Unlock the secrets to transforming intimate relationships by tuning into this episode with Cathy and Robert Casteel. With over 54 years of combined military experience, Cathy and Robert offer a wealth of knowledge on overcoming personal struggles and embracing intentional self-development. Their story is a testament to the power of personal accountability and courage in nurturing a relationship filled with passion and devotion. They share valuable insights on how veterans and their families can heal from trauma and break generational cycles, encouraging listeners to take ownership of their actions for healthier relationships.
Communication and emotional safety take center stage as we explore how instinctual responses can hinder constructive dialogue, particularly during conflicts. Discover Cathy and Robert's strategies for addressing trauma, especially within the veteran community, and learn how creating new belief systems can disrupt negative patterns. The importance of seeking help and the bravery required to confront unresolved trauma are emphasized, offering listeners a pathway to healing and renewed connections.
The episode rounds off by introducing practical tools like the Covenant Conversation and the transformative Ho'oponopono prayer, which empowers partners to address past traumas and foster forgiveness. As we reflect on how thoughts shape our reality, we express heartfelt gratitude for your support and encourage you to consciously create the life you desire. Join us in this enlightening journey and gain access to empowering strategies that can profoundly impact your relationships.
Curious about Dominance & submission? Real stories, real fun, really kinky.
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways ofpost-deployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
So we have one of my, a coupleof my favorites, I should say,
People on today.
We have what was that yourfavorite?
There you go.
Now, Robert, I love you too.
Now let's get serious, Geez.
So I have Kathy and RobertCastile on.
(01:09):
They've been on multiple times.
They always 54 years over 54years combined of military
experience.
They specialize in helpingindividuals release false
(01:31):
beliefs and break generationalcycles to rediscover their
authentic selves, which isamazing and super important.
Their work emphasizes healthy,collaborative strategies for
healing trauma within intimaterelationships as well, and
that's what we're going to kindof get into today.
So people that aren't familiarwith you yet, haven't seen you
on here I don't know how manytimes, Tell us a little bit more
(01:52):
about yourself, please, you goahead.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So I spent over 30 years in the military, over 15
years in corporate America.
I met my husband late in lifeand when I met him, I had a
whole bunch of stuff that Ihadn't dealt with.
So they say, hurt people, hurtpeople.
So I didn't really know how tolive my best life with my
(02:17):
husband and I knew that's what Iwanted, and so I got introduced
to self-development in 2013 andit just lit a fire, and so I
got introduced toself-development in 2013 and it
just lit a fire yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Fantastic.
How about you, robert?
So I spent almost 24 years inthe Army.
While I was in the service Iwas married twice, divorced
twice, and then I met Kathyafter I retired and our growth
(02:52):
from the time we met to today isso magnificent.
It's been life-changing andit's just getting into personal
development and then finding ourcommunity of warriors and
queens and getting into thatcommunity, our growth in
relationship is justspringboarded.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
And I want to say you know, warriors and Queens is
fantastic.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Dave and Yvette, you know, amen.
So what?
What?
How do I say this?
So, as far as you know, we'retalking about trauma and healing
together today, right, so let's, if we can.
You know, you guys are always,you know, fantastic and share
vulnerabilities and that kind ofthing, can you know, you guys
are always, you know, fantasticand share vulnerabilities and
that kind of thing.
And I think, especially as acouple, you know, we don't get a
lot of couples that come on todo this with us.
(03:34):
So I, you know, this is a treatfor us.
So everybody, you know, reallyjust dive into this and take
notes all that fun stuff, if youwill, because these two amazing
souls are just some of myfavorites.
So let's dive in if we can Doesthat sound good guys, Absolutely
.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
If I may share one thing before we get started.
You know me and my husband hada great relationship and I use
that word great.
We had a great relationshipbefore we started diving and
being intentional on ourmarriage.
The only thing that improves iswhat you're intentional on.
So we became intentional onimproving our marriage.
(04:11):
So we went from having a greatmarriage to now having a
passionate marriage where I nowhave my husband's devotion,
which just is over the moon forme.
So I just want to share that,which just is over the moon for
me.
So I just want to share that,like what you're, as Robert,
shared.
What we are now is not what wewere when we got married.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And what's possible if you're willing to put some
intention into it.
Absolutely love that you saythat Because that's what it's
all about.
Right, because if you don't putthat intent, you know my wife
says talks about, you know,people being roommates, you know
, more than passionate and inlove with each other, and you
know, I don't care if it's beenthree years or 50.
(04:58):
If you put that intent in there,like you said, it changes the
game.
So let's talk about that firstbefore we start diving into
trauma, if we can.
So what are some of the toolsthat you would give veterans and
their families that you guyshave used personally to just
reconnect, so that I know peoplethat haven't seen you on here
(05:20):
yet.
I kind of want to get a playingfield, if you will, on kind of
what Warriors and Queens andwhat you will, on kind of what
Warriors and Queens and what youguys, of course, coach people
on.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
So let's start with when you have a disagreement
with your significant other oryour partner.
Typically, what happens is forKathy and I.
What I would do when we wouldhave a disagreement is I would
get mad with what was going onand I would walk off.
I'd go downstairs to cool offor whatever the case may be, or
(05:53):
take a baseball bat and whack upagainst a tree or something
like that Something to get thefrustration out and then come
back later and talk about whatwas going on.
At no point in there would Iown up to anything I did, and I
wasn't really cleaning my sideof the street up.
(06:14):
So one of the first things istake ownership for your actions
and clean up that side of yourstreet.
You can't clean up yoursignificant others and you can't
clean up anybody else's.
It starts with you.
I don't know Kathy hadsomething she wanted to add into
(06:37):
that too.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
So there are times that me and Robert have had
disagreements that I don't feellike I didn't contribute
anything to that.
I'm not apologizing because Ididn't do anything wrong.
And two things on that.
One, my mom used to always sayit takes two to tango.
(06:59):
So whether you think youcontributed to that or not, we
all had a small play in the part.
And the other part is do youwant to live in that energy?
You know, sometimes I don'tfeel it's my fault and somebody
has to go first.
So I can either live in thatenergy or I can choose to be the
(07:23):
one that steps up this time andgoes first.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, I love.
I love what you just said First, before I even go there, though
.
How many bats did you break,robert?
It was a little bit of a bat,so it didn't break.
Would have felt better if itbroke, right.
Yeah, instead of vibrating upyour hands.
But, it was probably just thatreminder of is this really worth
(07:47):
it?
Exactly so, kathy, with whatyou said, someone needs to go
first take responsibility tosome extent.
I mean, again, it takes two,and I agree 100%, because
usually it's something and thensomebody takes offense for
whatever reason or is hurt by itreally, and sometimes you don't
(08:08):
even know, especially as a man.
It's like what, what did I do?
So let's dive into that alittle bit.
What are some of the thingsthat you would say you should be
looking out for or noticeduring that conversation,
especially if you are the onethat was hurt or offended or
whatever the case may be, tomaybe control that or something.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Actually, michael, I would love to turn it over,
because he had an aware, whilewe had an awareness together and
I, if you would like to share,I think that would be great from
perspective, if you would like.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Absolutely Anybody, please, yes.
So when we would get in adisagreement that I would get
angry, I'd get frustrated atsomething that she said and it's
usually somewhere along thelines of communication and
understanding what implied andliteral communication is.
(09:07):
I would say something I am aliteral communicator.
Hey, go pick up this stone.
Sometimes Kathy would implysomething in there and she would
(09:30):
imply that I said that she's assmart as a stone.
Just an example.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
When she did that, it was like when have I ever said
that to you?
May I share the real storybehind that?
So he's giving an example.
I'll give you the real deal.
So I am an applied communicator, which means you should know
what I'm saying by.
What I'm saying versus whatRobert says is literal, With the
exception of some.
(09:59):
When he gets into energy poor,I have to stay on my toes
because that's what creates somedynamics as well, as he
switches to an impliedcommunicator.
Like you're literal, like allthe other times like and now I'm
supposed to know that you'reshifting to an implied
communicator.
So, basically, he had saidsomething and I don't remember
(10:21):
the exact verbiage.
What I heard in my head is areyou a freaking idiot?
Can you not see this?
That went over well, Not wellat all.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
After a while I was like, when I got the story out
of her, what she thought, and Ijust basically asked her when
have I ever said that to you?
And that's when we figured outabout the implied and literal
communication.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
And I must have been really triggered on my not
enoughness, because, I mean,he's never said that to me.
I heard that.
So I must have been triggeredabout something or feeling not
enough about something.
So that was just my unconsciousmind saying oh, let me validate
this not enoughness for you, sowe'll throw that in there and
(11:20):
that's's what you see.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Let me make you really feel this as your partner
.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Only thing your partner's doing is holding up a
mirror and reflecting whatyou're seeing.
In other words, if you're notfeeling enough, it's a mirror
looking back at you.
It's not something the otherperson's doing.
The other person is just makingsounds or doing some sort of
(11:53):
action.
You're the one that'sinterpreting it as I'm not
enough.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Yeah, and I think we do that as human beings a lot.
Our thoughts, unfortunately,are more negative than positive
for the average person.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We've had a lot of people on here.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
We talk about it a lot, about how you know your
thoughts are taking you down aroad that isn't true at all and
and 99% of the time, is nevergoing to come to fruition.
So it's it's very interestinghow our mind does that.
So let's, let's dive intotrauma a little bit.
Let's you guys have anythingelse on this that you want to
just dive into more, becauseit's really great stuff, by the
(12:37):
way, guys.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Yeah, one of the things I would do is I would
walk off when Kathy, when wewere having a disagreement, I'd
just walk off.
I'd go in the shed or go outback, whatever the case may be,
and not understanding what wasgoing on.
A woman's safety center isthree times larger than a man
(13:07):
and they will feel unsafemultiple times a day where men,
just they don't feel it.
They may be only a few times intheir life, depending upon
their jobs.
What we learned is through ourwork is, if I reinsure Kathy,
hey look, I've got to go cooloff, I'm going to walk away for
a bit, I will be back.
That makes her feel safe andsecure and it don't violate her
(13:29):
safety center.
You got something you want toadd to?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
that, just from a woman's perspective, a couple
things.
One, he could say he loves me amillion times a day Still
doesn't quiet the voice thatmaybe this time he'll leave day
(13:52):
softens that voice just a littlebit, and I'm not going to say
that even when he tells me like,hey, I'm gonna go downstairs,
cool off, I'll be back, I'm notgoing anywhere, I still love you
, we're still gonna stay married, doesn't mean that I still
don't feel a little unsettledinside, because I don't like
conflict between the two of us,right.
(14:13):
That being said.
Said, though, it's a lot morequiet than the raging voice I
used to hear.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah.
And that absolutely makes senseand I'm really glad you guys
brought this up because it is soimportant for that little
communication right Of saying,hey, I love you, I'm going to be
right, I'm going to be back, Ineed a minute for myself.
I just need to get myself rightso we can have this
conversation the right way andnot the way it's heading now.
(14:42):
And that is a game changer forthose spin cycles.
If you will, you know where ourminds just go crazy and you
know because if you don't stepaway and you guys know your
patterns if you don't step away,things are just going to get
worse and worse and worse andthings are just going to be said
that no one really means, orjust hurtful and so on, that a
(15:05):
lot of times you don't reallycome back from because those
things do stack.
So I love that you brought thatup.
I really do.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It makes a difference when you come from a place we
call it human instinct or humanspirit.
There's a difference in thetype of conversation that you
have, the quality of theconversation that you have when
you're coming from humaninstinct at each other and human
spirit.
So we have a tool on that.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Can you explain that some more?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Absolutely so.
Human instinct is that's yourfight or flight.
That means like I have to gokill the deer because I get to
feed my family.
That means my life is on theline.
No, I have not known anyintelligent, respectful
(15:59):
conversations come about whenwe're in fight or flight,
because it's all aboutprotection, whereas human spirit
that's when we're open topossibility, we're open to
different thoughts.
You're in an energy at leastenergy neutral to energy rich
state, so you can see otherperspectives and maybe see where
(16:22):
you played a role in it, versusjust, you know, going straight
after the jugular.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah, and I think, I think it's super
important.
Please, robert, you're going tosay something.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
So my hallucination is that for the veterans that
have seen combat, that humaninstinct was driven so deep
about the actions that they hadin that situation that they're
in a constant loop and theycan't get out of that trauma to
(16:54):
grow their life, to better theirlives.
So a lot of them that sufferfrom PTSD is a constant trauma
that keeps replaying for themand it comes I honestly believe
it actually comes from thathuman instinct being driven so
deep, so hard in that situationthat they can't fight out of it.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yeah, and there's a portion of our brain where it
literally gets stuck wherenormal bad things that happen.
It goes around and releases andwhat happens is it gets stuck
in there until they, in myopinion, create new belief
systems about the situation andwhat happened, and that's when
it gets released and that's whatI've seen.
But until then it sits thereand then we keep thinking about
(17:39):
it.
The trauma happened oncegenerally, but it's the repeated
thinking of it that createsthat trauma that just keeps
going and going and going thatthey can't escape if you will.
So I'm glad you brought uptrauma, because that takes us to
our next section.
So in relationships, and thankyou, rob, for bringing that up,
because it's takes us to ournext section.
So so in relationships, andthank you, robert, for bringing
that up because it's superimportant that people understand
(18:01):
that with, with withrelationships and couples.
And again, I love when you guysare on because we get to, we
get to really do this, so withwith a trauma, and you guys can,
if you will, bring up somethingfrom yourselves or just
something you know out of, youknow just thoughts.
What is a trauma and how issome of the best ways to kind of
(18:23):
bring up?
Hey, I'm dealing with the traumabecause we know, you know,
veterans are conditioned man todeal with it on their own.
You know work through it, don'task for help, all these things.
And of course, you know workthrough it, don't ask for help,
all these things.
And of course, we know the mostcourageous thing we can do is
actually ask for help.
So, where, where?
Give me some thoughts on whereto start?
(18:44):
Where, where would you suggest?
Hey, man, I'm really dealingwith something.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And I just I need to talk to somebody, give me some
thoughts.
Do you have that realization?
For myself, to deal with thetraumas I had, I had to start
with asking myself if it's arepeat trauma.
For instance, like I said whenI first started, I've been
married twice.
There's some relationshiptrauma in there from both those
marriages.
And when Kathy and I werehaving challenges, we had to go
(19:25):
back and when's the first timethat happened?
When's the last time thathappened?
And just start walking it back.
I might not remember the firsttime, but I can remember the
last time.
I might not remember the firsttime, but I can remember the
last time.
And then I can start diggingback and keep going back in time
until I find that first timeand look at the situation that
was going on and what triggeredthat, and then ask questions
(19:51):
what did I contribute and couldI have done anything differently
?
And clean my side of the streetup?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, yeah, I love that you said that, especially
the part about how the last timeand going back and a lot of
times these traumas were fromchildhood that actually come up
later on that you don't evenrealize are there, right?
You know, there's times Susanand I will be talking and we'll
(20:22):
just start talking aboutsomething and we'll have these
realizations of years and yearsand years ago, something that
happened to us that we still aredealing with.
So I love that you brought thatup, that you start with the
last one and work backwards.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Love that, Robert brought that up, that you start
with the last one and workbackwards.
Love that, robert.
Most of our traumas occur whenwe're zero to eight years old,
like that's when we're buildingour belief systems, and so by
going back you can look with theolder, wiser self and look at
it.
Did it really happen that way?
It was it because one of thethings so I'll share something
(20:56):
I'm working through right now mydad was not the best dad in the
world.
He had his own challenges.
I truly believe a lot of it wasgenerational and this whole not
being good enough.
As we discussed a little bitearlier today.
(21:17):
That's been a hot topic for melately.
My dad treated his stepchildrenbetter than he treated his own
kids.
Like he wanted to spend timewith his stepkids, you know, got
them things they needed, didn'tgo out of his way to come and
see us, and so here I did allthis healing on my dad and, and
(21:38):
you know, through many differenttools, and I'm like I'm good
when it comes to my dad, andthen all of a sudden, something
came up and it came back to thatand I'm like, here we go again.
Okay, maybe I haven't healedeverything around my dad.
So I say that to say that thosetraumas that happened during
those times different layers,different, like there were so
(22:01):
many interactions you had fromzero to eight that you created
file systems on and that youbelieved unconsciously that that
meant something.
So by going back and andrevisiting it, as as Robert said
, and and looking at it from adifferent perspective, you can
(22:22):
now heal that part of you andhave a conversation around it
and heal your side street, comeback like after healing yourself
, and then come back and sharethe story.
There's a great tool called thecovenant conversation, and I
won't go into too much detail.
If anyone wants to know moreabout it, reach out to us or to
(22:46):
Michael and I'll be more thanhappy.
It's being able to have aconversation with your spouse or
significant other with zerojudgment, bringing up things
that happened as a child, thatyou maybe had guilt and shame
about, or whatever.
You start it under the umbrellaof your covenant relationship
(23:08):
through a prayer, agree thatboth parties agree that it's
going to be a judgment-free zone.
The other person doesn't speaktill the other person's done,
and then it's not an opportunityto defend yourself, it's just
an opportunity for you to hearfrom someone's heart and
whatever shared in thatconversation cannot be used at
(23:31):
all ever.
You've all agreed that it willnever be used against you.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Absolutely, absolutely love it.
You know there's, there's thoseare the deepest, most healing
conversations for both people,in my opinion okay, just my
opinion, because who doesn'twant to be there for the other
one they love and when they canbe, and it's non-judgmental,
it's a free zone if you will,and you just become closer.
(24:00):
Just become closer.
I really love that, and anybodywanting more information please
reach out because literally, itis one of the best things in a
relationship there is just to goand be able to speak your true
heart and be your authentic self.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
So Robert, you're going to say something.
Yeah, so a lot of the traumas wehave.
They create masks and as we putthem on and say, kathy and I
have a fight and then all of asudden I feel belittled or
whatever the case may be, all ofa sudden I throw a mask on and
(24:41):
I'm not acting the way I wasbefore, I'm acting more feminine
and I am masculine.
Well, it creates a mask andthen that trauma shows up again.
All of a sudden, another maskcomes on from something else.
The good thing is these maskscan be taken off by going back
and reevaluating, relooking anddealing with what was going on
(25:06):
at the time and once again thatprocess of when's the last time
and just keep walking it backuntil you find the first time it
actually happened, and that'sthe easiest way I've found to
deal with some of the trauma.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Can I add something to that?
Some of the trauma, can I addsomething to that?
Absolutely, healing is soimportant, and so what I want to
share is not everybody's in aposition where they're having a
conversation with the otherindividual, so maybe you're in a
relationship but you're nottalking right now, or you're
(25:42):
temporarily separated, or one'saway, one's deployed, one's home
, like.
There's some different dynamics.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Or they've passed on.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Or they've passed on.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah, great point, Robert.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Thank you my king, that's why I'm married to him
and it's called the Haponoponoprayer and some people have
heard it.
And Dr Len healed a criminallyinsane ward.
Actually, he started with award and worked the whole
(26:26):
facility and healing the wholefacility by healing himself with
the patient's file.
So what he did this is nointeraction with any of the
patients.
He had all their files set outon his desk and he would go one
by one and the way theHo'oponopono prayer is said is
I'm sorry, please forgive me, Ilove you, thank you.
(26:49):
And so he would literally healhimself.
He would read those filesrelate to that individual and
heal himself in how he perceivedthat individual.
And just by doing that over andover again with every patient,
that facility then became themost like.
(27:13):
Everyone turned around in itand I was like by the power of
the prayer, the Hoponoponoprayer.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I've never heard this story.
I know the prayer.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I've never heard this .
So there's three mindsets.
There's the emotional, themental and the spiritual mind
that all make up the physicalmind, the physical body.
So if you heal all three ofthose, you're healing your
physical body.
So it's just like phenomenal.
(27:48):
So you could anybody that youare in disconnect with or not
talking or have disagreementswith or words unle left, said
this is the most phenomenalhealing.
And so, circling back around toyou know, sometimes you don't
(28:10):
feel like you're at fault.
When I'm at, when I feel likeI'm not at fault and I'm like
somebody's got to go first, Ijust look at him and I will say
I'm sorry, please forgive me, Ilove you, thank you.
That little bit, I'll tell you,gives me the goosebumps.
(28:35):
Just saying it heals.
We both get emotional, yeah.
So imagine what you could dofor the relationships in your
life.
Yeah absolutely and.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Susan and I use it as well.
It's absolutely just phenomenal.
And can I just add to it just alittle bit more when you're
first starting to do it andyou're not used to it, repeat it
a couple of times to the person, looking at themselves, looking
them in the eyes, becausesometimes it takes a minute for
the softening to happen.
That is something we found inthe beginning, but absolutely
(29:06):
phenomenal.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
God, I love you brought that up.
We do it three times to eachother.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Oh, got it yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Three times to Robert and he'll do it three times to
me.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I think we did that in the beginning and then we, we
literally the softeninghappened quickly and we didn't
need to do it as many times.
But yeah, fantastic, absolutelyfantastic, absolutely love it.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
For our veterans that their battle buddy got killed
in combat or they've got somesort of trauma around one of
their friends something happenedto that's no longer with us.
They can do that prayer withtheir spirit and it will loosen
(29:50):
that mask and loosen that trauma.
And it's not going to happen inone time, it's repeatedly.
But you can get over that andtalk about the trauma, Talk
about what happened, Because ifyou don't talk about what
happened it stays buriedAbsolutely.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
You heal what you reveal.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Amen, amen.
Hey guys, we are past timeshocking, I know and we need to
do a four hour and then I canjust separate it later on.
Now, you know, truly I lovedoing the live shows, just
because, um, it's just sogenuine and just real
(30:34):
conversations that come out.
I didn't ask one actualquestion that I prepared, but
that happens all the time, youknow, especially with people
that I know.
Um, it's just great, amazing,organic conversation with
amazing souls.
So, um, with that said, youknow we do own the place.
So is there anything else youguys want to add before we do
some of the closing stuff?
Speaker 3 (30:55):
no no, I think that's enough for now.
I mean, that's a lot to absorbas it is.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
It is.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
So, with that said, how do people reach you?
Go ahead.
They can reach us at ourwebsite.
They can go tomsmcoachinggroupcom, or they can
email us Kathy at, or Robert atmsmcoachinggroupcom.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Fantastic.
So you know I always do this toeverybody.
Can you give us three tips toget veterans and their families
further faster?
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Absolutely.
I think we're just going to goover the tools today.
You can either do the hop.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
We call the Ho'oponopono prayer, the hop for
short, you can have a covenantconversation with your
significant other, and you caneven do it with your family
members.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
And the third thing is we do something, a modified
of the Sedona method, so you cando this Sedona method, which is
basically, you know, can youjust sit with that feeling it's
just walking through a releasingproblem or releasing trauma,
like recognize the trauma.
Can I sit with it, not make itright or wrong.
(32:13):
Can I just sit with it.
Can I allow it to be there foras long as it needs to be there?
You just sit with that for aslong as you can.
Once you can, it's like awesome.
If I choose to, can I let it go, Because we have the power of
will, and then, if I choose tolet it go, then when would now
(32:35):
be a good time to let it go?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Love it, absolutely love it.
Thank you guys for sharingeverything, as always, and you
know I love having you guys onhere.
Love, love, love having youguys on here, especially
together, I love you separately.
Love you guys together even moreon the show.
So I just you know, as always,time is the most valuable
resource we have as human beings.
We do not get it back.
Thank you so much for spendinga few minutes of your life with
us creating the ripple effect.
Of course, we always know thatturns into a tsunami for good.
(33:02):
So love you guys being on here.
Can't wait for the next time.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, we love you too.
Love you too.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Our pleasure.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
All right, we're out of here.
Thank you for joining us onanother insightful journey of
your Thoughts your Realitypodcast with your host, michael
Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you.
To dive deeper into empoweringyour thoughts and enhancing your
reality, visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
(33:31):
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways ofpost-deployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
So we have one of my, a coupleof my favorites, I should say,
People on today.
We have what was that yourfavorite?
There you go.
Now, Robert, I love you too.
Now let's get serious, Geez.
So I have Kathy and RobertCastile on.
(01:09):
They've been on multiple times.
They always 54 years over 54years combined of military
experience.
They specialize in helpingindividuals release false
(01:31):
beliefs and break generationalcycles to rediscover their
authentic selves, which isamazing and super important.
Their work emphasizes healthy,collaborative strategies for
healing trauma within intimaterelationships as well, and
that's what we're going to kindof get into today.
So people that aren't familiarwith you yet, haven't seen you
on here I don't know how manytimes, Tell us a little bit more
(01:52):
about yourself, please, you goahead.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So I spent over 30 years in the military, over 15
years in corporate America.
I met my husband late in lifeand when I met him, I had a
whole bunch of stuff that Ihadn't dealt with.
So they say, hurt people, hurtpeople.
So I didn't really know how tolive my best life with my
(02:17):
husband and I knew that's what Iwanted, and so I got introduced
to self-development in 2013 andit just lit a fire, and so I
got introduced toself-development in 2013 and it
just lit a fire yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Fantastic.
How about you, robert?
So I spent almost 24 years inthe Army.
While I was in the service Iwas married twice, divorced
twice, and then I met Kathyafter I retired and our growth
(02:52):
from the time we met to today isso magnificent.
It's been life-changing andit's just getting into personal
development and then finding ourcommunity of warriors and
queens and getting into thatcommunity, our growth in
relationship is justspringboarded.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
And I want to say you know, warriors and Queens is
fantastic.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Dave and Yvette, you know, amen.
So what?
What?
How do I say this?
So, as far as you know, we'retalking about trauma and healing
together today, right, so let's, if we can.
You know, you guys are always,you know, fantastic and share
vulnerabilities and that kind ofthing, can you know, you guys
are always, you know, fantasticand share vulnerabilities and
that kind of thing.
And I think, especially as acouple, you know, we don't get a
lot of couples that come on todo this with us.
(03:34):
So I, you know, this is a treatfor us.
So everybody, you know, reallyjust dive into this and take
notes all that fun stuff, if youwill, because these two amazing
souls are just some of myfavorites.
So let's dive in if we can Doesthat sound good guys, Absolutely
.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
If I may share one thing before we get started.
You know me and my husband hada great relationship and I use
that word great.
We had a great relationshipbefore we started diving and
being intentional on ourmarriage.
The only thing that improves iswhat you're intentional on.
So we became intentional onimproving our marriage.
(04:11):
So we went from having a greatmarriage to now having a
passionate marriage where I nowhave my husband's devotion,
which just is over the moon forme.
So I just want to share that,which just is over the moon for
me.
So I just want to share that,like what you're, as Robert,
shared.
What we are now is not what wewere when we got married.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And what's possible if you're willing to put some
intention into it.
Absolutely love that you saythat Because that's what it's
all about.
Right, because if you don't putthat intent, you know my wife
says talks about, you know,people being roommates, you know
, more than passionate and inlove with each other, and you
know, I don't care if it's beenthree years or 50.
(04:58):
If you put that intent in there,like you said, it changes the
game.
So let's talk about that firstbefore we start diving into
trauma, if we can.
So what are some of the toolsthat you would give veterans and
their families that you guyshave used personally to just
reconnect, so that I know peoplethat haven't seen you on here
(05:20):
yet.
I kind of want to get a playingfield, if you will, on kind of
what Warriors and Queens andwhat you will, on kind of what
Warriors and Queens and what youguys, of course, coach people
on.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
So let's start with when you have a disagreement
with your significant other oryour partner.
Typically, what happens is forKathy and I.
What I would do when we wouldhave a disagreement is I would
get mad with what was going onand I would walk off.
I'd go downstairs to cool offor whatever the case may be, or
(05:53):
take a baseball bat and whack upagainst a tree or something
like that Something to get thefrustration out and then come
back later and talk about whatwas going on.
At no point in there would Iown up to anything I did, and I
wasn't really cleaning my sideof the street up.
(06:14):
So one of the first things istake ownership for your actions
and clean up that side of yourstreet.
You can't clean up yoursignificant others and you can't
clean up anybody else's.
It starts with you.
I don't know Kathy hadsomething she wanted to add into
(06:37):
that too.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
So there are times that me and Robert have had
disagreements that I don't feellike I didn't contribute
anything to that.
I'm not apologizing because Ididn't do anything wrong.
And two things on that.
One, my mom used to always sayit takes two to tango.
(06:59):
So whether you think youcontributed to that or not, we
all had a small play in the part.
And the other part is do youwant to live in that energy?
You know, sometimes I don'tfeel it's my fault and somebody
has to go first.
So I can either live in thatenergy or I can choose to be the
(07:23):
one that steps up this time andgoes first.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, I love.
I love what you just said First, before I even go there, though
.
How many bats did you break,robert?
It was a little bit of a bat,so it didn't break.
Would have felt better if itbroke, right.
Yeah, instead of vibrating upyour hands.
But, it was probably just thatreminder of is this really worth
(07:47):
it?
Exactly so, kathy, with whatyou said, someone needs to go
first take responsibility tosome extent.
I mean, again, it takes two,and I agree 100%, because
usually it's something and thensomebody takes offense for
whatever reason or is hurt by itreally, and sometimes you don't
(08:08):
even know, especially as a man.
It's like what, what did I do?
So let's dive into that alittle bit.
What are some of the thingsthat you would say you should be
looking out for or noticeduring that conversation,
especially if you are the onethat was hurt or offended or
whatever the case may be, tomaybe control that or something.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Actually, michael, I would love to turn it over,
because he had an aware, whilewe had an awareness together and
I, if you would like to share,I think that would be great from
perspective, if you would like.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Absolutely Anybody, please, yes.
So when we would get in adisagreement that I would get
angry, I'd get frustrated atsomething that she said and it's
usually somewhere along thelines of communication and
understanding what implied andliteral communication is.
(09:07):
I would say something I am aliteral communicator.
Hey, go pick up this stone.
Sometimes Kathy would implysomething in there and she would
(09:30):
imply that I said that she's assmart as a stone.
Just an example.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
When she did that, it was like when have I ever said
that to you?
May I share the real storybehind that?
So he's giving an example.
I'll give you the real deal.
So I am an applied communicator, which means you should know
what I'm saying by.
What I'm saying versus whatRobert says is literal, With the
exception of some.
(09:59):
When he gets into energy poor,I have to stay on my toes
because that's what creates somedynamics as well, as he
switches to an impliedcommunicator.
Like you're literal, like allthe other times like and now I'm
supposed to know that you'reshifting to an implied
communicator.
So, basically, he had saidsomething and I don't remember
(10:21):
the exact verbiage.
What I heard in my head is areyou a freaking idiot?
Can you not see this?
That went over well, Not wellat all.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
After a while I was like, when I got the story out
of her, what she thought, and Ijust basically asked her when
have I ever said that to you?
And that's when we figured outabout the implied and literal
communication.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
And I must have been really triggered on my not
enoughness, because, I mean,he's never said that to me.
I heard that.
So I must have been triggeredabout something or feeling not
enough about something.
So that was just my unconsciousmind saying oh, let me validate
this not enoughness for you, sowe'll throw that in there and
(11:20):
that's's what you see.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Let me make you really feel this as your partner
.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Only thing your partner's doing is holding up a
mirror and reflecting whatyou're seeing.
In other words, if you're notfeeling enough, it's a mirror
looking back at you.
It's not something the otherperson's doing.
The other person is just makingsounds or doing some sort of
(11:53):
action.
You're the one that'sinterpreting it as I'm not
enough.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Yeah, and I think we do that as human beings a lot.
Our thoughts, unfortunately,are more negative than positive
for the average person.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We've had a lot of people on here.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
We talk about it a lot, about how you know your
thoughts are taking you down aroad that isn't true at all and
and 99% of the time, is nevergoing to come to fruition.
So it's it's very interestinghow our mind does that.
So let's, let's dive intotrauma a little bit.
Let's you guys have anythingelse on this that you want to
just dive into more, becauseit's really great stuff, by the
(12:37):
way, guys.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Yeah, one of the things I would do is I would
walk off when Kathy, when wewere having a disagreement, I'd
just walk off.
I'd go in the shed or go outback, whatever the case may be,
and not understanding what wasgoing on.
A woman's safety center isthree times larger than a man
(13:07):
and they will feel unsafemultiple times a day where men,
just they don't feel it.
They may be only a few times intheir life, depending upon
their jobs.
What we learned is through ourwork is, if I reinsure Kathy,
hey look, I've got to go cooloff, I'm going to walk away for
a bit, I will be back.
That makes her feel safe andsecure and it don't violate her
(13:29):
safety center.
You got something you want toadd to?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
that, just from a woman's perspective, a couple
things.
One, he could say he loves me amillion times a day Still
doesn't quiet the voice thatmaybe this time he'll leave day
(13:52):
softens that voice just a littlebit, and I'm not going to say
that even when he tells me like,hey, I'm gonna go downstairs,
cool off, I'll be back, I'm notgoing anywhere, I still love you
, we're still gonna stay married, doesn't mean that I still
don't feel a little unsettledinside, because I don't like
conflict between the two of us,right.
(14:13):
That being said.
Said, though, it's a lot morequiet than the raging voice I
used to hear.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah.
And that absolutely makes senseand I'm really glad you guys
brought this up because it is soimportant for that little
communication right Of saying,hey, I love you, I'm going to be
right, I'm going to be back, Ineed a minute for myself.
I just need to get myself rightso we can have this
conversation the right way andnot the way it's heading now.
(14:42):
And that is a game changer forthose spin cycles.
If you will, you know where ourminds just go crazy and you
know because if you don't stepaway and you guys know your
patterns if you don't step away,things are just going to get
worse and worse and worse andthings are just going to be said
that no one really means, orjust hurtful and so on, that a
(15:05):
lot of times you don't reallycome back from because those
things do stack.
So I love that you brought thatup.
I really do.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It makes a difference when you come from a place we
call it human instinct or humanspirit.
There's a difference in thetype of conversation that you
have, the quality of theconversation that you have when
you're coming from humaninstinct at each other and human
spirit.
So we have a tool on that.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Can you explain that some more?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Absolutely so.
Human instinct is that's yourfight or flight.
That means like I have to gokill the deer because I get to
feed my family.
That means my life is on theline.
No, I have not known anyintelligent, respectful
(15:59):
conversations come about whenwe're in fight or flight,
because it's all aboutprotection, whereas human spirit
that's when we're open topossibility, we're open to
different thoughts.
You're in an energy at leastenergy neutral to energy rich
state, so you can see otherperspectives and maybe see where
(16:22):
you played a role in it, versusjust, you know, going straight
after the jugular.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah, and I think, I think it's super
important.
Please, robert, you're going tosay something.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
So my hallucination is that for the veterans that
have seen combat, that humaninstinct was driven so deep
about the actions that they hadin that situation that they're
in a constant loop and theycan't get out of that trauma to
(16:54):
grow their life, to better theirlives.
So a lot of them that sufferfrom PTSD is a constant trauma
that keeps replaying for themand it comes I honestly believe
it actually comes from thathuman instinct being driven so
deep, so hard in that situationthat they can't fight out of it.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yeah, and there's a portion of our brain where it
literally gets stuck wherenormal bad things that happen.
It goes around and releases andwhat happens is it gets stuck
in there until they, in myopinion, create new belief
systems about the situation andwhat happened, and that's when
it gets released and that's whatI've seen.
But until then it sits thereand then we keep thinking about
(17:39):
it.
The trauma happened oncegenerally, but it's the repeated
thinking of it that createsthat trauma that just keeps
going and going and going thatthey can't escape if you will.
So I'm glad you brought uptrauma, because that takes us to
our next section.
So in relationships, and thankyou, rob, for bringing that up,
because it's takes us to ournext section.
So so in relationships, andthank you, robert, for bringing
that up because it's superimportant that people understand
(18:01):
that with, with withrelationships and couples.
And again, I love when you guysare on because we get to, we
get to really do this, so withwith a trauma, and you guys can,
if you will, bring up somethingfrom yourselves or just
something you know out of, youknow just thoughts.
What is a trauma and how issome of the best ways to kind of
(18:23):
bring up?
Hey, I'm dealing with the traumabecause we know, you know,
veterans are conditioned man todeal with it on their own.
You know work through it, don'task for help, all these things.
And of course, you know workthrough it, don't ask for help,
all these things.
And of course, we know the mostcourageous thing we can do is
actually ask for help.
So, where, where?
Give me some thoughts on whereto start?
(18:44):
Where, where would you suggest?
Hey, man, I'm really dealingwith something.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And I just I need to talk to somebody, give me some
thoughts.
Do you have that realization?
For myself, to deal with thetraumas I had, I had to start
with asking myself if it's arepeat trauma.
For instance, like I said whenI first started, I've been
married twice.
There's some relationshiptrauma in there from both those
marriages.
And when Kathy and I werehaving challenges, we had to go
(19:25):
back and when's the first timethat happened?
When's the last time thathappened?
And just start walking it back.
I might not remember the firsttime, but I can remember the
last time.
I might not remember the firsttime, but I can remember the
last time.
And then I can start diggingback and keep going back in time
until I find that first timeand look at the situation that
was going on and what triggeredthat, and then ask questions
(19:51):
what did I contribute and couldI have done anything differently
?
And clean my side of the streetup?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, yeah, I love that you said that, especially
the part about how the last timeand going back and a lot of
times these traumas were fromchildhood that actually come up
later on that you don't evenrealize are there, right?
You know, there's times Susanand I will be talking and we'll
(20:22):
just start talking aboutsomething and we'll have these
realizations of years and yearsand years ago, something that
happened to us that we still aredealing with.
So I love that you brought thatup, that you start with the
last one and work backwards.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Love that, Robert brought that up, that you start
with the last one and workbackwards.
Love that, robert.
Most of our traumas occur whenwe're zero to eight years old,
like that's when we're buildingour belief systems, and so by
going back you can look with theolder, wiser self and look at
it.
Did it really happen that way?
It was it because one of thethings so I'll share something
(20:56):
I'm working through right now mydad was not the best dad in the
world.
He had his own challenges.
I truly believe a lot of it wasgenerational and this whole not
being good enough.
As we discussed a little bitearlier today.
(21:17):
That's been a hot topic for melately.
My dad treated his stepchildrenbetter than he treated his own
kids.
Like he wanted to spend timewith his stepkids, you know, got
them things they needed, didn'tgo out of his way to come and
see us, and so here I did allthis healing on my dad and, and
(21:38):
you know, through many differenttools, and I'm like I'm good
when it comes to my dad, andthen all of a sudden, something
came up and it came back to thatand I'm like, here we go again.
Okay, maybe I haven't healedeverything around my dad.
So I say that to say that thosetraumas that happened during
those times different layers,different, like there were so
(22:01):
many interactions you had fromzero to eight that you created
file systems on and that youbelieved unconsciously that that
meant something.
So by going back and andrevisiting it, as as Robert said
, and and looking at it from adifferent perspective, you can
(22:22):
now heal that part of you andhave a conversation around it
and heal your side street, comeback like after healing yourself
, and then come back and sharethe story.
There's a great tool called thecovenant conversation, and I
won't go into too much detail.
If anyone wants to know moreabout it, reach out to us or to
(22:46):
Michael and I'll be more thanhappy.
It's being able to have aconversation with your spouse or
significant other with zerojudgment, bringing up things
that happened as a child, thatyou maybe had guilt and shame
about, or whatever.
You start it under the umbrellaof your covenant relationship
(23:08):
through a prayer, agree thatboth parties agree that it's
going to be a judgment-free zone.
The other person doesn't speaktill the other person's done,
and then it's not an opportunityto defend yourself, it's just
an opportunity for you to hearfrom someone's heart and
whatever shared in thatconversation cannot be used at
(23:31):
all ever.
You've all agreed that it willnever be used against you.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Absolutely, absolutely love it.
You know there's, there's thoseare the deepest, most healing
conversations for both people,in my opinion okay, just my
opinion, because who doesn'twant to be there for the other
one they love and when they canbe, and it's non-judgmental,
it's a free zone if you will,and you just become closer.
(24:00):
Just become closer.
I really love that, and anybodywanting more information please
reach out because literally, itis one of the best things in a
relationship there is just to goand be able to speak your true
heart and be your authentic self.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
So Robert, you're going to say something.
Yeah, so a lot of the traumas wehave.
They create masks and as we putthem on and say, kathy and I
have a fight and then all of asudden I feel belittled or
whatever the case may be, all ofa sudden I throw a mask on and
(24:41):
I'm not acting the way I wasbefore, I'm acting more feminine
and I am masculine.
Well, it creates a mask andthen that trauma shows up again.
All of a sudden, another maskcomes on from something else.
The good thing is these maskscan be taken off by going back
and reevaluating, relooking anddealing with what was going on
(25:06):
at the time and once again thatprocess of when's the last time
and just keep walking it backuntil you find the first time it
actually happened, and that'sthe easiest way I've found to
deal with some of the trauma.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Can I add something to that?
Some of the trauma, can I addsomething to that?
Absolutely, healing is soimportant, and so what I want to
share is not everybody's in aposition where they're having a
conversation with the otherindividual, so maybe you're in a
relationship but you're nottalking right now, or you're
(25:42):
temporarily separated, or one'saway, one's deployed, one's home
, like.
There's some different dynamics.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Or they've passed on.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Or they've passed on.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah, great point, Robert.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Thank you my king, that's why I'm married to him
and it's called the Haponoponoprayer and some people have
heard it.
And Dr Len healed a criminallyinsane ward.
Actually, he started with award and worked the whole
(26:26):
facility and healing the wholefacility by healing himself with
the patient's file.
So what he did this is nointeraction with any of the
patients.
He had all their files set outon his desk and he would go one
by one and the way theHo'oponopono prayer is said is
I'm sorry, please forgive me, Ilove you, thank you.
(26:49):
And so he would literally healhimself.
He would read those filesrelate to that individual and
heal himself in how he perceivedthat individual.
And just by doing that over andover again with every patient,
that facility then became themost like.
(27:13):
Everyone turned around in itand I was like by the power of
the prayer, the Hoponoponoprayer.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I've never heard this story.
I know the prayer.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I've never heard this .
So there's three mindsets.
There's the emotional, themental and the spiritual mind
that all make up the physicalmind, the physical body.
So if you heal all three ofthose, you're healing your
physical body.
So it's just like phenomenal.
(27:48):
So you could anybody that youare in disconnect with or not
talking or have disagreementswith or words unle left, said
this is the most phenomenalhealing.
And so, circling back around toyou know, sometimes you don't
(28:10):
feel like you're at fault.
When I'm at, when I feel likeI'm not at fault and I'm like
somebody's got to go first, Ijust look at him and I will say
I'm sorry, please forgive me, Ilove you, thank you.
That little bit, I'll tell you,gives me the goosebumps.
(28:35):
Just saying it heals.
We both get emotional, yeah.
So imagine what you could dofor the relationships in your
life.
Yeah absolutely and.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Susan and I use it as well.
It's absolutely just phenomenal.
And can I just add to it just alittle bit more when you're
first starting to do it andyou're not used to it, repeat it
a couple of times to the person, looking at themselves, looking
them in the eyes, becausesometimes it takes a minute for
the softening to happen.
That is something we found inthe beginning, but absolutely
(29:06):
phenomenal.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
God, I love you brought that up.
We do it three times to eachother.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Oh, got it yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Three times to Robert and he'll do it three times to
me.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I think we did that in the beginning and then we, we
literally the softeninghappened quickly and we didn't
need to do it as many times.
But yeah, fantastic, absolutelyfantastic, absolutely love it.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
For our veterans that their battle buddy got killed
in combat or they've got somesort of trauma around one of
their friends something happenedto that's no longer with us.
They can do that prayer withtheir spirit and it will loosen
(29:50):
that mask and loosen that trauma.
And it's not going to happen inone time, it's repeatedly.
But you can get over that andtalk about the trauma, Talk
about what happened, Because ifyou don't talk about what
happened it stays buriedAbsolutely.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
You heal what you reveal.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Amen, amen.
Hey guys, we are past timeshocking, I know and we need to
do a four hour and then I canjust separate it later on.
Now, you know, truly I lovedoing the live shows, just
because, um, it's just sogenuine and just real
(30:34):
conversations that come out.
I didn't ask one actualquestion that I prepared, but
that happens all the time, youknow, especially with people
that I know.
Um, it's just great, amazing,organic conversation with
amazing souls.
So, um, with that said, youknow we do own the place.
So is there anything else youguys want to add before we do
some of the closing stuff?
Speaker 3 (30:55):
no no, I think that's enough for now.
I mean, that's a lot to absorbas it is.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
It is.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
So, with that said, how do people reach you?
Go ahead.
They can reach us at ourwebsite.
They can go tomsmcoachinggroupcom, or they can
email us Kathy at, or Robert atmsmcoachinggroupcom.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Fantastic.
So you know I always do this toeverybody.
Can you give us three tips toget veterans and their families
further faster?
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Absolutely.
I think we're just going to goover the tools today.
You can either do the hop.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
We call the Ho'oponopono prayer, the hop for
short, you can have a covenantconversation with your
significant other, and you caneven do it with your family
members.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
And the third thing is we do something, a modified
of the Sedona method, so you cando this Sedona method, which is
basically, you know, can youjust sit with that feeling it's
just walking through a releasingproblem or releasing trauma,
like recognize the trauma.
Can I sit with it, not make itright or wrong.
(32:13):
Can I just sit with it.
Can I allow it to be there foras long as it needs to be there?
You just sit with that for aslong as you can.
Once you can, it's like awesome.
If I choose to, can I let it go, Because we have the power of
will, and then, if I choose tolet it go, then when would now
(32:35):
be a good time to let it go?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Love it, absolutely love it.
Thank you guys for sharingeverything, as always, and you
know I love having you guys onhere.
Love, love, love having youguys on here, especially
together, I love you separately.
Love you guys together even moreon the show.
So I just you know, as always,time is the most valuable
resource we have as human beings.
We do not get it back.
Thank you so much for spendinga few minutes of your life with
us creating the ripple effect.
Of course, we always know thatturns into a tsunami for good.
(33:02):
So love you guys being on here.
Can't wait for the next time.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, we love you too.
Love you too.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Our pleasure.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
All right, we're out of here.
Thank you for joining us onanother insightful journey of
your Thoughts your Realitypodcast with your host, michael
Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you.
To dive deeper into empoweringyour thoughts and enhancing your
reality, visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
(33:31):
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
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