May 2, 2025 • 36 mins
What if failure isn’t the enemy... but your greatest ally?
In this raw and powerful solo episode, Kellan Fluckiger reveals why failure isn’t something to avoid—it’s the very fuel of your transformation. Whether you're building a business, chasing a dream, or simply trying to live a more authentic life, this conversation will help you reframe failure, reclaim your confidence, and unlock your divine power to create the life you truly want.
💡 Key Takeaways:
- Why failure is not an indictment—but proof you’re growing.
- How to use failure as a learning tool, not a personal label.
- Two powerful strategies: “Get a coach” and “Notice & Choose.”
- How to shift from mediocrity and fear to creation and courage.
- Real stories from Kellan’s journey—including the 200 episodes he never released.
- The critical mindset: Fail fast. Fail forward. Fail with love.
✅ Calls to Action:
🌟 Subscribe to Your Ultimate Life to receive weekly guidance on how to live a life of Purpose, Prosperity, and Joy.
💬 Leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this today.
💥 Join the free Dream Build Write It Challenge to tell your story, build your voice, and turn your experience into impact.
🧠 Tame your fears and negative self-talk with the free course at MasterYourMonsters.com
🎯 Explore more tools, books, and resources: www.yourultimatelife.ca
🗣️ "Failure is not a catastrophe—it’s a celebration."
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power and real talk so you can create
the life you dream and deserveyour ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create.
(00:24):
You have infinite power.
Hello, welcome to this episodeof youf Ultimate Life.
I'm excited to have you here.
This podcast is my labor oflove to help you create your ultimate
life.
A life of purpose, prosperityand joy, where you love every single
(00:45):
day.
You get up excited and youlean into your life.
Can you imagine that?
Maybe you live that way already.
And if you do, I'd love totalk to you.
So right now, first invitation.
If you're a person who gets upevery single day and loves your life,
you're excited.
You get up on fire with yourheart ablaze with what you have to
do, then I'm going to talk to you.
(01:05):
And the reason I do, if you'rewilling, I'd love to.
Because I love knowing those people.
And here's why.
Two reasons.
Often when I talk like that,people react like, well, that's impossible.
You can't live that way.
You can't have a life whereevery day is exciting, joyful, powerful
and creative.
Can't have that.
(01:26):
So.
And I do, and I love knowingothers who do, because that just
demonstrates for us and forothers that it is possible.
The second reason, if you'dlive that way, I really want to talk
with you, is because almostwithout exception, people, you, me,
who have learned how to livein joy every day with excitement
(01:50):
and leaning into life andeverything, when you've learned that,
you have a story about how yougot there, because so many, nearly
everyone starts not feelingthat way, feeling less than, not
able to, you know, behind theeight ball, whatever feeling you
want, not good enough.
And then it's a process of learning.
(02:11):
So there's a story about howyou got to a place where you love
your life.
And I love sharing those stories.
So if you're willing, go tokellenfluekegermedia.com here and
get.
Use a contact form and let'stalk, because I'd love sharing your
story.
And maybe you want to be aguest on one of the shows here or
on LA Talk Radio or in mytelevision series.
(02:33):
Maybe it would be valuable toshare your message, your story, your
journey of how you got to theplace where you love your life every
day.
Because the more of thosestories you and me share, the better
the world is.
We have influence.
We have power.
We have the ability to letpeople feel good about themselves.
(02:56):
Yeah, I can do that, too.
And the more examples we haveof that, the more likely it is if
all we see around us isexamples of failure, which is what
we're going to talk abouttoday, examples of frustration or
negativity or can't be done orcan't do it, can't make it.
If that's what we see tons of,then that's what we believe, because
(03:16):
that's all we see.
So I love sharing examples.
So if you're a person wholoves your life every day, let's
talk.
One, I want to know you.
And two, maybe you want toshare your story on one of my programs.
Most people do not live there.
They're not in a place wherethey just love life every day and
they get up excited.
I didn't used to be there.
(03:37):
I got up and hated.
Hated getting up.
Getting up was hard, was tired.
I want to hit snooze a bunchof times and, you know, that sort
of thing.
Go back to bed.
And when I did finally get up,it was with, I gotta do all this
stuff today.
I gotta, I gotta, I gotta.
That's not a recipe for fun.
It's not a recipe for joy, andit isn't really a recipe for success,
(04:00):
because when we're feelinglike that, we don't bring our best
work forward, we don't bringour most creativity forward.
And you already know that.
So that's a true thing.
And this podcast is somethingthat I do, and when I'm on other
people's shows.
I just recorded a podcastyesterday and I'm recording another
one tomorrow.
(04:20):
I always really honor podcasthosts, and the reason isn't because
I am one, but I do because Iknow, because I am one.
What a labor of love it is.
It's a lot of work, and it's achoice about how to add good to the
world with the conversationsyou have or the guests you bring
on, about how you can dosomething to lift and bless and serve.
Now, I know there's somepodcasts that are just conversations
(04:44):
about whatever, and there'ssome that are negative, where we're
looking to either push anarrative forward or have guests
that are going to, you know, together.
We're going to commiserate andbe mad at somebody.
I don't participate in any ofthat, and I'm not about that.
I certainly am pushing a narrative.
And the narrative is, you're powerful.
The narrative is you're wonderful.
(05:05):
The narrative is you haveinfinite capability.
The narrative is, you're adivine being.
The narrative Is you createyour life.
Wow.
Think about that.
You create your life.
So do I.
And that's despite all thestuff that happens around us that
we didn't plan for.
So today I called failure thepower of failure.
(05:27):
Now, usually we look atfailure and think it's a negative
thing.
I don't want to fail.
I don't want to have failure.
Oh, yuck.
Today, I want to talk aboutthe power of failure.
And I don't mean the power offailure to wreck your life or wreck
your attitude or your mood oryour plans or your good fortune or
anything else.
I'm talking about the power of failure.
(05:47):
So this little backgroundbehind me says, failure is the power
to success.
And that is a true thing.
Now, make no mistake, I knowyou and me, we can interpret failure
as an indictment.
Means we're not good enough,we're stupid, we're wrong, we shouldn't
be trying.
Whatever it is, we're trying,but that's not what it is.
(06:08):
Failure is very simple.
Let's make a definition.
Failure is just.
I didn't get the outcome I wanted.
So whatever I did to try toget that outcome didn't work.
And.
And that's all it really means.
It didn't work.
We put the word failure on it.
And that failure has a soundand a feeling and a reputation and
(06:31):
a stigma, like it's anindictment, like there's something
wrong with you.
Not a simple truth that what Itried didn't work.
So that's the first thing Iwant you to remember.
Failure isn't anything exceptit didn't work.
That.
That doesn't work.
Okay?
So remember that.
The second thing I want you toremember is that failure is a step
(06:53):
on the road to progress.
Now, Zig Ziglar, who's deadnow, but many years ago, used to
speak a lot.
He spoke a lot about sales andgetting things done.
And I think my wife belongedto several network marketing companies
in many years ago and like 30years ago, and Ziggler and others
spoke at those.
(07:14):
And, you know, one of thestatements is every no is one step
closer to a yes.
Every failure is simply onemore step toward progress.
Some say if you don't fail,you're not doing anything.
Michael Jordan had a wholespeech on that where he talked about
how many shots he'd missed andhow many times he'd been trusted
(07:36):
with the game, winning shotand failed, et cetera, et cetera.
And if you don't know thatlittle speech, look it up.
Michael Jordan on failure.
Google that because it listshow Many times he missed this and
that and the other.
And the point in doing thatwasn't to make anything negative
about him.
It was to demonstrate thateven Michael Jordan, you know, maybe
(07:57):
the greatest, and some peopleargue for Kobe or LeBron, but someone
that elevated failed zillionsof times, and all of the success
that they had was on the backof that failure.
Now let's get it down to therubber meets the road for you, Okay?
I have failed.
I can't even tell you how many times.
(08:20):
I have given talks that went flat.
I have given coaching sessionsthat didn't go like I wanted.
I have launched products thatdidn't work very well.
I have tried to perform pianopieces and made mistakes, made a
mess, okay?
And the list is endless.
(08:40):
And you, you have your own list.
Maybe you've tried to launch abusiness and it bombed.
Maybe you've tried to launch10 businesses and nine of them, or
all of them bombed.
That doesn't matter.
All it means is that didn't work.
And if we talk about what itactually means and we remember, it
just means that didn't work.
(09:01):
What else can we do?
So that's the rest of the question.
That didn't work.
What else can we do?
The drama or the.
The barrier comes when we turnthat, that didn't work into I suck,
I'm stupid, I'll never make it.
It's.
I'm wrong.
So that is an addition.
Failure simply means it didn't work.
So let's talk about a coupleof historical examples about people
(09:26):
who failed.
We all know the story ofEdison, and There were some 10,000
attempts to make anincandescent light bulb.
An incandescent light bulbs,the ones we used to have, we now,
then we had fluorescent, andnow we have LED and all these other
things.
But the first light bulb was abulb, you know, the kind we screwed
(09:48):
in and got.
That got really hot.
And it was a filament.
So electricity wires came upthe, you know, each side of the plug
and went inside the lightbulb, and there was a tiny thin wire
wrapped in a coil in between them.
And that's how light bulbs work.
And you probably already know that.
And when the two wires wereconnected or you turned on a switch,
(10:12):
electricity went through thatlittle tiny thin wire.
And because it was a thin wirewas way too much electricity for
the wire.
Not too much, but it got hot.
And when it got hot, it glowed.
And that's what created the light.
All of the other times beforehis 10,001, I guess the filament
burned up really quickly.
(10:33):
Pop.
Like, you remember when lightbulbs burned out, you would take
them, unscrew them, take themout, and you'd shake them.
And you could hear that littlerattle in there.
And that meant the filamentthat little thing had burned was
sitting in the bulb.
And you knew it was bad, soyou threw it away, put in another
one.
The secret to getting it donewas, you know, how big, how thick
does the filament be, need to be?
How many coils were there in there?
(10:55):
And one of the main things is,what is the gas that you put in the
light bulb?
Because for a long time theyjust put air in there, and air has
oxygen in it, and oxygencauses metal to burn.
And so the air caused thefilaments to burn immediately.
And every time he'd plug thelight bulb in, pop.
They'd burn right away.
Finally, he ended up fillingthem with argon gas, which doesn't
(11:17):
burn and doesn't support combustion.
And that was one of the bigsecrets to make it work.
So all those other times werejust not working.
And finally he tried enoughdifferent things that he found one
that worked.
You know that example, acouple others you probably have heard.
J.K.
rowling, who wrote the wildlysuccessful Harry Potter books and
all the movies that came withit, was on welfare and submitted
(11:40):
the manuscript to a gazillion.
And I'm saying a gazillionbecause I don't remember the number,
but a gazillion publishers.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This sucks.
You can't write.
No way.
Until eventually it turnedinto the worldwide hit, worldwide
franchise.
Eight movies.
And then the more, you know,the Dumbledore movies or the Salamander
movies or whatever they were.
I loved them all, by the way.
(12:01):
I just can't remember thenames right now.
So at least a dozen movies inan enormous global franchise that's
made her a zillionaire and wasmassive success.
The third one is another oneyou probably know, and that's Walt
Disney.
You know, his idea aboutcreating the thing that eventually
became Disneyland and thewhole Disney franchise was met with
all kinds of.
(12:21):
No, no, no.
Who knows how many timesbecause of his perseverance, it finally
got done.
What example do you know rightnow in your life, maybe you in somewhere
where you were facing thisterrible problem and you failed and
you failed and you failed andyou failed and you failed and then
(12:42):
you finally succeeded.
Do you have an example like that?
If you do, I'd love to hear it.
Put it in the comments below.
Tell me your story.
That's another kind of storythat I want.
So in the beginning, I askanyone that's listening that lives
that ultimate life where they.
Where you're living in joyevery day to get a hold of me, because
I want to share your story andI want to know you.
Here's another invitation.
(13:03):
If you have a story where youfailed and failed and failed and
failed, and then you finallysucceeded, I want to share that story,
too.
And there's two reasons.
One, you.
I want to honor you for havingthe perseverance to stick with it.
That's a rare quality.
Most people settle for mediocrity.
(13:23):
They just settle for mediocrity.
Oh, it's not my season.
I can't do this.
Not going to work.
You know, that kind of thought.
And they give up, quit trying.
So I want to honor you forhaving the courage to keep going
and keep going.
The second thing I want is Iwant to share your story, because
I want to have another exampleof someone who's toughed it out,
(13:43):
who had the perseverance totreat failure as a power failure,
as a launch pad failure, as Icall it, an idp.
Interesting data point.
Okay, it's not importantexcept to know this didn't work.
This podcast right now wasn'tmy first one.
(14:04):
I did one.
I did 200 episodes of another one.
And it was about the book.
One of the books that I have,you now know, I have 20, and I'm
writing number 21.
But one of the books I wroteis called Tightrope of Depression,
and it detailed my story fromyoung up to 2007, when my life radically
changed.
And I started a podcast calledTightrope Tales, and it focused on,
(14:28):
you know, the negative thingsand the struggles that had gone on
for years.
And, you know, I gave examplesand things in each episode, and I
just.
It bombed.
I didn't even ever publish it.
I had, like, 200 episodesready to go.
And the more I looked at it,the more I thought, I don't want
this to be.
What I share is the struggleswithout the victory, without the
(14:55):
assurance of possibility.
So I have 200 episodes I'venever shared, and I'm not going to.
And the reason isn't becausethey're not true.
They are true, and they'repowerful stories.
But my focus is on elevating you.
And so while I sometimes talkabout failures and sometimes I've
told my own stories andhistory of failure and stuff, it
(15:17):
is always in the context of.
And then we kept going, andthen we got there.
That'd be like talking about atrip where you're driving and the
only thing you do is talkabout getting a flat tire or two
flat tires or stuck in thedesert and you end it there.
You know, you're done.
Okay?
We were stuck in the desertforever instead of finishing the
(15:38):
story.
And it took 12 hours.
And finally somebody came orwe walked to the gas station or whatever.
You know, you got done, yougot there, you got help, you made
it.
That's the important part ofthe story.
Because we all know in our ownlives, times when we've just given
up, given up, given up, given up.
And that's not fun.
Nobody writes books about that.
(15:59):
That's not interesting.
What we love to go see in themovies is the tough stuff and then,
ah, the victory, right?
That's what we love.
That's what we want.
We want to share and feelthose victories.
All right, so I've given you acouple of historical examples and
we've talked about failurejust being an interesting data point.
(16:22):
What I'd like you to do isthink about how you personally feel
about failure.
For a long time, I lived withthe idea.
I called it N.G.E.
i'm just not good enough.
That was kind of this vagueidea in my head.
I'm not good enough to make alot of money.
I'm not good enough to havethe kind of life I want.
(16:45):
I'm not good enough to have mymusic, you know, be widespread and
be successful.
I'm not good enough to.
And fill in the blank that wasmade worse as I grew older with,
you know, I had some failed relationships.
I struggled for decades with depression.
And one of the.
One of the fuel sources for mydepression is I took every single
(17:09):
failure, meaning it didn'thappen the way I wanted.
I took every single failure asa massive indictment of me personally.
I suck.
I'm bad.
And that is not true.
Want to know what is true?
The truth is you and I weredivine beings.
(17:29):
You were created by the divine.
And you know that when you getquiet and you feel inside and I know
you've had divine nudges andfeelings, inspiration and intuition,
you may not believe it sometimes.
You may sometimes feel like,ah, how could this be happening?
But you know, you're.
You're divine.
And you also know that youhave far more capability than you're
(17:50):
using.
We all do.
We all live below our capability.
Often the reason is because wehave had failures.
And then we carry thesestories about the failures, that
they mean bad things about us.
So I'm going to give You apractice, something you can do to
(18:11):
change that.
Because just talking about thefact that we fail and then we blame
it on ourselves personally andwe treat it as an indictment and
we give up isn't very helpfulunless we have a way forward.
So there's two things I'mgoing to suggest to you.
Both of them I do, and both ofthem are effective.
Number one is getting a coach.
Get somebody who believes inyou at least as much or more than
(18:36):
you do, someone who you cantalk with and they can see your greatness
and they can talk with you andhold a space for your enormous vision.
So often when I get the chanceto meet people and talk to them about
their vision, they start withthese small visions.
Well, I'd like to do this.
(18:56):
And it's not that there'sanything wrong with the goal, a certain
amount of money or a certainhouse or car, but it's like, oh,
if I have that, I'll be so happy.
When just in a half an hourconversation, I have seen awesome
gifts.
Gifts, talents and capability.
I had a conversation withsomebody the other day and I listened
(19:17):
to their story, their lifestory, their journey.
And they're about my age, inthe 70 range.
And I was in awe.
And I'm thinking, and theywere doing good already.
It wasn't like they weresitting around just eating bon bons
and watching Netflix.
But I was in awe at theresilience and at the developed skills,
(19:40):
at the capability that theyhad and that they were still on fire
to do good, add good to the world.
And so we talked about whatelse was possible, how many people
they might impact, where andhow they might do that, how many
millions of people wouldbenefit from the message, from the
stories, from the choices of resilience.
(20:02):
And so we were able to createa lot of excitement, energy and a
plan to get that done.
So, number one, get a coach,get someone who believes in you,
who's going to be with you,help you, hold you accountable, help
you shape a beautiful vision,help you dare more greatly than you
(20:25):
dare yourself.
When you have somebody withyou that believes in you, you know,
it's like, why we still seenthese movies about football or basketball
coaches or something, and theyjust inspire their team or one player
on the team or individuals toget to enormous heights of success.
(20:46):
Good coaches do that.
So don't just get any coach,get one that inspires you.
People often ask me, well, howdo I pick a coach?
Interview several and pick onethat makes you feel invincible, that
makes you feel like you can dowhatever you want.
And then that offers thesupport, encouragement, examples,
(21:07):
frameworks, and tools to helpyou make that happen.
Right?
If you had a coach and theymake you feel like crap or they make
you feel wrong or stupid,that's not very helpful.
We don't listen.
We don't work very well whenwe feel picked on or, you know, for
being dissed, Right?
So that's how you pick a coach.
(21:28):
You talk to several.
Any good coach will talk toyou for a little bit and find out
what you want and see if theythink they can help you.
So that's number one.
Number two, this is a personalthing you can do by yourself.
You don't need anyone or any help.
And that's this little coupletI have, which is notice and choose.
(21:48):
Notice and choose.
Most of us go through lifewithout paying attention to what's
going on inside of us, withoutthinking about how we feel.
We're angry.
Something happens we don't want.
We're angry or we'refrustrated, or we're resentful, or
we're sad, or we're saying,you're picked on.
Why me?
And we have those feelings,but we don't stop and say, hey, I
(22:10):
am feeling angry right now.
And you might think that's stupid.
You might say, well, duh, ifyou're mad, you know you're mad.
No, hear me out here.
I'm feeling angry right now.
Is that serving me?
Forget the other person or thesituation, doesn't matter who did
what.
I am feeling angry right now.
Is that really serving me?
(22:32):
99% of the time you're goingto find it isn't.
Because when we get angry,we're blaming.
Almost always we get locked innarrow patterns of thinking that
aren't serving us.
Another really good one to dothat with is fear.
What am I feeling right now, man?
I'm scared to death.
I'm going to go give a prezi.
I'm going to talk on stage.
(22:53):
I'm going to meet a new person.
I'm going to apply for a job.
I'm going to do whatever.
I'm just afraid of somethingthe next.
So first stop.
How am I feeling?
What is it that I'm feeling?
And then make it.
Make a choice.
Notice and choose.
Take the time to notice howyou're feeling and then make a conscious
choice.
What would I need to do?
Who do I need to be to not be afraid?
(23:15):
You might think of someone else.
Let's say you're going to speak.
Who do I need to be to not beafraid of this, you might think of
someone that you know, asuperhero, a friend, someone that
you know, well, I'm going tobe them for a minute, right?
Notice and choose.
I'm angry.
You know what?
I can choose not to be angry.
I don't need to be angry.
(23:35):
You can't make me mad.
And anger and fear are tworeally prevalent and really easy
ones to do this with.
You don't have to be angry andyou don't have to be afraid.
And we're not talking aboutsaber tooth tigers and bears chasing
and stuff.
Talking about 99% of our fearis in our mind and it's about stuff
(23:57):
that never happens.
There was a quote that saidfrom somebody, I don't remember who,
but it said, I know, I knowworrying works because 90% of the
things I worry about never happen.
And of course it wasn't theworrying, it's the fact that they
weren't going to happen.
And all that effort and energyspent worrying was useless.
(24:19):
Failure is a power to success.
You increase the likelihood offailure when you're afraid.
What?
Yeah, when you're afraid.
I'll tell you what.
I did a lot of martial artsfor a lot of years and in the form
that I did, there were, youknow, a lot of times we're breaking,
(24:40):
breaking something, boards orbricks or whatever were part of the
thing.
And I can tell you when you'regetting ready to break something,
especially some pile of boardsor bricks that's right at the limit
or beyond the limit of wherewhat you've done before, what you
think you're capable of.
If you have fear and a splitsecond hesitation, you're going to
(25:01):
fail and you're probably goingto break your arm.
It is eliminating the fearthat lets you move forward and eliminate
failure.
So let's talk about something else.
In some, maybe in your familyit was different.
I don't know.
(25:21):
In my family growing up,failure was, was a sin.
It was bad, it got punished often.
It got punished in silent wayswith ridicule.
And it got punished sometimesdepending on what it was, with physical
punishment, totallyinappropriate, totally wrong.
And it led to a climate offear which contributed to my feeling
(25:43):
not good enough and a bunch ofstuff like that.
So let's understand, failureis just not getting the outcome you
want.
Failure is not an indictmentof you.
It doesn't mean you're bad oryou don't have value.
It doesn't mean the thingyou're trying to do isn't worthwhile.
It only means that didn't work.
Now I want you to examine yourmindset toward failure.
(26:06):
When you think of the wordfailure, failure, you failed.
What.
What comes up for you?
If that word even said thatway, I said it creates a feeling
in you of fear or negativityor I gotta hide or man, I hope that
doesn't happen to me.
(26:27):
Then you have a lousyrelationship with failure.
Failure is simply not gettingwhat you intended.
It is normal, it is natural,and it is essential.
If you're not failing, you'renot moving forward.
I want to give you an example.
Just the other day, three,two, three, four weeks ago, there
was a rocket launch.
(26:48):
SpaceX launched a rocket andthey had launched one just a few
months before.
And it got up a few minutes inthe sky and it blew up.
This one.
They launched another one, Ican't remember the number of it.
Nine something nine.
They launched this one and itstayed in the air for longer than
the other one.
And then it blew up.
And you could say, man, what a failure.
(27:08):
What are they blowing that up for?
And when you looked and didsome research, they expected it to
blow up.
They have a practice oftesting the gear.
Nobody was in it.
It was unmanned, of course,because they knew it was going to
blow up.
They're testing the gear to failure.
We test to failure so we cansee where the real limits are.
(27:30):
When you're doing workouts,doing push ups, doing curls, doing
things, you do the reps tofailure till you simply can't do
anymore.
Because it is in that lastmoment of failure that the muscles
break down and you get themost growth over, over the next days.
(27:51):
So failure is a beautiful word.
It is a powerful word.
It is something to makefriends with.
Make friends with failure.
Now, another thing thatfailure does is it is a powerful
learning opportunity.
When I learned to ski, Ididn't start learning to ski till
I was 45.
My upbringing, we just didn'tdo winter sports.
(28:13):
And as an adult, I didn't do it.
Some changes happened in myLife and at 45 I went to learn to
ski.
And I'm kind of an all ornothing guy, so I wanted to learn
quickly and I wanted to getoff the bunny hill and the green
stuff quick and get to the blue.
And had my eye on black andblack, black slopes and double blacks
(28:34):
and guess what?
Lots of failure, lots oflessons, lots of learning about how
you hold your body and how youdistribute your weight and how you
do or don't anticipate littlebumps and you know, that kind of
thing and what it means tohave flat lit snow where you can't
(28:55):
see contours, all of that.
Boy, did I have a lot of failures.
I paid some prices.
I had bruises and bumps and adislocated shoulder and a dislocated
knee.
I think that one wassnowboarding, which I learned five
years later.
But that is.
That's part of it.
Failure is a learning opportunity.
(29:15):
I interviewed somebody theother day as a podcast guest, and
they said, fail up, fail up.
Another saying is fail forward.
So don't think of it as asetback, an indictment, or something
negative.
It isn't.
It's just a data point.
Fail fast, fail forward.
That's the idea that hurry upand fail.
(29:36):
Try it, try it, try it.
Figure out what doesn't workso you can hone in quickly on what
does work.
Now, I'm not saying just gotry crazy things and fail in terms
of getting hurt or wasting allyour money or anything.
Get the best guidance you can.
Like I said, get a coach.
Talk with people that havedone what you're trying to do or
(29:57):
something close to it, and getthe best advice that you can get,
and then go for it.
You're a creator.
You're a divine creator.
So let failure, all of yourfailures, energize you, light you
up, make you love yourselfmore, and move you to success.
One thing I would ask you todo is every time something fails,
(30:22):
go to the mirror and look inthe mirror and say, I love you and
just love yourself.
Because like I said, and youknow this, we live in a world right
now where failure is a stigma.
There's an indictment, andit's, you know, a view of your value
and of your common sense or whatever.
You're bad somehow because youfailed, and it's not true.
No progress takes placewithout failure.
(30:46):
No growth takes place withoutconsistent failure and effort, adjustment
and learning.
And if you are able to changeyour attitude to where you love failure,
lean into it, look forward toit, because it is on the back of
your failure that you willrise up to the most successful things
(31:07):
you want to do.
Now, I'm doing this podcastabout your ultimate life because
I know you have the ability tocreate a life of purpose, prosperity,
and joy.
You can.
No one can take that from you,and no one from.
Can keep you from doing it.
You're gonna fail.
(31:28):
One of the things that happensalways in either.
In private coaching, mycoaching groups, people are writing
books or they're doing videosor something, and they're like, oh,
this is gonna look bad.
And, oh, what if somebodythinks I'm Stupid or whatever.
I just interrupt them rightthere and I say, good.
They are.
You're going to have some that do.
So let's get past that barrierright now.
(31:48):
Yep.
There's going to be peoplethat think you're stupid.
There's going to be peoplethat think you're wrong.
There's going to be peoplethat hate on you.
And you know what?
If that's not true, you're notsaying anything, you're not doing
anything, you're not building anything.
So expect it, look for it,lean into it.
I don't mean belligerence oranger or fighting or any of that.
(32:10):
Just lean into your own progress.
Lean into your own growth.
You are capable, you are powerful.
You are destined to win.
And for every one of us, theroad to winning goes through failure.
(32:31):
It goes through 1, 2, 5, 10,50 or 10,000, in Edison's case, failures
to get to success.
And so what?
So what?
Failure is not a catastrophe,it's a celebration.
So treat yourself well, loveyourself, lean in, dare more greatly,
(32:54):
experience more deeply, andlean in more joyously.
I have learned to do that.
And I can tell you from beingon the other side of hating failure
and hating myself when Ifailed and all the rest, to just
living in purpose, prosperityand joy all the time.
And failure is fun.
(33:16):
It's part of life.
And it means that you'reworking and you're growing.
And I'm not saying we'retrying to fail, but lose all the
stigma and replace it withlove and energy.
That is a secret most peopledon't have.
(33:38):
They try to minimize the paininstead of maximize the joy.
You're powerful.
Why?
Because you're trying.
You're great.
Why?
Because you're out therebusting it.
You're moving forward.
I would rather work with andbe associated with people that are
doing things and failing thanthose that are afraid, waiting for
the right time and hangingback because they're worried.
(34:03):
So I invite you to go to three places.
I invite you to go todreambuildrite.com I'm going to hold
a challenge in June, and ifyou have a story to tell, that might
be for you, I invite you to goto kellenfluker media.com because
there's all kinds of resourcesthere that you can have.
Many of them don't costanything at all, but they're powerful
(34:24):
and they come out of my yearsof doing decades now actually of
doing this work with people.
I ask.
I'm going to invite you to onemore place.
I've got a website calledMasterYourMonsters.com MasterYourMonsters.com
and it's kind of funny becausewhen we're kids, we think, you know,
monsters might be into the bedor in the closet or whatever.
(34:45):
And then we grow up and werealize that was just our imagination.
But as adults, we have monsters.
I'm not good enough.
Monster, it's not my fault.
Monster, I have no time.
Monster, procrastination andall those others that really eat
our lunch.
So I created a product calledMaster your monsters.
It's free and it's an audiocourse with ten audios tackling particular
(35:06):
monsters.
This will help you overcome,change your relationship with and
lean into failure.
All of this is something Igive to you because I love you.
I know that you're divine andcapable and there's nothing that
can can keep you from creatingyour ultimate life.
(35:27):
Never hold back and you'llnever ask why.
Open your heart.
And this time around, righthere, right now, your opportunity
for massive growth is right infront of you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
(35:48):
If you you want to know more,go to kellenfluecigermedia.com if
you want more free tools, gohere YourUltimate Life CA subscribe
Share.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power and real talk so you can create
the life you dream and deserveyour ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create.
(00:24):
You have infinite power.
Hello, welcome to this episodeof youf Ultimate Life.
I'm excited to have you here.
This podcast is my labor oflove to help you create your ultimate
life.
A life of purpose, prosperityand joy, where you love every single
(00:45):
day.
You get up excited and youlean into your life.
Can you imagine that?
Maybe you live that way already.
And if you do, I'd love totalk to you.
So right now, first invitation.
If you're a person who gets upevery single day and loves your life,
you're excited.
You get up on fire with yourheart ablaze with what you have to
do, then I'm going to talk to you.
(01:05):
And the reason I do, if you'rewilling, I'd love to.
Because I love knowing those people.
And here's why.
Two reasons.
Often when I talk like that,people react like, well, that's impossible.
You can't live that way.
You can't have a life whereevery day is exciting, joyful, powerful
and creative.
Can't have that.
(01:26):
So.
And I do, and I love knowingothers who do, because that just
demonstrates for us and forothers that it is possible.
The second reason, if you'dlive that way, I really want to talk
with you, is because almostwithout exception, people, you, me,
who have learned how to livein joy every day with excitement
(01:50):
and leaning into life andeverything, when you've learned that,
you have a story about how yougot there, because so many, nearly
everyone starts not feelingthat way, feeling less than, not
able to, you know, behind theeight ball, whatever feeling you
want, not good enough.
And then it's a process of learning.
(02:11):
So there's a story about howyou got to a place where you love
your life.
And I love sharing those stories.
So if you're willing, go tokellenfluekegermedia.com here and
get.
Use a contact form and let'stalk, because I'd love sharing your
story.
And maybe you want to be aguest on one of the shows here or
on LA Talk Radio or in mytelevision series.
(02:33):
Maybe it would be valuable toshare your message, your story, your
journey of how you got to theplace where you love your life every
day.
Because the more of thosestories you and me share, the better
the world is.
We have influence.
We have power.
We have the ability to letpeople feel good about themselves.
(02:56):
Yeah, I can do that, too.
And the more examples we haveof that, the more likely it is if
all we see around us isexamples of failure, which is what
we're going to talk abouttoday, examples of frustration or
negativity or can't be done orcan't do it, can't make it.
If that's what we see tons of,then that's what we believe, because
(03:16):
that's all we see.
So I love sharing examples.
So if you're a person wholoves your life every day, let's
talk.
One, I want to know you.
And two, maybe you want toshare your story on one of my programs.
Most people do not live there.
They're not in a place wherethey just love life every day and
they get up excited.
I didn't used to be there.
(03:37):
I got up and hated.
Hated getting up.
Getting up was hard, was tired.
I want to hit snooze a bunchof times and, you know, that sort
of thing.
Go back to bed.
And when I did finally get up,it was with, I gotta do all this
stuff today.
I gotta, I gotta, I gotta.
That's not a recipe for fun.
It's not a recipe for joy, andit isn't really a recipe for success,
(04:00):
because when we're feelinglike that, we don't bring our best
work forward, we don't bringour most creativity forward.
And you already know that.
So that's a true thing.
And this podcast is somethingthat I do, and when I'm on other
people's shows.
I just recorded a podcastyesterday and I'm recording another
one tomorrow.
(04:20):
I always really honor podcasthosts, and the reason isn't because
I am one, but I do because Iknow, because I am one.
What a labor of love it is.
It's a lot of work, and it's achoice about how to add good to the
world with the conversationsyou have or the guests you bring
on, about how you can dosomething to lift and bless and serve.
Now, I know there's somepodcasts that are just conversations
(04:44):
about whatever, and there'ssome that are negative, where we're
looking to either push anarrative forward or have guests
that are going to, you know, together.
We're going to commiserate andbe mad at somebody.
I don't participate in any ofthat, and I'm not about that.
I certainly am pushing a narrative.
And the narrative is, you're powerful.
The narrative is you're wonderful.
(05:05):
The narrative is you haveinfinite capability.
The narrative is, you're adivine being.
The narrative Is you createyour life.
Wow.
Think about that.
You create your life.
So do I.
And that's despite all thestuff that happens around us that
we didn't plan for.
So today I called failure thepower of failure.
(05:27):
Now, usually we look atfailure and think it's a negative
thing.
I don't want to fail.
I don't want to have failure.
Oh, yuck.
Today, I want to talk aboutthe power of failure.
And I don't mean the power offailure to wreck your life or wreck
your attitude or your mood oryour plans or your good fortune or
anything else.
I'm talking about the power of failure.
(05:47):
So this little backgroundbehind me says, failure is the power
to success.
And that is a true thing.
Now, make no mistake, I knowyou and me, we can interpret failure
as an indictment.
Means we're not good enough,we're stupid, we're wrong, we shouldn't
be trying.
Whatever it is, we're trying,but that's not what it is.
(06:08):
Failure is very simple.
Let's make a definition.
Failure is just.
I didn't get the outcome I wanted.
So whatever I did to try toget that outcome didn't work.
And.
And that's all it really means.
It didn't work.
We put the word failure on it.
And that failure has a soundand a feeling and a reputation and
(06:31):
a stigma, like it's anindictment, like there's something
wrong with you.
Not a simple truth that what Itried didn't work.
So that's the first thing Iwant you to remember.
Failure isn't anything exceptit didn't work.
That.
That doesn't work.
Okay?
So remember that.
The second thing I want you toremember is that failure is a step
(06:53):
on the road to progress.
Now, Zig Ziglar, who's deadnow, but many years ago, used to
speak a lot.
He spoke a lot about sales andgetting things done.
And I think my wife belongedto several network marketing companies
in many years ago and like 30years ago, and Ziggler and others
spoke at those.
(07:14):
And, you know, one of thestatements is every no is one step
closer to a yes.
Every failure is simply onemore step toward progress.
Some say if you don't fail,you're not doing anything.
Michael Jordan had a wholespeech on that where he talked about
how many shots he'd missed andhow many times he'd been trusted
(07:36):
with the game, winning shotand failed, et cetera, et cetera.
And if you don't know thatlittle speech, look it up.
Michael Jordan on failure.
Google that because it listshow Many times he missed this and
that and the other.
And the point in doing thatwasn't to make anything negative
about him.
It was to demonstrate thateven Michael Jordan, you know, maybe
(07:57):
the greatest, and some peopleargue for Kobe or LeBron, but someone
that elevated failed zillionsof times, and all of the success
that they had was on the backof that failure.
Now let's get it down to therubber meets the road for you, Okay?
I have failed.
I can't even tell you how many times.
(08:20):
I have given talks that went flat.
I have given coaching sessionsthat didn't go like I wanted.
I have launched products thatdidn't work very well.
I have tried to perform pianopieces and made mistakes, made a
mess, okay?
And the list is endless.
(08:40):
And you, you have your own list.
Maybe you've tried to launch abusiness and it bombed.
Maybe you've tried to launch10 businesses and nine of them, or
all of them bombed.
That doesn't matter.
All it means is that didn't work.
And if we talk about what itactually means and we remember, it
just means that didn't work.
(09:01):
What else can we do?
So that's the rest of the question.
That didn't work.
What else can we do?
The drama or the.
The barrier comes when we turnthat, that didn't work into I suck,
I'm stupid, I'll never make it.
It's.
I'm wrong.
So that is an addition.
Failure simply means it didn't work.
So let's talk about a coupleof historical examples about people
(09:26):
who failed.
We all know the story ofEdison, and There were some 10,000
attempts to make anincandescent light bulb.
An incandescent light bulbs,the ones we used to have, we now,
then we had fluorescent, andnow we have LED and all these other
things.
But the first light bulb was abulb, you know, the kind we screwed
(09:48):
in and got.
That got really hot.
And it was a filament.
So electricity wires came upthe, you know, each side of the plug
and went inside the lightbulb, and there was a tiny thin wire
wrapped in a coil in between them.
And that's how light bulbs work.
And you probably already know that.
And when the two wires wereconnected or you turned on a switch,
(10:12):
electricity went through thatlittle tiny thin wire.
And because it was a thin wirewas way too much electricity for
the wire.
Not too much, but it got hot.
And when it got hot, it glowed.
And that's what created the light.
All of the other times beforehis 10,001, I guess the filament
burned up really quickly.
(10:33):
Pop.
Like, you remember when lightbulbs burned out, you would take
them, unscrew them, take themout, and you'd shake them.
And you could hear that littlerattle in there.
And that meant the filamentthat little thing had burned was
sitting in the bulb.
And you knew it was bad, soyou threw it away, put in another
one.
The secret to getting it donewas, you know, how big, how thick
does the filament be, need to be?
How many coils were there in there?
(10:55):
And one of the main things is,what is the gas that you put in the
light bulb?
Because for a long time theyjust put air in there, and air has
oxygen in it, and oxygencauses metal to burn.
And so the air caused thefilaments to burn immediately.
And every time he'd plug thelight bulb in, pop.
They'd burn right away.
Finally, he ended up fillingthem with argon gas, which doesn't
(11:17):
burn and doesn't support combustion.
And that was one of the bigsecrets to make it work.
So all those other times werejust not working.
And finally he tried enoughdifferent things that he found one
that worked.
You know that example, acouple others you probably have heard.
J.K.
rowling, who wrote the wildlysuccessful Harry Potter books and
all the movies that came withit, was on welfare and submitted
(11:40):
the manuscript to a gazillion.
And I'm saying a gazillionbecause I don't remember the number,
but a gazillion publishers.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This sucks.
You can't write.
No way.
Until eventually it turnedinto the worldwide hit, worldwide
franchise.
Eight movies.
And then the more, you know,the Dumbledore movies or the Salamander
movies or whatever they were.
I loved them all, by the way.
(12:01):
I just can't remember thenames right now.
So at least a dozen movies inan enormous global franchise that's
made her a zillionaire and wasmassive success.
The third one is another oneyou probably know, and that's Walt
Disney.
You know, his idea aboutcreating the thing that eventually
became Disneyland and thewhole Disney franchise was met with
all kinds of.
(12:21):
No, no, no.
Who knows how many timesbecause of his perseverance, it finally
got done.
What example do you know rightnow in your life, maybe you in somewhere
where you were facing thisterrible problem and you failed and
you failed and you failed andyou failed and you failed and then
(12:42):
you finally succeeded.
Do you have an example like that?
If you do, I'd love to hear it.
Put it in the comments below.
Tell me your story.
That's another kind of storythat I want.
So in the beginning, I askanyone that's listening that lives
that ultimate life where they.
Where you're living in joyevery day to get a hold of me, because
I want to share your story andI want to know you.
Here's another invitation.
(13:03):
If you have a story where youfailed and failed and failed and
failed, and then you finallysucceeded, I want to share that story,
too.
And there's two reasons.
One, you.
I want to honor you for havingthe perseverance to stick with it.
That's a rare quality.
Most people settle for mediocrity.
(13:23):
They just settle for mediocrity.
Oh, it's not my season.
I can't do this.
Not going to work.
You know, that kind of thought.
And they give up, quit trying.
So I want to honor you forhaving the courage to keep going
and keep going.
The second thing I want is Iwant to share your story, because
I want to have another exampleof someone who's toughed it out,
(13:43):
who had the perseverance totreat failure as a power failure,
as a launch pad failure, as Icall it, an idp.
Interesting data point.
Okay, it's not importantexcept to know this didn't work.
This podcast right now wasn'tmy first one.
(14:04):
I did one.
I did 200 episodes of another one.
And it was about the book.
One of the books that I have,you now know, I have 20, and I'm
writing number 21.
But one of the books I wroteis called Tightrope of Depression,
and it detailed my story fromyoung up to 2007, when my life radically
changed.
And I started a podcast calledTightrope Tales, and it focused on,
(14:28):
you know, the negative thingsand the struggles that had gone on
for years.
And, you know, I gave examplesand things in each episode, and I
just.
It bombed.
I didn't even ever publish it.
I had, like, 200 episodesready to go.
And the more I looked at it,the more I thought, I don't want
this to be.
What I share is the struggleswithout the victory, without the
(14:55):
assurance of possibility.
So I have 200 episodes I'venever shared, and I'm not going to.
And the reason isn't becausethey're not true.
They are true, and they'repowerful stories.
But my focus is on elevating you.
And so while I sometimes talkabout failures and sometimes I've
told my own stories andhistory of failure and stuff, it
(15:17):
is always in the context of.
And then we kept going, andthen we got there.
That'd be like talking about atrip where you're driving and the
only thing you do is talkabout getting a flat tire or two
flat tires or stuck in thedesert and you end it there.
You know, you're done.
Okay?
We were stuck in the desertforever instead of finishing the
(15:38):
story.
And it took 12 hours.
And finally somebody came orwe walked to the gas station or whatever.
You know, you got done, yougot there, you got help, you made
it.
That's the important part ofthe story.
Because we all know in our ownlives, times when we've just given
up, given up, given up, given up.
And that's not fun.
Nobody writes books about that.
(15:59):
That's not interesting.
What we love to go see in themovies is the tough stuff and then,
ah, the victory, right?
That's what we love.
That's what we want.
We want to share and feelthose victories.
All right, so I've given you acouple of historical examples and
we've talked about failurejust being an interesting data point.
(16:22):
What I'd like you to do isthink about how you personally feel
about failure.
For a long time, I lived withthe idea.
I called it N.G.E.
i'm just not good enough.
That was kind of this vagueidea in my head.
I'm not good enough to make alot of money.
I'm not good enough to havethe kind of life I want.
(16:45):
I'm not good enough to have mymusic, you know, be widespread and
be successful.
I'm not good enough to.
And fill in the blank that wasmade worse as I grew older with,
you know, I had some failed relationships.
I struggled for decades with depression.
And one of the.
One of the fuel sources for mydepression is I took every single
(17:09):
failure, meaning it didn'thappen the way I wanted.
I took every single failure asa massive indictment of me personally.
I suck.
I'm bad.
And that is not true.
Want to know what is true?
The truth is you and I weredivine beings.
(17:29):
You were created by the divine.
And you know that when you getquiet and you feel inside and I know
you've had divine nudges andfeelings, inspiration and intuition,
you may not believe it sometimes.
You may sometimes feel like,ah, how could this be happening?
But you know, you're.
You're divine.
And you also know that youhave far more capability than you're
(17:50):
using.
We all do.
We all live below our capability.
Often the reason is because wehave had failures.
And then we carry thesestories about the failures, that
they mean bad things about us.
So I'm going to give You apractice, something you can do to
(18:11):
change that.
Because just talking about thefact that we fail and then we blame
it on ourselves personally andwe treat it as an indictment and
we give up isn't very helpfulunless we have a way forward.
So there's two things I'mgoing to suggest to you.
Both of them I do, and both ofthem are effective.
Number one is getting a coach.
Get somebody who believes inyou at least as much or more than
(18:36):
you do, someone who you cantalk with and they can see your greatness
and they can talk with you andhold a space for your enormous vision.
So often when I get the chanceto meet people and talk to them about
their vision, they start withthese small visions.
Well, I'd like to do this.
(18:56):
And it's not that there'sanything wrong with the goal, a certain
amount of money or a certainhouse or car, but it's like, oh,
if I have that, I'll be so happy.
When just in a half an hourconversation, I have seen awesome
gifts.
Gifts, talents and capability.
I had a conversation withsomebody the other day and I listened
(19:17):
to their story, their lifestory, their journey.
And they're about my age, inthe 70 range.
And I was in awe.
And I'm thinking, and theywere doing good already.
It wasn't like they weresitting around just eating bon bons
and watching Netflix.
But I was in awe at theresilience and at the developed skills,
(19:40):
at the capability that theyhad and that they were still on fire
to do good, add good to the world.
And so we talked about whatelse was possible, how many people
they might impact, where andhow they might do that, how many
millions of people wouldbenefit from the message, from the
stories, from the choices of resilience.
(20:02):
And so we were able to createa lot of excitement, energy and a
plan to get that done.
So, number one, get a coach,get someone who believes in you,
who's going to be with you,help you, hold you accountable, help
you shape a beautiful vision,help you dare more greatly than you
(20:25):
dare yourself.
When you have somebody withyou that believes in you, you know,
it's like, why we still seenthese movies about football or basketball
coaches or something, and theyjust inspire their team or one player
on the team or individuals toget to enormous heights of success.
(20:46):
Good coaches do that.
So don't just get any coach,get one that inspires you.
People often ask me, well, howdo I pick a coach?
Interview several and pick onethat makes you feel invincible, that
makes you feel like you can dowhatever you want.
And then that offers thesupport, encouragement, examples,
(21:07):
frameworks, and tools to helpyou make that happen.
Right?
If you had a coach and theymake you feel like crap or they make
you feel wrong or stupid,that's not very helpful.
We don't listen.
We don't work very well whenwe feel picked on or, you know, for
being dissed, Right?
So that's how you pick a coach.
(21:28):
You talk to several.
Any good coach will talk toyou for a little bit and find out
what you want and see if theythink they can help you.
So that's number one.
Number two, this is a personalthing you can do by yourself.
You don't need anyone or any help.
And that's this little coupletI have, which is notice and choose.
(21:48):
Notice and choose.
Most of us go through lifewithout paying attention to what's
going on inside of us, withoutthinking about how we feel.
We're angry.
Something happens we don't want.
We're angry or we'refrustrated, or we're resentful, or
we're sad, or we're saying,you're picked on.
Why me?
And we have those feelings,but we don't stop and say, hey, I
(22:10):
am feeling angry right now.
And you might think that's stupid.
You might say, well, duh, ifyou're mad, you know you're mad.
No, hear me out here.
I'm feeling angry right now.
Is that serving me?
Forget the other person or thesituation, doesn't matter who did
what.
I am feeling angry right now.
Is that really serving me?
(22:32):
99% of the time you're goingto find it isn't.
Because when we get angry,we're blaming.
Almost always we get locked innarrow patterns of thinking that
aren't serving us.
Another really good one to dothat with is fear.
What am I feeling right now, man?
I'm scared to death.
I'm going to go give a prezi.
I'm going to talk on stage.
(22:53):
I'm going to meet a new person.
I'm going to apply for a job.
I'm going to do whatever.
I'm just afraid of somethingthe next.
So first stop.
How am I feeling?
What is it that I'm feeling?
And then make it.
Make a choice.
Notice and choose.
Take the time to notice howyou're feeling and then make a conscious
choice.
What would I need to do?
Who do I need to be to not be afraid?
(23:15):
You might think of someone else.
Let's say you're going to speak.
Who do I need to be to not beafraid of this, you might think of
someone that you know, asuperhero, a friend, someone that
you know, well, I'm going tobe them for a minute, right?
Notice and choose.
I'm angry.
You know what?
I can choose not to be angry.
I don't need to be angry.
(23:35):
You can't make me mad.
And anger and fear are tworeally prevalent and really easy
ones to do this with.
You don't have to be angry andyou don't have to be afraid.
And we're not talking aboutsaber tooth tigers and bears chasing
and stuff.
Talking about 99% of our fearis in our mind and it's about stuff
(23:57):
that never happens.
There was a quote that saidfrom somebody, I don't remember who,
but it said, I know, I knowworrying works because 90% of the
things I worry about never happen.
And of course it wasn't theworrying, it's the fact that they
weren't going to happen.
And all that effort and energyspent worrying was useless.
(24:19):
Failure is a power to success.
You increase the likelihood offailure when you're afraid.
What?
Yeah, when you're afraid.
I'll tell you what.
I did a lot of martial artsfor a lot of years and in the form
that I did, there were, youknow, a lot of times we're breaking,
(24:40):
breaking something, boards orbricks or whatever were part of the
thing.
And I can tell you when you'regetting ready to break something,
especially some pile of boardsor bricks that's right at the limit
or beyond the limit of wherewhat you've done before, what you
think you're capable of.
If you have fear and a splitsecond hesitation, you're going to
(25:01):
fail and you're probably goingto break your arm.
It is eliminating the fearthat lets you move forward and eliminate
failure.
So let's talk about something else.
In some, maybe in your familyit was different.
I don't know.
(25:21):
In my family growing up,failure was, was a sin.
It was bad, it got punished often.
It got punished in silent wayswith ridicule.
And it got punished sometimesdepending on what it was, with physical
punishment, totallyinappropriate, totally wrong.
And it led to a climate offear which contributed to my feeling
(25:43):
not good enough and a bunch ofstuff like that.
So let's understand, failureis just not getting the outcome you
want.
Failure is not an indictmentof you.
It doesn't mean you're bad oryou don't have value.
It doesn't mean the thingyou're trying to do isn't worthwhile.
It only means that didn't work.
Now I want you to examine yourmindset toward failure.
(26:06):
When you think of the wordfailure, failure, you failed.
What.
What comes up for you?
If that word even said thatway, I said it creates a feeling
in you of fear or negativityor I gotta hide or man, I hope that
doesn't happen to me.
(26:27):
Then you have a lousyrelationship with failure.
Failure is simply not gettingwhat you intended.
It is normal, it is natural,and it is essential.
If you're not failing, you'renot moving forward.
I want to give you an example.
Just the other day, three,two, three, four weeks ago, there
was a rocket launch.
(26:48):
SpaceX launched a rocket andthey had launched one just a few
months before.
And it got up a few minutes inthe sky and it blew up.
This one.
They launched another one, Ican't remember the number of it.
Nine something nine.
They launched this one and itstayed in the air for longer than
the other one.
And then it blew up.
And you could say, man, what a failure.
(27:08):
What are they blowing that up for?
And when you looked and didsome research, they expected it to
blow up.
They have a practice oftesting the gear.
Nobody was in it.
It was unmanned, of course,because they knew it was going to
blow up.
They're testing the gear to failure.
We test to failure so we cansee where the real limits are.
(27:30):
When you're doing workouts,doing push ups, doing curls, doing
things, you do the reps tofailure till you simply can't do
anymore.
Because it is in that lastmoment of failure that the muscles
break down and you get themost growth over, over the next days.
(27:51):
So failure is a beautiful word.
It is a powerful word.
It is something to makefriends with.
Make friends with failure.
Now, another thing thatfailure does is it is a powerful
learning opportunity.
When I learned to ski, Ididn't start learning to ski till
I was 45.
My upbringing, we just didn'tdo winter sports.
(28:13):
And as an adult, I didn't do it.
Some changes happened in myLife and at 45 I went to learn to
ski.
And I'm kind of an all ornothing guy, so I wanted to learn
quickly and I wanted to getoff the bunny hill and the green
stuff quick and get to the blue.
And had my eye on black andblack, black slopes and double blacks
(28:34):
and guess what?
Lots of failure, lots oflessons, lots of learning about how
you hold your body and how youdistribute your weight and how you
do or don't anticipate littlebumps and you know, that kind of
thing and what it means tohave flat lit snow where you can't
(28:55):
see contours, all of that.
Boy, did I have a lot of failures.
I paid some prices.
I had bruises and bumps and adislocated shoulder and a dislocated
knee.
I think that one wassnowboarding, which I learned five
years later.
But that is.
That's part of it.
Failure is a learning opportunity.
(29:15):
I interviewed somebody theother day as a podcast guest, and
they said, fail up, fail up.
Another saying is fail forward.
So don't think of it as asetback, an indictment, or something
negative.
It isn't.
It's just a data point.
Fail fast, fail forward.
That's the idea that hurry upand fail.
(29:36):
Try it, try it, try it.
Figure out what doesn't workso you can hone in quickly on what
does work.
Now, I'm not saying just gotry crazy things and fail in terms
of getting hurt or wasting allyour money or anything.
Get the best guidance you can.
Like I said, get a coach.
Talk with people that havedone what you're trying to do or
(29:57):
something close to it, and getthe best advice that you can get,
and then go for it.
You're a creator.
You're a divine creator.
So let failure, all of yourfailures, energize you, light you
up, make you love yourselfmore, and move you to success.
One thing I would ask you todo is every time something fails,
(30:22):
go to the mirror and look inthe mirror and say, I love you and
just love yourself.
Because like I said, and youknow this, we live in a world right
now where failure is a stigma.
There's an indictment, andit's, you know, a view of your value
and of your common sense or whatever.
You're bad somehow because youfailed, and it's not true.
No progress takes placewithout failure.
(30:46):
No growth takes place withoutconsistent failure and effort, adjustment
and learning.
And if you are able to changeyour attitude to where you love failure,
lean into it, look forward toit, because it is on the back of
your failure that you willrise up to the most successful things
(31:07):
you want to do.
Now, I'm doing this podcastabout your ultimate life because
I know you have the ability tocreate a life of purpose, prosperity,
and joy.
You can.
No one can take that from you,and no one from.
Can keep you from doing it.
You're gonna fail.
(31:28):
One of the things that happensalways in either.
In private coaching, mycoaching groups, people are writing
books or they're doing videosor something, and they're like, oh,
this is gonna look bad.
And, oh, what if somebodythinks I'm Stupid or whatever.
I just interrupt them rightthere and I say, good.
They are.
You're going to have some that do.
So let's get past that barrierright now.
(31:48):
Yep.
There's going to be peoplethat think you're stupid.
There's going to be peoplethat think you're wrong.
There's going to be peoplethat hate on you.
And you know what?
If that's not true, you're notsaying anything, you're not doing
anything, you're not building anything.
So expect it, look for it,lean into it.
I don't mean belligerence oranger or fighting or any of that.
(32:10):
Just lean into your own progress.
Lean into your own growth.
You are capable, you are powerful.
You are destined to win.
And for every one of us, theroad to winning goes through failure.
(32:31):
It goes through 1, 2, 5, 10,50 or 10,000, in Edison's case, failures
to get to success.
And so what?
So what?
Failure is not a catastrophe,it's a celebration.
So treat yourself well, loveyourself, lean in, dare more greatly,
(32:54):
experience more deeply, andlean in more joyously.
I have learned to do that.
And I can tell you from beingon the other side of hating failure
and hating myself when Ifailed and all the rest, to just
living in purpose, prosperityand joy all the time.
And failure is fun.
(33:16):
It's part of life.
And it means that you'reworking and you're growing.
And I'm not saying we'retrying to fail, but lose all the
stigma and replace it withlove and energy.
That is a secret most peopledon't have.
(33:38):
They try to minimize the paininstead of maximize the joy.
You're powerful.
Why?
Because you're trying.
You're great.
Why?
Because you're out therebusting it.
You're moving forward.
I would rather work with andbe associated with people that are
doing things and failing thanthose that are afraid, waiting for
the right time and hangingback because they're worried.
(34:03):
So I invite you to go to three places.
I invite you to go todreambuildrite.com I'm going to hold
a challenge in June, and ifyou have a story to tell, that might
be for you, I invite you to goto kellenfluker media.com because
there's all kinds of resourcesthere that you can have.
Many of them don't costanything at all, but they're powerful
(34:24):
and they come out of my yearsof doing decades now actually of
doing this work with people.
I ask.
I'm going to invite you to onemore place.
I've got a website calledMasterYourMonsters.com MasterYourMonsters.com
and it's kind of funny becausewhen we're kids, we think, you know,
monsters might be into the bedor in the closet or whatever.
(34:45):
And then we grow up and werealize that was just our imagination.
But as adults, we have monsters.
I'm not good enough.
Monster, it's not my fault.
Monster, I have no time.
Monster, procrastination andall those others that really eat
our lunch.
So I created a product calledMaster your monsters.
It's free and it's an audiocourse with ten audios tackling particular
(35:06):
monsters.
This will help you overcome,change your relationship with and
lean into failure.
All of this is something Igive to you because I love you.
I know that you're divine andcapable and there's nothing that
can can keep you from creatingyour ultimate life.
(35:27):
Never hold back and you'llnever ask why.
Open your heart.
And this time around, righthere, right now, your opportunity
for massive growth is right infront of you.
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
(35:48):
If you you want to know more,go to kellenfluecigermedia.com if
you want more free tools, gohere YourUltimate Life CA subscribe
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