October 23, 2025 • 29 mins
You've bought the planner. Read the books. Done the gratitude practice. And you're still... here. Still stuck. Still feeling broken.
What if I told you that you're not broken—you're just buried? And that voice telling you to "push through this season" is the same one that almost destroyed my life.
In this episode, we're dismantling three dangerous lies that keep you trapped:
- That personal growth is about fixing what's wrong with you
- That you just need to survive this season until things get easier
- That your growth will disrupt your family
Here's the truth: Your family isn't disrupted by your growth. They're disrupted by your stagnation. Your resentment from staying small. Your depletion from constant giving. Your invisibility teaches your children that women don't matter.
I'll share the research that changed everything for me, the rock bottom moment that forced me to choose between pushing through or emerging through, and what actually happened when I stopped shrinking and started growing.
Because it's never too late to step into your worth and create a life that intentionally honors that worth. Not despite your family. Because of them. For them. With them.
In This Episode:
- Why shame-based change never creates lasting transformation
- The difference between pushing through seasons vs. emerging from them
- Research on how your well-being directly impacts your family relationships
- What your children are actually learning when you martyr yourself
- The foundation you need before any growth strategy will work
Ready to stop just surviving? Join me for a 3-day virtual event, "Reclaiming Who You Are Beyond Mom and Wife."
📲Empower a friend who needs to hear this, letting her know she’s not alone in her struggles - Share this episode today.
🔗 Get daily encouragement and behind-the-scenes heart-to-hearts: @yourutmostself
🎧 Never missed a conversation that powerfully reminds you of who you truly are - Subscribe to the podcast now.
✨ Continue your journey of self-discovery and empowerment with free resources, articles, and more - Visit Your Utmost Self to explore.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
You're scrolling through Instagram again.
(00:02):
Another post about personaldevelopment.
Another mom who transformed herlife.
Another chorus promising to helpyou become your best self.
And you feel it.
That familiar knot in yourstomach.
Part hope, part exhaustion, partshame.
Because here's what you'rethinking.
What's wrong with me?
I've tried the journal prompts,I've read the books, I've done
(00:22):
the gratitude practice, and I amstill here, still stuck, still
broken.
And then there's the othervoice, the one that whispers,
even if I could change, even ifI could grow, my family wouldn't
understand.
They need me to be who I'vealways been.
This is just a season anyway,and I just need to push through
it.
When things calm down, when thekids are older, and when life
(00:44):
gets easier, then I will focuson me.
So you close the app, you putdown the ache, you tell yourself
that you're fine, and you goback to going through the
motions.
I need you to hear me.
You are not broken.
You're buried.
And that voice that's tellingyou to push through this season,
it's the same voice that almostdestroyed my life.
Because here's the deal.
(01:05):
I spent years believing thatpersonal growth was about fixing
everything that was wrong withme.
I chased every solution, everystrategy, every transformation
that promised to make me better,worthy, and enough.
And you know what?
Nothing lasted.
Because I was operating from thewrong foundation.
And when I hit rock bottom, andy'all, I mean rock bottom, I
(01:26):
realized something that changedeverything.
I wasn't supposed to pushthrough that season.
I was supposed to emerge fromit.
And that emergence, it didn'tdisrupt my family.
It saved it.
Do you ever find yourself goingthrough the motions?
Do you ever catch a glimpse ofyourself in the mirror and
barely recognize the womanstaring back?
(01:47):
The woman who once dreamed big,burned with passion, and existed
beyond everyone else's needs?
Are you running unempty andsecretly wondering, is this all
there is?
Hi, I'm Misty Chili and this isyour Utmost Life, the podcast
for those who are tired of justgetting by and are ready to
start thriving, but feel stuckfiguring out how to get there.
If you're feeling burnt out,disconnected, unfulfilled, or
(02:08):
like there has to be more thanthis, you're in the right place.
Here you will connect with whoyou are beyond your roles, get
clear on what you actually want,align your life with what truly
matters, and become your utmostself so you can finally live a
life of purpose and fulfillment,moving you from surviving by
default to thriving withintention.
Today we are talking about majormom mistake number six,
(02:30):
believing that personal growthis the opposition to your
family's well-being.
Because somewhere along the way,you started believing that
taking care of yourself meanttaking away from them, that
growing meant disrupting, thatchanging meant losing what you
have.
And those beliefs, they'rekeeping you stuck in a cycle
where you're convinced you'rebroken and need fixing, where
you're just white-knucklingthrough another season, waiting
(02:53):
for some day, and where you'reterrified that if you actually
pursued your own growth, yourfamily would fall apart.
But here's what I want you toknow it is never too late to
step into your worth and createa life that intentionally honors
that worth.
Not despite your family, butbecause of them, for them, with
them.
So let's talk about what growthactually is, what the seasons
(03:14):
are really asking of you, andwhat happens when you finally
give yourself permission tobecome another planner.
This one was going to bedifferent.
This one had the perfect system.
The time blocking, the habittracker, the reflection prompts,
this was finally going to getyou organized.
And for two weeks, maybe three,you used it religiously.
(03:36):
You felt hopeful, like maybethis was the answer.
And then life happened.
You missed a day, then another,and suddenly that planner with
all its promise is sitting in adrawer and you're back to where
you started, feeling like afailure again.
Or maybe it was the morningroutine.
Wake up at 5 a.m., journal,meditate, move your body.
(03:57):
You are going to become thatwoman, the one who has it all
together.
Or the book that promised totransform your mindset, the
course that was going to finallygive you confidence, the program
that was supposed to unlock yourpotential, and some of it helped
for a little while, but nothingstuck.
Nothing truly changed.
And every time something doesn'twork, you think the same thing.
(04:18):
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I make the stick?
Why does everyone else seem tohave it figured out?
And I'm still broken.
And that word right there,broken.
That's the belief you've beencaring without even realizing
it.
This idea that personal growthis about fixing what's wrong
with you, that you'refundamentally flawed and you
(04:38):
just need to find the right toolto repair yourself.
The world has sold us on thisnarrative, and oh my goodness,
has it sold us well?
The self-help industry is worthover$13 billion.
And you know what most of it isbuilt on?
The idea that you're not enoughas you are.
That there's somethingfundamentally wrong with you
(04:59):
that needs correcting, thatyou're broken, and if you just
buy this one thing, read thisone book, follow this system,
then you will be fixed.
It's shamed-based change,masquerading is
self-improvement.
And here's what I need you tohear.
That's not personal growth.
That's not transformation.
That's just a really expensiveway to feel like a failure over
(05:22):
and over again.
So what is personal growth?
Because it's not what we've beensold.
For years, I believed thatpersonal growth meant fixing
myself.
I did all the latest andgreatest solutions, trying to be
my best self.
And there were moments, brief,shining moments, where I felt
like maybe I was gettingsomewhere.
But then something would happen,life would get hard, I'd fail
(05:45):
again, and I'd be right backwhere I started, feeling broken,
feeling like there was somethingfundamentally wrong with me that
I couldn't seem to fix.
And then I hit rock bottom.
And in that moment, sitting inthe rubble of everything I
thought I was supposed to be, Irealized something.
If I don't understand myself,who I actually am, not what I
(06:07):
believe I should be or who Ishould be or how I should be, if
I am unaware of my worth, I onlyever get temporary benefits.
This was the moment everythingshifted.
I realized that I needed a solidfoundation.
And that foundation wasn'tfixing what was broken.
It was understanding.
(06:27):
It was waking up.
It was stepping into who Iactually was and making
decisions that aligned with mein the life that I wanted.
Personal growth isn't aboutfixing what's wrong with you.
It's about enhancing who youalready are, not correcting
flaws, but expanding capacity.
It's about living in harmonywith your soul and your inner
(06:48):
truth, not fighting againstyourself, but finally aligning
with yourself.
It's about integrating all partsof yourself, your strengths,
yes, but also your desires andeven your fears, creating
coherent self-awareness wherenothing has to be hidden or cut
away or fixed.
It's about showing up fully,present, courageous,
(07:10):
intentional, not performing orproving, but actually being.
And here's what's beautifulabout real growth.
It's not a fixed destinationyou're trying to reach.
It's not once I get there, I'llbe done.
It's a continual unfolding, acontinuous emerging where you're
stepping into more and more ofwho you really are, with a
(07:32):
foundation that doesn't waver,but a becoming that never stops.
Now, this just isn't my opinionor my experience.
There's actual research backingthis up.
And when I learned about it, itwas like someone turned on the
lights.
This researcher named CarolDeWick, who spent 20 years
studying something she callsmindset, and here's what she
found.
The view you adopt for yourself,whether you believe your
(07:54):
abilities are fixed or can bedeveloped, profoundly affects
the way you lead your life.
It can determine whether youbecome the person you want to be
and whether you accomplish thethings you value.
She identified two mindsets.
The first is a fixed mindset.
This is where you believe yourabilities, your intelligence,
your personality are static.
(08:15):
They're just what they are.
You can't really change them.
So success becomes about provingthat you're adequate, and
failure becomes devastatingbecause it means you're not.
Sound familiar?
I thought so.
This is the I'm broken and needfixing mindset.
This is the what's wrong with mespiral.
This is why every setback feelslike confirmation that you're
(08:38):
just not enough.
But then there's the other side.
The growth mindset.
This is the belief that yourcapacities are not fixed but can
be developed over time, thatchallenges are opportunities,
that failure is an evidence ofinadequacy.
It's a springboard for growth.
And here's what the researchshows.
(08:59):
Students with a growth mindsetconsistently outperform students
with a fixed mindset.
When people learned that theycould grow their brains, that
they could develop theirabilities, they did better.
They achieved more.
They lived with less stress andmore success.
And here's the kicker growthmindset isn't just about trying
(09:20):
harder.
It's not about positivethinking.
It's about fundamentallybelieving that you are capable
of becoming, not just stuckbeing.
I want to share with you whathappened when I stopped trying
to fix myself and startedactually growing, when I built
that foundation of understandingand worth first.
My family relationshipsimproved.
(09:40):
Not in spite of my growth, butbecause of it.
My marriage improved because Iwasn't a depleted, resentful
version of myself anymore.
My relationships with my kidsimproved because I wasn't
hovering over them.
I wasn't making them feelincapable because I needed to be
needed.
I became more alive.
And y'all, my family loved it.
It provided a vision for themand their lives.
(10:04):
My daughter saw that women don'tstop becoming when they become
mothers.
My son saw what a whole,fulfilled woman looks like, and
that's what he'll expect fromhis future relationships.
My husband got an actual partnerback, not just a manager of
household tasks.
And there's the thing, I finallyunderstood.
It wasn't about being selfish.
(10:24):
It was about including myself.
And when I included myself, theynaturally included me too.
Because here's what I didn'trealize for so long.
It wasn't them removing me fromour life together.
It was me.
Choice by choice, misguidedunderstanding by choice,
believing I was broken andneeded fixing instead of
(10:46):
understanding who I actually wasand stepping into that with
intention.
When I shifted from fixing tobecoming, everything changed.
Not because I became perfect,but because I became present,
whole, alive, and growing.
That's the difference betweenshame-based change and
love-based evolution.
(11:07):
One shrinks you, the otherexpands you.
I can already hear you saying,okay, Misty, that sounds
beautiful, but I do not havetime for all this becoming and
growing.
I'm just getting through eachday one day at a time.
I just need to push through theseason and get to the other
side.
When the kids are in a placethat they can take care of
themselves, then I will focus onme.
(11:28):
And that right there, that's thesecond lie.
And it almost cost meeverything.
This is just a season of my lifethat I need to push through.
Can you believe how many yearswe waste with this lie?
I just need to survive untilonce the kids are older, when
things calm down.
This is just temporary.
Every mom goes through this.
(11:50):
I can tough it out.
Those comments day after day.
Here's what I need you tounderstand.
When you say you're going topush through, what you're
actually doing is pushing downyourself.
Let me tell you about my rockbottom moment because it came
directly from this belief that Ijust needed to push through.
(12:10):
The marriage was strained, thehouse was chaos, my career was
stalling, and every single day Itold myself, just push through.
This is just a season.
I will get better.
It will get better.
But here's the thing aboutpushing through: you don't
actually go anywhere.
You just compress.
You become compact.
You make yourself smaller andsmaller until you practically
(12:33):
disappear.
And in that season that Ithought I was pushing through, I
was actually heading toward adevastating end.
The kind that I would have spentthe rest of my life regretting
because I wasn't addressinganything.
I wasn't growing through it.
I was just white-knuckling myway toward a finish line that
kept moving further and furtheraway.
Here's what nobody tells youabout seasons.
(12:54):
They don't end, they transform.
Either they transform intogrowth, into you emerging
stronger, clearer, more aligned,or they transform into regret,
into decades of resentment,disconnection, and that haunting
question, is this really allthere is?
Because listen, that seasonyou're in, that is your life.
(13:17):
It's not separate from yourlife.
It's not something you have toget through to start living.
This right now, this is it.
And every single difficultseason you're facing is not an
obstacle you have to survive.
It's an invitation you get toaccept, an invitation to grow,
to merge, to become.
(13:38):
We think we're supposed to justendure, just survive, just make
it to the other side.
But here's what research ongrowth mindset shows us the
challenges, the difficults, thehard seasons, those are
precisely where growth happens,not despite them, but because of
them.
When you avoid challenges, whenyou just push through them, you
(14:02):
actually prevent your owndevelopment.
You stay exactly who you were.
You don't expand, you don'tlearn, you don't emerge.
But when you engage with thedifficulty, when you use it as
fuel for transformation, that'swhen you become more than you
were.
We are living species.
We are not stagnant.
(14:22):
We're either growing or we'redying.
And when we're just pushingthrough, you're choosing dying
over growth.
You're choosing to stay small,you're choosing to wait for some
day.
Let me share with you whathappened when I stopped pushing
through and started emerging.
When I hit that rock bottom, Ihad a choice.
I could keep pushing through,keep white knuckling, keep
(14:44):
compressing myself, keep waitingfor the season to pass, or I
could engage with it.
I could use it, I could let ittransform me.
And that's when I realized Ineeded a solid foundation, not a
quick fix, not another strategyto push through, a foundation.
And that foundation wasunderstanding my worth.
(15:04):
Once I had that foundation, onceI understood who I actually was,
not who I should be, not what Ibelieved I needed to be to keep
everyone else happy, that's whenlasting change began.
I wasn't fixing anymore.
I was waking up, I was steppinginto, I was making decisions
(15:25):
that aligned with who I actuallywas and the life I actually
wanted to live.
And here's what's wild.
When I did that, everything Iwas trying to hold together by
pushing through, it actually gotbetter.
The relationships I was whiteknuckling to preserve, they
deepened.
The family I was exhaustingmyself to serve, they
flourished.
(15:45):
The life I was barely surviving,it became something I was
actually living.
So what's the difference betweenpushing through and emerging
through?
Let me paint you both pictures.
Pushing through looks like this: gritting your teeth through (15:55):
undefined
another day.
And I can just make it toFriday.
Numbing out with wine, Netflix,scrolling, going through the
motions, disconnecting fromyourself and everyone around
you, resentment building likecompound interest, exhaustion as
your default state, waiting forlife to start later.
(16:17):
And years pass, and you wake upone day and you don't recognize
your life, you don't recognizeyourself, and all you have is
regret for all the time youspent just surviving.
Emerging through looks likethis: engaging with the
challenges as opportunities togrow, using the difficulty as
(16:37):
fuel for transformation, gettingsupport, therapy, coaching,
community, making intentionalchoices even when they're hard,
connecting deeper with yourselfthrough the struggle, using the
season to become, not just tosurvive.
And when you look back, theseason wasn't something you
lost.
It was something that made you.
It was the turning point.
(16:58):
It was where you emerged intowho you were always meant to be.
Instead of pushing through, weneed to emerge out.
Now, here's where I know you aregetting really uncomfortable
because maybe you're thinking,okay, Misty, I hear you.
I want to grow.
I don't want to just pushthrough.
But my family, they won'tunderstand.
(17:20):
They need me to be who I'vealways been.
If I change, if I startprioritizing my own growth, it's
gonna disrupt everything.
The time, the money, theattention I'd be taking away
from them.
How is that not selfish?
How is that not going to hurtthem?
And that, that right there, isthe third lie.
And it might be the mostdangerous one of all.
(17:41):
Let's shed light on what thisbelief sounds like in your head.
Sentences like, they'll thinkI'm selfish.
What if they don't like the newme?
I might outgrow them.
They need me to stay the same.
My growth threatens the familybalance.
And underneath all of that isthis core belief that your
growth is in opposition to yourfamily's well-being.
(18:03):
That you can either grow or havea happy family, but not both.
Can I tell you something?
This belief almost kept me inthat rock bottom place.
Because even when I knew Ineeded to change, even when I
knew I was dying inside, I wasterrified.
I was terrified that if Iactually grew, if I actually
became the person I was meant tobe, that my family wouldn't
(18:25):
recognize me, that they wouldn'twant me, that I'd lose them,
that they would feel like theyweren't enough.
But here's what I discovered,and this is backed by actual
research.
Your growth doesn't disrupt yourfamily.
Your stagnation does.
There has been extensiveresearch on family dynamics and
individual well-being.
And here's what they found.
(18:46):
Better family relationships areassociated with reduced
psychological distress.
More life satisfaction, strongerresilience, better self-esteem,
more optimism.
The list goes on.
But here's the key finding it'sbi-directional.
Quality relationships promoteindividual well-being, and
individual well-being promotesquality relationships.
(19:07):
It's not one or the other.
They fuel each other.
The research shows that whenfamily members receive support,
they feel a greater sense ofself-worth.
That's what you do for yourchildren.
That's what you do for yourhusband.
They can do it for you.
Did you know that enhancedself-esteem is a resource that
encourages optimism, positiveeffect, and better mental
(19:28):
health, which then gets pouredback into the family
relationships, which createsmore support, which increases
well-being?
It's a beautiful cycle, but itonly works if you're in the
cycle, if you're includingyourself, if you're actually
growing.
So what actually disruptsfamilies?
Mom's resentment for stayingsmall, mom's depletion from
(19:49):
constant giving, mom'sinvisibility teaching kids that
women don't matter, mom's martamodeling unhealthy
relationships, mom's stagnationshowing that life ends at
motherhood.
That's what disrupts families,not your growth, your refusal to
grow.
Let me share what actuallyhappened in my family when I
stopped shrinking and startedgrowing.
(20:09):
When I finally stopped trying tofix myself and started
understanding myself, when Ibuilt that foundation of worth
and started making decisionsaligned with who I actually was,
do you know what happened?
I realized it wasn't themremoving me from our life
together like I'd feared.
It had been me removing myself,choice by choice, misguided
(20:30):
understanding by misguidedunderstanding, believing I had
to stay small to keep themhappy, believing I had to erase
myself to prove my love.
But when I started includingmyself, they included me too,
naturally, easily, joyfully.
My marriage improved because myhusband got an actual partner
back, not just someone managingthe household with one foot out
(20:51):
the door mentally.
My kids' relationships with meimproved because I wasn't
hovering over them.
I wasn't making every decisionfor them because I needed to be
needed.
I trusted them.
I released them and theyflourished.
And here's what I didn't expect.
I became more alive and theyloved it.
They loved having a mom who wasactually present, not just going
(21:12):
through the motions.
They loved having a mom who hadher own interests, her own
growth, her own life because itshowed them what was possible.
It gave them permission, itprovided a vision for their own
lives.
My daughter saw that women don'tstop becoming when they become
mothers.
My son learned what to expectfrom future relationships, that
women are whole people withdreams and worth.
(21:35):
Because here's what you need tounderstand.
You're teaching your childrenevery single day, not through
what you say, but through whatyou do.
When you shrink, you teach themto shrink.
When you martyr yourself, youteach them that love requires
self-erasure.
When you stay stuck, you teachthem that change isn't possible.
When you push your needs aside,you teach them that their needs
(21:58):
don't matter.
But when you grow, when you stepinto your worth, when you
include yourself in your ownlife, you teach them that growth
is lifelong.
You teach them thattransformation is possible.
You teach them that women arewhole people.
You teach them that worthdoesn't expire.
Your growth doesn't take awayfrom your family.
(22:21):
It multiplies what you have togive them because you cannot
pour from an empty cup, but youcan overflow from a full one.
So let's bring this all togetherbecause here's what connects all
three of these lies.
They're all rooted in onefundamental misunderstanding,
and that's about your worth.
Worth is the foundation to allthings in our life, good or bad.
(22:44):
We make choices, we acceptcircumstances, we stay stuck or
we grow based on the value wesee in ourselves.
And here's how it works.
Low self-worth leads to lowself-esteem, which leads to
choices, behaviors, andreactions that represent those
internal beliefs.
Let me give you a picture.
Think about finding a randomfinger painting from a child you
(23:05):
don't know.
Scribbles, just an old project.
You'd assess it as little value.
You'd probably throw it away ifyou found it all on the ground,
right?
But a finger painting from yourchild, oh my goodness, that's a
masterpiece.
That's getting hung up, that'sgetting kept forever.
You ooh and you ah over the tinycute hand, the little feathers
creating the turkey wings, youtreasure it.
(23:27):
It's the same type of art.
But the assessed value iscompletely different.
And right now, you are assessingyour worth the way you'd assess
that random child's painting.
Low value, disposable, not worthinvesting in.
Just push through, just fixwhat's broken.
But if you saw your true worth,the way you see your child's
(23:51):
art, everything would change.
You'd see yourself as precious,worth protecting, worth
investing in, worth growing,worth honoring.
And here's how worth connects toeverything we talked about
today.
When you believe growth isfixed, it's because you have low
worth.
You see yourself as broken.
But when you step into trueworth, you see I am whole and
(24:14):
expanding.
When you believe just pushthrough, it's because you have
low worth.
Your needs and growth don'tmatter enough to prioritize.
But when you step into trueworth, you see my growth is
valuable and worth engagingwith.
When you believe family won'tunderstand, it's because you
have low worth.
(24:35):
Your growth isn't valuableenough to potentially cause
discomfort.
But when you step into trueworth, you see my growth
benefits everyone.
I am worth the investment.
Now, let me pause here for asecond because I know that might
be hard to hear.
You might be sitting therefeeling like I just called you
out, like I just exposedsomething you weren't ready to
(24:56):
look at.
And I know some of that mighthave stung a little.
And listen, that's not myintention.
I'm not saying any of this tohurt you or make you feel worse
about where you are.
I'm saying it because I careabout you.
I've been exactly where you are.
I've been in that exact placewhere I was treating myself like
I had no value, where I wastrying to fix what wasn't
(25:17):
broken, where I was pushingthrough instead of emerging.
And I know what it's like torealize that you've been
operating from low worth.
It's uncomfortable.
It's confronting.
But here's why I'm telling youthis.
I know what's possible on theother side of stepping into your
worth.
And I believe that you deserveto know.
You deserve to understand whynothing has worked.
(25:38):
You deserve to see that there'snothing wrong with you.
There's just been somethingwrong with what you've been
believing about yourself.
And more than that, you deserveto know what changes when you
step into your true worth.
Because everything, and I meaneverything, changes.
So here's what I need you toknow.
It's never too late to step intoyour worth and create a life
(26:00):
that intentionally honors thatworth.
Because you are worth it todayin this season, in this moment,
not tomorrow, not when the kidsare older, not when things calm
down.
Now, because here's the truth.
We've been dancing around thiswhole episode.
You're not broken to grow.
You're not stuck in a season,you just have to survive.
(26:21):
And your family won't bedisrupted by your becoming.
They will be liberated by it.
But you have to step into yourworth first.
You have to build thatfoundation.
You have to stop believing thelies that you're broken and you
just need to push through, thatyour growth is in opposition to
everyone else's well-being.
And if you're sitting therethinking, okay, Misty, I hear
(26:43):
you.
I want this, but I don't evenknow where to start.
I don't know how to step into myworth.
I don't know what that evenlooks like practically.
I've got you.
I am hosting a brand new freethree-day virtual event called
Reclaiming Who You Are BeyondMom and Wife.
Over these three days, we'regoing to excavate the dreams and
purposes that have been buried.
(27:04):
We're going to understand howyour experiences have actually
prepared you for this nextseason to design a vision for
your life that honors both whoyou've been and who you're
becoming.
We're going to create a plan foryour family relationships that
include you in them.
And we're going to build thefoundation, the worth foundation
for becoming your utmost self.
(27:25):
The priority notification listis open right now.
And here's why you want to be onit.
People on the priority list getfirst access, they get bonuses
and information before everyoneelse.
Plus, I'll be sending somepre-event resources to help you
start preparing.
Get on that list at your upmostself.com forward slash reclaim
identity beyond motherhoodpriority list.
(27:45):
I know it's long, so I'll putthat link in the show notes too.
You can also find it pretty mucheverywhere on the website
yourUpmostSelf.com.
Listen, if you're tired offeeling broken, you're done
pushing through, if you're readyto stop believing that your
growth and your family'swell-being are in opposition,
this event is for you.
(28:05):
You're not broken, you're buriedunder roles and expectations and
beliefs that were never yours tobegin with.
And you're not stuck in aseason, you just have to
survive.
You're standing at aninvitation, an invitation to
emerge, an invitation to become,an invitation to step into your
worth and your family, they'renot going to be disrupted by
(28:26):
your growth.
They're waiting for you to comeback to life.
They're waiting for you toinclude yourself, to see what's
possible when mom stops justsurviving and starts actually
living.
It's never too late.
Your worth doesn't expire.
And the foundation you builtnow, the understanding, the
growth, the intentional designof your life, that's what
changes everything for you, forthem, for generations to come.
(28:50):
What you two?
You matter.
So thank you for being heretoday.
I will see you in the nextepisode and I hope on the
priority notice list.
You're scrolling through Instagram again.
(00:02):
Another post about personaldevelopment.
Another mom who transformed herlife.
Another chorus promising to helpyou become your best self.
And you feel it.
That familiar knot in yourstomach.
Part hope, part exhaustion, partshame.
Because here's what you'rethinking.
What's wrong with me?
I've tried the journal prompts,I've read the books, I've done
(00:22):
the gratitude practice, and I amstill here, still stuck, still
broken.
And then there's the othervoice, the one that whispers,
even if I could change, even ifI could grow, my family wouldn't
understand.
They need me to be who I'vealways been.
This is just a season anyway,and I just need to push through
it.
When things calm down, when thekids are older, and when life
(00:44):
gets easier, then I will focuson me.
So you close the app, you putdown the ache, you tell yourself
that you're fine, and you goback to going through the
motions.
I need you to hear me.
You are not broken.
You're buried.
And that voice that's tellingyou to push through this season,
it's the same voice that almostdestroyed my life.
Because here's the deal.
(01:05):
I spent years believing thatpersonal growth was about fixing
everything that was wrong withme.
I chased every solution, everystrategy, every transformation
that promised to make me better,worthy, and enough.
And you know what?
Nothing lasted.
Because I was operating from thewrong foundation.
And when I hit rock bottom, andy'all, I mean rock bottom, I
(01:26):
realized something that changedeverything.
I wasn't supposed to pushthrough that season.
I was supposed to emerge fromit.
And that emergence, it didn'tdisrupt my family.
It saved it.
Do you ever find yourself goingthrough the motions?
Do you ever catch a glimpse ofyourself in the mirror and
barely recognize the womanstaring back?
(01:47):
The woman who once dreamed big,burned with passion, and existed
beyond everyone else's needs?
Are you running unempty andsecretly wondering, is this all
there is?
Hi, I'm Misty Chili and this isyour Utmost Life, the podcast
for those who are tired of justgetting by and are ready to
start thriving, but feel stuckfiguring out how to get there.
If you're feeling burnt out,disconnected, unfulfilled, or
(02:08):
like there has to be more thanthis, you're in the right place.
Here you will connect with whoyou are beyond your roles, get
clear on what you actually want,align your life with what truly
matters, and become your utmostself so you can finally live a
life of purpose and fulfillment,moving you from surviving by
default to thriving withintention.
Today we are talking about majormom mistake number six,
(02:30):
believing that personal growthis the opposition to your
family's well-being.
Because somewhere along the way,you started believing that
taking care of yourself meanttaking away from them, that
growing meant disrupting, thatchanging meant losing what you
have.
And those beliefs, they'rekeeping you stuck in a cycle
where you're convinced you'rebroken and need fixing, where
you're just white-knucklingthrough another season, waiting
(02:53):
for some day, and where you'reterrified that if you actually
pursued your own growth, yourfamily would fall apart.
But here's what I want you toknow it is never too late to
step into your worth and createa life that intentionally honors
that worth.
Not despite your family, butbecause of them, for them, with
them.
So let's talk about what growthactually is, what the seasons
(03:14):
are really asking of you, andwhat happens when you finally
give yourself permission tobecome another planner.
This one was going to bedifferent.
This one had the perfect system.
The time blocking, the habittracker, the reflection prompts,
this was finally going to getyou organized.
And for two weeks, maybe three,you used it religiously.
(03:36):
You felt hopeful, like maybethis was the answer.
And then life happened.
You missed a day, then another,and suddenly that planner with
all its promise is sitting in adrawer and you're back to where
you started, feeling like afailure again.
Or maybe it was the morningroutine.
Wake up at 5 a.m., journal,meditate, move your body.
(03:57):
You are going to become thatwoman, the one who has it all
together.
Or the book that promised totransform your mindset, the
course that was going to finallygive you confidence, the program
that was supposed to unlock yourpotential, and some of it helped
for a little while, but nothingstuck.
Nothing truly changed.
And every time something doesn'twork, you think the same thing.
(04:18):
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I make the stick?
Why does everyone else seem tohave it figured out?
And I'm still broken.
And that word right there,broken.
That's the belief you've beencaring without even realizing
it.
This idea that personal growthis about fixing what's wrong
with you, that you'refundamentally flawed and you
(04:38):
just need to find the right toolto repair yourself.
The world has sold us on thisnarrative, and oh my goodness,
has it sold us well?
The self-help industry is worthover$13 billion.
And you know what most of it isbuilt on?
The idea that you're not enoughas you are.
That there's somethingfundamentally wrong with you
(04:59):
that needs correcting, thatyou're broken, and if you just
buy this one thing, read thisone book, follow this system,
then you will be fixed.
It's shamed-based change,masquerading is
self-improvement.
And here's what I need you tohear.
That's not personal growth.
That's not transformation.
That's just a really expensiveway to feel like a failure over
(05:22):
and over again.
So what is personal growth?
Because it's not what we've beensold.
For years, I believed thatpersonal growth meant fixing
myself.
I did all the latest andgreatest solutions, trying to be
my best self.
And there were moments, brief,shining moments, where I felt
like maybe I was gettingsomewhere.
But then something would happen,life would get hard, I'd fail
(05:45):
again, and I'd be right backwhere I started, feeling broken,
feeling like there was somethingfundamentally wrong with me that
I couldn't seem to fix.
And then I hit rock bottom.
And in that moment, sitting inthe rubble of everything I
thought I was supposed to be, Irealized something.
If I don't understand myself,who I actually am, not what I
(06:07):
believe I should be or who Ishould be or how I should be, if
I am unaware of my worth, I onlyever get temporary benefits.
This was the moment everythingshifted.
I realized that I needed a solidfoundation.
And that foundation wasn'tfixing what was broken.
It was understanding.
(06:27):
It was waking up.
It was stepping into who Iactually was and making
decisions that aligned with mein the life that I wanted.
Personal growth isn't aboutfixing what's wrong with you.
It's about enhancing who youalready are, not correcting
flaws, but expanding capacity.
It's about living in harmonywith your soul and your inner
(06:48):
truth, not fighting againstyourself, but finally aligning
with yourself.
It's about integrating all partsof yourself, your strengths,
yes, but also your desires andeven your fears, creating
coherent self-awareness wherenothing has to be hidden or cut
away or fixed.
It's about showing up fully,present, courageous,
(07:10):
intentional, not performing orproving, but actually being.
And here's what's beautifulabout real growth.
It's not a fixed destinationyou're trying to reach.
It's not once I get there, I'llbe done.
It's a continual unfolding, acontinuous emerging where you're
stepping into more and more ofwho you really are, with a
(07:32):
foundation that doesn't waver,but a becoming that never stops.
Now, this just isn't my opinionor my experience.
There's actual research backingthis up.
And when I learned about it, itwas like someone turned on the
lights.
This researcher named CarolDeWick, who spent 20 years
studying something she callsmindset, and here's what she
found.
The view you adopt for yourself,whether you believe your
(07:54):
abilities are fixed or can bedeveloped, profoundly affects
the way you lead your life.
It can determine whether youbecome the person you want to be
and whether you accomplish thethings you value.
She identified two mindsets.
The first is a fixed mindset.
This is where you believe yourabilities, your intelligence,
your personality are static.
(08:15):
They're just what they are.
You can't really change them.
So success becomes about provingthat you're adequate, and
failure becomes devastatingbecause it means you're not.
Sound familiar?
I thought so.
This is the I'm broken and needfixing mindset.
This is the what's wrong with mespiral.
This is why every setback feelslike confirmation that you're
(08:38):
just not enough.
But then there's the other side.
The growth mindset.
This is the belief that yourcapacities are not fixed but can
be developed over time, thatchallenges are opportunities,
that failure is an evidence ofinadequacy.
It's a springboard for growth.
And here's what the researchshows.
(08:59):
Students with a growth mindsetconsistently outperform students
with a fixed mindset.
When people learned that theycould grow their brains, that
they could develop theirabilities, they did better.
They achieved more.
They lived with less stress andmore success.
And here's the kicker growthmindset isn't just about trying
(09:20):
harder.
It's not about positivethinking.
It's about fundamentallybelieving that you are capable
of becoming, not just stuckbeing.
I want to share with you whathappened when I stopped trying
to fix myself and startedactually growing, when I built
that foundation of understandingand worth first.
My family relationshipsimproved.
(09:40):
Not in spite of my growth, butbecause of it.
My marriage improved because Iwasn't a depleted, resentful
version of myself anymore.
My relationships with my kidsimproved because I wasn't
hovering over them.
I wasn't making them feelincapable because I needed to be
needed.
I became more alive.
And y'all, my family loved it.
It provided a vision for themand their lives.
(10:04):
My daughter saw that women don'tstop becoming when they become
mothers.
My son saw what a whole,fulfilled woman looks like, and
that's what he'll expect fromhis future relationships.
My husband got an actual partnerback, not just a manager of
household tasks.
And there's the thing, I finallyunderstood.
It wasn't about being selfish.
(10:24):
It was about including myself.
And when I included myself, theynaturally included me too.
Because here's what I didn'trealize for so long.
It wasn't them removing me fromour life together.
It was me.
Choice by choice, misguidedunderstanding by choice,
believing I was broken andneeded fixing instead of
(10:46):
understanding who I actually wasand stepping into that with
intention.
When I shifted from fixing tobecoming, everything changed.
Not because I became perfect,but because I became present,
whole, alive, and growing.
That's the difference betweenshame-based change and
love-based evolution.
(11:07):
One shrinks you, the otherexpands you.
I can already hear you saying,okay, Misty, that sounds
beautiful, but I do not havetime for all this becoming and
growing.
I'm just getting through eachday one day at a time.
I just need to push through theseason and get to the other
side.
When the kids are in a placethat they can take care of
themselves, then I will focus onme.
(11:28):
And that right there, that's thesecond lie.
And it almost cost meeverything.
This is just a season of my lifethat I need to push through.
Can you believe how many yearswe waste with this lie?
I just need to survive untilonce the kids are older, when
things calm down.
This is just temporary.
Every mom goes through this.
(11:50):
I can tough it out.
Those comments day after day.
Here's what I need you tounderstand.
When you say you're going topush through, what you're
actually doing is pushing downyourself.
Let me tell you about my rockbottom moment because it came
directly from this belief that Ijust needed to push through.
(12:10):
The marriage was strained, thehouse was chaos, my career was
stalling, and every single day Itold myself, just push through.
This is just a season.
I will get better.
It will get better.
But here's the thing aboutpushing through: you don't
actually go anywhere.
You just compress.
You become compact.
You make yourself smaller andsmaller until you practically
(12:33):
disappear.
And in that season that Ithought I was pushing through, I
was actually heading toward adevastating end.
The kind that I would have spentthe rest of my life regretting
because I wasn't addressinganything.
I wasn't growing through it.
I was just white-knuckling myway toward a finish line that
kept moving further and furtheraway.
Here's what nobody tells youabout seasons.
(12:54):
They don't end, they transform.
Either they transform intogrowth, into you emerging
stronger, clearer, more aligned,or they transform into regret,
into decades of resentment,disconnection, and that haunting
question, is this really allthere is?
Because listen, that seasonyou're in, that is your life.
(13:17):
It's not separate from yourlife.
It's not something you have toget through to start living.
This right now, this is it.
And every single difficultseason you're facing is not an
obstacle you have to survive.
It's an invitation you get toaccept, an invitation to grow,
to merge, to become.
(13:38):
We think we're supposed to justendure, just survive, just make
it to the other side.
But here's what research ongrowth mindset shows us the
challenges, the difficults, thehard seasons, those are
precisely where growth happens,not despite them, but because of
them.
When you avoid challenges, whenyou just push through them, you
(14:02):
actually prevent your owndevelopment.
You stay exactly who you were.
You don't expand, you don'tlearn, you don't emerge.
But when you engage with thedifficulty, when you use it as
fuel for transformation, that'swhen you become more than you
were.
We are living species.
We are not stagnant.
(14:22):
We're either growing or we'redying.
And when we're just pushingthrough, you're choosing dying
over growth.
You're choosing to stay small,you're choosing to wait for some
day.
Let me share with you whathappened when I stopped pushing
through and started emerging.
When I hit that rock bottom, Ihad a choice.
I could keep pushing through,keep white knuckling, keep
(14:44):
compressing myself, keep waitingfor the season to pass, or I
could engage with it.
I could use it, I could let ittransform me.
And that's when I realized Ineeded a solid foundation, not a
quick fix, not another strategyto push through, a foundation.
And that foundation wasunderstanding my worth.
(15:04):
Once I had that foundation, onceI understood who I actually was,
not who I should be, not what Ibelieved I needed to be to keep
everyone else happy, that's whenlasting change began.
I wasn't fixing anymore.
I was waking up, I was steppinginto, I was making decisions
(15:25):
that aligned with who I actuallywas and the life I actually
wanted to live.
And here's what's wild.
When I did that, everything Iwas trying to hold together by
pushing through, it actually gotbetter.
The relationships I was whiteknuckling to preserve, they
deepened.
The family I was exhaustingmyself to serve, they
flourished.
(15:45):
The life I was barely surviving,it became something I was
actually living.
So what's the difference betweenpushing through and emerging
through?
Let me paint you both pictures.
Pushing through looks like this: gritting your teeth through (15:55):
undefined
another day.
And I can just make it toFriday.
Numbing out with wine, Netflix,scrolling, going through the
motions, disconnecting fromyourself and everyone around
you, resentment building likecompound interest, exhaustion as
your default state, waiting forlife to start later.
(16:17):
And years pass, and you wake upone day and you don't recognize
your life, you don't recognizeyourself, and all you have is
regret for all the time youspent just surviving.
Emerging through looks likethis: engaging with the
challenges as opportunities togrow, using the difficulty as
(16:37):
fuel for transformation, gettingsupport, therapy, coaching,
community, making intentionalchoices even when they're hard,
connecting deeper with yourselfthrough the struggle, using the
season to become, not just tosurvive.
And when you look back, theseason wasn't something you
lost.
It was something that made you.
It was the turning point.
(16:58):
It was where you emerged intowho you were always meant to be.
Instead of pushing through, weneed to emerge out.
Now, here's where I know you aregetting really uncomfortable
because maybe you're thinking,okay, Misty, I hear you.
I want to grow.
I don't want to just pushthrough.
But my family, they won'tunderstand.
(17:20):
They need me to be who I'vealways been.
If I change, if I startprioritizing my own growth, it's
gonna disrupt everything.
The time, the money, theattention I'd be taking away
from them.
How is that not selfish?
How is that not going to hurtthem?
And that, that right there, isthe third lie.
And it might be the mostdangerous one of all.
(17:41):
Let's shed light on what thisbelief sounds like in your head.
Sentences like, they'll thinkI'm selfish.
What if they don't like the newme?
I might outgrow them.
They need me to stay the same.
My growth threatens the familybalance.
And underneath all of that isthis core belief that your
growth is in opposition to yourfamily's well-being.
(18:03):
That you can either grow or havea happy family, but not both.
Can I tell you something?
This belief almost kept me inthat rock bottom place.
Because even when I knew Ineeded to change, even when I
knew I was dying inside, I wasterrified.
I was terrified that if Iactually grew, if I actually
became the person I was meant tobe, that my family wouldn't
(18:25):
recognize me, that they wouldn'twant me, that I'd lose them,
that they would feel like theyweren't enough.
But here's what I discovered,and this is backed by actual
research.
Your growth doesn't disrupt yourfamily.
Your stagnation does.
There has been extensiveresearch on family dynamics and
individual well-being.
And here's what they found.
(18:46):
Better family relationships areassociated with reduced
psychological distress.
More life satisfaction, strongerresilience, better self-esteem,
more optimism.
The list goes on.
But here's the key finding it'sbi-directional.
Quality relationships promoteindividual well-being, and
individual well-being promotesquality relationships.
(19:07):
It's not one or the other.
They fuel each other.
The research shows that whenfamily members receive support,
they feel a greater sense ofself-worth.
That's what you do for yourchildren.
That's what you do for yourhusband.
They can do it for you.
Did you know that enhancedself-esteem is a resource that
encourages optimism, positiveeffect, and better mental
(19:28):
health, which then gets pouredback into the family
relationships, which createsmore support, which increases
well-being?
It's a beautiful cycle, but itonly works if you're in the
cycle, if you're includingyourself, if you're actually
growing.
So what actually disruptsfamilies?
Mom's resentment for stayingsmall, mom's depletion from
(19:49):
constant giving, mom'sinvisibility teaching kids that
women don't matter, mom's martamodeling unhealthy
relationships, mom's stagnationshowing that life ends at
motherhood.
That's what disrupts families,not your growth, your refusal to
grow.
Let me share what actuallyhappened in my family when I
stopped shrinking and startedgrowing.
(20:09):
When I finally stopped trying tofix myself and started
understanding myself, when Ibuilt that foundation of worth
and started making decisionsaligned with who I actually was,
do you know what happened?
I realized it wasn't themremoving me from our life
together like I'd feared.
It had been me removing myself,choice by choice, misguided
(20:30):
understanding by misguidedunderstanding, believing I had
to stay small to keep themhappy, believing I had to erase
myself to prove my love.
But when I started includingmyself, they included me too,
naturally, easily, joyfully.
My marriage improved because myhusband got an actual partner
back, not just someone managingthe household with one foot out
(20:51):
the door mentally.
My kids' relationships with meimproved because I wasn't
hovering over them.
I wasn't making every decisionfor them because I needed to be
needed.
I trusted them.
I released them and theyflourished.
And here's what I didn't expect.
I became more alive and theyloved it.
They loved having a mom who wasactually present, not just going
(21:12):
through the motions.
They loved having a mom who hadher own interests, her own
growth, her own life because itshowed them what was possible.
It gave them permission, itprovided a vision for their own
lives.
My daughter saw that women don'tstop becoming when they become
mothers.
My son learned what to expectfrom future relationships, that
women are whole people withdreams and worth.
(21:35):
Because here's what you need tounderstand.
You're teaching your childrenevery single day, not through
what you say, but through whatyou do.
When you shrink, you teach themto shrink.
When you martyr yourself, youteach them that love requires
self-erasure.
When you stay stuck, you teachthem that change isn't possible.
When you push your needs aside,you teach them that their needs
(21:58):
don't matter.
But when you grow, when you stepinto your worth, when you
include yourself in your ownlife, you teach them that growth
is lifelong.
You teach them thattransformation is possible.
You teach them that women arewhole people.
You teach them that worthdoesn't expire.
Your growth doesn't take awayfrom your family.
(22:21):
It multiplies what you have togive them because you cannot
pour from an empty cup, but youcan overflow from a full one.
So let's bring this all togetherbecause here's what connects all
three of these lies.
They're all rooted in onefundamental misunderstanding,
and that's about your worth.
Worth is the foundation to allthings in our life, good or bad.
(22:44):
We make choices, we acceptcircumstances, we stay stuck or
we grow based on the value wesee in ourselves.
And here's how it works.
Low self-worth leads to lowself-esteem, which leads to
choices, behaviors, andreactions that represent those
internal beliefs.
Let me give you a picture.
Think about finding a randomfinger painting from a child you
(23:05):
don't know.
Scribbles, just an old project.
You'd assess it as little value.
You'd probably throw it away ifyou found it all on the ground,
right?
But a finger painting from yourchild, oh my goodness, that's a
masterpiece.
That's getting hung up, that'sgetting kept forever.
You ooh and you ah over the tinycute hand, the little feathers
creating the turkey wings, youtreasure it.
(23:27):
It's the same type of art.
But the assessed value iscompletely different.
And right now, you are assessingyour worth the way you'd assess
that random child's painting.
Low value, disposable, not worthinvesting in.
Just push through, just fixwhat's broken.
But if you saw your true worth,the way you see your child's
(23:51):
art, everything would change.
You'd see yourself as precious,worth protecting, worth
investing in, worth growing,worth honoring.
And here's how worth connects toeverything we talked about
today.
When you believe growth isfixed, it's because you have low
worth.
You see yourself as broken.
But when you step into trueworth, you see I am whole and
(24:14):
expanding.
When you believe just pushthrough, it's because you have
low worth.
Your needs and growth don'tmatter enough to prioritize.
But when you step into trueworth, you see my growth is
valuable and worth engagingwith.
When you believe family won'tunderstand, it's because you
have low worth.
(24:35):
Your growth isn't valuableenough to potentially cause
discomfort.
But when you step into trueworth, you see my growth
benefits everyone.
I am worth the investment.
Now, let me pause here for asecond because I know that might
be hard to hear.
You might be sitting therefeeling like I just called you
out, like I just exposedsomething you weren't ready to
(24:56):
look at.
And I know some of that mighthave stung a little.
And listen, that's not myintention.
I'm not saying any of this tohurt you or make you feel worse
about where you are.
I'm saying it because I careabout you.
I've been exactly where you are.
I've been in that exact placewhere I was treating myself like
I had no value, where I wastrying to fix what wasn't
(25:17):
broken, where I was pushingthrough instead of emerging.
And I know what it's like torealize that you've been
operating from low worth.
It's uncomfortable.
It's confronting.
But here's why I'm telling youthis.
I know what's possible on theother side of stepping into your
worth.
And I believe that you deserveto know.
You deserve to understand whynothing has worked.
(25:38):
You deserve to see that there'snothing wrong with you.
There's just been somethingwrong with what you've been
believing about yourself.
And more than that, you deserveto know what changes when you
step into your true worth.
Because everything, and I meaneverything, changes.
So here's what I need you toknow.
It's never too late to step intoyour worth and create a life
(26:00):
that intentionally honors thatworth.
Because you are worth it todayin this season, in this moment,
not tomorrow, not when the kidsare older, not when things calm
down.
Now, because here's the truth.
We've been dancing around thiswhole episode.
You're not broken to grow.
You're not stuck in a season,you just have to survive.
(26:21):
And your family won't bedisrupted by your becoming.
They will be liberated by it.
But you have to step into yourworth first.
You have to build thatfoundation.
You have to stop believing thelies that you're broken and you
just need to push through, thatyour growth is in opposition to
everyone else's well-being.
And if you're sitting therethinking, okay, Misty, I hear
(26:43):
you.
I want this, but I don't evenknow where to start.
I don't know how to step into myworth.
I don't know what that evenlooks like practically.
I've got you.
I am hosting a brand new freethree-day virtual event called
Reclaiming Who You Are BeyondMom and Wife.
Over these three days, we'regoing to excavate the dreams and
purposes that have been buried.
(27:04):
We're going to understand howyour experiences have actually
prepared you for this nextseason to design a vision for
your life that honors both whoyou've been and who you're
becoming.
We're going to create a plan foryour family relationships that
include you in them.
And we're going to build thefoundation, the worth foundation
for becoming your utmost self.
(27:25):
The priority notification listis open right now.
And here's why you want to be onit.
People on the priority list getfirst access, they get bonuses
and information before everyoneelse.
Plus, I'll be sending somepre-event resources to help you
start preparing.
Get on that list at your upmostself.com forward slash reclaim
identity beyond motherhoodpriority list.
(27:45):
I know it's long, so I'll putthat link in the show notes too.
You can also find it pretty mucheverywhere on the website
yourUpmostSelf.com.
Listen, if you're tired offeeling broken, you're done
pushing through, if you're readyto stop believing that your
growth and your family'swell-being are in opposition,
this event is for you.
(28:05):
You're not broken, you're buriedunder roles and expectations and
beliefs that were never yours tobegin with.
And you're not stuck in aseason, you just have to
survive.
You're standing at aninvitation, an invitation to
emerge, an invitation to become,an invitation to step into your
worth and your family, they'renot going to be disrupted by
(28:26):
your growth.
They're waiting for you to comeback to life.
They're waiting for you toinclude yourself, to see what's
possible when mom stops justsurviving and starts actually
living.
It's never too late.
Your worth doesn't expire.
And the foundation you builtnow, the understanding, the
growth, the intentional designof your life, that's what
changes everything for you, forthem, for generations to come.
(28:50):
What you two?
You matter.
So thank you for being heretoday.
I will see you in the nextepisode and I hope on the
priority notice list.
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