[Bite of Balance] Reflect, realign and rediscover

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Have you ever felt like the person in the mirror wasn't quite the one you remembered? On this week's Bite of Balance, we tackle the unsettling yet universal phenomenon of identity loss. I, Teresa, get intensely personal about my own encounter with this beast, sharing the journey from a career-altering injury to the all-encompassing role of motherhood. Life's unexpected twists can sometimes strip us of our familiar selves, but together, we navigate the murky waters of redefining who we are when the ground beneath us shifts.
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Live group recommendation based on this episode:

30-day goals: make your dreams come true

Date: 3/21/24    Time: 10am EST

Description: Learn how to set 30-day goals that are structured and realistic as well as how to create action steps that will make your goals attainable. Become inspired to set goals and create meaningful change.

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Cabana content recommendations based on this episode:

• Conquering fear meditation
• Unlock your inner compass

This week’s source notes:

Symptoms of loss of identity

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/identity-crisis#outlook When loss of identity becomes an identity crisis.

https://www.betterup.com/blog/identity-crisis

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everyone?
This is Bite of Balance, yourweekly snack size therapy
session.
I'm your host, teresa, andtoday's Bite is all about loss
of identity, how it happens andhow we can deal with it and move
on to become exactly who we aremeant to be.
So if you missed that episode,be sure to check it out, but for
now it's just you and me, solet's freaking get into it.
Alright, before we jump intothis, let's take a moment to

(00:30):
ground ourselves.
When talking about a loss ofidentity, just know it isn't
picky.
It can strike at any age, anyperson, any gender.
It's that unnerving feelingthat creeps in when life takes a
sharp turn, leaving youquestioning the very essence of
who you are.
So buckle up, it's about to getreal.
I think everyone at some pointin their life, deals with having

(00:51):
to reinvent themselves becausethe version of themselves they
thought was forever no longer is.
I remember in my early tomid-20s I was working as a
cardiovascular specialist.
I was the breadwinner, I had atwo-year-old son, and life was
going exactly as I expected itto, until I got hurt at work,
which left me with acareer-ending injury.

(01:12):
The weight of losing that partof myself was so difficult.
That injury not only took myjob and passion for helping
people, but it also took away asport I have loved and
participated in my entire life,since I can remember the immense
sense of loss I felt wassomething I had never
experienced before.
It was like I didn't know who Iwas anymore or who I was now

(01:36):
supposed to become.
Identity loss looks differentfor everyone.
For me, it was my job in sport,but there is loss even in other
things, such as motherhood.
As a mom myself, I candefinitely speak to this.
I think people don't like totalk about losing yourself
during motherhood, because itgives motherhood a negative
connotation.
But let's be real, becausethat's what we do here.

(01:56):
You can love your kids andstill recognize that they are
all consuming.
I have two boys, but there wasa period of time where I
realized, wow, my entire worldrevolves around them and look,
that's natural.
But you also need to make sureyou save space for yourself,
even if it's just carving out 10to 15 minutes of your day for

(02:18):
you to do something that bringsyou peace and reminds you of who
you are.
Remember and I hate rememberingthis, but it's true your
children will eventually grow upand move out and you don't want
to be sitting there in thatmoment wondering who the hell
you are.
I think a key point here whenyou're talking about identity
and losing a piece of who youare is you need to actually

(02:40):
allow yourself to grieve thatloss when it happens.
At the time, I was in survivalmode.
I had just lost my career andmy income and my health all at
once.
I was in fix it mode.
What I should have done was letmyself sit with the feeling of
loss and accept it and then moveforward.
It's important to do that andrecognize that losing something

(03:02):
that makes up who you are ishard.
The only way you can moveforward and reinvent yourself is
if you allow yourself the spaceto grieve.
This is important because, moreoften than not, you will
experience loss of identity morethan once in your life and you
need to be prepared and learnhow to cope with that loss.
Once you allow yourself togrieve that loss, it's time to

(03:23):
start redefining your self-worthand your values.
Start thinking about whatdefines you at a value and
behavioral level, what thingsare important to you and I'm not
talking about the things like ahome or a car, but things such
as morals, things that you canuse to help define who you are
at your soul.
Find out who that person is sothat when you lose something,

(03:44):
like a job or a sport that youfelt defines you, you can go
back and realize that those arejust external things you love
and not actually who you are atyour core.
So, as always, we like to leaveyou with a little take home
tool or some homework, if youwill.
Actually, we're not going tocall it homework, let's call it
self-work, because it'simportant to invest in yourself.

(04:04):
So for your self-work, we leaveyou with a compass, not the one
you get lost in the wildernesswith, but a mental guide to
navigate life's storms, defineyour values, list the behaviors
and live them out loud.
When the waves of change hit,your compass will be your true
north.
Until next time I'm out.