December 23, 2025 • 50 mins
Most people don’t fail because they lack discipline or desire.
They fail because they misdiagnose what’s happening inside their own brain.
In this episode, Dr. Dee Poskas reveals why “being stuck” is not a personality flaw, why doubt is meant to slow impulsivity — not stop progress — and how disappointment quietly shapes risk, leadership, and decision-making. If you’ve ever felt busy but stagnant, driven but blocked, or successful but unsatisfied, this conversation will change how you see yourself — and how you move next.
Key Takeaways
- What “being stuck” actually means psychologically
- Why doubt is a yield sign, not a stop sign
- False flagging theory and impulsivity
- Burnout vs decision paralysis vs overcommitment
- Why most people misdiagnose their stuck cycle
- The neuroscience behind disappointment
- Disappointment stacking and risk avoidance
- Head, heart, and gut brain alignment
- Why high achievers overwork and still stall
- How better diagnosis leads to faster growth
🔥 Ready to turn your truth into impact? Join the Dream • Build • Write It Webinar — where bold creators transform ideas into movements.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to the show. Tired ofthe hype about living a dream? It's
time for truth. This is theplace for tools, power and real talk.
So you can create the life youdream and deserve your ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create. Youhave infinite power. Hello and welcome
(00:29):
to this episode of yourultimate life life, the podcast that
I created five and a half morethan that years ago to help people
live, not just talk about, butlive a life of purpose, prosperity
and joy. And to provide notjust the information, but the tools
and the examples and theencouragement to get to that place
(00:54):
because it is possible. TodayI'm blessed with a special guest.
Have Dr. Dee Poskas, Dr. D,,,whatever, Dr. D here with me as a
guest. Welcome to the show.
Thank you, Kellen. Thank you.It's wonderful to be here.
So I've known, I'm not goingto, I don't do intros, but I have
known Dr. D for many yearsnow. Not 17, 18, so five or six,
(01:17):
five or seven years, somethinglike that. Bunch of years. And have,
I'm grateful to that. And Iknow that she's a dedicated, powerful
coach and we're having her nowon specifically to talk about some
new program books and stuffthat she's done. And you'll get introduced
to her without some formalintro as we go along. I'd like to
(01:38):
ask first of all, what, whatis the way that you choose? Because
we all choose everything.Right. What is the way that Dr. D
chooses to add good to the world?
I think the most important wayis that I really try to use science
(02:03):
to help people to not takethemselves so personally and have
a better understanding howbrilliant they're wired. So they're
wired so brilliant in how touse that to move forward, to get
through things. So I like toadd that with also just a sense of
(02:26):
depth for them that they'reso, they're so complex, but they're
simple at the same time.
So that's, that's good andit's really interesting. So, so let's
dive in a little bit more on that.
Okay.
The you use science and tounravel the complexity or to help
explain the complexity. Likethere's a lot of woo, woo talk about
(02:50):
manifestation and all thatkind of stuff. And I don't not believe
it. It's just sometimes peoplecan't connect that to the bottom
line or their sales orwhatever. And so talk about this
science piece and I knowyou're, you have a PhD, so talk a
little bit about your approachto that.
Yeah. So my PhD is inleadership in human science. So it's
(03:13):
the study of how our behaviorsand our beliefs create our outcomes.
And more than that, of course,it's a study of every leadership
theory out there. But what I,I find really fascinating, that just
natural is to read about what,what's going on within us that determines
what we do on the outside. Sofor example, I love researching different
(03:37):
concepts that happen topeople, especially entrepreneurs
and high achievers, likedoubt. I'm researching doubt right
now. And what is that? Whathappens in our brain with doubt.
And there's this thing calledfalse flagging theory, which has
been out there. I didn'trealize it's been out there, but
it's taking that. And so somepeople try to reframe and either
(04:01):
like take doubt and let itbecome a manifestation or a part
of their belief system, orthey ignore it. So then there's impulsivity.
But through understandingscience, this false flagging theory,
it says that you can use doubtto help you, so it slows down your
impulsivity. It tells you towhat wisdom would be here. And it's
(04:25):
meant to be like a yield sign.Doubt is not a stop sign. So by helping
people to understand, likeeven that portion of doubt, that
little concept that you wantto have a fault, the more you have
a false tagging theory, itsays, let me look at this, let me
(04:45):
put objectivity and let me notpersonalize it. And then people are
more comfortable with doubt asan asset and instead of unknown.
And so that's what I like todo is I like to use science of uncovering
everything that they gothrough and seeing it for a viability
versus more of a detriment.
(05:09):
That's really, really aninteresting thing and I want to repeat
some of it back and make surethat I've understood this right.
So doubt, normally without anyanalysis or thinking, doubt makes
me go, would make somebody go,oh, I don't know, I don't know if
I should do that. I, I, yeah,I doubt that'll work. And we don't
(05:29):
do anything more than that.And so that puts us in a place of
dithering and not, not moving.Right? I'm, I'm dithering. Oh, I
don't know if I can finishthis song or I don't know if I can
do a performance or I don'tknow if I can, this investment will
work or whatever. And so thatputs us in a place of dithering and
from that place we don't doanything. So the answer is we've
(05:52):
Decided.
Yeah.
And the decision is always no.
Yeah.
And what you're telling me isif I. If I feel the doubt and I understand
something new, which is. Thisisn't. No, this is do a little more
research. Not as aprocrastination technique.
(06:13):
Right.
But as a. As a prudentactivity. And so what it occurs to
me, I'm going to test this andyou tell me if this is right or wrong.
Yeah. I'm going to do a littlemore research and I'm going to give
myself, you know, five days todo it. So I get five day. So without
(06:34):
that knowledge, I go, well,this means I don't know. And we know
for marketing, you know,confused people take no action. So
if I know this is just a yieldsign. You use that statement a minute
ago. Maybe it was before westarted recording. I don't know.
But it's a yield sign thatsays, hang on for a sec, and I'm
going to make a decision bythe end of the week. Then I can understand
(06:57):
that it didn't mean. No, itmeant maybe. And the maybe has a
deadline.
Yeah, well, well said. Becausewhat you said is what happens to
people is when they feeldoubt, they actually think what's
called hindsight bias. Itmeans, no, I don't. I doubt this.
So therefore I mean no. Orthey have no faults tagging, and
(07:21):
they're like, I'm gonna justdo it impulsively. But that was really
like. Like you said, it's totake a step back, utilize. It has
nothing to do with right orwrong. It's just your brain connecting.
This is something new. It isnot a state to stay in.
When you teach people aboutthis, do you tell them they need
(07:41):
to put a deadline on it sothat it doesn't turn into no, we
have to.
Otherwise it could be it leadsinto, you know. You know, talked
a little bit about my work.All my work goes back to, like, being
stuck. Like, what's thescience of being stuck? And so if
we do not put an externalfactor on it as a person. Right.
(08:03):
Then what will happen? Itbecomes a state. So literally, a
client or a person orachiever, any of us can stop moving
because we found evidence todoubt that. So it must mean I should
not keep moving. But if we sayinstead, and you and I talked about
this before we got in thepodcast, if we say instead, there's
(08:26):
doubt, but there's got to be abigger piece here. That means I pivot.
Doubt means I need either moreinformation or I pivot. But it doesn't
Mean it becomes a state. Andso you are measuring when's the next
time? Is it five days?
Yeah, it seems like. Seemslike the establishment of a decision
(08:51):
point. Yeah, it gives you. Isjust critical to understanding this
because you're right. Doubt byitself means no because it feels
uncomfortable, you know, andwhat it doesn't mean. No, what it
means is, hang on a sec. And asec is till the end of the day or
till the end of the week. Andwe have to finish the sentence in
(09:13):
our heads, in our sort ofcontext. Not now, but I'm going to
decide. I need to think aboutit for. Not forever, a day, two days.
Okay, we'll decide. And thatmeans not. I'm not deciding. So that's
really interesting. That's afabulous example of what you do.
And I hadn't heard you walkthrough that particular emotion or
(09:38):
feeling before, so that'sreally good. So tell me, how many
things are there like that? Sothere's the feeling of doubt. And
you said your box is thescience of being stuck. What does
stuck mean?
So stuck people say it. Andright now in marketing, if you look,
you will see a lot of things.You're in your business stuck, you
(10:01):
know, and the marketing thingis stuck. Well, that actually we
were researching the lastcouple of years. It. It's a. What
people feel, but they don'trealize. It's a psychological state
that they put their brain intheir heart, you know, in. So you're
stuck in different ways. So itmeans you don't. One area of stuck
(10:22):
people psychologically burnedout. That's one area. They are burned
out because they don't. Haveyou talked about this? The why? The
sense of purpose. They'rerunning from one thing to the next
thing without discernment.They're. They're literally impulsively
overworking themselves so thatfor them we have an inventory and
(10:43):
they actually can assess whichof the stock cycles they're in. But
they're more. They're more.They're more than one. There's like
five of them. So that personis dealing with life in a way that
they're keeping busyness as asign for moving forward. I'm just
going to keep busy. They'renot aware of that. They wouldn't
(11:03):
say that necessarily, but thatis a true stuck cycle, and so they
can avoid it.
I want to interrupt you therebecause it's so interesting. See,
I haven't been with you. Youtalked. You've mentioned the five
stuck cycles before in otherconversations we've had, but I haven't
been with you through these.And so when you say that about burnout,
(11:24):
what it feels like to me is,okay, I'm not making the progress
I want. I have the idea thatbusy is in badge of honor. I don't
know what I'm doing. I'm justgoing to keep going and pretty soon
I'm just stuck. And thestuckness is I'm so overwhelmed by
this mass of things that Icould do. They're not parsed or organized.
(11:46):
And so this. It's not that.Yeah, so that's a very interesting
overwhelm, overwhelmed, stuck.
Cool, isn't that? Yeah. Andthat's what's so cool. What I love
about the neuroscience pieceis it, it tells us what's happening
within and makes when peoplehear that, they're like, okay, so
(12:06):
they're instead of just sayingyou're stuck, we can actually assess
what area of stuck. And thenonce you know the stuck and you know,
if you don't deal with it likethat stuck cycle, a burnout is different
than like a decision paralysisstuck cycle. Right. One needs a system,
the other needs a flowchart.You know, there's two different things,
(12:30):
but so people just genericallysay stuck cycle or we're stuck. But
it's a very true thing. It's,it's a psychology of state that can
last. There are people thatwill have a stuck cycle for a year,
two years, a stagnant suckcycle. And it could be one area of
their life. It could be thisparticular area in business. But
(12:52):
there are people that have astuck cycle throughout their whole
life. Like the stuck cycle ofover commitment. There are people
that say, and they'll tell youthat in the rational mind, they'll
say, yes, I, I'm a peoplepleaser. I keep people pleasing with
no intent of changing it.Right. They know it. The rational
mind fakes them out thatthey're doing something because they
(13:13):
talked about it. But that's avery serious stuck cycle. When you're
over committing continuallyfor the hope that somebody would
recognize you, realize you andacknowledge you, that is a different
part. So that one connects tothe heart, heart, brain, which you
know, three brain science,which is another fascinating piece
(13:34):
that one has to be dealt with.Very different. See, is that fascinating
though? Like each of thesedifferent pieces, neuroscience have
explained, you have to digthem in research articles, which
most people don't, but whathappens in there. And they play out
very differently. And we did astudy and we found in Our focus group
80% of people misdiagnosedwhat Stuck cycle. They're in and
(13:56):
they're like, yep, I know it.I'm just going to do this thing.
But it doesn't.
It's the wrong thing. This isreally good. And so what I want to
emphasize for listeners isthis. She's talking about stuck cycles
and she keeps using the wordneuroscience. And for many people
that's like, oh, crap, my eyesglazed over. I don't talk about this.
(14:18):
I know, it's fun. It's fun foryou and I enjoy it too. But people,
what I want you to understandin terms of understanding Dr. D's
work is she doesn't justidentify the problem. Okay, this
is a problem.
Right.
And you know what? It's reallycool. It does this weird path in
your brain and all that othercrap. She does that. But then the
(14:39):
outcome is like we talkedabout. If you're going to have doubt,
it only matters if you'regoing to give yourself back up, yield,
sign. But you give yourself adeadline. It's not doubt meaning
cancel. It's doubt for a dayor a week and then you hold to that.
And I have the sense thatevery one of these stuck cycles that
(15:00):
you identify doesn't stop withidentifying the name of the stuck
cycle and talking about thefancy. And fun. I agree, it's fun.
I read in the book that Iread. But the fun stuff, knowing
that happens in the brain. Butthen there's a set of practical behaviors
like I cut my fingernails thisway and that solves this stuck cycle.
(15:21):
Yes, it had nothing to do withfingernails, but there's a set of
metaphor.
There is, exactly. So it'skind of like, you know, I always
think of it, it's kind of likebeing a doctor, you can assess it,
but then you also want totreat it and treat the right one.
And as a coach that loves toexperience, experiment and see it
apply, apply and prove it,like, we're very results driven and
(15:44):
like this tool will help thatspecifically because we did the research,
we applied it. But you'reright, it's a path. It's like that
science helps us to understandthe mechanism and the coaching help
us to understand the path.That's what I think. It's, it's phenomenally
fascinating and it's allowspeople to get behind it, you know,
(16:07):
like really. Oh, okay, now Iunderstand. But I don't have to overthink
it. I just have to think,okay, that's why that wasn't working.
That's why just saying I'm apeople pleaser doesn't work. That
doesn't work at all. But it,what's happening in my brain is the
amygdala is. And I won't gointo data. I could go all over the
brain. What happens in thebrain and over commitment cycle is
(16:27):
very different than a burnoutcycle. So now I know what's happening
in here and I need to stop,stop it for this many reasons. And
this is how I do it.
I love your analogy of thedoctor because the doctor doesn't
just ask one question. I my,hey doc, I hurt. Okay, good. Here's
what you do. No, you gotta,you gotta say, well, where do you
(16:49):
hurt? How often is it on ascale of 1 to 10? I just am doing
some diagnosis two years ago,two and a half years ago now I did
some stuff in my back on theright side that's going to be permanent
because the discs are reallydeteriorated. And as I walk through
different possibilities oftreatment and get sent to this guy
and that guy, they're doingall kinds of this diagnosis. I'm
(17:10):
going to have a nerveconduction test and a few weeks and
this, that and the other. Butthe point is the diagnosis and I'm
not going to understand allthe words that they're saying. But
that diagnosis is what yousaid. It lets me then understand
what, which thing is happeningso that I don't take the wrong course
(17:32):
of action to fix it.
Exactly, exactly. Well said.And so often what people are doing
is just taking the wrongcourse of action because someone
said that's a good coursewithout first really researching
what's the diagnosis here.Just because at your colleague, that's
another entrepreneur or a highachiever, that's true for them, it
(17:53):
is not true for you. Just likeyou would do at a doctor, you would
ask for a second opinion. Whatelse, what else in that diagnosis?
And the same thing is truewhen you're trying to fix something.
It's not a one off you. It's acomplex system that you are continually
working with your coach touncover, hold accountability and
then challenge you to break acycle that for some people lasts,
(18:16):
you know, decades, months, buta lot of them, it's a long time.
So I, I had to dig into thisbecause I think it's really interesting,
the neuroscience I believe in,we know neuroplasticity and that's
the foundation of all humanchange and everything else. But the
nuances of why we're stuck orwhy we don't take the action we know
(18:39):
we could take, which isanother way to stay stuck, is varied.
And often we act like it's allthe same thing. Yeah, you're stuck.
Okay, you're stuck. Here'swhat to do. And we don't understand.
Is it what, what pastexperience has brought this? What
is your, you know, what iscausing this really? And we don't
ask enough questions like adoctor to figure out where this came
(19:02):
from. And what you're sayingis you have identified, I think you
said, five stuck cycles thatare different and that require different
approaches to be handledquickly and effectively instead of
just wandering all over the place.
Yeah, right. Or people say,just tell me the answer. You know,
that doesn't work, Callum,because that advice doesn't move
(19:24):
anything behaviorally orsubconscious. It's really them understanding
the path that what. What gotyou there. And then why is it returning?
Well, part of the reason itkeeps returning because now you have
made a neural path not only inyour. Your brain, but it affects
your heart and your gut brain.So all three of them work together
to work against you justbecause you didn't get the right
(19:48):
idea what is behind that.
Right, so this is the secondtime you've mentioned three brains.
And some people listening willknow that the head brain, heart brain
and gut brain. And each one ofthose areas has neurons just like
your head does and theycommunicate in that way. So the idea
that you receive intuition,inspiration and guidance from these
(20:09):
different places is real. It'snot some woo imagination crap because
they have similar structures.So talk a little bit about this and
how it relates to intuitiveguidance that people need to receive.
Because everything, especiallyin times that are changing as fast
as we are right now, intuitiveguidance is more important now than
(20:33):
it's ever been in theuniverse. So talk a little more about
that.
Well, so you already, youalready kind of clarified that there's
three. What happens is withpeople when they are in their rational
mind, there's a misalignment.So your heart, your heart brain can
have anywhere from 40 to70,000 neurons. The more you are
(20:53):
compassionate with yourselfand other people, that's what they
found out. Develop theseneurons and then what happens with
you is you, you exude that andplaces you go because you're building
rapport with people, right? Italso says, do I belong or not belong?
So some people can getmisaligned because of like, like,
(21:13):
let's say the, the peoplepleaser, their heart brain is usually
out of alignment becausethey're always wondering do I belong
or didn't belong? I need to doall this stuff to belong. It's always
a. A conditioned responseversus an Unconditional love. So
they, we would say that theirneurons are probably in the 40,000
(21:34):
versus that capacity of 70,000so that they're running with that
without aligning with the gut.The gut's only purpose, the gut brain
has the most neurons. It's thefastest reactor. So if you do not
feel safe, the gut will send aresponse upward. It's faster than
a brain going downward. So ifyou, let's say you're a people pleaser
(21:55):
and you lead with the heartbrain, you're not allowing them to
align before you make adecision. So alignment would be,
let me check, is this actuallya safe motion? If this person gave
me nothing or if I realize Icannot give myself anything, that
is a non safe motion. And youcould tell your gut that and it would
start aligning with the head.Okay. So that means let's not do
(22:19):
that set of boundaries. Soyour, your brain and your head brain
is all that it's supposed todo is forecast the rational, your
higher brain, which you'retalking about, the spiritual part.
Wisdom comes when those threeare aligned and you sit in that space
and it's no longer that youare trying to find something from
(22:40):
someone else. You're simplygifting what you have within. Right.
Because they're all, they'reall aligned. You're not trying to
fill something that doesn'tneed to be filled. That makes sense.
So when you're alive, you can listen.
At a higher level that, thatmakes perfect sense. And you know,
one other, another way tothink about that is listening. We
(23:03):
listen lots of different ways.We listen because we're trying to
argue. We listen because wepretend to listen because we don't
care. And really we'rethinking about something else.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? And welisten to respond, we listen to refute.
And what that alignedlistening allows us, if we're safe
in our own skin and we havenothing to prove, then we can just
(23:26):
listen. Allowing people to bewho they are and loving them anyway.
And we feel no lack of safetybecause we're not fearful that like
we're not enough or they'regoing to think bad. Like we don't
care about that.
Right.
Feeling of certainty occurswhen we have that kind of alignment.
That's.
Yeah.
(23:47):
How I heard what you said. Yeah.
And so you're listening. So areally cool trick is really, when
you're triggered like that,it's really to say I don't have to
figure everything out, I justhave to get quiet and listen and
ask what is my head thinking?What is my heart thinking and what
is my gut thinking? And itwill, it will say, well it's this
and if it's a feature fearbased response then that means you're
(24:10):
not trying to go out andcontrol the what other people doing.
You just bring compassion inand say if that wasn't true about
them or myself, what would be,what would be possible? I mean that's
a short version of what I dowith clients. But literally it's
just aligning those three tosay it's it, it's never the outside
world, it is always the innerlandscape that we get to work on
(24:33):
and that that creates that freedom.
So I love this conversationand I love the conversation about
that and we could have a wholeepisode on the three brains and their
alignment and things that youdo to start recognizing it. I'm willing
to bet that most people don'teven think of those things like the
word of three brain and thatthey have similar characteristics
(24:55):
with neurons and that there'sreal wisdom that comes from all three
of those places. Is true. Butwe're not going to go into that anymore
today because we got otherstuff to do and that would be a different
episode. But it's fascinatingand I let that go as far as it did
because I want you listenersto understand the depth of the truths
that she has alreadyresearched and knows and is available
(25:18):
to you to create your ultimatelife, to get your why to line your
actions up with your purpose.What I'd like to shift now is to
just another question. Youclearly have a wealth of expertise
and knowledge, skills andgifts. You also have a group of people,
(25:38):
entrepreneurs that you like toserve. You didn't, you didn't fall
up this mountain like nobodyfalls up a mountain. So what, what
happened in your life thatmade this important for you?
Let's see. Well, I'm not likemost people where they have one thing
(25:59):
that happens. I think it was avery, at a very young age a discernment
for things could be better andwhy are people not as successful
as they want to be or why arethey treating themselves that way?
When I started in leadership,that's when I really started realizing
(26:20):
there ha there leadership's askill and there are better ways to
do this. And it became soimportant because the leader has
such a responsibility ofthey're affecting everybody around
them on the way they lead. Andso people still get management leadership
confused. There's not, there'sa big difference. But I feel like
(26:42):
people have so little time onthe earth and they're not listening
to what is their purpose andpassion and staying in that. And
then what happens is we have asociety that's conditioned to buy
the next thing or look at thenext thing and control it. And that
will make you happy. And forme, that didn't seem to make sense.
(27:03):
And it does it now, knowingthe research. But I wanted to see
what is a way that we could bebetter to ourselves and to other
people and build that skillaround that. Because we only. I feel
like we just have a shortamount of time. And I probably what
really hit into it is you. Youwould know this though, Kellen is
(27:23):
when I we were. I was in my20s, I was on a men's soccer league
and we decided to climb avolcano that was active but should
have not been dangerous. Andyou do it at night so you can see
the. The flames. And here I'm20 something, it was a team and I'm
climbing up this. And I hadthis sense that, you know what? I
(27:44):
think this thing is going todo something. I just sensed it's
going to do something. And itstarted. I mean it really rumbled
and we started running down.And at that moment I'm like, this
could be a. This, thisexperience could be very short. Something
could happen. And then westarted seeing the lava. Luckily
(28:07):
went to the other side. But inthat moment I'm thinking I'm 20 that
we are not guaranteed along,you know, a life of longevity. We're
guaranteed to make the mostout of our life. I want to start
leading differently. Andthat's when I started getting interested
in studying leadership. I wantto not be in rumination mind. That's
(28:29):
when I started start studyingpsychology because I thought they
had the answers. They havesome answers, but that was pivotal.
I still remember being thereat night and you sit in that volcano
and it shakes in it neardeath. Like you literally know this
could be the last minute if wedon't get off this thing. And it
was for a few people. I thinkmost people made off. But it's those
(28:50):
moments that you're like,okay, one, there's something bigger
because it said let's leaveright now. And we told a whole bunch
of people leave. And two, whywaste your time in triggered or in.
In a mind that is ruminatingwhen there's so much access to what
(29:11):
so much more. Like you said,the bigger why. But we have to work
with our brain. And that's thelimiting factor for a lot of people.
So I am obsessed with how tounhook them from their own brain's
default zones. Right. And makethem understand the brilliance of
that brain.
So there's a lot unpack inthere. Yeah, we, we have a lot of
(29:34):
habitual behaviors. Most ofthem don't serve us. They're socialized
and taught to sometimesinnocently and sometimes maliciously
that allow that push us tobehave or not behave a certain way
to fit in. What you've said iswe have access through the three
brains, through the alignmentthrough intuition, through this higher
(29:57):
intelligence to so much more.And yet your heart was aching because
you see so many people wholive at one third power or in fear
or a lot less than they couldhave because they're not, they don't
realize the truth that we justyou just explained or they, they
hear them and they're notdoing anything with them. And so
(30:20):
that's led you to this interin the body, the neuroscience, et
cetera. But more thananything, coaching people to realize
they have that ability and toencourage and show them how to make
the most of it to create morelife. And that includes in fact the
bottom line. It includeschanging their leadership, their
money, their business growthand everything else. Because it's
(30:42):
really easy in these kind ofconversations get lost in the woo
woo land and think thateverything is about feeling good
and that money and business issome on some other different conversation
and it's not it's core to this conversation.
Yeah.
Is that, would you agree with that?
I would agree with thatbecause and this is the thing is
(31:04):
so many people are notlistening to a deeper level. So a
business, let's say if you'redoing that a business is a, an ecosystem
that you're creating and themore that you uncover your own stuff
and learn the skill ofuncovering it and you help people
around you. It's not the moneyis the bottom line is affected by
you. Oh there's an article2005 about a leader that uncovers
(31:30):
that and centers themselvesaround the purpose. It's the spiritual
leadership that's in youresearcher. But when you uncover
that and you help peoplearound you, your decision making
goes up more for the thebusiness. You have triple loop learning
for all your team. You have asynergy and they find a sense of
purpose there which if you,you know, you know this too. But
(31:53):
you're researching anything.We are in what's called an isolation
era which means people do notfeel a sense of belonging. So it
ties to business, your work,your personal work, your belief in
something bigger ties to theecosystem that you create in a business.
And that's what fascinates meis we can, we can make it such a
(32:14):
beautiful place by. And myniche is neuroscience because it's
just so natural for me. Butthere's other coaches that do it
other ways too. But thatecosystem is so powerful. When everybody
feels that thread ofcompassion and that sense of belonging,
now more than ever, they'regoing to need it. Right?
So they are. So let's turn nowto the most recent endeavor. We've
(32:37):
laid a great groundwork andframe about a lot of things you did.
You've just finished the bookand you have coming out pretty soon
and some material courseworkand everything that's centered around
another one of these emotionsthat we feel that has all kinds of
complicated effects in us. Andit's something that is affects us
(32:58):
all the time, every single dayin little ways and big ways. So tell
us about that.
Well, my book coming out isBalance the Hidden Power of Disappointment.
And that was a theme I heardso often. I wanted to see what is
the science behind it. Becausewe just say, well, y' all is disappointed,
(33:20):
but we don't realize. What Ilove about playing with that book
was is the first part. All Idid is research. What does it do?
Why does it so painful forpeople? Because you and I talked
about this. I just get sobothered and frustrated by disappointment.
Really makes me mad that I'mmad about disappointment. And so
(33:41):
right then it's so frustratingbecause like, oh, I'm disappointed
again. And in the narrative Iwas that way. I was wired as a kid
to be slightly disappointedbecause I thought the world could
look different. And in my headit looked so much different. And
then in my patients, I had solittle to create that. So it always
(34:01):
been a part of me, but itwasn't just me. Like you said, everybody
encounters it. What we do withit is very different. So when I put
the science, it affects the.Disappointment is a specific part
of the brain which we're notgoing to say because then they're
going to read the book. Butthere's a little mechanism just for
disappointment. And thatfloored me. I thought that is fantastic.
(34:23):
That's why it happens sooften. But it also affects our shame
area. It affects our guiltarea. It affects so many different
emotions. I felt it was soimportant that people understood
the science. And then we ofcourse were playing with coaching
tools, which is the middlepart. I created a four phase model
that unhooked people from it,made it more resilient. And you know,
(34:45):
the book is titled the HiddenPower. It's so powerful when you
see what, what disappointmentwas there to do, not to avoid or
not to just talk ithaphazardly, it actually can fire
certain mechanisms in us tobrilliance across our brain. That's
what is there to do. We justdidn't know that without the neuroscience
(35:09):
of it. So I, I'm like, this isa book I have to read or write because
I, it's just so frustrating asa person and as achiever that my
expectations are just notbeing met. And so the third part,
what we did is we put somecase studies in, but also how you
can apply it to your teens.And because when I find my clients
(35:33):
can talk about this andunderstand it, then it wasn't something
where they stopped takingrisks, they took more risks because
that's what risk aversion is.I don't want to feel that terrible
feeling. And the reason wefeel it so terribly because it hits
many different centers as wellas neuro, many neurotransmitters.
(35:53):
So it's such a, like a gutpunch is what some people say. I
feel like a gut punch. So whatI'm excited about the book is I find
disappointment at all, youknow, working on that in the last
few years, spending time withit as a coach, such a positive, powerful
tool. And so now I'm kind oflike, I don't. I even look forward
(36:15):
to disappointment because Iknow it can ignite something bigger
in me or the people around meas long as I know how to coach myself
through that. And so that iswhere the like you and I met. I'm
like, I have to write a book.I didn't know it was going to be
disappointed because I want toavoid it. But now more than ever,
(36:37):
my clients can't wait to getthe book because it is. If you're
an achiever and orentrepreneur or a coach, you're going
to hit it. It's unavoidable.So we shouldn't avoid it. We should
take more risk and, and playwith it and build a resilience around
it. So there were some studiesdone that actually saw that people
did certain techniques thatthey can build a resilience to access
(37:00):
this, you know, brightcreative brilliance in their brain.
So that is the project I'vebeen working on with you and then
it plays out. But it's supercool. I just fascinated with, Well,
I, I.
You know, I had the chance toread it and here's what I noticed
in reading it, that it isfollows exactly the pattern we talked
(37:24):
about about in the beginning.There is a feeling when our Expectations
don't match reality. Okay,that's a disappointment. It can be
anything from, I didn't wantit to snow today and it is. Okay.
And it didn't. It's supposedto. Maybe it did. I haven't been
(37:44):
outside for a while, but thatcan be a small disappointment. Or
it can be, I, I expected thisfor my birthday and I didn't get
it, or I expected this salesfunnel to do a certain thing and
it didn't. You know, all ofthose things are areas where your
expectations don't meet it.And what I found not just interesting
(38:07):
but useful and, and powerfulis what you said is disappointment
starts in one place and thenit had like tentacles. It spreads
out to shame. I should haveknown that was going to happen. Somehow
I'm bad. Or anger, I'mdisappointed. That idiot or those
idiots or the government orGod or whoever's to blame, they shouldn't
(38:30):
have done that. And so then ittriggers an anger response. And there
were three or four differentkinds. And that's just the first
piece. Again, like taking itapart. Stuck cycles. There are four
or five things that it mighttrigger. And then by understanding
that, it unlocks for me a setof behaviors that access that power
(38:55):
of growth. Because ultimatelywhat we're trying to do is turn disappointment
into some growth thing, notjust something to be avoided because
nobody likes how it feels tobe disappointed. And that's what
I found. Good, because youtook each one through to a set of
actions to understand itfirst, to deal with it, to remove
(39:16):
its destructive power and thento have it be a leverage point for
growth.
Yeah. And as we work withthat, we realize that you gave an
example. Some people getdisappointed with the weather there.
So there's people like highachievers. We know it takes a little
(39:36):
more to get them disappointed,but then they get stuck. So that
that plan is you can buildresiliency by doing those coaching
activities to the next level.So your risk level goes up, but it's
in a informed, optimistic way.Because now you're no longer trying
to avoid disappointment.You're leaning into it and you're
(39:59):
understanding. Okay, it's amechanism in my brain and if I access
that in a way that'smethodical or strategic, I will know.
This is kind of funny, youknow, this is amazing. It got triggered
and therefore, what do youthink I'm missing here? But it also
means then it will give you asense of urgency for finding something
new you wouldn't have found.So that is the cool thing about it.
(40:22):
Well, I love this because, youknow, we were talking about marketing
activities before we started.And the idea of, well, anybody's.
The idea of marketing is Iwant this to work. I'm afraid it
won't because I've beendisappointed before. And so instead
of diving in, we're like, oh,you know, I'm avoiding that sense
(40:46):
of disappointment. And this isso clear about how beneficial this
is. Because if I developresilience, I understand that this
is just disappointment and I'mgoing to do this, this, and this.
So then my willingness to takebigger, sensible, but bigger risk
is accelerated. Because I'mnot blindly saying I just want to
(41:07):
be disappointed again. We'resaying, I don't care. I'm going to
try this. And if I amdisappointed, I know what to do with
it. It's not a problem.
Yeah, yeah, well said. Right?It's no longer a mystery. It's just
a part of a process that youunderstand and walk through that.
And that's what thefascinating part. And we find that
the more people in thiscontext, the more your team can be
(41:31):
coached on that. They will,they will want to add input, they
will want to learn to learn,and they will want your business
to grow. That's what the coolthing we found out is if they uncovered
it and you guys talked aboutit and then put your data points.
So one thing that the booktalks about is we can measure data.
(41:51):
Let's say it was marketing andwe do this in our team is we measure
the data, not the suppositionor the assumption. What did the data
say? Is it working? Is it notworking? What's. Is it a pivot or
do we stay? And that's onething disappointment and understanding
the mechanism for can do. Itcan allow you to stay with something
(42:12):
a little longer. If it's goingto have Parisian versus what is.
It's called stacking. It'scalled disappointment. Stacking is
what they found out. Whatpeople will do is something will
go wrong. And you ever heardthat they'll say, then I shouldn't
have done this too, and theyshouldn't have done this. They stack
their disappointments insteadof excavating them. So now we have
(42:35):
a lineage of like a Christmastree lights inside our brain. And
it's all psych. Cyclicalversus, you know, I just want to
unplug that light so itdoesn't stack to the nest. The disappointment.
You're. You're starting to seethem. I found that it's very fascinating.
The tools say, let's cleanthat out so you're not Putting this
next light in this next slideand you're actually thinking, okay,
(42:56):
this is a separate place. Whatcan I transform? What, what is new
here versus most people whenthey. It's called a spiral. They
stack the disappointment andthen it becomes a spiral and they're
like, I'm paralyzed. I do notwant to do anything for it versus
find it. It's fascinatingthing that we have wired in a brain.
I mean it's brilliant thatstuck there in a little place in
(43:18):
our brain and has. It's amystery that we can solve now. And
it allows us so much movementand free freedom not only with the
tasks. So we talk about taskand business, but the relationships
in business. How many timespeople like that person disappointed
me because they didn't dothis? Right. That was disappointing
(43:39):
because they kept doing this.Now we know that if we unhook that,
we can have betterrelationships with people too because
we're seeing the data behindand not making a judgment call.
Which is that disappointmentstacking sounds like what happens
in a, in a personalrelationship when people stack one
thing. You know, you did thisand you said that and then they start
(44:01):
bringing back all these oldthings and then you end up with this
big stack of crap. Anyway, Iwant to ask you a question. I've
avoided asking until nowintentionally and because we've talked
about all this stuff in thebrain and a little bit of guts and
gut brain and spiritual stuff.Who are your clients?
So my clients are highachievers who they're working for
(44:24):
small giants, companies likethat. Well, or they may have come
from corporate, but they'rehigh achievers. Some of them are
coaches, most of them areentrepreneurs and I have some sold
marriage. All theentrepreneurs have the same thing
in common. They're stucksomewheres. They want to grow and
they don't want to be a toxicculture. They really want to invest
(44:48):
in their people. They justdon't know how. They didn't have
the formal leadership trainingand therefore they. They want to
expand. Expand incommunication, language, understanding
each other, and then systemsthat will help them be probably more
productive in that way.
So what are the sizes of thecompanies you have? You've told me
(45:10):
before you have an optimal size.
Yeah, I do love working withtwo different programs, but most
of our clients are about 5 to25, 30 million. Actually we have
someone.
You can stop there. The reasonI saved that till now is because
I want you listeners tounderstand 5 to 35 million. So these
(45:32):
are real companies with realproducts, real services that are
doing business in the world.And I said earlier, it ties to your
bottom line. And so all ofthis emotional and intellectual growth
that she's providing theseleaders is for the growth of real
companies with real people,teams with real bottom lines in the
real world, creating business.And saved that till now because I
(45:54):
wanted you to hear all of thelearning and then get rid of any
idea that you have. Well,that's nice, but it doesn't work
in the real world. It is inthe real world and I knew the answer,
but I saved it till nowbecause I wanted to make this point
anyway. Is there anything elseI didn't ask you that you were dying
to get here in the, in the conversation?
(46:16):
I love that question. I thinkyou, you are very provocative questioner.
So I think you askedeverything. I mean, it's something
I'd like to share. Like whenwe talked about Stock Cycles, there
is a free inventory that wehave. Just go to stockcycles.com
and it, it will assess so youstop kind of guessing what stuck
cycle you are on and that thenit leads to disappointment. But it's
(46:38):
a really cool inventory thatwill say this is where you're at
and these are a couple stepsyou can take. So stuck cycles.com
is our way to just get startedon movement.
Well, I was going to ask younext because people have heard this
and they're going to belooking forward for the book. And
what I want to know is wheredo people find you? Where will they
(46:58):
be able to tell? You know,check in that you're posting when
the book's coming soon andthey'll know and hear more of your
explanations and yourconversations. Where, where can people
go to find more of Dr. D. Yeah.
So our Instagram account isBlue Egg Leadership. We talked about
Stock cycles dot com. We haveblueeg leadership dot com that talks
(47:20):
about our programs, but italso posts where the book is at.
When's that coming out? Someof you, though, really like Instagram
and Facebook to to so justfollow us. You can track it down.
You'll see Blue Egg Leadershipand I'll say Dr. D coach there and
that will give you the latest.It also gives you little tidbits
(47:40):
of what we're talking about.Like this week it was doubt versus
discernment and how can youknow the difference? So it's an active
way to listen to some coachingand get to think about how it might
work in your life or change inyour life.
And the Blue Egg is real andit's very pretty. Sometime you'll
see it in one of the picturesThere's a blue egg and it's beautiful.
(48:01):
All right. Blue egg leadershipon instagram, Facebook and stuck
cycles.com. follow it and besure and take advantage of this.
The explanation that she gaveyou here of the neuroscience isn't
just interesting data points,it's empowering truths that let you
understand and then takecontrol of what's happening so you
(48:23):
can turn this stuff to yourgood Dr. D. Thanks for being here
today and sharing what youhave with us.
Thank you, Kellen, for doingall of this. Appreciate it.
You are welcome. So,listeners, look, you heard her brilliance,
you heard the truths about,and you probably recognize yourself
in two or three of thesethings at least. And that means you
(48:45):
can take advantage of this,because the whole point of the podcast
is to help you with the toolsand the teaching and the encouragement
and you can create whateveryou want. And the fact is, you have.
So if you don't like what yougot, that means there are new things
to learn and do. So you createsomething else. And all of that is
in service of creating yourultimate life. Go back and you'll
(49:10):
never ask why.
Open your heart.
And this time around, righthere, right now, your opportunity
for massive growth is right infront of you. Every episode gives
you practical tips andpractices that will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflukermedia.com if you want
(49:34):
want more free tools? Go here.Your ultimate life ca subscribe.
Stand with your heart in thesky and your feet on the ground.
Welcome to the show. Tired ofthe hype about living a dream? It's
time for truth. This is theplace for tools, power and real talk.
So you can create the life youdream and deserve your ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create. Youhave infinite power. Hello and welcome
(00:29):
to this episode of yourultimate life life, the podcast that
I created five and a half morethan that years ago to help people
live, not just talk about, butlive a life of purpose, prosperity
and joy. And to provide notjust the information, but the tools
and the examples and theencouragement to get to that place
(00:54):
because it is possible. TodayI'm blessed with a special guest.
Have Dr. Dee Poskas, Dr. D,,,whatever, Dr. D here with me as a
guest. Welcome to the show.
Thank you, Kellen. Thank you.It's wonderful to be here.
So I've known, I'm not goingto, I don't do intros, but I have
known Dr. D for many yearsnow. Not 17, 18, so five or six,
(01:17):
five or seven years, somethinglike that. Bunch of years. And have,
I'm grateful to that. And Iknow that she's a dedicated, powerful
coach and we're having her nowon specifically to talk about some
new program books and stuffthat she's done. And you'll get introduced
to her without some formalintro as we go along. I'd like to
(01:38):
ask first of all, what, whatis the way that you choose? Because
we all choose everything.Right. What is the way that Dr. D
chooses to add good to the world?
I think the most important wayis that I really try to use science
(02:03):
to help people to not takethemselves so personally and have
a better understanding howbrilliant they're wired. So they're
wired so brilliant in how touse that to move forward, to get
through things. So I like toadd that with also just a sense of
(02:26):
depth for them that they'reso, they're so complex, but they're
simple at the same time.
So that's, that's good andit's really interesting. So, so let's
dive in a little bit more on that.
Okay.
The you use science and tounravel the complexity or to help
explain the complexity. Likethere's a lot of woo, woo talk about
(02:50):
manifestation and all thatkind of stuff. And I don't not believe
it. It's just sometimes peoplecan't connect that to the bottom
line or their sales orwhatever. And so talk about this
science piece and I knowyou're, you have a PhD, so talk a
little bit about your approachto that.
Yeah. So my PhD is inleadership in human science. So it's
(03:13):
the study of how our behaviorsand our beliefs create our outcomes.
And more than that, of course,it's a study of every leadership
theory out there. But what I,I find really fascinating, that just
natural is to read about what,what's going on within us that determines
what we do on the outside. Sofor example, I love researching different
(03:37):
concepts that happen topeople, especially entrepreneurs
and high achievers, likedoubt. I'm researching doubt right
now. And what is that? Whathappens in our brain with doubt.
And there's this thing calledfalse flagging theory, which has
been out there. I didn'trealize it's been out there, but
it's taking that. And so somepeople try to reframe and either
(04:01):
like take doubt and let itbecome a manifestation or a part
of their belief system, orthey ignore it. So then there's impulsivity.
But through understandingscience, this false flagging theory,
it says that you can use doubtto help you, so it slows down your
impulsivity. It tells you towhat wisdom would be here. And it's
(04:25):
meant to be like a yield sign.Doubt is not a stop sign. So by helping
people to understand, likeeven that portion of doubt, that
little concept that you wantto have a fault, the more you have
a false tagging theory, itsays, let me look at this, let me
(04:45):
put objectivity and let me notpersonalize it. And then people are
more comfortable with doubt asan asset and instead of unknown.
And so that's what I like todo is I like to use science of uncovering
everything that they gothrough and seeing it for a viability
versus more of a detriment.
(05:09):
That's really, really aninteresting thing and I want to repeat
some of it back and make surethat I've understood this right.
So doubt, normally without anyanalysis or thinking, doubt makes
me go, would make somebody go,oh, I don't know, I don't know if
I should do that. I, I, yeah,I doubt that'll work. And we don't
(05:29):
do anything more than that.And so that puts us in a place of
dithering and not, not moving.Right? I'm, I'm dithering. Oh, I
don't know if I can finishthis song or I don't know if I can
do a performance or I don'tknow if I can, this investment will
work or whatever. And so thatputs us in a place of dithering and
from that place we don't doanything. So the answer is we've
(05:52):
Decided.
Yeah.
And the decision is always no.
Yeah.
And what you're telling me isif I. If I feel the doubt and I understand
something new, which is. Thisisn't. No, this is do a little more
research. Not as aprocrastination technique.
(06:13):
Right.
But as a. As a prudentactivity. And so what it occurs to
me, I'm going to test this andyou tell me if this is right or wrong.
Yeah. I'm going to do a littlemore research and I'm going to give
myself, you know, five days todo it. So I get five day. So without
(06:34):
that knowledge, I go, well,this means I don't know. And we know
for marketing, you know,confused people take no action. So
if I know this is just a yieldsign. You use that statement a minute
ago. Maybe it was before westarted recording. I don't know.
But it's a yield sign thatsays, hang on for a sec, and I'm
going to make a decision bythe end of the week. Then I can understand
(06:57):
that it didn't mean. No, itmeant maybe. And the maybe has a
deadline.
Yeah, well, well said. Becausewhat you said is what happens to
people is when they feeldoubt, they actually think what's
called hindsight bias. Itmeans, no, I don't. I doubt this.
So therefore I mean no. Orthey have no faults tagging, and
(07:21):
they're like, I'm gonna justdo it impulsively. But that was really
like. Like you said, it's totake a step back, utilize. It has
nothing to do with right orwrong. It's just your brain connecting.
This is something new. It isnot a state to stay in.
When you teach people aboutthis, do you tell them they need
(07:41):
to put a deadline on it sothat it doesn't turn into no, we
have to.
Otherwise it could be it leadsinto, you know. You know, talked
a little bit about my work.All my work goes back to, like, being
stuck. Like, what's thescience of being stuck? And so if
we do not put an externalfactor on it as a person. Right.
(08:03):
Then what will happen? Itbecomes a state. So literally, a
client or a person orachiever, any of us can stop moving
because we found evidence todoubt that. So it must mean I should
not keep moving. But if we sayinstead, and you and I talked about
this before we got in thepodcast, if we say instead, there's
(08:26):
doubt, but there's got to be abigger piece here. That means I pivot.
Doubt means I need either moreinformation or I pivot. But it doesn't
Mean it becomes a state. Andso you are measuring when's the next
time? Is it five days?
Yeah, it seems like. Seemslike the establishment of a decision
(08:51):
point. Yeah, it gives you. Isjust critical to understanding this
because you're right. Doubt byitself means no because it feels
uncomfortable, you know, andwhat it doesn't mean. No, what it
means is, hang on a sec. And asec is till the end of the day or
till the end of the week. Andwe have to finish the sentence in
(09:13):
our heads, in our sort ofcontext. Not now, but I'm going to
decide. I need to think aboutit for. Not forever, a day, two days.
Okay, we'll decide. And thatmeans not. I'm not deciding. So that's
really interesting. That's afabulous example of what you do.
And I hadn't heard you walkthrough that particular emotion or
(09:38):
feeling before, so that'sreally good. So tell me, how many
things are there like that? Sothere's the feeling of doubt. And
you said your box is thescience of being stuck. What does
stuck mean?
So stuck people say it. Andright now in marketing, if you look,
you will see a lot of things.You're in your business stuck, you
(10:01):
know, and the marketing thingis stuck. Well, that actually we
were researching the lastcouple of years. It. It's a. What
people feel, but they don'trealize. It's a psychological state
that they put their brain intheir heart, you know, in. So you're
stuck in different ways. So itmeans you don't. One area of stuck
(10:22):
people psychologically burnedout. That's one area. They are burned
out because they don't. Haveyou talked about this? The why? The
sense of purpose. They'rerunning from one thing to the next
thing without discernment.They're. They're literally impulsively
overworking themselves so thatfor them we have an inventory and
(10:43):
they actually can assess whichof the stock cycles they're in. But
they're more. They're more.They're more than one. There's like
five of them. So that personis dealing with life in a way that
they're keeping busyness as asign for moving forward. I'm just
going to keep busy. They'renot aware of that. They wouldn't
(11:03):
say that necessarily, but thatis a true stuck cycle, and so they
can avoid it.
I want to interrupt you therebecause it's so interesting. See,
I haven't been with you. Youtalked. You've mentioned the five
stuck cycles before in otherconversations we've had, but I haven't
been with you through these.And so when you say that about burnout,
(11:24):
what it feels like to me is,okay, I'm not making the progress
I want. I have the idea thatbusy is in badge of honor. I don't
know what I'm doing. I'm justgoing to keep going and pretty soon
I'm just stuck. And thestuckness is I'm so overwhelmed by
this mass of things that Icould do. They're not parsed or organized.
(11:46):
And so this. It's not that.Yeah, so that's a very interesting
overwhelm, overwhelmed, stuck.
Cool, isn't that? Yeah. Andthat's what's so cool. What I love
about the neuroscience pieceis it, it tells us what's happening
within and makes when peoplehear that, they're like, okay, so
(12:06):
they're instead of just sayingyou're stuck, we can actually assess
what area of stuck. And thenonce you know the stuck and you know,
if you don't deal with it likethat stuck cycle, a burnout is different
than like a decision paralysisstuck cycle. Right. One needs a system,
the other needs a flowchart.You know, there's two different things,
(12:30):
but so people just genericallysay stuck cycle or we're stuck. But
it's a very true thing. It's,it's a psychology of state that can
last. There are people thatwill have a stuck cycle for a year,
two years, a stagnant suckcycle. And it could be one area of
their life. It could be thisparticular area in business. But
(12:52):
there are people that have astuck cycle throughout their whole
life. Like the stuck cycle ofover commitment. There are people
that say, and they'll tell youthat in the rational mind, they'll
say, yes, I, I'm a peoplepleaser. I keep people pleasing with
no intent of changing it.Right. They know it. The rational
mind fakes them out thatthey're doing something because they
(13:13):
talked about it. But that's avery serious stuck cycle. When you're
over committing continuallyfor the hope that somebody would
recognize you, realize you andacknowledge you, that is a different
part. So that one connects tothe heart, heart, brain, which you
know, three brain science,which is another fascinating piece
(13:34):
that one has to be dealt with.Very different. See, is that fascinating
though? Like each of thesedifferent pieces, neuroscience have
explained, you have to digthem in research articles, which
most people don't, but whathappens in there. And they play out
very differently. And we did astudy and we found in Our focus group
80% of people misdiagnosedwhat Stuck cycle. They're in and
(13:56):
they're like, yep, I know it.I'm just going to do this thing.
But it doesn't.
It's the wrong thing. This isreally good. And so what I want to
emphasize for listeners isthis. She's talking about stuck cycles
and she keeps using the wordneuroscience. And for many people
that's like, oh, crap, my eyesglazed over. I don't talk about this.
(14:18):
I know, it's fun. It's fun foryou and I enjoy it too. But people,
what I want you to understandin terms of understanding Dr. D's
work is she doesn't justidentify the problem. Okay, this
is a problem.
Right.
And you know what? It's reallycool. It does this weird path in
your brain and all that othercrap. She does that. But then the
(14:39):
outcome is like we talkedabout. If you're going to have doubt,
it only matters if you'regoing to give yourself back up, yield,
sign. But you give yourself adeadline. It's not doubt meaning
cancel. It's doubt for a dayor a week and then you hold to that.
And I have the sense thatevery one of these stuck cycles that
(15:00):
you identify doesn't stop withidentifying the name of the stuck
cycle and talking about thefancy. And fun. I agree, it's fun.
I read in the book that Iread. But the fun stuff, knowing
that happens in the brain. Butthen there's a set of practical behaviors
like I cut my fingernails thisway and that solves this stuck cycle.
(15:21):
Yes, it had nothing to do withfingernails, but there's a set of
metaphor.
There is, exactly. So it'skind of like, you know, I always
think of it, it's kind of likebeing a doctor, you can assess it,
but then you also want totreat it and treat the right one.
And as a coach that loves toexperience, experiment and see it
apply, apply and prove it,like, we're very results driven and
(15:44):
like this tool will help thatspecifically because we did the research,
we applied it. But you'reright, it's a path. It's like that
science helps us to understandthe mechanism and the coaching help
us to understand the path.That's what I think. It's, it's phenomenally
fascinating and it's allowspeople to get behind it, you know,
(16:07):
like really. Oh, okay, now Iunderstand. But I don't have to overthink
it. I just have to think,okay, that's why that wasn't working.
That's why just saying I'm apeople pleaser doesn't work. That
doesn't work at all. But it,what's happening in my brain is the
amygdala is. And I won't gointo data. I could go all over the
brain. What happens in thebrain and over commitment cycle is
(16:27):
very different than a burnoutcycle. So now I know what's happening
in here and I need to stop,stop it for this many reasons. And
this is how I do it.
I love your analogy of thedoctor because the doctor doesn't
just ask one question. I my,hey doc, I hurt. Okay, good. Here's
what you do. No, you gotta,you gotta say, well, where do you
(16:49):
hurt? How often is it on ascale of 1 to 10? I just am doing
some diagnosis two years ago,two and a half years ago now I did
some stuff in my back on theright side that's going to be permanent
because the discs are reallydeteriorated. And as I walk through
different possibilities oftreatment and get sent to this guy
and that guy, they're doingall kinds of this diagnosis. I'm
(17:10):
going to have a nerveconduction test and a few weeks and
this, that and the other. Butthe point is the diagnosis and I'm
not going to understand allthe words that they're saying. But
that diagnosis is what yousaid. It lets me then understand
what, which thing is happeningso that I don't take the wrong course
(17:32):
of action to fix it.
Exactly, exactly. Well said.And so often what people are doing
is just taking the wrongcourse of action because someone
said that's a good coursewithout first really researching
what's the diagnosis here.Just because at your colleague, that's
another entrepreneur or a highachiever, that's true for them, it
(17:53):
is not true for you. Just likeyou would do at a doctor, you would
ask for a second opinion. Whatelse, what else in that diagnosis?
And the same thing is truewhen you're trying to fix something.
It's not a one off you. It's acomplex system that you are continually
working with your coach touncover, hold accountability and
then challenge you to break acycle that for some people lasts,
(18:16):
you know, decades, months, buta lot of them, it's a long time.
So I, I had to dig into thisbecause I think it's really interesting,
the neuroscience I believe in,we know neuroplasticity and that's
the foundation of all humanchange and everything else. But the
nuances of why we're stuck orwhy we don't take the action we know
(18:39):
we could take, which isanother way to stay stuck, is varied.
And often we act like it's allthe same thing. Yeah, you're stuck.
Okay, you're stuck. Here'swhat to do. And we don't understand.
Is it what, what pastexperience has brought this? What
is your, you know, what iscausing this really? And we don't
ask enough questions like adoctor to figure out where this came
(19:02):
from. And what you're sayingis you have identified, I think you
said, five stuck cycles thatare different and that require different
approaches to be handledquickly and effectively instead of
just wandering all over the place.
Yeah, right. Or people say,just tell me the answer. You know,
that doesn't work, Callum,because that advice doesn't move
(19:24):
anything behaviorally orsubconscious. It's really them understanding
the path that what. What gotyou there. And then why is it returning?
Well, part of the reason itkeeps returning because now you have
made a neural path not only inyour. Your brain, but it affects
your heart and your gut brain.So all three of them work together
to work against you justbecause you didn't get the right
(19:48):
idea what is behind that.
Right, so this is the secondtime you've mentioned three brains.
And some people listening willknow that the head brain, heart brain
and gut brain. And each one ofthose areas has neurons just like
your head does and theycommunicate in that way. So the idea
that you receive intuition,inspiration and guidance from these
(20:09):
different places is real. It'snot some woo imagination crap because
they have similar structures.So talk a little bit about this and
how it relates to intuitiveguidance that people need to receive.
Because everything, especiallyin times that are changing as fast
as we are right now, intuitiveguidance is more important now than
(20:33):
it's ever been in theuniverse. So talk a little more about
that.
Well, so you already, youalready kind of clarified that there's
three. What happens is withpeople when they are in their rational
mind, there's a misalignment.So your heart, your heart brain can
have anywhere from 40 to70,000 neurons. The more you are
(20:53):
compassionate with yourselfand other people, that's what they
found out. Develop theseneurons and then what happens with
you is you, you exude that andplaces you go because you're building
rapport with people, right? Italso says, do I belong or not belong?
So some people can getmisaligned because of like, like,
(21:13):
let's say the, the peoplepleaser, their heart brain is usually
out of alignment becausethey're always wondering do I belong
or didn't belong? I need to doall this stuff to belong. It's always
a. A conditioned responseversus an Unconditional love. So
they, we would say that theirneurons are probably in the 40,000
(21:34):
versus that capacity of 70,000so that they're running with that
without aligning with the gut.The gut's only purpose, the gut brain
has the most neurons. It's thefastest reactor. So if you do not
feel safe, the gut will send aresponse upward. It's faster than
a brain going downward. So ifyou, let's say you're a people pleaser
(21:55):
and you lead with the heartbrain, you're not allowing them to
align before you make adecision. So alignment would be,
let me check, is this actuallya safe motion? If this person gave
me nothing or if I realize Icannot give myself anything, that
is a non safe motion. And youcould tell your gut that and it would
start aligning with the head.Okay. So that means let's not do
(22:19):
that set of boundaries. Soyour, your brain and your head brain
is all that it's supposed todo is forecast the rational, your
higher brain, which you'retalking about, the spiritual part.
Wisdom comes when those threeare aligned and you sit in that space
and it's no longer that youare trying to find something from
(22:40):
someone else. You're simplygifting what you have within. Right.
Because they're all, they'reall aligned. You're not trying to
fill something that doesn'tneed to be filled. That makes sense.
So when you're alive, you can listen.
At a higher level that, thatmakes perfect sense. And you know,
one other, another way tothink about that is listening. We
(23:03):
listen lots of different ways.We listen because we're trying to
argue. We listen because wepretend to listen because we don't
care. And really we'rethinking about something else.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? And welisten to respond, we listen to refute.
And what that alignedlistening allows us, if we're safe
in our own skin and we havenothing to prove, then we can just
(23:26):
listen. Allowing people to bewho they are and loving them anyway.
And we feel no lack of safetybecause we're not fearful that like
we're not enough or they'regoing to think bad. Like we don't
care about that.
Right.
Feeling of certainty occurswhen we have that kind of alignment.
That's.
Yeah.
(23:47):
How I heard what you said. Yeah.
And so you're listening. So areally cool trick is really, when
you're triggered like that,it's really to say I don't have to
figure everything out, I justhave to get quiet and listen and
ask what is my head thinking?What is my heart thinking and what
is my gut thinking? And itwill, it will say, well it's this
and if it's a feature fearbased response then that means you're
(24:10):
not trying to go out andcontrol the what other people doing.
You just bring compassion inand say if that wasn't true about
them or myself, what would be,what would be possible? I mean that's
a short version of what I dowith clients. But literally it's
just aligning those three tosay it's it, it's never the outside
world, it is always the innerlandscape that we get to work on
(24:33):
and that that creates that freedom.
So I love this conversationand I love the conversation about
that and we could have a wholeepisode on the three brains and their
alignment and things that youdo to start recognizing it. I'm willing
to bet that most people don'teven think of those things like the
word of three brain and thatthey have similar characteristics
(24:55):
with neurons and that there'sreal wisdom that comes from all three
of those places. Is true. Butwe're not going to go into that anymore
today because we got otherstuff to do and that would be a different
episode. But it's fascinatingand I let that go as far as it did
because I want you listenersto understand the depth of the truths
that she has alreadyresearched and knows and is available
(25:18):
to you to create your ultimatelife, to get your why to line your
actions up with your purpose.What I'd like to shift now is to
just another question. Youclearly have a wealth of expertise
and knowledge, skills andgifts. You also have a group of people,
(25:38):
entrepreneurs that you like toserve. You didn't, you didn't fall
up this mountain like nobodyfalls up a mountain. So what, what
happened in your life thatmade this important for you?
Let's see. Well, I'm not likemost people where they have one thing
(25:59):
that happens. I think it was avery, at a very young age a discernment
for things could be better andwhy are people not as successful
as they want to be or why arethey treating themselves that way?
When I started in leadership,that's when I really started realizing
(26:20):
there ha there leadership's askill and there are better ways to
do this. And it became soimportant because the leader has
such a responsibility ofthey're affecting everybody around
them on the way they lead. Andso people still get management leadership
confused. There's not, there'sa big difference. But I feel like
(26:42):
people have so little time onthe earth and they're not listening
to what is their purpose andpassion and staying in that. And
then what happens is we have asociety that's conditioned to buy
the next thing or look at thenext thing and control it. And that
will make you happy. And forme, that didn't seem to make sense.
(27:03):
And it does it now, knowingthe research. But I wanted to see
what is a way that we could bebetter to ourselves and to other
people and build that skillaround that. Because we only. I feel
like we just have a shortamount of time. And I probably what
really hit into it is you. Youwould know this though, Kellen is
(27:23):
when I we were. I was in my20s, I was on a men's soccer league
and we decided to climb avolcano that was active but should
have not been dangerous. Andyou do it at night so you can see
the. The flames. And here I'm20 something, it was a team and I'm
climbing up this. And I hadthis sense that, you know what? I
(27:44):
think this thing is going todo something. I just sensed it's
going to do something. And itstarted. I mean it really rumbled
and we started running down.And at that moment I'm like, this
could be a. This, thisexperience could be very short. Something
could happen. And then westarted seeing the lava. Luckily
(28:07):
went to the other side. But inthat moment I'm thinking I'm 20 that
we are not guaranteed along,you know, a life of longevity. We're
guaranteed to make the mostout of our life. I want to start
leading differently. Andthat's when I started getting interested
in studying leadership. I wantto not be in rumination mind. That's
(28:29):
when I started start studyingpsychology because I thought they
had the answers. They havesome answers, but that was pivotal.
I still remember being thereat night and you sit in that volcano
and it shakes in it neardeath. Like you literally know this
could be the last minute if wedon't get off this thing. And it
was for a few people. I thinkmost people made off. But it's those
(28:50):
moments that you're like,okay, one, there's something bigger
because it said let's leaveright now. And we told a whole bunch
of people leave. And two, whywaste your time in triggered or in.
In a mind that is ruminatingwhen there's so much access to what
(29:11):
so much more. Like you said,the bigger why. But we have to work
with our brain. And that's thelimiting factor for a lot of people.
So I am obsessed with how tounhook them from their own brain's
default zones. Right. And makethem understand the brilliance of
that brain.
So there's a lot unpack inthere. Yeah, we, we have a lot of
(29:34):
habitual behaviors. Most ofthem don't serve us. They're socialized
and taught to sometimesinnocently and sometimes maliciously
that allow that push us tobehave or not behave a certain way
to fit in. What you've said iswe have access through the three
brains, through the alignmentthrough intuition, through this higher
(29:57):
intelligence to so much more.And yet your heart was aching because
you see so many people wholive at one third power or in fear
or a lot less than they couldhave because they're not, they don't
realize the truth that we justyou just explained or they, they
hear them and they're notdoing anything with them. And so
(30:20):
that's led you to this interin the body, the neuroscience, et
cetera. But more thananything, coaching people to realize
they have that ability and toencourage and show them how to make
the most of it to create morelife. And that includes in fact the
bottom line. It includeschanging their leadership, their
money, their business growthand everything else. Because it's
(30:42):
really easy in these kind ofconversations get lost in the woo
woo land and think thateverything is about feeling good
and that money and business issome on some other different conversation
and it's not it's core to this conversation.
Yeah.
Is that, would you agree with that?
I would agree with thatbecause and this is the thing is
(31:04):
so many people are notlistening to a deeper level. So a
business, let's say if you'redoing that a business is a, an ecosystem
that you're creating and themore that you uncover your own stuff
and learn the skill ofuncovering it and you help people
around you. It's not the moneyis the bottom line is affected by
you. Oh there's an article2005 about a leader that uncovers
(31:30):
that and centers themselvesaround the purpose. It's the spiritual
leadership that's in youresearcher. But when you uncover
that and you help peoplearound you, your decision making
goes up more for the thebusiness. You have triple loop learning
for all your team. You have asynergy and they find a sense of
purpose there which if you,you know, you know this too. But
(31:53):
you're researching anything.We are in what's called an isolation
era which means people do notfeel a sense of belonging. So it
ties to business, your work,your personal work, your belief in
something bigger ties to theecosystem that you create in a business.
And that's what fascinates meis we can, we can make it such a
(32:14):
beautiful place by. And myniche is neuroscience because it's
just so natural for me. Butthere's other coaches that do it
other ways too. But thatecosystem is so powerful. When everybody
feels that thread ofcompassion and that sense of belonging,
now more than ever, they'regoing to need it. Right?
So they are. So let's turn nowto the most recent endeavor. We've
(32:37):
laid a great groundwork andframe about a lot of things you did.
You've just finished the bookand you have coming out pretty soon
and some material courseworkand everything that's centered around
another one of these emotionsthat we feel that has all kinds of
complicated effects in us. Andit's something that is affects us
(32:58):
all the time, every single dayin little ways and big ways. So tell
us about that.
Well, my book coming out isBalance the Hidden Power of Disappointment.
And that was a theme I heardso often. I wanted to see what is
the science behind it. Becausewe just say, well, y' all is disappointed,
(33:20):
but we don't realize. What Ilove about playing with that book
was is the first part. All Idid is research. What does it do?
Why does it so painful forpeople? Because you and I talked
about this. I just get sobothered and frustrated by disappointment.
Really makes me mad that I'mmad about disappointment. And so
(33:41):
right then it's so frustratingbecause like, oh, I'm disappointed
again. And in the narrative Iwas that way. I was wired as a kid
to be slightly disappointedbecause I thought the world could
look different. And in my headit looked so much different. And
then in my patients, I had solittle to create that. So it always
(34:01):
been a part of me, but itwasn't just me. Like you said, everybody
encounters it. What we do withit is very different. So when I put
the science, it affects the.Disappointment is a specific part
of the brain which we're notgoing to say because then they're
going to read the book. Butthere's a little mechanism just for
disappointment. And thatfloored me. I thought that is fantastic.
(34:23):
That's why it happens sooften. But it also affects our shame
area. It affects our guiltarea. It affects so many different
emotions. I felt it was soimportant that people understood
the science. And then we ofcourse were playing with coaching
tools, which is the middlepart. I created a four phase model
that unhooked people from it,made it more resilient. And you know,
(34:45):
the book is titled the HiddenPower. It's so powerful when you
see what, what disappointmentwas there to do, not to avoid or
not to just talk ithaphazardly, it actually can fire
certain mechanisms in us tobrilliance across our brain. That's
what is there to do. We justdidn't know that without the neuroscience
(35:09):
of it. So I, I'm like, this isa book I have to read or write because
I, it's just so frustrating asa person and as achiever that my
expectations are just notbeing met. And so the third part,
what we did is we put somecase studies in, but also how you
can apply it to your teens.And because when I find my clients
(35:33):
can talk about this andunderstand it, then it wasn't something
where they stopped takingrisks, they took more risks because
that's what risk aversion is.I don't want to feel that terrible
feeling. And the reason wefeel it so terribly because it hits
many different centers as wellas neuro, many neurotransmitters.
(35:53):
So it's such a, like a gutpunch is what some people say. I
feel like a gut punch. So whatI'm excited about the book is I find
disappointment at all, youknow, working on that in the last
few years, spending time withit as a coach, such a positive, powerful
tool. And so now I'm kind oflike, I don't. I even look forward
(36:15):
to disappointment because Iknow it can ignite something bigger
in me or the people around meas long as I know how to coach myself
through that. And so that iswhere the like you and I met. I'm
like, I have to write a book.I didn't know it was going to be
disappointed because I want toavoid it. But now more than ever,
(36:37):
my clients can't wait to getthe book because it is. If you're
an achiever and orentrepreneur or a coach, you're going
to hit it. It's unavoidable.So we shouldn't avoid it. We should
take more risk and, and playwith it and build a resilience around
it. So there were some studiesdone that actually saw that people
did certain techniques thatthey can build a resilience to access
(37:00):
this, you know, brightcreative brilliance in their brain.
So that is the project I'vebeen working on with you and then
it plays out. But it's supercool. I just fascinated with, Well,
I, I.
You know, I had the chance toread it and here's what I noticed
in reading it, that it isfollows exactly the pattern we talked
(37:24):
about about in the beginning.There is a feeling when our Expectations
don't match reality. Okay,that's a disappointment. It can be
anything from, I didn't wantit to snow today and it is. Okay.
And it didn't. It's supposedto. Maybe it did. I haven't been
(37:44):
outside for a while, but thatcan be a small disappointment. Or
it can be, I, I expected thisfor my birthday and I didn't get
it, or I expected this salesfunnel to do a certain thing and
it didn't. You know, all ofthose things are areas where your
expectations don't meet it.And what I found not just interesting
(38:07):
but useful and, and powerfulis what you said is disappointment
starts in one place and thenit had like tentacles. It spreads
out to shame. I should haveknown that was going to happen. Somehow
I'm bad. Or anger, I'mdisappointed. That idiot or those
idiots or the government orGod or whoever's to blame, they shouldn't
(38:30):
have done that. And so then ittriggers an anger response. And there
were three or four differentkinds. And that's just the first
piece. Again, like taking itapart. Stuck cycles. There are four
or five things that it mighttrigger. And then by understanding
that, it unlocks for me a setof behaviors that access that power
(38:55):
of growth. Because ultimatelywhat we're trying to do is turn disappointment
into some growth thing, notjust something to be avoided because
nobody likes how it feels tobe disappointed. And that's what
I found. Good, because youtook each one through to a set of
actions to understand itfirst, to deal with it, to remove
(39:16):
its destructive power and thento have it be a leverage point for
growth.
Yeah. And as we work withthat, we realize that you gave an
example. Some people getdisappointed with the weather there.
So there's people like highachievers. We know it takes a little
(39:36):
more to get them disappointed,but then they get stuck. So that
that plan is you can buildresiliency by doing those coaching
activities to the next level.So your risk level goes up, but it's
in a informed, optimistic way.Because now you're no longer trying
to avoid disappointment.You're leaning into it and you're
(39:59):
understanding. Okay, it's amechanism in my brain and if I access
that in a way that'smethodical or strategic, I will know.
This is kind of funny, youknow, this is amazing. It got triggered
and therefore, what do youthink I'm missing here? But it also
means then it will give you asense of urgency for finding something
new you wouldn't have found.So that is the cool thing about it.
(40:22):
Well, I love this because, youknow, we were talking about marketing
activities before we started.And the idea of, well, anybody's.
The idea of marketing is Iwant this to work. I'm afraid it
won't because I've beendisappointed before. And so instead
of diving in, we're like, oh,you know, I'm avoiding that sense
(40:46):
of disappointment. And this isso clear about how beneficial this
is. Because if I developresilience, I understand that this
is just disappointment and I'mgoing to do this, this, and this.
So then my willingness to takebigger, sensible, but bigger risk
is accelerated. Because I'mnot blindly saying I just want to
(41:07):
be disappointed again. We'resaying, I don't care. I'm going to
try this. And if I amdisappointed, I know what to do with
it. It's not a problem.
Yeah, yeah, well said. Right?It's no longer a mystery. It's just
a part of a process that youunderstand and walk through that.
And that's what thefascinating part. And we find that
the more people in thiscontext, the more your team can be
(41:31):
coached on that. They will,they will want to add input, they
will want to learn to learn,and they will want your business
to grow. That's what the coolthing we found out is if they uncovered
it and you guys talked aboutit and then put your data points.
So one thing that the booktalks about is we can measure data.
(41:51):
Let's say it was marketing andwe do this in our team is we measure
the data, not the suppositionor the assumption. What did the data
say? Is it working? Is it notworking? What's. Is it a pivot or
do we stay? And that's onething disappointment and understanding
the mechanism for can do. Itcan allow you to stay with something
(42:12):
a little longer. If it's goingto have Parisian versus what is.
It's called stacking. It'scalled disappointment. Stacking is
what they found out. Whatpeople will do is something will
go wrong. And you ever heardthat they'll say, then I shouldn't
have done this too, and theyshouldn't have done this. They stack
their disappointments insteadof excavating them. So now we have
(42:35):
a lineage of like a Christmastree lights inside our brain. And
it's all psych. Cyclicalversus, you know, I just want to
unplug that light so itdoesn't stack to the nest. The disappointment.
You're. You're starting to seethem. I found that it's very fascinating.
The tools say, let's cleanthat out so you're not Putting this
next light in this next slideand you're actually thinking, okay,
(42:56):
this is a separate place. Whatcan I transform? What, what is new
here versus most people whenthey. It's called a spiral. They
stack the disappointment andthen it becomes a spiral and they're
like, I'm paralyzed. I do notwant to do anything for it versus
find it. It's fascinatingthing that we have wired in a brain.
I mean it's brilliant thatstuck there in a little place in
(43:18):
our brain and has. It's amystery that we can solve now. And
it allows us so much movementand free freedom not only with the
tasks. So we talk about taskand business, but the relationships
in business. How many timespeople like that person disappointed
me because they didn't dothis? Right. That was disappointing
(43:39):
because they kept doing this.Now we know that if we unhook that,
we can have betterrelationships with people too because
we're seeing the data behindand not making a judgment call.
Which is that disappointmentstacking sounds like what happens
in a, in a personalrelationship when people stack one
thing. You know, you did thisand you said that and then they start
(44:01):
bringing back all these oldthings and then you end up with this
big stack of crap. Anyway, Iwant to ask you a question. I've
avoided asking until nowintentionally and because we've talked
about all this stuff in thebrain and a little bit of guts and
gut brain and spiritual stuff.Who are your clients?
So my clients are highachievers who they're working for
(44:24):
small giants, companies likethat. Well, or they may have come
from corporate, but they'rehigh achievers. Some of them are
coaches, most of them areentrepreneurs and I have some sold
marriage. All theentrepreneurs have the same thing
in common. They're stucksomewheres. They want to grow and
they don't want to be a toxicculture. They really want to invest
(44:48):
in their people. They justdon't know how. They didn't have
the formal leadership trainingand therefore they. They want to
expand. Expand incommunication, language, understanding
each other, and then systemsthat will help them be probably more
productive in that way.
So what are the sizes of thecompanies you have? You've told me
(45:10):
before you have an optimal size.
Yeah, I do love working withtwo different programs, but most
of our clients are about 5 to25, 30 million. Actually we have
someone.
You can stop there. The reasonI saved that till now is because
I want you listeners tounderstand 5 to 35 million. So these
(45:32):
are real companies with realproducts, real services that are
doing business in the world.And I said earlier, it ties to your
bottom line. And so all ofthis emotional and intellectual growth
that she's providing theseleaders is for the growth of real
companies with real people,teams with real bottom lines in the
real world, creating business.And saved that till now because I
(45:54):
wanted you to hear all of thelearning and then get rid of any
idea that you have. Well,that's nice, but it doesn't work
in the real world. It is inthe real world and I knew the answer,
but I saved it till nowbecause I wanted to make this point
anyway. Is there anything elseI didn't ask you that you were dying
to get here in the, in the conversation?
(46:16):
I love that question. I thinkyou, you are very provocative questioner.
So I think you askedeverything. I mean, it's something
I'd like to share. Like whenwe talked about Stock Cycles, there
is a free inventory that wehave. Just go to stockcycles.com
and it, it will assess so youstop kind of guessing what stuck
cycle you are on and that thenit leads to disappointment. But it's
(46:38):
a really cool inventory thatwill say this is where you're at
and these are a couple stepsyou can take. So stuck cycles.com
is our way to just get startedon movement.
Well, I was going to ask younext because people have heard this
and they're going to belooking forward for the book. And
what I want to know is wheredo people find you? Where will they
(46:58):
be able to tell? You know,check in that you're posting when
the book's coming soon andthey'll know and hear more of your
explanations and yourconversations. Where, where can people
go to find more of Dr. D. Yeah.
So our Instagram account isBlue Egg Leadership. We talked about
Stock cycles dot com. We haveblueeg leadership dot com that talks
(47:20):
about our programs, but italso posts where the book is at.
When's that coming out? Someof you, though, really like Instagram
and Facebook to to so justfollow us. You can track it down.
You'll see Blue Egg Leadershipand I'll say Dr. D coach there and
that will give you the latest.It also gives you little tidbits
(47:40):
of what we're talking about.Like this week it was doubt versus
discernment and how can youknow the difference? So it's an active
way to listen to some coachingand get to think about how it might
work in your life or change inyour life.
And the Blue Egg is real andit's very pretty. Sometime you'll
see it in one of the picturesThere's a blue egg and it's beautiful.
(48:01):
All right. Blue egg leadershipon instagram, Facebook and stuck
cycles.com. follow it and besure and take advantage of this.
The explanation that she gaveyou here of the neuroscience isn't
just interesting data points,it's empowering truths that let you
understand and then takecontrol of what's happening so you
(48:23):
can turn this stuff to yourgood Dr. D. Thanks for being here
today and sharing what youhave with us.
Thank you, Kellen, for doingall of this. Appreciate it.
You are welcome. So,listeners, look, you heard her brilliance,
you heard the truths about,and you probably recognize yourself
in two or three of thesethings at least. And that means you
(48:45):
can take advantage of this,because the whole point of the podcast
is to help you with the toolsand the teaching and the encouragement
and you can create whateveryou want. And the fact is, you have.
So if you don't like what yougot, that means there are new things
to learn and do. So you createsomething else. And all of that is
in service of creating yourultimate life. Go back and you'll
(49:10):
never ask why.
Open your heart.
And this time around, righthere, right now, your opportunity
for massive growth is right infront of you. Every episode gives
you practical tips andpractices that will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflukermedia.com if you want
(49:34):
want more free tools? Go here.Your ultimate life ca subscribe.
Stand with your heart in thesky and your feet on the ground.
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