August 22, 2025 • 41 mins
Are you tired of telling yourself stories that keep you stuck?
In this raw solo episode of Your Ultimate Life, Kellan Fluckiger pulls no punches. It’s not your boss, your family, or your circumstances — it’s the lies you’ve agreed to live with.
You’ll discover:
- The hidden self-deceptions that kill progress before it starts.
- Why affirmations fail if you don’t face the truth.
- The mindset shift that separates dreamers from doers.
- How to stop lying and finally create unstoppable movement.
📌What's Next? Do this...
It’s time to tell the truth about your power. If you’re ready to turn your story into a book, a movement, and a business, join the Dream Build Write It Challenge starting September 29th - it's free to join.
➡️ dreambuildwriteit.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You are the cause of themisery in your own life.
You may not like that, and youmay want to yell at me or scream
how come I'm stupid?
But it's still true.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power, and real talk, so you can
(00:23):
create the life you dream anddeserve your ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create.
You have infinite power.
Now let's explore why I haveas a background love, the light within.
And the name of this showtoday is what would be different
(00:46):
in your life if you trulyloved yourself.
If you or I are looking to getour validation and love from outside,
we're going to be waiting along time.
We're going to live a lifethat's sporadically up and down.
We're going to feel likesometimes we're okay, and then immediately
afterwards, 2 minutes, 5minutes, next day, next month, we're
(01:06):
going to feel like we're theworst things in the earth and none
of it's our fault.
So let's get back to basics,because this podcast is about learning
to live an ultimate life.
Ultimate life.
I use that word like.
We hear that all the time.
Ultimate this, ultimate that,and it doesn't even mean anything.
It's lost its meaning.
(01:27):
So when I say, live yourultimate life, that means, for me,
I use the word purpose,prosperity, and joy.
You can use other words, butdo you even have them?
If I ask, what is yourultimate life?
I ask that all the time.
People rarely can answer it,and they say things like, all the
money I want, all the freedomI want, all the time I want.
(01:51):
That's not going to be yourultimate life.
How do I know that?
Having talked with thousandsof people and explored it, Money
is great.
It allows you to, you know,enjoy what you want, solves problems.
It even allows you to be ofservice to others.
Freedom is only useful ifwe're using it to serve.
If we're using it for selfindulgence, that pleasure lasts about
(02:14):
that long.
All the time you already haveall the time there is.
So if you have a story aboutnot having time, that's yours.
Because you and I, we bothhave all the time there is.
The only reason if you feellike you don't have time is because
you have chosen to fill yourlife with things you don't want to
(02:38):
do, and so you feel like youdon't have time to do the things
you do want to do.
You did that.
You did that.
So let's talk about what wouldhappen if you truly loved yourself?
Well, the first thing youmight do is listen to how you talk
(02:59):
to yourself.
I don't know if you have apet, okay?
But people that own pets,whether they're, you know, birds
or, you know, we normallythink of cats and dogs, but whatever
people that love pets, you seetheir behavior toward the pet.
Now, we recently had theexperience of having to put one of
(03:22):
our cats down.
Old 15 had chronic kidney disease.
15 is not too old for a cat.
But that's all she lasted.
Now it was obvious to me howmuch my wife Joy, my angel.
I'm married to an angel whowalks on water.
But it was amazing to me anddelightfully gratifying and touching
and deeply spiritual to seehow much she loved the cat.
(03:46):
And it was easy to see becauseon the night before, we had to take
her in to the vet.
She held her all night as sheslept, get up in the night, go to
the bathroom, took her withher, you know, and she was able to
talk to her much of the nightand whisper and touch softly and
gently and tenderly.
(04:09):
The cat didn't move.
It was just receiving that love.
So it was obvious in thelanguage and the behavior and the
movement that there was love there.
Deep, unconditional, tenderexpression of love.
So I'm asking you to thinkabout how would your life be different
(04:29):
if you loved yourself like that?
Or more, if you were kind, ifyou were tender, if you spoke well
and encouragingly to yourself,if you lifted and blessed yourself,
if you forgave yourselfimmediately and completely for everything
that didn't go right.
(04:49):
So, for example, as this cat'sgotten older, she's had trouble getting
to the litter box.
Ckd chronic kidney disease,which makes it difficult.
And so she has a favorite spotor two on different places in the
house where she pees.
Yeah, we've had to clean up alot of that over the last couple
of years as she's gotten older.
(05:11):
No problem.
Not angrily, not negatively.
Just that's what you do whenyou love.
Do you do that with you or doyou get after yourself?
Do you beat the crap out ofyourself when you say something wrong
or do something wrong or getscared or do whatever it is?
Like, here's the question.
If I ask you, do you love you?
(05:31):
I ask most people that, wouldyou love yourself?
Here's what usually happens.
Well, yeah, yeah, I love myself.
So there's a hesitation.
There's some conditioningaround it.
And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ilove myself.
And then here's the real question.
If I Watched you.
If I were a fly on the walland heard every thought in your head
and everything you spoke andeverything you did, how you treated
(05:54):
yourself, would I believe you?
Would it be obvious that youloved yourself?
So when we're talking aboutthe ultimate life, we say it's money,
time and freedom, or whatever.
You say money is fun time.
You already have all there is.
Freedom.
You have all there is.
(06:15):
Anything that's on yourcalendar or in your life, work you
do, people you care for, thoseare your choices.
So if you want to enjoy yourlife fully every day, all day long,
then stop having obligations.
Either either renegotiate themor change your attitude.
Choose to love them.
(06:37):
With the cat, we could havechosen to be frustrated and inconvenienced
with several trips to the vetand the hospital and emergency, this,
that and the other, or justtake it as part of the expression
of love.
Do you do that for you?
So right now, I want to startwith something.
I want to give you anabsolute, unconditional, complete
pardon.
Forgive yourself foreverything that didn't happen.
(06:58):
Right.
Forgive yourself for everyjudgment where you judged yourself
to be inadequate.
Not good enough.
Shameful, fearful, Wrong.
Now, if there's somethingabout your behaviors or talking language
or something you want tochange, go ahead and do that.
But do it from a place of loveand forgiveness, not from a place
of anger and shame.
(07:20):
Love yourself.
Now, I want to talk abouttoday, about what would be different
for you if you truly loved yourself.
So I'm going to share with yousome things that have changed for
me.
As I go in and live from thatplace, my days are way more peaceful.
I used to have days full ofturmoil and frustration because I
(07:42):
was always behind the eight ball.
I had a list of things I wassupposed to do, and if I didn't get
them all done on time, fastenough, good enough.
Frustration.
And I called that the eightball feeling.
Because I felt like I wasbehind the eight ball all the time.
Not enough, not quick enough,too late to this, to that.
Didn't work.
Should have been better.
You know the drill.
You've done that.
When I completely forgavemyself and trusted that I was doing
(08:06):
what I loved and needed to do,life became beautiful.
Not just once in a while, butevery moment.
So I can honestly look youright in the eyes with the love in
my heart and tell you I livethat ultimate life, a life of purpose,
prosperity and joy, every day,all day long, no exceptions.
(08:27):
I didn't fall up that mountain.
So my invitation is toconsider for you to consider what
would your life be like if youfully and completely loved yourself,
as evidenced by how you talkto you, how you think about you,
how you judge yourself ordon't, and your walk and conversation
with others.
(08:47):
Now there's a lie that we tell.
We say, of course I love myself.
Love is not a feeling.
It's a verb.
It's an action.
You know, there's a consequentfeeling that comes from it, but not
the other way around.
I don't do things for peoplebecause I have the feeling of love.
I do things and that createsthe feeling of love.
(09:08):
We love whom we serve.
Now when we get to the otherwith a partner, yes, there's a romantic
and you know, pheromones andhormones and all that stuff where
we have a physical attraction,but that's such a micro.in the true
constellation of love, a tinylittle star.
(09:28):
Now, the myth of loving yourself.
Here's how you tell Are youengaged in constant self criticism?
I don't know.
If you do, you're not loving yourself.
What would you, what would itbe like if you were engaged in constant
encouragement, constant selfforgiveness, constant view of possibilities,
constant kindness and caring?
(09:49):
What would your life be likeif you took care of yourself spiritually,
physically, emotionally,mentally and dispense with the nonsense
that says I don't have time todo that.
Yes, you do.
And not only do you have time,it's essential because.
Because when you're halfbaked, or I am, we can't serve others.
(10:12):
We, we're not there, we'rehalf there.
You know what it's like todrag yourself somewhere and half
do it because you're justsupposed to be there.
That's not fun for you andit's not good service for whatever
you're doing.
Far better to prepareyourself, get in the right mindset
and state and then go thereand be all in.
It's way more effective anyway.
(10:33):
When I talk about my dailycreation process, it is a self love
process.
I take a couple of hours,sometimes a little longer every morning
to create myself.
That means to love myself, toconnect with the divine, to hear
the voice of God, to getdirection, to forgive myself freely
and fully, to start everymorning pure and committed, to send
(10:58):
love notes to others, to readsacred and holy literature, to remind
me who I am as a child of God.
Like this, this process, Iwould never skip it.
And the reason is because itreminds me who I am and it makes
me way more powerful andeffective during the day, every day,
all the time, without fail.
And so why would you skipsomething that is like gives you
(11:20):
a million dollars every morning.
If you could go get a milliondollars every morning, would you
skip?
Course not.
Well, this is better than that.
So the first question I havefor you is, is the pattern of your
behavior, your language, yourattitude, your internal dialogue,
all that stuff, does that looklike a person who's deeply in love
(11:42):
with themselves, who honorstheir divinity?
Do you honor your divinity?
I do.
I honor you.
I love you.
You're a divine being.
You came from the same place I did.
I just got off a call a littlewhile ago with three powerful, powerful
women who are in a group thatI'm leading to write a book.
They're each writing books andstories and creating some programs
(12:04):
from their life.
They've had life experience.
It's amazing.
And to hear them describe thevision of what they have, what their
book's going to do andprograms and what they're up to right
now was melting tears and justthe power of their vision.
And at the same time, everyone of them, me, you, all of us can
(12:26):
fall immediate victim to thislanguage and self doubt and I'm not
good enough and who wouldlisten and all the rest, that's not
love.
That is judgment and fear ofwhat others are going to think.
Okay.
If someone treated your childthe way you treat yourself, would
you let them?
It's an interesting question.
(12:47):
Another way you, you show youdon't love yourself is if you swallow
truth so you'll be acceptedinstead of speaking up, instead of
speaking your truth.
Another way that manifests isoverworking without resting your
soul, thinking that somehowyou're obligated.
I have a system that I use andif you want help with any of this,
(13:09):
get a hold of me.
See this?
Sorry.
Kellenflukermedia.com you seethis right here?
Go to that website.
There's a contact form.
Love to hear from you.
My whole business is helpingyou create your ultimate life, however
you define it, purpose,prosperity, joy.
And prosperity includes allthe cash you need to live the way
(13:33):
you want to live and toaccomplish the service you want to
accomplish.
That's all I do.
My goal now in the last twoand a half months of my year, which
ends October 14th, is tofinish my outrage to 300 million
people.
To teach your worth, youridentity, your possibility, ownership
of your life and sovereignty.
(13:55):
Those are the foundational concepts.
If you live like your lifebelongs to someone else, it's hard
to have fun.
It's hard to be committed and dedicated.
So I want you to think about.
I want you to just look at yourself.
Where are you lying toyourself about loving yourself?
Where are you violating yourboundaries, your inner truth?
(14:17):
Things you know you shouldn'tbe allowing in your life?
Here's an exercise I do with clients.
This is a very practical exercise.
Empty your calendar.
Empty it so there's nothing on it.
And then start putting back inthe things or putting in the things
you are committed to, you wantto do, not.
(14:39):
You're obligated.
No obligations.
Excuse me.
No obligations, only commitments.
Here's what happened for me.
I had the feeling and livedwith it.
And it was very distressingand destructive.
I have all these obligations.
Oh, I got to do this.
And I got it.
Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta,gotta, have to, have to, have to,
right?
(15:00):
Anytime you feel anobligation, it's.
It carries with it the seedsof resentment.
I don't.
I'd really rather be doingsomething else.
Right?
I'd rather be doing something else.
But I gotta do this.
I have no choice.
I have to.
That kind of language orfeeling, it's not true and it's destructive.
So here's the question.
If you emptied your calendarand only put back the things you
(15:21):
want to do, you're committedto do, and I'm drawing a big, huge
Grand Canyon wide distinctionbetween obligation and commitment.
A commitment is a holy, sacredpromise you make on purpose that
you want to have, that you canturn one into the other.
And we do that.
(15:41):
You know how you can see thatPeople make a commitment to spend
their lives together.
They get hook up as partnersor get married.
And then in a year or two orten, they fall out of love, they
grow apart, make all kinds of excuses.
And then that commitment,which was once joyful and powerful,
has become a drag, anobligation, an albatross, a pain
(16:01):
in the ass, what happened?
Well, you chose to morph the commitment.
Well, they change.
They suck.
Okay?
The truth is you changed itfrom a commitment to an obligation.
And the minute you do that,mentally so in your soul, spiritually,
(16:24):
it becomes a drag on you.
So look at all the things thatyou have.
Even with work, people say,well, I got to go to work.
Why?
I gotta pay rent, gotta eat,gotta pay for all these things.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
Yeah, there'd be consequencesfor not doing it.
But what would happen if yousay, I'm committed to this work,
(16:46):
I'm grateful I have it,whatever it is.
Why?
Because it allows me to liveand have a place and to eat and to
enjoy life.
It allows that.
So I'm committed I'm going todo a great job.
And if I don't like, if Idon't find it fulfilling and I want
to look for another one or addsomething else, okay.
But you can do it from a placeof love and power.
(17:06):
And if you don't know thatyou're missing out on the joy of
life.
Because when you do the greatwork with what you are doing, what
you've already chosen to do,and at the same time you create something
new, a side hustle, adifferent job, a start, a business,
whatever it is, you can doboth from a place of love and power
and then both are nourishingto the soul and fun instead of one
(17:30):
being a pain in the ass.
And then I get to like workingfor the weekend.
I do this job I hate, then Igo party on the weekend or get to
relax or binge Netflix or playwith kids or whatever.
Both can be joyful and fulfilling.
It is your choice.
It is your choice and no onecan choose it for you and no one
can make it either way.
(17:51):
So empty your calendar.
Only put your commitments back.
The things you're committedto, you feel good about now.
If that leaves a bunch ofholes or it leaves you broke and
without a place, then askyourself, am I committed to having
a roof?
I am.
I love it.
So right now, the method Ihave for having a roof is this work.
(18:15):
Then love it and lean in.
You might think this is atrivial stupid mind game.
It's not.
It's a world changingdistinction and turns you from a
victim into an owner.
It turns you from a wimp onthe sidelines to a powerhouse in
the middle of the game.
And if you don't know how todo that and you want my help, get
a hold of me.
(18:36):
Kellenfluker media.com Whoops.
Kellenfluker media.Com There'sa contact form.
Let's talk.
Because my whole life isdedicated to helping you get the
joy that you deserve and liveon fire and excited.
And there's no reason youcan't have it unless you're unwilling
to go get it.
That million dollars a day issitting right there waiting.
(18:59):
But you have to go get it.
We've indoctrinated ourselveswith the idea that everything's gotta
be easy.
But if I have to work, it sucks.
It's not true.
Growth only happens through work.
So that's the whole point oflying about loving yourself.
The next thing I want to talkabout is a little more about what
self love actually looks like.
(19:21):
Okay, Watching yourself Wetalked about that.
Your self talk and how youtreat yourself and everything else
for the whole week.
Just start with a day even.
And then just notice.
No.
No chastisement, no criticism,no anger, no frustration.
Just watch.
Notice.
(19:42):
Now that's the first part of abillion dollar tool I'm going to
give you right now.
It's worth a billion dollars.
It's called notice and choose.
Right now you're just doingthe notice part.
So go through a day or two.
Notice exactly how you talk toyourself internally and externally,
how you feel, how you treat yourself.
Just notice.
Make some notes, okay?
This is my current habit, thecurrent way I treat myself.
(20:06):
If you're not satisfied withit, if it doesn't make you feel beloved
and empowered and strong, thennow's the second part.
Choose.
If I really loved myself, likein the.
In the fiercest and mostsupportive and beautiful way possible,
what else would I say?
What would I say instead?
(20:29):
What would I.
What would I do instead?
And answer that question honestly.
And then choose that noticeand choose.
Notice and choose.
Notice and choose.
That framework will fix yourbody, your bank account, your mind,
(20:51):
your heart, your relationshipsand everything else because you shape
your reality as you exercise.
Notice and choose.
I want you to be aware, besensitive, to be present to whatever
words you want to use.
How your words, your attitude,your thinking, your internal and
external dialogue, how thatactually shapes your reality.
(21:17):
If you walk around, I hate this.
Oh, that sucks.
How come then you have shapeda reality of an unpleasant day.
The world and the universe isstacked against me and this and that
sucks.
And all the accompanying, youknow, negative neurotransmitters.
If, on the other hand, yousay, I'm grateful for this, grateful
to be breathing, I'm gratefulthis is happening.
(21:38):
I encourage myself.
I know I'm doing my best, I amin fact allowed to rest.
I'm allowed to recharge.
One phrase I say is, I haveeverything to give and nothing to
prove.
(22:00):
I want you to think about that.
I have everything to give andnothing to prove.
And here's why.
That doesn't mean I haveinfinity money.
But money isn't.
It's not even the mostvaluable thing.
We have your time, yourattention, and your love.
Those are the three thingsthat you have.
You have time.
All there is.
You have your attention andyou have 100% control over that.
(22:24):
And your love or yourintensity, your intention.
Attention and intention.
That's all you own.
Now, what you'll notice iswherever you put your time, attention
and love.
I think of it as a beam ofpower that comes out of our faces,
right?
That will grow.
So if I put it on negativestuff, it grows.
(22:45):
If I put it on scarcity, it expands.
If I put it on nurturing, that grows.
If I put it on creating moremoney, it grows.
And if you don't know how todo that, let's talk.
Because money is easy to create.
Money is easy to create.
So if you're with the story ofI don't have enough of that.
(23:06):
Okay, let's create some.
I don't have enough love.
Okay, let's create some.
I don't have enough good connections.
Okay, let's create some.
Your time, attention and lovebeam, that's your power beam.
So if you truly loved yourselfdeeply and fiercely and furiously
and gently and in a holy way,you would know it and you'd immediately
(23:30):
be able to recognize those things.
And if you monitor your selftreatment, how you talk and treat
yourself, anytime you noticethe good stuff, honor it.
There you go.
Notice again how it makes you feel.
Notice and choose is not justfor fixing things, but for reinforcing
things.
So every time you do thatreally well, notice and choose.
(23:54):
I'm going to do that again.
That felt really good.
Supportive, empowering,lifting, blessing.
It made me want to do that again.
Notice and choose.
And if you have situationsover here where you didn't choose
that, notice and then choose.
Did I like the outcome?
(24:14):
Do I feel good?
Did it build?
Did it lift?
Did it add good to the world?
Or did I add contention andhate and anger or apathy or negativity?
You get to choose.
So do I.
What we add to the world.
So I want you to get an idearight now.
If you loved yourself, howwould you talk to you?
I gave you some examples.
You know you're doing yourbest or giving yourself permission
(24:37):
to rest or recharge, forgivingyourself if you failed.
I have one woman in one of mybook groups right now that's writing
a.
A masterpiece on disappointment.
A masterpiece ondisappointment and how it has shaped
her life.
And then she does.
She's a PhD and she knows alot about neurochemistry and brains
(24:57):
and the names of all kinds ofdoodads in there.
I don't know, but she knowswhat it does and then can has presented
in this book, which will befabulous, will be done in a couple
of months.
She has given us tools tonotice and choose about disappointment,
to reframe it, to make it,turn it into power.
(25:20):
Instead of an indictment, itbecomes a data point for growth and
permission, for forgivenessand for Recalibration and resurgence.
Her method, four Rs is really good.
So there's another one.
But everyone who has gonethrough these struggles has discovered
things and wants to share them.
(25:41):
You know one of the best waysyou can love yourself, share your
story, your story of growth,your story of overcoming.
Now, I don't mean a pity partywhere we all sit around a bitch about
how bad the world is and howwe got screwed by this, that and
the other.
I'm not talking about that.
When you have made, whenyou're in that situation, get the
help you need.
(26:02):
You know, I had two.
We do get a coach, get a counselor.
But that won't work unless youmake a first determination to love
yourself enough to repairyourself, to love yourself enough
to forgive yourself.
And forgiving others goeswithout saying.
They're on their own journey.
You don't have to condone whatthey did or agree or put yourself
(26:24):
in danger or any of that.
But forgiveness is a personalliberation moment.
So forgive freely and fully,everyone, everything, all the time
period.
Just do that.
Don't carry the weight ofanger, retribution, vengeance, negativity,
hurt, invalidation.
(26:45):
You don't have to carry thatbecause whatever they did or said
doesn't actually mean that itis their own story.
So let's talk about findingmore power through self love, shall
we?
You and I, we don't createbecause we're perfect.
(27:05):
Like you've gone through yourown sets of struggles.
I know.
Or you wouldn't be here.
You wouldn't be striving toget to the ultimate life.
And we're not talking aboutthe easy button.
We know that doesn't exist.
You create.
You and I, we create becausewe are loved.
We are loved by our Creator.
You were given divine giftsand talents.
You are also given massivechallenges and struggles and problems
(27:28):
to develop those challenges,to develop the empathy and the peace,
the power to be of service to others.
You know how it is when you,you've gone through something and
somebody in sort of alightweight way says, oh, I'm really
sorry for you.
And you know, because of theenergy that they may think they mean
it, but they have, they don'thave the understanding to issue you
(27:51):
true support and empathy.
And maybe they don't even meanit, they're just being polite.
So you know when that happens,your meter goes off and you either
ignore it or you thank thempolitely and take whatever you can
from it because of their language.
On the other hand, whensomeone says, I'm with you, I'm here
(28:15):
for you, I love you, whateveryour challenge is, and they have
been through their ownstruggles, and you can tell just
by how it feels and soundsthere's real support there.
Do you treat yourself like that?
We don't create because wewere perfect.
We create because we are loved.
We are loved by God, our creator.
(28:36):
That way.
I love you that way.
I am here to support, to lift,and to bless you.
That is my whole life'smission, to help you elevate the
substance, the sweetness andthe success of life's amazing journey
by daring more greatly,experiencing more deeply, and leaning
(28:58):
in more joyously.
That's the path to thisultimate life.
So when you truly loveyourself, let's talk about what that
looks like.
Well, one of the things is,you stop apologizing for your gifts
as I help these beautifulpeople that are in my book writing
(29:19):
classes, workshops that lastsix months.
And if you want to write abook, if you think your story's worth
telling, if you're in thebusiness of helping people, go right
here.
Dream build, Write it dot com.
Dream build, Write it dot com.
The end of September, a monthor so after you hear this, we're
going to hold another bookchallenge, last one for this year,
(29:40):
2025.
And in it, I'll help youexplore your book, your possible
book, mostly your life story,and how the work to turn it into
a book will be the mostimportant and powerful thing you
ever do.
And that becomes reallyobvious as I work with the people
that are in there and they sayover and over again, this has been
more powerful than I couldever have imagined.
(30:03):
I've discovered things Ididn't know.
And it has given me power.
Power to earn money, power tomake a difference, power to create
cash, power to createstability, power to give the messaging
I want.
Over and over, they say that.
So if you have a yearning tomake a difference in the world and
you're not doing it yet at thelevel you want, dream build, write
(30:24):
it, go there.
Sign up for the challenge.
The challenge doesn't cost anything.
I'm not selling you anything.
I'm inviting you to own thetruth of your own becoming.
Own the truth of your growth.
So we're talking about waysthat it shows when you love yourself.
(30:48):
No more apologizing for your gifts.
Just give them fully, freely,unapologetically and powerfully.
No more apologizing in tone,in energy for the gifts you have.
And some of the gifts areobvious, like if you're a musician
or an artist, maybe they're empathetic.
(31:08):
Maybe they're listening.
Maybe they're being an hsp,highly sensitive person.
Maybe you have gifts.
There's hundreds of ways todescribe that, and you have them.
Don't hide them.
Don't camouflage them.
Don't apologize for them.
Stop shrinking from your mission.
(31:29):
You and I, we came to thisworld with a mission, a purpose we
not only agreed to, but wewere excited about before we came.
I know that because that wasone of the things I learned when
I died in 2018 and had threeconversations with God at the door
between life and eternity.
I wrote a book about that,too, you know, I've written 20.
I'm working on two more right now.
(31:52):
You have the power, you have amission, you have a purpose, and
you have all the gifts youneed to get it done.
Now, nobody's going to do thework and nobody's going to come and
do it for you.
But one way, just dream build.
Write it.
Getting that story organized.
I think writing a book is themost powerful way to do it, because
(32:12):
from that you can createproducts and workshops and coaching
programs and anything else youwant that is solely grounded on the
truth of your own becoming thetruth of your own life experience.
Here's the other thing oranother way that you can see in your
life when you truly love yourself.
(32:33):
And that is you stop chasingcrumbs and start claiming miracles.
Like you and I, we have theability to create miracles.
What are miracles?
Things that were unexpected.
They're so far in theimprobability, you know, spectrum.
If you say, well, anything'spossible, but some things are highly
improbable, right?
(32:53):
Okay.
Creating miracles ismanifesting or creating in your life,
bringing into reality thingsthat you believed with all your heart
were highly improbable,meaning impossible.
You can do that.
You're a defined being.
But you can't have that powerunless you love yourself.
(33:14):
You can't.
It won't come because the useof that power is grounded in love.
Hear me the the effective useof your power, your story, your life,
your gifts, is grounded in love.
If it's grounded in greed oranger or fear or shame.
Shame.
(33:34):
If it has that coloring on it,you may be able to do something,
but it won't be much when youforgive yourself completely, you
have the courage to examinethe truth of your growth and who
you have become.
Now you begin to have infinite power.
You can boldly tell the truthand lift and bless those around you.
(33:57):
So one of the things thathappens when you truly love yourself
is you become a beacon of light.
You become a vessel of love.
You become an encourager ofothers to do the same.
You become a conduit of power.
Like the universe has infinitemoney, infinite energy.
Money is just energy,accumulated energy, right?
(34:19):
You think about it.
Sun shines, it grows a stockof corn.
Water and sun and soil grows astock of corn.
That's just all energy beingtransformed into kernels of corn.
Somebody harvests it, sellsit, and turns it into the exchange
thing we call money money.
Money's energy every time, allthe time.
And so you can have that allyou want, but you have to go harvest
(34:41):
the energy.
And the easiest and mostpowerful energy you or I can harvest
is the truth about our lives,the story of our becoming, what we
have become.
Stop chasing crumbs.
Start claiming miracles.
Now, if I'm saying all thisand it sounds impossible to you,
(35:03):
let's talk, because it's not.
I'm doing it.
I'm helping tons of peopleright now.
In my book, Challenges do it.
I help through coaching.
I help through videos.
I've written 20 books.
But it's all exploring, notjust the idea that this is possible,
but the how and the how of the how.
The direct, exact steps youtake in your situation to get from
(35:28):
where you are to where youwant to go.
Stop yearning with mindlesssort of ache and no direction in
action.
All right, so here's the.
The.
The last couple things I wantto say.
I live in this place of theultimate life I love every day, every
(35:49):
day, every day, every minute,no matter what happens.
Right now, I'm in the middleof some medical challenges that,
you know, one of them couldhave made me blind in instant blindness
and stuff like that.
I found out about it about aweek ago.
None of that disturbed me.
Not one molecule, not anything.
I'm just going to do what Ihave to do with the tools I've got
to get to that place.
(36:10):
It's love and forgiveness,commitment, dedication.
You stop being attached to outcomes.
So the way I do this, I'mreaching 300 million people.
We just crossed into athousand episodes.
This is episode 1000.
Look into my book, 1004.
And we're going to keep goingand get all these beautiful guests
(36:30):
with stories.
I met a cool guy last night.
Can't wait to have him on theshow because of what he's doing.
To add good to the world andto love, to create and to serve.
So here's some questions for you.
If you truly loved yourselfwith all the passion and compassion,
what would you change today?
(36:51):
Getting rid of someobligations, changing your attitude
about something, setting someboundaries to preserve your sanity
and your sovereignty.
Changing how you create valueand therefore create money.
Changing your internal story.
Like, what would you do right now?
Different.
If you truly loved yourself orloved yourself more.
(37:12):
Like, way more.
I want you to think anddeclare boldly what that would be.
And if it's too big of athing, take little steps, but move
in that direction.
Because you're divine, becauseyou're worth it.
You're amazing.
I love you.
I would love to meet you.
(37:33):
And if you'd like to do thatagain, Kellen Fubskellenflukigermedia.com
helenfluekegermedia.com andthere's a contact form.
The other thing is, if you'reyearning to share your story, you're
becoming your truth, your knowledge.
The things that have beenripped out of your heart and into
(37:53):
life because of your experiences.
Join the challenge.
Dream it.
Dream build.
Write it.
Dream build.
Write it dot com.
Love to see you there.
Now here's the final a couplethings I want to share with you.
You are worth loving.
I don't care what has come before.
If you know the story.
(38:13):
You know I came from a historyof depression and struggles and failed
relationships and addictionand even some suicide attempts.
You know that I have come towhere I am today.
That is the story of mybecoming that I share in books and
videos and podcasts and stuff.
The story of your becoming is mighty.
(38:36):
It is powerful.
It is needed.
I need to see it.
You are worth any effort.
You are worth loving byyourself, from yourself and from.
And when you do, when you moveinto a place where you truly love
and value yourself, everybodyfeels it.
(38:57):
It's not about arrogance orself indulgence.
Because when you loveyourself, you become centered, grounded.
And then you become availableto serve and bless and lift and create.
And it's awesome.
So you're worth it and you're worthy.
Here is your call to action.
(39:20):
Three of them.
One, go take some notes abouthow you feel about yourself.
Maybe note in there what youwant to notice and choose differently.
Share it with a friend.
Share it with me.
Join one of the challenges.
Dream.
Build.
Write it.
Get a hold of me.
Kellenfluekegermedia.com andfind the contact form if you want
(39:42):
to be a guest on one of myshows to share your experience of
becoming.
I want to talk to you.
I want to see if that makes sense.
And then I want to help shareyour message.
I meet people every day.
Just I said last night, awesome.
Be a guest.
You know, in the coming weeks.
(40:03):
You're worth every effort.
You're a powerful being andpowerful creator.
I love you.
And if you start today orcontinue on the path today, you absolutely
have a claim on and the rightto build your ultimate life.
Never hold back and you'llnever ask why.
(40:26):
Open your heart in this timearound, right here, right now, your
opportunity for massive growthis right in front of you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflukeigermedia.com if you
(40:47):
want more free tools, go here.
Your UltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.
You are the cause of themisery in your own life.
You may not like that, and youmay want to yell at me or scream
how come I'm stupid?
But it's still true.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power, and real talk, so you can
(00:23):
create the life you dream anddeserve your ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create.
You have infinite power.
Now let's explore why I haveas a background love, the light within.
And the name of this showtoday is what would be different
(00:46):
in your life if you trulyloved yourself.
If you or I are looking to getour validation and love from outside,
we're going to be waiting along time.
We're going to live a lifethat's sporadically up and down.
We're going to feel likesometimes we're okay, and then immediately
afterwards, 2 minutes, 5minutes, next day, next month, we're
(01:06):
going to feel like we're theworst things in the earth and none
of it's our fault.
So let's get back to basics,because this podcast is about learning
to live an ultimate life.
Ultimate life.
I use that word like.
We hear that all the time.
Ultimate this, ultimate that,and it doesn't even mean anything.
It's lost its meaning.
(01:27):
So when I say, live yourultimate life, that means, for me,
I use the word purpose,prosperity, and joy.
You can use other words, butdo you even have them?
If I ask, what is yourultimate life?
I ask that all the time.
People rarely can answer it,and they say things like, all the
money I want, all the freedomI want, all the time I want.
(01:51):
That's not going to be yourultimate life.
How do I know that?
Having talked with thousandsof people and explored it, Money
is great.
It allows you to, you know,enjoy what you want, solves problems.
It even allows you to be ofservice to others.
Freedom is only useful ifwe're using it to serve.
If we're using it for selfindulgence, that pleasure lasts about
(02:14):
that long.
All the time you already haveall the time there is.
So if you have a story aboutnot having time, that's yours.
Because you and I, we bothhave all the time there is.
The only reason if you feellike you don't have time is because
you have chosen to fill yourlife with things you don't want to
(02:38):
do, and so you feel like youdon't have time to do the things
you do want to do.
You did that.
You did that.
So let's talk about what wouldhappen if you truly loved yourself?
Well, the first thing youmight do is listen to how you talk
(02:59):
to yourself.
I don't know if you have apet, okay?
But people that own pets,whether they're, you know, birds
or, you know, we normallythink of cats and dogs, but whatever
people that love pets, you seetheir behavior toward the pet.
Now, we recently had theexperience of having to put one of
(03:22):
our cats down.
Old 15 had chronic kidney disease.
15 is not too old for a cat.
But that's all she lasted.
Now it was obvious to me howmuch my wife Joy, my angel.
I'm married to an angel whowalks on water.
But it was amazing to me anddelightfully gratifying and touching
and deeply spiritual to seehow much she loved the cat.
(03:46):
And it was easy to see becauseon the night before, we had to take
her in to the vet.
She held her all night as sheslept, get up in the night, go to
the bathroom, took her withher, you know, and she was able to
talk to her much of the nightand whisper and touch softly and
gently and tenderly.
(04:09):
The cat didn't move.
It was just receiving that love.
So it was obvious in thelanguage and the behavior and the
movement that there was love there.
Deep, unconditional, tenderexpression of love.
So I'm asking you to thinkabout how would your life be different
(04:29):
if you loved yourself like that?
Or more, if you were kind, ifyou were tender, if you spoke well
and encouragingly to yourself,if you lifted and blessed yourself,
if you forgave yourselfimmediately and completely for everything
that didn't go right.
(04:49):
So, for example, as this cat'sgotten older, she's had trouble getting
to the litter box.
Ckd chronic kidney disease,which makes it difficult.
And so she has a favorite spotor two on different places in the
house where she pees.
Yeah, we've had to clean up alot of that over the last couple
of years as she's gotten older.
(05:11):
No problem.
Not angrily, not negatively.
Just that's what you do whenyou love.
Do you do that with you or doyou get after yourself?
Do you beat the crap out ofyourself when you say something wrong
or do something wrong or getscared or do whatever it is?
Like, here's the question.
If I ask you, do you love you?
(05:31):
I ask most people that, wouldyou love yourself?
Here's what usually happens.
Well, yeah, yeah, I love myself.
So there's a hesitation.
There's some conditioningaround it.
And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ilove myself.
And then here's the real question.
If I Watched you.
If I were a fly on the walland heard every thought in your head
and everything you spoke andeverything you did, how you treated
(05:54):
yourself, would I believe you?
Would it be obvious that youloved yourself?
So when we're talking aboutthe ultimate life, we say it's money,
time and freedom, or whatever.
You say money is fun time.
You already have all there is.
Freedom.
You have all there is.
(06:15):
Anything that's on yourcalendar or in your life, work you
do, people you care for, thoseare your choices.
So if you want to enjoy yourlife fully every day, all day long,
then stop having obligations.
Either either renegotiate themor change your attitude.
Choose to love them.
(06:37):
With the cat, we could havechosen to be frustrated and inconvenienced
with several trips to the vetand the hospital and emergency, this,
that and the other, or justtake it as part of the expression
of love.
Do you do that for you?
So right now, I want to startwith something.
I want to give you anabsolute, unconditional, complete
pardon.
Forgive yourself foreverything that didn't happen.
(06:58):
Right.
Forgive yourself for everyjudgment where you judged yourself
to be inadequate.
Not good enough.
Shameful, fearful, Wrong.
Now, if there's somethingabout your behaviors or talking language
or something you want tochange, go ahead and do that.
But do it from a place of loveand forgiveness, not from a place
of anger and shame.
(07:20):
Love yourself.
Now, I want to talk abouttoday, about what would be different
for you if you truly loved yourself.
So I'm going to share with yousome things that have changed for
me.
As I go in and live from thatplace, my days are way more peaceful.
I used to have days full ofturmoil and frustration because I
(07:42):
was always behind the eight ball.
I had a list of things I wassupposed to do, and if I didn't get
them all done on time, fastenough, good enough.
Frustration.
And I called that the eightball feeling.
Because I felt like I wasbehind the eight ball all the time.
Not enough, not quick enough,too late to this, to that.
Didn't work.
Should have been better.
You know the drill.
You've done that.
When I completely forgavemyself and trusted that I was doing
(08:06):
what I loved and needed to do,life became beautiful.
Not just once in a while, butevery moment.
So I can honestly look youright in the eyes with the love in
my heart and tell you I livethat ultimate life, a life of purpose,
prosperity and joy, every day,all day long, no exceptions.
(08:27):
I didn't fall up that mountain.
So my invitation is toconsider for you to consider what
would your life be like if youfully and completely loved yourself,
as evidenced by how you talkto you, how you think about you,
how you judge yourself ordon't, and your walk and conversation
with others.
(08:47):
Now there's a lie that we tell.
We say, of course I love myself.
Love is not a feeling.
It's a verb.
It's an action.
You know, there's a consequentfeeling that comes from it, but not
the other way around.
I don't do things for peoplebecause I have the feeling of love.
I do things and that createsthe feeling of love.
(09:08):
We love whom we serve.
Now when we get to the otherwith a partner, yes, there's a romantic
and you know, pheromones andhormones and all that stuff where
we have a physical attraction,but that's such a micro.in the true
constellation of love, a tinylittle star.
(09:28):
Now, the myth of loving yourself.
Here's how you tell Are youengaged in constant self criticism?
I don't know.
If you do, you're not loving yourself.
What would you, what would itbe like if you were engaged in constant
encouragement, constant selfforgiveness, constant view of possibilities,
constant kindness and caring?
(09:49):
What would your life be likeif you took care of yourself spiritually,
physically, emotionally,mentally and dispense with the nonsense
that says I don't have time todo that.
Yes, you do.
And not only do you have time,it's essential because.
Because when you're halfbaked, or I am, we can't serve others.
(10:12):
We, we're not there, we'rehalf there.
You know what it's like todrag yourself somewhere and half
do it because you're justsupposed to be there.
That's not fun for you andit's not good service for whatever
you're doing.
Far better to prepareyourself, get in the right mindset
and state and then go thereand be all in.
It's way more effective anyway.
(10:33):
When I talk about my dailycreation process, it is a self love
process.
I take a couple of hours,sometimes a little longer every morning
to create myself.
That means to love myself, toconnect with the divine, to hear
the voice of God, to getdirection, to forgive myself freely
and fully, to start everymorning pure and committed, to send
(10:58):
love notes to others, to readsacred and holy literature, to remind
me who I am as a child of God.
Like this, this process, Iwould never skip it.
And the reason is because itreminds me who I am and it makes
me way more powerful andeffective during the day, every day,
all the time, without fail.
And so why would you skipsomething that is like gives you
(11:20):
a million dollars every morning.
If you could go get a milliondollars every morning, would you
skip?
Course not.
Well, this is better than that.
So the first question I havefor you is, is the pattern of your
behavior, your language, yourattitude, your internal dialogue,
all that stuff, does that looklike a person who's deeply in love
(11:42):
with themselves, who honorstheir divinity?
Do you honor your divinity?
I do.
I honor you.
I love you.
You're a divine being.
You came from the same place I did.
I just got off a call a littlewhile ago with three powerful, powerful
women who are in a group thatI'm leading to write a book.
They're each writing books andstories and creating some programs
(12:04):
from their life.
They've had life experience.
It's amazing.
And to hear them describe thevision of what they have, what their
book's going to do andprograms and what they're up to right
now was melting tears and justthe power of their vision.
And at the same time, everyone of them, me, you, all of us can
(12:26):
fall immediate victim to thislanguage and self doubt and I'm not
good enough and who wouldlisten and all the rest, that's not
love.
That is judgment and fear ofwhat others are going to think.
Okay.
If someone treated your childthe way you treat yourself, would
you let them?
It's an interesting question.
(12:47):
Another way you, you show youdon't love yourself is if you swallow
truth so you'll be acceptedinstead of speaking up, instead of
speaking your truth.
Another way that manifests isoverworking without resting your
soul, thinking that somehowyou're obligated.
I have a system that I use andif you want help with any of this,
(13:09):
get a hold of me.
See this?
Sorry.
Kellenflukermedia.com you seethis right here?
Go to that website.
There's a contact form.
Love to hear from you.
My whole business is helpingyou create your ultimate life, however
you define it, purpose,prosperity, joy.
And prosperity includes allthe cash you need to live the way
(13:33):
you want to live and toaccomplish the service you want to
accomplish.
That's all I do.
My goal now in the last twoand a half months of my year, which
ends October 14th, is tofinish my outrage to 300 million
people.
To teach your worth, youridentity, your possibility, ownership
of your life and sovereignty.
(13:55):
Those are the foundational concepts.
If you live like your lifebelongs to someone else, it's hard
to have fun.
It's hard to be committed and dedicated.
So I want you to think about.
I want you to just look at yourself.
Where are you lying toyourself about loving yourself?
Where are you violating yourboundaries, your inner truth?
(14:17):
Things you know you shouldn'tbe allowing in your life?
Here's an exercise I do with clients.
This is a very practical exercise.
Empty your calendar.
Empty it so there's nothing on it.
And then start putting back inthe things or putting in the things
you are committed to, you wantto do, not.
(14:39):
You're obligated.
No obligations.
Excuse me.
No obligations, only commitments.
Here's what happened for me.
I had the feeling and livedwith it.
And it was very distressingand destructive.
I have all these obligations.
Oh, I got to do this.
And I got it.
Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta,gotta, have to, have to, have to,
right?
(15:00):
Anytime you feel anobligation, it's.
It carries with it the seedsof resentment.
I don't.
I'd really rather be doingsomething else.
Right?
I'd rather be doing something else.
But I gotta do this.
I have no choice.
I have to.
That kind of language orfeeling, it's not true and it's destructive.
So here's the question.
If you emptied your calendarand only put back the things you
(15:21):
want to do, you're committedto do, and I'm drawing a big, huge
Grand Canyon wide distinctionbetween obligation and commitment.
A commitment is a holy, sacredpromise you make on purpose that
you want to have, that you canturn one into the other.
And we do that.
(15:41):
You know how you can see thatPeople make a commitment to spend
their lives together.
They get hook up as partnersor get married.
And then in a year or two orten, they fall out of love, they
grow apart, make all kinds of excuses.
And then that commitment,which was once joyful and powerful,
has become a drag, anobligation, an albatross, a pain
(16:01):
in the ass, what happened?
Well, you chose to morph the commitment.
Well, they change.
They suck.
Okay?
The truth is you changed itfrom a commitment to an obligation.
And the minute you do that,mentally so in your soul, spiritually,
(16:24):
it becomes a drag on you.
So look at all the things thatyou have.
Even with work, people say,well, I got to go to work.
Why?
I gotta pay rent, gotta eat,gotta pay for all these things.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
Yeah, there'd be consequencesfor not doing it.
But what would happen if yousay, I'm committed to this work,
(16:46):
I'm grateful I have it,whatever it is.
Why?
Because it allows me to liveand have a place and to eat and to
enjoy life.
It allows that.
So I'm committed I'm going todo a great job.
And if I don't like, if Idon't find it fulfilling and I want
to look for another one or addsomething else, okay.
But you can do it from a placeof love and power.
(17:06):
And if you don't know thatyou're missing out on the joy of
life.
Because when you do the greatwork with what you are doing, what
you've already chosen to do,and at the same time you create something
new, a side hustle, adifferent job, a start, a business,
whatever it is, you can doboth from a place of love and power
and then both are nourishingto the soul and fun instead of one
(17:30):
being a pain in the ass.
And then I get to like workingfor the weekend.
I do this job I hate, then Igo party on the weekend or get to
relax or binge Netflix or playwith kids or whatever.
Both can be joyful and fulfilling.
It is your choice.
It is your choice and no onecan choose it for you and no one
can make it either way.
(17:51):
So empty your calendar.
Only put your commitments back.
The things you're committedto, you feel good about now.
If that leaves a bunch ofholes or it leaves you broke and
without a place, then askyourself, am I committed to having
a roof?
I am.
I love it.
So right now, the method Ihave for having a roof is this work.
(18:15):
Then love it and lean in.
You might think this is atrivial stupid mind game.
It's not.
It's a world changingdistinction and turns you from a
victim into an owner.
It turns you from a wimp onthe sidelines to a powerhouse in
the middle of the game.
And if you don't know how todo that and you want my help, get
a hold of me.
(18:36):
Kellenfluker media.com Whoops.
Kellenfluker media.Com There'sa contact form.
Let's talk.
Because my whole life isdedicated to helping you get the
joy that you deserve and liveon fire and excited.
And there's no reason youcan't have it unless you're unwilling
to go get it.
That million dollars a day issitting right there waiting.
(18:59):
But you have to go get it.
We've indoctrinated ourselveswith the idea that everything's gotta
be easy.
But if I have to work, it sucks.
It's not true.
Growth only happens through work.
So that's the whole point oflying about loving yourself.
The next thing I want to talkabout is a little more about what
self love actually looks like.
(19:21):
Okay, Watching yourself Wetalked about that.
Your self talk and how youtreat yourself and everything else
for the whole week.
Just start with a day even.
And then just notice.
No.
No chastisement, no criticism,no anger, no frustration.
Just watch.
Notice.
(19:42):
Now that's the first part of abillion dollar tool I'm going to
give you right now.
It's worth a billion dollars.
It's called notice and choose.
Right now you're just doingthe notice part.
So go through a day or two.
Notice exactly how you talk toyourself internally and externally,
how you feel, how you treat yourself.
Just notice.
Make some notes, okay?
This is my current habit, thecurrent way I treat myself.
(20:06):
If you're not satisfied withit, if it doesn't make you feel beloved
and empowered and strong, thennow's the second part.
Choose.
If I really loved myself, likein the.
In the fiercest and mostsupportive and beautiful way possible,
what else would I say?
What would I say instead?
(20:29):
What would I.
What would I do instead?
And answer that question honestly.
And then choose that noticeand choose.
Notice and choose.
Notice and choose.
That framework will fix yourbody, your bank account, your mind,
(20:51):
your heart, your relationshipsand everything else because you shape
your reality as you exercise.
Notice and choose.
I want you to be aware, besensitive, to be present to whatever
words you want to use.
How your words, your attitude,your thinking, your internal and
external dialogue, how thatactually shapes your reality.
(21:17):
If you walk around, I hate this.
Oh, that sucks.
How come then you have shapeda reality of an unpleasant day.
The world and the universe isstacked against me and this and that
sucks.
And all the accompanying, youknow, negative neurotransmitters.
If, on the other hand, yousay, I'm grateful for this, grateful
to be breathing, I'm gratefulthis is happening.
(21:38):
I encourage myself.
I know I'm doing my best, I amin fact allowed to rest.
I'm allowed to recharge.
One phrase I say is, I haveeverything to give and nothing to
prove.
(22:00):
I want you to think about that.
I have everything to give andnothing to prove.
And here's why.
That doesn't mean I haveinfinity money.
But money isn't.
It's not even the mostvaluable thing.
We have your time, yourattention, and your love.
Those are the three thingsthat you have.
You have time.
All there is.
You have your attention andyou have 100% control over that.
(22:24):
And your love or yourintensity, your intention.
Attention and intention.
That's all you own.
Now, what you'll notice iswherever you put your time, attention
and love.
I think of it as a beam ofpower that comes out of our faces,
right?
That will grow.
So if I put it on negativestuff, it grows.
(22:45):
If I put it on scarcity, it expands.
If I put it on nurturing, that grows.
If I put it on creating moremoney, it grows.
And if you don't know how todo that, let's talk.
Because money is easy to create.
Money is easy to create.
So if you're with the story ofI don't have enough of that.
(23:06):
Okay, let's create some.
I don't have enough love.
Okay, let's create some.
I don't have enough good connections.
Okay, let's create some.
Your time, attention and lovebeam, that's your power beam.
So if you truly loved yourselfdeeply and fiercely and furiously
and gently and in a holy way,you would know it and you'd immediately
(23:30):
be able to recognize those things.
And if you monitor your selftreatment, how you talk and treat
yourself, anytime you noticethe good stuff, honor it.
There you go.
Notice again how it makes you feel.
Notice and choose is not justfor fixing things, but for reinforcing
things.
So every time you do thatreally well, notice and choose.
(23:54):
I'm going to do that again.
That felt really good.
Supportive, empowering,lifting, blessing.
It made me want to do that again.
Notice and choose.
And if you have situationsover here where you didn't choose
that, notice and then choose.
Did I like the outcome?
(24:14):
Do I feel good?
Did it build?
Did it lift?
Did it add good to the world?
Or did I add contention andhate and anger or apathy or negativity?
You get to choose.
So do I.
What we add to the world.
So I want you to get an idearight now.
If you loved yourself, howwould you talk to you?
I gave you some examples.
You know you're doing yourbest or giving yourself permission
(24:37):
to rest or recharge, forgivingyourself if you failed.
I have one woman in one of mybook groups right now that's writing
a.
A masterpiece on disappointment.
A masterpiece ondisappointment and how it has shaped
her life.
And then she does.
She's a PhD and she knows alot about neurochemistry and brains
(24:57):
and the names of all kinds ofdoodads in there.
I don't know, but she knowswhat it does and then can has presented
in this book, which will befabulous, will be done in a couple
of months.
She has given us tools tonotice and choose about disappointment,
to reframe it, to make it,turn it into power.
(25:20):
Instead of an indictment, itbecomes a data point for growth and
permission, for forgivenessand for Recalibration and resurgence.
Her method, four Rs is really good.
So there's another one.
But everyone who has gonethrough these struggles has discovered
things and wants to share them.
(25:41):
You know one of the best waysyou can love yourself, share your
story, your story of growth,your story of overcoming.
Now, I don't mean a pity partywhere we all sit around a bitch about
how bad the world is and howwe got screwed by this, that and
the other.
I'm not talking about that.
When you have made, whenyou're in that situation, get the
help you need.
(26:02):
You know, I had two.
We do get a coach, get a counselor.
But that won't work unless youmake a first determination to love
yourself enough to repairyourself, to love yourself enough
to forgive yourself.
And forgiving others goeswithout saying.
They're on their own journey.
You don't have to condone whatthey did or agree or put yourself
(26:24):
in danger or any of that.
But forgiveness is a personalliberation moment.
So forgive freely and fully,everyone, everything, all the time
period.
Just do that.
Don't carry the weight ofanger, retribution, vengeance, negativity,
hurt, invalidation.
(26:45):
You don't have to carry thatbecause whatever they did or said
doesn't actually mean that itis their own story.
So let's talk about findingmore power through self love, shall
we?
You and I, we don't createbecause we're perfect.
(27:05):
Like you've gone through yourown sets of struggles.
I know.
Or you wouldn't be here.
You wouldn't be striving toget to the ultimate life.
And we're not talking aboutthe easy button.
We know that doesn't exist.
You create.
You and I, we create becausewe are loved.
We are loved by our Creator.
You were given divine giftsand talents.
You are also given massivechallenges and struggles and problems
(27:28):
to develop those challenges,to develop the empathy and the peace,
the power to be of service to others.
You know how it is when you,you've gone through something and
somebody in sort of alightweight way says, oh, I'm really
sorry for you.
And you know, because of theenergy that they may think they mean
it, but they have, they don'thave the understanding to issue you
(27:51):
true support and empathy.
And maybe they don't even meanit, they're just being polite.
So you know when that happens,your meter goes off and you either
ignore it or you thank thempolitely and take whatever you can
from it because of their language.
On the other hand, whensomeone says, I'm with you, I'm here
(28:15):
for you, I love you, whateveryour challenge is, and they have
been through their ownstruggles, and you can tell just
by how it feels and soundsthere's real support there.
Do you treat yourself like that?
We don't create because wewere perfect.
We create because we are loved.
We are loved by God, our creator.
(28:36):
That way.
I love you that way.
I am here to support, to lift,and to bless you.
That is my whole life'smission, to help you elevate the
substance, the sweetness andthe success of life's amazing journey
by daring more greatly,experiencing more deeply, and leaning
(28:58):
in more joyously.
That's the path to thisultimate life.
So when you truly loveyourself, let's talk about what that
looks like.
Well, one of the things is,you stop apologizing for your gifts
as I help these beautifulpeople that are in my book writing
(29:19):
classes, workshops that lastsix months.
And if you want to write abook, if you think your story's worth
telling, if you're in thebusiness of helping people, go right
here.
Dream build, Write it dot com.
Dream build, Write it dot com.
The end of September, a monthor so after you hear this, we're
going to hold another bookchallenge, last one for this year,
(29:40):
2025.
And in it, I'll help youexplore your book, your possible
book, mostly your life story,and how the work to turn it into
a book will be the mostimportant and powerful thing you
ever do.
And that becomes reallyobvious as I work with the people
that are in there and they sayover and over again, this has been
more powerful than I couldever have imagined.
(30:03):
I've discovered things Ididn't know.
And it has given me power.
Power to earn money, power tomake a difference, power to create
cash, power to createstability, power to give the messaging
I want.
Over and over, they say that.
So if you have a yearning tomake a difference in the world and
you're not doing it yet at thelevel you want, dream build, write
(30:24):
it, go there.
Sign up for the challenge.
The challenge doesn't cost anything.
I'm not selling you anything.
I'm inviting you to own thetruth of your own becoming.
Own the truth of your growth.
So we're talking about waysthat it shows when you love yourself.
(30:48):
No more apologizing for your gifts.
Just give them fully, freely,unapologetically and powerfully.
No more apologizing in tone,in energy for the gifts you have.
And some of the gifts areobvious, like if you're a musician
or an artist, maybe they're empathetic.
(31:08):
Maybe they're listening.
Maybe they're being an hsp,highly sensitive person.
Maybe you have gifts.
There's hundreds of ways todescribe that, and you have them.
Don't hide them.
Don't camouflage them.
Don't apologize for them.
Stop shrinking from your mission.
(31:29):
You and I, we came to thisworld with a mission, a purpose we
not only agreed to, but wewere excited about before we came.
I know that because that wasone of the things I learned when
I died in 2018 and had threeconversations with God at the door
between life and eternity.
I wrote a book about that,too, you know, I've written 20.
I'm working on two more right now.
(31:52):
You have the power, you have amission, you have a purpose, and
you have all the gifts youneed to get it done.
Now, nobody's going to do thework and nobody's going to come and
do it for you.
But one way, just dream build.
Write it.
Getting that story organized.
I think writing a book is themost powerful way to do it, because
(32:12):
from that you can createproducts and workshops and coaching
programs and anything else youwant that is solely grounded on the
truth of your own becoming thetruth of your own life experience.
Here's the other thing oranother way that you can see in your
life when you truly love yourself.
(32:33):
And that is you stop chasingcrumbs and start claiming miracles.
Like you and I, we have theability to create miracles.
What are miracles?
Things that were unexpected.
They're so far in theimprobability, you know, spectrum.
If you say, well, anything'spossible, but some things are highly
improbable, right?
(32:53):
Okay.
Creating miracles ismanifesting or creating in your life,
bringing into reality thingsthat you believed with all your heart
were highly improbable,meaning impossible.
You can do that.
You're a defined being.
But you can't have that powerunless you love yourself.
(33:14):
You can't.
It won't come because the useof that power is grounded in love.
Hear me the the effective useof your power, your story, your life,
your gifts, is grounded in love.
If it's grounded in greed oranger or fear or shame.
Shame.
(33:34):
If it has that coloring on it,you may be able to do something,
but it won't be much when youforgive yourself completely, you
have the courage to examinethe truth of your growth and who
you have become.
Now you begin to have infinite power.
You can boldly tell the truthand lift and bless those around you.
(33:57):
So one of the things thathappens when you truly love yourself
is you become a beacon of light.
You become a vessel of love.
You become an encourager ofothers to do the same.
You become a conduit of power.
Like the universe has infinitemoney, infinite energy.
Money is just energy,accumulated energy, right?
(34:19):
You think about it.
Sun shines, it grows a stockof corn.
Water and sun and soil grows astock of corn.
That's just all energy beingtransformed into kernels of corn.
Somebody harvests it, sellsit, and turns it into the exchange
thing we call money money.
Money's energy every time, allthe time.
And so you can have that allyou want, but you have to go harvest
(34:41):
the energy.
And the easiest and mostpowerful energy you or I can harvest
is the truth about our lives,the story of our becoming, what we
have become.
Stop chasing crumbs.
Start claiming miracles.
Now, if I'm saying all thisand it sounds impossible to you,
(35:03):
let's talk, because it's not.
I'm doing it.
I'm helping tons of peopleright now.
In my book, Challenges do it.
I help through coaching.
I help through videos.
I've written 20 books.
But it's all exploring, notjust the idea that this is possible,
but the how and the how of the how.
The direct, exact steps youtake in your situation to get from
(35:28):
where you are to where youwant to go.
Stop yearning with mindlesssort of ache and no direction in
action.
All right, so here's the.
The.
The last couple things I wantto say.
I live in this place of theultimate life I love every day, every
(35:49):
day, every day, every minute,no matter what happens.
Right now, I'm in the middleof some medical challenges that,
you know, one of them couldhave made me blind in instant blindness
and stuff like that.
I found out about it about aweek ago.
None of that disturbed me.
Not one molecule, not anything.
I'm just going to do what Ihave to do with the tools I've got
to get to that place.
(36:10):
It's love and forgiveness,commitment, dedication.
You stop being attached to outcomes.
So the way I do this, I'mreaching 300 million people.
We just crossed into athousand episodes.
This is episode 1000.
Look into my book, 1004.
And we're going to keep goingand get all these beautiful guests
(36:30):
with stories.
I met a cool guy last night.
Can't wait to have him on theshow because of what he's doing.
To add good to the world andto love, to create and to serve.
So here's some questions for you.
If you truly loved yourselfwith all the passion and compassion,
what would you change today?
(36:51):
Getting rid of someobligations, changing your attitude
about something, setting someboundaries to preserve your sanity
and your sovereignty.
Changing how you create valueand therefore create money.
Changing your internal story.
Like, what would you do right now?
Different.
If you truly loved yourself orloved yourself more.
(37:12):
Like, way more.
I want you to think anddeclare boldly what that would be.
And if it's too big of athing, take little steps, but move
in that direction.
Because you're divine, becauseyou're worth it.
You're amazing.
I love you.
I would love to meet you.
(37:33):
And if you'd like to do thatagain, Kellen Fubskellenflukigermedia.com
helenfluekegermedia.com andthere's a contact form.
The other thing is, if you'reyearning to share your story, you're
becoming your truth, your knowledge.
The things that have beenripped out of your heart and into
(37:53):
life because of your experiences.
Join the challenge.
Dream it.
Dream build.
Write it.
Dream build.
Write it dot com.
Love to see you there.
Now here's the final a couplethings I want to share with you.
You are worth loving.
I don't care what has come before.
If you know the story.
(38:13):
You know I came from a historyof depression and struggles and failed
relationships and addictionand even some suicide attempts.
You know that I have come towhere I am today.
That is the story of mybecoming that I share in books and
videos and podcasts and stuff.
The story of your becoming is mighty.
(38:36):
It is powerful.
It is needed.
I need to see it.
You are worth any effort.
You are worth loving byyourself, from yourself and from.
And when you do, when you moveinto a place where you truly love
and value yourself, everybodyfeels it.
(38:57):
It's not about arrogance orself indulgence.
Because when you loveyourself, you become centered, grounded.
And then you become availableto serve and bless and lift and create.
And it's awesome.
So you're worth it and you're worthy.
Here is your call to action.
(39:20):
Three of them.
One, go take some notes abouthow you feel about yourself.
Maybe note in there what youwant to notice and choose differently.
Share it with a friend.
Share it with me.
Join one of the challenges.
Dream.
Build.
Write it.
Get a hold of me.
Kellenfluekegermedia.com andfind the contact form if you want
(39:42):
to be a guest on one of myshows to share your experience of
becoming.
I want to talk to you.
I want to see if that makes sense.
And then I want to help shareyour message.
I meet people every day.
Just I said last night, awesome.
Be a guest.
You know, in the coming weeks.
(40:03):
You're worth every effort.
You're a powerful being andpowerful creator.
I love you.
And if you start today orcontinue on the path today, you absolutely
have a claim on and the rightto build your ultimate life.
Never hold back and you'llnever ask why.
(40:26):
Open your heart in this timearound, right here, right now, your
opportunity for massive growthis right in front of you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflukeigermedia.com if you
(40:47):
want more free tools, go here.
Your UltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.
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