March 24, 2025 • 34 mins
"Making the main thing the main thing" sounds simple, but how many of us actually do it? In this deeply reflective conversation with Arron Lloyd - actor, director, and certified neuro encoding specialist - we explore what it truly means to prioritize what matters most in life.
Arron shares his journey from the inner city to discovering his purpose through acting and helping others. Drawing from his background and expertise in Neuroencoding, he offers profound insights into how we can cut through the noise of our "distraction economy" to focus on what genuinely matters.
We tackle the challenging question that many veterans face after service: how do you rediscover your purpose when the mission changes? Arron suggests practical approaches like asking trusted friends what they see as your gifts, noticing what activities make time fly by, and literally "breathing into your heart" to connect with your deeper wisdom.
The conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore the fine line between necessary self-care and procrastination (yes, we even discuss the importance of pedicures for well-being!), practical strategies for managing digital distractions, and the power of grounding in nature to reset your perspective.
Arron offers three transformative tips specifically for veterans: tap into your purpose, clarify what truly matters most today, and develop heart coherence by reconnecting with your emotions. His closing story about two monks powerfully illustrates how letting go of unnecessary burdens frees us to focus on what's truly important.
Whether you're a veteran transitioning to civilian life or anyone seeking greater clarity and purpose, this conversation offers both the inspiration and practical tools to make your main thing truly the main thing in your life. Visit empowerperformancestrategies.com to access free resources mentioned in this episode.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways of postdeployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
We are on here today, mondaymorning, with my friend Aaron
Lloyd.
Aaron is a director, speaker,certified one-star dual elite
neuron coding specialist.
He grew up in the inner citywith a single parent, learning
resilience and dedication, andthat shows up every day with my
friend Aaron.
That's for sure Passionateabout personal transformation
(01:09):
and mindset mastery, and hehelps individuals break through
mental barriers to achieve theirgoals.
So I'm really happy to haveAaron on here today.
Aaron, if you want to sharejust a little bit more about
yourself, Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
What's up guys.
My name is Aaron, originallyfrom Bridgeport, connecticut,
which is an inner city, grew upin a single parent home, oldest
of three, and am primarily anactor by profession and trade
and passion, and my purpose isto lead normal coding
specialists and really dedicatedon doing everything I can and
being everything I can with thisgift of life that we have, not
only for myself but everybody Icome across.
(01:43):
That's a little bit about me.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Absolutely, man.
And you know I forgot tomention forgive me
great-grandfather.
Military Purple Heart recipient.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Great great-grandfather.
Yeah, Purple Heart, World War I.
There's an extra great in there, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Thank you for that.
So bless you, sir, thank you.
So we're going to talk aboutwhat's making the main thing.
The main thing and I love whenyou came up with this title, man
so let's talk about that.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
What does that mean to you?
Making the main thing the mainthing to me means being able to
prioritize your life.
I think a lot of people live ina kind of checkbox life and you
know that works for a littlebit.
I think what is more effectiveat least that I've found is what
matters most.
So when I think about makingthe main thing the main thing in
terms of what your vision is,your life, making the main thing
the main thing means exactlythat in order to get to where
(02:37):
you want to be, in order to bewho you want to be, what's
important today to help you getto that place, or are you
surrounded by distractions andthings that aren't going to be
effective for you?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Absolutely, and let's talk about you know, really
quick, actually, before we dothat, I forgot, I got distracted
.
So on the top right cornerthere's a blue QR code takes you
to empower performancestrategies Again, empower
performance strategiescom,specifically for the listeners
on the podcast forums.
It takes you to the websitewhere we have free e-books that
(03:08):
I've written and groups forveterans and their families.
You know, be part of themission.
There's all kinds of tools andstrategies in there.
So reach out and be part of themission, like I said, if you
will please Aaron with that said.
So what are some tips, tricks,tools that help you in your life
or that you help coach peoplewith?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Some tools and strategies in general, or about
making the main thing.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
The main, thing, the main, thing, my friend.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah.
So I think one of the mosteffective tools that I've found
that has worked for me is everyweek on Sundays, typically is I
plan my week for that upcomingweek, and the thing that really
kind of set the edge for me isthat little 2% shift is when I'm
color blocking and puttingthings in my calendar.
(03:55):
I resource it, meaning I clickon that actual thing, and what I
mean by that is in the morning.
If let's say I want to work outbecause making the main thing
main thing, and we, we, whereI'll speak for myself.
Sometimes in the past I mightsay I, I want to work out
because making the main thingmain thing, and we, we, where
I'll speak for myself.
Sometimes in the past I mightsay I'm going to work out, but
then I'm looking for my keys,and that takes about 10 minutes
or five minutes.
I'm looking for my shoes.
So resourcing means okay, thenight prior I'm going to have my
(04:15):
lemon water by my bed.
I'm going to make sure theshoes are here, so I'm not
investing time on distractionsor things that aren't going to
be as seamless as possible.
Now, am I perfect about thisall the time?
No, I don't want to make itseem like I'm a robot, but the
idea in general, making the mainthing the main thing is having
that plan for my plan, so Idon't have to think about, okay,
what am I going to weartomorrow, or things like that.
(04:35):
Everything's kind of alreadyset and helps me create my life
in a more seamless way.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, I love that and I do something very similar.
I you know my calendar.
You know people look at mycalendar, especially with three
businesses, and they're like howdo you do all that?
But if I don't do that,everything goes awry.
You know, by just by just beingkind of pre organized and set
up for success, right.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
And that sounds like that's what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
That's exactly right.
Yeah, yeah, so so.
So what do you?
Let's go, let's go back onestep.
So how do you figure out andwe're talking about, you know,
specifically veterans and theirand their families what would
other?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
people say about what you're really passionate about.
What are your gifts?
If you're unaware of your gifts, you can ask around like what
do you think I'm great at?
What do you find that I'm goodat?
Think about your friends, yourfriend circles.
What do your friends come toyou often for?
That really lights you up, whatmakes time pass?
Really, that's important.
And then, once you have that,you're keyed in on your passion.
Then what do you value?
(05:34):
Because the main thing foreverybody might be something
different.
If you want to be like anArnold Schwarzenegger, what you
value is making sure your body'ssuper fit.
You're into fitness and healthat a different level than
somebody that is not at thatlevel.
But if you wanted to be like MrOlympia or Mrs Olympia or
something like that, then whatyou would do is you have to have
the main thing be in regard towhat you're into Really figuring
(05:59):
that out.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
right is they don't know especially.
You know a lot of the storiesare different, but the patterns
are very similar.
Getting out of the military,most people in the military now
joined for purpose, forfulfillment.
They, you know, they, they wantthat, they, they need that.
You know, in a sense.
And so how do we really?
I know you said talk, talk to.
(06:21):
Uh, you know what keeps you up.
I guess you didn't say that,but what keeps you up at late
and gets you up early?
Right?
So, asking your friends and yourfamily hey, what am I good at,
what do you see in me?
And this is something thathappened with me actually a
couple of years ago, withneuroencoding and coaching and
so on.
It started this whole journeyI'm on now was my wife, you know
(06:44):
.
She said you know, susan, shewas like, hey, that lights you
up, you always like helpingpeople and coaching people and
stuff, you know, so it.
And she was so right.
Yeah, so let's talk about thatmore.
Who would you say, hey, I can'tfigure this out, I don't know.
And let's keep fear and fear,rejection, all the different
things out of it right now.
(07:04):
But what, what key elements arepeople when you say, hey, talk
to these people specifically inyour life.
For me, for me personallybecause somebody may connect
with exactly what you did.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah.
So for me I was very blessedbecause I knew at a very young
age maybe not what my purposewas, but I didn't know what I
was interested in, what I waspassionate about.
So for me, when I was in thirdgrade, my teacher, ms Patterson
I was a music teacher.
So my grandmother, she used toreally put me on to the jazz
people Etta Fitzgerald and LouisArmstrong so I had an interest
(07:41):
in music and all these thingsand had a very old soul.
So I wanted to be a musician.
Originally I would have visionsof me being in New York playing
a sax and stuff like that.
So I got into a music class andmy music teacher, ms Patterson
she's the person that introducedme to acting, because in that
class, that music class one dayshe said, hey, we're going to do
a Thanksgiving play guys.
And I looked left and she thenasked who wants to play the lead
(08:05):
?
And I looked left.
I didn't know what a lead was.
I looked left, looked right,and it was like one of those
moments in time where timestands still for me and I rose
my hand, I said I'll do it andthat became my journey of acting
.
That at that time it was justfun.
It was something I waspassionate about.
I think this is going to get tothe heart of what you're asking
as well.
So at that point I was blessedto know what I was passionate
about.
(08:26):
So, as you explore for militaryanybody, as you explore your own
life, what really made you feelpassionate For you?
With Susan?
She said you like helpingpeople.
That might be your gifting,that might be your spiritual
gifting.
So as you explore your life andthese different milestones in
your life, I was passionateabout this.
This is a time that I reallyfound fun all these different
things.
There are people that createorigamis and they really are
(08:47):
passionate about that and theyhave business models out of that
.
So it doesn't matter how smallyou think it is.
It doesn't have to be somethinghuge.
That's your passion.
That's one piece.
Then the second piece is whatis your purpose?
And I think when you align yourpurpose to your passion, then
that's amazing.
That's something different.
And that moment for me was whenI went to, when I was in sixth
grade, that same music class.
(09:07):
We took a field trip to thehigh school I would later attend
and it was basically a group ofstudents that would student
write, student direct andstudent perform, all these plays
based to, to share with theeducation and the youth things
that were plaguing the city.
So you had things like teenpregnancy, stds, all these
different things that they wereeducating people through
(09:28):
performing.
So then I made that association.
I was like, oh, not only isthis fun, but I can actually
help people as well, and that'sbeen a through line with my life
.
Now I have the gift and talentof acting and for me, my purpose
and the why behind that hasalways helped me persevere,
essentially because it's linkedto my purpose.
(09:50):
So if somebody doesn't know whattheir purpose is, what I would
ask you to tune in with is askyour heart.
Once you understand what you'repassionate about, ask your
heart, literally breathe intoyour heart and ask your heart
because your heart has adifferent kind of intelligence.
They say there's three brains.
You got your brain, your gutbrain and then your heart.
Your heart has differentneurons and things like that,
and when you tap on what yourbrain, what your heart, just
literally put your hand on yourheart and you know.
(10:11):
And breathe into your heart andask what is my purpose?
And if you don't know what yourpurpose is, who is people that
really inspired you with theimpact that they've made, and if
you're in the military, maybethere's a general that you
really like.
What does that general impactLike?
If you, if some, if you'retelling your grandchildren the
impact of that general and whatthey did, what, what, what
(10:32):
impact did they create?
Was it leadership?
Maybe your purpose is being aleader, a leader of people, and
that might be a purpose thatgives you that spark, that gives
you something to do, and youlink that with your passion of
helping people.
Well, I want to be a leader ofmen.
I'm going to leader men.
I'm going to read every book onleadership.
I'm do everything I can to leadmyself and make the main thing,
the main thing from there.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely Love a lot of that
and I know the story with withthe music teacher and things,
and it's we.
I think, if you look back and,like you, most people have those
stories where somebody impactedthem in that sense.
Right, you know, that createsthat passion and that drive,
because they see something inyou and everybody wants to be
(11:15):
seen and, of course, when youcouple that with just something
that interests you, it blows itup.
That's what I've seen.
Yeah, so I'm super happy aboutthat teacher because he wouldn't
be here right now.
Yeah, amen, amen.
You need to get Ms Patterson onhere with you.
(11:38):
We do.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
We do.
Yeah, let me hit her up, comeon.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We'll wait, we'll wait, go ahead, hit her up, come
on this podcast.
We'll wait, we'll wait, goahead, I'll judge the flag.
So you know, I think, I thinkit's really, you know, just,
it's inspiring.
First of all, you know, you, ata young age, knew there's
people at 70 years old thatstill don't know right, and I
and I wonder is it distractions?
And I want to get into this um,is it distractions or is it
(12:05):
people just not taking the timeto breathe into your heart and
feel your heart?
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
I think it can be a combination of those, and I
would add, allowing other peopleto dictate to you what your
purpose is.
If somebody had, like a youknow, I think you should be an
engineer, or I think you shouldbe this, and it could be parents
or friends or whatever it is,and they do that because they
think that's what they'resupposed to do.
I think that can be adistraction, which are what
(12:33):
you're, what you just brought up, so that could be in the
distraction piece.
And and also for somebody,somebody that didn't want to be
distracted, I think what causesthat is really not tuning in
with what I think, two things.
I think finding a biggerpurpose for life or a bigger
(12:54):
reason for being here can alwaysequip you with your purpose.
I find and I don't know if it'strue for everybody I find that
if you're living only foryourself, you're probably not
going to be tapped into yourpurpose as much.
I think any purpose and any ofthe people, all the great
leaders and all these peoplethat we really look up to,
they've all shined bright forothers in some way.
(13:14):
Right Now there's there'sobviously people that others
centric and people that are morethe self-centric, and that's
okay, that's different models ofworld and stuff like that.
If the question is your purpose, if you are more me focused,
then maybe your purpose is beingthe best you that you can be
and that can be the main thingthat you make.
The main thing and and you haveto understand this comes back
(13:36):
to your values and your, your,your beliefs and things like
that.
So if you really value that,then make sure you're not
distracted by what somebody saysyou can and cannot do.
If you want to be the bestversion of you, if you want to
be whatever it is, then justassess and I would, I would, I
also would add that anythingthat you wanted to create,
unless something likegroundbreaking has already been
(13:58):
done by somebody or already beenovercome.
So seek out those people, seekout those books, those things
that can help you elevate yourlife and get to the results that
you want to get to.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, absolutely love that, and you know, I think.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Like you nailed it right.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
It's the people that stand out in the world, are the
people that are really servingother people.
They're not focused on thembuying themselves a car.
They're not themultimillion-dollar house
whatever the case may be, youcan have all those and serve
people too.
Just FYI.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Absolutely yes.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Let's keep that real.
But when you're serving otherpeople, that fulfillment, that
joy that you bring into yourlife and when you do that I'm
going to add to this is it takesaway all of the not all of it.
Let me not say that.
It takes away a lot of thespinning sideways and the spin
(14:53):
cycle in your own head whenyou're focused on serving other
people and not focus on yourself.
I agree, yeah, tell me, tell meif you will.
You know, at a time and we'regoing to get again more into
distractions we're about halfwaythrough the show.
So, uh, tell me a time thatthat that was true for you, that
man, because you're servingsomebody else like nothing else,
(15:14):
that your little problems,you're a little like my
lighting's not working right.
It's like, okay, whatever youknow, but give me something that
was profound, if you will, ifyou can think of something for
you.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Distractions.
So the immediate thought, firstthought, best thought, is when
I was sleeping on the floor inthe Bronx and things like that I
tended to, even though I'm on asoul level, I had a pull for
something more.
I would often wallow in my ownproblems, so that became my
distraction, because, instead offocusing on the possibilities
of what was possible, I wouldsometimes wallow in what was my
(15:49):
present reality, and that's justreal.
Those moments, those darknights of the soul.
How am I going to get pastthese things?
That really was impacting me.
And then also more on apractical level.
We live in a distractioneconomy, so I've definitely
woken up and just scrolled on onsocial media and stuff like
that and just let that distractme and then that's the start of
your day.
So then that the way you startyour day is.
(16:10):
You know, typically how it goesthroughout the day.
Another major distraction.
So, between social media andalso, I want to just be real,
like at some points, juststraight up laziness, not
wanting to, not wanting to getup and do the things that I
needed to do in order to get towhere I wanted to be, cause
that's the difference betweenthe difference between
successful people and peoplethat are not.
(16:30):
It's not that successful peoplelike and enjoy doing the things
that they have to do.
It's that they're doing thethings that nobody else wants to
do to be able to have a betterfuture that nobody else will
have if they're not doing thethings, so that I think that can
be a distraction of like, oh, Idon't feel like doing it.
And then also, just like youknow, love all people out of
soul.
Love we're all.
We're all God's creatures.
If you're around people who arejust making excuses and and uh
(16:54):
and and kind of just complainingall the time, that can rub off
where I've just I don't know who, I don't know the speaker's
name.
I want to give this personcredit, but I was watching
something the other day and theymentioned that I don't know the
exact statistics.
They said if you want to be ahigh achiever, literally by you
just being around high achievers, it increases your, your
potential by 20% of having thosekinds of things because you're
(17:17):
around other high achievers.
But for other people that thatare not like that, that complain
and stuff like that, it rubsoff 30%.
So negativity has a much moreimpact on us than than than high
achievers, however you definethat, so those can also be a
distraction, right?
So?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
yeah, yeah, I love.
I love that you say thatbecause you know, you, you, you
are the what is it?
Seven people that you're aroundI've heard five, six, seven, I
mean people say different things, but you are, you are the
average of the.
I'm going to say seven peoplethat you surround yourself with
Right, and I'm always going tosay I don't want to be the
smartest guy in the room, I wantother people to be there to
(17:55):
raise me up to be better.
And when you have the people inthe room and they're negative
and they're complaining andthey're in victim mode, and it's
this person's fault and thatperson's fault and they'll take
responsibility for any thingsthat they're doing, like laying
in bed all day, eating funyunsor watching Game of Thrones for
(18:18):
the fourth time.
It's, it's.
It's really got to think aboutthose, those distractions.
Are you the distraction?
And you know what we all atsome point?
There's a difference betweenlaziness and self-care.
Yes, yes, yes, that's, yes sowhen you talk about that a
little bit, because I know it'sa fine line and it's what
(18:41):
definition we give it forourselves, right?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
That's true, everybody has their own
thresholds for the amount ofwork that they will do.
I'll start just by saying this,though, that they will do.
I'll start just by saying this,though regardless of your
beliefs, even God took a day off.
If you're familiar with thestory of God, in seven days,
right On the seventh day, hetook a day off.
So if this entity, thisomnipresent, omnipotent being,
(19:08):
took a day off to rest, doesn'tit make sense that we would need
to rest too?
Right, and everybody hasdifferent thresholds in terms of
what they can do.
So I think it's reallyunderstanding your capacity and
then sometimes stretching yourcapacity too, for that 1% better
every day, because if youimprove just 1% per day, then by
the end of the year that's a365% increase in your potential
(19:31):
and in your results.
I think, listening to your body,tuning in with your body, and
understanding that in our modernsociety we're not in always a
fight or flight situation, wedon't have a saber tooth and
things like that.
It sometimes can feel that waybecause of you know, whatever
deadlines and this, I have toget these things done.
I think by proper preparation,you can mitigate that.
Not always things come up andyou have to, kind of you know,
(19:53):
do what you have to do sometimes, but in terms of just just, uh,
you know, not being distracted,I think that's that's super,
super keyed in on on, not onknowing that that fine line,
listening to your body and alsogiving yourself the grace to
understand that you have torecharge.
If you kept your car runningall day, you eventually just
(20:15):
going to break down.
You're not going to get to yourdestination, you have to rest,
put some gas in there and that'sjust the ebb and flow of life.
There's green lights, there'sred lights, there's yellow
lights.
I think just understanding foryourself what that is can really
be beneficial.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, absolutely, thank you.
Thank you for talking aboutthat.
There are so often that we howdo I say that as overachievers,
um, we just push and push andpush, or we feel guilty for
saying oh, I could have donemore, I could have done more.
Yeah.
What if you told yourself I'vedone enough and tomorrow I can
(20:49):
do more?
That's great.
And take that little power napyes, you know, there's times I
come home because we ownmultiple companies and I don't
work.
I love what I do.
I still call it play,especially.
I mean this stuff, I'm notworking man.
I mean this is just, this iswhat fills the cup, you know.
And so there's times it's like,hey, honey, I need 20 minutes,
(21:14):
I need 30 minutes, and just laydown, take a power nap, get up
and you're raring to go again.
But just realizing that in yourbody, like you said just hey,
you know what, you just need aminute, you just need a minute.
Take, take a breather.
It might not be 20 minutes,maybe an hour, maybe a day.
Yes, you need to recharge yourDelco, if you will, and fill
that cup so that you can do more, because you're going to be
(21:35):
depleted and you're not going tobe the best and and come out
the best for people that needyou.
Yeah, you agree with you'rewith that.
So what?
So give me some things aaronlloyd does to refill his cup.
I'm totally.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Hey, man, I, I I'm the power, I, I am a sleep king.
I like a good nap.
I like a good nap.
I definitely like a good nap atthe appropriate times.
There's also something calledthe Pomodoro, I think it's
Pomodoro, so you work for like30 minutes but then take 10
minutes to relax and do nothingand then another 30 minutes Also
for myself.
(22:09):
I like to give myself a day ofjust like grace, of just
relaxing, and the way I kind ofgive myself the grace of
relaxing is exactly what Josephteaches us You've done enough
like propays yourself for thesmall successes and I just have
faith that the bigger things aregoing to be there and I don't
have to work to prove myself todo that, just laying the gifts
that God has given you and keepon moving forward.
(22:30):
And then practically also someself-care of like, um, getting
your, your, your, your sleep ingetting your workout, in your
fitness, in making sure Imeditate, I pray, do all those
different things.
Those are all forms ofself-care for me.
Even my birthday just passedand I just gave.
I said, yo, I'm going to go geta pedicure because my heels
were looking a little chapped.
You know what I'm saying.
They were scratching the bedsheets a little bit.
(22:52):
I had to take care of that.
I went and got a nice littlepedicure.
Those kinds of things mattertoo.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I love when you say that brother, I got to tell you
something.
Every once in a while thathappens, I'm like oh my God.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
What's up with that?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
It's fine.
I didn't know other men dealtwith that man.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Thank you.
She'd be breaking andeverything.
My God, sitting here likerazors on your heels.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I'm sure.
I'm sure your wife enjoys whenyou get your pedicures.
Oh, that's funny.
I just do it myself, man, Ihave to never mind.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Let's not get into this right, okay, okay, okay,
cool cool I've got a grinderthat smooths that stuff out.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
You know, cool, all right.
All right.
We've shared way too much noweverybody go get your pedicures.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
We're saying I'm joking, no right?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
uh, I I'll share anything.
I don't care.
Judge away, man the world Idon't care, I got better things
to worry about, like helpingpeople, hey.
So with that said, um, so let'sget it back into more
distractions.
Let's go down a timeline here.
We figured out what our thingis right, so we know what we're
(24:04):
going to make our thing thething right.
So distractions we have phones,we have Game of Thrones, we
have all these things.
So what are some ways that wejust stay away from?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
those distractions.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
We talk about scheduling ourselves and making
sure you know we can stayfocused that way.
How do we give me some otherthoughts on?
Because this is one of thethings that I find distractions
become excuses, or excuses ordistractions, call it, whichever
way you want to right.
So what are some ways to justreally stay focused on the thing
?
Speaker 3 (24:39):
I think, practically there's two things that I've
done in the past.
So I have a time limit On yourphone.
There's a way you can put timelimits on apps.
So for social media, forInstagram, it's five minutes for
me, and then you know, it'llcome up with a little alert hey,
you've been off five minutes.
And then you know I click itoff and like, okay, that's my
(24:59):
time for today.
Or I might be like, oh, I gotto do more, something else I got
to do, and I'll ignore it, butat least alerts my brain that,
hey, five minutes have passed,something else for, like you
know, the, the colors and thedings and all these kinds of
things that come up colorful, sothen it's a little bit more
boring to look at, you know.
So that might be a helpfulthing to look at too.
How do you make like these appsgrayscale so they look totally
(25:22):
boring?
They're not, they're not reallygoing to be as colorful and
distracting.
That's another way you can dothat.
So that's a social media pieceand a phone piece.
I think something else you cando is yes, that's right, sure,
you can do is, however yes,that's right, sure, I think.
I think another way you can,you can do this is uh, where was
oh, I had a point the dispatch,oh um, and the phones, oh okay.
(25:45):
So like distractions in termsof putting the phone away from
you, so like putting the phonein a drawer for high, high kind
of quality, if you know that youhave some work to do, put the
phone in a drawer somewhere.
And if you feel like, oh man,if people text me, they're not
going to know that I'm nottexting them back, you can just
let all your family, everybody,all your friends know hey, I'm
just going to be away for anhour.
(26:05):
If it's an emergency, it'sreally a mercy.
Then you know you haveemergency contacts that could
just you know, I think the alarm, the ring will go through the
silence or whatever, but youcould put things in your, in
your drawer away from you soyou're not as distracted.
I think another way to not bedistracted is to understand if
you are getting antsy.
Get up, do some jumping jacks,walk around, get into some
(26:26):
nature.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
And that's going to refresh you a little bit so you
come back refreshed and havethat nice little natural energy
boost.
Love that, I love all thosetips.
First of all, you teach me howto do the gray scale thing.
Okay, I didn't even know.
I mean, I've seen that before,but I didn't know, I didn't even
think about how the coloringand all that stuff it brings you
more into it and more excited.
That's a, that's an amazingpoint here.
Um, so I also want to throw inreal quick and then we're going
to, we're going to close up theshow.
But, um, you know, aaron, getoutside, listen to the birds,
(26:58):
listen.
You know I do this thing and Ilive on, you know, acres of of
property and so forth in a veryrural area and and and blessed
to do that.
But, um, sometimes you just gooutside, you turn your phone off
, you take your shoes off, youwalk through the grass or
whatever the case may be.
And there's some amazingphysical properties that happen
(27:21):
with that.
But when you're out there innature and you just stop and
look at the light that'shappening around you and you can
do this anywhere just so youknow, I'm just talking about my
experience.
You take off your shoes and justbe, yes, for five minutes, just
be and literally slow down andlook at all the life around you,
(27:42):
whether that be a bee, a fly, abutterfly, a hawk, you know,
whatever the case may be, theturkeys that are over there
making noise, you know.
Whatever it is In the city,there's turkeys too.
So you know there's stuff allaround.
We have turkeys.
When you slow down for a minuteand just be and just be for a
(28:02):
minute and see all the lifearound you, it is so, so, so,
just grounding, and like Charjust put up there A Char, by the
way I'm grounding with natureand it's just changes everything
, man, and you can literally doit anywhere.
So give me just for a secondsome things you do real quick,
(28:23):
for Just to pull down and bepresent.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
So I like to do exactly what you did.
So something that I recentlylearned to shout out to Yayoi,
because she taught me this Yayoiis a mutual friend there's
something where you can justliterally get into what's called
heart coherence.
We just literally breathe intoyour heart.
So, taking moments to breathe,checking with your body, like,
oh, am I feeling a littlestressed right now, am I feeling
whatever?
It is OK, identify what you'refeeling and then what would you
(28:49):
rather feel?
Then we have tools andtechniques as neuron coders to
be able to do that.
Grounding with nature sucks inNew York during the winter, so
I'm not always able to do that,but during the spring and winter
, spring and summer, Idefinitely like to go outside,
get around some trees, the birds, things like that.
Meditation is big for me, so Ido that a lot.
Prayer writing meditation isbig for me, so I do that a lot.
(29:12):
Prayer, um, writing, journalingfor the.
When did I start journaling?
I want to say for the past,like past, uh, maybe year I've
been journaling and that'sreally been grounding for me as
well.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
So it's journaling and doing those kinds of things
yeah, I, I love journaling, andthen when you look back um on
your thoughts and where you wereand stuff like that, it's kind
of twofold for me.
I love that Great, great tipthere.
So, aaron, we are so over timenow.
Well, man, great conversationthough.
Man, I love organicconversation, my friend.
(29:40):
So how do people reach you, myfriend?
Speaker 3 (29:44):
People can reach me at AaronEmpowerscom.
Tons of different services onthere as well.
So if you want to reach out, behappy to happy to connect.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Excellent.
And then, aaron, I know you dosome things monthly and so on
for groups to help actors andand and other people as well, so
tell us just real quick alittle bit about that.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yes, so I have a service called audition
trackerscom and for actors.
What you can do with that isyou get to track your auditions
because what you measure getsdone.
So you're able to do that.
And what's empowering about thesystem is that each month,
biweekly, for active members, Igive them two world-class
trainings, either bringing inexperts or coaching them, to
help them on their journeys inlife and in their careers.
(30:25):
So you get that included withyour auditionition Tracker
subscription for just $12.99.
Or if you want to just get thereplays of some of these, it's
just $9.99 or $27, depending onif you're inactive or active.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Excellent, very cool.
So if we can give us three tipsto get veterans and their
families further faster, Threetips for veterans getting
further, faster.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
One tap into your purpose.
Tap into your purpose.
If you don't know your purpose,identify it.
Get heart coherent.
Get clear on what you want todo If it's more self-centered.
Do you want to be a greatleader?
Do you want to be the exampleepitome of grit?
What is it that you want?
Get tapped in with that.
That's going to give you lifepurpose.
It's going to give peoplearound you purpose as well, and
you can find ways to do that andhave something to live for as
(31:07):
well.
And you can find ways to dothat and have something to live
for.
The second piece is, I would say, make the main thing.
The main thing which this hasbeen about, and I know I don't
have too much time to share this, but I'm going to share a quick
story.
There's two monks, two monksthat were walking home from the
marketplace to the temple, andas they're going to the temple,
they had to cross a river, andalong this river they came
across a bum, and this bum hadsores all over their body, sores
on their feet, and the bum saidplease, please, gentlemen, I
(31:28):
need some help, I need to go seemy family, I need to cross this
river and the older monk,without even thinking, picked
this guy up and brought himacross and set him down.
The bum was very happy, very,very grateful.
As they got to the temple, theyounger monk said you know,
you're not supposed to do that.
How dare you?
You're not supposed to do that.
And then immediately the oldermonk said you know, the
challenge is I set that man downafter I got off the river.
(31:50):
The challenge is you're stillsitting with him.
He's still on your back rightnow.
So when you're making the mainthing, the main thing, be clear
about what it is that'simportant.
What matters today, Not thechecklist.
You can have the checklists, asthat's what you need to get
things done.
I think the more effectivequestion is what matters most
for you to get to where you wantto be.
The third piece is get heartcoherent, get into your body a
little bit.
In the military I'm not anactive veteran myself my
(32:13):
understanding from half militaryis that it's very body
intensive.
You got to be in your body.
You got to be hypervigilant.
You are disciplined.
You got to do what you need todo because you're protecting and
serving right.
That's important.
I think you can still maintainthat and also get into your body
a little bit of your heart andyour emotions, because that's
going to make you even moreeffective.
And what do I mean by that?
A father's love I'm not afather myself, but a parent's
(32:36):
love for their children that'sgoing to activate something pure
, very strong in you that comesfrom a heart space.
I believe, when you are in tapwith your emotions, when you're
working on yourself, when you'redoing everything you can to be
a more effective leader, notonly for the men or women that
you're leading, but also foryour family and the people that
need that side of you as well.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Love it, absolutely love it, my friend.
Thank you so much again forbeing on.
We'll schedule you back becauseI think we need to talk about
grit.
Something's telling me thatjust came up.
We Something's telling me thatjust came up.
We need to talk about grit.
Let's do it, amen, man.
So time, most precious resourcewe have as human beings.
Aaron, thank you again forcoming on and sharing your
wisdom, your brilliance and yourlight Always, always a pleasure
(33:19):
to have you on, my friend,thank you.
Thank you, brother.
All right, man, we're out,we're out.
Peace.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Peace.
Thank you for joining us onanother insightful journey of
your Thoughts your Realitypodcast with your host, michael
Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you To dive deeperinto empowering your thoughts
and enhancing your reality.
Visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts, shapeyour reality.
Visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts, shapeyour reality, so make them count
(33:53):
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways of postdeployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
We are on here today, mondaymorning, with my friend Aaron
Lloyd.
Aaron is a director, speaker,certified one-star dual elite
neuron coding specialist.
He grew up in the inner citywith a single parent, learning
resilience and dedication, andthat shows up every day with my
friend Aaron.
That's for sure Passionateabout personal transformation
(01:09):
and mindset mastery, and hehelps individuals break through
mental barriers to achieve theirgoals.
So I'm really happy to haveAaron on here today.
Aaron, if you want to sharejust a little bit more about
yourself, Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
What's up guys.
My name is Aaron, originallyfrom Bridgeport, connecticut,
which is an inner city, grew upin a single parent home, oldest
of three, and am primarily anactor by profession and trade
and passion, and my purpose isto lead normal coding
specialists and really dedicatedon doing everything I can and
being everything I can with thisgift of life that we have, not
only for myself but everybody Icome across.
(01:43):
That's a little bit about me.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Absolutely, man.
And you know I forgot tomention forgive me
great-grandfather.
Military Purple Heart recipient.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Great great-grandfather.
Yeah, Purple Heart, World War I.
There's an extra great in there, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Thank you for that.
So bless you, sir, thank you.
So we're going to talk aboutwhat's making the main thing.
The main thing and I love whenyou came up with this title, man
so let's talk about that.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
What does that mean to you?
Making the main thing the mainthing to me means being able to
prioritize your life.
I think a lot of people live ina kind of checkbox life and you
know that works for a littlebit.
I think what is more effectiveat least that I've found is what
matters most.
So when I think about makingthe main thing the main thing in
terms of what your vision is,your life, making the main thing
the main thing means exactlythat in order to get to where
(02:37):
you want to be, in order to bewho you want to be, what's
important today to help you getto that place, or are you
surrounded by distractions andthings that aren't going to be
effective for you?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Absolutely, and let's talk about you know, really
quick, actually, before we dothat, I forgot, I got distracted
.
So on the top right cornerthere's a blue QR code takes you
to empower performancestrategies Again, empower
performance strategiescom,specifically for the listeners
on the podcast forums.
It takes you to the websitewhere we have free e-books that
(03:08):
I've written and groups forveterans and their families.
You know, be part of themission.
There's all kinds of tools andstrategies in there.
So reach out and be part of themission, like I said, if you
will please Aaron with that said.
So what are some tips, tricks,tools that help you in your life
or that you help coach peoplewith?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Some tools and strategies in general, or about
making the main thing.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
The main, thing, the main, thing, my friend.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah.
So I think one of the mosteffective tools that I've found
that has worked for me is everyweek on Sundays, typically is I
plan my week for that upcomingweek, and the thing that really
kind of set the edge for me isthat little 2% shift is when I'm
color blocking and puttingthings in my calendar.
(03:55):
I resource it, meaning I clickon that actual thing, and what I
mean by that is in the morning.
If let's say I want to work outbecause making the main thing
main thing, and we, we, whereI'll speak for myself.
Sometimes in the past I mightsay I, I want to work out
because making the main thingmain thing, and we, we, where
I'll speak for myself.
Sometimes in the past I mightsay I'm going to work out, but
then I'm looking for my keys,and that takes about 10 minutes
or five minutes.
I'm looking for my shoes.
So resourcing means okay, thenight prior I'm going to have my
(04:15):
lemon water by my bed.
I'm going to make sure theshoes are here, so I'm not
investing time on distractionsor things that aren't going to
be as seamless as possible.
Now, am I perfect about thisall the time?
No, I don't want to make itseem like I'm a robot, but the
idea in general, making the mainthing the main thing is having
that plan for my plan, so Idon't have to think about, okay,
what am I going to weartomorrow, or things like that.
(04:35):
Everything's kind of alreadyset and helps me create my life
in a more seamless way.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, I love that and I do something very similar.
I you know my calendar.
You know people look at mycalendar, especially with three
businesses, and they're like howdo you do all that?
But if I don't do that,everything goes awry.
You know, by just by just beingkind of pre organized and set
up for success, right.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
And that sounds like that's what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
That's exactly right.
Yeah, yeah, so so.
So what do you?
Let's go, let's go back onestep.
So how do you figure out andwe're talking about, you know,
specifically veterans and theirand their families what would
other?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
people say about what you're really passionate about.
What are your gifts?
If you're unaware of your gifts, you can ask around like what
do you think I'm great at?
What do you find that I'm goodat?
Think about your friends, yourfriend circles.
What do your friends come toyou often for?
That really lights you up, whatmakes time pass?
Really, that's important.
And then, once you have that,you're keyed in on your passion.
Then what do you value?
(05:34):
Because the main thing foreverybody might be something
different.
If you want to be like anArnold Schwarzenegger, what you
value is making sure your body'ssuper fit.
You're into fitness and healthat a different level than
somebody that is not at thatlevel.
But if you wanted to be like MrOlympia or Mrs Olympia or
something like that, then whatyou would do is you have to have
the main thing be in regard towhat you're into Really figuring
(05:59):
that out.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
right is they don't know especially.
You know a lot of the storiesare different, but the patterns
are very similar.
Getting out of the military,most people in the military now
joined for purpose, forfulfillment.
They, you know, they, they wantthat, they, they need that.
You know, in a sense.
And so how do we really?
I know you said talk, talk to.
(06:21):
Uh, you know what keeps you up.
I guess you didn't say that,but what keeps you up at late
and gets you up early?
Right?
So, asking your friends and yourfamily hey, what am I good at,
what do you see in me?
And this is something thathappened with me actually a
couple of years ago, withneuroencoding and coaching and
so on.
It started this whole journeyI'm on now was my wife, you know
(06:44):
.
She said you know, susan, shewas like, hey, that lights you
up, you always like helpingpeople and coaching people and
stuff, you know, so it.
And she was so right.
Yeah, so let's talk about thatmore.
Who would you say, hey, I can'tfigure this out, I don't know.
And let's keep fear and fear,rejection, all the different
things out of it right now.
(07:04):
But what, what key elements arepeople when you say, hey, talk
to these people specifically inyour life.
For me, for me personallybecause somebody may connect
with exactly what you did.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah.
So for me I was very blessedbecause I knew at a very young
age maybe not what my purposewas, but I didn't know what I
was interested in, what I waspassionate about.
So for me, when I was in thirdgrade, my teacher, ms Patterson
I was a music teacher.
So my grandmother, she used toreally put me on to the jazz
people Etta Fitzgerald and LouisArmstrong so I had an interest
(07:41):
in music and all these thingsand had a very old soul.
So I wanted to be a musician.
Originally I would have visionsof me being in New York playing
a sax and stuff like that.
So I got into a music class andmy music teacher, ms Patterson
she's the person that introducedme to acting, because in that
class, that music class one dayshe said, hey, we're going to do
a Thanksgiving play guys.
And I looked left and she thenasked who wants to play the lead
(08:05):
?
And I looked left.
I didn't know what a lead was.
I looked left, looked right,and it was like one of those
moments in time where timestands still for me and I rose
my hand, I said I'll do it andthat became my journey of acting
.
That at that time it was justfun.
It was something I waspassionate about.
I think this is going to get tothe heart of what you're asking
as well.
So at that point I was blessedto know what I was passionate
about.
(08:26):
So, as you explore for militaryanybody, as you explore your own
life, what really made you feelpassionate For you?
With Susan?
She said you like helpingpeople.
That might be your gifting,that might be your spiritual
gifting.
So as you explore your life andthese different milestones in
your life, I was passionateabout this.
This is a time that I reallyfound fun all these different
things.
There are people that createorigamis and they really are
(08:47):
passionate about that and theyhave business models out of that
.
So it doesn't matter how smallyou think it is.
It doesn't have to be somethinghuge.
That's your passion.
That's one piece.
Then the second piece is whatis your purpose?
And I think when you align yourpurpose to your passion, then
that's amazing.
That's something different.
And that moment for me was whenI went to, when I was in sixth
grade, that same music class.
(09:07):
We took a field trip to thehigh school I would later attend
and it was basically a group ofstudents that would student
write, student direct andstudent perform, all these plays
based to, to share with theeducation and the youth things
that were plaguing the city.
So you had things like teenpregnancy, stds, all these
different things that they wereeducating people through
(09:28):
performing.
So then I made that association.
I was like, oh, not only isthis fun, but I can actually
help people as well, and that'sbeen a through line with my life
.
Now I have the gift and talentof acting and for me, my purpose
and the why behind that hasalways helped me persevere,
essentially because it's linkedto my purpose.
(09:50):
So if somebody doesn't know whattheir purpose is, what I would
ask you to tune in with is askyour heart.
Once you understand what you'repassionate about, ask your
heart, literally breathe intoyour heart and ask your heart
because your heart has adifferent kind of intelligence.
They say there's three brains.
You got your brain, your gutbrain and then your heart.
Your heart has differentneurons and things like that,
and when you tap on what yourbrain, what your heart, just
literally put your hand on yourheart and you know.
(10:11):
And breathe into your heart andask what is my purpose?
And if you don't know what yourpurpose is, who is people that
really inspired you with theimpact that they've made, and if
you're in the military, maybethere's a general that you
really like.
What does that general impactLike?
If you, if some, if you'retelling your grandchildren the
impact of that general and whatthey did, what, what, what
(10:32):
impact did they create?
Was it leadership?
Maybe your purpose is being aleader, a leader of people, and
that might be a purpose thatgives you that spark, that gives
you something to do, and youlink that with your passion of
helping people.
Well, I want to be a leader ofmen.
I'm going to leader men.
I'm going to read every book onleadership.
I'm do everything I can to leadmyself and make the main thing,
the main thing from there.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely Love a lot of that
and I know the story with withthe music teacher and things,
and it's we.
I think, if you look back and,like you, most people have those
stories where somebody impactedthem in that sense.
Right, you know, that createsthat passion and that drive,
because they see something inyou and everybody wants to be
(11:15):
seen and, of course, when youcouple that with just something
that interests you, it blows itup.
That's what I've seen.
Yeah, so I'm super happy aboutthat teacher because he wouldn't
be here right now.
Yeah, amen, amen.
You need to get Ms Patterson onhere with you.
(11:38):
We do.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
We do.
Yeah, let me hit her up, comeon.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We'll wait, we'll wait, go ahead, hit her up, come
on this podcast.
We'll wait, we'll wait, goahead, I'll judge the flag.
So you know, I think, I thinkit's really, you know, just,
it's inspiring.
First of all, you know, you, ata young age, knew there's
people at 70 years old thatstill don't know right, and I
and I wonder is it distractions?
And I want to get into this um,is it distractions or is it
(12:05):
people just not taking the timeto breathe into your heart and
feel your heart?
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
I think it can be a combination of those, and I
would add, allowing other peopleto dictate to you what your
purpose is.
If somebody had, like a youknow, I think you should be an
engineer, or I think you shouldbe this, and it could be parents
or friends or whatever it is,and they do that because they
think that's what they'resupposed to do.
I think that can be adistraction, which are what
(12:33):
you're, what you just brought up, so that could be in the
distraction piece.
And and also for somebody,somebody that didn't want to be
distracted, I think what causesthat is really not tuning in
with what I think, two things.
I think finding a biggerpurpose for life or a bigger
(12:54):
reason for being here can alwaysequip you with your purpose.
I find and I don't know if it'strue for everybody I find that
if you're living only foryourself, you're probably not
going to be tapped into yourpurpose as much.
I think any purpose and any ofthe people, all the great
leaders and all these peoplethat we really look up to,
they've all shined bright forothers in some way.
(13:14):
Right Now there's there'sobviously people that others
centric and people that are morethe self-centric, and that's
okay, that's different models ofworld and stuff like that.
If the question is your purpose, if you are more me focused,
then maybe your purpose is beingthe best you that you can be
and that can be the main thingthat you make.
The main thing and and you haveto understand this comes back
(13:36):
to your values and your, your,your beliefs and things like
that.
So if you really value that,then make sure you're not
distracted by what somebody saysyou can and cannot do.
If you want to be the bestversion of you, if you want to
be whatever it is, then justassess and I would, I would, I
also would add that anythingthat you wanted to create,
unless something likegroundbreaking has already been
(13:58):
done by somebody or already beenovercome.
So seek out those people, seekout those books, those things
that can help you elevate yourlife and get to the results that
you want to get to.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, absolutely love that, and you know, I think.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Like you nailed it right.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
It's the people that stand out in the world, are the
people that are really servingother people.
They're not focused on thembuying themselves a car.
They're not themultimillion-dollar house
whatever the case may be, youcan have all those and serve
people too.
Just FYI.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Absolutely yes.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Let's keep that real.
But when you're serving otherpeople, that fulfillment, that
joy that you bring into yourlife and when you do that I'm
going to add to this is it takesaway all of the not all of it.
Let me not say that.
It takes away a lot of thespinning sideways and the spin
(14:53):
cycle in your own head whenyou're focused on serving other
people and not focus on yourself.
I agree, yeah, tell me, tell meif you will.
You know, at a time and we'regoing to get again more into
distractions we're about halfwaythrough the show.
So, uh, tell me a time thatthat that was true for you, that
man, because you're servingsomebody else like nothing else,
(15:14):
that your little problems,you're a little like my
lighting's not working right.
It's like, okay, whatever youknow, but give me something that
was profound, if you will, ifyou can think of something for
you.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Distractions.
So the immediate thought, firstthought, best thought, is when
I was sleeping on the floor inthe Bronx and things like that I
tended to, even though I'm on asoul level, I had a pull for
something more.
I would often wallow in my ownproblems, so that became my
distraction, because, instead offocusing on the possibilities
of what was possible, I wouldsometimes wallow in what was my
(15:49):
present reality, and that's justreal.
Those moments, those darknights of the soul.
How am I going to get pastthese things?
That really was impacting me.
And then also more on apractical level.
We live in a distractioneconomy, so I've definitely
woken up and just scrolled on onsocial media and stuff like
that and just let that distractme and then that's the start of
your day.
So then that the way you startyour day is.
(16:10):
You know, typically how it goesthroughout the day.
Another major distraction.
So, between social media andalso, I want to just be real,
like at some points, juststraight up laziness, not
wanting to, not wanting to getup and do the things that I
needed to do in order to get towhere I wanted to be, cause
that's the difference betweenthe difference between
successful people and peoplethat are not.
(16:30):
It's not that successful peoplelike and enjoy doing the things
that they have to do.
It's that they're doing thethings that nobody else wants to
do to be able to have a betterfuture that nobody else will
have if they're not doing thethings, so that I think that can
be a distraction of like, oh, Idon't feel like doing it.
And then also, just like youknow, love all people out of
soul.
Love we're all.
We're all God's creatures.
If you're around people who arejust making excuses and and uh
(16:54):
and and kind of just complainingall the time, that can rub off
where I've just I don't know who, I don't know the speaker's
name.
I want to give this personcredit, but I was watching
something the other day and theymentioned that I don't know the
exact statistics.
They said if you want to be ahigh achiever, literally by you
just being around high achievers, it increases your, your
potential by 20% of having thosekinds of things because you're
(17:17):
around other high achievers.
But for other people that thatare not like that, that complain
and stuff like that, it rubsoff 30%.
So negativity has a much moreimpact on us than than than high
achievers, however you definethat, so those can also be a
distraction, right?
So?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
yeah, yeah, I love.
I love that you say thatbecause you know, you, you, you
are the what is it?
Seven people that you're aroundI've heard five, six, seven, I
mean people say different things, but you are, you are the
average of the.
I'm going to say seven peoplethat you surround yourself with
Right, and I'm always going tosay I don't want to be the
smartest guy in the room, I wantother people to be there to
(17:55):
raise me up to be better.
And when you have the people inthe room and they're negative
and they're complaining andthey're in victim mode, and it's
this person's fault and thatperson's fault and they'll take
responsibility for any thingsthat they're doing, like laying
in bed all day, eating funyunsor watching Game of Thrones for
(18:18):
the fourth time.
It's, it's.
It's really got to think aboutthose, those distractions.
Are you the distraction?
And you know what we all atsome point?
There's a difference betweenlaziness and self-care.
Yes, yes, yes, that's, yes sowhen you talk about that a
little bit, because I know it'sa fine line and it's what
(18:41):
definition we give it forourselves, right?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
That's true, everybody has their own
thresholds for the amount ofwork that they will do.
I'll start just by saying this,though, that they will do.
I'll start just by saying this,though regardless of your
beliefs, even God took a day off.
If you're familiar with thestory of God, in seven days,
right On the seventh day, hetook a day off.
So if this entity, thisomnipresent, omnipotent being,
(19:08):
took a day off to rest, doesn'tit make sense that we would need
to rest too?
Right, and everybody hasdifferent thresholds in terms of
what they can do.
So I think it's reallyunderstanding your capacity and
then sometimes stretching yourcapacity too, for that 1% better
every day, because if youimprove just 1% per day, then by
the end of the year that's a365% increase in your potential
(19:31):
and in your results.
I think, listening to your body,tuning in with your body, and
understanding that in our modernsociety we're not in always a
fight or flight situation, wedon't have a saber tooth and
things like that.
It sometimes can feel that waybecause of you know, whatever
deadlines and this, I have toget these things done.
I think by proper preparation,you can mitigate that.
Not always things come up andyou have to, kind of you know,
(19:53):
do what you have to do sometimes, but in terms of just just, uh,
you know, not being distracted,I think that's that's super,
super keyed in on on, not onknowing that that fine line,
listening to your body and alsogiving yourself the grace to
understand that you have torecharge.
If you kept your car runningall day, you eventually just
(20:15):
going to break down.
You're not going to get to yourdestination, you have to rest,
put some gas in there and that'sjust the ebb and flow of life.
There's green lights, there'sred lights, there's yellow
lights.
I think just understanding foryourself what that is can really
be beneficial.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, absolutely, thank you.
Thank you for talking aboutthat.
There are so often that we howdo I say that as overachievers,
um, we just push and push andpush, or we feel guilty for
saying oh, I could have donemore, I could have done more.
Yeah.
What if you told yourself I'vedone enough and tomorrow I can
(20:49):
do more?
That's great.
And take that little power napyes, you know, there's times I
come home because we ownmultiple companies and I don't
work.
I love what I do.
I still call it play,especially.
I mean this stuff, I'm notworking man.
I mean this is just, this iswhat fills the cup, you know.
And so there's times it's like,hey, honey, I need 20 minutes,
(21:14):
I need 30 minutes, and just laydown, take a power nap, get up
and you're raring to go again.
But just realizing that in yourbody, like you said just hey,
you know what, you just need aminute, you just need a minute.
Take, take a breather.
It might not be 20 minutes,maybe an hour, maybe a day.
Yes, you need to recharge yourDelco, if you will, and fill
that cup so that you can do more, because you're going to be
(21:35):
depleted and you're not going tobe the best and and come out
the best for people that needyou.
Yeah, you agree with you'rewith that.
So what?
So give me some things aaronlloyd does to refill his cup.
I'm totally.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Hey, man, I, I I'm the power, I, I am a sleep king.
I like a good nap.
I like a good nap.
I definitely like a good nap atthe appropriate times.
There's also something calledthe Pomodoro, I think it's
Pomodoro, so you work for like30 minutes but then take 10
minutes to relax and do nothingand then another 30 minutes Also
for myself.
(22:09):
I like to give myself a day ofjust like grace, of just
relaxing, and the way I kind ofgive myself the grace of
relaxing is exactly what Josephteaches us You've done enough
like propays yourself for thesmall successes and I just have
faith that the bigger things aregoing to be there and I don't
have to work to prove myself todo that, just laying the gifts
that God has given you and keepon moving forward.
(22:30):
And then practically also someself-care of like, um, getting
your, your, your, your sleep ingetting your workout, in your
fitness, in making sure Imeditate, I pray, do all those
different things.
Those are all forms ofself-care for me.
Even my birthday just passedand I just gave.
I said, yo, I'm going to go geta pedicure because my heels
were looking a little chapped.
You know what I'm saying.
They were scratching the bedsheets a little bit.
(22:52):
I had to take care of that.
I went and got a nice littlepedicure.
Those kinds of things mattertoo.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I love when you say that brother, I got to tell you
something.
Every once in a while thathappens, I'm like oh my God.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
What's up with that?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
It's fine.
I didn't know other men dealtwith that man.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Thank you.
She'd be breaking andeverything.
My God, sitting here likerazors on your heels.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I'm sure.
I'm sure your wife enjoys whenyou get your pedicures.
Oh, that's funny.
I just do it myself, man, Ihave to never mind.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Let's not get into this right, okay, okay, okay,
cool cool I've got a grinderthat smooths that stuff out.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
You know, cool, all right.
All right.
We've shared way too much noweverybody go get your pedicures.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
We're saying I'm joking, no right?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
uh, I I'll share anything.
I don't care.
Judge away, man the world Idon't care, I got better things
to worry about, like helpingpeople, hey.
So with that said, um, so let'sget it back into more
distractions.
Let's go down a timeline here.
We figured out what our thingis right, so we know what we're
(24:04):
going to make our thing thething right.
So distractions we have phones,we have Game of Thrones, we
have all these things.
So what are some ways that wejust stay away from?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
those distractions.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
We talk about scheduling ourselves and making
sure you know we can stayfocused that way.
How do we give me some otherthoughts on?
Because this is one of thethings that I find distractions
become excuses, or excuses ordistractions, call it, whichever
way you want to right.
So what are some ways to justreally stay focused on the thing
?
Speaker 3 (24:39):
I think, practically there's two things that I've
done in the past.
So I have a time limit On yourphone.
There's a way you can put timelimits on apps.
So for social media, forInstagram, it's five minutes for
me, and then you know, it'llcome up with a little alert hey,
you've been off five minutes.
And then you know I click itoff and like, okay, that's my
(24:59):
time for today.
Or I might be like, oh, I gotto do more, something else I got
to do, and I'll ignore it, butat least alerts my brain that,
hey, five minutes have passed,something else for, like you
know, the, the colors and thedings and all these kinds of
things that come up colorful, sothen it's a little bit more
boring to look at, you know.
So that might be a helpfulthing to look at too.
How do you make like these appsgrayscale so they look totally
(25:22):
boring?
They're not, they're not reallygoing to be as colorful and
distracting.
That's another way you can dothat.
So that's a social media pieceand a phone piece.
I think something else you cando is yes, that's right, sure,
you can do is, however yes,that's right, sure, I think.
I think another way you can,you can do this is uh, where was
oh, I had a point the dispatch,oh um, and the phones, oh okay.
(25:45):
So like distractions in termsof putting the phone away from
you, so like putting the phonein a drawer for high, high kind
of quality, if you know that youhave some work to do, put the
phone in a drawer somewhere.
And if you feel like, oh man,if people text me, they're not
going to know that I'm nottexting them back, you can just
let all your family, everybody,all your friends know hey, I'm
just going to be away for anhour.
(26:05):
If it's an emergency, it'sreally a mercy.
Then you know you haveemergency contacts that could
just you know, I think the alarm, the ring will go through the
silence or whatever, but youcould put things in your, in
your drawer away from you soyou're not as distracted.
I think another way to not bedistracted is to understand if
you are getting antsy.
Get up, do some jumping jacks,walk around, get into some
(26:26):
nature.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
And that's going to refresh you a little bit so you
come back refreshed and havethat nice little natural energy
boost.
Love that, I love all thosetips.
First of all, you teach me howto do the gray scale thing.
Okay, I didn't even know.
I mean, I've seen that before,but I didn't know, I didn't even
think about how the coloringand all that stuff it brings you
more into it and more excited.
That's a, that's an amazingpoint here.
Um, so I also want to throw inreal quick and then we're going
to, we're going to close up theshow.
But, um, you know, aaron, getoutside, listen to the birds,
(26:58):
listen.
You know I do this thing and Ilive on, you know, acres of of
property and so forth in a veryrural area and and and blessed
to do that.
But, um, sometimes you just gooutside, you turn your phone off
, you take your shoes off, youwalk through the grass or
whatever the case may be.
And there's some amazingphysical properties that happen
(27:21):
with that.
But when you're out there innature and you just stop and
look at the light that'shappening around you and you can
do this anywhere just so youknow, I'm just talking about my
experience.
You take off your shoes and justbe, yes, for five minutes, just
be and literally slow down andlook at all the life around you,
(27:42):
whether that be a bee, a fly, abutterfly, a hawk, you know,
whatever the case may be, theturkeys that are over there
making noise, you know.
Whatever it is In the city,there's turkeys too.
So you know there's stuff allaround.
We have turkeys.
When you slow down for a minuteand just be and just be for a
(28:02):
minute and see all the lifearound you, it is so, so, so,
just grounding, and like Charjust put up there A Char, by the
way I'm grounding with natureand it's just changes everything
, man, and you can literally doit anywhere.
So give me just for a secondsome things you do real quick,
(28:23):
for Just to pull down and bepresent.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
So I like to do exactly what you did.
So something that I recentlylearned to shout out to Yayoi,
because she taught me this Yayoiis a mutual friend there's
something where you can justliterally get into what's called
heart coherence.
We just literally breathe intoyour heart.
So, taking moments to breathe,checking with your body, like,
oh, am I feeling a littlestressed right now, am I feeling
whatever?
It is OK, identify what you'refeeling and then what would you
(28:49):
rather feel?
Then we have tools andtechniques as neuron coders to
be able to do that.
Grounding with nature sucks inNew York during the winter, so
I'm not always able to do that,but during the spring and winter
, spring and summer, Idefinitely like to go outside,
get around some trees, the birds, things like that.
Meditation is big for me, so Ido that a lot.
Prayer writing meditation isbig for me, so I do that a lot.
(29:12):
Prayer, um, writing, journalingfor the.
When did I start journaling?
I want to say for the past,like past, uh, maybe year I've
been journaling and that'sreally been grounding for me as
well.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
So it's journaling and doing those kinds of things
yeah, I, I love journaling, andthen when you look back um on
your thoughts and where you wereand stuff like that, it's kind
of twofold for me.
I love that Great, great tipthere.
So, aaron, we are so over timenow.
Well, man, great conversationthough.
Man, I love organicconversation, my friend.
(29:40):
So how do people reach you, myfriend?
Speaker 3 (29:44):
People can reach me at AaronEmpowerscom.
Tons of different services onthere as well.
So if you want to reach out, behappy to happy to connect.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Excellent.
And then, aaron, I know you dosome things monthly and so on
for groups to help actors andand and other people as well, so
tell us just real quick alittle bit about that.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yes, so I have a service called audition
trackerscom and for actors.
What you can do with that isyou get to track your auditions
because what you measure getsdone.
So you're able to do that.
And what's empowering about thesystem is that each month,
biweekly, for active members, Igive them two world-class
trainings, either bringing inexperts or coaching them, to
help them on their journeys inlife and in their careers.
(30:25):
So you get that included withyour auditionition Tracker
subscription for just $12.99.
Or if you want to just get thereplays of some of these, it's
just $9.99 or $27, depending onif you're inactive or active.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Excellent, very cool.
So if we can give us three tipsto get veterans and their
families further faster, Threetips for veterans getting
further, faster.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
One tap into your purpose.
Tap into your purpose.
If you don't know your purpose,identify it.
Get heart coherent.
Get clear on what you want todo If it's more self-centered.
Do you want to be a greatleader?
Do you want to be the exampleepitome of grit?
What is it that you want?
Get tapped in with that.
That's going to give you lifepurpose.
It's going to give peoplearound you purpose as well, and
you can find ways to do that andhave something to live for as
(31:07):
well.
And you can find ways to dothat and have something to live
for.
The second piece is, I would say, make the main thing.
The main thing which this hasbeen about, and I know I don't
have too much time to share this, but I'm going to share a quick
story.
There's two monks, two monksthat were walking home from the
marketplace to the temple, andas they're going to the temple,
they had to cross a river, andalong this river they came
across a bum, and this bum hadsores all over their body, sores
on their feet, and the bum saidplease, please, gentlemen, I
(31:28):
need some help, I need to go seemy family, I need to cross this
river and the older monk,without even thinking, picked
this guy up and brought himacross and set him down.
The bum was very happy, very,very grateful.
As they got to the temple, theyounger monk said you know,
you're not supposed to do that.
How dare you?
You're not supposed to do that.
And then immediately the oldermonk said you know, the
challenge is I set that man downafter I got off the river.
(31:50):
The challenge is you're stillsitting with him.
He's still on your back rightnow.
So when you're making the mainthing, the main thing, be clear
about what it is that'simportant.
What matters today, Not thechecklist.
You can have the checklists, asthat's what you need to get
things done.
I think the more effectivequestion is what matters most
for you to get to where you wantto be.
The third piece is get heartcoherent, get into your body a
little bit.
In the military I'm not anactive veteran myself my
(32:13):
understanding from half militaryis that it's very body
intensive.
You got to be in your body.
You got to be hypervigilant.
You are disciplined.
You got to do what you need todo because you're protecting and
serving right.
That's important.
I think you can still maintainthat and also get into your body
a little bit of your heart andyour emotions, because that's
going to make you even moreeffective.
And what do I mean by that?
A father's love I'm not afather myself, but a parent's
(32:36):
love for their children that'sgoing to activate something pure
, very strong in you that comesfrom a heart space.
I believe, when you are in tapwith your emotions, when you're
working on yourself, when you'redoing everything you can to be
a more effective leader, notonly for the men or women that
you're leading, but also foryour family and the people that
need that side of you as well.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Love it, absolutely love it, my friend.
Thank you so much again forbeing on.
We'll schedule you back becauseI think we need to talk about
grit.
Something's telling me thatjust came up.
We Something's telling me thatjust came up.
We need to talk about grit.
Let's do it, amen, man.
So time, most precious resourcewe have as human beings.
Aaron, thank you again forcoming on and sharing your
wisdom, your brilliance and yourlight Always, always a pleasure
(33:19):
to have you on, my friend,thank you.
Thank you, brother.
All right, man, we're out,we're out.
Peace.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Peace.
Thank you for joining us onanother insightful journey of
your Thoughts your Realitypodcast with your host, michael
Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you To dive deeperinto empowering your thoughts
and enhancing your reality.
Visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts, shapeyour reality.
Visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts, shapeyour reality, so make them count
(33:53):
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
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