July 7, 2023 • 25 mins
THIS IS PART 2 of the goal setting podcast.
Struggling to consistently break 80 on your golf score? It's time to flip the script! As golfers, we often neglect the power of goal setting and having someone to hold us accountable. This episode is a deep dive into the intricacies of setting up achievable goals and the crucial role of an accountability partner in your golf journey.
This episode not only explores the science of goal setting but also dares to tread on the uncertainties of failure. We put under the microscope, what drives us towards a goal and what holds us back. Unpacking the implications of failure and the importance of understanding the consequences, we provide insights on how to identify if a goal truly resonates with your passion and purpose. Finally, we cast light on the different strategies employed by short-term and long-term golfers translating failures into stepping stones towards success. So, if you're ready to level up your game, both on and off the green, this episode is a must-listen!
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jordan (00:00):
Setting goals podcast part two coming up, but first
announcements, hello, hello.
Welcome to the announcementssection for the week.
If you've not yet followed uson social media, we are at my
pure golf, at M Y P?
U R E GOLF.
(00:21):
Across all the major platformsTiktok, facebook, instagram,
youtube you know all the usualones that almost everybody's on.
If you could give us a followor you want to interact with
some of the posts by commentingor liking, it is always beyond
Appreciated.
We are posting content inshorts every single day on
social media and then one longervideo per week on the YouTube
(00:43):
channel.
Furthermore, if you aren'tsubscribed to the podcast,
please subscribe.
We want to continue to put thebest content out there.
We can help golfersconsistently break 80 and if
you're looking for ways to helpus out, following or subscribing
to the podcast helps us.
So so, so much.
Then, if you want to take it tothe next level of support,
(01:06):
leave us a rating or even areview on Spotify or Apple
podcast, and it actually helpsthe podcast For potential
listeners in the future.
For, for those who want to readthe reviews, say what you love
in that review.
Give us your success story.
We want to hear it all.
We're still figuring out thiswhole podcast thing and how
often we're gonna post For alittle bit.
(01:29):
So give us just a little timeto figure that out.
I know for a fact that we willbe posting a new podcast every
Friday.
I'll keep you updated on that.
But anyways, thanks so much forlistening and now back to the
podcast.
(01:51):
Welcome back to the podcast.
For starters, i gotta say Wegot some great feedback on last
week's episode.
So if you haven't listened topart one of this chain of
episodes, go back and listen toit before you start into this
episode.
It's literally the episodebefore this that we posted and
it's the beginning to all thechanges that you need to make in
(02:11):
your golf game to begin findingsuccess.
For those who did listen And ifyou're, you know, just not
gonna go back and listen to partone Let me summarize what we
covered last, last episode, justto jog your memory a little bit
.
The reason most golfers fail isbecause most golfers are really
(02:32):
Really bad at goal setting.
Actually like comically badGolfers get really down on
themselves for not accomplishingtheir big, massive goal as
quickly as they quote unquoteshould, without taking into
account just how many hundreds,if not thousands of little
Miniature goals there are alongthe way to begin reaching that
(02:53):
huge Long-term goal, that thatmountain you're trying to climb.
So we talked a little bit ofreverse engineering.
We talked how to set goals inand then asking yourself a
pretty massive question in well,why is this important to me All
?
right, now that you're allcaught up, i Hope that's a good
(03:14):
enough of a summary of lastweek's episode.
It was about a 20-minute episode, but let's dig into the new
stuff today, and some of thisstuff is really challenging.
It's meant to challenge you.
It's stuff that you reallydon't want to think about, but
you've got to today.
You've got to be realistic andyou've got to hold yourself
accountable.
And Speaking of accountability,that's the next step.
(03:38):
Who is going to hold youaccountable to do the things
that you say you're going to do,both on and off the golf course
?
You need an accountabilitypartner if you're going to
achieve all that you want to doin the game of golf.
Let's just clear something upright away your accountability
partner Does not I repeat, doesnot have to be a fellow golfer.
(04:00):
I will say it one more timeYour accountability partner does
not have to be a fellow golfer.
Sometimes it certainly doeshelp if your accountability
partner is a golfer, becauseit's someone that you can meet
at the driving range Or meet atthe golf course and talk through
things with, and who can watchyou and help you, who you can
(04:20):
even compete with on the journeyof bettering yourself in the
game of golf.
However, there's also thatdownside that you may feel like
you have to schedule your dayAnd your practice around them
and their schedule, and a lot oftimes it's that's very hard for
for golfers, and and if youreally, if you don't want to
find yourself competing againstsomeone or comparing yourself to
(04:42):
someone on the road to successin golf, maybe you don't need a
golfing accountability partner.
Maybe golf is going to be moreof your own solo journey.
So I've had plenty of playerswho would say that they're a
significant other, meaning theirpartner, who they've chosen to
marry, who they've chosen tospend their lives with, is
(05:03):
actually their accountabilitypartner in the game of golf.
I've taught some women alongthe way, but for the men, a lot
of them actually look to theirwives or their partners to make
sure that they're getting outand practicing what they say.
They're going to practice, andmaybe that's about making time
to the schedule.
So one of them is covering thekids, or really it can be any
reason at all.
However, on the search for thataccountability partner, well,
(05:28):
however, on the search for thataccountability partner, i think
it needs to be someone that willsay from time to time, because
it's going to happen, hey, yougot to do a little bit better
here.
We need you to do a little bitbetter because you got to reach
that goal.
Or that accountability partnerneeds to be willing to ask the
hard questions that are going toincentivize you to get better,
(05:52):
so you're not running stale allthe time.
I always recommend weeklycheck-ins with your
accountability partner where yousay, hey, on this day, this
time, every single week, i'mgoing to get you a report of how
I did, and there's not going tobe any excuses behind it.
And if there are excuses, youraccountability partner.
(06:13):
I'm really struggling.
I need accountability forsaying the word accountability.
If there are excuses, youraccountability partner should be
willing to shoot them down,unless it is for a dang good
reason that you didn't do it yousaid you were going to do for
the week.
In life, i've had many peopleattempt to be my accountability
partner and I've been asked tobe it along the way as well, and
(06:37):
every single one of mine hasfailed.
And when I found the one thatdidn't fail me nor did I really
fail them I kept them around andasked them to continue to be
that role in my life.
And we've never really strayed.
We've asked each other really,really tough questions.
We've sat down to evolve ouraccountability program with each
(07:02):
other of how can we do itbetter, what makes it more
efficient, but also what makesit tougher, because it doesn't
always need to be easy, but whatmakes that accountability
relationship really make youwant to become better at
building your craft?
And every so often we've saidthat we need to make this
(07:22):
accountability thing go deeperand better.
So we go back to the drawingboard and figure out how to make
this relationship better Soeach of us can continue to chase
what we really want to in life.
And they're just this friendwho's insanely gifted at keeping
me as an individual accountable, and I am very much that way
for them, and I say all that tosay.
(07:44):
Finding a really goodaccountability partner is tough
because without fail, somethingcomes up in the other person's
life or even your own life, andthey stop checking in with you
for one week, then two weeks,then a month, then a few months,
then the relationship justslips away.
(08:04):
So both people have to beconsistent in their checking in.
If you haven't checked in, theyshould ask you, hey, where's
that report?
And if they haven't asked youfor the report and you haven't
checked in, you need to be like,hey, why aren't you asking me
where I'm at?
Maybe you're testing them out,who really knows?
But I want to be clear here.
(08:27):
There's a reason that, like 99%of people fail on their New
Year's resolutions, and it'sbecause in consistency is
incredibly hard.
Excuses always sound great andbelievable when you start making
them up And that many timeslife doesn't want you to
accomplish things.
We're easily distracted.
I think we're more easilydistracted in this day and age
(08:47):
more than ever ever before.
Excuses.
I have a quote.
I forget who it's from, so ifyou know who it's from, let me
know.
Excuses always sound best tothe person making them up.
I look at that quote every dayand I do my best not to make up
excuses, but even I still do.
You can also convince yourselfthat you know what, what I had
(09:12):
in mind and what I thought Iwanted to accomplish in the
world of golf.
It doesn't mean that much to me, and those are lies, those are
excuses.
At one point, you really want todo accomplish it.
What changed is?
you probably figured out thatit's a little bit harder than
you thought it was going to be.
It's another excuse, and theaccountability partner is there
for a ton of reasons, but one ofthe main ones is so that when
(09:36):
you don't achieve a goal for aweek, you have to go tell
someone that you failed.
And failure, my friends, thatis a big, big part of the
process.
So that is actually the nextstep Find an accountability
partner that is consistent, thatchallenges you and isn't afraid
to speak their mind when theyfeel you can be doing better.
(09:56):
It's part of the game.
Have somebody that you canreport to.
Are you ready for the next twosteps?
They're awesome, and one isjust the best feeling ever, and
then the other is like maybe theworst feeling ever.
But balance is the key, right?
(10:17):
So should we start with theworst feeling ever or the best
feeling ever?
I don't know.
Okay, i'm gonna start with theworst feeling ever.
Let's just do it.
Then we can end on a happy note.
So I want you right now, if youcan, while you're listening
maybe you're in traffic, somaybe do it later but write down
(10:37):
with a sheet of paper, with apen.
Sit down with a sheet of paperand a pen, not a cell phone,
don't type it out on a screen.
Sit down with a pen, with paperand ask yourself this question
What would happen if I failed atmy goal?
How would you feel?
What emotions would youexperience?
(10:58):
What physical experiences wouldyou experience?
Would you let anyone down?
Could you look in the mirror ifyou let yourself down on your
golf goal?
Some can't, some can't let thatstuff go, and that's okay
because it drives them tosucceed.
Let's dig into this a little bitmore.
Let's say you're a big time.
End all be all golf goals toconsistently play in the 80s.
(11:22):
And by consistently in the 80swe're saying that you know every
eight out of 10 times you'reshooting in the 80s, but then
two out of 10 times you balloonup for like a 92.
And when I say this I meanconsistently.
That means across variousseasons you did it.
It's not just one good seasonof you doing it, it's
consistently, consistently can'tjust be one season.
(11:45):
You know If you failed thisgoal, how would you feel?
There's no right or wronganswer here, but it's in dealing
with this very importantquestion right here that I've
actually determined what I wantto pursue in life and what I
don't want to pursue.
If the answer to the question ofwhat would happen if I failed
at my goal is I think I couldhandle it.
(12:06):
Or you know what, yeah, i couldlive with myself if I failed
with my goal Somewhere along thelines of apathy, just complete.
Okay, i'm telling you now don'tpursue golf.
Golf is too expensive to beapathetic about.
It's an investment not just ofpersonal finances but of immense
(12:28):
time to master your craft.
And I would say this about anylife goal If you can live with
the answer to any goal you have,any relationship you have, just
don't even worry about thepursuit of it.
Imagine, like, spending yourlife with someone I come back to
marriage a lot And that personis like, yeah, if we end up, if
(12:51):
we end up breaking up, i'll beall right.
Like, don't spend your timewith that person.
You deserve somebody who wouldbe heartbroken if you left.
You know You want love to comeboth ways And I know a lot of
people love golf and they don'tfeel golf loves them back, which
I can relate to.
I can definitely relate to that.
(13:12):
But have a care that if you failit could break you apart in
some way.
Failure in its mostcatastrophic, in its most
catastrophic form should breakyou down.
Failure in achievement of agoal that matters is how you
know that you really reallywanna pursue it.
(13:33):
So if you find yourself beingalmost dramatic in this answer
of man, i don't think I couldlook at myself in the mirror if
I don't break 80 consistently.
Or man, i don't think I couldlook myself in the mirror if I
don't achieve fill in the blank.
That's a good thing, that's adrive.
Or if you're finding yourselfsaying it would completely break
(13:54):
me and I don't think I'd beable to live with myself Like
that's not a bad thing, pursueit.
That's how you know that youactually wanna pursue it.
Nobody in the world of golf isreal about this question anymore
.
Everybody will sit there andtake your money Well, without
ever asking you this questionand making you think about it.
What if you fail?
What would that actually meanfor you And for most successful
(14:18):
golfers that I've known and forthose who have seen the most
progress in their games.
It was almost like I'm beingexaggeratory here, but it was
almost a sense of life and death, of they couldn't have lived
with themselves if they didn'tachieve their golf goal And
that's why they continued topursue.
That's why they didn't hang upthe clubs, no matter how bad the
(14:40):
round of the practice sessionwas.
They persevered.
So that's how you know who'sgonna succeed in golf versus
who's going to quit and make upexcuses and put the clubs away
indefinitely.
So failure to me, is thegreatest teacher that we have.
It weeds out those who learnversus those who will become
discouraged and inevitably quit.
(15:01):
But for those who learn fromfailure time and time again,
they're going to succeed.
And speaking of success, thatbrings me to the final question
that you're going to need toaccomplish your goal.
So let's talk about it.
That question is what wouldhappen if I succeed at my goal?
That's the other side of thecoin.
It's failure versus success.
(15:21):
If your goal is to win atournament in golf, go ahead and
visualize yourself holding upthe trophy.
If your goal is to break 80,what would it mean to sink in or
cap in the putt from the numberon the scorecard on the 18th
hole.
What would it mean for you totake off your hat, shake your
playing partner's hands with theknowledge and the emotion that
(15:43):
you accomplished the goal thatyou set out to accomplish, that
you thought was only going totake you a year, but maybe ended
up taking seven or eight yearsto accomplish?
It's a fun question to ponder.
Would you scream?
Would you cry?
Would you celebrate?
How would you celebrate?
Who would you hug?
Who would you call first?
Who would you text first?
Would you make a social mediapost about it?
(16:03):
It's so funny to me, becausesuccess is a moment.
It's an earned moment.
That's what defines success.
It's like this beautiful,almost fleeting moment where all
the hard work that you put infor years and years comes
together and failure, in anopposite sense, many times is
actually a choice, where you sayall these bad things have
(16:27):
happened, i'm going to focus onall these bad things and I am
choosing to be done.
Success is earned.
Failure is more of a choice,and then that choice is giving
up, and that's okay as well.
But just be honest withyourself about it.
I guess that's to say is thatfailure is the moment that you
decided to give up.
Success is more a moment thatyou carved it out to make it
(16:50):
happen, and I think both areincredibly powerful tools for
success.
Success is found in saying no tothat temptation to quit over
and over and over again.
It's this utter refusal to givein to the easy way out, and I
think that's what makes successthis incredible moment to
celebrate.
(17:10):
It celebrates their own way,which makes it even more
appealing for many.
I vividly remember hearingabout the LA Lakers winning a
championship.
I forgive back, i forgive when,but I do remember Ron Arthess,
who became known as Meta WorldPeace.
He was on the roster And thefeeling of success after they
(17:35):
won the championship was soaddicting to him that he wanted
to feel it again.
It's actually like many peoplego out to the bars and they're
celebrating the NBA championship.
Meta World Peace, ron Arthesswhatever you want to call him
actually goes to the weight roomat like two in the morning and
just starts lifting again.
He wants to work out because hewants to experience holding the
(17:58):
title again the next year.
For others, success is justposting it on social media.
For others, it's going out andcelebrating or buying you and
your fellow friends some drinksat the local bar.
This is this awesome, addictivefeeling where all the hard work
pays off And once youexperience it, you want to
experience it again in a moregrandiose way.
(18:19):
You want to achieve the nextgoal And you should envision
those things happening in yourhead as often as you can.
So I want to tell you again.
Write these things down and theanswers to them Who is your
accountability partner and whythem?
What would happen if you failedat your goal?
What will happen when yousuccessfully achieve your goal?
(18:40):
Those are the three questions.
Answer them as honestly and asdetailed as possible, and when
you do that, that will be thechange you need to see in your
golf game.
That's going to make it allworth it in the end.
Because you took the time to doall the hard work, you now know
why you're going to the rangeand dropping so much money into
time hitting little white golfballs.
(19:02):
You know why it's okay to goout there and completely unravel
in the middle of a round andplay poorly, because you know
it's for a greater good.
And you know why you werewaking up early the next day to
get in a workout.
Put that bad round behind youand begin to move forward
immediately.
You don't meditate on the badround.
(19:23):
You see, reporting to theaccountability partner isn't
about reporting the fact thatyou had a bad round.
It's reporting the fact thatyou played the round and the
score doesn't matter.
That, yeah, that day, let'sjust say your goal is to break
80 that day, or that's, yourlong term goal is to break 80.
Reporting to youraccountability partner that, hey
(19:45):
, i shot a 92.
I didn't break 80 today.
That didn't even come close.
It's about the fact that youwent out there and you played.
It's not reporting that youachieved the goal, it's just
reporting that you played around of golf and because of
that round of golf, you're alittle bit closer to breaking 80
, a little bit more consistently.
Right, that's the thing isthat's the thing that we're
(20:08):
talking about in the firstepisode is, in order to achieve
that long term goal, you have tohave many goals along the way,
and if you're out there playinga round of golf, just because
you shot 92 doesn't mean you'reworse at golf that day.
What it means is you had anopportunity to stay at home like
be a bum because you worked a40 hour, 60 hour job during the
(20:29):
week and you could have justrelaxed and you said you know
what?
No, i'm going to go chase thisgoal this weekend.
I'm going to get out there and,no matter what the score is,
i'm going to get out and playbecause at least at some point
in that round I've hit a shotthat I can file away in the
memory bank and I can come backto that shot.
So that's the purpose of theaccountability partner as well
(20:49):
is reporting why you went outthere and, hey, i didn't achieve
it, but I definitely got outand played And that's part of
the journey.
My final point that is probablythe most important, important
point of the entire podcast isafter you do all this work,
after you've answered all thequestions, after you've done the
reverse engineering, afteryou've done the accountability
(21:12):
partner, post this stuffsomewhere where you will see it
daily.
Write down your goals, writedown the answers to the
questions.
Put them in your mirror in thebathroom, put it around some
tape.
Put it in the mirror.
Remind yourself of the longterm goal every freaking day.
Remind yourself of the mini,the little, miniature goals
(21:36):
that's going to take you to getthere.
Remind yourself to check inwith your accountability partner
.
Remind yourself that failure isa part of it and it's a big
part of it, because if you don't, i'm telling you you will
forget.
If you've agreed with all I'vesaid so far, and even if it's
not all of it, if you've agreedwith some of it or most of it,
trust me on this one I won't letyou down.
(21:59):
And again, coming back tomarriage, do you remember
exactly everything you said inyour vows on your wedding day?
You definitely don't.
For my non-married people outthere who've only been in
relationships or just hadfriendships or something like
(22:19):
that, have you ever madeyourself a promise or promised
something to another person andbroken it?
And it's not that youintentionally broke it, it's
just because you forgot.
We forget things all the time.
Like I said, we are a very shortterm society, especially in
America these days.
The same is true here.
Remind yourself or you willforget.
(22:41):
Remind yourself every day ofthe challenge that lies ahead,
and that's it.
Do the homework.
Remind yourself of the homeworkthat you've done.
And now go forth and achieveevery single goal you have.
In the game of golf, you gotthe secret formula There's
nobody else at the range who'sdared to think about these
(23:01):
things that you are putting inthe time to think about Go forth
and break it.
Go forth and achieve the goal.
Go forth and do what you saidyou're going to set out to do,
because now that you know whyyou're there and you have
somebody keeping you accountableother than yourself, big things
are now possible.
That's my spiel, and I think itwould be something that would
(23:24):
help a lot of golfers to sitdown and do this work, because
you will see nothing but thebenefits of it.
And one of these days, if you doa podcast on short term versus
long term golfers, there's a bigdifference because failure
affects them both verydifferently.
But I will say that for anotherday.
I hope you guys enjoyed thisone.
(23:45):
Share it to a friend.
I think this is some of themost impactful podcasting we've
ever done on the topic, becauseit is just so many golfers try
it and then give up because theyrealize how hard it is.
Keep yourself accountable andyou can do great things, not
just in the world of golf, butin life.
It's the same formula I useevery single time.
(24:08):
So have a great day.
Thank you for joining me andthank you for supporting the
podcast.
It always means the world.
Take care Bye.
Setting goals podcast part two coming up, but first
announcements, hello, hello.
Welcome to the announcementssection for the week.
If you've not yet followed uson social media, we are at my
pure golf, at M Y P?
U R E GOLF.
(00:21):
Across all the major platformsTiktok, facebook, instagram,
youtube you know all the usualones that almost everybody's on.
If you could give us a followor you want to interact with
some of the posts by commentingor liking, it is always beyond
Appreciated.
We are posting content inshorts every single day on
social media and then one longervideo per week on the YouTube
(00:43):
channel.
Furthermore, if you aren'tsubscribed to the podcast,
please subscribe.
We want to continue to put thebest content out there.
We can help golfersconsistently break 80 and if
you're looking for ways to helpus out, following or subscribing
to the podcast helps us.
So so, so much.
Then, if you want to take it tothe next level of support,
(01:06):
leave us a rating or even areview on Spotify or Apple
podcast, and it actually helpsthe podcast For potential
listeners in the future.
For, for those who want to readthe reviews, say what you love
in that review.
Give us your success story.
We want to hear it all.
We're still figuring out thiswhole podcast thing and how
often we're gonna post For alittle bit.
(01:29):
So give us just a little timeto figure that out.
I know for a fact that we willbe posting a new podcast every
Friday.
I'll keep you updated on that.
But anyways, thanks so much forlistening and now back to the
podcast.
(01:51):
Welcome back to the podcast.
For starters, i gotta say Wegot some great feedback on last
week's episode.
So if you haven't listened topart one of this chain of
episodes, go back and listen toit before you start into this
episode.
It's literally the episodebefore this that we posted and
it's the beginning to all thechanges that you need to make in
(02:11):
your golf game to begin findingsuccess.
For those who did listen And ifyou're, you know, just not
gonna go back and listen to partone Let me summarize what we
covered last, last episode, justto jog your memory a little bit
.
The reason most golfers fail isbecause most golfers are really
(02:32):
Really bad at goal setting.
Actually like comically badGolfers get really down on
themselves for not accomplishingtheir big, massive goal as
quickly as they quote unquoteshould, without taking into
account just how many hundreds,if not thousands of little
Miniature goals there are alongthe way to begin reaching that
(02:53):
huge Long-term goal, that thatmountain you're trying to climb.
So we talked a little bit ofreverse engineering.
We talked how to set goals inand then asking yourself a
pretty massive question in well,why is this important to me All
?
right, now that you're allcaught up, i Hope that's a good
(03:14):
enough of a summary of lastweek's episode.
It was about a 20-minute episode, but let's dig into the new
stuff today, and some of thisstuff is really challenging.
It's meant to challenge you.
It's stuff that you reallydon't want to think about, but
you've got to today.
You've got to be realistic andyou've got to hold yourself
accountable.
And Speaking of accountability,that's the next step.
(03:38):
Who is going to hold youaccountable to do the things
that you say you're going to do,both on and off the golf course
?
You need an accountabilitypartner if you're going to
achieve all that you want to doin the game of golf.
Let's just clear something upright away your accountability
partner Does not I repeat, doesnot have to be a fellow golfer.
(04:00):
I will say it one more timeYour accountability partner does
not have to be a fellow golfer.
Sometimes it certainly doeshelp if your accountability
partner is a golfer, becauseit's someone that you can meet
at the driving range Or meet atthe golf course and talk through
things with, and who can watchyou and help you, who you can
(04:20):
even compete with on the journeyof bettering yourself in the
game of golf.
However, there's also thatdownside that you may feel like
you have to schedule your dayAnd your practice around them
and their schedule, and a lot oftimes it's that's very hard for
for golfers, and and if youreally, if you don't want to
find yourself competing againstsomeone or comparing yourself to
(04:42):
someone on the road to successin golf, maybe you don't need a
golfing accountability partner.
Maybe golf is going to be moreof your own solo journey.
So I've had plenty of playerswho would say that they're a
significant other, meaning theirpartner, who they've chosen to
marry, who they've chosen tospend their lives with, is
(05:03):
actually their accountabilitypartner in the game of golf.
I've taught some women alongthe way, but for the men, a lot
of them actually look to theirwives or their partners to make
sure that they're getting outand practicing what they say.
They're going to practice, andmaybe that's about making time
to the schedule.
So one of them is covering thekids, or really it can be any
reason at all.
However, on the search for thataccountability partner, well,
(05:28):
however, on the search for thataccountability partner, i think
it needs to be someone that willsay from time to time, because
it's going to happen, hey, yougot to do a little bit better
here.
We need you to do a little bitbetter because you got to reach
that goal.
Or that accountability partnerneeds to be willing to ask the
hard questions that are going toincentivize you to get better,
(05:52):
so you're not running stale allthe time.
I always recommend weeklycheck-ins with your
accountability partner where yousay, hey, on this day, this
time, every single week, i'mgoing to get you a report of how
I did, and there's not going tobe any excuses behind it.
And if there are excuses, youraccountability partner.
(06:13):
I'm really struggling.
I need accountability forsaying the word accountability.
If there are excuses, youraccountability partner should be
willing to shoot them down,unless it is for a dang good
reason that you didn't do it yousaid you were going to do for
the week.
In life, i've had many peopleattempt to be my accountability
partner and I've been asked tobe it along the way as well, and
(06:37):
every single one of mine hasfailed.
And when I found the one thatdidn't fail me nor did I really
fail them I kept them around andasked them to continue to be
that role in my life.
And we've never really strayed.
We've asked each other really,really tough questions.
We've sat down to evolve ouraccountability program with each
(07:02):
other of how can we do itbetter, what makes it more
efficient, but also what makesit tougher, because it doesn't
always need to be easy, but whatmakes that accountability
relationship really make youwant to become better at
building your craft?
And every so often we've saidthat we need to make this
(07:22):
accountability thing go deeperand better.
So we go back to the drawingboard and figure out how to make
this relationship better Soeach of us can continue to chase
what we really want to in life.
And they're just this friendwho's insanely gifted at keeping
me as an individual accountable, and I am very much that way
for them, and I say all that tosay.
(07:44):
Finding a really goodaccountability partner is tough
because without fail, somethingcomes up in the other person's
life or even your own life, andthey stop checking in with you
for one week, then two weeks,then a month, then a few months,
then the relationship justslips away.
(08:04):
So both people have to beconsistent in their checking in.
If you haven't checked in, theyshould ask you, hey, where's
that report?
And if they haven't asked youfor the report and you haven't
checked in, you need to be like,hey, why aren't you asking me
where I'm at?
Maybe you're testing them out,who really knows?
But I want to be clear here.
(08:27):
There's a reason that, like 99%of people fail on their New
Year's resolutions, and it'sbecause in consistency is
incredibly hard.
Excuses always sound great andbelievable when you start making
them up And that many timeslife doesn't want you to
accomplish things.
We're easily distracted.
I think we're more easilydistracted in this day and age
(08:47):
more than ever ever before.
Excuses.
I have a quote.
I forget who it's from, so ifyou know who it's from, let me
know.
Excuses always sound best tothe person making them up.
I look at that quote every dayand I do my best not to make up
excuses, but even I still do.
You can also convince yourselfthat you know what, what I had
(09:12):
in mind and what I thought Iwanted to accomplish in the
world of golf.
It doesn't mean that much to me, and those are lies, those are
excuses.
At one point, you really want todo accomplish it.
What changed is?
you probably figured out thatit's a little bit harder than
you thought it was going to be.
It's another excuse, and theaccountability partner is there
for a ton of reasons, but one ofthe main ones is so that when
(09:36):
you don't achieve a goal for aweek, you have to go tell
someone that you failed.
And failure, my friends, thatis a big, big part of the
process.
So that is actually the nextstep Find an accountability
partner that is consistent, thatchallenges you and isn't afraid
to speak their mind when theyfeel you can be doing better.
(09:56):
It's part of the game.
Have somebody that you canreport to.
Are you ready for the next twosteps?
They're awesome, and one isjust the best feeling ever, and
then the other is like maybe theworst feeling ever.
But balance is the key, right?
(10:17):
So should we start with theworst feeling ever or the best
feeling ever?
I don't know.
Okay, i'm gonna start with theworst feeling ever.
Let's just do it.
Then we can end on a happy note.
So I want you right now, if youcan, while you're listening
maybe you're in traffic, somaybe do it later but write down
(10:37):
with a sheet of paper, with apen.
Sit down with a sheet of paperand a pen, not a cell phone,
don't type it out on a screen.
Sit down with a pen, with paperand ask yourself this question
What would happen if I failed atmy goal?
How would you feel?
What emotions would youexperience?
(10:58):
What physical experiences wouldyou experience?
Would you let anyone down?
Could you look in the mirror ifyou let yourself down on your
golf goal?
Some can't, some can't let thatstuff go, and that's okay
because it drives them tosucceed.
Let's dig into this a little bitmore.
Let's say you're a big time.
End all be all golf goals toconsistently play in the 80s.
(11:22):
And by consistently in the 80swe're saying that you know every
eight out of 10 times you'reshooting in the 80s, but then
two out of 10 times you balloonup for like a 92.
And when I say this I meanconsistently.
That means across variousseasons you did it.
It's not just one good seasonof you doing it, it's
consistently, consistently can'tjust be one season.
(11:45):
You know If you failed thisgoal, how would you feel?
There's no right or wronganswer here, but it's in dealing
with this very importantquestion right here that I've
actually determined what I wantto pursue in life and what I
don't want to pursue.
If the answer to the question ofwhat would happen if I failed
at my goal is I think I couldhandle it.
(12:06):
Or you know what, yeah, i couldlive with myself if I failed
with my goal Somewhere along thelines of apathy, just complete.
Okay, i'm telling you now don'tpursue golf.
Golf is too expensive to beapathetic about.
It's an investment not just ofpersonal finances but of immense
(12:28):
time to master your craft.
And I would say this about anylife goal If you can live with
the answer to any goal you have,any relationship you have, just
don't even worry about thepursuit of it.
Imagine, like, spending yourlife with someone I come back to
marriage a lot And that personis like, yeah, if we end up, if
(12:51):
we end up breaking up, i'll beall right.
Like, don't spend your timewith that person.
You deserve somebody who wouldbe heartbroken if you left.
You know You want love to comeboth ways And I know a lot of
people love golf and they don'tfeel golf loves them back, which
I can relate to.
I can definitely relate to that.
(13:12):
But have a care that if you failit could break you apart in
some way.
Failure in its mostcatastrophic, in its most
catastrophic form should breakyou down.
Failure in achievement of agoal that matters is how you
know that you really reallywanna pursue it.
(13:33):
So if you find yourself beingalmost dramatic in this answer
of man, i don't think I couldlook at myself in the mirror if
I don't break 80 consistently.
Or man, i don't think I couldlook myself in the mirror if I
don't achieve fill in the blank.
That's a good thing, that's adrive.
Or if you're finding yourselfsaying it would completely break
(13:54):
me and I don't think I'd beable to live with myself Like
that's not a bad thing, pursueit.
That's how you know that youactually wanna pursue it.
Nobody in the world of golf isreal about this question anymore
.
Everybody will sit there andtake your money Well, without
ever asking you this questionand making you think about it.
What if you fail?
What would that actually meanfor you And for most successful
(14:18):
golfers that I've known and forthose who have seen the most
progress in their games.
It was almost like I'm beingexaggeratory here, but it was
almost a sense of life and death, of they couldn't have lived
with themselves if they didn'tachieve their golf goal And
that's why they continued topursue.
That's why they didn't hang upthe clubs, no matter how bad the
(14:40):
round of the practice sessionwas.
They persevered.
So that's how you know who'sgonna succeed in golf versus
who's going to quit and make upexcuses and put the clubs away
indefinitely.
So failure to me, is thegreatest teacher that we have.
It weeds out those who learnversus those who will become
discouraged and inevitably quit.
(15:01):
But for those who learn fromfailure time and time again,
they're going to succeed.
And speaking of success, thatbrings me to the final question
that you're going to need toaccomplish your goal.
So let's talk about it.
That question is what wouldhappen if I succeed at my goal?
That's the other side of thecoin.
It's failure versus success.
(15:21):
If your goal is to win atournament in golf, go ahead and
visualize yourself holding upthe trophy.
If your goal is to break 80,what would it mean to sink in or
cap in the putt from the numberon the scorecard on the 18th
hole.
What would it mean for you totake off your hat, shake your
playing partner's hands with theknowledge and the emotion that
(15:43):
you accomplished the goal thatyou set out to accomplish, that
you thought was only going totake you a year, but maybe ended
up taking seven or eight yearsto accomplish?
It's a fun question to ponder.
Would you scream?
Would you cry?
Would you celebrate?
How would you celebrate?
Who would you hug?
Who would you call first?
Who would you text first?
Would you make a social mediapost about it?
(16:03):
It's so funny to me, becausesuccess is a moment.
It's an earned moment.
That's what defines success.
It's like this beautiful,almost fleeting moment where all
the hard work that you put infor years and years comes
together and failure, in anopposite sense, many times is
actually a choice, where you sayall these bad things have
(16:27):
happened, i'm going to focus onall these bad things and I am
choosing to be done.
Success is earned.
Failure is more of a choice,and then that choice is giving
up, and that's okay as well.
But just be honest withyourself about it.
I guess that's to say is thatfailure is the moment that you
decided to give up.
Success is more a moment thatyou carved it out to make it
(16:50):
happen, and I think both areincredibly powerful tools for
success.
Success is found in saying no tothat temptation to quit over
and over and over again.
It's this utter refusal to givein to the easy way out, and I
think that's what makes successthis incredible moment to
celebrate.
(17:10):
It celebrates their own way,which makes it even more
appealing for many.
I vividly remember hearingabout the LA Lakers winning a
championship.
I forgive back, i forgive when,but I do remember Ron Arthess,
who became known as Meta WorldPeace.
He was on the roster And thefeeling of success after they
(17:35):
won the championship was soaddicting to him that he wanted
to feel it again.
It's actually like many peoplego out to the bars and they're
celebrating the NBA championship.
Meta World Peace, ron Arthesswhatever you want to call him
actually goes to the weight roomat like two in the morning and
just starts lifting again.
He wants to work out because hewants to experience holding the
(17:58):
title again the next year.
For others, success is justposting it on social media.
For others, it's going out andcelebrating or buying you and
your fellow friends some drinksat the local bar.
This is this awesome, addictivefeeling where all the hard work
pays off And once youexperience it, you want to
experience it again in a moregrandiose way.
(18:19):
You want to achieve the nextgoal And you should envision
those things happening in yourhead as often as you can.
So I want to tell you again.
Write these things down and theanswers to them Who is your
accountability partner and whythem?
What would happen if you failedat your goal?
What will happen when yousuccessfully achieve your goal?
(18:40):
Those are the three questions.
Answer them as honestly and asdetailed as possible, and when
you do that, that will be thechange you need to see in your
golf game.
That's going to make it allworth it in the end.
Because you took the time to doall the hard work, you now know
why you're going to the rangeand dropping so much money into
time hitting little white golfballs.
(19:02):
You know why it's okay to goout there and completely unravel
in the middle of a round andplay poorly, because you know
it's for a greater good.
And you know why you werewaking up early the next day to
get in a workout.
Put that bad round behind youand begin to move forward
immediately.
You don't meditate on the badround.
(19:23):
You see, reporting to theaccountability partner isn't
about reporting the fact thatyou had a bad round.
It's reporting the fact thatyou played the round and the
score doesn't matter.
That, yeah, that day, let'sjust say your goal is to break
80 that day, or that's, yourlong term goal is to break 80.
Reporting to youraccountability partner that, hey
(19:45):
, i shot a 92.
I didn't break 80 today.
That didn't even come close.
It's about the fact that youwent out there and you played.
It's not reporting that youachieved the goal, it's just
reporting that you played around of golf and because of
that round of golf, you're alittle bit closer to breaking 80
, a little bit more consistently.
Right, that's the thing isthat's the thing that we're
(20:08):
talking about in the firstepisode is, in order to achieve
that long term goal, you have tohave many goals along the way,
and if you're out there playinga round of golf, just because
you shot 92 doesn't mean you'reworse at golf that day.
What it means is you had anopportunity to stay at home like
be a bum because you worked a40 hour, 60 hour job during the
(20:29):
week and you could have justrelaxed and you said you know
what?
No, i'm going to go chase thisgoal this weekend.
I'm going to get out there and,no matter what the score is,
i'm going to get out and playbecause at least at some point
in that round I've hit a shotthat I can file away in the
memory bank and I can come backto that shot.
So that's the purpose of theaccountability partner as well
(20:49):
is reporting why you went outthere and, hey, i didn't achieve
it, but I definitely got outand played And that's part of
the journey.
My final point that is probablythe most important, important
point of the entire podcast isafter you do all this work,
after you've answered all thequestions, after you've done the
reverse engineering, afteryou've done the accountability
(21:12):
partner, post this stuffsomewhere where you will see it
daily.
Write down your goals, writedown the answers to the
questions.
Put them in your mirror in thebathroom, put it around some
tape.
Put it in the mirror.
Remind yourself of the longterm goal every freaking day.
Remind yourself of the mini,the little, miniature goals
(21:36):
that's going to take you to getthere.
Remind yourself to check inwith your accountability partner
.
Remind yourself that failure isa part of it and it's a big
part of it, because if you don't, i'm telling you you will
forget.
If you've agreed with all I'vesaid so far, and even if it's
not all of it, if you've agreedwith some of it or most of it,
trust me on this one I won't letyou down.
(21:59):
And again, coming back tomarriage, do you remember
exactly everything you said inyour vows on your wedding day?
You definitely don't.
For my non-married people outthere who've only been in
relationships or just hadfriendships or something like
(22:19):
that, have you ever madeyourself a promise or promised
something to another person andbroken it?
And it's not that youintentionally broke it, it's
just because you forgot.
We forget things all the time.
Like I said, we are a very shortterm society, especially in
America these days.
The same is true here.
Remind yourself or you willforget.
(22:41):
Remind yourself every day ofthe challenge that lies ahead,
and that's it.
Do the homework.
Remind yourself of the homeworkthat you've done.
And now go forth and achieveevery single goal you have.
In the game of golf, you gotthe secret formula There's
nobody else at the range who'sdared to think about these
(23:01):
things that you are putting inthe time to think about Go forth
and break it.
Go forth and achieve the goal.
Go forth and do what you saidyou're going to set out to do,
because now that you know whyyou're there and you have
somebody keeping you accountableother than yourself, big things
are now possible.
That's my spiel, and I think itwould be something that would
(23:24):
help a lot of golfers to sitdown and do this work, because
you will see nothing but thebenefits of it.
And one of these days, if you doa podcast on short term versus
long term golfers, there's a bigdifference because failure
affects them both verydifferently.
But I will say that for anotherday.
I hope you guys enjoyed thisone.
(23:45):
Share it to a friend.
I think this is some of themost impactful podcasting we've
ever done on the topic, becauseit is just so many golfers try
it and then give up because theyrealize how hard it is.
Keep yourself accountable andyou can do great things, not
just in the world of golf, butin life.
It's the same formula I useevery single time.
(24:08):
So have a great day.
Thank you for joining me andthank you for supporting the
podcast.
It always means the world.
Take care Bye.
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