December 30, 2024 • 22 mins
Today I’m reflecting on how I’ve grown this year and what I’m focusing on for 2025. From taking bold action before I felt “ready” to ending a toxic friendship and trusting myself more, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moments that have shaped my year. This episode is all about celebrating progress, embracing imperfections, and setting clear intentions for a fulfilling year ahead.
Listen to hear my perspective on:
- Taking big steps before feeling “ready”
- Facing fears around sharing my personal journey
- Letting go of toxic relationships faster
- Trusting my gut and valuing my own opinions
- Expanding my impact
- My goals for 2025
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Torie Wiksell (00:14):
Welcome to You're Not Crazy, a podcast for the
adult children of parents withborderline and narcissistic
personality disorders.
I'm your host, tori Wixel, atherapist and coach with over a
decade of experience in themental health field.
Now let's jump in.
Hi guys, welcome back to thepodcast this week.
(00:34):
Today is likely New Year's Eveif you are listening to this
podcast on Tuesday, and becauseit is New Year's Eve, I decided
to do a reflective episode.
Today.
We're going to talk about fiveways that I've personally and
professionally grown this yearand five things that I'm focused
on going into the next year.
(00:56):
Before we jump in, I want tojust say that if you're having a
hard week, if you're having ahard time, I totally feel you.
You are not the only one.
This holiday season has beenespecially stressful for so many
people and just know that weare almost out of it.
We are almost into the new year.
(01:17):
You are almost there and I amstill rooting for you.
If you haven't already and youfeel like you need some more
support, don't forget that youcan hop on over to
confidentboundariescom slash,join and check out the Confident
Boundaries online community.
Right now, because thecommunity is really at its
(01:38):
beginning stages, I am able tooffer a lot of feedback in there
.
So if you want my thoughts on asituation that you're going
through, it is only $29 a monthif you sign up by today.
So New Year's Eve is the lastday to get the $29 a month
locked in rate for ConfidentBoundaries.
(01:58):
After today it goes up to $39 amonth.
If you want to hear my thoughtsabout something that you're
currently struggling with,definitely hop on over there.
I'm in there every dayresponding to people's thoughts
and comments and posts, sodefinitely hop on over there if
you need a little extra helpthis week.
Okay, let's talk about my yearend wrap up of.
(02:20):
We'll start with the five waysI feel that I've professionally
and personally grown this year,because that's kind of been a
fun thing for me to reflect ontoday.
The first one is I'm reallyproud of the way that I have
done things I want to do waybefore I feel ready to do them.
(02:40):
I absolutely am a perfectionistat heart and that is something
I have had to work on a lotthroughout my life, especially
in adulthood.
I have rarely felt ready to dothings.
There's always more preparationthat could go in.
I could always learn more.
(03:01):
I could always prep more, butthe reality is that I've let a
lot of things in my life pass meby because I didn't feel ready
to do them, and what I'velearned throughout my life is
that most people who are reallysuccessful really are doing the
best they can and winging a lotof it as they go.
(03:23):
And so this year, I've reallychallenged myself to have a bit
more confidence in my ability todo more to help others, more to
expand my businesses, before Ireally feel ready to do that,
and I'm really excited that Ipushed myself because I didn't
feel ready to start this podcastand yet I did it.
(03:45):
It's been such a fun thing forme to do this year and it's been
so rewarding and so neat tohear from people who have found
this podcast and that it'sresonated with, so I'm so happy
that I did this before I feltready.
I also launched my coachingbusiness this year.
I launched the ConfidentBoundaries online community.
(04:07):
I launched the Boundariesroadmap.
This year.
It's been a busy year, full ofme doing things way before I
felt ready to do them, and Ithink that what I've learned
throughout this process is thatit doesn't have to be perfect
for it to be meaningful, and itdoesn't have to be perfect.
(04:29):
You don't have to be entirelyready and confident going into
it in order for it to make adifference, and so I'm really
proud of pushing myself before Ifelt ready to do some things
that were really important to me.
That kind of goes into numbertwo, facing my fears.
I am really proud of myselfthis year for facing a huge fear
(04:52):
that I've had of talking aboutmy own journey publicly.
I have not talked about my ownjourney publicly before this
year.
My own journey of growing upwith my immediate family and my
experiences with my mom and, ata lesser extent, my dad.
(05:13):
This has not been somethingthat I have talked about
publicly for so many reasons.
It has taken me many, many yearsin personal therapy to get to a
place where I feel that I haveprocessed and worked through
these relationships enough thatI feel comfortable talking about
(05:33):
them.
They're really complicatedrelationships.
They're really layered.
I think it's taken me a verylong time to get enough
perspective on my own journeythat I feel comfortable sharing
parts of it.
It's also really scary becauseit is something that is so
vulnerable and true to me right.
(05:54):
There's a lot of trauma that'swrapped up in it, and although I
have processed so much of thattrauma, I'm a human being and
there's no like absolute finishline you get to when you've
experienced trauma.
It's very, very complicated,it's very layered, and not
everyone that has known thepeople in my family or that is
(06:18):
in my family has the sameexperience that I have, and so,
for so many reasons, it has beenvery scary for me to decide to
be so much more public on myInstagram account, with my email
list, with this podcast, on mywebsite and my blog.
It's been really, really scary,and I'm so glad that I chose to
(06:44):
do it, because A it has helpedso many other people in addition
to myself, just de-stigmatizingthe fact that this is something
that is not entirely uncommonand it's something a lot of
adults struggle with, and it'ssomething a lot of adults
struggle with, and it'ssomething that you can make you
(07:07):
feel crazy and you're not, andyou're not alone, and so I am so
grateful that talking about myown personal journey has been so
helpful to so many other people.
I'm also really proud of myselffor talking about my own
personal journey, because itreally has solidified the work
that I have done in so muchtherapy and just personal
(07:30):
reflection throughout the years.
The fact that I have been ableto sit here every week and share
with you things about myselfand my relationship with my own
mom growing up.
That was pretty traumatic andit really does show me that I
have worked through a lot ofthis trauma and I've made peace
(07:53):
and I've accepted a lot of theexperiences that I've had and I
still have work to do.
So it's been really helpfuljust putting into perspective
how far I've come throughoutthis process and reminding me
that there are still areas thatwould be helpful for me to
(08:15):
continue to reflect on in my owntherapy.
The next one that I'm proud ofis ending a toxic friendship.
So I did a podcast episodeabout ghosting a friend I made
this year, so for those of youthat haven't listened, I
encourage you to go back andcheck out the episode.
(08:35):
I cannot remember what it'scalled.
I think I might have named itsomething like I ghosted a
friend and I'm not sorry aboutit.
I don't remember exactly, but Idid record a podcast about it
and I moved to a new state alittle over a year ago and I am
(08:57):
a working mom and I am in a newstate and while I have such
wonderful friendships, I don'thave friends that live locally
and, like so many other adults,it's hard to meet friends.
It's hard to make friends as anadult.
(09:17):
And so this year I made a realconcerted effort to expand my
local social circle and get outthere and put myself out there
and meet new friends, and I didend up making two great new
friends.
Unfortunately, one moved out ofstate shortly thereafter, but
the other one wasn't thehealthiest friendship.
(09:38):
It was a pretty toxicrelationship and I'm so proud of
myself that when I recognizedthat this is not a healthy
relationship, I didn't continueto try to make it work.
I didn't blame myself, I didn'ttolerate abusive behaviors for
a prolonged period of time, Ijust said this is not the
(10:00):
relationship for me and moved on.
Number four I am so proud ofmyself for not asking other
people's opinions about thingsthat I feel confident doing.
I have really, really, reallystruggled with this in the past.
(10:20):
I have shared things that I'vewritten and asked for feedback
from people before decidingwhether or not I wanted to
publish those things.
I have really, really leaned onother people's perspectives on
the work that I have done in somany ways, especially things
(10:44):
that I have written or producedmyself, and this year I stopped
doing that.
I decided that I have things tosay that are important, that
I've been a therapist for areally long time almost 12 years
now, which is just wild and Ihave a lot of experience and I
feel very confident in helpingthe clients that I do in therapy
(11:06):
and I don't need to run everysingle thing that I do or that I
write or that I say by otherpeople.
I just need to act in alignmentwith my own value system, with
my code of ethics, with laws,with kindness and compassion,
(11:26):
and it's going to be okay.
I'm capable of handling anysort of feedback, positive or
negative, that I receive, andthat feels really good, because
that has been a huge strugglefor me.
When I grew up with a parentwho consistently told me that my
(11:48):
thoughts and feelings that werein conflict with her own were
wrong, that it was combative andwrong of me to have a different
opinion than her, it reallycrushed my confidence in
believing in myself.
So me pushing myself to do thathas really been such a huge
(12:10):
growth period for me.
Number five of the ways that Ihave grown this year is helping
more people by expanding mybusinesses.
This is huge for me.
I love being a therapist.
I absolutely love being atherapist.
I feel so lucky to get to dowhat I love for a living, and as
(12:34):
a therapist, I am also solimited in the amount of people
that I can help.
And so by me starting thispodcast, by me starting the
Confident Boundaries onlinecommunity, by me launching my
course that is in the ConfidentBoundaries online community, by
me launching my course that isin the Confident Boundaries
online community, by me doingcoaching, I'm able to help so
(12:56):
many more people than I wasbefore, and it feels so great to
be able to have a positiveinfluence on other people's
lives and to just be a tiny partof their journey.
It feels awesome and I'm so, solucky and fortunate to be able
to do that.
So those are the five ways thatI'm really proud of that I've
(13:18):
grown this year.
Now let's go into the fivethings I'm going to be focusing
on going into 2025.
Number one growing my supportsystem.
Like I said, I moved to a newstate a little over a year
almost two years ago now a yearand a half ago, let's say but I
moved here with a young baby.
(13:39):
I have the best support system.
I have the best friends.
Like ever, I am so lucky withthe friends that I have and the
friendships that I have, and Ireally want to expand my support
system locally with new friends, with colleagues, with just
(13:59):
people that I can get togetherwith, that I feel connected to
and can share some, you know,time with.
So growing my support system isat the top of my list this year
.
Number two taking moreintentional time to sit with my
feelings.
I don't like to do it all thetime.
(14:20):
It's really uncomfortable andunpleasant to sit with
distressing feelings.
I don't like to sit withfeeling anxious.
I don't like to sit withfeeling sad or grief or
disappointment or anger orfrustration.
I don't like to sit withuncomfortable feelings.
My guess is you don't either.
(14:41):
It's not pleasant and it'sreally unpleasant when you
haven't had the opportunity tolearn how to do it as a kid.
It's really hard to learn howto do it as a kid.
It's really hard to learn howto do it as an adult.
And it really takes intentionfrom me to be able to sit with
my feelings and, instead ofacting in a way to avoid
(15:06):
discomfort, it takes a lot ofintention for me to instead just
tolerate it and sit with it andride it out, and so this is one
that I've been working on formany, many years now, and it's
one that I still have to keeptowards the top of my list,
because it continues to takeeffort for me to do so.
(15:27):
But the trade-off is great,because I'm making decisions now
that are based on what Iactually want to be doing, what
I care about, what I value,versus based on how quickly I
can make this uncomfortablefeeling go away.
Number three making room foractivities in my life that bring
me joy.
(15:47):
So things like yoga, runningand watching reality TV.
I am the biggest fan of realityTV.
I started watching Bravo wayback in the day.
With Flipping Out, I watched aevery Bravo show.
Back in the day, I watched theReal Housewives of Orange County
(16:09):
from day one.
I have been a huge reality TVfan for years and years and
years.
It is my escapism.
I love it.
It is so enjoyable for me, andover the last few years since
becoming a mom, it's been reallyhard for me to carve out any
time at all to sit and watchreality TV uninterrupted, and I
(16:34):
know that I'm not going to getback to the point where I'm
following every single realityTV show that Bravo or Netflix
airs, but there are a few, likethe Real Housewives of Salt Lake
City, that I would really liketo carve out time to watch
because they're just wild andbring me so much joy.
So I'm going to get back todoing things like yoga, running
(16:59):
and watching reality TV byintentionally making some room
for myself to do those Numberfour celebrating my personal
wins in progress more often.
This activity that I did oftrying to reflect on this year
and look forward to what Iwanted to work on in the
(17:20):
upcoming year was really nicebecause I was able to really
take a second and appreciate howmuch I have accomplished this
year and how proud of myself Ireally am.
I don't do that enough.
I don't celebrate my ownpersonal wins enough, and that's
for a variety of reasons.
I'm busy and I've got a lotthat I'm balancing at all times
(17:45):
and it's hard to take a secondto step back and reflect and
really appreciate what I'veachieved.
I oftentimes am in the middleof working on something else.
When something goes right inone area of my life, I'm often
very busy in another area, andpart of that is being the mom of
(18:05):
a toddler.
It's being the working mom of atoddler.
I know all moms are workingmoms, but being the mom of a
toddler and then also runningtwo businesses in addition to
that, it is a huge balancing actand as she continues to grow
and become more independent, itdefinitely gets easier to do and
(18:30):
it still can be reallychallenging to take time to
appreciate the progress that I'mmaking on a day-to-day level.
So I really want to check inwith myself more this upcoming
year and really celebrate theprogress that I'm making instead
of only focusing on my nextgoal.
And that brings us to numberfive.
(18:52):
My fifth thing that I want tokeep top of mind going into the
new year.
That is focusing my time andenergy more intentionally into
my business and personal life.
I love what I do for a living.
Like I said, I love being atherapist.
I am so lucky I get to be atherapist.
(19:13):
I love coaching.
I love doing this podcast.
I love my businesses.
I love being able to work withother people.
I love helping people.
I just love everything aboutwhat I do for work.
I also really love my personallife.
Like I said, I have reallygreat friends.
(19:35):
I am so lucky.
I have an amazing daughter, Ihave an amazing dog, I have a
wonderful husband.
I have a really great life, andthis year I want to be much
more intentional on where I'mfocusing my time and energy.
I want to take more vacations.
Next year, I want to reallycarve out more structure and
(20:01):
routine in my day-to-day life,because I want 2025 to be the
year where I really get to fullyenjoy both my personal and
professional life, because I amintentional about the way that
I'm approaching them both, andthat goes into making sure that
(20:21):
I'm setting really goodboundaries for myself, both
personally and professionally.
That's my year-end wrap-up whatI'm really proud of this year,
what I'm keeping top of mindnext year.
I hope you enjoyed hearing mypersonal reflections.
I am so appreciative for all ofyou who listen to the podcast,
(20:42):
who DM me on Instagram to say hi, to email me and just share how
this podcast has impacted youin your life.
It really, really, really meansthe world to me.
I do not take it for granted.
It has been such a positiveexperience for me getting to
(21:03):
share my own story andrecognizing how many other
people have been helped by metalking about these things.
So please never hesitate towrite to me, never hesitate to
email me, to DM me and justshare your thoughts on the
podcast and the community andthe course and everything I just
(21:26):
I so greatly appreciate youguys taking the time to listen
to me and my thoughts every week.
So, with that said, I hope youall have a great New Year's Eve
and a great start to 2025.
And I'll see you next week.
Thanks so much for joining mefor another week of You're Not
(21:47):
Crazy.
If you like the podcast, pleasemake sure to rate us five stars
and leave a review.
It helps so much.
And make sure to check the shownotes for discounts and updates
of what's going on in my world.
Okay, I'll see you next week.
Welcome to You're Not Crazy, a podcast for the
adult children of parents withborderline and narcissistic
personality disorders.
I'm your host, tori Wixel, atherapist and coach with over a
decade of experience in themental health field.
Now let's jump in.
Hi guys, welcome back to thepodcast this week.
(00:34):
Today is likely New Year's Eveif you are listening to this
podcast on Tuesday, and becauseit is New Year's Eve, I decided
to do a reflective episode.
Today.
We're going to talk about fiveways that I've personally and
professionally grown this yearand five things that I'm focused
on going into the next year.
(00:56):
Before we jump in, I want tojust say that if you're having a
hard week, if you're having ahard time, I totally feel you.
You are not the only one.
This holiday season has beenespecially stressful for so many
people and just know that weare almost out of it.
We are almost into the new year.
(01:17):
You are almost there and I amstill rooting for you.
If you haven't already and youfeel like you need some more
support, don't forget that youcan hop on over to
confidentboundariescom slash,join and check out the Confident
Boundaries online community.
Right now, because thecommunity is really at its
(01:38):
beginning stages, I am able tooffer a lot of feedback in there
.
So if you want my thoughts on asituation that you're going
through, it is only $29 a monthif you sign up by today.
So New Year's Eve is the lastday to get the $29 a month
locked in rate for ConfidentBoundaries.
(01:58):
After today it goes up to $39 amonth.
If you want to hear my thoughtsabout something that you're
currently struggling with,definitely hop on over there.
I'm in there every dayresponding to people's thoughts
and comments and posts, sodefinitely hop on over there if
you need a little extra helpthis week.
Okay, let's talk about my yearend wrap up of.
(02:20):
We'll start with the five waysI feel that I've professionally
and personally grown this year,because that's kind of been a
fun thing for me to reflect ontoday.
The first one is I'm reallyproud of the way that I have
done things I want to do waybefore I feel ready to do them.
(02:40):
I absolutely am a perfectionistat heart and that is something
I have had to work on a lotthroughout my life, especially
in adulthood.
I have rarely felt ready to dothings.
There's always more preparationthat could go in.
I could always learn more.
(03:01):
I could always prep more, butthe reality is that I've let a
lot of things in my life pass meby because I didn't feel ready
to do them, and what I'velearned throughout my life is
that most people who are reallysuccessful really are doing the
best they can and winging a lotof it as they go.
(03:23):
And so this year, I've reallychallenged myself to have a bit
more confidence in my ability todo more to help others, more to
expand my businesses, before Ireally feel ready to do that,
and I'm really excited that Ipushed myself because I didn't
feel ready to start this podcastand yet I did it.
(03:45):
It's been such a fun thing forme to do this year and it's been
so rewarding and so neat tohear from people who have found
this podcast and that it'sresonated with, so I'm so happy
that I did this before I feltready.
I also launched my coachingbusiness this year.
I launched the ConfidentBoundaries online community.
(04:07):
I launched the Boundariesroadmap.
This year.
It's been a busy year, full ofme doing things way before I
felt ready to do them, and Ithink that what I've learned
throughout this process is thatit doesn't have to be perfect
for it to be meaningful, and itdoesn't have to be perfect.
(04:29):
You don't have to be entirelyready and confident going into
it in order for it to make adifference, and so I'm really
proud of pushing myself before Ifelt ready to do some things
that were really important to me.
That kind of goes into numbertwo, facing my fears.
I am really proud of myselfthis year for facing a huge fear
(04:52):
that I've had of talking aboutmy own journey publicly.
I have not talked about my ownjourney publicly before this
year.
My own journey of growing upwith my immediate family and my
experiences with my mom and, ata lesser extent, my dad.
(05:13):
This has not been somethingthat I have talked about
publicly for so many reasons.
It has taken me many, many yearsin personal therapy to get to a
place where I feel that I haveprocessed and worked through
these relationships enough thatI feel comfortable talking about
(05:33):
them.
They're really complicatedrelationships.
They're really layered.
I think it's taken me a verylong time to get enough
perspective on my own journeythat I feel comfortable sharing
parts of it.
It's also really scary becauseit is something that is so
vulnerable and true to me right.
(05:54):
There's a lot of trauma that'swrapped up in it, and although I
have processed so much of thattrauma, I'm a human being and
there's no like absolute finishline you get to when you've
experienced trauma.
It's very, very complicated,it's very layered, and not
everyone that has known thepeople in my family or that is
(06:18):
in my family has the sameexperience that I have, and so,
for so many reasons, it has beenvery scary for me to decide to
be so much more public on myInstagram account, with my email
list, with this podcast, on mywebsite and my blog.
It's been really, really scary,and I'm so glad that I chose to
(06:44):
do it, because A it has helpedso many other people in addition
to myself, just de-stigmatizingthe fact that this is something
that is not entirely uncommonand it's something a lot of
adults struggle with, and it'ssomething a lot of adults
struggle with, and it'ssomething that you can make you
(07:07):
feel crazy and you're not, andyou're not alone, and so I am so
grateful that talking about myown personal journey has been so
helpful to so many other people.
I'm also really proud of myselffor talking about my own
personal journey, because itreally has solidified the work
that I have done in so muchtherapy and just personal
(07:30):
reflection throughout the years.
The fact that I have been ableto sit here every week and share
with you things about myselfand my relationship with my own
mom growing up.
That was pretty traumatic andit really does show me that I
have worked through a lot ofthis trauma and I've made peace
(07:53):
and I've accepted a lot of theexperiences that I've had and I
still have work to do.
So it's been really helpfuljust putting into perspective
how far I've come throughoutthis process and reminding me
that there are still areas thatwould be helpful for me to
(08:15):
continue to reflect on in my owntherapy.
The next one that I'm proud ofis ending a toxic friendship.
So I did a podcast episodeabout ghosting a friend I made
this year, so for those of youthat haven't listened, I
encourage you to go back andcheck out the episode.
(08:35):
I cannot remember what it'scalled.
I think I might have named itsomething like I ghosted a
friend and I'm not sorry aboutit.
I don't remember exactly, but Idid record a podcast about it
and I moved to a new state alittle over a year ago and I am
(08:57):
a working mom and I am in a newstate and while I have such
wonderful friendships, I don'thave friends that live locally
and, like so many other adults,it's hard to meet friends.
It's hard to make friends as anadult.
(09:17):
And so this year I made a realconcerted effort to expand my
local social circle and get outthere and put myself out there
and meet new friends, and I didend up making two great new
friends.
Unfortunately, one moved out ofstate shortly thereafter, but
the other one wasn't thehealthiest friendship.
(09:38):
It was a pretty toxicrelationship and I'm so proud of
myself that when I recognizedthat this is not a healthy
relationship, I didn't continueto try to make it work.
I didn't blame myself, I didn'ttolerate abusive behaviors for
a prolonged period of time, Ijust said this is not the
(10:00):
relationship for me and moved on.
Number four I am so proud ofmyself for not asking other
people's opinions about thingsthat I feel confident doing.
I have really, really, reallystruggled with this in the past.
(10:20):
I have shared things that I'vewritten and asked for feedback
from people before decidingwhether or not I wanted to
publish those things.
I have really, really leaned onother people's perspectives on
the work that I have done in somany ways, especially things
(10:44):
that I have written or producedmyself, and this year I stopped
doing that.
I decided that I have things tosay that are important, that
I've been a therapist for areally long time almost 12 years
now, which is just wild and Ihave a lot of experience and I
feel very confident in helpingthe clients that I do in therapy
(11:06):
and I don't need to run everysingle thing that I do or that I
write or that I say by otherpeople.
I just need to act in alignmentwith my own value system, with
my code of ethics, with laws,with kindness and compassion,
(11:26):
and it's going to be okay.
I'm capable of handling anysort of feedback, positive or
negative, that I receive, andthat feels really good, because
that has been a huge strugglefor me.
When I grew up with a parentwho consistently told me that my
(11:48):
thoughts and feelings that werein conflict with her own were
wrong, that it was combative andwrong of me to have a different
opinion than her, it reallycrushed my confidence in
believing in myself.
So me pushing myself to do thathas really been such a huge
(12:10):
growth period for me.
Number five of the ways that Ihave grown this year is helping
more people by expanding mybusinesses.
This is huge for me.
I love being a therapist.
I absolutely love being atherapist.
I feel so lucky to get to dowhat I love for a living, and as
(12:34):
a therapist, I am also solimited in the amount of people
that I can help.
And so by me starting thispodcast, by me starting the
Confident Boundaries onlinecommunity, by me launching my
course that is in the ConfidentBoundaries online community, by
me launching my course that isin the Confident Boundaries
online community, by me doingcoaching, I'm able to help so
(12:56):
many more people than I wasbefore, and it feels so great to
be able to have a positiveinfluence on other people's
lives and to just be a tiny partof their journey.
It feels awesome and I'm so, solucky and fortunate to be able
to do that.
So those are the five ways thatI'm really proud of that I've
(13:18):
grown this year.
Now let's go into the fivethings I'm going to be focusing
on going into 2025.
Number one growing my supportsystem.
Like I said, I moved to a newstate a little over a year
almost two years ago now a yearand a half ago, let's say but I
moved here with a young baby.
(13:39):
I have the best support system.
I have the best friends.
Like ever, I am so lucky withthe friends that I have and the
friendships that I have, and Ireally want to expand my support
system locally with new friends, with colleagues, with just
(13:59):
people that I can get togetherwith, that I feel connected to
and can share some, you know,time with.
So growing my support system isat the top of my list this year
.
Number two taking moreintentional time to sit with my
feelings.
I don't like to do it all thetime.
(14:20):
It's really uncomfortable andunpleasant to sit with
distressing feelings.
I don't like to sit withfeeling anxious.
I don't like to sit withfeeling sad or grief or
disappointment or anger orfrustration.
I don't like to sit withuncomfortable feelings.
My guess is you don't either.
(14:41):
It's not pleasant and it'sreally unpleasant when you
haven't had the opportunity tolearn how to do it as a kid.
It's really hard to learn howto do it as a kid.
It's really hard to learn howto do it as an adult.
And it really takes intentionfrom me to be able to sit with
my feelings and, instead ofacting in a way to avoid
(15:06):
discomfort, it takes a lot ofintention for me to instead just
tolerate it and sit with it andride it out, and so this is one
that I've been working on formany, many years now, and it's
one that I still have to keeptowards the top of my list,
because it continues to takeeffort for me to do so.
(15:27):
But the trade-off is great,because I'm making decisions now
that are based on what Iactually want to be doing, what
I care about, what I value,versus based on how quickly I
can make this uncomfortablefeeling go away.
Number three making room foractivities in my life that bring
me joy.
(15:47):
So things like yoga, runningand watching reality TV.
I am the biggest fan of realityTV.
I started watching Bravo wayback in the day.
With Flipping Out, I watched aevery Bravo show.
Back in the day, I watched theReal Housewives of Orange County
(16:09):
from day one.
I have been a huge reality TVfan for years and years and
years.
It is my escapism.
I love it.
It is so enjoyable for me, andover the last few years since
becoming a mom, it's been reallyhard for me to carve out any
time at all to sit and watchreality TV uninterrupted, and I
(16:34):
know that I'm not going to getback to the point where I'm
following every single realityTV show that Bravo or Netflix
airs, but there are a few, likethe Real Housewives of Salt Lake
City, that I would really liketo carve out time to watch
because they're just wild andbring me so much joy.
So I'm going to get back todoing things like yoga, running
(16:59):
and watching reality TV byintentionally making some room
for myself to do those Numberfour celebrating my personal
wins in progress more often.
This activity that I did oftrying to reflect on this year
and look forward to what Iwanted to work on in the
(17:20):
upcoming year was really nicebecause I was able to really
take a second and appreciate howmuch I have accomplished this
year and how proud of myself Ireally am.
I don't do that enough.
I don't celebrate my ownpersonal wins enough, and that's
for a variety of reasons.
I'm busy and I've got a lotthat I'm balancing at all times
(17:45):
and it's hard to take a secondto step back and reflect and
really appreciate what I'veachieved.
I oftentimes am in the middleof working on something else.
When something goes right inone area of my life, I'm often
very busy in another area, andpart of that is being the mom of
(18:05):
a toddler.
It's being the working mom of atoddler.
I know all moms are workingmoms, but being the mom of a
toddler and then also runningtwo businesses in addition to
that, it is a huge balancing actand as she continues to grow
and become more independent, itdefinitely gets easier to do and
(18:30):
it still can be reallychallenging to take time to
appreciate the progress that I'mmaking on a day-to-day level.
So I really want to check inwith myself more this upcoming
year and really celebrate theprogress that I'm making instead
of only focusing on my nextgoal.
And that brings us to numberfive.
(18:52):
My fifth thing that I want tokeep top of mind going into the
new year.
That is focusing my time andenergy more intentionally into
my business and personal life.
I love what I do for a living.
Like I said, I love being atherapist.
I am so lucky I get to be atherapist.
(19:13):
I love coaching.
I love doing this podcast.
I love my businesses.
I love being able to work withother people.
I love helping people.
I just love everything aboutwhat I do for work.
I also really love my personallife.
Like I said, I have reallygreat friends.
(19:35):
I am so lucky.
I have an amazing daughter, Ihave an amazing dog, I have a
wonderful husband.
I have a really great life, andthis year I want to be much
more intentional on where I'mfocusing my time and energy.
I want to take more vacations.
Next year, I want to reallycarve out more structure and
(20:01):
routine in my day-to-day life,because I want 2025 to be the
year where I really get to fullyenjoy both my personal and
professional life, because I amintentional about the way that
I'm approaching them both, andthat goes into making sure that
(20:21):
I'm setting really goodboundaries for myself, both
personally and professionally.
That's my year-end wrap-up whatI'm really proud of this year,
what I'm keeping top of mindnext year.
I hope you enjoyed hearing mypersonal reflections.
I am so appreciative for all ofyou who listen to the podcast,
(20:42):
who DM me on Instagram to say hi, to email me and just share how
this podcast has impacted youin your life.
It really, really, really meansthe world to me.
I do not take it for granted.
It has been such a positiveexperience for me getting to
(21:03):
share my own story andrecognizing how many other
people have been helped by metalking about these things.
So please never hesitate towrite to me, never hesitate to
email me, to DM me and justshare your thoughts on the
podcast and the community andthe course and everything I just
(21:26):
I so greatly appreciate youguys taking the time to listen
to me and my thoughts every week.
So, with that said, I hope youall have a great New Year's Eve
and a great start to 2025.
And I'll see you next week.
Thanks so much for joining mefor another week of You're Not
(21:47):
Crazy.
If you like the podcast, pleasemake sure to rate us five stars
and leave a review.
It helps so much.
And make sure to check the shownotes for discounts and updates
of what's going on in my world.
Okay, I'll see you next week.
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