When Caring Becomes Self-Abandonment: How Cycle Breakers Get Stuck in the Caretaker Role

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell shares the truth about how that same caretaking instinct keeps so many cycle breakers stuck. Torie opens up about her own experience navigating guilt, fear, and the pressure to protect the people in her family who hurt her—especially as she shares her own story publicly.

This conversation explores:

• How caretaking becomes a form of self-abandonment
• Why guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re breaking a pattern
• What it actually looks like to stop managing everyone else’s emotions
• How to release responsibility for other people’s discomfort without losing your empathy

If you’ve ever felt torn between taking care of yourself and protecting your family’s feelings, this episode will help you understand why that tension exists—and how to start choosing yourself without shame.

Torie’s reminder for this week:

“ It is not our job to comfort people we care about when they are uncomfortable with us taking care of ourselves.”

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