Ever felt so broken you couldn’t get out of bed? Jennifer K. Hill was there—depressed, lonely, running from herself. Today, she’s a global connector and healer.
This episode shows you how to transmute your deepest pain into unstoppable light.
Jennifer K. Hill went from hating herself so deeply she tried to end her life—multiple times—to becoming a world-renowned connector, speaker, and creator of tools that unlock divine purpose.
In this powerful, soul-level conversation, Jennifer reveals how the triangle of self-connection, connection to others, and connection to purpose helped her emerge from darkness. She shares the raw truth about stillness, intuition, giving yourself the love you crave, and how your story is someone else’s survival guide.
👉 Free tools: yourultimatelife.ca
👉 Connect with Jennifer at jenniferkhill.com
👉 Want to turn your story into a book, keynote, or business? Join the Dream Build Write It Challenge — next round starts Sept 29: dreambuildwriteit.com
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Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power and real talk so you can create
the life you dream and deserveyour ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create.
(00:24):
You have infinite power.
Hello and welcome to thisepisode of youf Ultimate Life, the
podcast created and dedicatedto helping you create a life of purpose,
prosperity and joy as youserve with your gifts and talents.
Today, I'm blessed to have amarvelous guest, Jennifer K. Hill,
who is magic and you'll learnall about it as we get going.
(00:47):
Jennifer, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Kellen.
It's a pleasure to be herewith you and your audience.
So one of the things I like toask first, and I don't want you to
be modest in any way, is tellthe audience how Jennifer chooses
to add good to the world.
(01:09):
Thank you, Callan.
My favorite way to add good tothe world is connecting people.
I There's nothing that bringsme greater joy than weaving the magic
thread of connection whereverI travel in the world.
And I'm very fortunate to getto travel a lot.
And sometimes, Kellen, I don'teven know why I'm going to a particular
event.
I'll pray, I'll meditate, I'llask my higher self.
So source the universe, is itmy highest and best good to go to
(01:30):
Alaska, London, wherever Iwind up going, if I hear yes, I get
on the plane and then I surrender.
And I just asked to be achannel and a conduit for connecting
people and giving themmessages, resources, connections
that they need.
And that's kind of how my life goes.
Well, I love that and I'm thebeneficiary of that.
You know, you've joined me toa group of people and I've met some
(01:50):
more folks who you guys aregoing to see here in the coming weeks
and months as we, as we moveto the podcast, as we cross a thousand
episodes here pretty quick.
Anyway, so there's a thoughtthat comes to me as you describe
that, because that's abeautiful thing, looking for energetic
intertwinement or entanglementthat people need to have and show
(02:13):
up for and stuff.
But that is a place that yougot because of life experience and
so forth.
So how did it get to be thething that that's what your heart
loves to do?
It was out of deep loneliness, Kellen.
I hated myself.
(02:34):
I certainly didn't like othersvery much when I was growing up.
I didn't understand myselffirst and foremost.
So I call it the goldenTriangle of connection is after decades
of heartbreaking, you know,broken relationships, broken communication
breakdowns in all differentareas of my life, I did some deep,
deep soul searching.
And then I discovered theformula which I now teach people,
(02:55):
which is connection to self ata deep level, allows for deep intimacy
and connection to others, aswell as deep intimacy and connection
to your purpose.
That's everything I do inlife, and it was out of survival.
Kellen, you know, I wish Icould tell you some fairy tale story
of.
Oh, I was just actuallyrecording a podcast with another
friend of mine who's a greatguy you should have on the show,
Jay Rosensweig, and he's aprolific thought leader.
(03:18):
And we were recording one ofmy podcast shows for Super Connections,
and he was telling me hischildhood, and he's like, it was
perfect.
It was idealic.
You know, I.
Our doors were unlocked and everything.
And my.
That was not my childhood.
I was like the antithesis of that.
So I was running from myself,running from others, running from
my fear, and running fromhuman connection.
(03:39):
So after coming full circle,now back to myself.
Now I have the capacity toshare what I've been able to give
to myself.
That is so profound becausewhen people, you know, I.
Clients that want toaccomplish more and so forth, often
I tell them the first place isyou gotta love yourself.
(04:00):
And they don't.
And that means everything thatthey put out is.
Is an act, you know, it'ssomething that's not connected and
true.
So you gave three reallypieces of stuff, I mean, good stuff
in that triangle, startingwith connection to self.
What is that?
That's what I found myselfasking the first 30 years of my life.
(04:21):
What does that mean?
I had no idea who I was.
I would just constantly mimicother people, thinking that maybe
if I mimicked others, then I'dbe accepted.
Nope, look inward.
And so for me, how connectionto self looks.
It starts, Kellen, withsilence, number one.
This is why so many of us are disconnected.
We wind up in unhealthyrelationships, romantic partners,
(04:43):
business, etc.
We're chasing the dragon ofapproval outside of ourselves.
So step one is get quiet,spend a minute, five minutes, 10
minutes, two hours, whateveryou have time for every day.
And quiet.
The noise.
It's like the old fashionedtelevision screens.
For any of you who may havegrown up in the 60s, 70s, 80s, or
(05:03):
even 90s, we had these old TVsets, and if the antenna wasn't just
right, you'd have steadystatic and you couldn't clearly see
the picture.
And that's the analogy I useof life is we have so much noise
and static in our lives in theform of media and social media and
opinions and outside, youknow, friends and different things
(05:24):
that are impacting our lifeand our judgment that until we get
quiet, until we cultivate thatinner stillness and can sit by ourselves
and just accept ourselves,then we don't have the capacity to
clearly hear.
This is good.
For me, this might not be asideal the past.
This path will have morethorns and brambles.
This path might be a littlebit smoother.
(05:45):
And the more I've taughtmyself how to cultivate intuition,
taught the coaching clientsI've worked with and the thousands
of people I've mentored overthe years, it really comes down to
that stillness, that quiet,tuning out the noise.
And then that gives you thatability to hear that still, soft,
quiet voice that you couldcall your soul, your higher self,
(06:06):
whatever language you chooseto call it.
That's the voice that's goingto tell you who your soulmate is,
what your dream job is, whereyour dream client's going to come
from, the trip that's going tohave the most ease and grace for
you.
I was just on about 30 flightsin six weeks, and knock on wood,
literally every single one wason time early.
And I do that because I'llmeditate every single day and I'll
(06:29):
say, do I have permission to fly?
Is today a good day to fly?
If my flight ever even is alittle bit delayed?
I think I was flying back fromNew York work last week, and I did
hear my first flight would beon time, but my last fight would
be a few minutes delayed.
We still got in relatively ontime of 20 minutes, 15, 20 minutes
late.
But, you know, when you startto do this, then you can see the
underlying patterns andpurpose of life and follow those
(06:51):
patterns, patterns and purposeto your, you know, follow the rainbow
or the yellow brick road toyour treasure.
And whatever that treasure is,it's inside of you, it's not outside
of you.
So there's lots of that.
And it's clear that this is atruth that you not only live, but
teach regularly, because yourability to explain it and describe
it in steps is.
(07:13):
Is good, valuable.
And so I just take a sec forthe listeners to listen to that two
or three times and learn thestillness and then inside that stillness
and seek inspiration.
Talked about learning tocultivate that voice of intuition,
and you talked about thestill, small voice.
(07:34):
And I'm not sure why it'sdesigned that way, but the outside
noise, the snow on the TV asit were, is loud and intrusive.
And that other voice, notalways, but nearly always is a still,
small voice.
And unless we learn to hearit, it will be drowned out.
(07:55):
And so I love that.
Let's go to the next corner ofthe triangle, which is when you learn
to do that, then that allowsyou to have connection to others
in a deep, meaningful, useful,powerful, whatever kind of way.
So talk about that corner a little.
Yes.
This is kind of cyclical.
I'm going to tie it back intothe first part of the triangle.
(08:17):
Inner child work.
And the reason I want to touchon this is because when you give
yourself.
So step one, listen, Tune in.
Listen to yourself.
Step two, give yourself theapproval you need.
Stop looking to your friends,families, boss, colleagues, whoever,
social media, for approval.
Give yourself that love.
Then you show up clean.
Kellen.
(08:37):
Because here's what happens.
I don't come to Kellen with,as Jennifer Cahill, this blank slate.
I come as Jennifer Cahill if Ihaven't done the work, wanting attention,
wanting this, trying to,trying to take energy.
And I think that a lot of whatwe see in the media and the news
on social media is peopletrying to take energy.
(08:57):
When you start off, and thisis actually what Jay and my episode
was about on Super Connections.
Be of service.
You want to be of service.
I show up to any call and Ihave no agenda.
I just ask, you know, let mebe a channel, let me be of service
to this person.
Whether it's a resource, a connection.
Start off by being of service.
In fact, one of the most wellconnected guys in the world was speaking
at a conference with people,thousand people, about 15 years ago
(09:20):
in the Bay Area.
And this guy at the time is upon the stage speaking in front of
all these people.
And he says, the number onesecret to being really well connected
is find out what people needand be of service in that way.
So if I go to you and I'mtrying to get something from you,
we all kind of go, okay, likeyou kind of find yourself getting
(09:40):
back.
But when somebody asksquestions about you, and it might
not be many of you might bethinking, and I get asked this a
lot, oh, I have nothing to give.
I can't tell you how manytimes it breaks my heart when people
say that, Kellen, we all havesomething to give.
It could be an ear, lending anear and listening deeply for somebody
who just needs someone to listen.
Maybe it is a resource, maybeit is a connection.
(10:02):
It doesn't have to be a thing.
It could just be your presencegiving your presence 100% to somebody
could be the greatest gift.
You hear these stories of suicide.
God knows I went through itand tried to take my own life two
or three times by the time Iwas 18, 18 by the time I was 21.
And, you know, sometimes justlistening to somebody and seeing
(10:23):
them can save a person's life.
So you never know.
Don't discount yourself.
When I hear others say, oh, Ihave nothing to give.
How would I ever contribute?
Instead, I would flip thatquestion around and say, what could
I give?
And maybe even ask yourclosest friends, your allies, ask
your favorite chatgpt, whatcould I give?
(10:43):
How can I be a resource toothers in the world?
So, number one, do the work.
Inner child work, whateverwork you want.
Show up clean.
Love yourself first.
Give yourself the love andattention you need.
Step two, go out into the world.
Ask people what matters, whatlights you up.
Ask people about their hopes,wishes, and dreams.
And either listen, be of service.
(11:04):
See if there's some way thatyou can contribute to them.
And in doing so, we all have these.
It's actually funny.
Our mutual friend Yasmina, I'mnot sure if you've seen her TED Talk.
Yasmina Ellis has a fabulousTED Talk on this about the three
types of relationships.
She calls it circumstantial,transactional, and exponential.
Circumstantial is, okay, we'rein the same class together or on
(11:27):
the same plane, right?
Transactional is I need aservice, therefore, I'm going to
purchase this service orproduct from you.
And exponential.
As Yasmina so beautifully,eloquently explains in her talk,
exponential is where we wantour relationships to be.
So I consider myself to bereally fortunate, Kellen, you included
in so many of the wonderfulpeople in my life that every relationship
(11:49):
I have is exponential.
I just don't engage likepeople who often get on a first call
with me, and within fiveminutes, we'll be getting into the
meaning of their life, theirpurpose, and what would really light
them up and how to fulfill on it.
And nine times out of 10people will say, I never have these
sorts of conversations.
And my response is, I onlyhave these sorts of conversations.
I totally agree with you.
(12:10):
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
You finish.
Yeah, please.
No, that was all my only thought.
Okay, well, so I.
This, this not havingsomething to give people saying that
because you.
And because I practice whatyou're talking about so intensely
and so purposefully, it's notunusual for someone to say, well,
(12:34):
I. I I don't think there'sprobably anything I can do to help
you, but, you know, could I,you know, and they'll ask it in that
sort of depreciating way.
And that does the same thing.
I want to cry because it'slike if you just ask somebody what
they're about and you do whatyou said, listen, and then you just
(12:56):
encourage them, wow, what a thing.
And you listened well enoughto actually feel that instead of
just saying it, you will maketheir day.
Like, you will give them love,acknowledgment, appreciation, Even
if you can't think of aconnection or an immediate thing,
(13:17):
that energetic gift can often,oh, you just made my day.
You'll hear that, and thenwhat that does for you is a person
saying it.
And I'm speaking to all thelisteners here.
Look, you'll realize you dohave a gift.
Who you are matters, and youcan give that anytime you want.
(13:38):
You don't need anybody'spermission to love or encourage them.
You can just do that becauseyou said so.
And so I just.
I love that and finding outwhat people need.
When coaches.
Most of my clients are notcoaches, but some of them are.
And they say, how do I getmore clients?
And what I say always is thefirst thing you do is exercise your
(14:00):
give a crap muscle.
You know you do.
You have to exercise your givea crap muscle and become someone
who truly loves people and islooking for that place.
And when you do that, theworld opens up because people are
hungry, starving in many casesfor that feeling and truth.
(14:23):
Yeah, it's so beautiful.
I love that.
Kellen, you made me think of something.
Remind me.
I want to introduce you to afriend of mine, Arthur Samuel Joseph,
who's been one of my othergreatest teachers.
He trained Tony Robbins how tospeak, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery,
and many others.
And he helped me to own thepower of my voice.
And one of the other thingsthat Arthur taught me, listening.
I think if we listen at thesurface level, we're going to miss
(14:45):
so much.
But if we approach everyquestion or sorry, every conversation
from a place of curiosity andfrom what Arthur would call our deeper
listening, it's from notputting place that we unearth something
special.
I often do.
I've done retreats forcorporates and executives and entrepreneurs.
And one of my favoriteexercises to take people through
(15:05):
is a very simple exercise.
We start off, this is one ofmy other favorite techniques to calm
the nervous system, regulateyour nervous system and connect yourself.
And stillness is heartfocused, breathing by heart, math.
So when I'm doing thisfacilitation for people.
We start with heart focusedbreathing by heart math.
I have people who are ingroups of two sitting knee to knee
with each other.
(15:26):
And then we start off puttingthem in the heart focused breathing.
And then we have them ask, oneat a time, what matters to you.
And the only job of the personlistening is to listen for what's
not being said.
And the magic in miracles,Kellen, Every time I've taught this
technique to people in groupsettings or one on one, what happens
for people opens up and blowsyour mind.
(15:47):
Because people don't feelseen, heard, or understood.
And the minute you can givesomeone that gift of being seen,
heard, or understood, that'swhere the floodgates of magic open.
That is so true.
I.
When I talk to people aboutsales, and I'm working with people
about sales, we talk about listening.
(16:09):
And I'll say, you know, ifyou'll just listen with the way you're
talking about, people will buyalmost whatever you're selling.
And the reason is becauseyou're giving them a gift they can't
get anywhere else.
If you just are there andyou're actually curious.
And it has to be beyond that surface.
I had a friend that taught aclass, and he.
(16:32):
He said, you know, there arepeople that you know, and when they
start talking, immediately,your thought is, I wish they'd shut
up.
I don't want to hear whateverit is, you know, whatever like that.
And that is the level of listening.
And then he said, now I want.
I want you to think aboutsomebody in your life, mythical,
real, whatever, where if yougot to talk to them, you would come
(16:55):
listening like every word wasgold and every drop.
Maybe it's a leader, maybeit's God, maybe, whatever.
But, you know, you would justshow up like that.
He said that kind of listeningis a choice, and you have a story
about why you do whatever kindof listening you're doing.
(17:16):
And so his invitation was tothink about the kind of listening
you're choosing to show upwith and then watch the magic happen,
which is what he said.
And that's how he described it.
Somebody.
You're just falling all overyourself, and you just be listening,
right?
And you couldn't wait to bethere in every last second and every
word.
And that's what I thought ofwhen you said that.
(17:39):
And so that's such a fun thing.
And we all know people like that.
And we all know people likethe other kind, too.
It's like, okay, you know,that sort of thing.
And It's a choice was the magic.
So let's get to the thirdpoint of the triangle, which is so
(17:59):
near and dear to my heart too,which is the, the idea, the truth
that you have.
You, each one of you have a purpose.
You're here for a reason.
And as the third point of yourtriangle, you said connection to
self, others, and then adeeper possibility or stronger connection
(18:20):
to your purpose.
Talk about that a little bit.
Yeah, a couple tools.
So one of the things I love todo, Ellen, is I love to share tools
with people.
Some people are kinestheticlearners, some people are visual,
auditory learners.
So one tool I like to helppeople and support them with their
purpose is Gene Keys.
Are you familiar with thattool by.
Richard Redd Dream or Gene?
(18:41):
Gene G E N E K E Jean Keys?
No.
No.
Oh my gosh.
Exploding ahead.
Emoji Kellen, for you and yourlisteners and audience, it's free.
It will boggle your mind.
It is probably one of the bestfree tools I've ever come across
in my life.
Just go to genekeys.com free profile.
You will go down a rabbit hole.
It gives you complimentary audio.
You can drop it in chat, GPTor your favorite AI, have it interpret
(19:04):
it even further, but it givesyou all this free data on the site
and it literally will tell youyour purpose is this.
This is your area of learning,of growth.
Now, I want to be clear of whywe have to do the other two first.
You won't be able to connectto others or to your purpose until
you first get to know yourself.
And that's what I love aboutGene Keys is going deeper into understanding
(19:25):
that now, taking it back tothat deeper listening we were just
talking about.
Our purpose is like knockingat the door all the time.
It's like, hello, hello.
Actually, Arthur is the onewho used to say this to me all the
time.
We've worked together like 15years on and off.
And Arthur would say, jen,when you have like the universe knocking
at your door saying, hello, Ihave something for you, it might
(19:48):
be to be a mother or father,it might be to be an animal trainer
like my sister is.
It might be to be a worldfamous speaker, podcaster, a thought
leader like you, Kellen, thereis no right or wrong purpose.
But you will not be able tohear it unless you tune out the noise.
And then all of a sudden, whenyou start being of service to others,
when you spend that time,invest that time wisely with yourself
(20:12):
every day, that's whensynchronicity starts.
And then all Of a sudden, it'slike the breadcrumbs to your destiny
appear on the path and guideyou divinely to the right people
at the right time.
Even if we make mistakes,which we do, we think, oh, I should
have gone left instead ofright, or I chose the wrong co founder,
I hired the right person, or Idated the wrong person.
(20:34):
There is no wrong person.
These are all just breadcrumbsthat sometimes meander us to our
purpose.
And I find the path is moretried and true and lined with synchronicities
and miracles and magic.
When you quiet the noise andare of service to others, that's,
to me, the magic formula thatthen leads you to.
(20:55):
And it'll be.
It might happen in a conversation.
I have a couple of my bestfriends who are both working on their
divinely guided businessesright now, and it was sometimes just
sitting with it and being inthe inquiry and not just trying to
shove a round pig in a square hole.
I think a big part of thisthat I also want to highlight and
I've never gotten before untilthis moment, Kellen, is patience.
(21:16):
We're living in an AmazonStarbucks culture where we want to
swipe left, swipe right, haveeverybody be delivered to our doorstep.
And I think that this abilityto sit and do nothing and then also
to give of your time andyourself, those things cultivate
a level of patience.
And in doing so, that thenallows us to wait in this divine
(21:40):
sense of grace for the rightopportunity at the right time.
Every time I have a deal I'mabout to close, Kellen.
Whether it's a new client, acoaching client, a client for our
tech company, Optimatch, anysort of big business deal, I literally
pray, meditate, I sayuniverse, if it's in my highest and
best good, their highest andbest good, and humanity's highest
and best good, then pleaseremove any and all obstacles for
(22:03):
all of us.
If for any reason it's not myhighest and best good, their highest
and best good, or humanity'shighest and best good, then please
lovingly redirect each andevery one of us to what will bring
us closer to you and to our purpose.
I just thank you for sayingthat and saying it so clearly.
I.
We do.
We have the ability, we eachhave the ability to be quiet and
(22:26):
to tune into intuition.
It's not some special people.
Some people have developedmore and people maybe were gifted
more.
Everybody has their ownpowerful gifts and talents.
But you, individually, each ofyou have the ability, as Jen said,
to.
To hear that intuition and torespond to those Knocks yes, you
do, and please do, becausethat's where joy is.
(22:50):
The universe is not here torip your head off.
It is here.
Sometimes you go throughdifficult paths and struggles, but
it is for your development,and that's the meandering.
And the mistakes we makearen't mistakes.
It is simply boundaries.
It is learnings.
It is opportunities for growth.
If you go to the gym and youlift, you don't.
(23:11):
You don't get more musclewithout strain.
I don't know why people don'tget the fact that there's an energetic
gravity too.
If you're working against somechange in your heart and your life,
there is a resistance.
And it's just like the truthof the iron in a gym.
The larger the change, themore the resistance, and that resistance
is needed, or you don't getany spiritual growth.
(23:34):
I love that.
You know, I call it spiritualgravity, and I give a whole seminar
on spiritual gravity and howit's an analog and we need to be
grateful for it because it'sconsistent, it's predictable, and
we need it, and it's not theuniverse trying to hurt us.
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
And it's funny you say that.
(23:54):
One of the greatest teachersI've ever had is a gentleman by the
name of David Guillaume, who Ihad the privilege of studying with
for about eight or nine yearsand mentored a whole class with him
for a year.
And he's now become like thenext Joe Dispenza.
He's doing tours, and I justhappened to see something from him
on Social today.
And he said, the reason yourneighbors, your ex wife, your ex
boyfriend, boyfriend, youknow, children, whatever attack you
(24:18):
is they're not attacking you,they're attacking your negativity
and pointing it out to you.
So you have an opportunity totransmute that into something else.
So I was sitting with thattoday, and I shared it with my husband.
I was like, wow, that's beautiful.
So sometimes we feel like ourcolleague, our best friend, whoever
is attacking us.
What if we shifted the lens ofthat, though, and instead said, what
(24:40):
aspect of my negativity arethey attacking to help me transmute
and transform?
So that was from David Guillaume.
I love the fact that you usethe word transmute because transform
means, as you know, changingthe shape of something.
Transmute is like alchemychanging lead into gold.
And so when I talk about whatwe have to do, people ask me what
(25:04):
we're doing when I'm workingwith them.
I say, well, we're going totransmute the Fury of injustice,
the ravages of adversity andthe pain of loneliness into the pure
gold of love, forgiveness and service.
That's not changing a form.
That is a transmuting of something.
And I love that.
And so you use that word andI'm like, oh, bless your heart for
(25:27):
a cool thing.
Well, that's a magical journey.
And so what you've said, itstarts with you love yourself.
There's a book I'm remindedof, Love yourself like your life
depends on it came out of aTED Talk and the first edition was
about that thick.
And the thing on the front isa silhouette of a guy with a.
Looks like he got a gun to his head.
(25:49):
And there's a second editionthat's a lot fatter and doesn't have
that silhouette.
The first edition's fine.
There's nothing wrong with it.
It's beautiful.
But anyway, it talks about thestory of someone who made a huge
change simply by learning thatfirst principle that Jens taught
us.
And from there you areinspired and in tune and you give
(26:09):
yourself permission.
You don't love yourself.
You don't give yourselfpermission for anything because you're
afraid of what others think orjudging yourself or second guessing.
And all this energy suckinggarbage that you do.
And you've talked about that.
We're just turning up thenoise on the old TV's that static.
So I love that you called itthat too.
So that's fantastic.
So you've talked about thatset of triangles and as you do those
(26:36):
and then move in this.
You mentioned two things.
The love you have ofconnecting people and resources together.
And then you have anothercompany, Optimatch.
Tell me a little bit about howyou use this truth that you've explained
so well in.
In either growing business orhelping people or saving the planet.
(26:57):
I mean we all know we.
We need a lot more of that, right?
Especially in what's with theworld the way it is right now?
Tell.
Tell me a little bit moreabout that.
So two things I'm going toback up in terms of saving the planet
because.
Shout out to a friend, KeithHodges, who's actually in our tribe
together, Kellen.
Keith did a session for me.
He's a wonderful, profoundenergy healer and he wanted to thank
(27:20):
me for all the people.
I referred to him back inDecember of last year and it's.
I love that you said save theworld because I had had a reoccurring
nightmare since I was fiveyears old.
Kellen makes me feel likeemotional just to discuss it.
It started when I was five,and I'd have to save a school bus
full of children.
And then as I got into myteens, I had to save the world.
And I'd be floating on a pieceof the earth, looking back at the
(27:43):
destruction of Earth and oh,my God, I didn't save Earth.
And this went on and on fordecades, right?
So in December last year,Keith offers me a complimentary session,
dead sober, 10:30am on a Thursday.
And Keith and I start talkingand he starts intoning and he says,
jen, what do you want to work on?
And I said, oh, Keith, I havethis thing on my shoulder.
I feel like I have to save the world.
I've always had it.
And he's like, great.
So he starts doing theseintonations, the chance, the things
(28:06):
to open up and do whatever he does.
And I kid you not, Kellen, whoosh.
I drop out of space in time.
I don't know what this mandid, but he did some powerful chance.
And right away, I hear myhigher self, the universe, whatever
you want to call it, says tome, laughing, get over yourself.
There is nothing and no one to save.
Get over it.
(28:26):
But what your purpose is, thiswill make me cry.
Is to see the spark of lightin yourself and the moment you've
seen and found that spark oflight in yourself and see and find
that spark of light andreflect it back to every other human
being you meet.
(28:46):
And that is your purpose.
And I was shown, Kellen, allof these beautiful sparks of light,
the billions of sparks oflight that are humanity.
Rather than becomingdisparate, moving more separated
from one another, they werecoming back together to one original
source.
And the last part of thatspectacular vision is I was shown
this magical mirror vis a visDisney, right?
(29:08):
And as I looked into themirror, instead of seeing my own
reflection, I said, saw thefaces of every human I had ever met
or met or would ever meet andreflected to me as myself.
So that's been a powerful reminder.
So, number one, just in termsof saving the world, I'm always called
to remember that we're notsaving anyone.
We're just remembering thespark of genuine light that exists
(29:30):
in all of us.
And then that's similar towhat ties into my purpose and what
we do with Optimatch.
So after I sold my lastcompany in 2018, my co founder of
this new company, Julian, was my.
My business coach who helpedme sell the last one.
And Julian's a sweetheart.
He's a genius softwareengineer, human behavioral expert.
And he said, jen, why don't wecreate an algorithm that mirrors
(29:51):
your intuition for matching people.
Because at that point in therecruitment side, the first business
I sold, I had literallymatched successfully tens of thousands
of people across manydifferent, like, industries, a lot
in the legal world.
And he said, why don't we justbottle that secret formula up inside
your head and then use it tohelp you humans connect with each
other?
And I said, well, shoot, canwe do that?
I'm not a tech person.
(30:11):
And we did.
So we spent eight monthsdeveloping questions, another year
and a half testing it, andoptimatch is now used predominantly
in businesses and sometimesfor communities and events.
And we're even sticking ourtoe in the dating field with one
called Soulmeat Love.
So you can try the normal oneOM app, forward slash survey if you
want to find out how you're motivated.
(30:31):
Or you can go to Seoul M E ET. And that's something that we're
also trying.
And so my goal with this,Kellen, is that every human being
gets to have the magic andmiracles that you and I have.
Once you've done that work,then go out and play in this space
with the people who you'relike and going to feel natural affinity
(30:52):
to.
So what we found and what Ifound in 20 years of recruiting is
that if you and I aresimilarly motivated, Kellen, we're
immediately going to feelpsychologically safe, deeper intimacy,
et cetera.
There's a way I describe it topeople, kind of like a sine wave.
Imagine if Kellen and Jenniferare similarly motivated and you overlap
our sine waves one on top ofthe other.
What happens?
(31:12):
It amplifies the effect ofthat sine wave.
However, let's imagine insteadthat you have Jennifer and Kellen
on opposite sides, right?
Two separate sine waves inorder to energetically match each
other.
I was just teaching a class onthis to a leadership team yesterday.
We, the two sine waves have toexhaust a lot of their energy and
resources to meet in themiddle of where their motivators
(31:34):
lie.
So that's been my life's work,is understanding what has us connect,
what has us disconnect, andhow do we create greater coherence
and relationships.
I just love that because I'man audio engineer.
I know the visceral and, youknow, the sound consequences.
And there's names for all thatin audio engineering that excite
(31:55):
like waves and samefrequencies amplify each other and
get louder and others tend to cancel.
And all kinds of noisecanceling headphones work.
It just takes a sample of thenoise around you and Creates an opposite
wave.
And so it cancels the noise onthe airplane or wherever it is.
That's how they work.
And so you're.
The.
The idea that you are mo youand I or anyone, is motivated by
(32:17):
a thing, creating a certain energy.
You know, we used to think ofthat as weird speak, but it's not.
It's the truth.
The easy way to think about itis you're in a room and someone walks
in and you haven't even turnedaround yet, and the air changes and
you know that they'refrustrated or that they're really
happy.
The energy is transmitted and those.
Those waves are real and wecan't measure them or do all that
(32:39):
stuff very well yet.
But that is so true.
And discovering that and then amplifying.
It's why two people can speakto the same audience.
And one person will motivate acertain group or speak to them and.
And the other person, anothergroup, you know, and that's why.
That's why it's so importantto understand that every person has
(32:59):
a message and a meaning andnobody's going to save the world,
right?
But we sometimes feel like wewere supposed to.
And what I think at least iswhen we have these times in our lives
when we overcome something,when we go do some deep soul work
and we realize that we'rebeing healed or have healed ourselves
or we're growing in some way,it seems like at that same time there
(33:23):
always arises with that.
That yearning to help others,to serve others with that.
It seems to be connected.
When we grow, it's like, oh,who can I help?
That seems to rise up with people.
Because when I interviewpeople like this all the time, I
say, why is this important to you?
And they always tell me, well,it happened to me.
And sometimes I'll say, well,why don't you just be happy for you
(33:45):
and go away.
But.
But I can't do that.
And so there seems to arisewith that in us.
And I think it's because it's our.
Our divine nature.
We're built to love and serveeach other.
And your coherence andconnection of all those points of
light is a beautiful example.
Love is an attractive force.
Fear, hate, all that otherstuff is a repelling, divisive, negative
(34:07):
force.
We can see that.
So being, loving yourself,finding your spark, reflecting that
beautifully to others.
What a beautiful description.
So thank you for that.
That's my pleasure.
I feel very lucky.
I've had beautiful meditations.
I've done plant medicines andsuch in my life.
But the most Profound visionsI've ever had.
(34:27):
A bit sober and meditation.
I agree with you.
I had a guy I was talking tothe other day that said, you know,
he had never done this, and hewas feeling really moved to go do
a plant ceremony.
Yeah, I don't care.
But I had another client who'ddone it like, 20 times, and every
time he went to connect to theuniverse and everything, he came
back with all this stuff.
(34:48):
And.
And then I said, okay, well,are we gonna, like, is this gonna
cause some change in action?
And it seemed like it turnedinto a crutch or a thing to go do
from outside.
And the truth is in you.
The truth isn't out there.
Spark is in you.
The divinity is in you.
The capability is in you.
The love is in you.
(35:08):
It's not out there somewhere.
Yeah, it's.
For what it's worth.
What David Guillaume, theteacher I mentioned earlier, who
said the thing about yourneighbors and attacking you, I love
the way he put it in theKabbalah class I was studying.
I've studied Kabbalah forabout 13, 14 years now.
And David said, if you were totell me you're never going to study
Kabbalah or go deep intospirituality in your life, I would
say, go do plant medicine.
(35:29):
But he's like, not having doneit himself.
Right.
Because sometimes it can be acatalyst, and we all might need that
little extra nudge to see thatinner spark.
So you can get there throughdeep spiritual work, bala Buddhism,
other studies, whatever lightsyour, you know, spark, so to speak.
Or you can also do somethinglike plant medicine to kind of jumpstart
(35:50):
it for you, though you can getto the same destination.
It's.
As I mentioned earlier,there's all these breadcrumbs that
lead us to our destiny.
There are many paths.
Some meander and havebrambles, and some are beautiful
rolling hills of green andfountains and water and fairy dust.
Well, I love that, and I agreewith you 100%.
And, you know, I have alwaysfelt that the.
(36:11):
The.
The tools are in you, and ifyou need other tools, that's fine,
but the tools.
And I just.
The tools are in you.
The capabilities in you.
You matter.
You have this.
Even if it's got layers ofwhite noise on the TV over the top
of it, it's time to turn thatdown and start where Jen taught us,
which is at the.
At the place of stillness tostart with.
(36:34):
So what else haven't I askedyou that you would love to share?
Comes up for you, that wouldbe like, ooh, that's cool.
Let's do that.
What I just heard, I feeldeeply people's energy and how the
audience is responding to this.
What I just heard, Kellen, is,yeah, but I feel safe, sad.
(36:56):
Kellen.
Jen, I get it.
You're talking about thingsthat are so far outside my capacity.
And I just want.
I want those of you who arefeeling that way to know I've been
there.
I have been so inconsolableand so crushingly lonely and sad
that I couldn't get out ofbed, that I drank and I drugged and
(37:16):
I was bulimic for a decade.
I don't want you to think thatyou're broken or wrong.
Wherever you're at, if you'refeeling crushingly sad right now,
allow yourself to feel thatway sometimes even doing the littlest
thing.
You know, we were talkingearlier about being of service.
I remember when I firststarted studying Kabbalah, they talk
(37:37):
about how to get yourself outof depression.
And I've been depressed in mylife more times than I'd like to
count, really suicidally depressed.
And the thing I know now is twofold.
That changes things for me.
One, that when we're sad, ifwe can do one act of kindness for
another person, smiling,opening a door, getting outside of
(37:59):
that self and, you know, goingdeeper and deeper into the loneliness,
get outside of yourself.
See if you can do one kindthing, go volunteer, be of service
to somebody else.
And the other thing when itcomes to depression is that sometimes
we don't even know how to askfor help.
How to run up the white flagand just say, please help me is share.
(38:21):
You know, we all have one person.
It could be the person at thegrocery store, we all have to eat
right, or the Uber eats personwho drops off your food.
Share.
Just share and say that youneed help, because there's no shame
in needing help.
And one of the things that nowhelps me kabbalistically is I understand
that we all go throughdifferent tests and challenges that
(38:43):
are designed for our soul.
And God forbid, you know, ifwe do choose to take our own life,
which some people do, we getto come back and do it all over again,
but harder.
So that's one of the bigthings that, you know, stops me now
is I go, okay, I'm going togive myself permission to feel sad.
And I choose how long I'mgoing to be sad for.
So before sadness wouldoverwhelm me and depression would
(39:04):
overwhelm me for days, weeks,months, years.
And now when I get depressedor if I feel sad, I Still feel sad.
I still feel lonely.
I'm still human.
There is no perfection in anyof us.
None of us can be perfect.
We still have human emotionsand feelings, though.
When I feel that way, I talkto it.
I say, okay, sadness, what areyou trying to teach me?
What does that feel like?
(39:25):
I was just doing an interviewwith another interesting guy.
He'd be a great guest for yourshow as well, Dr. Andy Hahn, who
has a book called the One HourMiracle, and he was sharing with
me how he was treatingdepression, that he would have his
patients go into that feeling.
One guy described it like oatmeal.
You know, like being in stickyoatmeal and, you know, figuring out
what is that feeling?
Trying to teach you, wheredoes it come from?
(39:46):
And the moment we can just bewith the most difficult aspects of
ourselves, of somebody else,of those feelings we don't want to
feel, then when we can be withthat without resistance, that's where
freedom comes.
That's where suffering endsand limitless possibility begins.
I love that.
I had a friend that describedsomething like that.
This way, if you fullyexperience the end, the outcome of
(40:11):
any feeling that is fullyexperienced is joy.
And what he meant by that is,even these sad ones, if you give
yourself permission, I'm sad.
I'm overwhelmingly sad.
And I feel that.
And ask the questions thatyou've just said, what is this?
What is about?
What can I learn here?
What's the gift here?
That's the one I always use.
What's the gift here?
(40:32):
And I mean it when I ask it.
It's not sarcastic, becausethat requires a degree of surrender,
which is I believe that thereis possibility and there is a path
here.
And so rather than fight it orbe mad at it, I'm just going to ask,
what's the gift here?
And sincerely look for it.
And to go do something nice.
(40:53):
It's so easy on social.
One of the things I do in themorning is I go through in my creations.
I'll go through whatever,Facebook messenger, WhatsApp or whatever,
and I'll go through those, andinspiration will strike.
And I will send peoplemessages of love and uplift and maybe
repair or acquaintance or something.
(41:14):
And something about doing thatdoes what you're talking about, because
you're doing a thing, you'rereflecting a spark or you're acknowledging
a spark in someone.
Yeah, Beautiful, Kellen.
And one other thing on theflip side that I'm about to share
with the audience is one of mynew favorite things.
There was something created byGlenn and Natalie ledwell called
(41:36):
Mind Movies that was sold toJoe Dispenza I don't know how many
years ago.
And they had a software whereyou would stream together different
images and then it would be aturn into Mind Movie.
I think it still exists, I'mnot sure.
So you could go to that website.
And the way that I startedplaying with it a couple months ago
is in March, I was like, waita Second, we have ChatGPT and AI.
I wonder if I could customcreate images of my dream life and
(41:58):
weave those into a series ofimages using canva or Chat or something
and call it like my version ofa mind movie.
Right.
Where you would call it like avision board, a moving vision board,
whatever you would want tocall it.
And I, Kellen, it has been remarkable.
I've done it for myself,myself, for my coaching clients.
The Results, the first 10slides I created back on, like, March
(42:18):
15th, by, I think it was endof April, five of the slides had
happened of things I wanted tocreate in the world.
And so now I'm teachingeverybody else how to do it.
I love it.
I remember actually when mymovies first came out, it was Natalie
and then some fellow that shewas working with for a while.
Yeah, Glenn, way back, I thinkit was 2012 or 13, 12 or 13 years
(42:40):
ago.
And I remember them coming outand I actually bought one, bought
a subscription to whatever itwas then.
Of course, the software hasevolved at least 5,000 times since
then.
I mean, after all, 13 years is forever.
Well, that's fabulous.
And so I agree with that.
The mind movies are fun.
They're powerful, and they'refun to make, too.
Yeah, it's perfect vision.
(43:01):
You know, we used to do thesevision boards.
And I can't tell you how manytimes in my life, Kellen, I've created
a vision board.
And it was back in the daywhere you, like, rip out pieces of
magazine and then stick it on,like a cork board or whatever.
And now we can do that with AI.
And so why not everybody,like, we spend so much time on social.
Take your favorite images on social.
But, and I will caution you,here's a funny story about this.
(43:22):
So one of the images of thefirst 10 slides I created for my
first movie was a private jet.
I was like, ah, you know, I'veflown private a few times.
I'd love to fly private more.
But here was the funny thingbecause careful what you wish for.
So that exact private jet thatwas in my movie on the tarmac at
sunset, I got on the jet, butit didn't take off because it was
at a private event where theywere featuring private jets.
(43:43):
So you have to be sure if youwant to be on private jet, it has
to be in the air, you know?
So think carefully about whatit is you're creating and be nuanced
about the literalness of it.
I love that.
So let's.
Let's make sure everybodyknows where to find you.
So if they've heard you andyou've given such moving and true
and powerful stories andadvice and help and encouragement,
(44:08):
where can people get more ofJennifer Cahill?
Thank you, Kellen.
I appreciate it.
So, one thing I wouldrecommend again, you can go to jenniferkhill.com
is a nice, easy way that youcan connect with me there.
I also write a weekly LinkedInnewsletter called Insights Inspired
Living Tools.
If you Google Inspired LivingTools, every week a new newsletter
(44:29):
comes out with some of myfavorite tips and tools.
And you can find an episode Idid with Kellen on my Super Connections
podcast.
So for years, I did a podcastcalled Regarding Consciousness.
You can still find those.
I did it with Deepak Chopraand Don Hoffman and Bruce Lipton
and Greg Braden and all sortsof lovely folks who are friends.
And then I pivoted that one toone that we just had killing on called
Super Connection.
(44:50):
So you can now find that one.
If anybody's interested, it.
Thank you.
Is there any final thing you'dlike to live leave with us from your
brightness and your joy?
And I want to reallyacknowledge you for sharing your
soul, your tears, your heart,your love, the truth of your becoming
and your being with us today.
(45:13):
Thank you, Kellen.
I will leave everybody with aquote that I began a class with yesterday.
The world is not.
We don't see the world as it is.
We see the world as we are.
So ask yourself, what filterare you seeing yourself, your life,
and the world through today?
If you don't like that filter,choose a different one.
You know, it's so profound tounderstand that we can choose a different
(45:37):
one because we start with ourlenses that we have, and we have
this story that that's theonly ones that exist, right?
I mean, we do see the worldthe way we are.
We can't do anything else.
It's the only ones we've gotuntil we realize you can take them
off.
You know, that's the first realization.
Of course.
You see the world the way you are.
(45:59):
What else can you do?
And the revelation is, I don'thave to wear those.
And that's the beauty.
I love it.
I love it.
Jennifer, thank you for beingon the show today.
Thank you, Kellen.
And thank you to yourlisteners and audience.
I'm intending each and everyone of you, maybe there was some
little nugget, whatever it ismay grow in you and may your spark
(46:20):
grow too.
And may you be able to see thespark in yourself and in those around
you.
I want to encourage you to goback and listen to this again, maybe
some parts a couple of timesor three times or five times.
Write down the names, thewebsites that she gave us because
there's good in there.
There's gold in there for you.
And you'll know as you listenwhat's for you.
(46:41):
Because if you do that and youfollow your intuition, you'll be
able to create your ultimate life.
Right now, your opportunityfor mass and grow growth is right
(47:02):
in front of you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflukermedia.com if you want
more free tools, go hereYourUltimateLife CA subscribe, share.
(47:28):
And your feet are on the ground.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power and real talk so you can create
the life you dream and deserveyour ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create.
(00:24):
You have infinite power.
Hello and welcome to thisepisode of youf Ultimate Life, the
podcast created and dedicatedto helping you create a life of purpose,
prosperity and joy as youserve with your gifts and talents.
Today, I'm blessed to have amarvelous guest, Jennifer K. Hill,
who is magic and you'll learnall about it as we get going.
(00:47):
Jennifer, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Kellen.
It's a pleasure to be herewith you and your audience.
So one of the things I like toask first, and I don't want you to
be modest in any way, is tellthe audience how Jennifer chooses
to add good to the world.
(01:09):
Thank you, Callan.
My favorite way to add good tothe world is connecting people.
I There's nothing that bringsme greater joy than weaving the magic
thread of connection whereverI travel in the world.
And I'm very fortunate to getto travel a lot.
And sometimes, Kellen, I don'teven know why I'm going to a particular
event.
I'll pray, I'll meditate, I'llask my higher self.
So source the universe, is itmy highest and best good to go to
(01:30):
Alaska, London, wherever Iwind up going, if I hear yes, I get
on the plane and then I surrender.
And I just asked to be achannel and a conduit for connecting
people and giving themmessages, resources, connections
that they need.
And that's kind of how my life goes.
Well, I love that and I'm thebeneficiary of that.
You know, you've joined me toa group of people and I've met some
(01:50):
more folks who you guys aregoing to see here in the coming weeks
and months as we, as we moveto the podcast, as we cross a thousand
episodes here pretty quick.
Anyway, so there's a thoughtthat comes to me as you describe
that, because that's abeautiful thing, looking for energetic
intertwinement or entanglementthat people need to have and show
(02:13):
up for and stuff.
But that is a place that yougot because of life experience and
so forth.
So how did it get to be thething that that's what your heart
loves to do?
It was out of deep loneliness, Kellen.
I hated myself.
(02:34):
I certainly didn't like othersvery much when I was growing up.
I didn't understand myselffirst and foremost.
So I call it the goldenTriangle of connection is after decades
of heartbreaking, you know,broken relationships, broken communication
breakdowns in all differentareas of my life, I did some deep,
deep soul searching.
And then I discovered theformula which I now teach people,
(02:55):
which is connection to self ata deep level, allows for deep intimacy
and connection to others, aswell as deep intimacy and connection
to your purpose.
That's everything I do inlife, and it was out of survival.
Kellen, you know, I wish Icould tell you some fairy tale story
of.
Oh, I was just actuallyrecording a podcast with another
friend of mine who's a greatguy you should have on the show,
Jay Rosensweig, and he's aprolific thought leader.
(03:18):
And we were recording one ofmy podcast shows for Super Connections,
and he was telling me hischildhood, and he's like, it was
perfect.
It was idealic.
You know, I.
Our doors were unlocked and everything.
And my.
That was not my childhood.
I was like the antithesis of that.
So I was running from myself,running from others, running from
my fear, and running fromhuman connection.
(03:39):
So after coming full circle,now back to myself.
Now I have the capacity toshare what I've been able to give
to myself.
That is so profound becausewhen people, you know, I.
Clients that want toaccomplish more and so forth, often
I tell them the first place isyou gotta love yourself.
(04:00):
And they don't.
And that means everything thatthey put out is.
Is an act, you know, it'ssomething that's not connected and
true.
So you gave three reallypieces of stuff, I mean, good stuff
in that triangle, startingwith connection to self.
What is that?
That's what I found myselfasking the first 30 years of my life.
(04:21):
What does that mean?
I had no idea who I was.
I would just constantly mimicother people, thinking that maybe
if I mimicked others, then I'dbe accepted.
Nope, look inward.
And so for me, how connectionto self looks.
It starts, Kellen, withsilence, number one.
This is why so many of us are disconnected.
We wind up in unhealthyrelationships, romantic partners,
(04:43):
business, etc.
We're chasing the dragon ofapproval outside of ourselves.
So step one is get quiet,spend a minute, five minutes, 10
minutes, two hours, whateveryou have time for every day.
And quiet.
The noise.
It's like the old fashionedtelevision screens.
For any of you who may havegrown up in the 60s, 70s, 80s, or
(05:03):
even 90s, we had these old TVsets, and if the antenna wasn't just
right, you'd have steadystatic and you couldn't clearly see
the picture.
And that's the analogy I useof life is we have so much noise
and static in our lives in theform of media and social media and
opinions and outside, youknow, friends and different things
(05:24):
that are impacting our lifeand our judgment that until we get
quiet, until we cultivate thatinner stillness and can sit by ourselves
and just accept ourselves,then we don't have the capacity to
clearly hear.
This is good.
For me, this might not be asideal the past.
This path will have morethorns and brambles.
This path might be a littlebit smoother.
(05:45):
And the more I've taughtmyself how to cultivate intuition,
taught the coaching clientsI've worked with and the thousands
of people I've mentored overthe years, it really comes down to
that stillness, that quiet,tuning out the noise.
And then that gives you thatability to hear that still, soft,
quiet voice that you couldcall your soul, your higher self,
(06:06):
whatever language you chooseto call it.
That's the voice that's goingto tell you who your soulmate is,
what your dream job is, whereyour dream client's going to come
from, the trip that's going tohave the most ease and grace for
you.
I was just on about 30 flightsin six weeks, and knock on wood,
literally every single one wason time early.
And I do that because I'llmeditate every single day and I'll
(06:29):
say, do I have permission to fly?
Is today a good day to fly?
If my flight ever even is alittle bit delayed?
I think I was flying back fromNew York work last week, and I did
hear my first flight would beon time, but my last fight would
be a few minutes delayed.
We still got in relatively ontime of 20 minutes, 15, 20 minutes
late.
But, you know, when you startto do this, then you can see the
underlying patterns andpurpose of life and follow those
(06:51):
patterns, patterns and purposeto your, you know, follow the rainbow
or the yellow brick road toyour treasure.
And whatever that treasure is,it's inside of you, it's not outside
of you.
So there's lots of that.
And it's clear that this is atruth that you not only live, but
teach regularly, because yourability to explain it and describe
it in steps is.
(07:13):
Is good, valuable.
And so I just take a sec forthe listeners to listen to that two
or three times and learn thestillness and then inside that stillness
and seek inspiration.
Talked about learning tocultivate that voice of intuition,
and you talked about thestill, small voice.
(07:34):
And I'm not sure why it'sdesigned that way, but the outside
noise, the snow on the TV asit were, is loud and intrusive.
And that other voice, notalways, but nearly always is a still,
small voice.
And unless we learn to hearit, it will be drowned out.
(07:55):
And so I love that.
Let's go to the next corner ofthe triangle, which is when you learn
to do that, then that allowsyou to have connection to others
in a deep, meaningful, useful,powerful, whatever kind of way.
So talk about that corner a little.
Yes.
This is kind of cyclical.
I'm going to tie it back intothe first part of the triangle.
(08:17):
Inner child work.
And the reason I want to touchon this is because when you give
yourself.
So step one, listen, Tune in.
Listen to yourself.
Step two, give yourself theapproval you need.
Stop looking to your friends,families, boss, colleagues, whoever,
social media, for approval.
Give yourself that love.
Then you show up clean.
Kellen.
(08:37):
Because here's what happens.
I don't come to Kellen with,as Jennifer Cahill, this blank slate.
I come as Jennifer Cahill if Ihaven't done the work, wanting attention,
wanting this, trying to,trying to take energy.
And I think that a lot of whatwe see in the media and the news
on social media is peopletrying to take energy.
(08:57):
When you start off, and thisis actually what Jay and my episode
was about on Super Connections.
Be of service.
You want to be of service.
I show up to any call and Ihave no agenda.
I just ask, you know, let mebe a channel, let me be of service
to this person.
Whether it's a resource, a connection.
Start off by being of service.
In fact, one of the most wellconnected guys in the world was speaking
at a conference with people,thousand people, about 15 years ago
(09:20):
in the Bay Area.
And this guy at the time is upon the stage speaking in front of
all these people.
And he says, the number onesecret to being really well connected
is find out what people needand be of service in that way.
So if I go to you and I'mtrying to get something from you,
we all kind of go, okay, likeyou kind of find yourself getting
(09:40):
back.
But when somebody asksquestions about you, and it might
not be many of you might bethinking, and I get asked this a
lot, oh, I have nothing to give.
I can't tell you how manytimes it breaks my heart when people
say that, Kellen, we all havesomething to give.
It could be an ear, lending anear and listening deeply for somebody
who just needs someone to listen.
Maybe it is a resource, maybeit is a connection.
(10:02):
It doesn't have to be a thing.
It could just be your presencegiving your presence 100% to somebody
could be the greatest gift.
You hear these stories of suicide.
God knows I went through itand tried to take my own life two
or three times by the time Iwas 18, 18 by the time I was 21.
And, you know, sometimes justlistening to somebody and seeing
(10:23):
them can save a person's life.
So you never know.
Don't discount yourself.
When I hear others say, oh, Ihave nothing to give.
How would I ever contribute?
Instead, I would flip thatquestion around and say, what could
I give?
And maybe even ask yourclosest friends, your allies, ask
your favorite chatgpt, whatcould I give?
(10:43):
How can I be a resource toothers in the world?
So, number one, do the work.
Inner child work, whateverwork you want.
Show up clean.
Love yourself first.
Give yourself the love andattention you need.
Step two, go out into the world.
Ask people what matters, whatlights you up.
Ask people about their hopes,wishes, and dreams.
And either listen, be of service.
(11:04):
See if there's some way thatyou can contribute to them.
And in doing so, we all have these.
It's actually funny.
Our mutual friend Yasmina, I'mnot sure if you've seen her TED Talk.
Yasmina Ellis has a fabulousTED Talk on this about the three
types of relationships.
She calls it circumstantial,transactional, and exponential.
Circumstantial is, okay, we'rein the same class together or on
(11:27):
the same plane, right?
Transactional is I need aservice, therefore, I'm going to
purchase this service orproduct from you.
And exponential.
As Yasmina so beautifully,eloquently explains in her talk,
exponential is where we wantour relationships to be.
So I consider myself to bereally fortunate, Kellen, you included
in so many of the wonderfulpeople in my life that every relationship
(11:49):
I have is exponential.
I just don't engage likepeople who often get on a first call
with me, and within fiveminutes, we'll be getting into the
meaning of their life, theirpurpose, and what would really light
them up and how to fulfill on it.
And nine times out of 10people will say, I never have these
sorts of conversations.
And my response is, I onlyhave these sorts of conversations.
I totally agree with you.
(12:10):
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
You finish.
Yeah, please.
No, that was all my only thought.
Okay, well, so I.
This, this not havingsomething to give people saying that
because you.
And because I practice whatyou're talking about so intensely
and so purposefully, it's notunusual for someone to say, well,
(12:34):
I. I I don't think there'sprobably anything I can do to help
you, but, you know, could I,you know, and they'll ask it in that
sort of depreciating way.
And that does the same thing.
I want to cry because it'slike if you just ask somebody what
they're about and you do whatyou said, listen, and then you just
(12:56):
encourage them, wow, what a thing.
And you listened well enoughto actually feel that instead of
just saying it, you will maketheir day.
Like, you will give them love,acknowledgment, appreciation, Even
if you can't think of aconnection or an immediate thing,
(13:17):
that energetic gift can often,oh, you just made my day.
You'll hear that, and thenwhat that does for you is a person
saying it.
And I'm speaking to all thelisteners here.
Look, you'll realize you dohave a gift.
Who you are matters, and youcan give that anytime you want.
(13:38):
You don't need anybody'spermission to love or encourage them.
You can just do that becauseyou said so.
And so I just.
I love that and finding outwhat people need.
When coaches.
Most of my clients are notcoaches, but some of them are.
And they say, how do I getmore clients?
And what I say always is thefirst thing you do is exercise your
(14:00):
give a crap muscle.
You know you do.
You have to exercise your givea crap muscle and become someone
who truly loves people and islooking for that place.
And when you do that, theworld opens up because people are
hungry, starving in many casesfor that feeling and truth.
(14:23):
Yeah, it's so beautiful.
I love that.
Kellen, you made me think of something.
Remind me.
I want to introduce you to afriend of mine, Arthur Samuel Joseph,
who's been one of my othergreatest teachers.
He trained Tony Robbins how tospeak, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery,
and many others.
And he helped me to own thepower of my voice.
And one of the other thingsthat Arthur taught me, listening.
I think if we listen at thesurface level, we're going to miss
(14:45):
so much.
But if we approach everyquestion or sorry, every conversation
from a place of curiosity andfrom what Arthur would call our deeper
listening, it's from notputting place that we unearth something
special.
I often do.
I've done retreats forcorporates and executives and entrepreneurs.
And one of my favoriteexercises to take people through
(15:05):
is a very simple exercise.
We start off, this is one ofmy other favorite techniques to calm
the nervous system, regulateyour nervous system and connect yourself.
And stillness is heartfocused, breathing by heart, math.
So when I'm doing thisfacilitation for people.
We start with heart focusedbreathing by heart math.
I have people who are ingroups of two sitting knee to knee
with each other.
(15:26):
And then we start off puttingthem in the heart focused breathing.
And then we have them ask, oneat a time, what matters to you.
And the only job of the personlistening is to listen for what's
not being said.
And the magic in miracles,Kellen, Every time I've taught this
technique to people in groupsettings or one on one, what happens
for people opens up and blowsyour mind.
(15:47):
Because people don't feelseen, heard, or understood.
And the minute you can givesomeone that gift of being seen,
heard, or understood, that'swhere the floodgates of magic open.
That is so true.
I.
When I talk to people aboutsales, and I'm working with people
about sales, we talk about listening.
(16:09):
And I'll say, you know, ifyou'll just listen with the way you're
talking about, people will buyalmost whatever you're selling.
And the reason is becauseyou're giving them a gift they can't
get anywhere else.
If you just are there andyou're actually curious.
And it has to be beyond that surface.
I had a friend that taught aclass, and he.
(16:32):
He said, you know, there arepeople that you know, and when they
start talking, immediately,your thought is, I wish they'd shut
up.
I don't want to hear whateverit is, you know, whatever like that.
And that is the level of listening.
And then he said, now I want.
I want you to think aboutsomebody in your life, mythical,
real, whatever, where if yougot to talk to them, you would come
(16:55):
listening like every word wasgold and every drop.
Maybe it's a leader, maybeit's God, maybe, whatever.
But, you know, you would justshow up like that.
He said that kind of listeningis a choice, and you have a story
about why you do whatever kindof listening you're doing.
(17:16):
And so his invitation was tothink about the kind of listening
you're choosing to show upwith and then watch the magic happen,
which is what he said.
And that's how he described it.
Somebody.
You're just falling all overyourself, and you just be listening,
right?
And you couldn't wait to bethere in every last second and every
word.
And that's what I thought ofwhen you said that.
(17:39):
And so that's such a fun thing.
And we all know people like that.
And we all know people likethe other kind, too.
It's like, okay, you know,that sort of thing.
And It's a choice was the magic.
So let's get to the thirdpoint of the triangle, which is so
(17:59):
near and dear to my heart too,which is the, the idea, the truth
that you have.
You, each one of you have a purpose.
You're here for a reason.
And as the third point of yourtriangle, you said connection to
self, others, and then adeeper possibility or stronger connection
(18:20):
to your purpose.
Talk about that a little bit.
Yeah, a couple tools.
So one of the things I love todo, Ellen, is I love to share tools
with people.
Some people are kinestheticlearners, some people are visual,
auditory learners.
So one tool I like to helppeople and support them with their
purpose is Gene Keys.
Are you familiar with thattool by.
Richard Redd Dream or Gene?
(18:41):
Gene G E N E K E Jean Keys?
No.
No.
Oh my gosh.
Exploding ahead.
Emoji Kellen, for you and yourlisteners and audience, it's free.
It will boggle your mind.
It is probably one of the bestfree tools I've ever come across
in my life.
Just go to genekeys.com free profile.
You will go down a rabbit hole.
It gives you complimentary audio.
You can drop it in chat, GPTor your favorite AI, have it interpret
(19:04):
it even further, but it givesyou all this free data on the site
and it literally will tell youyour purpose is this.
This is your area of learning,of growth.
Now, I want to be clear of whywe have to do the other two first.
You won't be able to connectto others or to your purpose until
you first get to know yourself.
And that's what I love aboutGene Keys is going deeper into understanding
(19:25):
that now, taking it back tothat deeper listening we were just
talking about.
Our purpose is like knockingat the door all the time.
It's like, hello, hello.
Actually, Arthur is the onewho used to say this to me all the
time.
We've worked together like 15years on and off.
And Arthur would say, jen,when you have like the universe knocking
at your door saying, hello, Ihave something for you, it might
(19:48):
be to be a mother or father,it might be to be an animal trainer
like my sister is.
It might be to be a worldfamous speaker, podcaster, a thought
leader like you, Kellen, thereis no right or wrong purpose.
But you will not be able tohear it unless you tune out the noise.
And then all of a sudden, whenyou start being of service to others,
when you spend that time,invest that time wisely with yourself
(20:12):
every day, that's whensynchronicity starts.
And then all Of a sudden, it'slike the breadcrumbs to your destiny
appear on the path and guideyou divinely to the right people
at the right time.
Even if we make mistakes,which we do, we think, oh, I should
have gone left instead ofright, or I chose the wrong co founder,
I hired the right person, or Idated the wrong person.
(20:34):
There is no wrong person.
These are all just breadcrumbsthat sometimes meander us to our
purpose.
And I find the path is moretried and true and lined with synchronicities
and miracles and magic.
When you quiet the noise andare of service to others, that's,
to me, the magic formula thatthen leads you to.
(20:55):
And it'll be.
It might happen in a conversation.
I have a couple of my bestfriends who are both working on their
divinely guided businessesright now, and it was sometimes just
sitting with it and being inthe inquiry and not just trying to
shove a round pig in a square hole.
I think a big part of thisthat I also want to highlight and
I've never gotten before untilthis moment, Kellen, is patience.
(21:16):
We're living in an AmazonStarbucks culture where we want to
swipe left, swipe right, haveeverybody be delivered to our doorstep.
And I think that this abilityto sit and do nothing and then also
to give of your time andyourself, those things cultivate
a level of patience.
And in doing so, that thenallows us to wait in this divine
(21:40):
sense of grace for the rightopportunity at the right time.
Every time I have a deal I'mabout to close, Kellen.
Whether it's a new client, acoaching client, a client for our
tech company, Optimatch, anysort of big business deal, I literally
pray, meditate, I sayuniverse, if it's in my highest and
best good, their highest andbest good, and humanity's highest
and best good, then pleaseremove any and all obstacles for
(22:03):
all of us.
If for any reason it's not myhighest and best good, their highest
and best good, or humanity'shighest and best good, then please
lovingly redirect each andevery one of us to what will bring
us closer to you and to our purpose.
I just thank you for sayingthat and saying it so clearly.
I.
We do.
We have the ability, we eachhave the ability to be quiet and
(22:26):
to tune into intuition.
It's not some special people.
Some people have developedmore and people maybe were gifted
more.
Everybody has their ownpowerful gifts and talents.
But you, individually, each ofyou have the ability, as Jen said,
to.
To hear that intuition and torespond to those Knocks yes, you
do, and please do, becausethat's where joy is.
(22:50):
The universe is not here torip your head off.
It is here.
Sometimes you go throughdifficult paths and struggles, but
it is for your development,and that's the meandering.
And the mistakes we makearen't mistakes.
It is simply boundaries.
It is learnings.
It is opportunities for growth.
If you go to the gym and youlift, you don't.
(23:11):
You don't get more musclewithout strain.
I don't know why people don'tget the fact that there's an energetic
gravity too.
If you're working against somechange in your heart and your life,
there is a resistance.
And it's just like the truthof the iron in a gym.
The larger the change, themore the resistance, and that resistance
is needed, or you don't getany spiritual growth.
(23:34):
I love that.
You know, I call it spiritualgravity, and I give a whole seminar
on spiritual gravity and howit's an analog and we need to be
grateful for it because it'sconsistent, it's predictable, and
we need it, and it's not theuniverse trying to hurt us.
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
And it's funny you say that.
(23:54):
One of the greatest teachersI've ever had is a gentleman by the
name of David Guillaume, who Ihad the privilege of studying with
for about eight or nine yearsand mentored a whole class with him
for a year.
And he's now become like thenext Joe Dispenza.
He's doing tours, and I justhappened to see something from him
on Social today.
And he said, the reason yourneighbors, your ex wife, your ex
boyfriend, boyfriend, youknow, children, whatever attack you
(24:18):
is they're not attacking you,they're attacking your negativity
and pointing it out to you.
So you have an opportunity totransmute that into something else.
So I was sitting with thattoday, and I shared it with my husband.
I was like, wow, that's beautiful.
So sometimes we feel like ourcolleague, our best friend, whoever
is attacking us.
What if we shifted the lens ofthat, though, and instead said, what
(24:40):
aspect of my negativity arethey attacking to help me transmute
and transform?
So that was from David Guillaume.
I love the fact that you usethe word transmute because transform
means, as you know, changingthe shape of something.
Transmute is like alchemychanging lead into gold.
And so when I talk about whatwe have to do, people ask me what
(25:04):
we're doing when I'm workingwith them.
I say, well, we're going totransmute the Fury of injustice,
the ravages of adversity andthe pain of loneliness into the pure
gold of love, forgiveness and service.
That's not changing a form.
That is a transmuting of something.
And I love that.
And so you use that word andI'm like, oh, bless your heart for
(25:27):
a cool thing.
Well, that's a magical journey.
And so what you've said, itstarts with you love yourself.
There's a book I'm remindedof, Love yourself like your life
depends on it came out of aTED Talk and the first edition was
about that thick.
And the thing on the front isa silhouette of a guy with a.
Looks like he got a gun to his head.
(25:49):
And there's a second editionthat's a lot fatter and doesn't have
that silhouette.
The first edition's fine.
There's nothing wrong with it.
It's beautiful.
But anyway, it talks about thestory of someone who made a huge
change simply by learning thatfirst principle that Jens taught
us.
And from there you areinspired and in tune and you give
(26:09):
yourself permission.
You don't love yourself.
You don't give yourselfpermission for anything because you're
afraid of what others think orjudging yourself or second guessing.
And all this energy suckinggarbage that you do.
And you've talked about that.
We're just turning up thenoise on the old TV's that static.
So I love that you called itthat too.
So that's fantastic.
So you've talked about thatset of triangles and as you do those
(26:36):
and then move in this.
You mentioned two things.
The love you have ofconnecting people and resources together.
And then you have anothercompany, Optimatch.
Tell me a little bit about howyou use this truth that you've explained
so well in.
In either growing business orhelping people or saving the planet.
(26:57):
I mean we all know we.
We need a lot more of that, right?
Especially in what's with theworld the way it is right now?
Tell.
Tell me a little bit moreabout that.
So two things I'm going toback up in terms of saving the planet
because.
Shout out to a friend, KeithHodges, who's actually in our tribe
together, Kellen.
Keith did a session for me.
He's a wonderful, profoundenergy healer and he wanted to thank
(27:20):
me for all the people.
I referred to him back inDecember of last year and it's.
I love that you said save theworld because I had had a reoccurring
nightmare since I was fiveyears old.
Kellen makes me feel likeemotional just to discuss it.
It started when I was five,and I'd have to save a school bus
full of children.
And then as I got into myteens, I had to save the world.
And I'd be floating on a pieceof the earth, looking back at the
(27:43):
destruction of Earth and oh,my God, I didn't save Earth.
And this went on and on fordecades, right?
So in December last year,Keith offers me a complimentary session,
dead sober, 10:30am on a Thursday.
And Keith and I start talkingand he starts intoning and he says,
jen, what do you want to work on?
And I said, oh, Keith, I havethis thing on my shoulder.
I feel like I have to save the world.
I've always had it.
And he's like, great.
So he starts doing theseintonations, the chance, the things
(28:06):
to open up and do whatever he does.
And I kid you not, Kellen, whoosh.
I drop out of space in time.
I don't know what this mandid, but he did some powerful chance.
And right away, I hear myhigher self, the universe, whatever
you want to call it, says tome, laughing, get over yourself.
There is nothing and no one to save.
Get over it.
(28:26):
But what your purpose is, thiswill make me cry.
Is to see the spark of lightin yourself and the moment you've
seen and found that spark oflight in yourself and see and find
that spark of light andreflect it back to every other human
being you meet.
(28:46):
And that is your purpose.
And I was shown, Kellen, allof these beautiful sparks of light,
the billions of sparks oflight that are humanity.
Rather than becomingdisparate, moving more separated
from one another, they werecoming back together to one original
source.
And the last part of thatspectacular vision is I was shown
this magical mirror vis a visDisney, right?
(29:08):
And as I looked into themirror, instead of seeing my own
reflection, I said, saw thefaces of every human I had ever met
or met or would ever meet andreflected to me as myself.
So that's been a powerful reminder.
So, number one, just in termsof saving the world, I'm always called
to remember that we're notsaving anyone.
We're just remembering thespark of genuine light that exists
(29:30):
in all of us.
And then that's similar towhat ties into my purpose and what
we do with Optimatch.
So after I sold my lastcompany in 2018, my co founder of
this new company, Julian, was my.
My business coach who helpedme sell the last one.
And Julian's a sweetheart.
He's a genius softwareengineer, human behavioral expert.
And he said, jen, why don't wecreate an algorithm that mirrors
(29:51):
your intuition for matching people.
Because at that point in therecruitment side, the first business
I sold, I had literallymatched successfully tens of thousands
of people across manydifferent, like, industries, a lot
in the legal world.
And he said, why don't we justbottle that secret formula up inside
your head and then use it tohelp you humans connect with each
other?
And I said, well, shoot, canwe do that?
I'm not a tech person.
(30:11):
And we did.
So we spent eight monthsdeveloping questions, another year
and a half testing it, andoptimatch is now used predominantly
in businesses and sometimesfor communities and events.
And we're even sticking ourtoe in the dating field with one
called Soulmeat Love.
So you can try the normal oneOM app, forward slash survey if you
want to find out how you're motivated.
(30:31):
Or you can go to Seoul M E ET. And that's something that we're
also trying.
And so my goal with this,Kellen, is that every human being
gets to have the magic andmiracles that you and I have.
Once you've done that work,then go out and play in this space
with the people who you'relike and going to feel natural affinity
(30:52):
to.
So what we found and what Ifound in 20 years of recruiting is
that if you and I aresimilarly motivated, Kellen, we're
immediately going to feelpsychologically safe, deeper intimacy,
et cetera.
There's a way I describe it topeople, kind of like a sine wave.
Imagine if Kellen and Jenniferare similarly motivated and you overlap
our sine waves one on top ofthe other.
What happens?
(31:12):
It amplifies the effect ofthat sine wave.
However, let's imagine insteadthat you have Jennifer and Kellen
on opposite sides, right?
Two separate sine waves inorder to energetically match each
other.
I was just teaching a class onthis to a leadership team yesterday.
We, the two sine waves have toexhaust a lot of their energy and
resources to meet in themiddle of where their motivators
(31:34):
lie.
So that's been my life's work,is understanding what has us connect,
what has us disconnect, andhow do we create greater coherence
and relationships.
I just love that because I'man audio engineer.
I know the visceral and, youknow, the sound consequences.
And there's names for all thatin audio engineering that excite
(31:55):
like waves and samefrequencies amplify each other and
get louder and others tend to cancel.
And all kinds of noisecanceling headphones work.
It just takes a sample of thenoise around you and Creates an opposite
wave.
And so it cancels the noise onthe airplane or wherever it is.
That's how they work.
And so you're.
The.
The idea that you are mo youand I or anyone, is motivated by
(32:17):
a thing, creating a certain energy.
You know, we used to think ofthat as weird speak, but it's not.
It's the truth.
The easy way to think about itis you're in a room and someone walks
in and you haven't even turnedaround yet, and the air changes and
you know that they'refrustrated or that they're really
happy.
The energy is transmitted and those.
Those waves are real and wecan't measure them or do all that
(32:39):
stuff very well yet.
But that is so true.
And discovering that and then amplifying.
It's why two people can speakto the same audience.
And one person will motivate acertain group or speak to them and.
And the other person, anothergroup, you know, and that's why.
That's why it's so importantto understand that every person has
(32:59):
a message and a meaning andnobody's going to save the world,
right?
But we sometimes feel like wewere supposed to.
And what I think at least iswhen we have these times in our lives
when we overcome something,when we go do some deep soul work
and we realize that we'rebeing healed or have healed ourselves
or we're growing in some way,it seems like at that same time there
(33:23):
always arises with that.
That yearning to help others,to serve others with that.
It seems to be connected.
When we grow, it's like, oh,who can I help?
That seems to rise up with people.
Because when I interviewpeople like this all the time, I
say, why is this important to you?
And they always tell me, well,it happened to me.
And sometimes I'll say, well,why don't you just be happy for you
(33:45):
and go away.
But.
But I can't do that.
And so there seems to arisewith that in us.
And I think it's because it's our.
Our divine nature.
We're built to love and serveeach other.
And your coherence andconnection of all those points of
light is a beautiful example.
Love is an attractive force.
Fear, hate, all that otherstuff is a repelling, divisive, negative
(34:07):
force.
We can see that.
So being, loving yourself,finding your spark, reflecting that
beautifully to others.
What a beautiful description.
So thank you for that.
That's my pleasure.
I feel very lucky.
I've had beautiful meditations.
I've done plant medicines andsuch in my life.
But the most Profound visionsI've ever had.
(34:27):
A bit sober and meditation.
I agree with you.
I had a guy I was talking tothe other day that said, you know,
he had never done this, and hewas feeling really moved to go do
a plant ceremony.
Yeah, I don't care.
But I had another client who'ddone it like, 20 times, and every
time he went to connect to theuniverse and everything, he came
back with all this stuff.
(34:48):
And.
And then I said, okay, well,are we gonna, like, is this gonna
cause some change in action?
And it seemed like it turnedinto a crutch or a thing to go do
from outside.
And the truth is in you.
The truth isn't out there.
Spark is in you.
The divinity is in you.
The capability is in you.
The love is in you.
(35:08):
It's not out there somewhere.
Yeah, it's.
For what it's worth.
What David Guillaume, theteacher I mentioned earlier, who
said the thing about yourneighbors and attacking you, I love
the way he put it in theKabbalah class I was studying.
I've studied Kabbalah forabout 13, 14 years now.
And David said, if you were totell me you're never going to study
Kabbalah or go deep intospirituality in your life, I would
say, go do plant medicine.
(35:29):
But he's like, not having doneit himself.
Right.
Because sometimes it can be acatalyst, and we all might need that
little extra nudge to see thatinner spark.
So you can get there throughdeep spiritual work, bala Buddhism,
other studies, whatever lightsyour, you know, spark, so to speak.
Or you can also do somethinglike plant medicine to kind of jumpstart
(35:50):
it for you, though you can getto the same destination.
It's.
As I mentioned earlier,there's all these breadcrumbs that
lead us to our destiny.
There are many paths.
Some meander and havebrambles, and some are beautiful
rolling hills of green andfountains and water and fairy dust.
Well, I love that, and I agreewith you 100%.
And, you know, I have alwaysfelt that the.
(36:11):
The.
The tools are in you, and ifyou need other tools, that's fine,
but the tools.
And I just.
The tools are in you.
The capabilities in you.
You matter.
You have this.
Even if it's got layers ofwhite noise on the TV over the top
of it, it's time to turn thatdown and start where Jen taught us,
which is at the.
At the place of stillness tostart with.
(36:34):
So what else haven't I askedyou that you would love to share?
Comes up for you, that wouldbe like, ooh, that's cool.
Let's do that.
What I just heard, I feeldeeply people's energy and how the
audience is responding to this.
What I just heard, Kellen, is,yeah, but I feel safe, sad.
(36:56):
Kellen.
Jen, I get it.
You're talking about thingsthat are so far outside my capacity.
And I just want.
I want those of you who arefeeling that way to know I've been
there.
I have been so inconsolableand so crushingly lonely and sad
that I couldn't get out ofbed, that I drank and I drugged and
(37:16):
I was bulimic for a decade.
I don't want you to think thatyou're broken or wrong.
Wherever you're at, if you'refeeling crushingly sad right now,
allow yourself to feel thatway sometimes even doing the littlest
thing.
You know, we were talkingearlier about being of service.
I remember when I firststarted studying Kabbalah, they talk
(37:37):
about how to get yourself outof depression.
And I've been depressed in mylife more times than I'd like to
count, really suicidally depressed.
And the thing I know now is twofold.
That changes things for me.
One, that when we're sad, ifwe can do one act of kindness for
another person, smiling,opening a door, getting outside of
(37:59):
that self and, you know, goingdeeper and deeper into the loneliness,
get outside of yourself.
See if you can do one kindthing, go volunteer, be of service
to somebody else.
And the other thing when itcomes to depression is that sometimes
we don't even know how to askfor help.
How to run up the white flagand just say, please help me is share.
(38:21):
You know, we all have one person.
It could be the person at thegrocery store, we all have to eat
right, or the Uber eats personwho drops off your food.
Share.
Just share and say that youneed help, because there's no shame
in needing help.
And one of the things that nowhelps me kabbalistically is I understand
that we all go throughdifferent tests and challenges that
(38:43):
are designed for our soul.
And God forbid, you know, ifwe do choose to take our own life,
which some people do, we getto come back and do it all over again,
but harder.
So that's one of the bigthings that, you know, stops me now
is I go, okay, I'm going togive myself permission to feel sad.
And I choose how long I'mgoing to be sad for.
So before sadness wouldoverwhelm me and depression would
(39:04):
overwhelm me for days, weeks,months, years.
And now when I get depressedor if I feel sad, I Still feel sad.
I still feel lonely.
I'm still human.
There is no perfection in anyof us.
None of us can be perfect.
We still have human emotionsand feelings, though.
When I feel that way, I talkto it.
I say, okay, sadness, what areyou trying to teach me?
What does that feel like?
(39:25):
I was just doing an interviewwith another interesting guy.
He'd be a great guest for yourshow as well, Dr. Andy Hahn, who
has a book called the One HourMiracle, and he was sharing with
me how he was treatingdepression, that he would have his
patients go into that feeling.
One guy described it like oatmeal.
You know, like being in stickyoatmeal and, you know, figuring out
what is that feeling?
Trying to teach you, wheredoes it come from?
(39:46):
And the moment we can just bewith the most difficult aspects of
ourselves, of somebody else,of those feelings we don't want to
feel, then when we can be withthat without resistance, that's where
freedom comes.
That's where suffering endsand limitless possibility begins.
I love that.
I had a friend that describedsomething like that.
This way, if you fullyexperience the end, the outcome of
(40:11):
any feeling that is fullyexperienced is joy.
And what he meant by that is,even these sad ones, if you give
yourself permission, I'm sad.
I'm overwhelmingly sad.
And I feel that.
And ask the questions thatyou've just said, what is this?
What is about?
What can I learn here?
What's the gift here?
That's the one I always use.
What's the gift here?
(40:32):
And I mean it when I ask it.
It's not sarcastic, becausethat requires a degree of surrender,
which is I believe that thereis possibility and there is a path
here.
And so rather than fight it orbe mad at it, I'm just going to ask,
what's the gift here?
And sincerely look for it.
And to go do something nice.
(40:53):
It's so easy on social.
One of the things I do in themorning is I go through in my creations.
I'll go through whatever,Facebook messenger, WhatsApp or whatever,
and I'll go through those, andinspiration will strike.
And I will send peoplemessages of love and uplift and maybe
repair or acquaintance or something.
(41:14):
And something about doing thatdoes what you're talking about, because
you're doing a thing, you'rereflecting a spark or you're acknowledging
a spark in someone.
Yeah, Beautiful, Kellen.
And one other thing on theflip side that I'm about to share
with the audience is one of mynew favorite things.
There was something created byGlenn and Natalie ledwell called
(41:36):
Mind Movies that was sold toJoe Dispenza I don't know how many
years ago.
And they had a software whereyou would stream together different
images and then it would be aturn into Mind Movie.
I think it still exists, I'mnot sure.
So you could go to that website.
And the way that I startedplaying with it a couple months ago
is in March, I was like, waita Second, we have ChatGPT and AI.
I wonder if I could customcreate images of my dream life and
(41:58):
weave those into a series ofimages using canva or Chat or something
and call it like my version ofa mind movie.
Right.
Where you would call it like avision board, a moving vision board,
whatever you would want tocall it.
And I, Kellen, it has been remarkable.
I've done it for myself,myself, for my coaching clients.
The Results, the first 10slides I created back on, like, March
(42:18):
15th, by, I think it was endof April, five of the slides had
happened of things I wanted tocreate in the world.
And so now I'm teachingeverybody else how to do it.
I love it.
I remember actually when mymovies first came out, it was Natalie
and then some fellow that shewas working with for a while.
Yeah, Glenn, way back, I thinkit was 2012 or 13, 12 or 13 years
(42:40):
ago.
And I remember them coming outand I actually bought one, bought
a subscription to whatever itwas then.
Of course, the software hasevolved at least 5,000 times since
then.
I mean, after all, 13 years is forever.
Well, that's fabulous.
And so I agree with that.
The mind movies are fun.
They're powerful, and they'refun to make, too.
Yeah, it's perfect vision.
(43:01):
You know, we used to do thesevision boards.
And I can't tell you how manytimes in my life, Kellen, I've created
a vision board.
And it was back in the daywhere you, like, rip out pieces of
magazine and then stick it on,like a cork board or whatever.
And now we can do that with AI.
And so why not everybody,like, we spend so much time on social.
Take your favorite images on social.
But, and I will caution you,here's a funny story about this.
(43:22):
So one of the images of thefirst 10 slides I created for my
first movie was a private jet.
I was like, ah, you know, I'veflown private a few times.
I'd love to fly private more.
But here was the funny thingbecause careful what you wish for.
So that exact private jet thatwas in my movie on the tarmac at
sunset, I got on the jet, butit didn't take off because it was
at a private event where theywere featuring private jets.
(43:43):
So you have to be sure if youwant to be on private jet, it has
to be in the air, you know?
So think carefully about whatit is you're creating and be nuanced
about the literalness of it.
I love that.
So let's.
Let's make sure everybodyknows where to find you.
So if they've heard you andyou've given such moving and true
and powerful stories andadvice and help and encouragement,
(44:08):
where can people get more ofJennifer Cahill?
Thank you, Kellen.
I appreciate it.
So, one thing I wouldrecommend again, you can go to jenniferkhill.com
is a nice, easy way that youcan connect with me there.
I also write a weekly LinkedInnewsletter called Insights Inspired
Living Tools.
If you Google Inspired LivingTools, every week a new newsletter
(44:29):
comes out with some of myfavorite tips and tools.
And you can find an episode Idid with Kellen on my Super Connections
podcast.
So for years, I did a podcastcalled Regarding Consciousness.
You can still find those.
I did it with Deepak Chopraand Don Hoffman and Bruce Lipton
and Greg Braden and all sortsof lovely folks who are friends.
And then I pivoted that one toone that we just had killing on called
Super Connection.
(44:50):
So you can now find that one.
If anybody's interested, it.
Thank you.
Is there any final thing you'dlike to live leave with us from your
brightness and your joy?
And I want to reallyacknowledge you for sharing your
soul, your tears, your heart,your love, the truth of your becoming
and your being with us today.
(45:13):
Thank you, Kellen.
I will leave everybody with aquote that I began a class with yesterday.
The world is not.
We don't see the world as it is.
We see the world as we are.
So ask yourself, what filterare you seeing yourself, your life,
and the world through today?
If you don't like that filter,choose a different one.
You know, it's so profound tounderstand that we can choose a different
(45:37):
one because we start with ourlenses that we have, and we have
this story that that's theonly ones that exist, right?
I mean, we do see the worldthe way we are.
We can't do anything else.
It's the only ones we've gotuntil we realize you can take them
off.
You know, that's the first realization.
Of course.
You see the world the way you are.
(45:59):
What else can you do?
And the revelation is, I don'thave to wear those.
And that's the beauty.
I love it.
I love it.
Jennifer, thank you for beingon the show today.
Thank you, Kellen.
And thank you to yourlisteners and audience.
I'm intending each and everyone of you, maybe there was some
little nugget, whatever it ismay grow in you and may your spark
(46:20):
grow too.
And may you be able to see thespark in yourself and in those around
you.
I want to encourage you to goback and listen to this again, maybe
some parts a couple of timesor three times or five times.
Write down the names, thewebsites that she gave us because
there's good in there.
There's gold in there for you.
And you'll know as you listenwhat's for you.
(46:41):
Because if you do that and youfollow your intuition, you'll be
able to create your ultimate life.
Right now, your opportunityfor mass and grow growth is right
(47:02):
in front of you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflukermedia.com if you want
more free tools, go hereYourUltimateLife CA subscribe, share.
(47:28):
And your feet are on the ground.
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