September 18, 2025 • 28 mins
Do you spend almost an hour getting everyone else ready, but barely grab coffee for yourself? Handle more than a dozen family questions daily while getting maybe 90 minutes for yourself all week?
If you've ever thought, "If I don't handle this, it simply won't get done," this episode will shift everything for you.
Today, we're uncovering Major Mom Mistake #3: Being Everything to Everyone. This is a clever trap, wrapped up in what appears to be love—it tricks you into believing that being needed means you're truly valued. But it slowly chips away at who you are, one innocent "yes" at a time.
Listen, I know what it's like to look in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back. The woman who once dreamed big, burned with passion, and had purpose beyond meeting everyone else's needs. I've been exactly where you are.
In this episode, I'm sharing the gut-wrenching moment when I realized I had vanished—completely invisible within my own life. And more importantly, the truth that changed everything: Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's love in action.
What You'll Discover:
- Why the "everything to everyone" approach creates what I call the Identity Eraser Effect
- The dangerous lesson you're unintentionally teaching your family (and how to fix it)
- The difference between self-sacrifice, narcissistic selfishness, and strategic selfishness
- How boundaries aren't barricades—they're guardrails that keep love safe
- The surprising research from Dr. Brené Brown about the most compassionate people
- Exactly how to shift from depletion to reclaiming yourself without guilt
The Hard Truth: 71% of moms report being most strongly defined by their motherhood. That means millions of women are struggling to remember who they are beyond their roles. You're not alone in this.
But here's what I want you to imagine: Waking up with genuine eagerness for the day ahead instead of dreading what everyone will need from you. Your family is empowered and capable, no longer viewing you as their personal assistant. Your marriage is flourishing in true partnership, free from resentment.
This isn't about becoming someone entirely new. It's about powerfully remembering the magnificent woman you were before you slowly disappeared into everyone else's needs.
Y'all, you are more than everyone's everything. You are someone. And it's time you started believing that.
Resources Mentioned
- Dr. Brené Brown's research on compassion and boundaries
- Michelle Obama is an example of maintaining identity while being a devoted mother
📲Empower a friend who needs to hear this, letting her know she’s not alone in her struggles - Share this episode today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Misty Celli (00:00):
Do you have an overflowing calendar, with days
that never seem to end and notime left for yourself?
Do you feel simultaneouslyimportant, like a central pillar
holding everything together,but have been experiencing this
nagging feeling for the lastseveral months, like your
immense efforts are vanishinginto thin air, like no one sees
what you're actually doing?
Maybe you're one of those momswho spends almost an hour
getting everything ready foreveryone else's day but barely
(00:22):
has enough time to grab yourselfsome coffee.
You handle more than a dozenfamily questions and needs per
day, dedicating almost yourentire week to everyone else's
needs, but find that you'regetting maybe an hour and a half
of time for yourself.
And, more importantly, when wasthe last time you said to
yourself if I don't handle this,it simply won't get done,
because they need me, and thisis what a good mom does.
(00:43):
That's what I'm here for.
Perhaps the most chillingthought of all, the one that
truly cuts deep and has beenhaunting you for weeks, is that
whisper that says I no longerknow who I am.
I have no idea what I trulydesire and, honestly, I feel
kind of lost.
I feel like I've lost myself.
If any of this resonates withyou, then I am betting you're
experiencing one of thefollowing the crushing
(01:05):
exhaustion of managingabsolutely everything for
everyone for years beingeveryone's indispensable go-to
person, constantly pulled in adozen directions daily.
That gnawing desire to havejust a little time for yourself
this week, but then instantlyrealize you have too much to do.
Or that perplexing confusionabout feeling unseen even when
you're surrounded by those youlove.
(01:27):
What about that conflictingdesire to say no?
Then instantly you feel selfish.
You don't want to disappointthem.
If you have found yourselfnodding to one of those, this
episode is specifically for you.
Today we're going to get realabout what you need to do to
move from depletion so you canreclaim you and begin to
experience energy, getrestorative sleep, rediscover
(01:47):
true joy and experience deep,authentic connection, not just
with those you love, but withyour truest self.
We're about to uncover mistakenumber three.
This is a pervasive trap, onewhere you shift from being
everything to those you love ata devastating cost.
Remember, catch a glimpse ofyourself in the mirror and
barely recognize that womanstaring back.
The woman who once dreamed big,burned with passion and had
(02:08):
purpose beyond meeting everyoneelse's needs.
She seems to have disappeared.
I'm Misty Chelle, and this isyour Utmost Life, the podcast
for moms who feel guilty forwanting more and can't remember
the last time they truly feltlike themselves.
If you're tired of feelinginvisible in your own life,
overwhelmed with the endlessdemands that you're carrying and
don't know who you are beyond amom and a wife, you've come to
the right place.
(02:29):
Here we are putting you backinto your life, because here's
the truth.
You're not just everything toeveryone.
You're a unique, powerful womanwith dreams that matter, goals
that count and a voice thatdeserves to be heard.
It's time to move from beingjust fine to utmost living,
without guilt, overwhelm orupheaval, becoming an utmost
woman who doesn't just exist.
She lives life with intention,creates meaningful impact in and
(02:52):
out of her family.
So stick around, we're justgetting started.
Hello, welcome back to a newepisode of your Utmost Life
Podcast.
Today we're continuing ourseries called the six major mom
mistakes and how to fix them.
These are the most commonmistakes I see moms making and,
honestly, I too made thesemistakes for years.
They are natural acts that allloving moms make that become
(03:13):
habits that don't just make usfeel invisible, undervalued and
constantly stressed out.
They leave us completely worndown and disconnected, not just
from those we love, but fromourselves.
We end up going through lifeoperating on autopilot and
eventually feeling drained andused up and honestly longing for
something more, but have noidea what more actually means.
(03:34):
Today we're diving into mistakenumber three, and this one is
huge.
It's a clever trap that feelslike the right thing to do, even
noble, and it's wrapped up inwhat looks like love.
It tricks you into believingthat being needed means you're
valued.
However, it slowly chips awayat who you are one innocent, yes
, at a time.
Making you believe your worthis only about what you do for
(03:57):
others, not the amazing personyou really are.
And eventually this trap causesdeep resentment and it destroys
all that you are building.
It looks like strength on theoutside, but it leaves you
completely exhausted on theinside.
And it promises connection butonly delivers loneliness.
What I've consistently observedin truly exceptional mothers is
(04:18):
this unwavering devotion, awillingness to pour every ounce
of themselves into their family.
They love their family deeply,are incredibly grateful for them
and want nothing more than toensure their loved ones thrive,
feel truly adored and experiencegenuine joy.
Yet this very deep love, thisintense devotion, can tragically
become a sneaky trap thatslowly, quietly, makes the
(04:41):
vibrant woman everyone loveddisappear.
The invisible mama has pouredherself into everyone else and
now feels erased.
She longs to feel seen, valuedand purposeful again, but can't
seem to be doing enough, pouringherself out enough to get that
alive, seen and valued feelingback.
She lies awake at night, criesin the shower and just feels
empty.
Utmost woman who lives alignedwith her true identity, with
(05:03):
confidence, clarity and joy.
She's thriving.
Every day is full of joy, love,connection with who she is and
those she loves.
She feels light, rested,confidently moving through her
day with purpose, living hergreatest life.
What truly shatters my heart isthat those invisible mamas and
their selfless, almost heroicquest to give everyone else
(05:23):
absolutely everything, theseextraordinary giving women
unintentionally instill adangerous, unspoken belief in
their family that moms requirenothing, that mom desires
nothing and that mom simplydoesn't matter as much as
everyone else.
What I experienced and what youmay be experiencing is now what
I call the identity erasereffect.
(05:43):
You may be experiencing is nowwhat I call the identity eraser
effect.
It's when women systematicallyerase themselves from their own
lives through constantself-sacrifice disguised as love
.
They lovingly manage everyoneelse's life to ensure that
nothing is missed, doingeverything they can to ensure
that everything runs smoothlyfor everyone, while neglecting
their own.
And unknowingly, they startbelieving their worth comes from
productivity and service toothers rather than who they
(06:06):
inherently are.
And the truth is, I totallyunderstand this.
I used to be there.
I was living with thatoverwhelming desire to please
and that deep seated convictionthat saying no meant that I was
letting others down.
I was feeling completelyselfish for even entertaining
the thought of moving somethingfor myself onto the top of my
to-do list With so much thatneeded to be done for everyone
(06:28):
else in the household.
What was I thinking?
But what if I told you thatsaying no wasn't selfish but the
most generous act you couldoffer, because it allows you to
bring your best self not yourdepleted self to those you love?
I'll never forget thatgut-wrenching moment that I
fully grasped that I hadvanished utterly, completely
invisible within the very fabricof my own life.
(06:50):
I was driving home from anotherlong day of doing what I
thought I was supposed to bedoing meticulously managing a
household that outwardly ranwith this flawless, like
clockwork precision, ensuringthat every single person's needs
were met without fail.
From the outside, I presented apicture of effortless composure
, as I had everything perfectlyunder control, but inside I was
(07:14):
utterly, completely drowning ina sea of unspoken burdens.
I had been spending countlessyears relentlessly being the
ultimate everything to everyone,the flawless wife who
effortlessly handled everysingle logistical detail.
The tirelessly devoted motherwho intuitively anticipated
their every single need.
The unfailing, reliabledaughter, the steadfast,
(07:36):
dependable friend, until Icompletely, utterly lost sight
of the vibrant woman I truly was.
I was so consumed with ensuringthat everyone else felt
cherished and undeniably caredfor that, ironically, I had
become a hollow, unrecognizablestranger in my own skin, a ghost
living in this half-life.
And the cost?
The cost was so gradual.
(07:59):
Day by day, the world that I hadworked so hard to make perfect
began to disappear.
I was so focused on that goldstar.
You know the one, the one thatsays you are a good mom, you are
doing everything you'resupposed to be doing, missing
the treasure to get to the shinyrock.
My marriage was crumbling, notfrom a lack of love, but because
(08:21):
I no longer existed.
I had become so deeplyresentful of shouldering every
single burden alone, whilemasterfully maintaining this
facade that everything wasperfectly fine.
My relationships with my kidsfelt fractured because I was
constantly managing their livesinstead of simply connecting
with them.
As their mother and as a person, I was existing in this life
(08:42):
that was beautiful and brightfor everyone but me.
Their life was unfolding inthese vibrant colors, but when I
looked at the picture of ourlife, I was in the background
and I was slowly disappearing.
That day in the car.
Everything just changed.
The heartbreaking truth hit meIn my constant drive to make
everyone else happy, I hadactually started removing myself
(09:03):
out of everything and wasmaking everyone miserable,
especially myself.
The very love I tried so hardto show by saying yes to
everything turned into bitterresentment, this bone deep
exhaustion and horrific feelingthat I simply didn't matter.
I had not only taught my familya corrosive lesson, but also
myself that mom has no needs, nowants, no dreams of her own,
(09:25):
and it was quietly dismantlingthem.
Our life together as a familyand me as a person.
But here's the truth thegreatest gift that you can teach
your family is that everyone,including mom, deserves joy and
fulfillment.
It was then I truly knew withabsolute certainty that a
fundamental change wasnon-negotiable, not just for my
(09:46):
own future, but for the veryfamily I love so fiercely, that
I had been slowly, painfullyerasing my own existence to
serve them.
Perhaps you too have had thatmoment where it just hits you,
that sudden clear realizationthat being invisible was simply
too much to bear.
And now you're left thinkingI've been stuck in this pattern
for so long.
Changing feels impossible and Ihave no idea where to even
(10:10):
start.
But what if it's not aboutcompletely tearing down your
life?
What if it's simply aboutrediscovering who you truly are,
your needs, step by manageablestep, so that you're not faded
into the background anymore, butback in the frame, vibrant and
(10:30):
present in the picture of yourown life?
And think about this Is itreally selfish to care for
yourself, or is it actually themost loving thing you could do,
showing your family what itlooks like to live with energy,
joy, fulfillment, instead ofrunning on empty?
Because here's the deal Takingcare of yourself isn't selfish,
it's love in action, becausewhen your family sees you living
with joy and purpose, theylearn that everyone's needs
(10:51):
matter.
You're not just teaching themwith words, you're shaping how
they'll treat themselves, theirfuture spouses and even how
they'll show up in the world.
That kind of modeling is themost powerful lesson of all, and
it's a gift that will ripplethrough your children's lives,
your marriage and generations tocome.
When you tell yourself thatsaying no is selfish, what
(11:13):
you're really exposing is acrack in yourself, for
Boundaries aren't barricadesmeant to push people away.
They're guardrails that keeplove steady and safe.
Without them, what starts aslove can twist into resentment,
distance from people you loveand a storm of inner turmoil.
And here's what you have toremember your kids are always
watching, no matter their age.
(11:34):
It doesn't matter if they're 5,15, or 25.
They're learning what lovelooks like from you.
So if you keep believing thatsaying no makes you selfish,
what do they walk away with?
The belief that their valuecomes from self-erasure.
Daughters will carry thatinvisibility into their own
lives.
Sons will struggle to love andbe loved in healthy ways.
(11:55):
This isn't just about you.
It's generational.
It's not really about saying no.
It's about showing your familywhat healthy love actually looks
like, love that comes fromchoice, not guilt or obligation.
I've seen it both ways Women whosay yes to everything until
their marriages collapse underthe weight of living by a broken
guidebook.
And then there are these womenwho hold strong to what I call
(12:17):
strategic selfishness, theseboundaries creating families
that actually feel more loved,not less.
So how do you get out of thisagonizing struggle with the
belief that your worth is tiedto how much you give.
It starts with a powerful shiftin perspective, moving from the
problem frame of constantself-sacrifice to the solution
frame of intentionalself-reclamation.
(12:39):
And here's some interestingresearch that I found.
In her 13 years of research onvulnerability and compassion, dr
Brene Brown discoveredsomething surprising the most
compassionate people weren't theones saying yes to everything.
They were the ones with thestrongest boundaries.
They weren't giving from aplace of chronic depletion.
They were giving from genuouslypouring from the absolute
(13:01):
fullness.
You're not alone in the struggle, and I want you to hear that
this isn't an attack to you.
This is something that 71% ofmoms are reported being most
strongly defined by theirmotherhood.
That means that millions ofwomen are carrying the same
weight, struggling to rememberwho they are beyond their roles.
(13:23):
So I want you to imagine justfor a moment.
Just for a moment.
Imagine this future where youwake up with genuine eagerness
for the day ahead, instead ofdreading about what everyone
will need from you on top of analready packed day.
You feel real joy, not as aluxury, but as something that
naturally is yours.
Coming from this place of truerest, not forced effort.
(13:46):
Your family is empowered andcapable and naturally begins to
navigate their own challengesbecause they're no longer
unconsciously trained to viewyou as their personal,
ever-present assistant.
Your relationships havedeepened because you're
connected as a whole, vibrantperson, not just someone
managing everyone else's needs,and your marriage flourishes in
true partnership.
(14:07):
Once more, free from the heavyburden of resentment you've been
carrying, from shoulderingevery burden, you'll discover a
deeper purpose and fulfillmentthat goes beyond your roles,
truly grounding you in who youare.
And if that wasn't enough,you're leaving a transformative
legacy.
Your children internalize theprofound truth that women matter
intrinsically, not just forwhat they do for others, but for
(14:29):
who they are.
And you'll teach your childrenthe best lesson of all that
taking care of yourself isn'tselfish.
It's how you build a lifethat's full, authentic and
joyful.
This isn't about becoming adifferent person.
It's about courageouslyuncovering the magnificent woman
who's been waiting patiently.
She's been waiting beneathyears of shoulds and
(14:52):
expectations, and letting heremerge and shine as she should
have always been is what shedesires.
It's what you desire.
The question isn't whether thistransformation shift is
possible.
It's how could you begin toreclaim your time, your energy
and your authentic self If youtruly choose and commit to
finding a way.
I have lived every step of thisjourney.
But let's look at someone youknow, michelle Obama.
She maintained her career,pursued her own passions and
(15:16):
never lost herself in being amom of two and just a political
wife.
She wrote books, championedcauses, she cared about and
showed up as her full self.
Did this make her a worsemother?
Absolutely not.
Her daughter saw a woman whovalued herself, pursued her
dreams and created impact beyondtheir family.
She modeled what it meant beinga woman with your own identity,
(15:36):
not just serving others.
So the real question isn't isit possible?
It is, but are you finallyready to choose?
To choose you, to choose to nolonger wait for external
permission to truly matter inyour own precious life?
This isn't about striving tobecome someone entirely new.
This is about powerfullyremembering the magnificent
(15:56):
woman you were before you slowlydisappeared into the
overwhelming tide of everyoneelse's needs.
That woman inside of you, withall of those passions, dreams,
love, vitality, she's stillthere waiting and she's been
calling you to come back home toher.
Coming an utmost woman is themost transformative, lasting,
guilt-free way to move frominvisible, disconnected, burnt
(16:17):
out to a woman who lives herlife with intention, creates
meaningful impact and shows upas her full, authentic self in
every area of her life.
And this journey back to yourauthentic self is not merely for
your own liberation.
It's the profound catalyst fortransforming the entire dynamic
of your family.
Remember that startlingstatistic I mentioned earlier,
that 71% of moms report beingmost strongly defined by their
(16:40):
motherhood.
There's a crucial, oftenmisunderstood, difference
between three distinctiveapproaches to motherhood the
path of unrelentlesslyself-sacrifice, which
paradoxically breeds bitterresentment and ultimately
creates invisible mamas.
The damaging extreme ofnarcissistic selfishness, which
inevitably harms and diminisheschildren.
But there's a third way, abetter way, a powerful
(17:03):
transformation.
When you courageously move frombeing invisible mama to utmost
woman, you don't just survive.
You meticulously cultivate athriving, flourishing family
where every single member,including you, matters deeply
and is living their life to thegreatest extent possible.
Let me unravel this for you,piece by painful piece.
Self-sacrifice looks like thisyou reflexively say yes to every
(17:26):
single demand, meticulouslymanage every last logistical
detail, tirelessly anticipateeveryone's unspoken needs and in
doing so, gradually,heartbreakingly, you simply
vanish.
Your family unwittinglyinternalizes a distorted lesson
of love that true affectionmeans one person constantly
gives everything while everyoneelse passively takes to thrive
(17:49):
your children, witnessing thisrelentless pattern, grow up with
a faulty roadmap, believingthat adulthood is synonymous
with misery, leading them downone of two equally unhealthy
roads Either becoming anxious,perpetually people-pleasing
themselves, or developing adeep-seated expectation that
others exist solely to servetheir needs.
Your marriage devolves into aloving partnership, into a cold,
(18:13):
transactional businessarrangement, with you as the
perpetual overworked, underpaidmanager.
Narcissistic selfishness is thepolar opposite, a destructive
ideology where you ruthlesslyprioritize yourself relentlessly
, at the profound expense ofeveryone else.
It's the cold echoing mantraI'm the sole priority, your
needs are less important than I,and do you know how much I
(18:36):
deserve this?
The scientific research of thisfamily dynamic is unequivocally
clear.
Children raised under thisinfluence suffer profoundly,
developing a boatload of severeemotional and psychological
challenges.
They're unwittingly taught adistorted transactional model of
connection that allrelationships are mere vehicles
for taking, never for genuinereciprocal giving.
(18:57):
But here's the deal, what Icall strategic selfishness.
The real journey of becoming anutmost woman doesn't look
anything like what the worldthinks selfishness is.
It's not about shutting peopleout or only thinking yourself.
It's about this simple,life-changing truth you matter
and they matter To live fromthat truth.
Everything shifts.
Your kids learn by watching youthat healthy adults don't run
(19:21):
themselves into the ground toprove love.
They Care of themselves so theycan show up as whole, joyful
and present adults.
Your marriage deepens, notbecause you're giving more, but
because you and your spouse areboth grounded, self-aware and
bringing your whole selves intothe relationship.
Your children grow stronger andmore independent because
they're no longer quietlytrained to see you as their
on-call service provider.
(19:41):
When you embody the utmostwoman, you're not forced to
choose between your energy andyour family's well-being.
You're actually choosing themost alive, fulfilled version of
yourself, the version thatcreates this healthiest,
happiest family dynamic withouteven trying.
That's modeling real love.
That's showing them what itmeans to be a whole adult, and
(20:01):
it couldn't be more differentfrom the martyrdom that we've
been sold as love.
Yet even with this newfoundclarity, there's often a
stubborn voice that tries topull you back, that insidious
whisper that says saying nomeans you don't care Simply a
cruel, guilt-based manipulationthat traps you, stopping you
from real freedom.
It's like an invisible chainmade from feeling obligated and
(20:23):
fearing disappointment.
It's like an invisible chainmade from feeling obligated and
fearing disappointment,convincing you that your love is
only real if you're constantlyexhausting yourself to comply.
This deep-seated belief thatkeeps you overwhelmed, resentful
and completely drained, alwayssacrificing your own needs for
what you think you should bedoing.
But here's the powerful truththat Whisper doesn't want you to
know the people who genuinelylove you.
(20:43):
Don't want you to know thepeople who genuinely love you
don't want you to disappear.
They want you, the whole,vibrant woman.
You are not just what you cando for them.
Think about it.
When you love someone, do youwant them to sacrifice
themselves for you?
Of course not.
You want them to be happy,fulfilled and thriving.
Yet somehow we've been taught tobelieve that our love is only
(21:05):
real if it means erasingourselves.
That's not love, that'scodependency, and by living this
way, we're accidentallyteaching our families a terrible
lie that women don't matterbeyond their usefulness.
The undeniable truth is thiswhen you courageously say no to
what drains you and doesn'ttruly serve you, you are
(21:26):
actually powerfully saying yesto showing up as your best, most
authentic self, for what trulymatters.
And when you protect yourenergy, you have more real,
overflowing love to share.
When you model self-respect andhealthy boundaries, you are
teaching your children that theymatter too, creating a legacy
of self-worth and a balancedrelationships.
(21:46):
That nagging guilt that you feelwhen you even think about
saying no.
It's not your conscious talking.
It's years of old programmingthat convinced you that your
worth comes from your output.
But you are not a vendingmachine for everyone else's
needs.
You are a magnificent womanwith dreams, desires and a
purpose that goes far beyondbeing everyone's everything.
(22:07):
The most radical thing you cando is start truly believing deep
down that you matter.
How do we finally break freefrom those chains and step into
new reality?
It's not about adding more toyour already overflowing plate.
It's about strategicallyremoving the weight that's been
dragging you down and reclaimingthe boundless energy that is
inherently yours.
(22:27):
It's a bit like finallyexhaling after holding your
breath for years.
The relief isn't complicated.
It's natural.
You're not learning somethingnew.
You're remembering somethingyou forgot that you matter too.
So let's get really practicalhere.
What does this transformationactually look like in your daily
life?
How does this shift feel?
First off, you know that littlevoice, the one that whispers oh
(22:50):
, if I don't do it, no one will.
You're going to call that outfor what it really is A total
lie, a sneaky trap designed tokeep you stuck.
Because here's the honest truthyour family.
They're way more capable thanyou've been giving them credit
for.
Instead of staying up at night,you know, till midnight
researching college applications, scholarships for your 17 year
(23:11):
old, because they're so busywith school, you'll learn to say
I found three scholarshipwebsites.
You handle the applications.
They might complain at first,but they learn to advocate for
themselves and you reclaim yourprecious evenings.
Next, we tackle the power of no.
This isn't about being mean ornot caring.
It's about strategicallylearning to say no to the fine
(23:32):
things so that you canwholeheartedly say yes to the
right things for you.
You'll finally grasp that yourtime and energy aren't infinite.
They're precious, finiteresources that deserve to be
fiercely protected and investedwisely.
Request to volunteer foranother school committee or host
another meeting when you'realready exhausted.
You'll learn to say that soundswonderful, but I'm unable at
(23:53):
this time.
If something changes, I willlet you know.
Not, I'm too busy, but a simple, firm boundary that honors your
capacity.
And then, the most beautifulpart of all, you'll start to
recognize that incredible womanyou were before the world
convinced you to be everythingto everyone.
She's still in there, I promiseyou.
She's just waiting patiently,underneath all of those heavy
(24:14):
layers of obligation and soulcrushing guilt.
And guess what she has?
Dreams, vibrant opinions and adesire that absolutely
unequivocally matters.
Finally, say yes to that girlstrip your friends have been
planning for two years.
Or you start taking thatevening art class that you've
been putting off because someoneneeds to be home for dinner,
even though your kids areperfectly capable of making
their own food.
(24:34):
You might feel guilty at first,but then something magically
happens you remember what itfeels like to laugh until your
stomach hurts to learn somethingnew, just because it interests
you to have conversations aboutsomething other than everyone
else's schedules.
You'll feel a forgotten sparkignite, a quiet joy bubbling up
from simply being you.
But let's be honest for a moment.
(24:56):
What happens if you don'taddress these patterns?
If you keep listening to thatwhisper and living by those old
rules?
Here's the harsh truth of whatinaction costs you.
Current exhaustion will onlyget worse, becoming a constant
draining present that dims yourlight to almost nothing.
Your relationships won't getbetter.
Instead, they'll keep sufferingfrom your quiet resentment,
(25:16):
creating a growing emotionaldistance.
Your children, even thoughloved, will keep learning that
mom's needs don't matter,setting them up for a dangerous
cycle of self-neglect in theirown lives.
And that feeling ofdisappearing it won't just hang
around, it will become youractual reality, leaving you
feeling completely lost anddisconnected from who you used
to be.
Here's what I instinctively knowabout you You're not going to
(25:37):
just listen to this and hopethings magically change
overnight.
You're done waiting.
You're ready to take action.
That, my friend, is preciselywhy I poured everything into
creating a brand new three-dayReclaiming who you Are Beyond
Mom and Wife event.
This isn't just another fluffy,feel-good workshop that leaves
you inspired one moment andunchangeable next.
(25:58):
This is a strategic,step-by-step blueprint designed
specifically for women who aretruly done being invisible and
are absolutely ready to becomethe fearless architect of their
own extraordinary life.
You will not want to miss thisevent.
There will be more detailscoming soon, so let's take a
step back and look at a wholepicture, shall we?
You've been living with anoverflowing calendar, days that
(26:20):
never truly end and no time leftfor you.
You feel simultaneouslyindispensable to everyone, yet
utterly invisible, like yourimmense efforts are vanished
into thin air.
That relentless whisper of if Idon't handle this, it simply
won't get done, because theyneed me, and this is what good
moms do, that's what I'm herefor.
It echoes in your mind, leadingto the heartbreaking
(26:41):
realization I no longerrecognize myself.
I'm slowly fading away.
This isn't just about becomingbusy.
It's about the identity erasereffect a deeply ingrained belief
that saying no means that youdon't care.
A cruel, guilt-basedmanipulation that keeps you
trapped, sacrificing your ownvitality.
We've seen how unrelentingself-sacrifice leads to
(27:02):
resentment and invisible mamas,while narcissistic selfishness
damages children.
The crushing cost of notchanging is that nigh exhaustion
will only deepen.
Your relationships will sufferfrom unspoken resentment and
your children will learn adangerous cycle of self-neglect,
and that feeling ofdisappearing will become your
stark reality.
Are you ready to stop waitingfor permission to matter in your
(27:23):
own magnificent light, ifyou've already said I'm fine
three or four times before 10 amwhen you're absolutely not, or
if you've canceled more thanhalf the things you wanted to do
for yourself in the last sixmonths because of family needs
that honestly could have waited?
That's exactly why I createdthe three-day reclaiming who you
are beyond mom and wife event.
This is for you.
(27:43):
Over these three days, we'regoing to uncover the real
reasons you feel invisible,loosen the guilt that's been
keeping you stuck and take oneconcrete step toward the woman
you know is still in there.
And here's the thing this isn'tabout flipping your life upside
down or suddenly becomingselfish.
Self-worth doesn't expire itgets buried under years of doing
(28:04):
and serving.
If sacrificing yourselfcompletely made families thrive,
wouldn't every self-sacrificingmama have the perfect home life
?
We both know that that is notthe case.
So imagine this instead wakingup excited instead of already
behind at 5 30 am for the 847thday in a row, having meaningful
conversations with your spousemore than once a month, and
(28:24):
remembering what it feels liketo actually have space for your
own voice, your own needs andyour own dreams.
This is your invitation tostart reclaiming that space.
So, if you're ready, click thelink below to get on the
priority notice list to be thefirst to reserve your spot for
the three-day reclaiming who,who you Are, beyond Mom and Wife
event.
Now and start your journey backto yourself.
(28:45):
Hear me when I say this you aremore than everything to
everyone.
You are someone and you matter.
Do you have an overflowing calendar, with days
that never seem to end and notime left for yourself?
Do you feel simultaneouslyimportant, like a central pillar
holding everything together,but have been experiencing this
nagging feeling for the lastseveral months, like your
immense efforts are vanishinginto thin air, like no one sees
what you're actually doing?
Maybe you're one of those momswho spends almost an hour
getting everything ready foreveryone else's day but barely
(00:22):
has enough time to grab yourselfsome coffee.
You handle more than a dozenfamily questions and needs per
day, dedicating almost yourentire week to everyone else's
needs, but find that you'regetting maybe an hour and a half
of time for yourself.
And, more importantly, when wasthe last time you said to
yourself if I don't handle this,it simply won't get done,
because they need me, and thisis what a good mom does.
(00:43):
That's what I'm here for.
Perhaps the most chillingthought of all, the one that
truly cuts deep and has beenhaunting you for weeks, is that
whisper that says I no longerknow who I am.
I have no idea what I trulydesire and, honestly, I feel
kind of lost.
I feel like I've lost myself.
If any of this resonates withyou, then I am betting you're
experiencing one of thefollowing the crushing
(01:05):
exhaustion of managingabsolutely everything for
everyone for years beingeveryone's indispensable go-to
person, constantly pulled in adozen directions daily.
That gnawing desire to havejust a little time for yourself
this week, but then instantlyrealize you have too much to do.
Or that perplexing confusionabout feeling unseen even when
you're surrounded by those youlove.
(01:27):
What about that conflictingdesire to say no?
Then instantly you feel selfish.
You don't want to disappointthem.
If you have found yourselfnodding to one of those, this
episode is specifically for you.
Today we're going to get realabout what you need to do to
move from depletion so you canreclaim you and begin to
experience energy, getrestorative sleep, rediscover
(01:47):
true joy and experience deep,authentic connection, not just
with those you love, but withyour truest self.
We're about to uncover mistakenumber three.
This is a pervasive trap, onewhere you shift from being
everything to those you love ata devastating cost.
Remember, catch a glimpse ofyourself in the mirror and
barely recognize that womanstaring back.
The woman who once dreamed big,burned with passion and had
(02:08):
purpose beyond meeting everyoneelse's needs.
She seems to have disappeared.
I'm Misty Chelle, and this isyour Utmost Life, the podcast
for moms who feel guilty forwanting more and can't remember
the last time they truly feltlike themselves.
If you're tired of feelinginvisible in your own life,
overwhelmed with the endlessdemands that you're carrying and
don't know who you are beyond amom and a wife, you've come to
the right place.
(02:29):
Here we are putting you backinto your life, because here's
the truth.
You're not just everything toeveryone.
You're a unique, powerful womanwith dreams that matter, goals
that count and a voice thatdeserves to be heard.
It's time to move from beingjust fine to utmost living,
without guilt, overwhelm orupheaval, becoming an utmost
woman who doesn't just exist.
She lives life with intention,creates meaningful impact in and
(02:52):
out of her family.
So stick around, we're justgetting started.
Hello, welcome back to a newepisode of your Utmost Life
Podcast.
Today we're continuing ourseries called the six major mom
mistakes and how to fix them.
These are the most commonmistakes I see moms making and,
honestly, I too made thesemistakes for years.
They are natural acts that allloving moms make that become
(03:13):
habits that don't just make usfeel invisible, undervalued and
constantly stressed out.
They leave us completely worndown and disconnected, not just
from those we love, but fromourselves.
We end up going through lifeoperating on autopilot and
eventually feeling drained andused up and honestly longing for
something more, but have noidea what more actually means.
(03:34):
Today we're diving into mistakenumber three, and this one is
huge.
It's a clever trap that feelslike the right thing to do, even
noble, and it's wrapped up inwhat looks like love.
It tricks you into believingthat being needed means you're
valued.
However, it slowly chips awayat who you are one innocent, yes
, at a time.
Making you believe your worthis only about what you do for
(03:57):
others, not the amazing personyou really are.
And eventually this trap causesdeep resentment and it destroys
all that you are building.
It looks like strength on theoutside, but it leaves you
completely exhausted on theinside.
And it promises connection butonly delivers loneliness.
What I've consistently observedin truly exceptional mothers is
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this unwavering devotion, awillingness to pour every ounce
of themselves into their family.
They love their family deeply,are incredibly grateful for them
and want nothing more than toensure their loved ones thrive,
feel truly adored and experiencegenuine joy.
Yet this very deep love, thisintense devotion, can tragically
become a sneaky trap thatslowly, quietly, makes the
(04:41):
vibrant woman everyone loveddisappear.
The invisible mama has pouredherself into everyone else and
now feels erased.
She longs to feel seen, valuedand purposeful again, but can't
seem to be doing enough, pouringherself out enough to get that
alive, seen and valued feelingback.
She lies awake at night, criesin the shower and just feels
empty.
Utmost woman who lives alignedwith her true identity, with
(05:03):
confidence, clarity and joy.
She's thriving.
Every day is full of joy, love,connection with who she is and
those she loves.
She feels light, rested,confidently moving through her
day with purpose, living hergreatest life.
What truly shatters my heart isthat those invisible mamas and
their selfless, almost heroicquest to give everyone else
(05:23):
absolutely everything, theseextraordinary giving women
unintentionally instill adangerous, unspoken belief in
their family that moms requirenothing, that mom desires
nothing and that mom simplydoesn't matter as much as
everyone else.
What I experienced and what youmay be experiencing is now what
I call the identity erasereffect.
(05:43):
You may be experiencing is nowwhat I call the identity eraser
effect.
It's when women systematicallyerase themselves from their own
lives through constantself-sacrifice disguised as love
.
They lovingly manage everyoneelse's life to ensure that
nothing is missed, doingeverything they can to ensure
that everything runs smoothlyfor everyone, while neglecting
their own.
And unknowingly, they startbelieving their worth comes from
productivity and service toothers rather than who they
(06:06):
inherently are.
And the truth is, I totallyunderstand this.
I used to be there.
I was living with thatoverwhelming desire to please
and that deep seated convictionthat saying no meant that I was
letting others down.
I was feeling completelyselfish for even entertaining
the thought of moving somethingfor myself onto the top of my
to-do list With so much thatneeded to be done for everyone
(06:28):
else in the household.
What was I thinking?
But what if I told you thatsaying no wasn't selfish but the
most generous act you couldoffer, because it allows you to
bring your best self not yourdepleted self to those you love?
I'll never forget thatgut-wrenching moment that I
fully grasped that I hadvanished utterly, completely
invisible within the very fabricof my own life.
(06:50):
I was driving home from anotherlong day of doing what I
thought I was supposed to bedoing meticulously managing a
household that outwardly ranwith this flawless, like
clockwork precision, ensuringthat every single person's needs
were met without fail.
From the outside, I presented apicture of effortless composure
, as I had everything perfectlyunder control, but inside I was
(07:14):
utterly, completely drowning ina sea of unspoken burdens.
I had been spending countlessyears relentlessly being the
ultimate everything to everyone,the flawless wife who
effortlessly handled everysingle logistical detail.
The tirelessly devoted motherwho intuitively anticipated
their every single need.
The unfailing, reliabledaughter, the steadfast,
(07:36):
dependable friend, until Icompletely, utterly lost sight
of the vibrant woman I truly was.
I was so consumed with ensuringthat everyone else felt
cherished and undeniably caredfor that, ironically, I had
become a hollow, unrecognizablestranger in my own skin, a ghost
living in this half-life.
And the cost?
The cost was so gradual.
(07:59):
Day by day, the world that I hadworked so hard to make perfect
began to disappear.
I was so focused on that goldstar.
You know the one, the one thatsays you are a good mom, you are
doing everything you'resupposed to be doing, missing
the treasure to get to the shinyrock.
My marriage was crumbling, notfrom a lack of love, but because
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I no longer existed.
I had become so deeplyresentful of shouldering every
single burden alone, whilemasterfully maintaining this
facade that everything wasperfectly fine.
My relationships with my kidsfelt fractured because I was
constantly managing their livesinstead of simply connecting
with them.
As their mother and as a person, I was existing in this life
(08:42):
that was beautiful and brightfor everyone but me.
Their life was unfolding inthese vibrant colors, but when I
looked at the picture of ourlife, I was in the background
and I was slowly disappearing.
That day in the car.
Everything just changed.
The heartbreaking truth hit meIn my constant drive to make
everyone else happy, I hadactually started removing myself
(09:03):
out of everything and wasmaking everyone miserable,
especially myself.
The very love I tried so hardto show by saying yes to
everything turned into bitterresentment, this bone deep
exhaustion and horrific feelingthat I simply didn't matter.
I had not only taught my familya corrosive lesson, but also
myself that mom has no needs, nowants, no dreams of her own,
(09:25):
and it was quietly dismantlingthem.
Our life together as a familyand me as a person.
But here's the truth thegreatest gift that you can teach
your family is that everyone,including mom, deserves joy and
fulfillment.
It was then I truly knew withabsolute certainty that a
fundamental change wasnon-negotiable, not just for my
(09:46):
own future, but for the veryfamily I love so fiercely, that
I had been slowly, painfullyerasing my own existence to
serve them.
Perhaps you too have had thatmoment where it just hits you,
that sudden clear realizationthat being invisible was simply
too much to bear.
And now you're left thinkingI've been stuck in this pattern
for so long.
Changing feels impossible and Ihave no idea where to even
(10:10):
start.
But what if it's not aboutcompletely tearing down your
life?
What if it's simply aboutrediscovering who you truly are,
your needs, step by manageablestep, so that you're not faded
into the background anymore, butback in the frame, vibrant and
(10:30):
present in the picture of yourown life?
And think about this Is itreally selfish to care for
yourself, or is it actually themost loving thing you could do,
showing your family what itlooks like to live with energy,
joy, fulfillment, instead ofrunning on empty?
Because here's the deal Takingcare of yourself isn't selfish,
it's love in action, becausewhen your family sees you living
with joy and purpose, theylearn that everyone's needs
(10:51):
matter.
You're not just teaching themwith words, you're shaping how
they'll treat themselves, theirfuture spouses and even how
they'll show up in the world.
That kind of modeling is themost powerful lesson of all, and
it's a gift that will ripplethrough your children's lives,
your marriage and generations tocome.
When you tell yourself thatsaying no is selfish, what
(11:13):
you're really exposing is acrack in yourself, for
Boundaries aren't barricadesmeant to push people away.
They're guardrails that keeplove steady and safe.
Without them, what starts aslove can twist into resentment,
distance from people you loveand a storm of inner turmoil.
And here's what you have toremember your kids are always
watching, no matter their age.
(11:34):
It doesn't matter if they're 5,15, or 25.
They're learning what lovelooks like from you.
So if you keep believing thatsaying no makes you selfish,
what do they walk away with?
The belief that their valuecomes from self-erasure.
Daughters will carry thatinvisibility into their own
lives.
Sons will struggle to love andbe loved in healthy ways.
(11:55):
This isn't just about you.
It's generational.
It's not really about saying no.
It's about showing your familywhat healthy love actually looks
like, love that comes fromchoice, not guilt or obligation.
I've seen it both ways Women whosay yes to everything until
their marriages collapse underthe weight of living by a broken
guidebook.
And then there are these womenwho hold strong to what I call
(12:17):
strategic selfishness, theseboundaries creating families
that actually feel more loved,not less.
So how do you get out of thisagonizing struggle with the
belief that your worth is tiedto how much you give.
It starts with a powerful shiftin perspective, moving from the
problem frame of constantself-sacrifice to the solution
frame of intentionalself-reclamation.
(12:39):
And here's some interestingresearch that I found.
In her 13 years of research onvulnerability and compassion, dr
Brene Brown discoveredsomething surprising the most
compassionate people weren't theones saying yes to everything.
They were the ones with thestrongest boundaries.
They weren't giving from aplace of chronic depletion.
They were giving from genuouslypouring from the absolute
(13:01):
fullness.
You're not alone in the struggle, and I want you to hear that
this isn't an attack to you.
This is something that 71% ofmoms are reported being most
strongly defined by theirmotherhood.
That means that millions ofwomen are carrying the same
weight, struggling to rememberwho they are beyond their roles.
(13:23):
So I want you to imagine justfor a moment.
Just for a moment.
Imagine this future where youwake up with genuine eagerness
for the day ahead, instead ofdreading about what everyone
will need from you on top of analready packed day.
You feel real joy, not as aluxury, but as something that
naturally is yours.
Coming from this place of truerest, not forced effort.
(13:46):
Your family is empowered andcapable and naturally begins to
navigate their own challengesbecause they're no longer
unconsciously trained to viewyou as their personal,
ever-present assistant.
Your relationships havedeepened because you're
connected as a whole, vibrantperson, not just someone
managing everyone else's needs,and your marriage flourishes in
true partnership.
(14:07):
Once more, free from the heavyburden of resentment you've been
carrying, from shoulderingevery burden, you'll discover a
deeper purpose and fulfillmentthat goes beyond your roles,
truly grounding you in who youare.
And if that wasn't enough,you're leaving a transformative
legacy.
Your children internalize theprofound truth that women matter
intrinsically, not just forwhat they do for others, but for
(14:29):
who they are.
And you'll teach your childrenthe best lesson of all that
taking care of yourself isn'tselfish.
It's how you build a lifethat's full, authentic and
joyful.
This isn't about becoming adifferent person.
It's about courageouslyuncovering the magnificent woman
who's been waiting patiently.
She's been waiting beneathyears of shoulds and
(14:52):
expectations, and letting heremerge and shine as she should
have always been is what shedesires.
It's what you desire.
The question isn't whether thistransformation shift is
possible.
It's how could you begin toreclaim your time, your energy
and your authentic self If youtruly choose and commit to
finding a way.
I have lived every step of thisjourney.
But let's look at someone youknow, michelle Obama.
She maintained her career,pursued her own passions and
(15:16):
never lost herself in being amom of two and just a political
wife.
She wrote books, championedcauses, she cared about and
showed up as her full self.
Did this make her a worsemother?
Absolutely not.
Her daughter saw a woman whovalued herself, pursued her
dreams and created impact beyondtheir family.
She modeled what it meant beinga woman with your own identity,
(15:36):
not just serving others.
So the real question isn't isit possible?
It is, but are you finallyready to choose?
To choose you, to choose to nolonger wait for external
permission to truly matter inyour own precious life?
This isn't about striving tobecome someone entirely new.
This is about powerfullyremembering the magnificent
(15:56):
woman you were before you slowlydisappeared into the
overwhelming tide of everyoneelse's needs.
That woman inside of you, withall of those passions, dreams,
love, vitality, she's stillthere waiting and she's been
calling you to come back home toher.
Coming an utmost woman is themost transformative, lasting,
guilt-free way to move frominvisible, disconnected, burnt
(16:17):
out to a woman who lives herlife with intention, creates
meaningful impact and shows upas her full, authentic self in
every area of her life.
And this journey back to yourauthentic self is not merely for
your own liberation.
It's the profound catalyst fortransforming the entire dynamic
of your family.
Remember that startlingstatistic I mentioned earlier,
that 71% of moms report beingmost strongly defined by their
(16:40):
motherhood.
There's a crucial, oftenmisunderstood, difference
between three distinctiveapproaches to motherhood the
path of unrelentlesslyself-sacrifice, which
paradoxically breeds bitterresentment and ultimately
creates invisible mamas.
The damaging extreme ofnarcissistic selfishness, which
inevitably harms and diminisheschildren.
But there's a third way, abetter way, a powerful
(17:03):
transformation.
When you courageously move frombeing invisible mama to utmost
woman, you don't just survive.
You meticulously cultivate athriving, flourishing family
where every single member,including you, matters deeply
and is living their life to thegreatest extent possible.
Let me unravel this for you,piece by painful piece.
Self-sacrifice looks like thisyou reflexively say yes to every
(17:26):
single demand, meticulouslymanage every last logistical
detail, tirelessly anticipateeveryone's unspoken needs and in
doing so, gradually,heartbreakingly, you simply
vanish.
Your family unwittinglyinternalizes a distorted lesson
of love that true affectionmeans one person constantly
gives everything while everyoneelse passively takes to thrive
(17:49):
your children, witnessing thisrelentless pattern, grow up with
a faulty roadmap, believingthat adulthood is synonymous
with misery, leading them downone of two equally unhealthy
roads Either becoming anxious,perpetually people-pleasing
themselves, or developing adeep-seated expectation that
others exist solely to servetheir needs.
Your marriage devolves into aloving partnership, into a cold,
(18:13):
transactional businessarrangement, with you as the
perpetual overworked, underpaidmanager.
Narcissistic selfishness is thepolar opposite, a destructive
ideology where you ruthlesslyprioritize yourself relentlessly
, at the profound expense ofeveryone else.
It's the cold echoing mantraI'm the sole priority, your
needs are less important than I,and do you know how much I
(18:36):
deserve this?
The scientific research of thisfamily dynamic is unequivocally
clear.
Children raised under thisinfluence suffer profoundly,
developing a boatload of severeemotional and psychological
challenges.
They're unwittingly taught adistorted transactional model of
connection that allrelationships are mere vehicles
for taking, never for genuinereciprocal giving.
(18:57):
But here's the deal, what Icall strategic selfishness.
The real journey of becoming anutmost woman doesn't look
anything like what the worldthinks selfishness is.
It's not about shutting peopleout or only thinking yourself.
It's about this simple,life-changing truth you matter
and they matter To live fromthat truth.
Everything shifts.
Your kids learn by watching youthat healthy adults don't run
(19:21):
themselves into the ground toprove love.
They Care of themselves so theycan show up as whole, joyful
and present adults.
Your marriage deepens, notbecause you're giving more, but
because you and your spouse areboth grounded, self-aware and
bringing your whole selves intothe relationship.
Your children grow stronger andmore independent because
they're no longer quietlytrained to see you as their
on-call service provider.
(19:41):
When you embody the utmostwoman, you're not forced to
choose between your energy andyour family's well-being.
You're actually choosing themost alive, fulfilled version of
yourself, the version thatcreates this healthiest,
happiest family dynamic withouteven trying.
That's modeling real love.
That's showing them what itmeans to be a whole adult, and
(20:01):
it couldn't be more differentfrom the martyrdom that we've
been sold as love.
Yet even with this newfoundclarity, there's often a
stubborn voice that tries topull you back, that insidious
whisper that says saying nomeans you don't care Simply a
cruel, guilt-based manipulationthat traps you, stopping you
from real freedom.
It's like an invisible chainmade from feeling obligated and
(20:23):
fearing disappointment.
It's like an invisible chainmade from feeling obligated and
fearing disappointment,convincing you that your love is
only real if you're constantlyexhausting yourself to comply.
This deep-seated belief thatkeeps you overwhelmed, resentful
and completely drained, alwayssacrificing your own needs for
what you think you should bedoing.
But here's the powerful truththat Whisper doesn't want you to
know the people who genuinelylove you.
(20:43):
Don't want you to know thepeople who genuinely love you
don't want you to disappear.
They want you, the whole,vibrant woman.
You are not just what you cando for them.
Think about it.
When you love someone, do youwant them to sacrifice
themselves for you?
Of course not.
You want them to be happy,fulfilled and thriving.
Yet somehow we've been taught tobelieve that our love is only
(21:05):
real if it means erasingourselves.
That's not love, that'scodependency, and by living this
way, we're accidentallyteaching our families a terrible
lie that women don't matterbeyond their usefulness.
The undeniable truth is thiswhen you courageously say no to
what drains you and doesn'ttruly serve you, you are
(21:26):
actually powerfully saying yesto showing up as your best, most
authentic self, for what trulymatters.
And when you protect yourenergy, you have more real,
overflowing love to share.
When you model self-respect andhealthy boundaries, you are
teaching your children that theymatter too, creating a legacy
of self-worth and a balancedrelationships.
(21:46):
That nagging guilt that you feelwhen you even think about
saying no.
It's not your conscious talking.
It's years of old programmingthat convinced you that your
worth comes from your output.
But you are not a vendingmachine for everyone else's
needs.
You are a magnificent womanwith dreams, desires and a
purpose that goes far beyondbeing everyone's everything.
(22:07):
The most radical thing you cando is start truly believing deep
down that you matter.
How do we finally break freefrom those chains and step into
new reality?
It's not about adding more toyour already overflowing plate.
It's about strategicallyremoving the weight that's been
dragging you down and reclaimingthe boundless energy that is
inherently yours.
(22:27):
It's a bit like finallyexhaling after holding your
breath for years.
The relief isn't complicated.
It's natural.
You're not learning somethingnew.
You're remembering somethingyou forgot that you matter too.
So let's get really practicalhere.
What does this transformationactually look like in your daily
life?
How does this shift feel?
First off, you know that littlevoice, the one that whispers oh
(22:50):
, if I don't do it, no one will.
You're going to call that outfor what it really is A total
lie, a sneaky trap designed tokeep you stuck.
Because here's the honest truthyour family.
They're way more capable thanyou've been giving them credit
for.
Instead of staying up at night,you know, till midnight
researching college applications, scholarships for your 17 year
(23:11):
old, because they're so busywith school, you'll learn to say
I found three scholarshipwebsites.
You handle the applications.
They might complain at first,but they learn to advocate for
themselves and you reclaim yourprecious evenings.
Next, we tackle the power of no.
This isn't about being mean ornot caring.
It's about strategicallylearning to say no to the fine
(23:32):
things so that you canwholeheartedly say yes to the
right things for you.
You'll finally grasp that yourtime and energy aren't infinite.
They're precious, finiteresources that deserve to be
fiercely protected and investedwisely.
Request to volunteer foranother school committee or host
another meeting when you'realready exhausted.
You'll learn to say that soundswonderful, but I'm unable at
(23:53):
this time.
If something changes, I willlet you know.
Not, I'm too busy, but a simple, firm boundary that honors your
capacity.
And then, the most beautifulpart of all, you'll start to
recognize that incredible womanyou were before the world
convinced you to be everythingto everyone.
She's still in there, I promiseyou.
She's just waiting patiently,underneath all of those heavy
(24:14):
layers of obligation and soulcrushing guilt.
And guess what she has?
Dreams, vibrant opinions and adesire that absolutely
unequivocally matters.
Finally, say yes to that girlstrip your friends have been
planning for two years.
Or you start taking thatevening art class that you've
been putting off because someoneneeds to be home for dinner,
even though your kids areperfectly capable of making
their own food.
(24:34):
You might feel guilty at first,but then something magically
happens you remember what itfeels like to laugh until your
stomach hurts to learn somethingnew, just because it interests
you to have conversations aboutsomething other than everyone
else's schedules.
You'll feel a forgotten sparkignite, a quiet joy bubbling up
from simply being you.
But let's be honest for a moment.
(24:56):
What happens if you don'taddress these patterns?
If you keep listening to thatwhisper and living by those old
rules?
Here's the harsh truth of whatinaction costs you.
Current exhaustion will onlyget worse, becoming a constant
draining present that dims yourlight to almost nothing.
Your relationships won't getbetter.
Instead, they'll keep sufferingfrom your quiet resentment,
(25:16):
creating a growing emotionaldistance.
Your children, even thoughloved, will keep learning that
mom's needs don't matter,setting them up for a dangerous
cycle of self-neglect in theirown lives.
And that feeling ofdisappearing it won't just hang
around, it will become youractual reality, leaving you
feeling completely lost anddisconnected from who you used
to be.
Here's what I instinctively knowabout you You're not going to
(25:37):
just listen to this and hopethings magically change
overnight.
You're done waiting.
You're ready to take action.
That, my friend, is preciselywhy I poured everything into
creating a brand new three-dayReclaiming who you Are Beyond
Mom and Wife event.
This isn't just another fluffy,feel-good workshop that leaves
you inspired one moment andunchangeable next.
(25:58):
This is a strategic,step-by-step blueprint designed
specifically for women who aretruly done being invisible and
are absolutely ready to becomethe fearless architect of their
own extraordinary life.
You will not want to miss thisevent.
There will be more detailscoming soon, so let's take a
step back and look at a wholepicture, shall we?
You've been living with anoverflowing calendar, days that
(26:20):
never truly end and no time leftfor you.
You feel simultaneouslyindispensable to everyone, yet
utterly invisible, like yourimmense efforts are vanished
into thin air.
That relentless whisper of if Idon't handle this, it simply
won't get done, because theyneed me, and this is what good
moms do, that's what I'm herefor.
It echoes in your mind, leadingto the heartbreaking
(26:41):
realization I no longerrecognize myself.
I'm slowly fading away.
This isn't just about becomingbusy.
It's about the identity erasereffect a deeply ingrained belief
that saying no means that youdon't care.
A cruel, guilt-basedmanipulation that keeps you
trapped, sacrificing your ownvitality.
We've seen how unrelentingself-sacrifice leads to
(27:02):
resentment and invisible mamas,while narcissistic selfishness
damages children.
The crushing cost of notchanging is that nigh exhaustion
will only deepen.
Your relationships will sufferfrom unspoken resentment and
your children will learn adangerous cycle of self-neglect,
and that feeling ofdisappearing will become your
stark reality.
Are you ready to stop waitingfor permission to matter in your
(27:23):
own magnificent light, ifyou've already said I'm fine
three or four times before 10 amwhen you're absolutely not, or
if you've canceled more thanhalf the things you wanted to do
for yourself in the last sixmonths because of family needs
that honestly could have waited?
That's exactly why I createdthe three-day reclaiming who you
are beyond mom and wife event.
This is for you.
(27:43):
Over these three days, we'regoing to uncover the real
reasons you feel invisible,loosen the guilt that's been
keeping you stuck and take oneconcrete step toward the woman
you know is still in there.
And here's the thing this isn'tabout flipping your life upside
down or suddenly becomingselfish.
Self-worth doesn't expire itgets buried under years of doing
(28:04):
and serving.
If sacrificing yourselfcompletely made families thrive,
wouldn't every self-sacrificingmama have the perfect home life
?
We both know that that is notthe case.
So imagine this instead wakingup excited instead of already
behind at 5 30 am for the 847thday in a row, having meaningful
conversations with your spousemore than once a month, and
(28:24):
remembering what it feels liketo actually have space for your
own voice, your own needs andyour own dreams.
This is your invitation tostart reclaiming that space.
So, if you're ready, click thelink below to get on the
priority notice list to be thefirst to reserve your spot for
the three-day reclaiming who,who you Are, beyond Mom and Wife
event.
Now and start your journey backto yourself.
(28:45):
Hear me when I say this you aremore than everything to
everyone.
You are someone and you matter.
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