scary, go, do it.
Unless it's like jumping offthe cliff or something.
Let's be smart about it greatTina.
Disclaimer your thoughts andreality does not but honestly,
(30:39):
it's never as bad as you thinkit's going to be.
Your mind will come up with somany scenarios that are just
crazy.
They don't happen.
I'm telling you, we live ahundred ridiculous outcomes in
our lives but zero of themactually happen.
We live them up here and that'swhat keeps us stuck.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah, absolutely.
That's why we have yourthoughts, your reality.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Exactly Change, absolutely.
That's why we have yourthoughts, your reality.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Exactly Change your thoughts Exactly Change, the
thoughts moving forward, beingexcited about something for
fulfillment, for passion, all ofthose things moving forward in
life.
That 2% little change, that 2%little shift being that step
forward, being the step awayfrom what you're normally doing
to change something a little bit, has amazing outcomes.
And here's the other thing Ijust want to say that you
(31:29):
mentioned when you start doingsomething and you're nervous and
you take that step you're likeokay, I'm all right, Still foggy
but I'm all right and I knowwhat I want because I'm being
pulled towards it.
The universe, God, source,whatever you believe in, lets
the magnetism happen and peoplestart opening up in your life.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
They do.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
And it just makes it easier.
You just have to be courageousenough to take that first,
second, third step, and by thenyou're probably going to start
seeing some changes.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Absolutely, it happens faster than you expect
it really does.
It does and, like you said,opening up yourself and sharing
what your vision is like youdon't have to know the pathway.
But when you start sharing withpeople hey, here's what I'm
being pulled to and I feel likethis is really important and you
just start authenticallysharing, that magnetism happens
(32:25):
and people come into your lifeand they go hey, can I help you
with that?
Hey, I think I have somethingthat might assist.
That's been my experience.
I know it's been yours too,with Spotify.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
But that's because we trust ourselves enough, like
you don't have to know it all,but trust yourself enough to
recognize when you feel thatpull, that you're onto something
.
It's a God whisper.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
It is absolutely.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Um, and I want to say one other thing that you know,
when you do do that, um again,those people just are attracted
to you.
It just opens up the world.
But you just have to take thosefinal steps.
We're so over time, tina Barker.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I know of course we are.
If you're okay with it, I dowant to put a free ebook in the
chat for anybody.
It's the 10 keys, so you canreally go in and go.
Okay, what is all this aboutand how does it apply to me?
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Please do, please do.
And the next question, ofcourse, is how do people reach
out to you?
So please do both.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
I'll put that in.
Oh, I think it just went inprivate chat.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
I don't know.
Let's see if I can learn how todo this.
Why don't you tell people howto reach?
Speaker 3 (33:42):
you.
I got comments.
All right, Best place probablyis on LinkedIn, so I'm on
LinkedIn Tina Parker or TPSunshine, however it comes up
and then lead outside.
Oh good, Obviously obviouslygot it up because you know what
you're doing.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
No, I took a step forward, that's all.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
And then also my website lead outside the lines
dot com, you can find out moreabout what we're doing with the
Visionary Women's all, and thenalso my website, lead outside
the linescom you can find outmore about what we're doing with
the visionary women's Alliance.
We have a mastermind andin-person women's mastermind
coming up.
I would love to put that in thechat too, because you guys,
it's just.
It is in Temecula, california,it's at a winery, it's gorgeous,
and just imagine stepping intoa room, stepping into a room
(34:27):
where your next breakthrough isthere, because the other women
in the room are going to sharetheir experiences and, just as
powerfully, you're going toshare yours.
So you become a catalyst forthe next breakthrough for the
woman that's sitting next to you, not knowing where to find what
she needs.
But you're right there.
Okay, this is what it's allabout.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Sounds amazing, I may wear the wig for that one.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
She'll give you the cliff notes Just put it in
private chat, so if you're ableto put it out there, that would
be wonderful.
Love for these.
Anyone that wants to join us tocome in.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Awesome, and so I'm just going to pop that up as
well.
See if I did that right?
No, I didn't.
I'm sorry guys.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Hey guys, we're learning on the fly here.
There it is.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
All right, so that'll pop up right now.
So with that said, tina Parker,can we get three tips to get
veterans and their familiesfurther faster?
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Absolutely Trust your inner wisdom.
When you feel the pull, go withit and take one step in that
direction, and everything willbecome much clearer.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Absolutely love it.
Absolutely love it, tina.
So, as always, you know, timeis the most precious resource we
have as human beings.
We never get it back.
Thank you for spending so muchtime of your life with us.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
I just appreciate you asking me that.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Absolutely.
I'll send you the schedule.
Truly, thank you for being here.
It means a lot for us and youare a fan fave.
That's no joke.
With that said, everybody,we're out of here.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Thank you for joining us on another insightful
journey of your thoughts yourreality podcast with your host,
michael Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you.
To dive deeper into empoweringyour thoughts and enhancing your
reality, visit empowerperformance strategies.
Deeper into empowering yourthoughts and enhancing your
reality, visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
(36:33):
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways of postdeployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
We are back with Tina Parker.
I believe, tina, you are theguest who has been on the show
the most since the beginning.
I'm the lucky one.
We're the lucky ones.
What are you talking about?
Thank you, so happy to have youback on.
So a little bit of informationon Tina, my dearest friend.
(01:08):
So Tina is the founder of Lead.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Outside the.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Lines, which is dedicated to transforming
leadership through authenticityand neuroscience, which is
awesome.
A retired Air Force lieutenantcolonel, bringing decades of
military leadership experience,of course, to her work.
She's a former C-levelexecutive with firsthand
knowledge of leadershipchallenges in high stakes
environments and a master'sdegree in leadership, coupled
(01:31):
with I don't know certificationsin neuroencoding and brain
health.
And, of course, she is apassionate mentor, speaker and
guides leaders to embrace theirtrue selves with greater impact,
which we are so lucky to have.
You Thank you so much for beingon the show, and why don't you
tell us a little bit more aboutyourself that we haven't talked
about already?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Okay, I don't know if it's going to be something I
haven't ever said because I'm onthe show so much, but I mean
just a quick background.
Yes, 23 years in the Air Force,had an amazing, amazing career
with a lot of greatopportunities in leadership,
followership, creating newthings in an environment where
creating new things wasn'talways the easiest thing to do.
(02:11):
But the thing that stood outmost to me, though, in that
career as well as the coachingcareer that I have now starting,
lead Outside the Lines is justhow powerful people are when we
tap into our genius gifts andbring forth what is uniquely
ours to the table.
So that's that was somethingthat was a thread throughout my
(02:32):
whole career is when we createdspace for people to come as you
are and bring your gifts andyour ideas to the table.
Let's see what becomes possible.
You never knew what was goingto come out of it, but it was
always better than what wouldhave come out without that.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I love that.
I absolutely love that andthank you.
So you know, today we're goingto talk about authentic leading
with authentic power.
I could say that word leadingwith authentic power.
See what happens when I readDon't do that, just talk I know
right, I I will get through onequestion.
(03:09):
That'll just be normal talk, soit's all good.
Organic conversation is alwaysthe best.
So you know, before we we divein deep, I just want to remind
everybody, on the top right handcorner of your screen there's a
blue qr code.
It takes you to empowerperformance strategiescom again
for people listening later onthe podcast forums
empowerperformingstrategiescom,there are free eBooks to look at
(03:31):
and download.
There are veterans groups forveterans and their families to
go and be part of.
There are all kinds ofresources and that kind of stuff
.
So be part of the community, bepart of the mission.
Please Check that out.
So, with that said, shall weget started?
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Let's get started.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And by the way to start.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I just want to say what a wonderful mission you are
creating and a community thatyou're creating for support and
value creation.
It's just, it's wonderful.
So thank you, michael, foreverything you're doing.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Thank you, and thank you for being part of it,
obviously.
So, many times.
Let's see how many times we getTina Parker in in one calendar
year.
There's a challenge.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I'd like people to keep wanting to listen, so you
might want to bring some varietyin.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I have news for you, tina.
You're a fan babe.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I promise you that Thank you?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Absolutely no, thank you, absolutely no, thank you.
So let's start off with whatdoes it mean to lead with
authentic power, and how does itdiffer from traditional
leadership roles?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, such a good question, so I think a lot of
people can probably attest to.
Right now there's a lot ofchange in the world, right?
Things are changing at a speedand a rate faster than most of
us even feel like we can keep upwith or feel equipped to keep
up with, and so leading withauthentic power really means
(04:57):
stepping into who you are andhow you are in the world and
connecting to your own innerwisdom.
So much of the time we arelooking for answers outside of
ourselves, when the reality is,the answers we need are in here.
And when we're constantlylooking outside of ourselves for
validation.
(05:18):
For is this right?
Am I on the right path?
You know, with everythinghappening in the world and the
chaos, you're always going tofeel like you're in swirl,
you're in confusion, you're inswirl and a lot of times it's a
downward spiral swirl and we'relike I just want to pick myself
up.
It's not about outside.
It's going inward and reallytrusting the lived experience,
(05:40):
that you have, your intuition,everything that you bring to the
table, that you have yourintuition, everything that you
bring to the table.
So that is really what it meansto be an authentic power,
because when you do that, youcreate space for other people to
do the same.
So authentic power is not aboutpower grabbing and it's all
mine right.
This is not what power means.
When it's, authentic, powermeans standing in your space and
(06:03):
allowing others to do the sameand everyone rises together.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I absolutely love that.
Literally just got goosebumps.
Who is it?
Michelle O'Dett Green.
She calls them God bumps.
I'm stealing it.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yes, I love them.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
She's fantastic.
So it's really inner strength,right.
It's really just tapping intoyour inner strength and just
letting the world see that, andso that can be scary.
I know we're already off thequestion.
No, we're not.
This is exactly it, becauseyou're right.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It is scary.
People hide we.
I'm going to say we, becausewe're all on this journey, right
?
None of us you, me, nobody elseis standing on the top of the
mountain going.
It's so nice up here.
I hope you make it up here oneday.
I mean, we're all.
We're all on our journey atsome level, right?
And so it is scary, like evenjust even being on this podcast
(06:58):
with you.
It's scary.
It's better, cause we'refriends and we can just talk
about things, right, but puttingour own, putting our genius
gifts out into the world andgoing I don't know where it's
going to resonate, but it's truefor me.
So hopefully it resonates withsomebody.
You know that's scary.
Being seen for who we truly are.
That opens our psyche up tofear of judgment.
(07:23):
Right, has we hesitate?
We're like, oh, are they goingto judge me?
It's ridicule, fear of ridicule.
We doubt ourselves, and so allof those things which are part
of what we do with neuroencodingis to help people overcome
those or at least live with them, right?
They never go away, but movewith them, move.
It's not even moving throughand leaving them behind.
(07:44):
It's like, hey, you get to come.
The doubt and fear is going tobe there, but I'm still going to
show up and I'm still going tobe me and I'm still going to
share my truth and we'll seewhere the chips fall.
That is vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, I love that when you say that, because
everybody has that fear, right,and, as Joseph McLennan's, what
people fear less.
And it's about snappingyourself out of it and just
taking that step forward inanything in life.
Right, because that's how youget results.
As soon as you shrink back,you're not going to get results
and then guess what?
You're going to get resentmentfor yourself, you're going to
(08:18):
beat yourself up even more andall those other things.
So, I love, I really love thatyou said that.
So how would you say steppingforward, you know into your
authentic self?
How do you know?
I know the answer.
We've talked about this, butshare with the audience.
How do you know when you feellike you're in integrity and
your authentic self is steppingforward or you're even just
(08:39):
feeling your authentic selfcompared to you know it not
being authentic?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Absolutely.
I mean, the reality is, youknow, when you are honest with
yourself and you stop thechatter in your mind of, well, I
should do this and I'm supposedto do this, and oh, this is the
way I'm supposed to show up, no, when we quiet that and really
go inward and get connected towho we really are, what we want,
(09:06):
what we like, what we don'tlike, really starting to
recognize conditioning right,we've talked about this.
Like everyone has conditioningand imprints from other people
in our lives, from growing up,in our families, in our cultures
, in our communities.
Those of us who are military,we have military imprinting and
conditioning on us, like youhave to be in this box, and so
(09:31):
for a lot of us, it is sheddingthat conditioning and really
sitting with ourselves and goingwho am I?
What do I want?
What are the genius gifts thatare uniquely mine that I get to
bring into the world and makethe world a better place, right?
And it's when you're connectedto that that you can feel it in
(09:52):
your body.
It's like your body kind ofopens up and you go and you
relax into it instead of, okay,I'm going to show up this way
and I'm going to do these thingsand you know you're posturing.
We feel the posturing right.
It feels restrictive, but whenwe're in our body and we're
truly connected to our authenticpower, it feels very grounding,
(10:12):
calming, even if there's fearthere to step forward and like
speak in public or anything likethat.
You still have this innergrounding and that is where your
power resonates from within you.
It's not something you createaround you and grab Like.
It's not a taking.
It's a creation and an eminenceand an emerging from within,
(10:35):
and that is what is authenticabout it.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, I love that, and let's talk a little bit, if
you will.
When you are in your authenticself, it is calming and you feel
it.
It also creates an energy.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
It does.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
In a good way.
You know, not the overwhelm,anxiety and all those other
stuff Like I said, it's calmingbut the energy that builds.
You know whether you're sittingthere questioning yourself and
starting a podcast and then yourealize, okay, you have 300,000
downloads or whatever.
At this point You're top 10% inthe world and you know.
You get that.
Hey, okay, you're right, you'redoing good stuff, creating that
(11:19):
effect.
But really it's not about that.
I don't care about the money, Idon't care about any of those
things that were going out andhelping people and helping
people so they don't live.
The same story my dad lived andso many other veterans have
lived.
So really, when you get thatenergy and you want to keep
(11:39):
playing with it, I don't call itwork.
I'm sorry, I can't.
It's not work Playing with it.
Talk about leading withauthenticity when you feel that
and you're really just inyourself, if you will, and
moving forward frequencies andthings like that.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Authenticity is the highest level of energy,
energetic frequency, and so it,and being in your authentic
energy, you feel it Like we'retalking about radiating out from
(12:14):
yourself.
You also feel this pull forwardinstead of a pushing against
something.
Right, and sometimes it's hardto put words around that, but we
know in our, in our core, likewhen we feel like we're pushing
against something or we feellike, oh, I'm just being
naturally pulled in thisdirection because it is aligned
with who I am and how I am inthe world and I love that you
brought up to your dad's story.
(12:36):
We all have our livedexperiences and there are lived
experiences that some of us feellike we want to champion in the
world and help others get to.
And then there are some livedexperiences where we want to
help others kind of stop thattrack right, stop that cycle
before it goes somewhere thatwe've seen and we've experienced
(12:57):
and we can go.
I don't think you want toexperience that Can.
I help you Right, and so what Ireally love about you and your
work and this podcast and thiscommunity is it really is born
from a desire that you have toutilize your lived experience to
help others in their own livedexperience, and when that leads
(13:21):
to, as it has, a top 10% podcastwith 300,000 downloads, that is
a natural result of somethingreally authentic and good that
people want to be a part ofright and it's just.
It is a very different result.
It's still a great, it's aresult, but if you got that
result doing something that youdidn't feel in alignment with
(13:44):
that you felt like had to be apush every day to get there,
it's short-lived, it's notfulfilling, and that is the road
to burnout.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, I love that.
You said that by the way I'llsend you a check after this
episode.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Just keep getting it out in the world, man.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Absolutely, you know, and for you as well.
Right.
So you know, with Lead Outsidethe Lines, you saw the need, you
saw what the world needs andit's authentic women, right
Powerhouses, moving forward intheir true, authentic selves.
And it's absolutely there's thego again, God bumps, it is you
(14:27):
know.
You know I get them wheneversomething really hits me as
important and what you're doingis so important, and I know
you've switched who you kind ofwork with at some point.
I may still wear a wig one dayto get into one of your programs
.
I know, you're always like, canI come?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I love it, it's so good.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
The funny thing is I don't edit this.
I can't take that out.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
So if you show up in a wig one day, I'm like Michael,
we know it's you Like.
Thanks for calling.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
That would be actually kind of funny.
Then you kick me out.
No, so it's, it's so fantastic.
You know kind of what you do.
So talk to me a little bit inour audience, because we don't
really talk about specificallywhat you do.
A lot we talk about, you know,helping veterans.
So let's switch this a littlebit.
Of course, veterans are alwaysin their families, are always
(15:27):
part of this, but what is itthat you're really doing with?
You know specifically authenticwomen and bringing those
powerhouses to their light, ifyou will.
So they know.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I love how you put it that way, because it really is
about bringing them to their ownlighthouse, like they are their
lighthouse, and so much of thetime we just get disconnected
from that because of the waythat we feel like we're supposed
to show up right, to be seen asprofessional, to be seen as a
(16:03):
leader, to be seen at takenseriously, like.
But what I have come tounderstand in in my my life
really is the times that I feltlike I had to show up a way that
was not authentic to me or Ihad to consistently make
concessions or hide parts ofmyself.
(16:23):
That is when things went southand I mean south to the point
where some people have heardthis and I'll keep it short.
But there was a point in mylife where on the outside,
everything looked really great,I had a great job, life, or on
the outside, everything lookedreally great.
I had a great job, I wasserving in the reserve with an
amazing team, I was married, Ihad a wonderful position.
(16:44):
I just loved my life on theoutside right, because all the
boxes were checked, but I wasn'tfully being true to who I am
and how I am in the world and Iwas hiding parts of myself, and
it led to me going through aperiod of time where I lost my
son to stillbirth, my body wasshutting down.
Then I got pregnant right away,which your body's like Whoa,
(17:06):
what is happening here, right?
So a lot of things happen there, whoa.
Thankfully, my daughter wasborn.
She's amazing.
But six months later I wasdiagnosed with cancer and so I
have a six month old at hometrying to care for her and have
a job and helping my nowex-husband.
There's the other part of thestory Build his business, right,
(17:27):
and like where am I?
Where did I go, except layingin a hospital bed hoping that
this tumor that they found, theywere going to be able to take
care of it, and thankfully theydid, because they said they're
like look, if we didn't findthis, if you didn't come in
which I almost didn't I almostdid not go in for the screening.
I was too busy, I got too muchgoing on to go into a screening.
(17:49):
What so?
Yeah, you know what I'm talkingabout, but honestly, I I'm
going to, I'm going to bestraight up with you guys here.
The doctor told me he said, ifwe did not find this which we
don't normally find these untilit's too late, because of the
type it is and where it was he'slike.
If we didn't find this, youwould be dead in five to 10
(18:11):
years.
Wow Gone, and that was 13 yearsago.
How things would be differenthow things would be different
Exactly.
So it really struck me that thebigger purpose for me in this
world it took me a while to getto, to be able to do it Right,
(18:32):
but I I said, look in 2021, Iwas like that's it.
But I said, look in 2021, I waslike that's it.
I have to build this.
I'm feeling called that polethat we talk about, right, to
build lead outside the lines.
And I know it's lead outsidethe lines because it's about
doing it different.
It's about doing it inauthentic alignment with who we
are and how we are in the world,and you know what it would look
(18:54):
like exactly, right?
I think that's the thing withall.
Entrepreneurs and businessowners are like I got this
vision.
I have no idea how to get there.
That's where a lot of peoplestop, right, so we go.
I don't know the how, so I'mjust not gonna take the steps.
But that is where authenticpower comes in and this is the
work that I do with amazingwomen who are feeling that pull,
(19:14):
that call to something greater.
Even if life looks good on theoutside, they just know there's
more for me.
But I'm gonna tell you whatwe're tired, women are tired.
We are exhausted from all thisstuff.
We overgive, we overcommit, weoverextend and we don't receive.
Very well, it's just we don't.
(19:35):
We're not conditioned that way,right?
So for a lot of us, we don't.
We're not conditioned that way,right?
Um, so for a lot of us, wedon't take that step.
And that's what this work isabout is helping women really
connect to their authentic power, their courage, their
confidence, their inner wisdom,their core purpose, which ebbs
and flows.
It changes, right, but toreally live, lead and love with
(19:57):
courage, confidence and magneticinfluence, like you're talking
about, that energy that radiates.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Absolutely love it, and you know what the world's
changing and I've talked tomultiple people about this.
It is absolutely.
You're seeing a shift.
And it's a beautiful shift tosee because there are so many
gifts and and lights out there,if you will, and that have the
(20:26):
female body, if you will, andmind and heart and soul that are
coming out and finding theirstrength and finding their light
.
And it's because of people likeyou and you obviously you're
you're a leader, you're doing it, but you're seeing this amazing
shift that's happening and I'msuper excited to see you know,
over the next few years orlifetime, whatever the case may
(20:46):
be, you know how this impactsthe world piece right, every
time another person steps up andI'm not just giving all props
to women, but we're just talkingabout this right now, obviously
because it's important forpeople to realize that the new
gifts and the new things thatare going to be brought to the
(21:08):
world, because not being quiet,because not being just shut down
and in your normal role,because not being just shut down
and in your normal role,because what good does a normal
role do for anybody?
Look back in the world, really,just look back in the world for
a minute and think about allthe people that stood up and
stood out, that changed theworld for good.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And it takes them doing that.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
It takes us doing that.
Yes, Right Of stepping up andgoing.
This isn't working for meanymore.
Let me create a space that isworking for me and everybody
around me.
Right, but we get to be a partof that equation and for so long
women have felt like I'm notreally a part of the equation.
I don't really get to bringeverything to the table, because
(21:55):
I need to fit myself into thisspace and the space is shifting
and we get to be a part ofco-creating the way in which
it's going to shift Right,because we're not just victims
of things that happen around us.
We're actually creating andconnecting and contributing
energetically to what'shappening around us.
(22:16):
So how do we want to do that?
Yeah Right, that's the question.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Absolutely, absolutely love.
We talked about this truly,because we really haven't.
Is that weird?
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Well, it's because, like what you said, when Lead
Out to by the Line started, itstarted with women, and then I
thought, wait, wait, this is abigger conversation, and so it
became a co-ed environment for awhile, which was amazing.
It was phenomenal.
I mean, I look at the maleclients, my male clients who
have come through and whatthey're doing, and I'm like I'm
just so grateful to be a part ofthat journey, right, and the
(22:53):
same thing with my, my femaleclients that have come through,
and what I realized, though, isthat, for women to truly feel
that they can step in to theirpower, they need a space where
they can have conversations thatthey may not have outside
otherwise, right, they need aspace where they can have
conversations that they may nothave outside otherwise, right,
they need a space where they canbring things up and go.
Am I crazy?
And we're all like, nope, we'reall dealing with the same thing
(23:16):
, right, but we all have thislike I'm crazy.
Keep it to myself, don't tellanybody that I'm dealing with
this, but when we create thisspace where women can come
together and go girl, I dealwith that every morning we're
like, oh OK, so what's thepathway forward?
Right, and then we can justdiscover together through
(23:36):
sharing lived experiences,through hey, here's some tools
and tips that you may not havethought about, right From neuro
encoding, from brain health,from woman centered coaching
like pulling all of these thingstogether Roman coding, from
brain health, fromwoman-centered coaching like
pulling all of these thingstogether.
It's not one pathway, andthat's the thing is.
We get to design our own uniquepathway forward in a collective
community of really justgenuine support and rising,
(23:58):
helping each other rise.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, authenticity, man.
I'll tell you what it's.
An amazing thing, isn't it it?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
is.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
It feels good.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It does.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
There's nothing that feels better than authenticity,
when you're being integrous orlive in integrity and things
that you do and things thatpeople you're helping or
whatever the case may be.
There's nothing better.
That's the fulfillment that Ithink most people really are
missing.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Exactly, and the fact that you brought up fulfillment
.
It's such a big deal because somany of us men, women alike
we're out there checking the boxof what we think we're supposed
to be doing to get ahead, tomake the money, to get the house
, to get the white picket fenceand the 2.5 kids.
However, you have 2.5 kids, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
We're averaging over the world.
It's a world average, don'tworry about it.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
But that box.
It was not designed for mostpeople, it was not designed
especially for women, because weare creative beings, too Like.
We want to bring our creativityto the table, and here's the
reality, though, and creativityis not just painting.
It's like our ability to createwhatever we want in the moment.
(25:15):
That gets squashed a lot oftimes, and when it is squashed,
it turns into shame, it turnsinto doubt, it turns into fear,
and it turns into this goinginward in a bad way, like
shutting down Right, and sothat's another part of like.
So we have the 10 keys to unlockyour authentic power.
(25:37):
That's part of the program thatwe do within the visionary
women's alliance.
Creativity is one of those keys.
Courage is one of those keys.
Confidence, connection right,we're not meant to walk this
earth alone, and we are notmeant to carry the weight of the
world on our shoulders byourselves, but there is this
(25:58):
maybe unspoken notion of well,don't tell people that you're
struggling with anything, justtake it on, take it on, take it
on.
You're a confident woman,you're competent, you take care
of everybody else's stuff.
What's wrong with you that youcan't take care of your own?
This is what happens in ourminds, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
And I got news for you, Tina.
I love that, but it's not justwomen on those.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
It's not, no, no, no it.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It goes both ways for sure.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
It does.
It's not women at all, it'sjust we're creating a space
within the Visionary.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Women's.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Alliance, where women can have those conversations
without feeling like they haveto censor themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
And they shouldn't.
And I think everybody needs acommunity like that, where they
can come in regardless ofwhatever gender, color, race,
whatever, it doesn't matter, buta space where you come in and
you go.
I belong here and I can risehere.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Here's my tribe, absolutely, and I think you know
, more than ever in the world, Ithink people are looking for
that.
I think, more than ever thatI've seen, they're looking for
their tribe, they're looking forthat connection.
Absolutely, they're looking forthose other people that bring
them up and not bring them down.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Yeah, there's enough out in the world that brings us
down.
We get to show up in full forceto help everybody rise,
including ourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Amen, amen.
So let's jump back really quickto you know, leading with
authentic power.
I just want to, I want to.
We're almost out of time and Ijust want to.
Yeah, we're almost out of time.
We're going for three hours.
Clear schedule.
Tina's busier than I am, I'msure, and I can't do three hours
(27:43):
.
So let's kind of go back.
Just, you know, as far as Iwant to focus on, something you
talked about earlier is the pullinstead of instead of the push,
because if you're being pushedinto something by yourself, by
other people, you are not goingto be authentic, you're not
going to have integrity withwhat you're doing and it's going
(28:05):
to miserable for you and or,potentially, I would say, fail,
because people feel it.
You know, I mean yeah.
So let's talk about the pull.
You're feeling a pull towardssomething you know you're like
oh yeah, this is awesome.
I'm excited about it.
It's going to keep me up late.
Get me up early about it.
(28:28):
It's going to keep me up late,get me up early.
Where, where, where are some ofthe first steps that you would
say for the person to?
And this is the hard part formost people.
That's why I want to bring itup the courage to step out of
their mind and out of themselves, outside the lines, to step
forward.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yeah, A lot of people feel like, okay, when I'm
confident in what I'm doing,then I'll be courageous and I'll
take the steps.
That's not the way it works.
I promise you that's not theway it works, because it's
(29:03):
taking that small step.
It's like, okay, what's onesmall step that I can take today
to move this forward?
And every time you take a step,your landscape changes.
It's like you feel like andhonestly, you feel like you
might be walking in a fog.
You're like it's so foggy Ican't see the pathway.
I don't know what I'm doinghere, I just feel a pull.
Great, take the step, becausewhen you take that one step,
(29:28):
you'll see further through thefog than you could before and
you'll see the landscape changes.
And then you assess and you gookay, what's possible now?
Because every time you take astep forward, new possibilities
open up.
We get in trouble when we staystagnant and dig our heels in
and go oh, I don't know what I'mdoing.
I can't do this.
It's too big for me.
You know all the things thatshow up in that critical talk
(29:52):
that we have.
But when you take that step,even that critical talk goes oh
oh, you did something differenthere, hmm, okay.
And it starts to perk up and gowhat are we doing, right?
So you got to interrupt thatpattern, right?
That's one of the things thatwe talk about is in neuro
encoding is interrupting thepattern, cause we get stuck in
(30:12):
these cycles that are familiar,right, they feel familiar to us.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
So it feels safe.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
It's comfortable, right, because your brain
playing tricks on you.
If it is scary, go, do it.
Unless it's like jumping offthe cliff or something.
Let's be smart about it greatTina.
Disclaimer your thoughts andreality does not but honestly,
(30:39):
it's never as bad as you thinkit's going to be.
Your mind will come up with somany scenarios that are just
crazy.
They don't happen.
I'm telling you, we live ahundred ridiculous outcomes in
our lives but zero of themactually happen.
We live them up here and that'swhat keeps us stuck.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah, absolutely.
That's why we have yourthoughts, your reality.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Exactly Change, absolutely.
That's why we have yourthoughts, your reality.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Exactly Change your thoughts Exactly Change, the
thoughts moving forward, beingexcited about something for
fulfillment, for passion, all ofthose things moving forward in
life.
That 2% little change, that 2%little shift being that step
forward, being the step awayfrom what you're normally doing
to change something a little bit, has amazing outcomes.
And here's the other thing Ijust want to say that you
(31:29):
mentioned when you start doingsomething and you're nervous and
you take that step you're likeokay, I'm all right, Still foggy
but I'm all right and I knowwhat I want because I'm being
pulled towards it.
The universe, God, source,whatever you believe in, lets
the magnetism happen and peoplestart opening up in your life.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
They do.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
And it just makes it easier.
You just have to be courageousenough to take that first,
second, third step, and by thenyou're probably going to start
seeing some changes.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Absolutely, it happens faster than you expect
it really does.
It does and, like you said,opening up yourself and sharing
what your vision is like youdon't have to know the pathway.
But when you start sharing withpeople hey, here's what I'm
being pulled to and I feel likethis is really important and you
just start authenticallysharing, that magnetism happens
(32:25):
and people come into your lifeand they go hey, can I help you
with that?
Hey, I think I have somethingthat might assist.
That's been my experience.
I know it's been yours too,with Spotify.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
But that's because we trust ourselves enough, like
you don't have to know it all,but trust yourself enough to
recognize when you feel thatpull, that you're onto something
.
It's a God whisper.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
It is absolutely.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Um, and I want to say one other thing that you know,
when you do do that, um again,those people just are attracted
to you.
It just opens up the world.
But you just have to take thosefinal steps.
We're so over time, tina Barker.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I know of course we are.
If you're okay with it, I dowant to put a free ebook in the
chat for anybody.
It's the 10 keys, so you canreally go in and go.
Okay, what is all this aboutand how does it apply to me?
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Please do, please do.
And the next question, ofcourse, is how do people reach
out to you?
So please do both.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
I'll put that in.
Oh, I think it just went inprivate chat.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
I don't know.
Let's see if I can learn how todo this.
Why don't you tell people howto reach?
Speaker 3 (33:42):
you.
I got comments.
All right, Best place probablyis on LinkedIn, so I'm on
LinkedIn Tina Parker or TPSunshine, however it comes up
and then lead outside.
Oh good, Obviously obviouslygot it up because you know what
you're doing.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
No, I took a step forward, that's all.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
And then also my website lead outside the lines
dot com, you can find out moreabout what we're doing with the
Visionary Women's all, and thenalso my website, lead outside
the linescom you can find outmore about what we're doing with
the visionary women's Alliance.
We have a mastermind andin-person women's mastermind
coming up.
I would love to put that in thechat too, because you guys,
it's just.
It is in Temecula, california,it's at a winery, it's gorgeous,
and just imagine stepping intoa room, stepping into a room
(34:27):
where your next breakthrough isthere, because the other women
in the room are going to sharetheir experiences and, just as
powerfully, you're going toshare yours.
So you become a catalyst forthe next breakthrough for the
woman that's sitting next to you, not knowing where to find what
she needs.
But you're right there.
Okay, this is what it's allabout.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Sounds amazing, I may wear the wig for that one.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
She'll give you the cliff notes Just put it in
private chat, so if you're ableto put it out there, that would
be wonderful.
Love for these.
Anyone that wants to join us tocome in.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Awesome, and so I'm just going to pop that up as
well.
See if I did that right?
No, I didn't.
I'm sorry guys.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Hey guys, we're learning on the fly here.
There it is.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
All right, so that'll pop up right now.
So with that said, tina Parker,can we get three tips to get
veterans and their familiesfurther faster?
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Absolutely Trust your inner wisdom.
When you feel the pull, go withit and take one step in that
direction, and everything willbecome much clearer.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Absolutely love it.
Absolutely love it, tina.
So, as always, you know, timeis the most precious resource we
have as human beings.
We never get it back.
Thank you for spending so muchtime of your life with us.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
I just appreciate you asking me that.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Absolutely.
I'll send you the schedule.
Truly, thank you for being here.
It means a lot for us and youare a fan fave.
That's no joke.
With that said, everybody,we're out of here.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Thank you for joining us on another insightful
journey of your thoughts yourreality podcast with your host,
michael Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you.
To dive deeper into empoweringyour thoughts and enhancing your
reality, visit empowerperformance strategies.
Deeper into empowering yourthoughts and enhancing your
reality, visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
(36:33):
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
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