Why Wanting More Doesn't Make You a Bad Mom (It Actually Makes You Better)

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Have you ever felt crushing guilt for wanting something beyond your role as wife and mom? In this transformative episode, Misty Celli shares her personal story of sitting outside a real estate office with a 15-year dream in her hands and the wave of shame that nearly stopped her from pursuing it.

If you've ever convinced yourself that wanting personal dreams somehow betrays your family, this episode will completely shift your perspective. Misty reveals why the belief that "wanting more means you're ungrateful" isn't just limiting you, it's actually robbing your family of the gift of your full potential.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

• Why wanting more is evidence of your design, not proof of ingratitude
• The hidden cost of suppressing your dreams (and what it teaches your children)
• How to shift from "either/or" thinking to "both/and" living
• The oxygen mask principle: why pursuing your dreams makes you a better wife and mother
• Practical steps to reclaim your "more" without guilt
• How to reframe desire as sacred rather than selfish
• The legacy you're building when you honor your full design

Quotes to Remember:

"Wanting more doesn't mean your family isn't enough. It means you're recognizing that God created you to be more than just a supporting character in everyone else's story."

"Your family doesn't need you to be smaller. They need you to be whole and alive."

"You cannot pour from an empty cup. Depleted women make depleted wives and mothers."

"The guilt you feel about wanting more isn't your intuition telling you you're wrong. That's programming telling you to stay small."

"Your desire for more isn't evidence that being a wife and mom isn't fulfilling. It's evidence that you were designed for expansion."

Action Steps:

1. Audit your postponed dreams—write down what you've been putting on hold
2. Schedule weekly "dream time" that's just for you (start with even 5 minutes)
3. Stop apologizing when you talk about your dreams
4. Reframe "wanting more" as "honoring my design"
5. Do ONE thing this week that honors your desire for more

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
I was sitting in my car outside the real estate
office on a Tuesday, staring atthe requirements for getting my
real estate license.
This was a dream that I hadcarried in my heart for over 15
years.
My hands were literally shakingas I read through the
coursework, not fromnervousness, but from this
electric feeling of, oh my gosh,I could finally do this.

(00:25):
And then, like a wave of coldwater, the guilt crashed over
me.
I was a woman who had carriedthis real estate dream through
pregnancies, through moves,through every season of
motherhood, always tellingmyself, someday, I had spent
years convincing myself thatbeing a wife and a mother should

(00:46):
be enough, that wanting anythingmore meant that I was
ungrateful, selfish, or somehowbroken.
I had trained myself to feelguilty every time that old dream
resurfaced, as if wanting tohelp families find their perfect
homes was somehow a betrayal ofmy own family.

(01:06):
So I was sitting there and I wastorn between the excitement of
finally pursuing this 15-yeardream and the crushing weight of
shame.
What kind of mother wants morethan the beautiful life that I
have?
What kind of wife isn'tsatisfied with the blessings of
her family?
I closed the browser, I drovehome, and I spent the next three

(01:27):
hours making an elaboratedinner, as if perfect meatloaf
would silence this voice in myheart that had been whispering
real estate for a decade and ahalf.
If you have ever felt guilty forwanting something beyond your
role as a wife and a mom, if youhave ever felt like having
personal dreams somehowdiminishes your love for your

(01:48):
family, you're not alone.
And what I'm about to share withyou with you will completely
change how you think aboutdesire fulfillment and what it
really means to love your familywell.
Because the belief that wantingmore means that you're
ungrateful for being a mom and awife isn't just limiting you.

(02:09):
It's actually robbing yourfamily of the gift of your full
potential.
And by the end of today'sepisode, I pray and hope that
you will understand that whywanting more doesn't make you a
bad mom and wife, it actuallymakes you a better one.
If you are tired of feeling likeyou don't know who you are
anymore, and when you look inthe mirror, you think, is this

(02:31):
all there is?
Welcome to your Most LifePodcast.
My name is Misty Celle, and Ihelp women step into their
highest potential and design alife that they were meant to
live, one that feels true, rich,and deeply satisfying.
And this podcast is going togive you the principles and
strategic tools to see true andlasting success in areas of
health, relationships,confidence, goals, all the way

(02:53):
to topics like growth, purpose,love, parenting, and more.
This is the place you start theprocess of becoming your utmost
self and living a life you loveby design, not default.
This is your Upmost LifePodcast.
Welcome.

Let me ask you (03:07):
when you think to yourself, if I want more, it
means being a wife and motherisn't fulfilling.
What you're really saying iscontentment equals settling,
that good wives and mothersshould find complete fulfillment
in serving others, that personaldreams and family love are

(03:27):
mutually exclusive.
So let me ask you somethingelse.
Would you tell your daughterthat once she becomes a wife and
a mother, she should never wantanything else for herself?
No.
Would you admire a mentor whosays, I found my purpose 20
years ago, so I stoppeddeveloping myself, stopped
learning new things, and decidedthat was enough forever?

(03:50):
No.
So why do you apply a differentstandard to yourself?
Why do you believe that wantinggrowth, challenge, and
fulfillment beyond your familyroles somehow makes you a
deficient wife and mother?
Here's what I know aboutfulfillment.
It's not a destination, it's adirection.

(04:11):
And wanting more isn't a signthat you're ungrateful for what
you have.
It's a sign that you are alive,growing, and designed for
expansion.
The desire for wanting moreisn't your enemy.
It's your compass pointing youtoward a full potential.
We have been told by culture,well-meaning people, and

(04:33):
sometimes even the church, thatif we're looking for more beyond
our roles as wives and mothers,it means that we're ungrateful,
unfulfilled, or that somehow ourfamily just isn't enough.
And I get why we believe this.
We have been raised in a culturethat says a woman's highest
calling is sacrifice, that ourworth is measured by how much we

(04:55):
give up for others.
So when we feel that stirringinside for something more, of
course that brings on guilt andself-doubt.
But here's what I want you toconsider.
Do you see athletes that stoptraining once they make the
Olympic team?
No.
Do you see artists quit creatingafter painting one beautiful

(05:18):
piece?
No.
Do you see entrepreneurs closeshop after their first dollar?
No.
So why do we believe that oncewe become these wives and these
mothers, that our growth, ourdreams, our expansion should
suddenly stop?
Why do we think that wanting todevelop the gifts that God gave
us somehow diminishes our lovefor our families?

(05:40):
Because here's the truth.
Where did this belief even comefrom?
Show me in scripture where itsays becoming a mother means
that you stop becoming who Godcreated you to be.
Show me where it says that yourgifts and callings expire once
you say, I do, or hold yourfirst baby.
You can't because it's notthere.

(06:01):
So what if I told you the exactopposite is true?
What if wanting more to grow, toexpand, and to use your gifts is
actually proof that you weredesigned for more than just
maintaining?
What if that yearning is yoursoul's way of telling you that

(06:24):
you are a masterpiece createdwith purpose far beyond serving
everyone else's dreams?
Let me ask you, do you want tokeep believing that wanting more
makes you a bad wife and mother,feeling guilty every time that
your heart stirs withpossibility?
Or are you ready to discoverthat wanting more might be the

(06:47):
secret to becoming the woman,the wife, and the mother that
you were truly created to be?
Here's what I discovered in myown story.
For years, I believed that if Iwas truly grateful for my
husband and my children, thatthat should be enough.
I told myself that wanting towrite, wanting to build

(07:07):
something, wanting to impactwomen beyond my own family, that
those desires meant I wasselfish, I was ungrateful, and I
was even a bad mom.
But you know what happened whenI kept pushing those desires
down?
I became resentful.
I became this hollow version ofmyself, just going through the

(07:28):
motions.
My husband got a wife who wasphysically present, but
emotionally checked out.
My children got a mom who wasdepleted, who snapped more
often, who couldn't model whatit looked like to live with
purpose and passion.
And here's the thing that brokemy heart.
My daughter was watching.
She was learning that being awoman meant shrinking, that

(07:51):
being a wife and a mother meantgiving up every dream that made
you alive.
Can you believe this?
I was teaching her to be smallin the name of being a good
woman.
But when I finally gave myselfpermission to pursue more, when
I started writing, building mybusiness, using the gifts that

(08:13):
God gave me, everything changed.
You, you will not believe that Ibecame a better wife because I
was fulfilled and energizedinstead of depleted and
resentful and becoming a bettermother because I was modeling
what it looked like to live withpurpose and passion.
My children started seeing thattheir dreams mattered, that

(08:35):
God-given gifts were meant to beused, not buried.
My husband got back the woman hefell in love with, the one who
was excited about life, whobrought energy and vision to our
family.

And here's the thing (08:48):
wanting more doesn't mean your family
isn't enough.
It means that you arerecognizing that God created you
to be more than just asupporting character in everyone
else's story.
So what does this actually looklike?
How do you pursue more in a waythat actually enhances your

(09:09):
roles as a wife and a motherinstead of competing with them?
Well, first, you need to shiftfrom either or thinking to both
and thinking.
It's not I can either be a goodmom or pursue my dreams.
It's I can be a good mother andpursue my dreams.
In fact, the and is what makesyou exceptional at both.

(09:32):
When you were living in yourpurpose, when you are using your
gifts, you are more energized,more joyful, more patient.
You're modeling for yourchildren what it looks like to
live as God created you to live.
Here's what I want you tounderstand.
You cannot pour from an emptycup.
We all know that.
When you're constantly givingand never receiving, when you're

(09:52):
constantly serving others'dreams and never nurturing your
own, you become depleted.
And depleted women make depletedwives and mothers.
And when you're filled up, whenyou're operating in your gifts
and your purpose, and whenyou're growing and expanding,
you overflow.
And your family gets theoverflow, not the dredge.

(10:12):
So let me ask, what legacy doyou want to leave for your
daughter?
Do you want them to learn thatbeing a good woman means
shrinking, that their giftsdon't matter as much as their
ability to serve others?
Or do you want them to see thatthey can be amazing, mom and
wife?
What about your son?
Do you want them to marry womenwho give up on their dreams?

(10:35):
Or do you want them to marrywomen who are alive with purpose
and passion?
When you are constantly givingwithout ever receiving,
constantly managing withoutcreating, constantly serving
without filling, you start todisappear.
And that is not what your familyneeds.
They don't need a mom who'salways available but never fully

(10:58):
alive.
They need a mom who's rooted,vibrant, and filled with
purpose.
So let's make this practical.
Here are some gentle, real-worldsteps that you can start to
reclaim that more.
Let's identify what's beenstirring inside of you.
What is that thing that's beentugging at your heart?

(11:18):
That idea that you keep brushingoff, that part of you that
whispers, maybe I was made formore than just this routine.
Don't label it selfish.
God doesn't plant purpose in usfor decoration.
That desire matters.
The second thing is start small.
You don't have to quit your job,leave your responsibilities, or

(11:41):
launch a business tomorrow.
Just begin.
Start with 15 minutes ofjournaling, a weekly class, a
walk where you listen tosomething that feeds your soul.
Progress isn't about massiveleaps, it's about consistent
steps in the right direction.
And third, reframe the guilt.

(12:02):
When the I am being selfishquestion shows up, lovingly
replace it with this.
How can I use what's in me toserve well, to honor God, to
bless others?
Your calling doesn't competewith your family.
It is complementary and evenenriches how you serve them.
The fourth thing is invite yourfamily into the vision.

(12:26):
Talk to your husband.
Share the desire stirring insideyou, not as a threat, but as an
act of trust.
Let your kids see that growthdoesn't make you less loving.
It makes you more alive.
But here's the legacy thatyou're building.
One where your children learnthat love doesn't mean erasure,
that purpose and family cancoexist, that women can give and

(12:50):
be whole.
Listen, here's what I need youto understand.
That desire for more isn'tevidence that you're ungrateful
or that your family isn'tenough.
It's evidence that you are amasterpiece created with
inherent worth and purpose thatextends beyond just maintaining

(13:11):
everyone else's life.
You were created to be more thanjust a supporting character in
everyone else's story.
You were created to be thearchitect of your own fulfilling
life and an amazing mom andwife.
These aren't competingidentities, they're
complementary ones.
The woman who is alive withpurpose and with passion, she

(13:35):
makes a better wife than thewoman who is depleted and
resentful.
The mother who models what itlooks like to live in gifts
makes a better mother than theone who teaches her children to
be small.
Your family doesn't need you tobe smaller.
They need you to be whole andalive.

(13:57):
So here is your next step.
Stop apologizing for wantingmore.
Start recognizing that thisdesire is part of how God
designed you.
You are not broken for wantingto grow and expand.
You are buried under the beliefthat being a good mom and a good
wife means being small.

(14:17):
I believe with all my heart thata woman who honors her desire
for more becomes a better wifeand a mother, not worse.
When you are growing and you arelearning and you're pursuing
things that light you up, youbring energy, excitement, and
inspiration to your family.
When you're stagnant andsuppressing your dreams, you
bring resentment, exhaustion,and emptiness.

(14:39):
Your family doesn't need you tosacrifice your potential on the
altar of their comfort.
They need you to model what itlooks like when someone honors
their full design.
They need to see what happenswhen a woman includes herself in
her own life.
when you pursue your more, you're not
taking anything away from yourfamily.

(15:01):
You're adding to it.
You are bringing a morefulfilled, energized, passionate
version of yourself to thetable.
You are showing your childrenwhat it looks like to honor
their design.
You're demonstrating to yourspouse what it means to continue
growing together.
The guilt that you feel aboutwanting more, that's not your

(15:22):
intuition telling you that youare wrong.
That's programming telling youto stay small.
But staying small doesn't serveanyone.
Not you, not your family, notthe world that needs what you
have to offer.
Your desire for more is sacred.
It's pointing you towards yourpurpose, your gifts, your

(15:44):
contribution.
And the world needs mothers whoare fully alive, fully
expressed, and fully committedto becoming who they were
created to be.
If you are ready to stop feelingguilty about wanting more and
start understanding that desireas your pathway to becoming a
better wife and a mother, here'sexactly what to do.

(16:05):
First, you need to recognize theguilt about more.
So you'll know if you're stuckin this pattern when you're
postponing your personal goalsbecause they felt selfish.
You feel guilty when you getexcited about opportunities that
aren't family related.
You haven't learned somethingnew for yourself in what, two,

(16:25):
10, 20 years?
You apologize when you talkabout your dreams as if having
them is wrong.
You say things like, I should besatisfied with this beautiful
life.
You've convinced yourself thatcontentment means never wanting
to grow or change.
Can you see yourself in any ofthese?
This isn't contentment.

(16:48):
This is suppression disguised asgratitude.
The second piece isunderstanding what holistic
integration actually looks like.
So what does that actually evenmean?
What it means is you do not haveto compartmentalize yourself.
You don't have to be a wife andmother in one box and an
individual woman in another.

(17:08):
You get to be a whole person whohappens to be a mom and a wife,
not a wife and a mom who used tobe a person.

Think about it this way (17:16):
when you board an airplane, they tell
you to put your oxygen mask onfirst.
Not because you don't love yourfamily, but because you can't
serve from emptiness.
Your dreams, your growth, yourmore, that's your oxygen tank.
And it keeps you alive.
It keeps you energized, and itkeeps you able to give from

(17:39):
abundance instead of depletion.
The third thing is startincluding your dreams in your
life design.
This isn't about overhaulingyour entire life overnight.
It's about stopping the falsechoice between family and
personal fulfillment.
So I want you to audit yourpostponed dreams.
I want you to write down whatyou've been putting on hold

(18:01):
until the kids are older or whenlife settles down or what you
have been waiting for for thelast five years.
I want you to schedule a dreamtime.
Block out time weekly forsomething that's just for you,
not family related, nothouse-related, not
service-related, something thatfeeds your individual soul.

(18:23):
And I understand time crunches.
I get it.
But need to start out, juststart out small.
Start out with five minutes.
Just take time for yourself.
Next, I want you to stopapologizing for your dreams.
Start practice talking aboutyour dreams without this
disclaimer like, it's probablysilly, but, or I should know

(18:47):
that I'm, I should be gratefulfor what I have.
However, you know, that fumblingthrough because you feel so
guilty for talking about thisdream, this goal, this desire
that you have.
I want you to include yourselfin future planning.
When you think about next year,five years from now, include
your personal goals, not justyour family milestones.

(19:10):
And reframe more as growth.
Instead of feeling guilty aboutwanting more, celebrate it as
evidence that you are designedfor expansion.
And last but not least, changeyour internal dialogue.
Instead of wanting more meansI'm ungrateful for my family,
try wanting more means I amhonoring my full design, which

(19:32):
makes me a better wife and abetter mother.
Instead of I should be satisfiedwith being a mom and a wife, try
something like being a mom and awife is part of who I am, not
the limit of who I am.
Instead of my dreams areselfish, try saying my dreams
are sacred, and pursuing themmodels growth for my families.

(19:57):
Recognizing that your desire formore isn't a character.
Flaw.
It's evidence of your design.
Understand that you are notbroken for wanting growth.
You are buried under the liethat good wives and mothers stop
evolving.
Reconstructing your beliefsabout what fulfillment looks
like, replacing the lie thatcontentment means settling with

(20:17):
truth, that fulfillment includescontinuous growth and expansion.
And then implementing dailysystems that honor both your
family responsibilities and yourpersonal growth.
Creating a life where wantingmore enhances your ability to
love and serve rather thancompeting with it.
Hear me when I say you aresimultaneously a wife, a mother,

(20:40):
and an individual woman withunique gifts and talents.
Your personal growth timeenhances your family time rather
than competing with it.
And pursuing your more energizesyou for your family roles rather
than depleting you.
Your personal purpose and familypurpose work together, not
against each other.

Here's the deal (21:00):
wanting more doesn't make you a bad mom or
wife.
It makes you a human being.
And human beings are designedfor growth, expansion, and
becoming more of who they werecreated to be.
The guilt that you are feelingabout your dreams, that's not
your conscience.
That's conditioning.
Conditioning that tells womenthat once they become a wife and

(21:21):
a mother, their individualgrowth should stop.
But that conditioning is wrong.
And it's robbing your family ofthe gift of your full potential.
At the beginning of thisepisode, we talked about my
dream, me sitting out inside ofthe real estate office and how
excited I was, but how thatcrushing guilt was suffocating

(21:42):
me.

But here's the thing (21:42):
I had pushed aside that dream for so
long.
And I gave every part of myselfto my family.
And what came from that was alife that felt unfulfilled.
It had resentment.
It had sadness.

(22:03):
And I was not living as thewoman that I desired to be.
And I certainly was not the momand the wife that I desired to
be, and I knew that I could be.
What I was doing wasn't working.
So I made a choice.
I got the real estate license.
And you know what came fromthat?
Excitement.
My family was excited to see mepursuing my dreams.

(22:27):
My family was excited because Iwas excited.
I was alive again.
And I was still giving myselfand making sure that the family
was great, that the food wasgreat, that the house was taken
care of.
I was doing all the things.
But instead of feelingresentment, instead of feeling
this depression, this sadness,this crushing weight of

(22:47):
something missing, I was alive.
And what I was showing them wasso much more valuable than just
giving all of myself to thepoint of exhaustion and
depletion and emptiness.
My daughter pursued her dreamsand she got two degrees.

(23:11):
And my son moved and pursued hispassion, and he is getting his
degree.
And my husband is growing in hiscareer, and I am growing, and
our relationships haveflourished.
They are so much more depth andfull of passion and love.

(23:36):
Your family doesn't need you tostay small to prove your love.
They need you to honor yourdesign so that you can model
what it looks like to livefully.
They need to see what happenswhen someone pursues their
purpose alongside their roles,not instead of them.
When you pursue your more,you're not taking anything away

(23:58):
from your family.
You're bringing more of yourselfto them, more energy, more
inspiration, more joy, morefulfillment, and that serves
everyone.
This week, I challenge you to doone thing that honors your
desire for more.
Maybe it's researching thatdream that you've been putting
on hold for five years.

(24:19):
Maybe it's signing up for thatclass that you've been too busy
to take.
Maybe it's simply writing downyour dreams without apologizing
for having them.
Stop treating your desires likethey're in competition with your
love of your family and starttreating them like they're part
of the gift that you bring toyour family.
Your desire for more isn'tevidence that being a wife and a

(24:43):
mom isn't fulfilling.
It's evidence that you weredesigned for expansion, growth,
and becoming all of who you werecreated to be.
And the world, including yourfamily, needs all of who you
are.
Remember, you don't need to burndown your life.
You need to include yourself init.
Your more isn't your enemy, it'syour compass.