Ep. 32 - Navigating Intimacy Binds: How We Get Stuck in Relationships

Episode Summary
Ever felt like you and your partner are stuck in a loop—each waiting for the other to go first? That’s a bind, and it shows up in relationships far more often than you might think.

In this episode of Zessions, hosts Mandi Roarke, LMFT, and Dr. Sapna Srivastava sit down with returning guest Kendall Campbell, LMFT, to unpack the concept of binds—specifically intimacy binds, initiation binds, and the classic double bind.

We explore:

• Why binds create that “trapped” or “paralyzed” feeling in relationships
• How life transitions, shifting needs, and status quo patterns set the stage for them
• Why emotional safety—not just comfort—is key to breaking free
• The difference between massive change and small, sustainable “micro-moves”
• When direct prescriptions from a therapist can help get things moving again

Whether you’re a therapist, a partner, or someone reflecting on your own relationships, this conversation will help you spot binds in action and give you a starting point for shifting them.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• The anatomy of a bind — what it is and how it plays out in everyday life.
• Intimacy binds vs. initiation binds vs. double binds — and how to tell them apart.
• The role of status quo in keeping couples stuck.
• How novelty and micro-changes can help disrupt entrenched patterns.
• Why safety and comfort are not the same thing in relationship work.
• Practical ways to start creating momentum—without overwhelming yourself or your partner.

Key Quotes from this Episode

“When you’re in a bind, you can want the relationship to work, you can even know exactly what needs to change—but it feels like you can’t move without your partner moving first.”

“Binds aren’t just about needs—they’re about safety. I’ll only hand you the water if I trust it won’t be poisoned.”

“You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to break a bind. Sometimes it’s just about tweaking the routines you already have.”

Resources & Links

• Learn more about Kendall Campbell, LMFT – KendallCampbell.com
• Follow Zessio on Instagram | TikTok | YouTube
• Explore more mental health resources at Zessio.com

Listen & Subscribe
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