May 22, 2025 • 19 mins
You've done it all—affirmations, vision boards, gratitude journals. You’ve picked your word of the year, whispered “I am enough” into your mirror, and tried to stay positive… but something still feels off.
That quiet ache—the emptiness that lingers despite your best efforts—has a root cause most personal growth advice skips over. And it's not because you're broken or undisciplined.
It’s because you’re building on a foundation that was never solid to begin with.
In this episode of The Your Utmost Life Podcast, we explore the neuroscience, psychology, and soul behind why motivation fades—and what you truly need instead. You'll learn:
- Why 80% of people abandon their growth goals in just 6 weeks (hint: it's not lack of willpower)
- How subconscious beliefs formed in childhood silently override your conscious efforts
- Why you can’t positive-think your way out of a story you’ve never questioned
- What’s actually keeping you stuck in the False-Healing Trap—and how to get free
We’ll walk through a new path to real transformation, one that doesn't demand you do more, but invites you to go deeper. You’ll discover three powerful Self-Worth Anchors to help you rebuild from within:
- Get honest about what you really believe—beneath the mantras and mirror quotes
- Trade surface positivity for sacred honesty—because pretending isn’t healing
- Begin from identity, not effort—you don’t build worth, you uncover it
This journey isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been before the world told you who to be. You are not broken—you are buried. And it’s time to rise.
Featured Quote:
“You don’t need to try harder. You need to come home to who you are.”
Your Utmost Life Alignment Check-In
Not just another motivational worksheet—a mirror to your truth.
→ Download now
Ready for a Different Kind of Growth?
Let this episode be your invitation to stop fixing and start uncovering. Because when healing starts at the root—when you rebuild from your worth—everything else follows naturally.
👉 Download your free Alignment Check-In and take the first gentle step toward a life built on truth, not performance.
📲 Share this episode with a friend who needs to know she’s not broken—just buried. Let her know she’s not alone.
🔗 Follow along on Instagram for daily encouragement and behind-the-scenes heart-to-hearts: @yourutmostself
🎧 Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a conversation that reminds you who you are.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Misty Celli (00:00):
Have you ever felt like your personal growth tips
(00:02):
should be working by now?
You've done the affirmations,you've picked your word of the
year, you've tried manifesting,journaling, meditating or
reciting something like I amenough, but you still feel like
you're falling short.
You don't feel broken exactly,but you do feel tired of
pretending the post-it note onyour bathroom mirror is enough
to fix the ache in your chest.
If that's you, I see you and Iwant to know that you are not
(00:25):
alone.
According to research, over 80%of people abandon their
personal growth goals withinjust six weeks.
It's not because they don'twant change.
It's because something deeperis missing.
In this episode.
I want to offer a gentlereframe, a deeper truth that
might bring you both relief anda new path forward, Because
maybe it's not that you're doingit wrong.
(00:47):
Maybe it's just that no onetold you that true healing can't
start at the surface.
Let me share something personal.
For years, I had a beautifuljournal filled with affirmations
.
I wrote them faithfully everymorning.
I am worried, I am successful,I am enough.
I said the words, I tried tofeel the feelings and I did
(01:08):
everything right.
But at night, when the house isquiet, I still felt hollow.
I felt empty, like I wasplaying a part in my own life
rather than truly living it.
What I discovered and what Iwant to share with you today is
something that changedeverything for me, and I believe
it could change everything foryou too.
So let's talk honestly.
(01:31):
So many women, especially moms,especially those of us in
midlife, are burned out on whatI call performative healing.
You know what I mean.
It's the vision boards withoutself-reflection.
It's the gratitude journalsthat bypass grief.
It's the routines that ignorethe 2 am meltdowns.
It's the affirmations layeredover decades of unspoken pain.
(01:51):
We are drowning in pretty toolsand polished promises.
Everywhere we look, there'sanother expert telling us just
change your mindset.
Just think positive.
Just say your mantras.
Just visualize abundance.
Just wake up at 5 am.
Just drink more water.
Just think positive.
Just say your mantras.
Just visualize abundance.
Just wake up at 5 am.
Just drink more water.
There's nothing inherently wrongwith any of these practices.
(02:12):
In fact, they can be beautifulsupports on our journey, but
here's the truth many of us havebeen missing.
You cannot positive think yourway out of a story you've never
questioned.
You cannot affirm your waythrough a belief that was built
on survival and shame, and youcannot manifest what your
(02:32):
deepest self doesn't believe youdeserve.
You're not crazy for feelinglike it's not working.
You're not failing, you're justwaking up.
Motherhood is a gift, but let'sbe honest it can also leave you
feeling overwhelmed, invisibleand disconnected from the woman
you once were.
If you ever wondered who am Ibeyond being a mom, know this
you are not alone.
(02:53):
Welcome to your Upmost Life.
I'm Misty, a mom just like you,who has faced chaos, self-doubt
and the loss of identity,hitting rock bottom and emerging
stronger, with clarity,confidence and purpose.
Each week, we will explorepractical tools and
transformative truths to helpyou reclaim your identity,
rebuild your confidence andrediscover the joy that lights
(03:14):
you up On this journey.
Together, you'll break freefrom overwhelm, embrace your
worth and step fully into themost authentic version of
yourself.
Through heartfelt conversationsand actionable strategies, you
will learn how to design a lifethat excites and fulfills you, a
life where you become the womanyou were always meant to be,
because you're not just a mom.
You are so much more, and ifyou're ready to embrace her,
(03:35):
let's get started.
Maybe you've been the woman whodid all the things and found
herself breaking down in her car.
Maybe you've read the books,pinned the latest tips, tried
the routines and still feel anemptiness you couldn't name.
If so, you are not alone.
I've been there, and many womenI've spoken with have felt the
exact same way.
(03:56):
Here's what I call the falsehealing trap.
It's when you try to fix a coreidentity wound with a
surface-level quote.
It feels productive, it lookspretty, your Instagram stories
make it look like you're doingthe work, but it doesn't go deep
enough to change the storyunderneath, and so the wound
stays quiet, hidden, stillbleeding.
(04:18):
Then, when the quote doesn'twork, you blame yourself.
Maybe I just don't believe ithard enough.
Maybe I'm not trying hardenough.
Maybe I need to be moredisciplined, maybe there's
something wrong with me.
But here's what really happensin this your mind can't believe
what your heart hasn't healed.
That's not failure, that'sbiology, that's neuroscience,
(04:43):
that's compassion.
Let me explain how this worksin your brain.
When you experience somethingpainful or traumatic, even
something seemingly small, likea moment being criticized by a
parent or rejected by peers,your brain creates a protective
belief system.
These beliefs become youroperating system and they run
(05:03):
quietly in the background ofeverything you do.
Research in neuroscience showsthat approximately 95% of our
decisions and behaviors comefrom our subconscious mind, that
part of us that operates belowour awareness, old wound.
Your subconscious that 5% mightwant to believe it, but your
(05:25):
subconscious that 95% it rejectsit as false information.
It's trying to install newsoftware on a corrupt operating
system.
The download fails not becausethe software is bad, but because
the foundation can't support it.
That is why you can knowintellectually that you are
worthy and still feel unworthy.
(05:46):
You can understand the conceptof abundance, but you still
operate from scarcity.
You can practice gratitude butstill feel disconnected from joy
.
Or you can create a beautifulmorning routine but still feel
empty inside.
And this brings us to a criticalquestion If surface level work
isn't enough, what do we doinstead?
You don't need more motivation,you need more meaning.
(06:10):
Motivation is a match it flaresup fast, it burns out, but
meaning is a lantern it glowssteady through the dark.
And that's what this journey isabout Not doing more, but
becoming more connected to whatmatters most.
The problem with most personaldevelopment approaches is that
they focus on behavior changewithout addressing the identity
(06:32):
change.
They give you tactics withouttouching your truth, but real
transformation happens from theinside out, not the outside in.
So here's the shift I inviteyou to consider Instead of
chasing motivation, ask whatgives me meaning.
Instead of trying to forcechange, ask what truth have I
(06:53):
been avoiding.
Instead of repeatingaffirmations, ask what belief am
I building them on?
Or, instead of focusing on whatdo you do, explore who you are
becoming.
This isn't just philosophical,it's practical.
When you connect to meaning,motivation naturally follows.
When you heal the core, thesurface reflects the healing
without effort.
(07:14):
Think about someone in your lifewho seems effortlessly
confident.
Chances are they're not justreciting affirmations every
morning.
They've integrated a sense ofworthiness into their identity.
Or consider someone who'sconsistently showing up with joy
and purpose.
They likely aren't forcingpositivity.
They've connected to somethingmeaningful that pulls them
(07:36):
forward naturally.
This is the difference betweensurface change and soul change.
One requires constant effortand willpower.
The other unfolds naturallyonce the barriers are removed.
If you've ever wondered what todo when the quotes stop working,
here's what I want to offer youtoday.
These aren't just quick tips,they're anchors, foundation work
(07:58):
, healing identity level.
So the first anchor is this Gethonest about what you really
believe.
Not what you want to believe,not what you think you should
believe, but what your actionsare quietly revealing.
Think of it this way your lifeis speaking a truth your words
might be denying.
Ask yourself what do I reallybelieve about myself when no
(08:22):
one's watching?
What does my inner dialogue saywhen I'm tired or it's late or
I'm triggered?
What emotion do I feel when Isay I'm enough?
Relief or resistance?
What patterns keep repeating inmy relationships, my work, my
health and where do Iconsistently sabotage myself?
What might that reveal aboutwhat I believe I deserve?
(08:45):
Your first step is not tochange the belief.
It's to name it, to bring itfrom the shadows to the light
where you can see it clearly,because the moment you name it,
you reclaim power over it.
Many of us have been carrying abelief like I'm only valuable
when I'm productive.
I have to earn love throughachievement.
(09:05):
If I let people see the real me, they'll reject me.
I don't deserve rest untileverything is perfect.
My needs matter less thaneveryone else's.
These aren't character flaws.
They're survival mechanisms.
They're the stories that yourbrain created to make sense of
your experiences and to keepyourself safe, and they made
(09:25):
perfect sense at the time.
As a child, you didn't have theresources to process complex
pain or rejection, so youcreated these beliefs as a way
to navigate the world thatsometimes felt unsafe or
conditional in its love.
The work now isn't to judgethose beliefs, but to gently
question whether they're stillserving you, whether they're
still true, whether they stillneed to be the foundation of
(09:47):
your identity.
The second anchor is this tradesurface positivity for sacred
honesty.
There's nothing wrong withaffirmations when they're rooted
in truth.
But if your self-talk feelslike a costume instead of a
conversation, it's time to stripit back.
So start here.
Instead of writing I ampowerful, try writing right now.
(10:10):
I feel tired, I feel lost, Ifeel invisible.
And instead of forcinggratitude when you're grieving,
try saying today I honor bothwhat I've lost and what remains.
And instead of pushing yourselfto be productive when you're
depleted, try acknowledging myworth isn't tied to what I
accomplish or what I do forothers.
(10:31):
You don't need to solve it inthat moment, but you do need to
witness it.
Healing starts with permissionto feel exactly what you feel,
without shame, without fixing itor without faking it.
This practice of radicalhonesty doesn't mean you stay
stuck in negativity.
It means you stop wastingenergy pretending and start
(10:52):
directing that energy towardauthentic growth.
It means you create space forboth your pain and your
possibility.
It means you honor humannessinstead of forcing an artificial
positivity that your body knowsisn't true.
And the paradox is this themore you allow yourself to be
exactly where you are, the morecapacity you create for becoming
(11:13):
who you want to be.
The third anchor is this Beginfrom identity, not effort.
Don't build self-worth bytrying harder.
You reclaim it by rememberingwho you are beneath the
performance.
That's why, inside the EuromistLife Method, we don't start
with morning routines or mindsethacks.
We start by excavating who youwere before the rules took over,
(11:37):
what you believed before thelabel stuck.
Where you stopped being honestin order to belong, and what
parts of yourself you've hiddento feel safe, what dreams you've
abandoned to meet others'expectations.
Because the truth is this youare not broken, you are buried.
And real transformation isn'tabout becoming someone else.
(11:57):
It's about returning to whoyou've always been.
Think of it like this Imagine abeautiful diamond buried under
layers of dirt.
The diamond itself isn't flawed, it's just covered.
It doesn't need to be fixed, itneeds to be found.
That is you, that is your worth, that is your essence.
The work isn't to createsomething new, but to uncover
(12:19):
what's always been there beneaththe conditioning, beneath the
coping mechanisms, beneath themask that you have worn to
navigate a world that wasn'talways safe for your
authenticity.
This approach changeseverything, because it shifts
your starting point.
Instead of saying how can I fixmyself, you ask how can I know
myself?
And instead of what do I needto add, you ask what can I
(12:43):
release?
Instead of how can I becomeworthy, you recognize I was born
worthy.
Now that we've explored thefoundation, let's talk about
what this journey actually lookslike in practice, because
healing isn't a one-time event.
It's a continuous unfolding, areturning, a remembering, and it
happens in layers, not leaps.
(13:05):
The first shift occurs in howyou relate to yourself.
Instead of being your owncritic, you become your own
witness.
You develop the capacity toobserve your thoughts, feelings
and behaviors without judgment.
This witnessing presence iswhat mindfulness traditions have
been taught for thousands ofyears not a way to manifest
abundance, but as a path toprofound self-knowledge and
(13:27):
freedom.
From this place of awareness,you can begin to question the
stories that have shaped youridentity.
Is it true that I am onlylovable when I achieve?
Is it true that expressing myneeds makes me selfish?
Is it true that rest must beearned?
Is it true that my worthdepends on others' approval.
(13:48):
As you gently question thesebeliefs, you create space for
new possibilities to emerge.
The second shift happens in howyou relate to your emotions.
Instead of categorizingfeelings as positive or negative
, you recognize that allemotions carry wisdom.
All emotions deserve to be felt.
Grief shows what you've loved,anger reveals where your
(14:09):
boundaries have been crossed,and fear highlights what you
value.
When you stop resisting theseemotions, when you stop trying
to positive think your way outof them, they move through you
more easily and leave theirlessons behind.
The third shift occurs in howyou relate to your past.
Instead of trying to outrun itor overcome it, you integrate it
.
You recognize that your woundshave shaped you, but they don't
(14:32):
define you.
This integration allows you toaccess the wisdom your
challenges have been given youwithout remaining stuck in the
pain they caused.
And finally, the fourth shifttransforms how you relate to
your future.
Instead of chasing externalmarkers or success or validation
, you align your choices withyour authentic values and
(14:53):
desires.
This alignment creates a lifethat feels like home rather than
a performance, a life built ontruth rather than shoulds.
We're living in an age ofunprecedented disconnection,
despite our constant digitalconnection, rates of loneliness,
anxiety and depression continueto rise.
Many of us feel more isolatedthan ever, not just from others,
(15:15):
but from ourselves.
We've outsourced our wisdom toinfluencers.
We've replaced intuition withalgorithms.
We've substituted depth fordistraction.
And in this landscape, theinvitation to return to yourself
, to build from the inside out,isn't just a personal growth
strategy.
It is a radical act ofreclamation.
It's a way of saying I refuseto abandon myself again.
(15:36):
I refuse to build my worth onshifting external validation.
I refuse to measure my life bymetrics that don't matter to my
soul.
And when you heal at the levelof identity, when you reconnect
with your inherent worth, youdon't just transform your own
life.
You contribute to a widerhealing.
You model for your childrenwhat authentic self-connection
(15:57):
looks like.
You bring presence rather thanperformance to your
relationships.
You make choices aligned withyour values rather than driven
by fear or conformity, and indoing so, you help create a
world where worth isn't earnedbut recognized, for, healing
isn't performative but profound,and where growth isn't measured
by acquisition but by alignment.
(16:18):
So, friend, if you've beenstuck in the cycle of, I should
feel better by now.
Why isn't this quote working?
I've tried everything, but Istill felt off.
Then maybe today is yourinvitation to stop fixing and
start rebuilding, because youdon't need another tool, you
don't need more willpower, youdon't need to earn your worth.
(16:38):
You need truth, you needclarity, you need self-worth as
your starting point.
This journey isn't always easy.
There will be moments when itfeels simpler to stay on the
surface, to keep doing whatyou've always done, even if it's
not getting you where you wantto go.
There will be discomfort infacing the beliefs that have
been running beneath yourawareness.
There will be grief inrecognizing how long you've
(17:01):
abandoned parts of yourself.
But here's the deal.
This healing work is hard, butso is staying stuck in the cycle
that you are in now.
This isn't easy either.
It's exhausting, it's numbing,it's quietly heartbreaking and,
worst of all, it's not gettingyou any closer to the woman that
you long to be or the life thatyou dream of.
(17:23):
It's keeping you from it.
Every time you allow those oldbeliefs to speak louder than
your truth, you take one morestep away from the wholeness
that you crave.
So if you're going to be doinghard, why not choose the kind
that leads to peace and clarityand purpose?
Why not choose the kind thatsets you free?
(17:44):
I say all this not because I'mabove the pain, but because I
have lived in it.
I know what it's like to carryshame like a second skin, to
smile on the outside whilecrumbling and dying quietly
inside, and I know how heavy itis to feel like you've never
quite enough, no matter how muchyou give.
That season of my life nearlybroke me, and maybe you're
(18:06):
living in that season now.
If so, I want you to know.
This matters to me, not just asa mentor or a voice in your ear
, but as a woman who's walkedthrough the fire and refuses to
let other women stay stuck inthe smoke, Because I believe
deep in my bones that you werenever meant to live buried.
You were made for fullness, forfreedom, for joy.
(18:30):
And on the other side of all ofthat discomfort and grief is a
freedom that you've probablyglimpsed but never fully claimed
the freedom to be exactly whoyou are, without apology or
performance.
The freedom to build a lifethat feels like home rather than
constant striving.
The freedom to know, without adoubt, that you are enough, not
(18:51):
because a post-it note told youso, but because you have done
the sacred work to uncoverwhat's always been true you are
not broken.
You are buried, and it's timeto start digging yourself out.
Instead of picking a newaffirmation this week, pick a
new question.
Ask yourself what if nothing iswrong with me and everything is
(19:12):
just riding to be healed?
That's where we begin.
That's how we build your utmostlife from the inside out.
If you want a guided way toexplore what beliefs might be
keeping you stuck in surfacesolutions, download the free
your Utmost Life check-in.
It's not a motivationalworksheet, it's a mirror, and it
will gently walk you back tothe foundation that's been
(19:35):
missing all along your worth.
You don't need to try harder.
You need to come home to whoyou are, to the truth beneath
the noise, to the woman you werealways meant to be.
So until next time, you are notbroken.
You are buried, and it's timeto start digging yourself out
again.
Have you ever felt like your personal growth tips
(00:02):
should be working by now?
You've done the affirmations,you've picked your word of the
year, you've tried manifesting,journaling, meditating or
reciting something like I amenough, but you still feel like
you're falling short.
You don't feel broken exactly,but you do feel tired of
pretending the post-it note onyour bathroom mirror is enough
to fix the ache in your chest.
If that's you, I see you and Iwant to know that you are not
(00:25):
alone.
According to research, over 80%of people abandon their
personal growth goals withinjust six weeks.
It's not because they don'twant change.
It's because something deeperis missing.
In this episode.
I want to offer a gentlereframe, a deeper truth that
might bring you both relief anda new path forward, Because
maybe it's not that you're doingit wrong.
(00:47):
Maybe it's just that no onetold you that true healing can't
start at the surface.
Let me share something personal.
For years, I had a beautifuljournal filled with affirmations
.
I wrote them faithfully everymorning.
I am worried, I am successful,I am enough.
I said the words, I tried tofeel the feelings and I did
(01:08):
everything right.
But at night, when the house isquiet, I still felt hollow.
I felt empty, like I wasplaying a part in my own life
rather than truly living it.
What I discovered and what Iwant to share with you today is
something that changedeverything for me, and I believe
it could change everything foryou too.
So let's talk honestly.
(01:31):
So many women, especially moms,especially those of us in
midlife, are burned out on whatI call performative healing.
You know what I mean.
It's the vision boards withoutself-reflection.
It's the gratitude journalsthat bypass grief.
It's the routines that ignorethe 2 am meltdowns.
It's the affirmations layeredover decades of unspoken pain.
(01:51):
We are drowning in pretty toolsand polished promises.
Everywhere we look, there'sanother expert telling us just
change your mindset.
Just think positive.
Just say your mantras.
Just visualize abundance.
Just wake up at 5 am.
Just drink more water.
Just think positive.
Just say your mantras.
Just visualize abundance.
Just wake up at 5 am.
Just drink more water.
There's nothing inherently wrongwith any of these practices.
(02:12):
In fact, they can be beautifulsupports on our journey, but
here's the truth many of us havebeen missing.
You cannot positive think yourway out of a story you've never
questioned.
You cannot affirm your waythrough a belief that was built
on survival and shame, and youcannot manifest what your
(02:32):
deepest self doesn't believe youdeserve.
You're not crazy for feelinglike it's not working.
You're not failing, you're justwaking up.
Motherhood is a gift, but let'sbe honest it can also leave you
feeling overwhelmed, invisibleand disconnected from the woman
you once were.
If you ever wondered who am Ibeyond being a mom, know this
you are not alone.
(02:53):
Welcome to your Upmost Life.
I'm Misty, a mom just like you,who has faced chaos, self-doubt
and the loss of identity,hitting rock bottom and emerging
stronger, with clarity,confidence and purpose.
Each week, we will explorepractical tools and
transformative truths to helpyou reclaim your identity,
rebuild your confidence andrediscover the joy that lights
(03:14):
you up On this journey.
Together, you'll break freefrom overwhelm, embrace your
worth and step fully into themost authentic version of
yourself.
Through heartfelt conversationsand actionable strategies, you
will learn how to design a lifethat excites and fulfills you, a
life where you become the womanyou were always meant to be,
because you're not just a mom.
You are so much more, and ifyou're ready to embrace her,
(03:35):
let's get started.
Maybe you've been the woman whodid all the things and found
herself breaking down in her car.
Maybe you've read the books,pinned the latest tips, tried
the routines and still feel anemptiness you couldn't name.
If so, you are not alone.
I've been there, and many womenI've spoken with have felt the
exact same way.
(03:56):
Here's what I call the falsehealing trap.
It's when you try to fix a coreidentity wound with a
surface-level quote.
It feels productive, it lookspretty, your Instagram stories
make it look like you're doingthe work, but it doesn't go deep
enough to change the storyunderneath, and so the wound
stays quiet, hidden, stillbleeding.
(04:18):
Then, when the quote doesn'twork, you blame yourself.
Maybe I just don't believe ithard enough.
Maybe I'm not trying hardenough.
Maybe I need to be moredisciplined, maybe there's
something wrong with me.
But here's what really happensin this your mind can't believe
what your heart hasn't healed.
That's not failure, that'sbiology, that's neuroscience,
(04:43):
that's compassion.
Let me explain how this worksin your brain.
When you experience somethingpainful or traumatic, even
something seemingly small, likea moment being criticized by a
parent or rejected by peers,your brain creates a protective
belief system.
These beliefs become youroperating system and they run
(05:03):
quietly in the background ofeverything you do.
Research in neuroscience showsthat approximately 95% of our
decisions and behaviors comefrom our subconscious mind, that
part of us that operates belowour awareness, old wound.
Your subconscious that 5% mightwant to believe it, but your
(05:25):
subconscious that 95% it rejectsit as false information.
It's trying to install newsoftware on a corrupt operating
system.
The download fails not becausethe software is bad, but because
the foundation can't support it.
That is why you can knowintellectually that you are
worthy and still feel unworthy.
(05:46):
You can understand the conceptof abundance, but you still
operate from scarcity.
You can practice gratitude butstill feel disconnected from joy
.
Or you can create a beautifulmorning routine but still feel
empty inside.
And this brings us to a criticalquestion If surface level work
isn't enough, what do we doinstead?
You don't need more motivation,you need more meaning.
(06:10):
Motivation is a match it flaresup fast, it burns out, but
meaning is a lantern it glowssteady through the dark.
And that's what this journey isabout Not doing more, but
becoming more connected to whatmatters most.
The problem with most personaldevelopment approaches is that
they focus on behavior changewithout addressing the identity
(06:32):
change.
They give you tactics withouttouching your truth, but real
transformation happens from theinside out, not the outside in.
So here's the shift I inviteyou to consider Instead of
chasing motivation, ask whatgives me meaning.
Instead of trying to forcechange, ask what truth have I
(06:53):
been avoiding.
Instead of repeatingaffirmations, ask what belief am
I building them on?
Or, instead of focusing on whatdo you do, explore who you are
becoming.
This isn't just philosophical,it's practical.
When you connect to meaning,motivation naturally follows.
When you heal the core, thesurface reflects the healing
without effort.
(07:14):
Think about someone in your lifewho seems effortlessly
confident.
Chances are they're not justreciting affirmations every
morning.
They've integrated a sense ofworthiness into their identity.
Or consider someone who'sconsistently showing up with joy
and purpose.
They likely aren't forcingpositivity.
They've connected to somethingmeaningful that pulls them
(07:36):
forward naturally.
This is the difference betweensurface change and soul change.
One requires constant effortand willpower.
The other unfolds naturallyonce the barriers are removed.
If you've ever wondered what todo when the quotes stop working,
here's what I want to offer youtoday.
These aren't just quick tips,they're anchors, foundation work
(07:58):
, healing identity level.
So the first anchor is this Gethonest about what you really
believe.
Not what you want to believe,not what you think you should
believe, but what your actionsare quietly revealing.
Think of it this way your lifeis speaking a truth your words
might be denying.
Ask yourself what do I reallybelieve about myself when no
(08:22):
one's watching?
What does my inner dialogue saywhen I'm tired or it's late or
I'm triggered?
What emotion do I feel when Isay I'm enough?
Relief or resistance?
What patterns keep repeating inmy relationships, my work, my
health and where do Iconsistently sabotage myself?
What might that reveal aboutwhat I believe I deserve?
(08:45):
Your first step is not tochange the belief.
It's to name it, to bring itfrom the shadows to the light
where you can see it clearly,because the moment you name it,
you reclaim power over it.
Many of us have been carrying abelief like I'm only valuable
when I'm productive.
I have to earn love throughachievement.
(09:05):
If I let people see the real me, they'll reject me.
I don't deserve rest untileverything is perfect.
My needs matter less thaneveryone else's.
These aren't character flaws.
They're survival mechanisms.
They're the stories that yourbrain created to make sense of
your experiences and to keepyourself safe, and they made
(09:25):
perfect sense at the time.
As a child, you didn't have theresources to process complex
pain or rejection, so youcreated these beliefs as a way
to navigate the world thatsometimes felt unsafe or
conditional in its love.
The work now isn't to judgethose beliefs, but to gently
question whether they're stillserving you, whether they're
still true, whether they stillneed to be the foundation of
(09:47):
your identity.
The second anchor is this tradesurface positivity for sacred
honesty.
There's nothing wrong withaffirmations when they're rooted
in truth.
But if your self-talk feelslike a costume instead of a
conversation, it's time to stripit back.
So start here.
Instead of writing I ampowerful, try writing right now.
(10:10):
I feel tired, I feel lost, Ifeel invisible.
And instead of forcinggratitude when you're grieving,
try saying today I honor bothwhat I've lost and what remains.
And instead of pushing yourselfto be productive when you're
depleted, try acknowledging myworth isn't tied to what I
accomplish or what I do forothers.
(10:31):
You don't need to solve it inthat moment, but you do need to
witness it.
Healing starts with permissionto feel exactly what you feel,
without shame, without fixing itor without faking it.
This practice of radicalhonesty doesn't mean you stay
stuck in negativity.
It means you stop wastingenergy pretending and start
(10:52):
directing that energy towardauthentic growth.
It means you create space forboth your pain and your
possibility.
It means you honor humannessinstead of forcing an artificial
positivity that your body knowsisn't true.
And the paradox is this themore you allow yourself to be
exactly where you are, the morecapacity you create for becoming
(11:13):
who you want to be.
The third anchor is this Beginfrom identity, not effort.
Don't build self-worth bytrying harder.
You reclaim it by rememberingwho you are beneath the
performance.
That's why, inside the EuromistLife Method, we don't start
with morning routines or mindsethacks.
We start by excavating who youwere before the rules took over,
(11:37):
what you believed before thelabel stuck.
Where you stopped being honestin order to belong, and what
parts of yourself you've hiddento feel safe, what dreams you've
abandoned to meet others'expectations.
Because the truth is this youare not broken, you are buried.
And real transformation isn'tabout becoming someone else.
(11:57):
It's about returning to whoyou've always been.
Think of it like this Imagine abeautiful diamond buried under
layers of dirt.
The diamond itself isn't flawed, it's just covered.
It doesn't need to be fixed, itneeds to be found.
That is you, that is your worth, that is your essence.
The work isn't to createsomething new, but to uncover
(12:19):
what's always been there beneaththe conditioning, beneath the
coping mechanisms, beneath themask that you have worn to
navigate a world that wasn'talways safe for your
authenticity.
This approach changeseverything, because it shifts
your starting point.
Instead of saying how can I fixmyself, you ask how can I know
myself?
And instead of what do I needto add, you ask what can I
(12:43):
release?
Instead of how can I becomeworthy, you recognize I was born
worthy.
Now that we've explored thefoundation, let's talk about
what this journey actually lookslike in practice, because
healing isn't a one-time event.
It's a continuous unfolding, areturning, a remembering, and it
happens in layers, not leaps.
(13:05):
The first shift occurs in howyou relate to yourself.
Instead of being your owncritic, you become your own
witness.
You develop the capacity toobserve your thoughts, feelings
and behaviors without judgment.
This witnessing presence iswhat mindfulness traditions have
been taught for thousands ofyears not a way to manifest
abundance, but as a path toprofound self-knowledge and
(13:27):
freedom.
From this place of awareness,you can begin to question the
stories that have shaped youridentity.
Is it true that I am onlylovable when I achieve?
Is it true that expressing myneeds makes me selfish?
Is it true that rest must beearned?
Is it true that my worthdepends on others' approval.
(13:48):
As you gently question thesebeliefs, you create space for
new possibilities to emerge.
The second shift happens in howyou relate to your emotions.
Instead of categorizingfeelings as positive or negative
, you recognize that allemotions carry wisdom.
All emotions deserve to be felt.
Grief shows what you've loved,anger reveals where your
(14:09):
boundaries have been crossed,and fear highlights what you
value.
When you stop resisting theseemotions, when you stop trying
to positive think your way outof them, they move through you
more easily and leave theirlessons behind.
The third shift occurs in howyou relate to your past.
Instead of trying to outrun itor overcome it, you integrate it
.
You recognize that your woundshave shaped you, but they don't
(14:32):
define you.
This integration allows you toaccess the wisdom your
challenges have been given youwithout remaining stuck in the
pain they caused.
And finally, the fourth shifttransforms how you relate to
your future.
Instead of chasing externalmarkers or success or validation
, you align your choices withyour authentic values and
(14:53):
desires.
This alignment creates a lifethat feels like home rather than
a performance, a life built ontruth rather than shoulds.
We're living in an age ofunprecedented disconnection,
despite our constant digitalconnection, rates of loneliness,
anxiety and depression continueto rise.
Many of us feel more isolatedthan ever, not just from others,
(15:15):
but from ourselves.
We've outsourced our wisdom toinfluencers.
We've replaced intuition withalgorithms.
We've substituted depth fordistraction.
And in this landscape, theinvitation to return to yourself
, to build from the inside out,isn't just a personal growth
strategy.
It is a radical act ofreclamation.
It's a way of saying I refuseto abandon myself again.
(15:36):
I refuse to build my worth onshifting external validation.
I refuse to measure my life bymetrics that don't matter to my
soul.
And when you heal at the levelof identity, when you reconnect
with your inherent worth, youdon't just transform your own
life.
You contribute to a widerhealing.
You model for your childrenwhat authentic self-connection
(15:57):
looks like.
You bring presence rather thanperformance to your
relationships.
You make choices aligned withyour values rather than driven
by fear or conformity, and indoing so, you help create a
world where worth isn't earnedbut recognized, for, healing
isn't performative but profound,and where growth isn't measured
by acquisition but by alignment.
(16:18):
So, friend, if you've beenstuck in the cycle of, I should
feel better by now.
Why isn't this quote working?
I've tried everything, but Istill felt off.
Then maybe today is yourinvitation to stop fixing and
start rebuilding, because youdon't need another tool, you
don't need more willpower, youdon't need to earn your worth.
(16:38):
You need truth, you needclarity, you need self-worth as
your starting point.
This journey isn't always easy.
There will be moments when itfeels simpler to stay on the
surface, to keep doing whatyou've always done, even if it's
not getting you where you wantto go.
There will be discomfort infacing the beliefs that have
been running beneath yourawareness.
There will be grief inrecognizing how long you've
(17:01):
abandoned parts of yourself.
But here's the deal.
This healing work is hard, butso is staying stuck in the cycle
that you are in now.
This isn't easy either.
It's exhausting, it's numbing,it's quietly heartbreaking and,
worst of all, it's not gettingyou any closer to the woman that
you long to be or the life thatyou dream of.
(17:23):
It's keeping you from it.
Every time you allow those oldbeliefs to speak louder than
your truth, you take one morestep away from the wholeness
that you crave.
So if you're going to be doinghard, why not choose the kind
that leads to peace and clarityand purpose?
Why not choose the kind thatsets you free?
(17:44):
I say all this not because I'mabove the pain, but because I
have lived in it.
I know what it's like to carryshame like a second skin, to
smile on the outside whilecrumbling and dying quietly
inside, and I know how heavy itis to feel like you've never
quite enough, no matter how muchyou give.
That season of my life nearlybroke me, and maybe you're
(18:06):
living in that season now.
If so, I want you to know.
This matters to me, not just asa mentor or a voice in your ear
, but as a woman who's walkedthrough the fire and refuses to
let other women stay stuck inthe smoke, Because I believe
deep in my bones that you werenever meant to live buried.
You were made for fullness, forfreedom, for joy.
(18:30):
And on the other side of all ofthat discomfort and grief is a
freedom that you've probablyglimpsed but never fully claimed
the freedom to be exactly whoyou are, without apology or
performance.
The freedom to build a lifethat feels like home rather than
constant striving.
The freedom to know, without adoubt, that you are enough, not
(18:51):
because a post-it note told youso, but because you have done
the sacred work to uncoverwhat's always been true you are
not broken.
You are buried, and it's timeto start digging yourself out.
Instead of picking a newaffirmation this week, pick a
new question.
Ask yourself what if nothing iswrong with me and everything is
(19:12):
just riding to be healed?
That's where we begin.
That's how we build your utmostlife from the inside out.
If you want a guided way toexplore what beliefs might be
keeping you stuck in surfacesolutions, download the free
your Utmost Life check-in.
It's not a motivationalworksheet, it's a mirror, and it
will gently walk you back tothe foundation that's been
(19:35):
missing all along your worth.
You don't need to try harder.
You need to come home to whoyou are, to the truth beneath
the noise, to the woman you werealways meant to be.
So until next time, you are notbroken.
You are buried, and it's timeto start digging yourself out
again.
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