April 16, 2025 • 36 mins
Dianna Sullivan takes us on a profound journey through trauma healing, sharing how unresolved past experiences subtly yet powerfully shape our present reality. As a shamanic healer, Reiki practitioner, and successful entrepreneur who sold her company for $2.5 million to pursue her passion for helping others heal, Dianna brings unique insight into breaking free from limiting patterns.
The conversation reveals powerful indicators that your past might be controlling your present—anxiety, reactivity, mental "spin cycles," and disconnection from joy serve as warning signs that something deeper needs addressing. Dianna explains that what we resist persists, and our attempts to block painful emotions inadvertently block positive ones too. This awareness opens the door to intentional healing.
Dianna shares practical, accessible techniques anyone can implement immediately. Box breathing, walking in nature, grounding practices, and prioritizing fun create space for healing. The STOP technique—feeling negative emotions purposefully, interrupting the pattern, and replacing with positive affirmation—provides a concrete method for rewiring neural pathways and weakening trauma's hold.
Perhaps most transformative is Dianna's perspective on reframing trauma. "Can I see how this trauma was somehow good in my life?" she asks. This powerful shift doesn't minimize suffering but honors how it shapes us into who we are today. Self-forgiveness emerges as the cornerstone of healing, suggesting we tell ourselves: "I was doing the best I could for who I was at the time."
Ready to transform your relationship with past trauma? Dianna's three keys—gentleness with yourself, letting go of judgment, and celebrating even tiny wins—create the foundation for moving from survival to truly thriving. Your past doesn't have to define your future.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways ofpost-deployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hello, hello, hello everybody, hey.
So today, you know, diane and Ihave been trying to do this for
a little bit and magnificencehas happened and we're here, so
I'm super excited.
So Diana Sullivan specializesin energy healing modalities
such as shamanic healing, reikiand access bars, guiding
(01:10):
individuals through deepemotional and spiritual healing.
She has helped people launchbusinesses, attract soulmates
and achieve physical healing byaddressing the root causes of
their struggles, which is soimportant.
She unlocks new possibilities,releasing energetic blockages
that may be holding them back inrelationships, health and,
especially, financial success.
(01:30):
She has years of experienceteaching how unresolved past
traumas this is what we're goingto talk about today can subtly
yet powerfully affect everyaspect of life.
And she's just a rock star.
Let's just call it what it is,shall we?
So, diana, why don't you tell alittle bit more about yourself
that people that don't know youSure.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Thank you, michael, I'm honored to be here.
Thanks so much for having me,and I love that we stuck with it
and we got to today, so that'sperfect Amen.
As you mentioned a lot ofthings already, so I'm trained
in different healing modalities.
I also have been a single momsince my kids were one and three
, who has been a business personin the background.
(02:13):
So I had a successful appraisalmanagement company that I ran
for 15 years and sold thatbecause in the background I was
working on these healing, thehealing modalities and coaching
and different things and thatbecame my passion.
So I sold my company a year anda half ago for two and a half
million dollars, which was quitefun and all of that.
(02:34):
And now I get to do what I love, which is help people.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That's fantastic and you know your story.
Your story is very cool becauseof the success and how you help
people.
I really you know, when youwere talking about it before and
I think it was with Carolyn aswell they were just talking
about it with you, carolyn Azunawe're in the same group, guys,
just so you know what I'mtalking about as well as with
(02:58):
the Neuron Coding Institute.
So you know it's just reallycool how you change that.
You know what you're doing intowhat you do now.
So will you talk a little bitmore about you know what started
you down the path, if you will,into what you love, and you
know what you're doing nowno-transcript attract things
(03:50):
that are fun and delicious andyummy and all of the things.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
So that's where it began.
It began because of somethingthat was really crappy.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable
.
Obviously it's so interestinghow, when we get into a bad
place whether it be emotionally,psychologically, physically,
you know burnout, whatever it is, and we are like enough.
And it's weird how then we'regonna talk about it obviously,
(04:24):
how the new thing gets attractedto you when you say enough and
you create that leverage foryourself and I want something
different.
And then here you are right.
I mean, isn't it's?
It's really beautiful.
You know, for me, um, you know,I've had that multiple times in
my my many years, if I wantedto go back, right, but if you
know, if we hadn't been in theplace with our construction
(04:46):
company saying you know what,this isn't doing it for us
anymore and let's, you know, I'mjust done after 53 years of
being in the same industry, Iwouldn't have enjoyed the Neuron
Coding Institute and I wouldn'tbe here with you right now.
So it's really magical and Iwould.
When, at the time, most peoplethink you know my life's ending
right, we go to all of thishorrible stuff and what can be
(05:12):
birthed out of that, the gifts,it's really beautiful.
So, with that said, before wereally get started, top
right-hand corner of the screenthere's a blue QR code.
Please scan that QR code.
It takes you toempowerperformancestrategiescom,
for people listening on thepodcast forums later Again
empowerperformancestrategiescom.
There are eBooks, freeresources that I've written.
(05:34):
There are Facebook groups forboth veterans and their families
, there's trainings, there's allkinds of stuff and, of course,
other episodes of the podcast.
So check it out, be part of thecommunity and, um, be part of
the mission.
So, with that said, um, let's.
Let me start with what kind um.
(06:02):
Your sound isn't coming throughclear okay, Okay, let me try
that again.
Is it better?
Now it is, thank you.
I live in the foothills, sosometimes my internet gets a
little wonky.
You're like I don't know whathe just said.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I was going to try to wing it, but I thought I'd ask
that's all good.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
What sign should someone be looking for that
indicate their past is stillshaping their present, whether
that be trauma or just thoughts?
Whatever the case may be, let'sreally start there, because I
think that's kind of thebeginning of the healing right.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, really, just taking an honest look at
yourself, do you feel peacefuland calm?
Are you anxious?
Do you have anxiety?
Are you able to respond asopposed to react when situations
happen?
Are you self-aware, which youknow, we're all.
We're not really taughtself-awareness, so it is a
(06:54):
challenging thing.
I mean, I even find I've beendoing these things for 10 years
and sometimes I'm like, oh mygosh, I had massive anxiety and
I didn't even realize I had it.
You know, it just masks itselfin certain ways.
But, you know, is your lifereally working?
Is it?
Do you?
You know?
Are you, are you getting thethings that you desire and that
(07:15):
you want?
You know, or are you kind ofstressed out?
Are you able to be present andbe in the present moment, or are
you always somewhere else inyour head?
You?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
love that.
You said that.
Let's kind of dive into thatand I call it the spin cycle,
right?
And a lot of times we justdon't even realize we're there
and someone will say, hey, whatwas up with you yesterday?
Or whatever the case may be,and this literally just happened
recently.
So when you're in that spincycle or you know in your
(07:47):
thoughts, in your head, andyou're like you're- saying right
now being unresourceful.
What are some of the?
I know my neuron coding tricksand I know you know Tony Robbins
stuff and all those differentthings.
But what do you suggest topeople to say, hey, you know
what, you can snap out of it andlive your best life if you will
.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I think one of the big things is really to just
number one have the intention.
You know we have to beintentional about it or we don't
do it.
You know we can get lost and wemask it.
You know our egos are prettygood at hiding it and masking it
.
So if you're busy being busy,and you're just too busy and you
can't take a minute, and you'retoo busy and you're too, you
(08:28):
know it's that, stop.
That's the first thing you cando is stop.
Create some intentionalityabout.
You know I'm going to slow down.
You know I'm going to slow down.
I don't have to do all of thethings and they don't all need
to get done, you know,immediately.
And it doesn't have to beperfect either.
(08:51):
You know, a lot of times peopleare striving for perfection and
it's not something that existsand they feel like they're
really I don't remember.
I want to say it was JosephMcClendon III who said if you're
striving for perfection, you'relike at a really low vibration.
You know that sounds more likesomething Carolyn said.
I'm not sure, but you know,when you're striving for that it
is.
It's a low vibration becauseit's something that's
(09:12):
unattainable, you know.
So instead, let go of that ideaof perfection.
Let go of the busyness and juststop.
Create some intentionality.
You know what I love my family.
I love my children.
So maybe it's more time formore important for me to sit
down and just hang out with themtonight than it is to clean the
bathroom or the house or, youknow, whatever it is that you
(09:34):
had and I love that.
And you know, when we're doingthose things we're just, we're
just blocking.
You know, a lot of the timeswe're blocking feelings that we
don't want to feel.
You can't block the the good,you can't block the good bad
stuff and have the good stuff.
You're either blocking all ofit or you're blocking none of it
.
You know.
So if there's feelings you'reavoiding by being busy, you know
(09:55):
once you do stop, some of thatstuff's going to come up and you
get to greet it with love andcare.
You know and love all of thoseparts of yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I love that you say that I want to talk more about
that.
Look, the questions are alreadyout the door.
Just organic conversations withmy curiosity, welcome.
So when you're having that andit could be your body, you know
feeling worn out and you knowyou're not listening to it, or
family, or whatever the case maybe, what are some some things
that?
Okay, hey, I realizedsomething's not right.
(10:29):
I'm anxious, I'm feeling pissedoff, I'm in the spin cycle, I
can't get out of it.
What are some of the fastestways that you can think of to to
snap people out of it so theycan get back on track and take
that break and get you knowwhat's important to them back?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
in their life.
Breathwork, of course, would bethe first thing and it's the
easiest because you can do it nomatter where you are, you know
if people aren't familiar.
Box breathing, I think is oneof the easiest you know.
Count to four, going in throughyour nose, hold it for four,
four out, hold that, and thenyou picture it as a box as you
(11:06):
go through.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, and I just learned about through that from
Gary Brekka.
I did not know about it untilthen.
Really, yeah, it's a great one.
It's a great one because you'refocusing on something else.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Right, right, yeah, it brings your focus because I
could tell you to meditate.
But if you've not meditatedbefore, this idea of or even if
you have, sometimes it's hard tothis idea of quieting your mind
just doesn't work right.
So that's the easiest.
The next thing, that's probablymy favorite, is to go for a
walk.
You know, when you walk itactually it helps to process
(11:41):
through the things that arestuck in there.
You know it just automaticallyworks to process through the
things that are stuck in there.
You know it just automaticallyworks to process.
And if you can be around, youknow, in nature I live on 34
acres, so I get to go out andwalk around here every day and
it's just beautiful.
And I mean, for me, I love totouch the trees and feel the
energy of the trees.
And you know some people thinkthat's weird and if that's weird
(12:01):
for you you don't have to dothat, you know.
But just being around them isreally helpful too, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
So getting out and walking, yeah, I love that
Because anytime you have anyphysical exercises, mentally
you're going to come out of itin a better state.
It releases hormones and allthat fun stuff.
So you know feeling the trees,that kind of stuff.
So let me go back two steps.
I get it Okay.
(12:28):
First of all, I get it becausehow often I don't do it enough,
but I do do it.
In fact I did it a couple ofdays ago going outside.
Take your shoes off, put yourfeet in the grass and grounding,
whether that be through yourfeet, through the tree, feeling
that energy, whatever it is.
But how beautiful it is to sitthere for a minute, be
(12:49):
intentional, like you're sayingand I love that you brought that
up and really just be presentthere with yourself and nature
and slow down for a second,whether you're walking or just
grounding, whatever the case maybe, and listen to the birds
around you, the squirrels.
I think I had Aaron Lloyd onhere.
We talked about the turkeys,because if you have turkeys,
we're on property as well, andso you know you have all this
(13:12):
little life going around youwhen you slow down and really
see it, hear it and feel it itreally centers you.
Well, that could be in the citytoo.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I mean, you've got things going around too too, but
when you're not focusing onyourself, you're focusing on
other things, beautiful thingsum, it can be really empowering
right and using all your sensestoo you know, because a lot of
times we just you know, we'rejust looking around so much with
our eyes but you know what doyou hear and what can you touch,
and even the taste of thingssometimes, and you know all of
(13:43):
the things and just taking it in, yeah, yeah, Absolutely love
that and it's, it's.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We don't take enough time to do it.
I mean, I think you could do it24 hours a day and it wouldn't
be enough time.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Right, yeah, you know , and really one of the other
things too is prioritizing fun,you know, prioritizing things
that you enjoy doing.
You know you're not too busy tofind some fun time.
If you are.
You got to realize that if youdo find some fun time, the
things that are busy, they'regoing to go easier and they're
going to go smoother and they'regoing to go faster because
(14:17):
you're going to approach themfrom a different, from a
different energy, from adifferent angle, and it's just
going to I love that you saidthat, because when you do focus
on those positive thingsgratefulness or whatever and
you're doing some of those funthings, it does, it resets you,
it absolutely resets you and theother things will be there.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
But if you're going and doing it in a different
emotional state and differentmindset, maybe you'll even have
fun doing it.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I don't know.
It's a game changer.
You can even make a game andhave fun doing dishes.
You can actually enjoy that.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Give me a game with dishes.
I'm excited to hear this.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I don't know if I have one.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
That just came up Everything can be a game,
something fun, absolutelyplaying with you.
How you stack them, I don'tknow yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It's actually a funny thing in my household, but no
one can stack the dishwasherlike me.
No one can stack the dryingrack, so it has become a little
bit of a competition there yougo, there you go, celebration
being the reward, right yeah.
Yeah, go ahead, you're going tosay something.
Another thing would begratitude, you know, so, having
(15:36):
a gratitude practice, whateverit might be, you could do
gratitude journaling, you can.
I have some friends that wesend each other three things
we're grateful for in text everyday, you know, and it's super
powerful.
And sometimes I'm like, oh, youknow, going about my day and
just kind of, and then I getthat text popping and I'm like,
(15:57):
oh, that's right, I get to begrateful, this person's grateful
for this, and I, oh, I likethat one and I'm going to add,
you know, and all of a suddenI'm just everything shifts, you
know, I love that.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I absolutely love that.
I'll text you in a little while, as soon as we're done.
I'm grateful we did the podcast.
Grateful we did the podcast.
I do love that and having thatcommunity that does the same
things to bring you up in themiddle of the day when you're,
you know, stuck in the normalworld, if you will.
That's powerful.
(16:28):
I love that idea.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely love it.
So let's kind of dive into sometrauma stuff We've got.
We're a little over halfwaydone with the show, so if we can
, let's kind of dive into that.
So you know, as far as trauma,different people have different
aspects or thoughts of whattrauma is.
Will you give us some of yourthoughts on trauma in general?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
You know it's interesting because it could be
something so intense or it couldbe something small, but
sometimes it has just as much ofa lasting effect.
Yeah, you know from someonebeing told they were an accident
because their birth wasn'tplanned.
That can be lifelong and theydon't even realize it but they
never feel like they fit inbecause they were told that.
(17:13):
You know to someoneexperiencing something awful.
You know cancer, things likethat, or people who have been in
war.
You know those.
Those are awful things to haveseen.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, absolutely.
So what are some of the?
And really, trauma is an eventhappened.
It's the definition we gave theevent and that's why we get
stuck in that right and werelive it.
The trauma happened generally.
Once Our remembering itcontinues and continues, and
that's why it's so powerful forus.
(17:50):
So talk about you, know yourthoughts on that first, and then
let's talk about you know waysto mitigate.
Ways to mitigate it, to bringyourself out of it so you can
thrive, instead of trying tosurvive.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I love what you just said too.
That's a huge thing for me isgetting people out of survival
and into thriving.
And I think number one is thatyou have to realize that you
deserve it.
Everyone deserves to thrive anda lot of times, because of
certain things, we don't feellike we deserve that and so and
(18:24):
you know, if you walk into aroom, it's much easier to be
part of a conversation where wecomplain and we don't get what
we want.
You know all of these things,so you have to kind of be
willing to to step outside ofthe norm, and hopefully we make
this the norm at some point.
You know that we're talkingabout wonderful things instead
of instead of the crap.
But you know, when you're, whenyou're in a something where it's
(18:47):
playing over and over, andyou're in that loop, you have to
do something to interrupt thepattern, right.
So our computers, our brains,you know they have this thing
where when we experience thosethings, it keeps going and it
keeps playing and it keepsplaying and it just we get stuck
there.
So how do you get unstuck?
Right?
You have to interrupt thepattern, and I'm sure you
(19:09):
probably talk about the stoptechnique frequently, you know.
So, pattern interrupt.
And then do you want me toshare about the stop technique,
or you know so, patterninterrupt, and then do you do
you want me to share about thestop technique or do you?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You can do the stop technique or any kind of pattern
interrupt just because we'vetalked about it before.
You know not.
I shouldn't say that.
Everybody hasn't seen everyepisode, but there's a
possibility, so please share.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
So if you're, if you're doing the staff technique
, basically you're going to,you're going to feel bad on
purpose.
So whatever that feeling isthat happens for you.
I'm going to use the example ofsomeone falling.
Maybe it's someone who's fallenoff a ladder and they keep it's
replaying, or it's somethingyou saw.
You can go to something you sawin the war, because that's
(19:56):
probably something more that'sprevalent here.
So it just keeps replaying.
So you're going to sit down andyou're going to feel bad on
purpose.
You're going to feel thatfeeling and I know you probably
think I'm nuts right now becauseyou don't want to feel the
feeling.
But that's part of the problem.
The feeling wants to have itsmoment, it wants to be felt and
we keep resisting it and what weresist persists, so it's going
(20:16):
to keep coming up, keep comingup.
So you give it a second and youfeel it.
And then you're going to, onpurpose, feel it and then
pattern interrupt, so youactually say the word stop and
then, if you're sitting, youstand up, you move your body and
you say you could say whateverresonates with you, and maybe
(20:36):
it's I am magnificent and you,just because you want to replace
, you're creating a space, andso you want to replace something
in that space and what you'regoing to replace it with is
something that's wonderful.
So you know, you remindyourself that you're magnificent
, you're wonderful, and maybepart of that whole thing too is
(20:57):
some judgment you have aboutyourself and what you did in
this situation or something.
So that's taking care of thattoo.
And then you sit down and you doit again.
So you do that a good fivetimes and you do it three
different times a day, differentthings.
You know I like to go 10,depends how hard, how hard it's
wired in.
You know, sometimes I'll evengo 10 times.
So you're practicing it, soyou're practicing a pattern
(21:20):
interrupts.
You're practicing feeling goodand at the end, too, we want to
say yes, because you'recelebrating what you just did.
So you can do that multipletimes.
A three times a day is what Ilike to do, and you know you
want to commit to doing this 10days in a row.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I love it and I just want to preface something, if we
can, is it's an exercise and sothe more you do it, the more
you build the muscle.
Just like you've already go tothe gym, you don't go to the gym
one time, come back, come outand say I don't look like Warren
Schwarzenegger, I failed.
Come back, come out and say Idon't look like Lauren
Schwarzenegger, I failed.
You know you have to do theexercise and the more you do it,
(22:00):
the bigger the muscle begins tobuild and the easier it is.
And then what happens at theend?
Well, actually, diana, why?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
don't you tell me why this works.
That's okay.
That's okay.
So you're rewiring your brain.
So when it comes up, when itactually comes up in the moment,
you know you're just drivingdown the road at some average
day and all of a sudden, here itcomes, here's this film that
plays.
That crazy lady said to do thisthing, and I've been doing it,
but it's not helping.
So that's going to happen, andwhen it happens, the thing that
(22:29):
you would notice in that momentwas you caught it, you know.
So, rather than go, why is itcoming up, why isn't it gone yet
?
The first step is going to bethat you're going to catch it.
So now that I'm live in themoment of feeling like crap
cause it's happening, I get todo the stop technique again.
So in the moment and I meanI've done it in the car, when I
have, like, kids in the car andtheir friends, and so in those
(22:51):
moments I'm doing it in my head.
I prefer to do it out loud andit works best out loud, but if I
have a bunch of people aroundor something you know, then I
would do it in my head and thenthe next time it comes up.
I didn't judge it Now.
I just went right to the stafftechnique and then over time
it's not going to happen anymore.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It loses its power over you.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
They keep going through thewhole thing.
Because here's the interestingthing Everybody does it a little
bit different, so it's good tohear your perspective on it
being done and that's the way wewere taught.
Just FYI, everybody.
So you know.
One of the other things that wedo talk about doing it in the
(23:32):
car, so something I teach peopleas well that if you're in a
meeting, you're in the car,you're whatever the case may be,
you do it in your head, butinstead of standing up, you just
look up at the ceilings, put abig smile on your face and it
automatically releases hormonesand snapping you out of it,
because all the muscles in yourface when you smile, it releases
(23:53):
the good hormones automatically.
Your brain doesn't know anydifferent.
And so when you do that in thecar whatever the case may be
road rage or whatever it is it'sreally a magical, magical
process.
So thank you for going throughall that.
Right, yeah, so you know.
So let's see where were webefore we got there?
So trauma, so we're, we're,we're catching ourselves Right,
(24:16):
and so it's like okay, I did thestop technique and I'm.
I've been doing this 16 times aday, because Diana's and Mike
said, the more you do it, thebetter I'm going to get at it.
So what, I'm really good at it.
So I'm really good at it.
I'm really good at snappingmyself out of being in that
place of starting the spin cycle, whatever the case may be.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
So where do you go from there?
Well, smile would be one thingright, Like you just said,
because that's releasing theendorphins, and also celebrating
when you do catch it andcelebrating the little wins that
you have in your life.
You know, I think a big pieceof trauma too is once we have
that cloud over our head.
Everything looks cloudy, youknow, and so even doing more
(25:01):
things to release that cloudthat's over your head, doing the
things we talked about before,like you know, planning in some
nature, planning in somegrounding, those types of things
are super important.
Also, when thoughts come in ofyou know, oh, maybe this could
happen Again, those things wantto be heard.
So if you acknowledge it andsay maybe it is, maybe it could
(25:23):
happen, but there's also otherthings that could happen, and
just kind of open yourself up topossibilities, yeah, I love
that.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
And the more you do that, the how do I say this I'm
going to say, the easier it isto deal with these things Right,
because trauma doesn't just goaway because you say I want it
to right.
In fact, the more you thinkabout the trauma and the more
you're focused on the trauma,the worse the trauma will become
(25:53):
, because unless you do it in apositive way, that you're
breaking down the trauma.
So I'd like to again where arewe at on time?
Okay, sorry, I lost where mytimer was.
Okay, sorry, I lost where mytimer was.
So can you give us some tipsand thoughts on how to break
free of the trauma, to changethe definition of what it
(26:15):
actually meant to that personand everybody's different?
The patterns are very similar,but the stories are different.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Right, right and interesting.
You use the word story becausewe all create a story for what
it meant, right?
So we have something happen andwe have this story behind it
and, honestly, there's so muchresearch done that the way we
play it back in our head isactually worse than the way that
it actually happened in mostcases.
So you know, just knowledge ofthat.
(27:11):
Also, when we have theseemotions that we like literally
90 seconds, you don't want toget lost in it, you know.
So sit down and feel that angerand let it out of your body.
You know, and this is probablynot something you're going to do
with a couple of kids, but youknow, I felt that I think you
really just released somethingI've gotten pretty good at it,
(27:35):
you know or cry and it's sofunny because you know there's
so many people who take pride inthat they haven't cried in
years and it's not healthy, youknow.
So you have to be able to ableand willing to let the emotions
flow through and be kind andgentle to yourself in the
process, and you know, doing itby yourself is great if you have
(27:56):
, you know, a coach or someoneto help you, even better.
But your feelings for yourselfare the big thing too.
So loving yourself through thatand taking away the judgment
are the big thing too.
So loving yourself through thatand taking away the judgment
there's so much judgment, youknow.
So the other thing is and it'sprobably a little bit down the
(28:16):
road is can you reframe it?
You know so.
Can I reframe it and can I seethat somehow this trauma was
good in my life?
I'll give you an example for me,you know I mean, we had it
before.
For me.
I was in an abusiverelationship.
I'm thankful for that at thispoint, because I'm doing this
and I'm helping people now.
You know, I've had a good bitof trauma in my life and I've
(28:39):
gotten to here because of it.
So taking that, you know,because some people will be like
how can you say that was a goodthing?
You know well.
And the other thing isacceptance.
You know it happened and wewant to.
We spend so much time wantingto change the past and that past
has such a hold on us becausewe keep wanting to change it and
(29:01):
we can't.
So if you accept that it iswhat it is and you kind of put
it in the past and you keep yourfocus forward and you keep your
focus on actually caring howyou feel and doing things that
feel good, and they'll tietogether because we're like
magnets, so we just keepattracting what we're putting
out.
So if I'm putting feel goodstuff out, I'm getting feel good
(29:23):
stuff back.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, I love that.
You know, it's so funny how welook at our past and we're
trying to escape our past.
You know, I learned a long timeago and I just want to add to
this, talking about our ownstories, for a second is my past
, is what made me who I am today.
I, you know those bad things.
If you can change thatperspective and reframe like
(29:45):
Diana said, reframe it into Ilearned from that.
It didn't happen to me, ithappened for me, Right?
I love that.
I am who I am now and I'm proudof who I am.
Am I perfect?
No, but guess what?
I'm going to learn from thattoo, and I'm going to be even
better tomorrow.
And if you can switch thosetraumas and those things into
(30:06):
something that it made mestronger, for instance, I
learned how to do this becauseof it.
I learned there's resources andI help other people because of
it.
You know, there's so manythings that we block ourselves
of goodness that comes out ofbad things, or we think they're
bad at the time, but reallythey're gifts.
And it can be a horrible thingand if you look and you have an
(30:29):
open mind, you can find the goodin it.
You can find something thatmade you better from it if
you're open to it.
So I really love that youbrought that up.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I think that's huge.
And throwing into that, too,forgiveness and I think one of
the biggest people that we getto forgive is ourself First and
being on here maybe there'speople who you know shot someone
during war and things like that, and I can only imagine how
that feels, you know, because Ihaven't experienced that.
But forgive yourself, loveyourself.
(31:00):
You know again, you can'tchange it, but you can love
yourself.
And if you're punishingyourself, you're typically
punishing those around you too,and you're not, you know you're
not doing things that youotherwise could be.
So forgive yourself and thenlove yourself through that.
And I think forgiving ourselvesis the hardest person to
forgive.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, I love that.
You said that and it's it'salso you know a lot of veterans
it's I wasn't there for my buddy, I wasn't there for the soldier
next to me.
Something happened, but youknow what it's.
It's something happened and youknow and I deal with this a lot
with veterans, and so I alwaystell people forgiveness is
(31:41):
number one and, like you said,Diana, it's perfect.
It starts with yourself.
You have to forgive yourself.
In fact, I just had aconversation yesterday with
somebody about this.
Here's my perspective on that,and I know we're already over
time, but let's go, we own theplace.
So if you can look back in yourlife and you can say and I
(32:03):
think everybody can do this atsome point in their life I was
doing the best I could for who Iwas at the time, that's perfect
.
I was doing the best I couldfor who I was at the time, For
yourself first.
And here's a powerful one, andI just got to chill.
Michelle Odette Green callsthem God bumps.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
I've had a lot today.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've had a lot, amen.
But if you can look yourself inthe mirror and say that to
yourself, it's very powerful.
I mean, look in your eyes andyour soul and do it.
It's okay to cry, it's okay tofeel emotion, so just try it and
then celebrate.
You did it every time.
Pat yourself on the back,literally dance, do whatever you
(32:46):
need to, but celebrate it toagain release those good
hormones and stuff like that.
But if we can start there andthen, like you said, diana, just
start with yourself, because Ithink that is the most powerful,
and then move to other people,other things, whether it be oh,
I didn't do that right with mykids and I would have done it
differently.
Well, again, you know that now.
You didn't know it then.
(33:07):
And then the last thing I wantto say about it is how many
times have you said oh man, if Iwould have known that then you
weren't supposed to, you weren'topen for it yet.
And give that to yourself.
You know it now.
Use it now, because now is thegift.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
So that sorry, I went on a rant.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Sorry, I think that's good information.
So, thank you.
Thank you, diana.
How do people reach out to youif they want to talk to you and
so on, like that?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Yeah, so I have a Facebook group they could join
if they wanted to.
It's Soaring Heights Businessand Life Coaching.
My website isSoaringHeightsCoachingcom and my
email isSoaringHeightsAtMyYahoocom.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I love Soaring Heights.
That's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Absolutely.
I want to take you to SoaringHeights.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Absolutely and, if you can, I know Susan is on here
, thank.
Thank you, susan.
By the way, my love uh foradding stuff in and putting
stuff in for people.
But, um, diana, if there's anyother ones you want to put in
that we didn't catch, pleasefeel free to put in all social
media stuff.
Okay, okay, and we're almostdone here.
We need three tips to getveterans and their families
(34:23):
further faster.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Be gentle.
Be really gentle with yourself.
That is key.
Let go of all judgment.
If you can start living withoutjudgment, switch right and
wrong for working or not working.
This works for me.
This doesn't work for meinstead.
And number three celebrate,celebrate, celebrate Even the
(34:46):
little, teeny, tiny wins.
You know everybody's on theirown path and in a different
place, and your nervous systemloves it when you celebrate, and
then again that magnet comes in, so it's wanting more things to
celebrate, so celebrate.
And if you feel like it'sgloating or something, come on
to my Facebook group and I wouldlove for you to celebrate the
(35:07):
heck out of everything.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Absolutely love it.
Yeah, celebration man, you know, I just it is the thing we do,
probably the least that weshould do the most.
So thank you for saying that to, uh, to our audience, and um, I
, I soaked that in all day long,so thank you.
So, with that said, everybodyguess what we're done.
We're six minutes over, but itwas fantastic.
(35:29):
Diana, thank you so much forbeing on today.
You know, time is the mostprecious resource we have as
human beings.
We don't get it back.
Thank you for spending a fewminutes of your life with us to
spread knowledge and resourcesand things like that.
We're so honored.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
You're so welcome.
Thank you.
All right, everybody, we're outof here.
Thank you for joining us onanother insightful journey.
All right, everybody, we're outof here.
Empowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways ofpost-deployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hello, hello, hello everybody, hey.
So today, you know, diane and Ihave been trying to do this for
a little bit and magnificencehas happened and we're here, so
I'm super excited.
So Diana Sullivan specializesin energy healing modalities
such as shamanic healing, reikiand access bars, guiding
(01:10):
individuals through deepemotional and spiritual healing.
She has helped people launchbusinesses, attract soulmates
and achieve physical healing byaddressing the root causes of
their struggles, which is soimportant.
She unlocks new possibilities,releasing energetic blockages
that may be holding them back inrelationships, health and,
especially, financial success.
(01:30):
She has years of experienceteaching how unresolved past
traumas this is what we're goingto talk about today can subtly
yet powerfully affect everyaspect of life.
And she's just a rock star.
Let's just call it what it is,shall we?
So, diana, why don't you tell alittle bit more about yourself
that people that don't know youSure.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Thank you, michael, I'm honored to be here.
Thanks so much for having me,and I love that we stuck with it
and we got to today, so that'sperfect Amen.
As you mentioned a lot ofthings already, so I'm trained
in different healing modalities.
I also have been a single momsince my kids were one and three
, who has been a business personin the background.
(02:13):
So I had a successful appraisalmanagement company that I ran
for 15 years and sold thatbecause in the background I was
working on these healing, thehealing modalities and coaching
and different things and thatbecame my passion.
So I sold my company a year anda half ago for two and a half
million dollars, which was quitefun and all of that.
(02:34):
And now I get to do what I love, which is help people.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That's fantastic and you know your story.
Your story is very cool becauseof the success and how you help
people.
I really you know, when youwere talking about it before and
I think it was with Carolyn aswell they were just talking
about it with you, carolyn Azunawe're in the same group, guys,
just so you know what I'mtalking about as well as with
(02:58):
the Neuron Coding Institute.
So you know it's just reallycool how you change that.
You know what you're doing intowhat you do now.
So will you talk a little bitmore about you know what started
you down the path, if you will,into what you love, and you
know what you're doing nowno-transcript attract things
(03:50):
that are fun and delicious andyummy and all of the things.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
So that's where it began.
It began because of somethingthat was really crappy.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable
.
Obviously it's so interestinghow, when we get into a bad
place whether it be emotionally,psychologically, physically,
you know burnout, whatever it is, and we are like enough.
And it's weird how then we'regonna talk about it obviously,
(04:24):
how the new thing gets attractedto you when you say enough and
you create that leverage foryourself and I want something
different.
And then here you are right.
I mean, isn't it's?
It's really beautiful.
You know, for me, um, you know,I've had that multiple times in
my my many years, if I wantedto go back, right, but if you
know, if we hadn't been in theplace with our construction
(04:46):
company saying you know what,this isn't doing it for us
anymore and let's, you know, I'mjust done after 53 years of
being in the same industry, Iwouldn't have enjoyed the Neuron
Coding Institute and I wouldn'tbe here with you right now.
So it's really magical and Iwould.
When, at the time, most peoplethink you know my life's ending
right, we go to all of thishorrible stuff and what can be
(05:12):
birthed out of that, the gifts,it's really beautiful.
So, with that said, before wereally get started, top
right-hand corner of the screenthere's a blue QR code.
Please scan that QR code.
It takes you toempowerperformancestrategiescom,
for people listening on thepodcast forums later Again
empowerperformancestrategiescom.
There are eBooks, freeresources that I've written.
(05:34):
There are Facebook groups forboth veterans and their families
, there's trainings, there's allkinds of stuff and, of course,
other episodes of the podcast.
So check it out, be part of thecommunity and, um, be part of
the mission.
So, with that said, um, let's.
Let me start with what kind um.
(06:02):
Your sound isn't coming throughclear okay, Okay, let me try
that again.
Is it better?
Now it is, thank you.
I live in the foothills, sosometimes my internet gets a
little wonky.
You're like I don't know whathe just said.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I was going to try to wing it, but I thought I'd ask
that's all good.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
What sign should someone be looking for that
indicate their past is stillshaping their present, whether
that be trauma or just thoughts?
Whatever the case may be, let'sreally start there, because I
think that's kind of thebeginning of the healing right.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, really, just taking an honest look at
yourself, do you feel peacefuland calm?
Are you anxious?
Do you have anxiety?
Are you able to respond asopposed to react when situations
happen?
Are you self-aware, which youknow, we're all.
We're not really taughtself-awareness, so it is a
(06:54):
challenging thing.
I mean, I even find I've beendoing these things for 10 years
and sometimes I'm like, oh mygosh, I had massive anxiety and
I didn't even realize I had it.
You know, it just masks itselfin certain ways.
But, you know, is your lifereally working?
Is it?
Do you?
You know?
Are you, are you getting thethings that you desire and that
(07:15):
you want?
You know, or are you kind ofstressed out?
Are you able to be present andbe in the present moment, or are
you always somewhere else inyour head?
You?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
love that.
You said that.
Let's kind of dive into thatand I call it the spin cycle,
right?
And a lot of times we justdon't even realize we're there
and someone will say, hey, whatwas up with you yesterday?
Or whatever the case may be,and this literally just happened
recently.
So when you're in that spincycle or you know in your
(07:47):
thoughts, in your head, andyou're like you're- saying right
now being unresourceful.
What are some of the?
I know my neuron coding tricksand I know you know Tony Robbins
stuff and all those differentthings.
But what do you suggest topeople to say, hey, you know
what, you can snap out of it andlive your best life if you will
.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I think one of the big things is really to just
number one have the intention.
You know we have to beintentional about it or we don't
do it.
You know we can get lost and wemask it.
You know our egos are prettygood at hiding it and masking it
.
So if you're busy being busy,and you're just too busy and you
can't take a minute, and you'retoo busy and you're too, you
(08:28):
know it's that, stop.
That's the first thing you cando is stop.
Create some intentionalityabout.
You know I'm going to slow down.
You know I'm going to slow down.
I don't have to do all of thethings and they don't all need
to get done, you know,immediately.
And it doesn't have to beperfect either.
(08:51):
You know, a lot of times peopleare striving for perfection and
it's not something that existsand they feel like they're
really I don't remember.
I want to say it was JosephMcClendon III who said if you're
striving for perfection, you'relike at a really low vibration.
You know that sounds more likesomething Carolyn said.
I'm not sure, but you know,when you're striving for that it
is.
It's a low vibration becauseit's something that's
(09:12):
unattainable, you know.
So instead, let go of that ideaof perfection.
Let go of the busyness and juststop.
Create some intentionality.
You know what I love my family.
I love my children.
So maybe it's more time formore important for me to sit
down and just hang out with themtonight than it is to clean the
bathroom or the house or, youknow, whatever it is that you
(09:34):
had and I love that.
And you know, when we're doingthose things we're just, we're
just blocking.
You know, a lot of the timeswe're blocking feelings that we
don't want to feel.
You can't block the the good,you can't block the good bad
stuff and have the good stuff.
You're either blocking all ofit or you're blocking none of it
.
You know.
So if there's feelings you'reavoiding by being busy, you know
(09:55):
once you do stop, some of thatstuff's going to come up and you
get to greet it with love andcare.
You know and love all of thoseparts of yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I love that you say that I want to talk more about
that.
Look, the questions are alreadyout the door.
Just organic conversations withmy curiosity, welcome.
So when you're having that andit could be your body, you know
feeling worn out and you knowyou're not listening to it, or
family, or whatever the case maybe, what are some some things
that?
Okay, hey, I realizedsomething's not right.
(10:29):
I'm anxious, I'm feeling pissedoff, I'm in the spin cycle, I
can't get out of it.
What are some of the fastestways that you can think of to to
snap people out of it so theycan get back on track and take
that break and get you knowwhat's important to them back?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
in their life.
Breathwork, of course, would bethe first thing and it's the
easiest because you can do it nomatter where you are, you know
if people aren't familiar.
Box breathing, I think is oneof the easiest you know.
Count to four, going in throughyour nose, hold it for four,
four out, hold that, and thenyou picture it as a box as you
(11:06):
go through.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, and I just learned about through that from
Gary Brekka.
I did not know about it untilthen.
Really, yeah, it's a great one.
It's a great one because you'refocusing on something else.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Right, right, yeah, it brings your focus because I
could tell you to meditate.
But if you've not meditatedbefore, this idea of or even if
you have, sometimes it's hard tothis idea of quieting your mind
just doesn't work right.
So that's the easiest.
The next thing, that's probablymy favorite, is to go for a
walk.
You know, when you walk itactually it helps to process
(11:41):
through the things that arestuck in there.
You know it just automaticallyworks to process through the
things that are stuck in there.
You know it just automaticallyworks to process.
And if you can be around, youknow, in nature I live on 34
acres, so I get to go out andwalk around here every day and
it's just beautiful.
And I mean, for me, I love totouch the trees and feel the
energy of the trees.
And you know some people thinkthat's weird and if that's weird
(12:01):
for you you don't have to dothat, you know.
But just being around them isreally helpful too, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
So getting out and walking, yeah, I love that
Because anytime you have anyphysical exercises, mentally
you're going to come out of itin a better state.
It releases hormones and allthat fun stuff.
So you know feeling the trees,that kind of stuff.
So let me go back two steps.
I get it Okay.
(12:28):
First of all, I get it becausehow often I don't do it enough,
but I do do it.
In fact I did it a couple ofdays ago going outside.
Take your shoes off, put yourfeet in the grass and grounding,
whether that be through yourfeet, through the tree, feeling
that energy, whatever it is.
But how beautiful it is to sitthere for a minute, be
(12:49):
intentional, like you're sayingand I love that you brought that
up and really just be presentthere with yourself and nature
and slow down for a second,whether you're walking or just
grounding, whatever the case maybe, and listen to the birds
around you, the squirrels.
I think I had Aaron Lloyd onhere.
We talked about the turkeys,because if you have turkeys,
we're on property as well, andso you know you have all this
(13:12):
little life going around youwhen you slow down and really
see it, hear it and feel it itreally centers you.
Well, that could be in the citytoo.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I mean, you've got things going around too too, but
when you're not focusing onyourself, you're focusing on
other things, beautiful thingsum, it can be really empowering
right and using all your sensestoo you know, because a lot of
times we just you know, we'rejust looking around so much with
our eyes but you know what doyou hear and what can you touch,
and even the taste of thingssometimes, and you know all of
(13:43):
the things and just taking it in, yeah, yeah, Absolutely love
that and it's, it's.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We don't take enough time to do it.
I mean, I think you could do it24 hours a day and it wouldn't
be enough time.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Right, yeah, you know , and really one of the other
things too is prioritizing fun,you know, prioritizing things
that you enjoy doing.
You know you're not too busy tofind some fun time.
If you are.
You got to realize that if youdo find some fun time, the
things that are busy, they'regoing to go easier and they're
going to go smoother and they'regoing to go faster because
(14:17):
you're going to approach themfrom a different, from a
different energy, from adifferent angle, and it's just
going to I love that you saidthat, because when you do focus
on those positive thingsgratefulness or whatever and
you're doing some of those funthings, it does, it resets you,
it absolutely resets you and theother things will be there.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
But if you're going and doing it in a different
emotional state and differentmindset, maybe you'll even have
fun doing it.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I don't know.
It's a game changer.
You can even make a game andhave fun doing dishes.
You can actually enjoy that.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Give me a game with dishes.
I'm excited to hear this.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I don't know if I have one.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
That just came up Everything can be a game,
something fun, absolutelyplaying with you.
How you stack them, I don'tknow yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It's actually a funny thing in my household, but no
one can stack the dishwasherlike me.
No one can stack the dryingrack, so it has become a little
bit of a competition there yougo, there you go, celebration
being the reward, right yeah.
Yeah, go ahead, you're going tosay something.
Another thing would begratitude, you know, so, having
(15:36):
a gratitude practice, whateverit might be, you could do
gratitude journaling, you can.
I have some friends that wesend each other three things
we're grateful for in text everyday, you know, and it's super
powerful.
And sometimes I'm like, oh, youknow, going about my day and
just kind of, and then I getthat text popping and I'm like,
(15:57):
oh, that's right, I get to begrateful, this person's grateful
for this, and I, oh, I likethat one and I'm going to add,
you know, and all of a suddenI'm just everything shifts, you
know, I love that.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I absolutely love that.
I'll text you in a little while, as soon as we're done.
I'm grateful we did the podcast.
Grateful we did the podcast.
I do love that and having thatcommunity that does the same
things to bring you up in themiddle of the day when you're,
you know, stuck in the normalworld, if you will.
That's powerful.
(16:28):
I love that idea.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely love it.
So let's kind of dive into sometrauma stuff We've got.
We're a little over halfwaydone with the show, so if we can
, let's kind of dive into that.
So you know, as far as trauma,different people have different
aspects or thoughts of whattrauma is.
Will you give us some of yourthoughts on trauma in general?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
You know it's interesting because it could be
something so intense or it couldbe something small, but
sometimes it has just as much ofa lasting effect.
Yeah, you know from someonebeing told they were an accident
because their birth wasn'tplanned.
That can be lifelong and theydon't even realize it but they
never feel like they fit inbecause they were told that.
(17:13):
You know to someoneexperiencing something awful.
You know cancer, things likethat, or people who have been in
war.
You know those.
Those are awful things to haveseen.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, absolutely.
So what are some of the?
And really, trauma is an eventhappened.
It's the definition we gave theevent and that's why we get
stuck in that right and werelive it.
The trauma happened generally.
Once Our remembering itcontinues and continues, and
that's why it's so powerful forus.
(17:50):
So talk about you, know yourthoughts on that first, and then
let's talk about you know waysto mitigate.
Ways to mitigate it, to bringyourself out of it so you can
thrive, instead of trying tosurvive.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I love what you just said too.
That's a huge thing for me isgetting people out of survival
and into thriving.
And I think number one is thatyou have to realize that you
deserve it.
Everyone deserves to thrive anda lot of times, because of
certain things, we don't feellike we deserve that and so and
(18:24):
you know, if you walk into aroom, it's much easier to be
part of a conversation where wecomplain and we don't get what
we want.
You know all of these things,so you have to kind of be
willing to to step outside ofthe norm, and hopefully we make
this the norm at some point.
You know that we're talkingabout wonderful things instead
of instead of the crap.
But you know, when you're, whenyou're in a something where it's
(18:47):
playing over and over, andyou're in that loop, you have to
do something to interrupt thepattern, right.
So our computers, our brains,you know they have this thing
where when we experience thosethings, it keeps going and it
keeps playing and it keepsplaying and it just we get stuck
there.
So how do you get unstuck?
Right?
You have to interrupt thepattern, and I'm sure you
(19:09):
probably talk about the stoptechnique frequently, you know.
So, pattern interrupt.
And then do you want me toshare about the stop technique,
or you know so, patterninterrupt, and then do you do
you want me to share about thestop technique or do you?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You can do the stop technique or any kind of pattern
interrupt just because we'vetalked about it before.
You know not.
I shouldn't say that.
Everybody hasn't seen everyepisode, but there's a
possibility, so please share.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
So if you're, if you're doing the staff technique
, basically you're going to,you're going to feel bad on
purpose.
So whatever that feeling isthat happens for you.
I'm going to use the example ofsomeone falling.
Maybe it's someone who's fallenoff a ladder and they keep it's
replaying, or it's somethingyou saw.
You can go to something you sawin the war, because that's
(19:56):
probably something more that'sprevalent here.
So it just keeps replaying.
So you're going to sit down andyou're going to feel bad on
purpose.
You're going to feel thatfeeling and I know you probably
think I'm nuts right now becauseyou don't want to feel the
feeling.
But that's part of the problem.
The feeling wants to have itsmoment, it wants to be felt and
we keep resisting it and what weresist persists, so it's going
(20:16):
to keep coming up, keep comingup.
So you give it a second and youfeel it.
And then you're going to, onpurpose, feel it and then
pattern interrupt, so youactually say the word stop and
then, if you're sitting, youstand up, you move your body and
you say you could say whateverresonates with you, and maybe
(20:36):
it's I am magnificent and you,just because you want to replace
, you're creating a space, andso you want to replace something
in that space and what you'regoing to replace it with is
something that's wonderful.
So you know, you remindyourself that you're magnificent
, you're wonderful, and maybepart of that whole thing too is
(20:57):
some judgment you have aboutyourself and what you did in
this situation or something.
So that's taking care of thattoo.
And then you sit down and you doit again.
So you do that a good fivetimes and you do it three
different times a day, differentthings.
You know I like to go 10,depends how hard, how hard it's
wired in.
You know, sometimes I'll evengo 10 times.
So you're practicing it, soyou're practicing a pattern
(21:20):
interrupts.
You're practicing feeling goodand at the end, too, we want to
say yes, because you'recelebrating what you just did.
So you can do that multipletimes.
A three times a day is what Ilike to do, and you know you
want to commit to doing this 10days in a row.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I love it and I just want to preface something, if we
can, is it's an exercise and sothe more you do it, the more
you build the muscle.
Just like you've already go tothe gym, you don't go to the gym
one time, come back, come outand say I don't look like Warren
Schwarzenegger, I failed.
Come back, come out and say Idon't look like Lauren
Schwarzenegger, I failed.
You know you have to do theexercise and the more you do it,
(22:00):
the bigger the muscle begins tobuild and the easier it is.
And then what happens at theend?
Well, actually, diana, why?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
don't you tell me why this works.
That's okay.
That's okay.
So you're rewiring your brain.
So when it comes up, when itactually comes up in the moment,
you know you're just drivingdown the road at some average
day and all of a sudden, here itcomes, here's this film that
plays.
That crazy lady said to do thisthing, and I've been doing it,
but it's not helping.
So that's going to happen, andwhen it happens, the thing that
(22:29):
you would notice in that momentwas you caught it, you know.
So, rather than go, why is itcoming up, why isn't it gone yet
?
The first step is going to bethat you're going to catch it.
So now that I'm live in themoment of feeling like crap
cause it's happening, I get todo the stop technique again.
So in the moment and I meanI've done it in the car, when I
have, like, kids in the car andtheir friends, and so in those
(22:51):
moments I'm doing it in my head.
I prefer to do it out loud andit works best out loud, but if I
have a bunch of people aroundor something you know, then I
would do it in my head and thenthe next time it comes up.
I didn't judge it Now.
I just went right to the stafftechnique and then over time
it's not going to happen anymore.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It loses its power over you.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
They keep going through thewhole thing.
Because here's the interestingthing Everybody does it a little
bit different, so it's good tohear your perspective on it
being done and that's the way wewere taught.
Just FYI, everybody.
So you know.
One of the other things that wedo talk about doing it in the
(23:32):
car, so something I teach peopleas well that if you're in a
meeting, you're in the car,you're whatever the case may be,
you do it in your head, butinstead of standing up, you just
look up at the ceilings, put abig smile on your face and it
automatically releases hormonesand snapping you out of it,
because all the muscles in yourface when you smile, it releases
(23:53):
the good hormones automatically.
Your brain doesn't know anydifferent.
And so when you do that in thecar whatever the case may be
road rage or whatever it is it'sreally a magical, magical
process.
So thank you for going throughall that.
Right, yeah, so you know.
So let's see where were webefore we got there?
So trauma, so we're, we're,we're catching ourselves Right,
(24:16):
and so it's like okay, I did thestop technique and I'm.
I've been doing this 16 times aday, because Diana's and Mike
said, the more you do it, thebetter I'm going to get at it.
So what, I'm really good at it.
So I'm really good at it.
I'm really good at snappingmyself out of being in that
place of starting the spin cycle, whatever the case may be.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
So where do you go from there?
Well, smile would be one thingright, Like you just said,
because that's releasing theendorphins, and also celebrating
when you do catch it andcelebrating the little wins that
you have in your life.
You know, I think a big pieceof trauma too is once we have
that cloud over our head.
Everything looks cloudy, youknow, and so even doing more
(25:01):
things to release that cloudthat's over your head, doing the
things we talked about before,like you know, planning in some
nature, planning in somegrounding, those types of things
are super important.
Also, when thoughts come in ofyou know, oh, maybe this could
happen Again, those things wantto be heard.
So if you acknowledge it andsay maybe it is, maybe it could
(25:23):
happen, but there's also otherthings that could happen, and
just kind of open yourself up topossibilities, yeah, I love
that.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
And the more you do that, the how do I say this I'm
going to say, the easier it isto deal with these things Right,
because trauma doesn't just goaway because you say I want it
to right.
In fact, the more you thinkabout the trauma and the more
you're focused on the trauma,the worse the trauma will become
(25:53):
, because unless you do it in apositive way, that you're
breaking down the trauma.
So I'd like to again where arewe at on time?
Okay, sorry, I lost where mytimer was.
Okay, sorry, I lost where mytimer was.
So can you give us some tipsand thoughts on how to break
free of the trauma, to changethe definition of what it
(26:15):
actually meant to that personand everybody's different?
The patterns are very similar,but the stories are different.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Right, right and interesting.
You use the word story becausewe all create a story for what
it meant, right?
So we have something happen andwe have this story behind it
and, honestly, there's so muchresearch done that the way we
play it back in our head isactually worse than the way that
it actually happened in mostcases.
So you know, just knowledge ofthat.
(27:11):
Also, when we have theseemotions that we like literally
90 seconds, you don't want toget lost in it, you know.
So sit down and feel that angerand let it out of your body.
You know, and this is probablynot something you're going to do
with a couple of kids, but youknow, I felt that I think you
really just released somethingI've gotten pretty good at it,
(27:35):
you know or cry and it's sofunny because you know there's
so many people who take pride inthat they haven't cried in
years and it's not healthy, youknow.
So you have to be able to ableand willing to let the emotions
flow through and be kind andgentle to yourself in the
process, and you know, doing itby yourself is great if you have
(27:56):
, you know, a coach or someoneto help you, even better.
But your feelings for yourselfare the big thing too.
So loving yourself through thatand taking away the judgment
are the big thing too.
So loving yourself through thatand taking away the judgment
there's so much judgment, youknow.
So the other thing is and it'sprobably a little bit down the
(28:16):
road is can you reframe it?
You know so.
Can I reframe it and can I seethat somehow this trauma was
good in my life?
I'll give you an example for me,you know I mean, we had it
before.
For me.
I was in an abusiverelationship.
I'm thankful for that at thispoint, because I'm doing this
and I'm helping people now.
You know, I've had a good bitof trauma in my life and I've
(28:39):
gotten to here because of it.
So taking that, you know,because some people will be like
how can you say that was a goodthing?
You know well.
And the other thing isacceptance.
You know it happened and wewant to.
We spend so much time wantingto change the past and that past
has such a hold on us becausewe keep wanting to change it and
(29:01):
we can't.
So if you accept that it iswhat it is and you kind of put
it in the past and you keep yourfocus forward and you keep your
focus on actually caring howyou feel and doing things that
feel good, and they'll tietogether because we're like
magnets, so we just keepattracting what we're putting
out.
So if I'm putting feel goodstuff out, I'm getting feel good
(29:23):
stuff back.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, I love that.
You know, it's so funny how welook at our past and we're
trying to escape our past.
You know, I learned a long timeago and I just want to add to
this, talking about our ownstories, for a second is my past
, is what made me who I am today.
I, you know those bad things.
If you can change thatperspective and reframe like
(29:45):
Diana said, reframe it into Ilearned from that.
It didn't happen to me, ithappened for me, Right?
I love that.
I am who I am now and I'm proudof who I am.
Am I perfect?
No, but guess what?
I'm going to learn from thattoo, and I'm going to be even
better tomorrow.
And if you can switch thosetraumas and those things into
(30:06):
something that it made mestronger, for instance, I
learned how to do this becauseof it.
I learned there's resources andI help other people because of
it.
You know, there's so manythings that we block ourselves
of goodness that comes out ofbad things, or we think they're
bad at the time, but reallythey're gifts.
And it can be a horrible thingand if you look and you have an
(30:29):
open mind, you can find the goodin it.
You can find something thatmade you better from it if
you're open to it.
So I really love that youbrought that up.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I think that's huge.
And throwing into that, too,forgiveness and I think one of
the biggest people that we getto forgive is ourself First and
being on here maybe there'speople who you know shot someone
during war and things like that, and I can only imagine how
that feels, you know, because Ihaven't experienced that.
But forgive yourself, loveyourself.
(31:00):
You know again, you can'tchange it, but you can love
yourself.
And if you're punishingyourself, you're typically
punishing those around you too,and you're not, you know you're
not doing things that youotherwise could be.
So forgive yourself and thenlove yourself through that.
And I think forgiving ourselvesis the hardest person to
forgive.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, I love that.
You said that and it's it'salso you know a lot of veterans
it's I wasn't there for my buddy, I wasn't there for the soldier
next to me.
Something happened, but youknow what it's.
It's something happened and youknow and I deal with this a lot
with veterans, and so I alwaystell people forgiveness is
(31:41):
number one and, like you said,Diana, it's perfect.
It starts with yourself.
You have to forgive yourself.
In fact, I just had aconversation yesterday with
somebody about this.
Here's my perspective on that,and I know we're already over
time, but let's go, we own theplace.
So if you can look back in yourlife and you can say and I
(32:03):
think everybody can do this atsome point in their life I was
doing the best I could for who Iwas at the time, that's perfect
.
I was doing the best I couldfor who I was at the time, For
yourself first.
And here's a powerful one, andI just got to chill.
Michelle Odette Green callsthem God bumps.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
I've had a lot today.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've had a lot, amen.
But if you can look yourself inthe mirror and say that to
yourself, it's very powerful.
I mean, look in your eyes andyour soul and do it.
It's okay to cry, it's okay tofeel emotion, so just try it and
then celebrate.
You did it every time.
Pat yourself on the back,literally dance, do whatever you
(32:46):
need to, but celebrate it toagain release those good
hormones and stuff like that.
But if we can start there andthen, like you said, diana, just
start with yourself, because Ithink that is the most powerful,
and then move to other people,other things, whether it be oh,
I didn't do that right with mykids and I would have done it
differently.
Well, again, you know that now.
You didn't know it then.
(33:07):
And then the last thing I wantto say about it is how many
times have you said oh man, if Iwould have known that then you
weren't supposed to, you weren'topen for it yet.
And give that to yourself.
You know it now.
Use it now, because now is thegift.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
So that sorry, I went on a rant.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Sorry, I think that's good information.
So, thank you.
Thank you, diana.
How do people reach out to youif they want to talk to you and
so on, like that?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Yeah, so I have a Facebook group they could join
if they wanted to.
It's Soaring Heights Businessand Life Coaching.
My website isSoaringHeightsCoachingcom and my
email isSoaringHeightsAtMyYahoocom.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I love Soaring Heights.
That's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Absolutely.
I want to take you to SoaringHeights.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Absolutely and, if you can, I know Susan is on here
, thank.
Thank you, susan.
By the way, my love uh foradding stuff in and putting
stuff in for people.
But, um, diana, if there's anyother ones you want to put in
that we didn't catch, pleasefeel free to put in all social
media stuff.
Okay, okay, and we're almostdone here.
We need three tips to getveterans and their families
(34:23):
further faster.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Be gentle.
Be really gentle with yourself.
That is key.
Let go of all judgment.
If you can start living withoutjudgment, switch right and
wrong for working or not working.
This works for me.
This doesn't work for meinstead.
And number three celebrate,celebrate, celebrate Even the
(34:46):
little, teeny, tiny wins.
You know everybody's on theirown path and in a different
place, and your nervous systemloves it when you celebrate, and
then again that magnet comes in, so it's wanting more things to
celebrate, so celebrate.
And if you feel like it'sgloating or something, come on
to my Facebook group and I wouldlove for you to celebrate the
(35:07):
heck out of everything.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Absolutely love it.
Yeah, celebration man, you know, I just it is the thing we do,
probably the least that weshould do the most.
So thank you for saying that to, uh, to our audience, and um, I
, I soaked that in all day long,so thank you.
So, with that said, everybodyguess what we're done.
We're six minutes over, but itwas fantastic.
(35:29):
Diana, thank you so much forbeing on today.
You know, time is the mostprecious resource we have as
human beings.
We don't get it back.
Thank you for spending a fewminutes of your life with us to
spread knowledge and resourcesand things like that.
We're so honored.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
You're so welcome.
Thank you.
All right, everybody, we're outof here.
Thank you for joining us onanother insightful journey.
All right, everybody, we're outof here.
Empowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
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