May 20, 2024 • 33 mins
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Feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation? We've all been there, and in this episode, we're your travel buddies here to help you avoid the vacation hangover and actually relax and recharge when you are away. It's a roundtable of tales and tips as we share our collective wisdom on packing smart—not hard—handling the unforeseen with finesse, and striking that perfect balance between a well-planned itinerary and the joy of spontaneity. Join us as we navigate the waters of vacationing with family in tow and meeting expectations. Get ready to arm yourself with strategies to help you create a system that allows you to truly turn on vacation mode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome back to You're Always Fine a space to
show up for yourself and embracethe mess that lives underneath.
Because, let's be real, it'sexhausting always being fine.
So grab your headphones andallow yourself to listen, laugh
and even cry, because you arenot alone.
And we aren't always fine, andthat's okay.
And we aren't always fine, andthat's okay.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Have you ever come back from a week-long vacation
and said I need a vacation frommy vacation?
You spend weeks planning forthe trip, getting ready, making
sure everything at work and homeis taken care of, and if you
are lucky that stress stillallows you to look forward to
your trip, then it finallyarrives, only for it to fly by
in a blur of activities.
Next thing you know you're backfeeling more exhausted than
(00:53):
before you left.
Yep, we've all been there.
I call it the vacation hangover.
I'm your host, christine.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And I'm Teresa.
Today we're dishing out all ourtips, tricks and parent hacks
to head into summer and yournext trip with a vacation
mindset that works for youinstead of against you.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I am someone who has fallen victim to the vacation
hangover, and I'm not talkingabout the 20s.
I'm talking about, like the 30s, in which vacation quite
literally takes such a mentaltoll on me.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
I don't even know, because I don't even know if I
do it correctly.
I mean, for me you have thestress of planning for vacation
not only planning like thingsout, but planning the packing.
And you're not only packing foryourself, but you're packing
for your kids.
Some people pack for theirhusbands.
I don't pack for my husband.
I'm like you're, I'm, I'llhandle the kids.
(01:45):
I'm not going to let you handlethat, husbands.
I don't pack for my husband.
I'm like you're, I'm, I'llhandle the kids.
I'm not gonna let you handlethat.
I'll handle packing for thekids, but I'm gonna pack it for
you.
But you know you have that.
Then you have the.
You have getting there.
You have like food shopping,you have.
I'm getting stressed just eventalking and thinking about it
well, it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I've been seeing a lot of these reels and I relate
to them so much.
It's something to the effect of, like there's always a spouse
that spends all their time likeplanning and doing all the
things and the one that justlike shows up and is like giddy
about vacation.
I laugh every single timebecause that is like so the
situation over here, oh yeah, iseverything, I think, with
(02:25):
vacation.
I'm just coming off a 10-daytrip with my family and like
literally this is my first dayback and we're recording in our
pajamas.
I do believe that how Iapproached this vacation was
probably the pinnacle of myexecution and trying to make it
so that, like pre, during andpost-travel put me in the best
place to enjoy my time, to beable to unplug but also to get
(02:48):
back into like my daily flow androutines, like I.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I'm actually like extremely proud of the way I
finally, it only took like 1million drives, but yeah, I mean
it is true, like when you havelike things planned and set up,
it does make things go smoother.
And like, let's be real, youcan have things planned and
stuff like that, but there arethings that are going to go
wrong, you are going to forgetthings.
(03:12):
But if you at least have somekind of like outline, you're
going to already make thingssmoother.
And you know, I'm not talkingabout doing that like two days
before, I'm talking like doingit more a couple weeks before,
because then you can iron outall the wrinkles, you can try
and remember things that youforgot.
So I definitely agree.
(03:34):
I think like having a mindsetof like being prepared as best
you can like way ahead of timeis definitely beneficial.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I mean 100% about that as much as you can.
I think prepared andadaptability is like one of the
best things we can giveourselves.
But as it relates to likevacation right, this
pre-vacation stage in my opinion, really does set the tone,
because if you head intoanything frazzled, chaotic and
stressed like, you're literallyworking against a successful
outcome.
Like definitely, trust me folks, I've been at this for 37 years
(04:07):
.
Attempting that type of energyhas not worked.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It's, it's true and like like for me as a mom, I
know that one of the moststressful things for me is, you
know, kids they have a lot ofshit Like they just they have so
much shit that like at the endof the day, like if it was
something, like a lot of timesif you forget it you can get it
from the store.
But you don't want to have todo that.
But it's just like if I takeone, like if I'm like, okay, my
(04:37):
vacation's in a month, let metake these two days and just
think about one kid.
I've got two kids Let me justspend two days thinking about
that one kid, make a list ofeverything that that kid needs,
and then give myself a day incase I forgot anything and then
the next day spend a day or twothinking about the list for my
other child.
(04:57):
I just think that that's a wayof getting rid of some of the
barriers that can come with lateplanning planning, because
every little thing, like youmight forget something on a list
, that's really not that big ofa deal, but it's going to stress
you out because you forgot itand you have to go to the
drugstore and spend money on itat like whatever drugstore
you're going to that like markseverything up a million dollars
(05:18):
more because you're on vacation.
You're like in a vacation hotspot.
So like, oh, you want band-aids.
Pay $30 for a pack as opposedto like five.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I'm a list person.
I used to really be againstlike packing lists because
that's just like a waste of time.
But as I've gotten morecomfortable with my anxiety and
my OCD and making accommodationsfor myself that just make my
life easier in the long run,instead of letting everything
overwhelm in my brain, as soonas I book a trip, I create a
(05:49):
notion board for it.
I will say now I have mademyself a template.
So it's like rinse and repeat,keep track of all the things for
a trip.
It's like writing quick notes,creating lists of things that
need to be done before I go,things that I need to pack.
Like you said, that gradualramp up to the trip reduces
stress but it also helps me getexcited too.
(06:09):
We live in a very like instantgratification world.
There's so many studies abouthow prolonged gratification and
like the hype up alsocontributes to the overall
success or feeling fulfilledwith like a vacation Right, and
I don't know.
For me it is, yes, like theorganization part is like
helpful, but it's pre-tripstress like gone and it also has
(06:31):
been creating like a mentalspace for me to place some of
like the anxieties yeah, thatmakes sense.
Like the week of everythingflooding my brain between things
I want to get done packing,target runs, this or that.
It's kind of like housed inthis place and I know for me
that really works.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah.
So it's funny because Mike, myhusband, is a list person.
I'm very like, why do I have togive you a list?
This isn't for vacation, but ifI want things done around the
house in my mind, I'm like, well, you just see it, you do it.
(07:09):
If you see dishes in the sink,just do it.
But he's like, if you give me alist, it'll get done.
So, like I am more of like Ihave a list in my head but it
really doesn't work when itcomes to vacations and planning.
Like it would work if it wasjust for myself, right, but it
wouldn't work perfectly becauseI most likely would forget
something.
So I have had to like adjustthe way that I handle planning
for trips, because I would be sostressed, because I would do it
(07:29):
my old way, not have a list,and, like you said, like there
are certain things that you justcan't pack until the very end.
So I literally have a list forthat now, like last minute
things that like you're packingthe day of, and like I create a
list because it's so many likethings you wouldn't even think
of, like your toothbrush or yourcurling iron, your hair
(07:50):
straightener or like shampoo, orlike their kids, like favorite
toys or something.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
We were away with my niece and, I kid you not, we all
flew down, but my mom and daddrove down my sister's Acura and
it was filled to the brim.
She couldn't even pick us upfrom the airport because of all
this stuff, like the formulathat this you know like, and the
diapers, the wipes, the binkies, the, the chain, the, the, the.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
What the heck are those called the exorcist, or
things that you sit, you're like?
Depending on how old they are,the more stuff they have.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I never knew this was an actual thing until, like,
the first thing you said is likekids have so much stuff and I'm
just, oh my God, that makessense, so much freaking stuff.
This prep though, I will say so, the first time that I truly
executed this this was part oflike my bingo board and
resolutions was to startenjoying travel more, because
you know what travel usuallytakes out of me, and I really
(08:44):
stopped traveling because itends up just being such a
negative pre, during, end, post.
It's like what the heck am Idoing and spending the money for
?
So having things I need to getdone and including, like, my
physical space, like making surethat when I get back I'm not
walking into chaos.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh yeah, that's.
I'm like that.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
So like fridge clean, groceries for the next week,
like planned, like I didn't haveto think about the grocery list
when I got home, I just wentand I ordered on Instacart.
Great, it's like the littlethings that I can do to help
post vacation, christine,because it's already gonna be a
struggle.
I think we bring a lot of thatenergy to like our jobs and
those types of responsibilitiesbut we overlook the personal and
(09:26):
work things right.
Like you would never leave workwithout making sure someone
covered whatever you need to becovered or met that expectation.
But I feel like when it comesto personal, we kind of like
give ourselves a shaft.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yeah, well, it's even like, even for the kids with
like usually we go on vacationwhen it's the summer, so not
necessarily school, but likethey'll come back and they will,
without a doubt, have someshape or form of sports, like
depending on the time they'redoing something.
So like if I, ahead of time,look at their schedule for the
week coming home and be likeokay, like, and because they
(10:00):
play for multiple teams, so likeif I plan it ahead of time and
just even have their uniform foreven just like, let's say, we
come home on a Sunday, and likethey've got a game on Monday,
like if I have that already doneand their uniform for that team
and game laid out, like it'salready going to set me up, like
, oh, okay, like we're good,that one's done, let's go to the
(10:21):
next day.
Like I'm going to be so muchless stressed than if, like I
get home, have to put theuniforms out, like and I feel
like that's just like planningfor vacation, right, like you're
planning so that you don't haveadded unnecessary stress.
It's the same thing for whenyou come back.
Like I could see myself likenot planning and not figuring
out which game they had orwhatever, and then like putting
(10:41):
them in the wrong uniform orlike something like that.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Or like missing a game or something, or like
rushing because like or like.
If I had to say, I know youreally well, so I can also see
you rummaging through thelaundry trying to find the
goddamn like sock that Juniorhas to wear 100%.
He's freaking out and then,therefore, like you're getting
anxious about it because, like,who wants to be that mom?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I know, I know.
So it's true Like, and then ifthat's how you're coming back
from vacation, like you don'teven feel like you took one.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
A hundred percent.
And I will say, like, while thepre and the post are difficult
for me, I find that I strugglethe most with transitioning to
vacation mode.
Like I find that I struggle tolike leave work behind.
I berate myself, it's likeeverything didn't get done the
(11:29):
way I wanted it to get done,which is why I think this
vacation again when I say it wasa success, it was a success.
I started implementing thesethings, but it didn't feel as
successful as this one, becauseI berated myself about not
getting my like every singlething I wanted to get done.
You know, we all know, I'm aperfectionist, which is I'm
working on it.
But I tend to then like when Ibraid myself and like I'm, I'm
(11:54):
stressed or whatever I then justtry to like for I call it like
forcing vacation mode, where Ilike try too hard to like go all
in and make it worth the stressor make it worth um, yeah, yeah
, yeah like you know, almostlike I don't have FOMO, but I'm
trying to create this onvacation like I'm gonna regret
it kind of thing, even thoughlike in my head I'm like
(12:25):
definitely not.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I don know.
It's like this vicious cycleI've created.
It's not living up to what youhad it in your mind to be.
And like I have just learned,now that I'm a parent and we
take family vacations, like Ihave just learned, like I can't
have expectations because withchildren comes so many, just
like ebbs and flows, like it'sjust not going to go exactly
(12:48):
according to plan.
It just will not.
So if that is my expectation,I'm going to be so much less
stressed out when it doesn'tflow the way that I expected it
to.
And that is why I am alwaysadvocating for like two week
vacations, because I feel likeit takes like, when you like
pick up your entire family andplant it somewhere else, it
takes at least like a solidthree or four days to like
(13:12):
reacclimate, and then you getlike two days and then you're
leaving.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
No, it is so true for me there's just like so many
feelings that come with it RightAgain with those expectations.
I think social media plays arole in this Right Like.
And also, everyone wants to becultured and traveled, and this
and that feeling guilty orfeeling not present with who I'm
there with because I'm tryingto close up something, or when
I'm relaxing, feeling like I'mwasting my vacation away, it's
(13:38):
like a lot of pressure to put onsomething that's supposed to be
relaxing, recharging and likeenjoyable.
That's exhausting Definitely.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
And it's hard too, because everyone has.
Like Mike and I, when we gotmarried, we had to like, kind of
like not adjust, but like getused to the way the other person
vacations.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Oh great point.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah, like not everyone vacations the same.
Facts, facts on facts.
Yeah.
So like I, a vacation for mewould be literally to sit on the
beach from like 630 in themorning till seven o'clock at
night and I could just sit thereand like exist there, obviously
with like food and like a beeror something.
But like that could be arelaxing vacation for me.
(14:23):
Like that is not a relaxingvacation for Mike.
He gets totally stir crazy.
He like needs to be doingsomething.
So that was a big adjustmentbecause I was like I would get
annoyed with him because I'mlike what's your problem?
Because then he knew I like tosit on the beach, so he would
like like accommodate me, butthen be annoyed because he's not
having the type of vacationthat he wants to have.
(14:45):
So we kind of like have gottento a point where, like on travel
days, we'll like more low-keydays and there'll be a day that
like like, for example, when weum like arrive, usually the
check-in times, places are likelater in the afternoon anyway,
so the entire day is like kindof wasted by the time you check
in.
So that's the day that we'regonna like food shop because
(15:08):
it's like I don't want to foodshop because it's like I don't
want to food shop on like a fullday.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I would say on your TT beach time.
I know, trust me.
Yeah, public serviceannouncement Do not call TT when
she's on the beach for anybusiness matters.
She quite literally will go foryour jugular from experience.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
So like.
So, on travel days, we try anddo all the like annoying stuff
that vacation brings, becausethere is annoying things Food
shopping is annoying, Going tothe store or just little errands
you might have to do in orderto be able to relax.
So we'll handle that on traveldays and then we'll have days
(15:48):
where we relax or whatever.
But then we will throw inactivities like that will work
for the family too.
Like we have to find somethingthat like works well for the
majority of people so thateveryone enjoys it the best they
can.
Like I, we're not really intocramming activities.
Like we want to do like one ortwo things, but we're not the
type of people that are like oh,we didn't get to do this, so
(16:10):
like we didn't, you know,utilize our vacation the best of
our ability.
So like I think we have a goodbalance of like having some days
that are more like low key andthen other days where we're like
okay, we're going up, we'regoing to go here, we're going to
go there.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I love that point so much about cramming activities
because I know for myself Ithink really up until this year
when I was like I want to try totravel again, but do it a
different way.
I was very much in the mindsetof like, if you're not doing all
the things, and I don't mind,you know what all the things are
, because like what, like whatmy favorite vacation is, I can't
(16:47):
really give you an answer.
Most of the time it's aboutlike again the experience who
I'm with, but like I don't have.
Like you love the beach.
Who I'm with, but like I don'thave.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Like you love the beach.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I love the lake, but I live at the lake, you know.
So it's like, yeah, um, so, ontop of like not, it's having
this thing mindset in which Ineed to do all of said things in
order to vacation Right, Idon't even know what those are.
It completely like ignores theidea of vacation being relaxing,
enjoyable and like givingmyself permission to recharge
(17:18):
and not jam pack every singleday, doing, I will say, like two
trips of 2024 I've had so far.
I have like, not put so muchpressure on activities and I've
just done, done like if I wantedto take a nap during the day,
like I allowed that, like youknow, like I yeah, I made sure
that I just did everything Icould to enjoy every moment at
(17:43):
what of it was and I, like I'vesaid I've really had this the
first vacation I've ever comeback like truly feeling
recharged.
It also could have been thefact that the fireball was not
going down very good thisvacation, but here we are.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's really, I think that's
huge.
I think it's good to alsorecognize your limits on
vacation because even though youmight not be working, like,
there is stress that comes withthe vacation.
So, just like you would managestress at work or whatever
whatever that is, whether it'staking a nap or whether it's
reading a book, like you do needto allow yourself that time of
(18:15):
vacation so that you can get themost out of the vacation you're
taking.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Absolutely, especially these days.
Everything's so dang expensive,right.
But one last thing abouttransitions, and I don't.
I see a lot of people doingthis in the beginning and I want
to just say I think that it isa hack or a tip or whatever we
want to call it but giveyourself the day buffer when you
get home.
Yes, I did that with this tripwhere it's like we, we flew home
(18:44):
Saturday and we had all ofSunday and I get it the day
before.
It's like, oh my God, I'm sostressed, blah, blah, blah.
But the reality of it is isyou're never going to be more
excited than that moment You'reabout to go.
You'll be able to like find theenergy after work as opposed to
when you get back.
Going right back into the grindis so hard, but also like
(19:04):
nothing worse than looking atyour suitcase for a week and a
half knowing you have to unpack.
That I know everyone doesn'thave like that time.
Whatever have you.
But you know, when planningyour trips, see what you can do
to give that yourself, that thatday buffer, and if you only do,
one.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
My advice is, for sure, doing it when you return.
You'll need it, I agree.
I agree Cause it lets yousettle in and like readjust I
don't know.
It lets you settle in andadjust and it lets you like put
your life back together and likehave yourself, be ready to,
like jump back into your life.
Like I know for me, I'm notsomeone that's going to feel
settled if I can't unpack mysuitcase and can't put my things
(19:42):
away and can't get my car backto where it needs to be in order
to transport my kids from gameto game.
Like I would need a day inorder to unpack our car, since
we drive for our vacations mostof the time and the wash the
wash that you have on vacation,or like any of that stuff like I
would need a day to get thatall situated in order for me to
be like okay, like I am restedand I'm going to start my week
(20:05):
off back in the real world andit's not going to suck nearly as
bad as it would if I justjumped right back in and had my
regular work stuff to do, plusthe leftover vacation stuff I
need to situate.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, I mean I think again.
So we've got the pre figuredout, we've got our post plan and
here we are.
It's time for the good stuffhere we are.
Let's get into the tips formaking the most of your actual
vacation time stuff.
Let's get into the tips formaking the most of your actual
vacation time.
I think, titi, you made areally good point about that
(20:40):
ramp up time.
So how do you make the most outof when you're there, so that
it's intentional, you're present, but also, like you said in the
beginning, flexible, becauseSHIT is going to happen?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah, yeah, for real.
I mean you have to indulge alittle bit.
Obviously, that's whatvacation's for, and it's also
nice to have some things plannedout.
But plan things out that arerealistic for your situation.
Like I'm not going to plan outsome like elaborate when I've
got two kids, like that are nineand six.
Like I'm not going to plan outsome elaborate thing that, like
(21:08):
it's not going to work for theirages.
You know what I mean.
Like you're going to want topick something that you can do,
that that works for yoursituation, and you're also going
to want to pick something that,if things have to change like,
let's say, you pick an activityand then it rains that day like
have a, have a backup activity.
Like you never know what theweather's going to be.
Like you know, so you want to,you want to plan so that you
(21:29):
don't have to worry.
Like the worst is when you'reon vacation and you're like have
everything planned for sunnydays and then it rains, and then
you're in an area that you'renot necessarily familiar with,
unless it's somewhere you go allthe time.
But like then you're scrambling, like, oh, what should we do
for the weather, and then you'llprobably wind up getting stuck
inside and then you'll probablywind up just wasting that day.
So if you plan ahead of time,like have an A option for good
(21:55):
weather, a B option for badweather, I think it just makes
things a little bit easier.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
When we're talking about expectations.
I think part of not crammingthese activities allows the
flexibility to be like okay, wedidn't have anything planned for
Wednesday, we're going to swapTuesday's activity for Wednesday
because Tuesday was a rain outand we couldn't do the activity.
It allows like flexibility andthen, I think, therefore makes
you feel more content at the end.
It's setting up again forsuccess, with all the variables
(22:22):
you can control.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, and I feel like too, like when you have I don't
know like for me it is veryeasy, since all of my work is on
my phone, it's very easy for meto fall into just being like
checking my phone or answeringemails or, you know, doing
whatever I need to do, socialmedia wise, like.
So it is hard and it'sdifficult, and I think that's
(22:46):
something that a lot of peoplestruggle with is unplugging on
their vacation and how to bepresent, like and balance that,
because a lot of people's worknow is on their phones, like
whether we want to take it withus or not, we do so, and I know
you experienced that.
You're someone that works fromhome.
You have your laptop and yourphone, so how do you manage to
(23:10):
unplug Like you were with yourfamily?
Did you unplug when you werewith them?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I think this was again something I really really
had to work at, and it just sohappens to be our takeaway tool
for today.
And it's all about unplugging,because I think that's a huge
part of the whole picture aswell is that presence.
So when you get back, it's notlike, oh, what did I even do on
vacation?
I wasn't even there because Iwas so worried about everything,
(23:39):
or work, or whatever it'scalled.
Can I really unplug?
And it's a set of questionsthat help you prioritize, decide
, set expectations around yourdevices and technology on
vacation.
I know it sounds a little crazy, but we live in a world where
everyone has so much access toyou that, if you don't plan for
it, your peace and your precioustime with your family will be
intruded on just because of thefact that they can send an email
(24:03):
.
Even if you have an awaymessage, you're getting that in
your email box.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Right and it's like, do I look?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
at it I know it's there.
I know it's there.
I know it's there, so I lovethis tool because it allows you
to hold yourself accountable,maintain boundaries while also
setting realistic expectationsinternally, but also for your
family or friends or whoeveryou're traveling with.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, and that's that's a good point, because,
like, if I'm just traveling withjust my kids and my husband,
like it's a little bit easier,like to get away with and not
that I want to get away with it,but it's a little like he
understands what I do for workright, like he understands that
like all the time my work is inmy hand, like he he gets that.
(24:43):
But when you're traveling withother people that haven't seen
you in a long time and this isthe time that they get with you
they're not going to be asunderstanding you know,
especially if they don't seewhat I do every day and don't
understand, like, how much of mytime it takes.
So I think that's that's a goodthing to have with the tool,
because the expectations can'tjust be for yourself, it has to
(25:05):
be for also the people thatyou're traveling with.
So give me the tool.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
All right.
So you're going to want toanswer these questions.
The first question you want toanswer is what is the least
amount of connectivity I can getaway with?
What I'm talking about here isreviewing your work culture,
separating your anxieties fromyour employer's expectations.
What is the expectation whileyou're away and what's the least
(25:32):
amount that you can in terms ofwork?
Like, do you have to checkevery three days?
How does your PTO work?
Are you working remotely?
And therefore you're working?
You know, like, what are thebounds of your responsibilities.
And then this is the one that Ithink people miss in terms of
connectivity.
Consider the relationshipsoutside of the people you're
(25:53):
traveling with.
Who needs my attention,non-negotiably when I say this,
I mean checking in with someonewho is watching your children or
your dog would be a connectionthat you would want to maintain
consistently throughout yourtrip, whereas like catching up
with an old friend becauseyou're finally just not working,
(26:13):
can be done when you returnright.
It's not something that you likehave to prioritize while you're
away just because you know youhave time.
So what's the least amount ofconnection you can have?
So the next thing after thatyou want to consider is what do
you want to use your devices forwhile you're away?
I know it sounds so juvenile,but we have a lot of these
(26:37):
things on autopilot, like yousaid.
So if you are bringing yourlaptop, your tablet, your nook,
your phone, your work phone,your smartwatch, your Alexa,
your projector, your digitalcamera and phone, your work
phone, your smartwatch, yourAlexa, your projector, your
digital camera and who knowswhat else, be intentional about
how you want to use the deviceand limit yourself to only using
them in that specific way.
(26:57):
This will help you ensure youdon't do unnecessary work while
you're away, or you don't getlost scrolling, or you don't get
lost scrolling, or you don'tend up binge watching something
on Netflix.
It's an intentionality, andbringing that to your conscious
sets a different type ofinternal expectation for
yourself.
And then the last thing I willsay is what platforms do I want
(27:24):
to disconnect from while I'maway?
And this is a big one and a hardone, because we all use a
variety of platforms daily toconnect, plan, organize,
entertain, create all the things.
So think about the apps you useand which ones could you use a
mental break from After you havedecided.
The big part about this one isset yourself up for success by
(27:47):
blocking the temptation.
So build a little friction.
Making the platform lessaccessible in the moment will
allow you to really unplug, youknow, and when I say that that's
like offloading the app, takingyour work email off your phone
for the week, stoppingnotifications, putting focus
signs on it may seem likedaunting or silly or like, oh, I
(28:10):
don't have to go through thoselengths, but the reality of it
is is by the time you realizethat you're in the thing that
you said you needed a break from.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, you're already done, you're already done.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
You're ready.
You've already scrolled for toolong, you know.
And so, um, as hard as it is,you know cause?
You know we both shoot a lot ofcontent for our platforms, et
cetera.
I did not go on TikTok theentire.
Wow, that's a biggie.
Yeah, Like I did, and Ihonestly like TikTok.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I think I went on Facebook the most because it's
the one that like bores me, likeI didn't have to really worry
about that one.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, yeah, tiktok sucks you in, man, you get lost
on there for hours and you knowI just set up a focus and I just
decided that.
You know it's not something Iwanted to get, like you know,
sucked into, even if it wasbecause I have a tendency of
getting sucked into by filmingthings that I'll edit later or
whatever.
You know creating that contentand you really do miss so much
(29:06):
when you're, when you're behind,you know the camera.
So, while it may feel silly,you want to ensure that you
create a system that's workingfor you and not against you.
All right, titi, any questions?
Anything so far?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
No, I mean, I definitely I've got a couple
vacations coming up, so I'mgoing to need to take some of
these, especially the socialmedia ones, because it's hard,
man.
I mean, especially when youmake money on social media, it's
very difficult because it'slike you never know.
Like well, if I just answerthis one comment, like maybe
that will help me make a sale,or you know what I mean, it's
very difficult to to do.
(29:42):
So I'm going this is going tobe a tough one for me.
I'm going to have to use thistake-home tool for sure.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Okay, well, but hear me out on this one, right?
So the last thing you have todo, based on those questions,
you want to come up with yourtech game plan and you need to
communicate that clearly withanyone who will be affected by
this game plan while you're away, and this is so important
because it allows everyone tounderstand and respect the time
(30:07):
you will be spending on yourdevices, on your phone, working
whatever have you.
For example, I just got backfrom family vacation and I think
this has, like really helped mymarriage and my time with my
family because, like you said,everyone wants that time and
people feel like, if you're onyour phone or you're on your
device, you know that's notgiving them that presence.
(30:32):
So, going in, I like madeeveryone aware that I had two
non-negotiable meetings that Ihad to do and that I had to
probably put in about two hoursworth of async work, and so that
was something that Icommunicated to Carrie.
Vice versa, carrie was like Ineed to skim my emails each
night to make sure there's nocrisis.
We both kind of communicatedthose expectations and that
really helped us feel engaged,connected, on the same page.
We didn't also like nag eachother when we were on the phone.
(30:54):
Titi, you might have to sayevery night, before you know, we
have our drink together.
I need to do two hours, or Ineed an hour on the beach just
to myself to be in my phone todo all my comments.
Right, the key there is holdingyourself accountable to that,
whatever time blocks you haveappropriately estimated for your
minimum bar of connecting andengaging, and then again
(31:19):
planning out a good prep planfor to minimize anything you
have to do on social media likescheduling posts and all that
good stuff.
That would be, I think, mylittle tip.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I definitely think that's a good one, especially
just saying like out from thegate, like hey, this is what I
need, this is when we can expectit to happen.
I, I like that.
I think it'll be well received,as opposed to if I'm just like
every so often, just likescrolling through my phone or
going through things.
So I'm going to take that, I'mgoing to take that little tool
(31:49):
and I like the communicationpiece of that, so you can find
this activity in our show notesalong with our episode resources
.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
And there you have it , folks, our triple threat for
the best vacation ever.
Prepare transition and thenfully embrace vacation mode.
Use the framework to create asystem that works for you and
your needs and watch.
You'll come back feeling morerefreshed and recharged instead
of needing a break from yourbreak.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Exactly, and we want to hear all about your future
amazing vacation, so be sure totake advantage of our new Text
Us feature.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
That's right.
You can actually text the showto share any feedback,
suggestions, future episodetopics you'd like to hear, or
even sign up for our email list.
Click on the link at the top ofour show notes and get texting.
We'd love to know if thisframework worked for you and
where you are heading next.
Until next time you're alwaysfine.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Seriously, you're fine.
You're fine because you havethe power to access your place
of peace anytime you need it.
However, if you get stuck,we're right at the palm of your
hand to help.
Check out our show notes forthis week's source list,
recommended content and Cabanalive group schedule.
We'll catch you next week for abrand new episode of You're
(33:02):
Always Fine.
Welcome back to You're Always Fine a space to
show up for yourself and embracethe mess that lives underneath.
Because, let's be real, it'sexhausting always being fine.
So grab your headphones andallow yourself to listen, laugh
and even cry, because you arenot alone.
And we aren't always fine, andthat's okay.
And we aren't always fine, andthat's okay.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Have you ever come back from a week-long vacation
and said I need a vacation frommy vacation?
You spend weeks planning forthe trip, getting ready, making
sure everything at work and homeis taken care of, and if you
are lucky that stress stillallows you to look forward to
your trip, then it finallyarrives, only for it to fly by
in a blur of activities.
Next thing you know you're backfeeling more exhausted than
(00:53):
before you left.
Yep, we've all been there.
I call it the vacation hangover.
I'm your host, christine.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And I'm Teresa.
Today we're dishing out all ourtips, tricks and parent hacks
to head into summer and yournext trip with a vacation
mindset that works for youinstead of against you.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I am someone who has fallen victim to the vacation
hangover, and I'm not talkingabout the 20s.
I'm talking about, like the 30s, in which vacation quite
literally takes such a mentaltoll on me.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
I don't even know, because I don't even know if I
do it correctly.
I mean, for me you have thestress of planning for vacation
not only planning like thingsout, but planning the packing.
And you're not only packing foryourself, but you're packing
for your kids.
Some people pack for theirhusbands.
I don't pack for my husband.
I'm like you're, I'm, I'llhandle the kids.
(01:45):
I'm not going to let you handlethat, husbands.
I don't pack for my husband.
I'm like you're, I'm, I'llhandle the kids.
I'm not gonna let you handlethat.
I'll handle packing for thekids, but I'm gonna pack it for
you.
But you know you have that.
Then you have the.
You have getting there.
You have like food shopping,you have.
I'm getting stressed just eventalking and thinking about it
well, it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I've been seeing a lot of these reels and I relate
to them so much.
It's something to the effect of, like there's always a spouse
that spends all their time likeplanning and doing all the
things and the one that justlike shows up and is like giddy
about vacation.
I laugh every single timebecause that is like so the
situation over here, oh yeah, iseverything, I think, with
(02:25):
vacation.
I'm just coming off a 10-daytrip with my family and like
literally this is my first dayback and we're recording in our
pajamas.
I do believe that how Iapproached this vacation was
probably the pinnacle of myexecution and trying to make it
so that, like pre, during andpost-travel put me in the best
place to enjoy my time, to beable to unplug but also to get
(02:48):
back into like my daily flow androutines, like I.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I'm actually like extremely proud of the way I
finally, it only took like 1million drives, but yeah, I mean
it is true, like when you havelike things planned and set up,
it does make things go smoother.
And like, let's be real, youcan have things planned and
stuff like that, but there arethings that are going to go
wrong, you are going to forgetthings.
(03:12):
But if you at least have somekind of like outline, you're
going to already make thingssmoother.
And you know, I'm not talkingabout doing that like two days
before, I'm talking like doingit more a couple weeks before,
because then you can iron outall the wrinkles, you can try
and remember things that youforgot.
So I definitely agree.
(03:34):
I think like having a mindsetof like being prepared as best
you can like way ahead of timeis definitely beneficial.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I mean 100% about that as much as you can.
I think prepared andadaptability is like one of the
best things we can giveourselves.
But as it relates to likevacation right, this
pre-vacation stage in my opinion, really does set the tone,
because if you head intoanything frazzled, chaotic and
stressed like, you're literallyworking against a successful
outcome.
Like definitely, trust me folks, I've been at this for 37 years
(04:07):
.
Attempting that type of energyhas not worked.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
It's, it's true and like like for me as a mom, I
know that one of the moststressful things for me is, you
know, kids they have a lot ofshit Like they just they have so
much shit that like at the endof the day, like if it was
something, like a lot of timesif you forget it you can get it
from the store.
But you don't want to have todo that.
But it's just like if I takeone, like if I'm like, okay, my
(04:37):
vacation's in a month, let metake these two days and just
think about one kid.
I've got two kids Let me justspend two days thinking about
that one kid, make a list ofeverything that that kid needs,
and then give myself a day incase I forgot anything and then
the next day spend a day or twothinking about the list for my
other child.
(04:57):
I just think that that's a wayof getting rid of some of the
barriers that can come with lateplanning planning, because
every little thing, like youmight forget something on a list
, that's really not that big ofa deal, but it's going to stress
you out because you forgot itand you have to go to the
drugstore and spend money on itat like whatever drugstore
you're going to that like markseverything up a million dollars
(05:18):
more because you're on vacation.
You're like in a vacation hotspot.
So like, oh, you want band-aids.
Pay $30 for a pack as opposedto like five.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I'm a list person.
I used to really be againstlike packing lists because
that's just like a waste of time.
But as I've gotten morecomfortable with my anxiety and
my OCD and making accommodationsfor myself that just make my
life easier in the long run,instead of letting everything
overwhelm in my brain, as soonas I book a trip, I create a
(05:49):
notion board for it.
I will say now I have mademyself a template.
So it's like rinse and repeat,keep track of all the things for
a trip.
It's like writing quick notes,creating lists of things that
need to be done before I go,things that I need to pack.
Like you said, that gradualramp up to the trip reduces
stress but it also helps me getexcited too.
(06:09):
We live in a very like instantgratification world.
There's so many studies abouthow prolonged gratification and
like the hype up alsocontributes to the overall
success or feeling fulfilledwith like a vacation Right, and
I don't know.
For me it is, yes, like theorganization part is like
helpful, but it's pre-tripstress like gone and it also has
(06:31):
been creating like a mentalspace for me to place some of
like the anxieties yeah, thatmakes sense.
Like the week of everythingflooding my brain between things
I want to get done packing,target runs, this or that.
It's kind of like housed inthis place and I know for me
that really works.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah.
So it's funny because Mike, myhusband, is a list person.
I'm very like, why do I have togive you a list?
This isn't for vacation, but ifI want things done around the
house in my mind, I'm like, well, you just see it, you do it.
(07:09):
If you see dishes in the sink,just do it.
But he's like, if you give me alist, it'll get done.
So, like I am more of like Ihave a list in my head but it
really doesn't work when itcomes to vacations and planning.
Like it would work if it wasjust for myself, right, but it
wouldn't work perfectly becauseI most likely would forget
something.
So I have had to like adjustthe way that I handle planning
for trips, because I would be sostressed, because I would do it
(07:29):
my old way, not have a list,and, like you said, like there
are certain things that you justcan't pack until the very end.
So I literally have a list forthat now, like last minute
things that like you're packingthe day of, and like I create a
list because it's so many likethings you wouldn't even think
of, like your toothbrush or yourcurling iron, your hair
(07:50):
straightener or like shampoo, orlike their kids, like favorite
toys or something.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
We were away with my niece and, I kid you not, we all
flew down, but my mom and daddrove down my sister's Acura and
it was filled to the brim.
She couldn't even pick us upfrom the airport because of all
this stuff, like the formulathat this you know like, and the
diapers, the wipes, the binkies, the, the chain, the, the, the.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
What the heck are those called the exorcist, or
things that you sit, you're like?
Depending on how old they are,the more stuff they have.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I never knew this was an actual thing until, like,
the first thing you said is likekids have so much stuff and I'm
just, oh my God, that makessense, so much freaking stuff.
This prep though, I will say so, the first time that I truly
executed this this was part oflike my bingo board and
resolutions was to startenjoying travel more, because
you know what travel usuallytakes out of me, and I really
(08:44):
stopped traveling because itends up just being such a
negative pre, during, end, post.
It's like what the heck am Idoing and spending the money for
?
So having things I need to getdone and including, like, my
physical space, like making surethat when I get back I'm not
walking into chaos.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh yeah, that's.
I'm like that.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
So like fridge clean, groceries for the next week,
like planned, like I didn't haveto think about the grocery list
when I got home, I just wentand I ordered on Instacart.
Great, it's like the littlethings that I can do to help
post vacation, christine,because it's already gonna be a
struggle.
I think we bring a lot of thatenergy to like our jobs and
those types of responsibilitiesbut we overlook the personal and
(09:26):
work things right.
Like you would never leave workwithout making sure someone
covered whatever you need to becovered or met that expectation.
But I feel like when it comesto personal, we kind of like
give ourselves a shaft.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yeah, well, it's even like, even for the kids with
like usually we go on vacationwhen it's the summer, so not
necessarily school, but likethey'll come back and they will,
without a doubt, have someshape or form of sports, like
depending on the time they'redoing something.
So like if I, ahead of time,look at their schedule for the
week coming home and be likeokay, like, and because they
(10:00):
play for multiple teams, so likeif I plan it ahead of time and
just even have their uniform foreven just like, let's say, we
come home on a Sunday, and likethey've got a game on Monday,
like if I have that already doneand their uniform for that team
and game laid out, like it'salready going to set me up, like
, oh, okay, like we're good,that one's done, let's go to the
(10:21):
next day.
Like I'm going to be so muchless stressed than if, like I
get home, have to put theuniforms out, like and I feel
like that's just like planningfor vacation, right, like you're
planning so that you don't haveadded unnecessary stress.
It's the same thing for whenyou come back.
Like I could see myself likenot planning and not figuring
out which game they had orwhatever, and then like putting
(10:41):
them in the wrong uniform orlike something like that.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Or like missing a game or something, or like
rushing because like or like.
If I had to say, I know youreally well, so I can also see
you rummaging through thelaundry trying to find the
goddamn like sock that Juniorhas to wear 100%.
He's freaking out and then,therefore, like you're getting
anxious about it because, like,who wants to be that mom?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I know, I know.
So it's true Like, and then ifthat's how you're coming back
from vacation, like you don'teven feel like you took one.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
A hundred percent.
And I will say, like, while thepre and the post are difficult
for me, I find that I strugglethe most with transitioning to
vacation mode.
Like I find that I struggle tolike leave work behind.
I berate myself, it's likeeverything didn't get done the
(11:29):
way I wanted it to get done,which is why I think this
vacation again when I say it wasa success, it was a success.
I started implementing thesethings, but it didn't feel as
successful as this one, becauseI berated myself about not
getting my like every singlething I wanted to get done.
You know, we all know, I'm aperfectionist, which is I'm
working on it.
But I tend to then like when Ibraid myself and like I'm, I'm
(11:54):
stressed or whatever I then justtry to like for I call it like
forcing vacation mode, where Ilike try too hard to like go all
in and make it worth the stressor make it worth um, yeah, yeah
, yeah like you know, almostlike I don't have FOMO, but I'm
trying to create this onvacation like I'm gonna regret
it kind of thing, even thoughlike in my head I'm like
(12:25):
definitely not.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I don know.
It's like this vicious cycleI've created.
It's not living up to what youhad it in your mind to be.
And like I have just learned,now that I'm a parent and we
take family vacations, like Ihave just learned, like I can't
have expectations because withchildren comes so many, just
like ebbs and flows, like it'sjust not going to go exactly
(12:48):
according to plan.
It just will not.
So if that is my expectation,I'm going to be so much less
stressed out when it doesn'tflow the way that I expected it
to.
And that is why I am alwaysadvocating for like two week
vacations, because I feel likeit takes like, when you like
pick up your entire family andplant it somewhere else, it
takes at least like a solidthree or four days to like
(13:12):
reacclimate, and then you getlike two days and then you're
leaving.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
No, it is so true for me there's just like so many
feelings that come with it RightAgain with those expectations.
I think social media plays arole in this Right Like.
And also, everyone wants to becultured and traveled, and this
and that feeling guilty orfeeling not present with who I'm
there with because I'm tryingto close up something, or when
I'm relaxing, feeling like I'mwasting my vacation away, it's
(13:38):
like a lot of pressure to put onsomething that's supposed to be
relaxing, recharging and likeenjoyable.
That's exhausting Definitely.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
And it's hard too, because everyone has.
Like Mike and I, when we gotmarried, we had to like, kind of
like not adjust, but like getused to the way the other person
vacations.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Oh great point.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah, like not everyone vacations the same.
Facts, facts on facts.
Yeah.
So like I, a vacation for mewould be literally to sit on the
beach from like 630 in themorning till seven o'clock at
night and I could just sit thereand like exist there, obviously
with like food and like a beeror something.
But like that could be arelaxing vacation for me.
(14:23):
Like that is not a relaxingvacation for Mike.
He gets totally stir crazy.
He like needs to be doingsomething.
So that was a big adjustmentbecause I was like I would get
annoyed with him because I'mlike what's your problem?
Because then he knew I like tosit on the beach, so he would
like like accommodate me, butthen be annoyed because he's not
having the type of vacationthat he wants to have.
(14:45):
So we kind of like have gottento a point where, like on travel
days, we'll like more low-keydays and there'll be a day that
like like, for example, when weum like arrive, usually the
check-in times, places are likelater in the afternoon anyway,
so the entire day is like kindof wasted by the time you check
in.
So that's the day that we'regonna like food shop because
(15:08):
it's like I don't want to foodshop because it's like I don't
want to food shop on like a fullday.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I would say on your TT beach time.
I know, trust me.
Yeah, public serviceannouncement Do not call TT when
she's on the beach for anybusiness matters.
She quite literally will go foryour jugular from experience.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
So like.
So, on travel days, we try anddo all the like annoying stuff
that vacation brings, becausethere is annoying things Food
shopping is annoying, Going tothe store or just little errands
you might have to do in orderto be able to relax.
So we'll handle that on traveldays and then we'll have days
(15:48):
where we relax or whatever.
But then we will throw inactivities like that will work
for the family too.
Like we have to find somethingthat like works well for the
majority of people so thateveryone enjoys it the best they
can.
Like I, we're not really intocramming activities.
Like we want to do like one ortwo things, but we're not the
type of people that are like oh,we didn't get to do this, so
(16:10):
like we didn't, you know,utilize our vacation the best of
our ability.
So like I think we have a goodbalance of like having some days
that are more like low key andthen other days where we're like
okay, we're going up, we'regoing to go here, we're going to
go there.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I love that point so much about cramming activities
because I know for myself Ithink really up until this year
when I was like I want to try totravel again, but do it a
different way.
I was very much in the mindsetof like, if you're not doing all
the things, and I don't mind,you know what all the things are
, because like what, like whatmy favorite vacation is, I can't
(16:47):
really give you an answer.
Most of the time it's aboutlike again the experience who
I'm with, but like I don't have.
Like you love the beach.
Who I'm with, but like I don'thave.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Like you love the beach.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I love the lake, but I live at the lake, you know.
So it's like, yeah, um, so, ontop of like not, it's having
this thing mindset in which Ineed to do all of said things in
order to vacation Right, Idon't even know what those are.
It completely like ignores theidea of vacation being relaxing,
enjoyable and like givingmyself permission to recharge
(17:18):
and not jam pack every singleday, doing, I will say, like two
trips of 2024 I've had so far.
I have like, not put so muchpressure on activities and I've
just done, done like if I wantedto take a nap during the day,
like I allowed that, like youknow, like I yeah, I made sure
that I just did everything Icould to enjoy every moment at
(17:43):
what of it was and I, like I'vesaid I've really had this the
first vacation I've ever comeback like truly feeling
recharged.
It also could have been thefact that the fireball was not
going down very good thisvacation, but here we are.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's really, I think that's
huge.
I think it's good to alsorecognize your limits on
vacation because even though youmight not be working, like,
there is stress that comes withthe vacation.
So, just like you would managestress at work or whatever
whatever that is, whether it'staking a nap or whether it's
reading a book, like you do needto allow yourself that time of
(18:15):
vacation so that you can get themost out of the vacation you're
taking.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Absolutely, especially these days.
Everything's so dang expensive,right.
But one last thing abouttransitions, and I don't.
I see a lot of people doingthis in the beginning and I want
to just say I think that it isa hack or a tip or whatever we
want to call it but giveyourself the day buffer when you
get home.
Yes, I did that with this tripwhere it's like we, we flew home
(18:44):
Saturday and we had all ofSunday and I get it the day
before.
It's like, oh my God, I'm sostressed, blah, blah, blah.
But the reality of it is isyou're never going to be more
excited than that moment You'reabout to go.
You'll be able to like find theenergy after work as opposed to
when you get back.
Going right back into the grindis so hard, but also like
(19:04):
nothing worse than looking atyour suitcase for a week and a
half knowing you have to unpack.
That I know everyone doesn'thave like that time.
Whatever have you.
But you know, when planningyour trips, see what you can do
to give that yourself, that thatday buffer, and if you only do,
one.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
My advice is, for sure, doing it when you return.
You'll need it, I agree.
I agree Cause it lets yousettle in and like readjust I
don't know.
It lets you settle in andadjust and it lets you like put
your life back together and likehave yourself, be ready to,
like jump back into your life.
Like I know for me, I'm notsomeone that's going to feel
settled if I can't unpack mysuitcase and can't put my things
(19:42):
away and can't get my car backto where it needs to be in order
to transport my kids from gameto game.
Like I would need a day inorder to unpack our car, since
we drive for our vacations mostof the time and the wash the
wash that you have on vacation,or like any of that stuff like I
would need a day to get thatall situated in order for me to
be like okay, like I am restedand I'm going to start my week
(20:05):
off back in the real world andit's not going to suck nearly as
bad as it would if I justjumped right back in and had my
regular work stuff to do, plusthe leftover vacation stuff I
need to situate.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, I mean I think again.
So we've got the pre figuredout, we've got our post plan and
here we are.
It's time for the good stuffhere we are.
Let's get into the tips formaking the most of your actual
vacation time stuff.
Let's get into the tips formaking the most of your actual
vacation time.
I think, titi, you made areally good point about that
(20:40):
ramp up time.
So how do you make the most outof when you're there, so that
it's intentional, you're present, but also, like you said in the
beginning, flexible, becauseSHIT is going to happen?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah, yeah, for real.
I mean you have to indulge alittle bit.
Obviously, that's whatvacation's for, and it's also
nice to have some things plannedout.
But plan things out that arerealistic for your situation.
Like I'm not going to plan outsome like elaborate when I've
got two kids, like that are nineand six.
Like I'm not going to plan outsome elaborate thing that, like
(21:08):
it's not going to work for theirages.
You know what I mean.
Like you're going to want topick something that you can do,
that that works for yoursituation, and you're also going
to want to pick something that,if things have to change like,
let's say, you pick an activityand then it rains that day like
have a, have a backup activity.
Like you never know what theweather's going to be.
Like you know, so you want to,you want to plan so that you
(21:29):
don't have to worry.
Like the worst is when you'reon vacation and you're like have
everything planned for sunnydays and then it rains, and then
you're in an area that you'renot necessarily familiar with,
unless it's somewhere you go allthe time.
But like then you're scrambling, like, oh, what should we do
for the weather, and then you'llprobably wind up getting stuck
inside and then you'll probablywind up just wasting that day.
So if you plan ahead of time,like have an A option for good
(21:55):
weather, a B option for badweather, I think it just makes
things a little bit easier.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
When we're talking about expectations.
I think part of not crammingthese activities allows the
flexibility to be like okay, wedidn't have anything planned for
Wednesday, we're going to swapTuesday's activity for Wednesday
because Tuesday was a rain outand we couldn't do the activity.
It allows like flexibility andthen, I think, therefore makes
you feel more content at the end.
It's setting up again forsuccess, with all the variables
(22:22):
you can control.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, and I feel like too, like when you have I don't
know like for me it is veryeasy, since all of my work is on
my phone, it's very easy for meto fall into just being like
checking my phone or answeringemails or, you know, doing
whatever I need to do, socialmedia wise, like.
So it is hard and it'sdifficult, and I think that's
(22:46):
something that a lot of peoplestruggle with is unplugging on
their vacation and how to bepresent, like and balance that,
because a lot of people's worknow is on their phones, like
whether we want to take it withus or not, we do so, and I know
you experienced that.
You're someone that works fromhome.
You have your laptop and yourphone, so how do you manage to
(23:10):
unplug Like you were with yourfamily?
Did you unplug when you werewith them?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
I think this was again something I really really
had to work at, and it just sohappens to be our takeaway tool
for today.
And it's all about unplugging,because I think that's a huge
part of the whole picture aswell is that presence.
So when you get back, it's notlike, oh, what did I even do on
vacation?
I wasn't even there because Iwas so worried about everything,
(23:39):
or work, or whatever it'scalled.
Can I really unplug?
And it's a set of questionsthat help you prioritize, decide
, set expectations around yourdevices and technology on
vacation.
I know it sounds a little crazy, but we live in a world where
everyone has so much access toyou that, if you don't plan for
it, your peace and your precioustime with your family will be
intruded on just because of thefact that they can send an email
(24:03):
.
Even if you have an awaymessage, you're getting that in
your email box.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Right and it's like, do I look?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
at it I know it's there.
I know it's there.
I know it's there, so I lovethis tool because it allows you
to hold yourself accountable,maintain boundaries while also
setting realistic expectationsinternally, but also for your
family or friends or whoeveryou're traveling with.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, and that's that's a good point, because,
like, if I'm just traveling withjust my kids and my husband,
like it's a little bit easier,like to get away with and not
that I want to get away with it,but it's a little like he
understands what I do for workright, like he understands that
like all the time my work is inmy hand, like he he gets that.
(24:43):
But when you're traveling withother people that haven't seen
you in a long time and this isthe time that they get with you
they're not going to be asunderstanding you know,
especially if they don't seewhat I do every day and don't
understand, like, how much of mytime it takes.
So I think that's that's a goodthing to have with the tool,
because the expectations can'tjust be for yourself, it has to
(25:05):
be for also the people thatyou're traveling with.
So give me the tool.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
All right.
So you're going to want toanswer these questions.
The first question you want toanswer is what is the least
amount of connectivity I can getaway with?
What I'm talking about here isreviewing your work culture,
separating your anxieties fromyour employer's expectations.
What is the expectation whileyou're away and what's the least
(25:32):
amount that you can in terms ofwork?
Like, do you have to checkevery three days?
How does your PTO work?
Are you working remotely?
And therefore you're working?
You know, like, what are thebounds of your responsibilities.
And then this is the one that Ithink people miss in terms of
connectivity.
Consider the relationshipsoutside of the people you're
(25:53):
traveling with.
Who needs my attention,non-negotiably when I say this,
I mean checking in with someonewho is watching your children or
your dog would be a connectionthat you would want to maintain
consistently throughout yourtrip, whereas like catching up
with an old friend becauseyou're finally just not working,
(26:13):
can be done when you returnright.
It's not something that you likehave to prioritize while you're
away just because you know youhave time.
So what's the least amount ofconnection you can have?
So the next thing after thatyou want to consider is what do
you want to use your devices forwhile you're away?
I know it sounds so juvenile,but we have a lot of these
(26:37):
things on autopilot, like yousaid.
So if you are bringing yourlaptop, your tablet, your nook,
your phone, your work phone,your smartwatch, your Alexa,
your projector, your digitalcamera and phone, your work
phone, your smartwatch, yourAlexa, your projector, your
digital camera and who knowswhat else, be intentional about
how you want to use the deviceand limit yourself to only using
them in that specific way.
(26:57):
This will help you ensure youdon't do unnecessary work while
you're away, or you don't getlost scrolling, or you don't get
lost scrolling, or you don'tend up binge watching something
on Netflix.
It's an intentionality, andbringing that to your conscious
sets a different type ofinternal expectation for
yourself.
And then the last thing I willsay is what platforms do I want
(27:24):
to disconnect from while I'maway?
And this is a big one and a hardone, because we all use a
variety of platforms daily toconnect, plan, organize,
entertain, create all the things.
So think about the apps you useand which ones could you use a
mental break from After you havedecided.
The big part about this one isset yourself up for success by
(27:47):
blocking the temptation.
So build a little friction.
Making the platform lessaccessible in the moment will
allow you to really unplug, youknow, and when I say that that's
like offloading the app, takingyour work email off your phone
for the week, stoppingnotifications, putting focus
signs on it may seem likedaunting or silly or like, oh, I
(28:10):
don't have to go through thoselengths, but the reality of it
is is by the time you realizethat you're in the thing that
you said you needed a break from.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, you're already done, you're already done.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
You're ready.
You've already scrolled for toolong, you know.
And so, um, as hard as it is,you know cause?
You know we both shoot a lot ofcontent for our platforms, et
cetera.
I did not go on TikTok theentire.
Wow, that's a biggie.
Yeah, Like I did, and Ihonestly like TikTok.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I think I went on Facebook the most because it's
the one that like bores me, likeI didn't have to really worry
about that one.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, yeah, tiktok sucks you in, man, you get lost
on there for hours and you knowI just set up a focus and I just
decided that.
You know it's not something Iwanted to get, like you know,
sucked into, even if it wasbecause I have a tendency of
getting sucked into by filmingthings that I'll edit later or
whatever.
You know creating that contentand you really do miss so much
(29:06):
when you're, when you're behind,you know the camera.
So, while it may feel silly,you want to ensure that you
create a system that's workingfor you and not against you.
All right, titi, any questions?
Anything so far?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
No, I mean, I definitely I've got a couple
vacations coming up, so I'mgoing to need to take some of
these, especially the socialmedia ones, because it's hard,
man.
I mean, especially when youmake money on social media, it's
very difficult because it'slike you never know.
Like well, if I just answerthis one comment, like maybe
that will help me make a sale,or you know what I mean, it's
very difficult to to do.
(29:42):
So I'm going this is going tobe a tough one for me.
I'm going to have to use thistake-home tool for sure.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Okay, well, but hear me out on this one, right?
So the last thing you have todo, based on those questions,
you want to come up with yourtech game plan and you need to
communicate that clearly withanyone who will be affected by
this game plan while you're away, and this is so important
because it allows everyone tounderstand and respect the time
(30:07):
you will be spending on yourdevices, on your phone, working
whatever have you.
For example, I just got backfrom family vacation and I think
this has, like really helped mymarriage and my time with my
family because, like you said,everyone wants that time and
people feel like, if you're onyour phone or you're on your
device, you know that's notgiving them that presence.
(30:32):
So, going in, I like madeeveryone aware that I had two
non-negotiable meetings that Ihad to do and that I had to
probably put in about two hoursworth of async work, and so that
was something that Icommunicated to Carrie.
Vice versa, carrie was like Ineed to skim my emails each
night to make sure there's nocrisis.
We both kind of communicatedthose expectations and that
really helped us feel engaged,connected, on the same page.
We didn't also like nag eachother when we were on the phone.
(30:54):
Titi, you might have to sayevery night, before you know, we
have our drink together.
I need to do two hours, or Ineed an hour on the beach just
to myself to be in my phone todo all my comments.
Right, the key there is holdingyourself accountable to that,
whatever time blocks you haveappropriately estimated for your
minimum bar of connecting andengaging, and then again
(31:19):
planning out a good prep planfor to minimize anything you
have to do on social media likescheduling posts and all that
good stuff.
That would be, I think, mylittle tip.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I definitely think that's a good one, especially
just saying like out from thegate, like hey, this is what I
need, this is when we can expectit to happen.
I, I like that.
I think it'll be well received,as opposed to if I'm just like
every so often, just likescrolling through my phone or
going through things.
So I'm going to take that, I'mgoing to take that little tool
(31:49):
and I like the communicationpiece of that, so you can find
this activity in our show notesalong with our episode resources
.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
And there you have it , folks, our triple threat for
the best vacation ever.
Prepare transition and thenfully embrace vacation mode.
Use the framework to create asystem that works for you and
your needs and watch.
You'll come back feeling morerefreshed and recharged instead
of needing a break from yourbreak.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Exactly, and we want to hear all about your future
amazing vacation, so be sure totake advantage of our new Text
Us feature.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
That's right.
You can actually text the showto share any feedback,
suggestions, future episodetopics you'd like to hear, or
even sign up for our email list.
Click on the link at the top ofour show notes and get texting.
We'd love to know if thisframework worked for you and
where you are heading next.
Until next time you're alwaysfine.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Seriously, you're fine.
You're fine because you havethe power to access your place
of peace anytime you need it.
However, if you get stuck,we're right at the palm of your
hand to help.
Check out our show notes forthis week's source list,
recommended content and Cabanalive group schedule.
We'll catch you next week for abrand new episode of You're
(33:02):
Always Fine.
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