The Hidden Code That’s Been Controlling You | Markus Neukom on Breaking Free and Rewriting Your Life
August 12, 2025 • 49 mins
Most people live their entire lives without realizing they’re running on someone else’s code.
Beliefs you didn’t choose. Rules you didn’t write. Outcomes you never wanted.
In this raw, no-BS conversation, Markus Neukom — creator of the Core Communication method — sits down with Kellan Fluckiger to expose how deep conditioning, emotional triggers, and hidden programming have been quietly running the show.
You’ll discover:
- Why you keep repeating the same mistakes.
- The 3 “control codes” buried in almost every human interaction.
- How to finally communicate without the fear, ego, and reactivity that destroy relationships.
- Why freedom doesn’t start with motivation — it starts with awareness.
💥 If you’ve ever felt trapped in cycles you didn’t choose, this episode will hit like a lightning bolt.
Want to turn your breakthrough into a book, a movement, and a legacy? Join the Dream Build Write It challenge — 5 days to bring your story to life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This might surprise you.
When I was born, I actuallywas born like that.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livingthe dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power, and real talk, so you can
create the life you dream anddeserve your ultimate life.
(00:28):
Subscribe, share, create.
You have infinite power.
Hey there.
Welcome to this episode ofyour ultimate life, the podcast created
to help you live a life ofpurpose, prosperity, and joy by serving
with your gifts, your talents,your life experience, your skills.
Grateful today to have aspecial guest with us, Marcus Newcomb.
(00:50):
Marcus, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for havingme, Ken.
It's great pleasure.
You are absolutely welcome.
Grateful to know you andgrateful for who you're being.
So we had a brief chance theother day to chat, and so I learned
a little bit about you, butnowhere near as much as I'd like
to know.
And you said something rightbefore we started that said, I'm
(01:12):
ready to serve.
So why did you say that?
Because it's literally whatI'm here for.
You know, there's always thistalk about servant heart.
You've heard that, right?
Yeah.
And I just realized that ifsomeone has a servant heart, you
rarely hear me talk about it,by the way, because I feel if someone
(01:32):
talks about too much of havinga servant heart, it makes me a little
bit weary.
But for me, it's literally thefoundation of my being.
I realize when I surf, guess what?
Money is never shortage.
Friends are never shortage.
Connections are never shortage.
Opportunities are never shortage.
So it's always almost likepeople are taking.
(01:53):
How do you call it in the USTaking the.
The carriage in front of the horse.
Cart in front of the horse, right?
Yes.
And if you actually literallyhave the horse in front of the.
Of the carriage, what actuallyhappens is it is service first or
serving first, which is notbeing a servant, by the way.
(02:13):
It's literally being in service.
And that is the ultimateformula for me, for the rest.
So I believe you, and I agreewith you 100%.
100%.
And I see it, the truth ofthat thought in my own life and business
and everything.
(02:33):
So why is that important to you?
Like, you weren't born knowing that?
Because we're not born knowingvery much.
So tell me a little bit aboutwhat happened.
Tell me a little bit of astory, like, take me to how you got
to a place where you sit hereand tell me that service is first
(02:54):
and money's not a problem andfriends are not a problem and all
that stuff you said, which is beautiful.
And true.
But I want you to take me on alittle bit of a trip.
How did you get to where youbelieve and live in that knowledge?
This might surprise you.
When I was born, I actuallywas born like that.
(03:15):
So when I was born, Iunderstood my life is a life of service.
So it took me nine and a halfyears until I experienced an accident
which the aftermath made meforget what I had known before.
So it's a little bit differentthan most people.
Most people come to this earthforget, and then they remember.
(03:37):
But I came and I knew.
I remembered.
I knew.
So then my decision was toprotect my soul.
And by protecting my soul, Iwent into a conscious forgetting.
So my journey from nine and ahalf, think about it.
It's very tender age from nineand a half until today.
And at 53 years old was thejourney of remembering what I once
(04:02):
knew.
So imagine my soul was bold in.
But at the same time, itfollowed me all the time.
It always reminded me, marcus,you are a servant first.
It's not being a servant, youknow, like under people, it's equal.
It's the.
The.
Basically the attitude ofservice, which it was.
(04:25):
It's a choice about how toapproach and live in a relationship.
So I get it.
Yes, it absolutely is.
And what was interesting, youknow, when I was an employee, I was
an employee until, let's say15, 15, 18 years ago, I don't remember
anymore.
And until then, I never hadany issues with funding because why
(04:48):
I always served first.
Friends came, jobs came,everything came.
Because I just believe this isactually the real system of abundance.
Be of service first and therest will follow.
So, you know, this actuallybrings us to an interesting conclusion.
(05:09):
What if the rest doesn't follow?
Is it because the service isnot ideally, you know, segmented?
You see what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It brings someone to doubt.
So if I do, if I'm in serviceand all that cool stuff doesn't happen,
(05:30):
then what?
Like.
And there's all kinds of waysto go out of that question, but I
want to hear where you go outof that question.
So go for it.
You see, what's interesting,when we came to the US in October
and I told you that I went onquite a journey, basically I went
on a hero's journey and very accelerated.
And I once asked the universe,why is it that so many, let's call
(05:55):
it nicely, less intelligentpeople than I am, less skilled people
than I am, less nicer peoplethan I am, are millionaires, multimillionaires,
and if not billionaires, whynot me.
You know what the answer was?
I don't.
But you're going to tell meand I love it.
It was very interesting.
(06:17):
You were protected because youfirst had to become who you are today
in order to take care of thefunding that will come.
So the challenge was mebecoming corruptible, me giving in
into, you know, it's as goodas it gets.
Like my spirituality doesn'thave to be elevated.
(06:39):
More like we look, you know,at the spiritual scene.
You could think, gosh, thisthing is filled of elevated and enlightened
beings.
They're mostly people who say,you know what I'm like above most
of the people.
And I can rest of my loreal eyes.
I'm rich now.
(07:00):
But the universe told meMarxus, we have prevented you from
having that funding until youare ready to actually steward it
in a way that you don't becomebig headed, that you don't become
arty, that you don't become corruptible.
Because you know, money doesoften corrupt.
You know what, some of thelisteners may know this already,
(07:24):
but you're 100% right becauseI did it the other way.
I pursued all that stuff andcreated wealth and status and jobs
and money and everything elseand at the same time struggled with
misery and addictions anddepression and exactly what you're
describing.
Until I had to start over.
Until I had to, oh, you know,I can't and then take the journey
(07:47):
that you're talking about.
So it doesn't surprise me atall that you say I was protected,
that was delayed because Ineeded to get to a place where I
could steward and manage these things.
Well, as they came.
I'd like to tell you a littlebit more of your interest to Kellen.
Sure.
(08:08):
So what happened was I thenwondered was it fair?
And I had to say yes, it was fair.
Because I am someone who isnot very competitive.
The only competition I have is myself.
And that's playful.
When I was employed, I askedmyself how much can I charge for
my company in order for peoplestill paying my services?
(08:32):
And it became up to $750 per hour.
Which was nice for the company.
And then I met a managementconsultant because I decided to go
solo to become an entrepreneur.
And he said to me, marcus,this doesn't work anymore.
You are not in charge of thecompany anymore.
Now it's you.
(08:53):
So you will need to slash yourpricing by half.
So 750 divided by two.
Right?
It's quite a reduction.
So when I became anentrepreneur, I received an email
out of the blue from Aprevious client of the X company
asking whether I would stilldo outplacement.
So I replied, yes.
So he said, look, I have adear friend who just got fired.
(09:15):
He needs someone like you.
He has a budget.
So my wife asked me, how muchare you going to charge?
And I said, oh, before?
She said, why, you are goingto charge $750.
I said, are you crazy?
The other guy told me the half.
(09:35):
She said, was it the companythat was the quality or was it you?
So I drove one hour to thatplace and I battled with myself,
I can tell you.
And in the end, I charged 750and I got paid.
So that's the side story.
No, it's actually a reallyimportant story because there's a
notion that there's some magicabout all the rest of that crap that
(09:57):
that can consultant had bought into.
And the person that knew youbefore knew what you charged, and
I don't know why they wouldhave an expectation that suddenly
you'd value yourself at halfjust because you were hanging your
own shingle.
That's nonsense.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So imagine what I did then is,okay, this was my first client.
(10:19):
And then we went to Budapestand Hungary, and we came back and
I had an invitation to amanagement summary.
And so I went there and I hadalready paid for the gala dinner.
So before the gala dinner, Igot so tired, and I thought, gosh,
(10:39):
goodness me, now I have beenin this award ceremony, and now I
have to stay like two or threemore hours and eat way too much.
So in the end I decided, let's stay.
Guess what?
Two seats were free at mytable, and one of the winners of
this award, with hissecretary, sat next to me.
So I did nothing else thanjust interview him, have fun with
(11:02):
him, ask him questions, askhim questions, made it all about
him.
So after, I think, 20 minutes,he said, sir, I have no bloody clue
who you are.
I know nothing about you.
Let's make it now about you.
Imagine being a consultanthaving that curveball.
Let's make it all about you.
(11:23):
So at the end of the night, hesaid, sir, I don't know yet how,
but you and I are going to dobusiness with each other.
No acquisition, absolutely nothing.
Right?
So he calls me up in a coupleof weeks and he says, sir, I need
your help.
We have a fire in our house.
So I went there, like, not aliteral fire, metaphoric fire.
And he asked me, how much areyou going to charge?
(11:47):
And I said, you don't want toknow that.
He said, yeah, but you canTell me your hourly price.
I said, no, no, I'm not.
I'm doing something else.
I'll ask you to go home, intoyour office and give it some thought.
How much would it cost you?
Or how much would it be worthfor you if I solved your problem?
(12:08):
And I just looked at him andhe said, okay, challenge accepted.
So we met again for dinnerafter lunch.
And he said, okay, so what isyour hourly rate?
Oh no, I'm just kidding.
I have done my homework, he said.
So he presented me a budget of$20,000, which was unheard of as
(12:29):
the first business or a company.
No references, absolutely noproof of concept of mine.
All he had was based on that20 minute conversation, I made it
all about himself.
That's apparently where he sawmy quality.
Think about it.
So it's much more thestillness that spoke then already
(12:50):
than actually what I said.
So what happened later wasthen I met another management consultant.
And guess what he said?
He said, markus, I'm sorry toburst your bubble.
This is not going to go onlike this.
You have to do acquisition.
You have to learn marketing,you have to learn advertising, you
(13:14):
have to learn how to persuade people.
Guess what?
I bought into it.
You know what happened?
My business declined.
And that's when the universesaid, that's when we took you into
the university of life.
That's when we told you thatit's not about people who actually
(13:35):
sustain you.
It is us, the universe.
And one day I even ask, how isit now?
I have literally severed tiesto almost all my connections, so
I have no one anymore who canbring me business.
And then the universe saidsomething very straightforward.
(13:55):
Do you really believe that onesingle cent has ever come from people,
from organizations, from clients?
And that was my wake up call, Kim.
That's when I understood moneynever came from someone.
It always came throughsomeone, always through someone.
(14:21):
And that was when I was, yeah,getting clear.
So I said, okay, dependenciesare all gone now it's all trusting
again.
What I always trusted in thatthe universe does provide.
And it does.
That's wonderful, you know,and it's true.
It's wonderful and it's true.
(14:42):
I want to talk more about thatand I want to ask you a little bit
more about your business.
But before I do, I want to goback to nine and a half.
So before you had thisaccident, you said you were born
knowing that you were to be ofservice, that your mission here was
to serve.
What did that look like for an8 year old or a 9 year old before
you?
(15:03):
What did that feel like, howdid that show up?
Like, how does an 8 year oldthat knows I'm here to serve, what
does that look like?
It's absolutely natural.
It's a natural love for people.
It's a natural love forwanting everyone else to do good
because I was doing great.
So I had the desire for peopleto get to that point as well, that
(15:27):
they remember that they aremore than just what they believe
they are.
And basically you can say Iwas a ray of sunshine.
And I believe that ray of sunshine.
You know, even when I wentinto my apprentice and everything,
they always said, markus, youare like a ray of sunshine.
And I believe that probablysums it up the most.
(15:48):
So I brought light where therewas darkness.
I brought hope where there was despair.
I think that sums it up really well.
I was just a normal kid.
Well, it's interesting becausemy next question is going to be,
okay, what happened when youwere nine?
(16:09):
Because that marked a turningpoint or a change not in who you
were supposed to be orultimately would become, but in an
interruption, I guess, in that flow.
So what happened?
What was the accident thathappened when you were young?
It's interesting.
The accident itself wasn't a catalyst.
Three kids, and remember I wasnine and a half, I was the oldest.
(16:32):
Three kids almost died and Iwas accused of it.
Oh, wow.
So what happened was I was amember of a church, of an evangelical
church.
And the elders came to me andthey said, marcus, we always warned
you, your freedom will one daynot only endanger you, but other
(16:57):
people.
Guess what I've done.
I listened and I said, okay,now I definitely realize I am a danger
for the society.
So I went to the church andsaid, okay, I hand over my freedom
because apparently I am notonly a threat for myself, but I'm
a threat for other people.
(17:19):
So that's when I decided to gohome, speak to my soul and say to
my soul, you are in danger.
I have just handed overfreedom, so I cannot protect you
anymore.
And if you roam free, they aregoing to harm you.
So we decided to ball it inand that one day when I'm grown up,
(17:42):
when I'm old enough, I willcome back and take it out.
So what I did not know is thatmy soul always walked with me.
It kind of stayed walled in,but you know, the soul, it doesn't
get stuck by a wall.
So it basically always roamedwith me.
(18:03):
So that is, yeah, pretty muchthe summary.
Somebody.
That's crazy.
But it's a really illustrationof how powerful the mentor figures
Whether they're parents,church, community, school have to
us because they tell animpressionable nine year old kid,
you're dangerous.
And so you go home and say I'mdangerous, I better hide it, stuff
(18:26):
it in, sew it shut, whatever,zip it up and put it away.
That's pretty much what it wasin my life.
Life changed like in an instant.
Wow.
Picture this.
An absolute blossoming childray of sunshine.
The next day I would not evendare to walk into a restaurant where
(18:48):
someone was bathing with meunless that person came and went
into the restaurant first.
Because I was totally of theimpression that I do not deserve
that air in there, that itbelongs to other people.
So it's from an absolute highas the nine and a half year old to
absolutely loss of identitywith an instant.
(19:13):
So when did you start to.
Was it just a gradual processthat began immediately or was there
another initiating event thatsaid wait a minute, this isn't right,
I'm not supposed to be livingin a place where I'm convinced that
I'm not worthy and I don'tdeserve to breathe the air.
Where did that begin to change?
I would say the one time thatit really changed was when I decided
(19:37):
Kalin to be the first of thischurch to go and seek help of a psychotherapist.
That was the first time?
Yeah.
So how old were you then?
I believe I was in my 20s,early 20s, 15 years.
13 years.
You lived in this contractedwadded up state under the influence
(19:59):
of some person who eitherintentionally or unintentionally,
I don't know, told you somestuff, you internalized it.
Finally, after 13 years orsomething, you said this is this,
this can't be right.
I need to go talk to somebody.
And you wouldn't talk to ashrink to say, hey, help me without.
Is this right?
(20:19):
And so that began.
You know what I did?
No, I'll tell you what I did.
That was crazy.
So I went to see a guy who Ithought could be really become my
mentor.
So at the end he said, okay,this is the charge which the insurance
company is going to allow meto do.
(20:41):
However, from you, I requireanother hundred dollars under the
table.
So he ended up becoming my guide.
I didn't want to play any rolein that corruption thing.
Right, right.
So I left and I went to thenumber two.
And the number two was aprobably he was in his 50s, I would
(21:04):
say, a Protestant priest whoknew what I was talking about in
terms of my church bringing.
And I went to see him with thewords like I remember it was yesterday.
I said to him, I want to learnmachismo from you.
(21:24):
Because you can't imagine my background.
Everything was absolutely outof line.
Like, I had.
What is it called?
The spine.
Right.
I had no metaphorical spine anymore.
Totally weak.
And I went to see him with thewords, I want to learn machismo.
And he looked at me and theysaid, okay, let's do it.
(21:51):
Wow, that's how it all started.
Yeah, I think it was in mymid-20s or late 20s, so it was almost
20 years in the system.
So life is always a set ofexperiences, and when things happen
to us, they either ruin us orrefine us.
And sometimes we let thingsruin us for a day, a week, a month,
(22:12):
a year, a decade, many decades.
And eventually we can allowthem or treat them as opportunities
for refinement.
So as you look back that,nearly 20 years of clouding your
light or living in a falsebelief or having been affected by
the, you know, the opinionsand teaching of this person, and
(22:35):
you look at that situationnow, is there something, anything
about it that you say that wasreally beneficial?
I learned this, that, and the other.
Let me answer you differently, okay?
One and a half years in withmy psychotherapist, he suddenly looked
(22:55):
at me when I came, and hesaid, sir, I need to ask you a question.
Many other people, probablymost went through what you went through,
would either have landed in anasylum, mental asylum, or they would
have committed suicide.
I just looked at him, and thenhe said, but if I look into your
(23:22):
eyes, you have one of the mosthealthiest set of eyes I've ever
seen.
So he knew the eyes are themirror to my soul, right?
So he knew my soul wasn't damaged.
He said, how is that possible?
And I said, look, it mightsurprise you, especially as a priest,
(23:42):
but I always knew that thisbelongs to the path of my life, that
this belongs to my becomingand to my arriving.
And he said, yeah, otherwiseit's not possible to imagine and
to explain.
So I never blamed the peoplewho caused the trauma in the end.
(24:02):
At church, so many peoplethroughout my life said, marcus,
if I had experience where youhad experienced that one day, I would
have cursed people.
I would have cursed yourparents, because your parents weren't
there to defend you.
They even actually let you inthe belief for 20 years that you
were responsible for thataccident, where there was a whole
(24:26):
different reason why itactually happened in the end.
So, no, there wasn't one daywhere I thought I actually blamed
someone.
But what it wasn't, I neverThanked the system for what it taught
me.
I thanked the universe fortaking me into school and teaching
(24:46):
me those lessons.
And, you know, as I said, I'm53 years old, killer now.
And the universe told meprobably half a year ago, he said,
look, you had to understandwhat humans are going through in
order to understand and to beable to help them.
Because unless you wentthrough what most people never went
(25:10):
through, you won't be able toreally help them.
Because my psychology said,look, if you come to me with the
business issues, I can't help you.
I have no bloody clue from business.
I'm a priest and I know psychology.
I can help you.
Psychotherapy, right?
But I can't help you when youcome with business things.
You will have to explain it tome as if you explained it to a job.
(25:34):
So guess what?
This does not happen with meif I work with somebody, because
I went through the worst.
I know what it means to loseyour identity, absolutely.
To the point where you don'teven know that you exist.
Where you feel that breathingdoes not belong to you, fresh air
(25:56):
does not belong to you in arestaurant, because, no, there's
a limited amount, right?
Too many people in it.
There's no oxygen anymore.
So I thought the oxygenbelongs to others.
But that totally disappearedover time.
And I reclaimed was actuallyat my psychotherapist.
So I sat on the ground and Isaid, look, now I show you something.
(26:17):
Now I'm showing you how I'mreclaiming my own term.
And he said, look, it wascrazy to hear you talk because you
asked questions, sat on theground before I even understood what
you asked.
You already answered.
Why is that?
And I said, look, I never camefor you for answers.
(26:39):
I paid you money, so you giveme your four balls.
I rented them basically tofinally have a place where I'm allowed
to speak my truth.
And that's what it came down to.
That was the beginning of myhealing, when I finally had a place.
(26:59):
But I had to pay for it.
I had no friends who would do that.
They were in the system.
So I had to pay a professional.
And he just listened to, solet's talk.
Let's.
And so the years have gone byand you've reclaimed that.
And I want to get to whatyou're doing now.
So today, as you are anentrepreneur, you had a job for some
(27:24):
time, you're an employee, youhad a company, you then left that.
And you told some storiesabout leaving that today.
What is your focus?
How do you add good to the world?
Like, I Know that you're.
Your mission is to help othersfind their own light.
Like you had.
And you talked about peopleremembering over time, and you were
and then weren't and are again.
(27:46):
So tell me what you do rightnow to add good to the world.
That's a phrase that I use.
That just means that's aboutyour purpose and passion.
What do you do?
I think it's important tounderstand that a little while ago,
I was quite a successfulbusiness consultant and executive
coach.
And I suddenly was taught overno executive coaching anymore, no
(28:10):
business consulting anymore.
And that's when I became alittle bit weary.
So what I was told is, markus,you are becoming a steward of stillness.
And I thought, okay, thatsounds interesting.
Steward of stillness.
You know, most people wouldthink it's like yoga.
It's like meditation where yousit still.
(28:32):
It's the opposite.
Steward of stillness basicallymeans I am providing a room which
is not like a physical room.
It's like for every meet, it'sjust stillness.
So what I'm doing is I'mproviding a room for people where
you can look at like this.
There's like a cloak over uswhere all the outside noise is silent,
(28:56):
all the stresses are outside.
And suddenly there's acoherence between your thoughts and
your heart.
And that opens the channel forthe soul.
And suddenly you begin to seethings like, wow, I never looked
at it like this.
Or somebody else says, markusnever told anyone what I'm going
(29:22):
to tell you now.
And that is when the channelis sometimes even for the first time
in their lives, Keelan, lookat that.
For the first time in theirlives, they are so calm, there's
so much in stillness that theyhear their own soul speak to them
(29:42):
for the first time in their lives.
Because, you see, why did Isay I'm not a consultant and a coach
anymore?
If you're a businessconsultant, you are here to solve
the problems of the client.
So the client tells you whatproblems he wants to solve, right?
Look at it from another point.
(30:03):
Look at it from a doctor, anMD Medical doctor.
You will go to a doctor andsay, doc, you know what?
My elbow hurts.
I want this elbow treated.
Every good doctor would lookat you and say, keelan, you know
what?
Let's have a diagnosis first.
(30:24):
And he says, you know what?
You actually have a shoulder issue.
And you would think, you knowwhat, doc, I have an elbow issue.
Right?
If you do not help me, I willfind a doctor who helps me with my
female.
Right, sorry.
That's how consulting andcoaching works.
(30:45):
Unless I'm willing to help aclient with the perceived problem.
I am not a good consultant.
And that's when the universesaid, marcus, stop that.
That's bullshit.
You have to get people intostillness first, where the actual
problems become evident.
And based on that, you cancoach and you can consult, but the
(31:10):
prescription is not.
Or the diagnosis is not doneby the client, which is absolutely
insane if you think about it.
I have many friends who are doctors.
If I tell them how consultingwork, they say, marcus is like, Charlotte,
how can you even do that?
And you know, a friend ofmine, I was in a call recently, and
(31:32):
she said, marcus, let's lookat one question.
Why is it that there are somany consultants and even more bigger
problems in corporations thanever before?
And I said, you just gave the answer.
It's the consultants.
(31:52):
It's the consultants.
So that's when I realized,going into stillness, providing the
people the room where theirown voice, their own soul starts
revealing the actual issues.
That's when real change happens.
And anything else isbasically, I've been doing it long
(32:14):
enough.
It's basically superficialmakeup brain, if you want to put
it this way.
But if you really want to gointo depth, I'll give you an example.
A company has a hugeturnaround, so what would you do?
You take care of theturnaround, right?
You help them with hiring.
But if you go in depth, yousuddenly realize, hey, there is one
(32:39):
person in silence, a silentkiller, making sure that there is
so much mobbing taking placein such a low, deep level that no
one even sees it.
And the problem is not theperson who mobs.
The problem is the person whois the owner.
The owner doesn't have a spine.
(32:59):
And that's the problem.
So when I start working withthe owner and say, you know what?
You are actually the problem.
The problem is that you haveno spine.
You have allowed this personto become a huge issue for your company.
That wouldn't happen because I helped.
I was a great consultant.
(33:20):
I helped with the hiring.
I helped with the retention.
You know, we made sure thatthe image was corrected.
No, the problem was the ownerall the time.
He had no guts to hire peoplewho he really needed.
You know why?
Because he didn't believe hedeserves to be successful beyond
(33:41):
measure.
That's what most people suffer with.
That's when I understoodstillness is the key.
You know, it's reallyinteresting, the way you've described
that.
It's a reflection of what youfelt when that happened, that accident
happened, and that stuffhappened, and then you believed you
(34:03):
didn't deserve to breathe the air.
You just told me about anowner who didn't believe he deserved
this.
That and the other.
The other thing you saidthat's really interesting is you
said, I rented the space fromthe shrink so I could hear myself
think I could have a space tofind things out.
And then you said, what Iprovide is the four walls and the
space for them to do what Idid in the space with that shrink.
(34:28):
So it's interesting theparallels there about your own.
You're absolutely right.
I love that path of growth and.
What you provide now.
And I find that.
I find that over and overagain that our path of development,
whatever it was, is the veryessence of what we have to offer
(34:51):
to help people with, becauseit's what has helped us, caused us,
allowed us to become what we are.
And so in both those cases,parallel of don't deserve.
Don't deserve the space todiscover and the space to discover.
So that's really interesting.
It's beautifully put.
And then actually addsomething else, which you find the
(35:13):
kicker.
I suddenly learned that I'mnot only the steward of stillness,
but that I'm the steward ofthe Institute of cfli.
And that made me giggle.
And I said, how the heck do Ihave a institute?
Then it dawned on me.
Wherever I am, the Instituteof Catalyst for Legacy and Influence
(35:40):
is present.
So basically, I have my mobilefour walls, which I move everywhere
I am.
Isn't that amazing?
So the four walls you justmentioned have become my mobile institute.
So when, if I travel to LA andI have a meeting there, the Institute
(36:03):
materializes energetically.
And when I leave again, I takethe Institute with me.
Catalyst for Legacy and Influence.
Is that a company name or isthat a descriptor of how you provide
those four walls and the spacefor people to hear themselves think
(36:24):
maybe for the first time?
It's pretty much who I am.
I am the catalyst for legacyand influence because this is exactly
what I'm doing.
I'm helping people to find alegacy and thus become influential.
Yeah.
So that's.
I love the way you'vedescribed it and the journey to get
there.
I mean, you know, I talk tolots of people that have a message,
(36:46):
and the message is alwaysabout helping people step into their
power, realize who they are,get out of their own way.
And we've all heard all thosedifferent ways of describing, pointing
at, I guess, a particular goal.
And the way you described alittle while ago is another way,
and I love it, which is acoherence between your thoughts.
And your heart so that yoursoul can come through that finally
(37:11):
open channel.
Why do you think it's so hard?
Like, so many people aretalking about this, working on it,
and you've got a miraculousstory in power that you do.
Why do you think it's so hardto get our thoughts and our heart
in coherence so that our soulcan speak through?
I would say it pretty muchcomes down to socialization, because
(37:34):
as I said, most people areborn having forgotten.
So the only thing they learnis what society teaches them.
So I don't think anyone is tobe blamed who walks into that trap.
And I believe my job is reallyto help people to remember that they
(37:55):
are more than they actuallywere taught to be.
So I believe it very much hasto do with the system.
And there is a system which isnot interested in people remembering,
because as you can imagine, ifsomebody starts to remember, they
become free.
And if you are free, let'slook at church.
(38:16):
You are not controllable anymore.
You know, suddenly lovebecomes the driver and not fear.
It's interesting that churches.
In the name of the divine, inthe name of the Creator who created
this soul and, you know, gaveus all this stuff.
It is in the name of thatcreator that all that fear is exercised.
(38:40):
Yeah, isn't that interesting?
And obviously that was not the design.
It's a perversion, distortionof that.
And over time, you know, wehave created a system where we suck
the life out of everybody.
Whether it's at birth or attwo or at nine and a half or whatever.
(39:01):
We suck the life out of themand, you know, wad them up into this.
You got to do this to be okay.
You're supposed to do this,supposed to do that.
And internally, everybody'sfeeling the chafing of this doesn't
seem right.
And there's so few that arewilling to go explore that.
(39:21):
And you're called to reach andempower and enable and wake up and
provide the space and, youknow, the Institute for Legacy and
Impact.
What is it?
Say it again.
Say cfli.
What is it?
Catalyst.
Catalyst for Legacy.
For Legacy and Influence.
Catalyst for Legacy and Influence.
(39:42):
I love that.
So I love the catalyst word.
And you notice on my screen Isay alchemist, and I use both not
interchangeably, becausethey're not quite the same.
But a catalyst really issomething that is not in a chemistry,
something that's not used upin the process, but something without
which this particular reactionwouldn't take place.
(40:04):
So your catalyst, the fourwalls that you take with you to create
the safety and the space andthe peace.
You know, the steward ofstillness, catalyst for legacy and
influence, and the steward of stillness.
Love both those descriptions.
So if people want to find outmore, if they want to, you know,
(40:24):
get more knowledge and connectmore with Marcus and hear more about
the steward of stillness,where do they go?
How do they do that?
So the easiest thing.
Kellen is definitely going onmy LinkedIn profile, which is just
my first name and last name.
Marcus with a K. Then M E U KO M. And just send me a connection
request.
(40:45):
Just mentioned that they sawme on your show and I'm happy to
get on the call with them.
How hard do you.
So I'm going to spell that again.
M A R K U S N E U K O M. I dothat because when you have a name
like Kellen Fluker, payattention to that sort of stuff.
But anyway, so how do you getpeople started?
(41:08):
I mean, we've lived sosocialized and buried in this noise,
in this system for so longthat it becomes the default operating
system.
And what you're doing istrying to create a pattern interrupt
where they have space and anopportunity to get in coherence and
to allow stillness to createthe conduit.
How do you start with someonewho is.
(41:29):
Knows there's something wrong?
They're feeling that internalstrife between who they.
Who they ought to be andwhat's going on.
How do you get me started on that?
If I come to you and I hearyou and I say, yeah, yeah, I want
some of that.
What do you do first?
You see what's really interesting.
I give you a life example.
I met the person and thatperson heard that voice.
(41:53):
Is this it?
Right, it's the soul speaking,because you mentioned it.
This is like, you know, yeah,that's exactly what it is.
That's the conflict betweenthe soul that knows there's a lot
more, and the system.
And the system or the ego orwhatever that we learn to live inside.
So anyway, go ahead.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So he got to the point wherehe said, markus, not one more day.
(42:18):
Not do I want to, but can Istay in the system?
And then he came to me.
We had several sessions andwe're still in the process, by the
way.
It can be quite a long process.
So he came to me and hesuddenly said, markus, I have one
question for you.
What does it going to cost me?
(42:38):
And I knew it's not money,he's asking.
And I said to him, it islosing all your illusions, believing
you know who you are.
And Finding out you are notwho the world told you to be.
He said, oh, shit.
Said, yeah, it's quite a lot.
(43:00):
So what do you have to gain?
It's total freedom.
It's finally getting to thepoint where you actually were meant
to be finally leaving ahamster wheel.
Because, you know, this issomething so shocking to me, Ken.
So many people actuallybelieve they have become hamsters.
(43:22):
Not only are they human beingsrunning in a hamster, which I believe
they are, they actually become hamsters.
So when they start workingwith me, what happens is they take
one little hamster foot andput it on the ground outside of the
wheel very carefully.
They're breathing out whenthey do that.
(43:42):
And suddenly that littlehamster foot touches the ground.
Guess what?
They become human beings immediately.
Because right now they'rehuman havings, they're human achievers,
they're human doings, and theyhave no bloody clue what it means
to be a human being.
And that's when it happens.
When the first time your foot,the little hamster foot, touches
(44:05):
the ground and you suddenlybecome a human being and you think
there is more, always knew it,there is more.
But that actually doesn't makesure that this person wants to do
it because the foot goes intothe hands of.
It could scare him to death.
(44:25):
I don't know if I can live outhere or whatever.
I know exactly the devil, youknow, versus the unknown, right?
Yes.
And I can tell you this personhas about 13 different hamster wheels
parallel to each other.
Yeah.
Has made them very cushiony,but he says, it's freaking me out.
I, as a hamster, are runningbetween the 13 projects all the time.
(44:50):
All the time.
And I said, yeah, that would stop.
You would suddenly be able toleave that hamster wheel system,
which actually condemns you tobecome a hamster and be a hamster.
Imagine how painful that mustbe to be a hamster when you actually
know your soul tells youyou're a human being, you're meant
(45:10):
for greatness.
You're not meant here to bethe person who makes millions for
somebody else who refuses tolisten to its soul and makes you
its slave.
And yes, pays you nicely.
300,000.
500,000.
There's a price.
(45:32):
Yeah, the price understood that.
But when they're buying, whatthey're buying is your soul.
So they paid you 300,000.
They bought your soul and yousold your soul for 300,000.
That's exactly it.
That's exactly it.
And I tell you, the soulstarts out, and I tell you from experience,
the soul starts out as a weelittle voice.
(45:54):
And if Marcus didn't listen,guess what happened?
It grew into a bullhorn Icould not ignore anymore.
And guess what?
I became ill. And I had onedream one night, eland which shocked
me so much, I saw my soul as alittle boy standing next to a tree
(46:20):
with a little ax and starthitting it and wanting it to fall.
And I ask, hey, stop.
What are you doing, Marcus?
You don't leave me a choice.
Either you destroy me or Ihave to destroy you.
(46:41):
And that's when I woke up.
And I said, okay, message received.
You know how many peoplesuffer from shoulder pain, neck pain,
headache, all sorts of issuepain, nerve pain?
That's exactly it.
So I went to see a doctor, andthe doctor said to me, you know what,
(47:01):
sir?
Picture this here are nerves, right?
So he went to, let's say, thismuch away from my skin here, and
I was yelling in pain.
And he said, I haven't eventouched you.
I said, yeah, it's enough.
So he went to the nerves hereand just went close to it, and I
(47:22):
stood up in pain.
And he said, sir, your nervesystem is absolutely laid bare.
Either you stop or you end upin a wheelchair.
That was the wake up call back then.
And I wish that the people wholisten to us do not have to go that
far.
But they will.
(47:42):
I can tell you.
They will.
They will.
Because your soul's nevergoing to give up.
And you can wait until you die or.
You're right.
I love the tree example.
So this has been really good.
We're just.
We're to the end of our time,and I'm really grateful that we have
another opportunity to talk onmy other.
I look forward to it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because there's so much moreof this I want to explore.
(48:04):
And that's beautiful.
So is there any final wordsyou'd like to give the audience before
we're done?
There's basically only oneanswer to everyone.
Yes, there is more.
Thank you.
Thanks for being with me today.
Thank you for having me.
Great pleasure.
You're welcome.
So I want audience.
(48:24):
Listeners, pay attention.
Yes, there is more.
That's a beautiful summary.
And it's the answer.
And so when you're feelingthat yearning, I don't care what
you've got going on right now,the yearning is there.
And it does get louder, as hesaid, if you choose to pay attention
instead of ignore it today, itdoesn't matter how many times you've
ignored it before.
You can start right now.
Get a hold of Marcus, find outhis stuff.
(48:46):
Go to LinkedIn.
Check it out.
But the truth is there is moreand you can have it.
And that will help you movetowards your ultimate life right
here, right now.
(49:06):
Your opportunity for massivegrowth is right right in front of
you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenfluekermedia.com if you
want more free tools, go hereYourUltimate Life CA subscribe Share
(49:35):
it on the ground.
This might surprise you.
When I was born, I actuallywas born like that.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livingthe dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power, and real talk, so you can
create the life you dream anddeserve your ultimate life.
(00:28):
Subscribe, share, create.
You have infinite power.
Hey there.
Welcome to this episode ofyour ultimate life, the podcast created
to help you live a life ofpurpose, prosperity, and joy by serving
with your gifts, your talents,your life experience, your skills.
Grateful today to have aspecial guest with us, Marcus Newcomb.
(00:50):
Marcus, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for havingme, Ken.
It's great pleasure.
You are absolutely welcome.
Grateful to know you andgrateful for who you're being.
So we had a brief chance theother day to chat, and so I learned
a little bit about you, butnowhere near as much as I'd like
to know.
And you said something rightbefore we started that said, I'm
(01:12):
ready to serve.
So why did you say that?
Because it's literally whatI'm here for.
You know, there's always thistalk about servant heart.
You've heard that, right?
Yeah.
And I just realized that ifsomeone has a servant heart, you
rarely hear me talk about it,by the way, because I feel if someone
(01:32):
talks about too much of havinga servant heart, it makes me a little
bit weary.
But for me, it's literally thefoundation of my being.
I realize when I surf, guess what?
Money is never shortage.
Friends are never shortage.
Connections are never shortage.
Opportunities are never shortage.
So it's always almost likepeople are taking.
(01:53):
How do you call it in the USTaking the.
The carriage in front of the horse.
Cart in front of the horse, right?
Yes.
And if you actually literallyhave the horse in front of the.
Of the carriage, what actuallyhappens is it is service first or
serving first, which is notbeing a servant, by the way.
(02:13):
It's literally being in service.
And that is the ultimateformula for me, for the rest.
So I believe you, and I agreewith you 100%.
100%.
And I see it, the truth ofthat thought in my own life and business
and everything.
(02:33):
So why is that important to you?
Like, you weren't born knowing that?
Because we're not born knowingvery much.
So tell me a little bit aboutwhat happened.
Tell me a little bit of astory, like, take me to how you got
to a place where you sit hereand tell me that service is first
(02:54):
and money's not a problem andfriends are not a problem and all
that stuff you said, which is beautiful.
And true.
But I want you to take me on alittle bit of a trip.
How did you get to where youbelieve and live in that knowledge?
This might surprise you.
When I was born, I actuallywas born like that.
(03:15):
So when I was born, Iunderstood my life is a life of service.
So it took me nine and a halfyears until I experienced an accident
which the aftermath made meforget what I had known before.
So it's a little bit differentthan most people.
Most people come to this earthforget, and then they remember.
(03:37):
But I came and I knew.
I remembered.
I knew.
So then my decision was toprotect my soul.
And by protecting my soul, Iwent into a conscious forgetting.
So my journey from nine and ahalf, think about it.
It's very tender age from nineand a half until today.
And at 53 years old was thejourney of remembering what I once
(04:02):
knew.
So imagine my soul was bold in.
But at the same time, itfollowed me all the time.
It always reminded me, marcus,you are a servant first.
It's not being a servant, youknow, like under people, it's equal.
It's the.
The.
Basically the attitude ofservice, which it was.
(04:25):
It's a choice about how toapproach and live in a relationship.
So I get it.
Yes, it absolutely is.
And what was interesting, youknow, when I was an employee, I was
an employee until, let's say15, 15, 18 years ago, I don't remember
anymore.
And until then, I never hadany issues with funding because why
(04:48):
I always served first.
Friends came, jobs came,everything came.
Because I just believe this isactually the real system of abundance.
Be of service first and therest will follow.
So, you know, this actuallybrings us to an interesting conclusion.
(05:09):
What if the rest doesn't follow?
Is it because the service isnot ideally, you know, segmented?
You see what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It brings someone to doubt.
So if I do, if I'm in serviceand all that cool stuff doesn't happen,
(05:30):
then what?
Like.
And there's all kinds of waysto go out of that question, but I
want to hear where you go outof that question.
So go for it.
You see, what's interesting,when we came to the US in October
and I told you that I went onquite a journey, basically I went
on a hero's journey and very accelerated.
And I once asked the universe,why is it that so many, let's call
(05:55):
it nicely, less intelligentpeople than I am, less skilled people
than I am, less nicer peoplethan I am, are millionaires, multimillionaires,
and if not billionaires, whynot me.
You know what the answer was?
I don't.
But you're going to tell meand I love it.
It was very interesting.
(06:17):
You were protected because youfirst had to become who you are today
in order to take care of thefunding that will come.
So the challenge was mebecoming corruptible, me giving in
into, you know, it's as goodas it gets.
Like my spirituality doesn'thave to be elevated.
(06:39):
More like we look, you know,at the spiritual scene.
You could think, gosh, thisthing is filled of elevated and enlightened
beings.
They're mostly people who say,you know what I'm like above most
of the people.
And I can rest of my loreal eyes.
I'm rich now.
(07:00):
But the universe told meMarxus, we have prevented you from
having that funding until youare ready to actually steward it
in a way that you don't becomebig headed, that you don't become
arty, that you don't become corruptible.
Because you know, money doesoften corrupt.
You know what, some of thelisteners may know this already,
(07:24):
but you're 100% right becauseI did it the other way.
I pursued all that stuff andcreated wealth and status and jobs
and money and everything elseand at the same time struggled with
misery and addictions anddepression and exactly what you're
describing.
Until I had to start over.
Until I had to, oh, you know,I can't and then take the journey
(07:47):
that you're talking about.
So it doesn't surprise me atall that you say I was protected,
that was delayed because Ineeded to get to a place where I
could steward and manage these things.
Well, as they came.
I'd like to tell you a littlebit more of your interest to Kellen.
Sure.
(08:08):
So what happened was I thenwondered was it fair?
And I had to say yes, it was fair.
Because I am someone who isnot very competitive.
The only competition I have is myself.
And that's playful.
When I was employed, I askedmyself how much can I charge for
my company in order for peoplestill paying my services?
(08:32):
And it became up to $750 per hour.
Which was nice for the company.
And then I met a managementconsultant because I decided to go
solo to become an entrepreneur.
And he said to me, marcus,this doesn't work anymore.
You are not in charge of thecompany anymore.
Now it's you.
(08:53):
So you will need to slash yourpricing by half.
So 750 divided by two.
Right?
It's quite a reduction.
So when I became anentrepreneur, I received an email
out of the blue from Aprevious client of the X company
asking whether I would stilldo outplacement.
So I replied, yes.
So he said, look, I have adear friend who just got fired.
(09:15):
He needs someone like you.
He has a budget.
So my wife asked me, how muchare you going to charge?
And I said, oh, before?
She said, why, you are goingto charge $750.
I said, are you crazy?
The other guy told me the half.
(09:35):
She said, was it the companythat was the quality or was it you?
So I drove one hour to thatplace and I battled with myself,
I can tell you.
And in the end, I charged 750and I got paid.
So that's the side story.
No, it's actually a reallyimportant story because there's a
notion that there's some magicabout all the rest of that crap that
(09:57):
that can consultant had bought into.
And the person that knew youbefore knew what you charged, and
I don't know why they wouldhave an expectation that suddenly
you'd value yourself at halfjust because you were hanging your
own shingle.
That's nonsense.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So imagine what I did then is,okay, this was my first client.
(10:19):
And then we went to Budapestand Hungary, and we came back and
I had an invitation to amanagement summary.
And so I went there and I hadalready paid for the gala dinner.
So before the gala dinner, Igot so tired, and I thought, gosh,
(10:39):
goodness me, now I have beenin this award ceremony, and now I
have to stay like two or threemore hours and eat way too much.
So in the end I decided, let's stay.
Guess what?
Two seats were free at mytable, and one of the winners of
this award, with hissecretary, sat next to me.
So I did nothing else thanjust interview him, have fun with
(11:02):
him, ask him questions, askhim questions, made it all about
him.
So after, I think, 20 minutes,he said, sir, I have no bloody clue
who you are.
I know nothing about you.
Let's make it now about you.
Imagine being a consultanthaving that curveball.
Let's make it all about you.
(11:23):
So at the end of the night, hesaid, sir, I don't know yet how,
but you and I are going to dobusiness with each other.
No acquisition, absolutely nothing.
Right?
So he calls me up in a coupleof weeks and he says, sir, I need
your help.
We have a fire in our house.
So I went there, like, not aliteral fire, metaphoric fire.
And he asked me, how much areyou going to charge?
(11:47):
And I said, you don't want toknow that.
He said, yeah, but you canTell me your hourly price.
I said, no, no, I'm not.
I'm doing something else.
I'll ask you to go home, intoyour office and give it some thought.
How much would it cost you?
Or how much would it be worthfor you if I solved your problem?
(12:08):
And I just looked at him andhe said, okay, challenge accepted.
So we met again for dinnerafter lunch.
And he said, okay, so what isyour hourly rate?
Oh no, I'm just kidding.
I have done my homework, he said.
So he presented me a budget of$20,000, which was unheard of as
(12:29):
the first business or a company.
No references, absolutely noproof of concept of mine.
All he had was based on that20 minute conversation, I made it
all about himself.
That's apparently where he sawmy quality.
Think about it.
So it's much more thestillness that spoke then already
(12:50):
than actually what I said.
So what happened later wasthen I met another management consultant.
And guess what he said?
He said, markus, I'm sorry toburst your bubble.
This is not going to go onlike this.
You have to do acquisition.
You have to learn marketing,you have to learn advertising, you
(13:14):
have to learn how to persuade people.
Guess what?
I bought into it.
You know what happened?
My business declined.
And that's when the universesaid, that's when we took you into
the university of life.
That's when we told you thatit's not about people who actually
(13:35):
sustain you.
It is us, the universe.
And one day I even ask, how isit now?
I have literally severed tiesto almost all my connections, so
I have no one anymore who canbring me business.
And then the universe saidsomething very straightforward.
(13:55):
Do you really believe that onesingle cent has ever come from people,
from organizations, from clients?
And that was my wake up call, Kim.
That's when I understood moneynever came from someone.
It always came throughsomeone, always through someone.
(14:21):
And that was when I was, yeah,getting clear.
So I said, okay, dependenciesare all gone now it's all trusting
again.
What I always trusted in thatthe universe does provide.
And it does.
That's wonderful, you know,and it's true.
It's wonderful and it's true.
(14:42):
I want to talk more about thatand I want to ask you a little bit
more about your business.
But before I do, I want to goback to nine and a half.
So before you had thisaccident, you said you were born
knowing that you were to be ofservice, that your mission here was
to serve.
What did that look like for an8 year old or a 9 year old before
you?
(15:03):
What did that feel like, howdid that show up?
Like, how does an 8 year oldthat knows I'm here to serve, what
does that look like?
It's absolutely natural.
It's a natural love for people.
It's a natural love forwanting everyone else to do good
because I was doing great.
So I had the desire for peopleto get to that point as well, that
(15:27):
they remember that they aremore than just what they believe
they are.
And basically you can say Iwas a ray of sunshine.
And I believe that ray of sunshine.
You know, even when I wentinto my apprentice and everything,
they always said, markus, youare like a ray of sunshine.
And I believe that probablysums it up the most.
(15:48):
So I brought light where therewas darkness.
I brought hope where there was despair.
I think that sums it up really well.
I was just a normal kid.
Well, it's interesting becausemy next question is going to be,
okay, what happened when youwere nine?
(16:09):
Because that marked a turningpoint or a change not in who you
were supposed to be orultimately would become, but in an
interruption, I guess, in that flow.
So what happened?
What was the accident thathappened when you were young?
It's interesting.
The accident itself wasn't a catalyst.
Three kids, and remember I wasnine and a half, I was the oldest.
(16:32):
Three kids almost died and Iwas accused of it.
Oh, wow.
So what happened was I was amember of a church, of an evangelical
church.
And the elders came to me andthey said, marcus, we always warned
you, your freedom will one daynot only endanger you, but other
(16:57):
people.
Guess what I've done.
I listened and I said, okay,now I definitely realize I am a danger
for the society.
So I went to the church andsaid, okay, I hand over my freedom
because apparently I am notonly a threat for myself, but I'm
a threat for other people.
(17:19):
So that's when I decided to gohome, speak to my soul and say to
my soul, you are in danger.
I have just handed overfreedom, so I cannot protect you
anymore.
And if you roam free, they aregoing to harm you.
So we decided to ball it inand that one day when I'm grown up,
(17:42):
when I'm old enough, I willcome back and take it out.
So what I did not know is thatmy soul always walked with me.
It kind of stayed walled in,but you know, the soul, it doesn't
get stuck by a wall.
So it basically always roamedwith me.
(18:03):
So that is, yeah, pretty muchthe summary.
Somebody.
That's crazy.
But it's a really illustrationof how powerful the mentor figures
Whether they're parents,church, community, school have to
us because they tell animpressionable nine year old kid,
you're dangerous.
And so you go home and say I'mdangerous, I better hide it, stuff
(18:26):
it in, sew it shut, whatever,zip it up and put it away.
That's pretty much what it wasin my life.
Life changed like in an instant.
Wow.
Picture this.
An absolute blossoming childray of sunshine.
The next day I would not evendare to walk into a restaurant where
(18:48):
someone was bathing with meunless that person came and went
into the restaurant first.
Because I was totally of theimpression that I do not deserve
that air in there, that itbelongs to other people.
So it's from an absolute highas the nine and a half year old to
absolutely loss of identitywith an instant.
(19:13):
So when did you start to.
Was it just a gradual processthat began immediately or was there
another initiating event thatsaid wait a minute, this isn't right,
I'm not supposed to be livingin a place where I'm convinced that
I'm not worthy and I don'tdeserve to breathe the air.
Where did that begin to change?
I would say the one time thatit really changed was when I decided
(19:37):
Kalin to be the first of thischurch to go and seek help of a psychotherapist.
That was the first time?
Yeah.
So how old were you then?
I believe I was in my 20s,early 20s, 15 years.
13 years.
You lived in this contractedwadded up state under the influence
(19:59):
of some person who eitherintentionally or unintentionally,
I don't know, told you somestuff, you internalized it.
Finally, after 13 years orsomething, you said this is this,
this can't be right.
I need to go talk to somebody.
And you wouldn't talk to ashrink to say, hey, help me without.
Is this right?
(20:19):
And so that began.
You know what I did?
No, I'll tell you what I did.
That was crazy.
So I went to see a guy who Ithought could be really become my
mentor.
So at the end he said, okay,this is the charge which the insurance
company is going to allow meto do.
(20:41):
However, from you, I requireanother hundred dollars under the
table.
So he ended up becoming my guide.
I didn't want to play any rolein that corruption thing.
Right, right.
So I left and I went to thenumber two.
And the number two was aprobably he was in his 50s, I would
(21:04):
say, a Protestant priest whoknew what I was talking about in
terms of my church bringing.
And I went to see him with thewords like I remember it was yesterday.
I said to him, I want to learnmachismo from you.
(21:24):
Because you can't imagine my background.
Everything was absolutely outof line.
Like, I had.
What is it called?
The spine.
Right.
I had no metaphorical spine anymore.
Totally weak.
And I went to see him with thewords, I want to learn machismo.
And he looked at me and theysaid, okay, let's do it.
(21:51):
Wow, that's how it all started.
Yeah, I think it was in mymid-20s or late 20s, so it was almost
20 years in the system.
So life is always a set ofexperiences, and when things happen
to us, they either ruin us orrefine us.
And sometimes we let thingsruin us for a day, a week, a month,
(22:12):
a year, a decade, many decades.
And eventually we can allowthem or treat them as opportunities
for refinement.
So as you look back that,nearly 20 years of clouding your
light or living in a falsebelief or having been affected by
the, you know, the opinionsand teaching of this person, and
(22:35):
you look at that situationnow, is there something, anything
about it that you say that wasreally beneficial?
I learned this, that, and the other.
Let me answer you differently, okay?
One and a half years in withmy psychotherapist, he suddenly looked
(22:55):
at me when I came, and hesaid, sir, I need to ask you a question.
Many other people, probablymost went through what you went through,
would either have landed in anasylum, mental asylum, or they would
have committed suicide.
I just looked at him, and thenhe said, but if I look into your
(23:22):
eyes, you have one of the mosthealthiest set of eyes I've ever
seen.
So he knew the eyes are themirror to my soul, right?
So he knew my soul wasn't damaged.
He said, how is that possible?
And I said, look, it mightsurprise you, especially as a priest,
(23:42):
but I always knew that thisbelongs to the path of my life, that
this belongs to my becomingand to my arriving.
And he said, yeah, otherwiseit's not possible to imagine and
to explain.
So I never blamed the peoplewho caused the trauma in the end.
(24:02):
At church, so many peoplethroughout my life said, marcus,
if I had experience where youhad experienced that one day, I would
have cursed people.
I would have cursed yourparents, because your parents weren't
there to defend you.
They even actually let you inthe belief for 20 years that you
were responsible for thataccident, where there was a whole
(24:26):
different reason why itactually happened in the end.
So, no, there wasn't one daywhere I thought I actually blamed
someone.
But what it wasn't, I neverThanked the system for what it taught
me.
I thanked the universe fortaking me into school and teaching
(24:46):
me those lessons.
And, you know, as I said, I'm53 years old, killer now.
And the universe told meprobably half a year ago, he said,
look, you had to understandwhat humans are going through in
order to understand and to beable to help them.
Because unless you wentthrough what most people never went
(25:10):
through, you won't be able toreally help them.
Because my psychology said,look, if you come to me with the
business issues, I can't help you.
I have no bloody clue from business.
I'm a priest and I know psychology.
I can help you.
Psychotherapy, right?
But I can't help you when youcome with business things.
You will have to explain it tome as if you explained it to a job.
(25:34):
So guess what?
This does not happen with meif I work with somebody, because
I went through the worst.
I know what it means to loseyour identity, absolutely.
To the point where you don'teven know that you exist.
Where you feel that breathingdoes not belong to you, fresh air
(25:56):
does not belong to you in arestaurant, because, no, there's
a limited amount, right?
Too many people in it.
There's no oxygen anymore.
So I thought the oxygenbelongs to others.
But that totally disappearedover time.
And I reclaimed was actuallyat my psychotherapist.
So I sat on the ground and Isaid, look, now I show you something.
(26:17):
Now I'm showing you how I'mreclaiming my own term.
And he said, look, it wascrazy to hear you talk because you
asked questions, sat on theground before I even understood what
you asked.
You already answered.
Why is that?
And I said, look, I never camefor you for answers.
(26:39):
I paid you money, so you giveme your four balls.
I rented them basically tofinally have a place where I'm allowed
to speak my truth.
And that's what it came down to.
That was the beginning of myhealing, when I finally had a place.
(26:59):
But I had to pay for it.
I had no friends who would do that.
They were in the system.
So I had to pay a professional.
And he just listened to, solet's talk.
Let's.
And so the years have gone byand you've reclaimed that.
And I want to get to whatyou're doing now.
So today, as you are anentrepreneur, you had a job for some
(27:24):
time, you're an employee, youhad a company, you then left that.
And you told some storiesabout leaving that today.
What is your focus?
How do you add good to the world?
Like, I Know that you're.
Your mission is to help othersfind their own light.
Like you had.
And you talked about peopleremembering over time, and you were
and then weren't and are again.
(27:46):
So tell me what you do rightnow to add good to the world.
That's a phrase that I use.
That just means that's aboutyour purpose and passion.
What do you do?
I think it's important tounderstand that a little while ago,
I was quite a successfulbusiness consultant and executive
coach.
And I suddenly was taught overno executive coaching anymore, no
(28:10):
business consulting anymore.
And that's when I became alittle bit weary.
So what I was told is, markus,you are becoming a steward of stillness.
And I thought, okay, thatsounds interesting.
Steward of stillness.
You know, most people wouldthink it's like yoga.
It's like meditation where yousit still.
(28:32):
It's the opposite.
Steward of stillness basicallymeans I am providing a room which
is not like a physical room.
It's like for every meet, it'sjust stillness.
So what I'm doing is I'mproviding a room for people where
you can look at like this.
There's like a cloak over uswhere all the outside noise is silent,
(28:56):
all the stresses are outside.
And suddenly there's acoherence between your thoughts and
your heart.
And that opens the channel forthe soul.
And suddenly you begin to seethings like, wow, I never looked
at it like this.
Or somebody else says, markusnever told anyone what I'm going
(29:22):
to tell you now.
And that is when the channelis sometimes even for the first time
in their lives, Keelan, lookat that.
For the first time in theirlives, they are so calm, there's
so much in stillness that theyhear their own soul speak to them
(29:42):
for the first time in their lives.
Because, you see, why did Isay I'm not a consultant and a coach
anymore?
If you're a businessconsultant, you are here to solve
the problems of the client.
So the client tells you whatproblems he wants to solve, right?
Look at it from another point.
(30:03):
Look at it from a doctor, anMD Medical doctor.
You will go to a doctor andsay, doc, you know what?
My elbow hurts.
I want this elbow treated.
Every good doctor would lookat you and say, keelan, you know
what?
Let's have a diagnosis first.
(30:24):
And he says, you know what?
You actually have a shoulder issue.
And you would think, you knowwhat, doc, I have an elbow issue.
Right?
If you do not help me, I willfind a doctor who helps me with my
female.
Right, sorry.
That's how consulting andcoaching works.
(30:45):
Unless I'm willing to help aclient with the perceived problem.
I am not a good consultant.
And that's when the universesaid, marcus, stop that.
That's bullshit.
You have to get people intostillness first, where the actual
problems become evident.
And based on that, you cancoach and you can consult, but the
(31:10):
prescription is not.
Or the diagnosis is not doneby the client, which is absolutely
insane if you think about it.
I have many friends who are doctors.
If I tell them how consultingwork, they say, marcus is like, Charlotte,
how can you even do that?
And you know, a friend ofmine, I was in a call recently, and
(31:32):
she said, marcus, let's lookat one question.
Why is it that there are somany consultants and even more bigger
problems in corporations thanever before?
And I said, you just gave the answer.
It's the consultants.
(31:52):
It's the consultants.
So that's when I realized,going into stillness, providing the
people the room where theirown voice, their own soul starts
revealing the actual issues.
That's when real change happens.
And anything else isbasically, I've been doing it long
(32:14):
enough.
It's basically superficialmakeup brain, if you want to put
it this way.
But if you really want to gointo depth, I'll give you an example.
A company has a hugeturnaround, so what would you do?
You take care of theturnaround, right?
You help them with hiring.
But if you go in depth, yousuddenly realize, hey, there is one
(32:39):
person in silence, a silentkiller, making sure that there is
so much mobbing taking placein such a low, deep level that no
one even sees it.
And the problem is not theperson who mobs.
The problem is the person whois the owner.
The owner doesn't have a spine.
(32:59):
And that's the problem.
So when I start working withthe owner and say, you know what?
You are actually the problem.
The problem is that you haveno spine.
You have allowed this personto become a huge issue for your company.
That wouldn't happen because I helped.
I was a great consultant.
(33:20):
I helped with the hiring.
I helped with the retention.
You know, we made sure thatthe image was corrected.
No, the problem was the ownerall the time.
He had no guts to hire peoplewho he really needed.
You know why?
Because he didn't believe hedeserves to be successful beyond
(33:41):
measure.
That's what most people suffer with.
That's when I understoodstillness is the key.
You know, it's reallyinteresting, the way you've described
that.
It's a reflection of what youfelt when that happened, that accident
happened, and that stuffhappened, and then you believed you
(34:03):
didn't deserve to breathe the air.
You just told me about anowner who didn't believe he deserved
this.
That and the other.
The other thing you saidthat's really interesting is you
said, I rented the space fromthe shrink so I could hear myself
think I could have a space tofind things out.
And then you said, what Iprovide is the four walls and the
space for them to do what Idid in the space with that shrink.
(34:28):
So it's interesting theparallels there about your own.
You're absolutely right.
I love that path of growth and.
What you provide now.
And I find that.
I find that over and overagain that our path of development,
whatever it was, is the veryessence of what we have to offer
(34:51):
to help people with, becauseit's what has helped us, caused us,
allowed us to become what we are.
And so in both those cases,parallel of don't deserve.
Don't deserve the space todiscover and the space to discover.
So that's really interesting.
It's beautifully put.
And then actually addsomething else, which you find the
(35:13):
kicker.
I suddenly learned that I'mnot only the steward of stillness,
but that I'm the steward ofthe Institute of cfli.
And that made me giggle.
And I said, how the heck do Ihave a institute?
Then it dawned on me.
Wherever I am, the Instituteof Catalyst for Legacy and Influence
(35:40):
is present.
So basically, I have my mobilefour walls, which I move everywhere
I am.
Isn't that amazing?
So the four walls you justmentioned have become my mobile institute.
So when, if I travel to LA andI have a meeting there, the Institute
(36:03):
materializes energetically.
And when I leave again, I takethe Institute with me.
Catalyst for Legacy and Influence.
Is that a company name or isthat a descriptor of how you provide
those four walls and the spacefor people to hear themselves think
(36:24):
maybe for the first time?
It's pretty much who I am.
I am the catalyst for legacyand influence because this is exactly
what I'm doing.
I'm helping people to find alegacy and thus become influential.
Yeah.
So that's.
I love the way you'vedescribed it and the journey to get
there.
I mean, you know, I talk tolots of people that have a message,
(36:46):
and the message is alwaysabout helping people step into their
power, realize who they are,get out of their own way.
And we've all heard all thosedifferent ways of describing, pointing
at, I guess, a particular goal.
And the way you described alittle while ago is another way,
and I love it, which is acoherence between your thoughts.
And your heart so that yoursoul can come through that finally
(37:11):
open channel.
Why do you think it's so hard?
Like, so many people aretalking about this, working on it,
and you've got a miraculousstory in power that you do.
Why do you think it's so hardto get our thoughts and our heart
in coherence so that our soulcan speak through?
I would say it pretty muchcomes down to socialization, because
(37:34):
as I said, most people areborn having forgotten.
So the only thing they learnis what society teaches them.
So I don't think anyone is tobe blamed who walks into that trap.
And I believe my job is reallyto help people to remember that they
(37:55):
are more than they actuallywere taught to be.
So I believe it very much hasto do with the system.
And there is a system which isnot interested in people remembering,
because as you can imagine, ifsomebody starts to remember, they
become free.
And if you are free, let'slook at church.
(38:16):
You are not controllable anymore.
You know, suddenly lovebecomes the driver and not fear.
It's interesting that churches.
In the name of the divine, inthe name of the Creator who created
this soul and, you know, gaveus all this stuff.
It is in the name of thatcreator that all that fear is exercised.
(38:40):
Yeah, isn't that interesting?
And obviously that was not the design.
It's a perversion, distortionof that.
And over time, you know, wehave created a system where we suck
the life out of everybody.
Whether it's at birth or attwo or at nine and a half or whatever.
(39:01):
We suck the life out of themand, you know, wad them up into this.
You got to do this to be okay.
You're supposed to do this,supposed to do that.
And internally, everybody'sfeeling the chafing of this doesn't
seem right.
And there's so few that arewilling to go explore that.
(39:21):
And you're called to reach andempower and enable and wake up and
provide the space and, youknow, the Institute for Legacy and
Impact.
What is it?
Say it again.
Say cfli.
What is it?
Catalyst.
Catalyst for Legacy.
For Legacy and Influence.
Catalyst for Legacy and Influence.
(39:42):
I love that.
So I love the catalyst word.
And you notice on my screen Isay alchemist, and I use both not
interchangeably, becausethey're not quite the same.
But a catalyst really issomething that is not in a chemistry,
something that's not used upin the process, but something without
which this particular reactionwouldn't take place.
(40:04):
So your catalyst, the fourwalls that you take with you to create
the safety and the space andthe peace.
You know, the steward ofstillness, catalyst for legacy and
influence, and the steward of stillness.
Love both those descriptions.
So if people want to find outmore, if they want to, you know,
(40:24):
get more knowledge and connectmore with Marcus and hear more about
the steward of stillness,where do they go?
How do they do that?
So the easiest thing.
Kellen is definitely going onmy LinkedIn profile, which is just
my first name and last name.
Marcus with a K. Then M E U KO M. And just send me a connection
request.
(40:45):
Just mentioned that they sawme on your show and I'm happy to
get on the call with them.
How hard do you.
So I'm going to spell that again.
M A R K U S N E U K O M. I dothat because when you have a name
like Kellen Fluker, payattention to that sort of stuff.
But anyway, so how do you getpeople started?
(41:08):
I mean, we've lived sosocialized and buried in this noise,
in this system for so longthat it becomes the default operating
system.
And what you're doing istrying to create a pattern interrupt
where they have space and anopportunity to get in coherence and
to allow stillness to createthe conduit.
How do you start with someonewho is.
(41:29):
Knows there's something wrong?
They're feeling that internalstrife between who they.
Who they ought to be andwhat's going on.
How do you get me started on that?
If I come to you and I hearyou and I say, yeah, yeah, I want
some of that.
What do you do first?
You see what's really interesting.
I give you a life example.
I met the person and thatperson heard that voice.
(41:53):
Is this it?
Right, it's the soul speaking,because you mentioned it.
This is like, you know, yeah,that's exactly what it is.
That's the conflict betweenthe soul that knows there's a lot
more, and the system.
And the system or the ego orwhatever that we learn to live inside.
So anyway, go ahead.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So he got to the point wherehe said, markus, not one more day.
(42:18):
Not do I want to, but can Istay in the system?
And then he came to me.
We had several sessions andwe're still in the process, by the
way.
It can be quite a long process.
So he came to me and hesuddenly said, markus, I have one
question for you.
What does it going to cost me?
(42:38):
And I knew it's not money,he's asking.
And I said to him, it islosing all your illusions, believing
you know who you are.
And Finding out you are notwho the world told you to be.
He said, oh, shit.
Said, yeah, it's quite a lot.
(43:00):
So what do you have to gain?
It's total freedom.
It's finally getting to thepoint where you actually were meant
to be finally leaving ahamster wheel.
Because, you know, this issomething so shocking to me, Ken.
So many people actuallybelieve they have become hamsters.
(43:22):
Not only are they human beingsrunning in a hamster, which I believe
they are, they actually become hamsters.
So when they start workingwith me, what happens is they take
one little hamster foot andput it on the ground outside of the
wheel very carefully.
They're breathing out whenthey do that.
(43:42):
And suddenly that littlehamster foot touches the ground.
Guess what?
They become human beings immediately.
Because right now they'rehuman havings, they're human achievers,
they're human doings, and theyhave no bloody clue what it means
to be a human being.
And that's when it happens.
When the first time your foot,the little hamster foot, touches
(44:05):
the ground and you suddenlybecome a human being and you think
there is more, always knew it,there is more.
But that actually doesn't makesure that this person wants to do
it because the foot goes intothe hands of.
It could scare him to death.
(44:25):
I don't know if I can live outhere or whatever.
I know exactly the devil, youknow, versus the unknown, right?
Yes.
And I can tell you this personhas about 13 different hamster wheels
parallel to each other.
Yeah.
Has made them very cushiony,but he says, it's freaking me out.
I, as a hamster, are runningbetween the 13 projects all the time.
(44:50):
All the time.
And I said, yeah, that would stop.
You would suddenly be able toleave that hamster wheel system,
which actually condemns you tobecome a hamster and be a hamster.
Imagine how painful that mustbe to be a hamster when you actually
know your soul tells youyou're a human being, you're meant
(45:10):
for greatness.
You're not meant here to bethe person who makes millions for
somebody else who refuses tolisten to its soul and makes you
its slave.
And yes, pays you nicely.
300,000.
500,000.
There's a price.
(45:32):
Yeah, the price understood that.
But when they're buying, whatthey're buying is your soul.
So they paid you 300,000.
They bought your soul and yousold your soul for 300,000.
That's exactly it.
That's exactly it.
And I tell you, the soulstarts out, and I tell you from experience,
the soul starts out as a weelittle voice.
(45:54):
And if Marcus didn't listen,guess what happened?
It grew into a bullhorn Icould not ignore anymore.
And guess what?
I became ill. And I had onedream one night, eland which shocked
me so much, I saw my soul as alittle boy standing next to a tree
(46:20):
with a little ax and starthitting it and wanting it to fall.
And I ask, hey, stop.
What are you doing, Marcus?
You don't leave me a choice.
Either you destroy me or Ihave to destroy you.
(46:41):
And that's when I woke up.
And I said, okay, message received.
You know how many peoplesuffer from shoulder pain, neck pain,
headache, all sorts of issuepain, nerve pain?
That's exactly it.
So I went to see a doctor, andthe doctor said to me, you know what,
(47:01):
sir?
Picture this here are nerves, right?
So he went to, let's say, thismuch away from my skin here, and
I was yelling in pain.
And he said, I haven't eventouched you.
I said, yeah, it's enough.
So he went to the nerves hereand just went close to it, and I
(47:22):
stood up in pain.
And he said, sir, your nervesystem is absolutely laid bare.
Either you stop or you end upin a wheelchair.
That was the wake up call back then.
And I wish that the people wholisten to us do not have to go that
far.
But they will.
(47:42):
I can tell you.
They will.
They will.
Because your soul's nevergoing to give up.
And you can wait until you die or.
You're right.
I love the tree example.
So this has been really good.
We're just.
We're to the end of our time,and I'm really grateful that we have
another opportunity to talk onmy other.
I look forward to it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because there's so much moreof this I want to explore.
(48:04):
And that's beautiful.
So is there any final wordsyou'd like to give the audience before
we're done?
There's basically only oneanswer to everyone.
Yes, there is more.
Thank you.
Thanks for being with me today.
Thank you for having me.
Great pleasure.
You're welcome.
So I want audience.
(48:24):
Listeners, pay attention.
Yes, there is more.
That's a beautiful summary.
And it's the answer.
And so when you're feelingthat yearning, I don't care what
you've got going on right now,the yearning is there.
And it does get louder, as hesaid, if you choose to pay attention
instead of ignore it today, itdoesn't matter how many times you've
ignored it before.
You can start right now.
Get a hold of Marcus, find outhis stuff.
(48:46):
Go to LinkedIn.
Check it out.
But the truth is there is moreand you can have it.
And that will help you movetowards your ultimate life right
here, right now.
(49:06):
Your opportunity for massivegrowth is right right in front of
you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenfluekermedia.com if you
want more free tools, go hereYourUltimate Life CA subscribe Share
(49:35):
it on the ground.
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