The Spiritually Misaligned “Relationship Plan”

Wanna Make GOD Laugh? In this episode we want to discuss obtaining what you had painstakingly planned for, yet still being misaligned with your spirit’s plan for you.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Two different pages and we were just coasting.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
So just just before you move on. I think because
our goals did not align, there were miss there were misaligned.
I think that caused the stagnation, that caused the vicious cycle,
right because it was almost it's almost like, well, if
we have a goal that by year two we're going

(00:25):
to be moving and working towards marriage, working towards potentially
looking seeing what being in Andrews together as a couple
would look like. Those were the conversations that we did
not have because again I didn't feel like I needed
to keep bringing it up because it was just like,

(00:46):
why should I keep bringing it up? But I definitely
knew that if we from the beginning had those goals
in place, we can kind of check in and say, hey,
we didn't meet these goals, we didn't reach these goals.
What's happening.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Achieving socially acceptable relationship goals will not heal your soul.
Somebody told you that as a relationship we could win,

(01:24):
and by winning socially we can bypass the internal work.
All we gotta do is stick to the plan. Who's
the author of the plan? Your self avoidance? All I

(01:45):
gotta do is win. All I gotta do is win
in the world, and then the world will be my oyster.
Do you know how many people are wealthy and internally
broken and you see it in their lives regardless of
what they've accumulated socially. Hmm, we a team, were gonna

(02:11):
work together. Yes, let me tell you something about society.
Society is about plans. Relationships are about alignment, acceptance, individuation, healing. Right, huh, yeah,
you get into a relationship. It's not about getting what

(02:33):
you want. That's for society. You live in a capitalist,
consumer based society. Even your marriage is set up on Hey,
there's holidays, there's birthdays. You know, you work, you put
that we pay you for your time. You guys form

(02:54):
a family business called a marriage, and then you put
that money back into the system based on Oh, we
gotta go to we gotta go to home goods and
get some stuff for the house. And oh, you know,
the house broke down. Everything's based on obseless, It's easy
to follow that plan. The sink doesn't work, okay, we

(03:17):
got to get another sink. The garbage disposal broke, Oh,
we gotta go get another garbage. Society is a machine,
a well oiled machine, and if you do good enough
in society, what do you have seventy eight years? That

(03:39):
part is easy. Spirit relationships all of this right, it's
a bigger a bigger purpose for it. And many of
us think if we get our ish together, right will

(04:01):
be okay. Nah, your ish is inside tonight's topic, want
to make God laugh? The spiritually misaligned relationship blueprint true
or false? Sometimes our best plans for our future relationships

(04:22):
are simply misaligned with Spirits purpose for our growth. And
then we choose our plan over Spirit's design for our growth.
Then we find ourselves stuck like someone in prison, waiting
for the Spirit to release us into life's next lesson. Yes,

(04:46):
that's what relationships are. Lessons curriculum, self curriculum. Yes, we
mismanage that curriculum by trying to check up on our
partner's work as if their work is our work because
we're in a relationship. No, your work needs to be

(05:07):
completed by you before you can go tutor your partner.
Your partner might have a totally different lesson plan, a
totally different syllabus within the same relationship. Oh No. In
this episode, we want to discuss obtaining what you had

(05:30):
painstakingly planned for yet still being misaligned with spirits planned
for you. Oh yeah, you put in a lot of work.
Oh you had your friends, vetim you took it to
see your mama. Oh yeah, painstaking effort to make sure

(05:55):
they're right. But they can't be right if you're not right. Oh,
you think you can beat the system. You think you
can beat the system. Do you want to make God laugh? Ah?
Let me tell you. The best comedy for God is
your plans. Huh. God is at the improv when you

(06:20):
plan it, especially if you're not tapped into God within you,
if you haven't healed, God is at the improv watching you,
and God is rolling having a good old time. This
is my favorite comedian right here, this one right here.
They think they know everything. Watch this. They they're finna

(06:42):
plan it out again. What one eight hundred ninety twenty
fifteen eighty want to make God laugh? Tell them your plans.
You've heard that old euphemism, that old adage, that old axiom.
You've heard it. In a world where unhealed wounds, this

(07:06):
is gonna hurt. Are you all ready for this? In
reality where unhealed wound based meticulously crafted relationship blueprints collide
with unfolding divine design. Our deepest longings are often betrayed
by the unintegrated shadow. Self Ego driven fantasies and unresolved

(07:33):
trauma form a crucible that distorts authentic intimacy, leaving many
partnerships misaligned with our higher spiritual purpose. Have you got
it all? Did you get it all? Did you get
the height? Did you get the skin tone? Did you
get the job? Did he have the degree? Did he

(07:54):
have the career? Did you get it all? And found
out it wasn't enough? Was she beautiful? I mean everything
about She had that voice, you like, she had that waste,
She had everything in place. She was kind, she was careful.
But something was missing, something was off, something was misaligned.

(08:22):
Have you been there?

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Nine?

Speaker 1 (08:26):
This misalignment reveals that our unacknowledged dark side are hidden
wounds and suppressed desires play a central role in sabotaging relationships.
As divine timing disrupts our carefully engineered ideals, the integration

(08:47):
of the shadow becomes essential to to dissolve false contracts
and reclaim internal wholeness. Embracing vulnerability and surrendering to uncertainty,
we begin to transform heartbreak into a sacred process of
self annihilation and rebirth, liberating ourselves from a trend. Excuse me,

(09:14):
transcendental union with purpose and cosmic alignment. Now this is
heavy because nobody wants to talk about this. You heard
me talk about it on previous shows. I said, if
you're writing your business contract, a friend of mine, you know,
shared this with me. She said, if you're writing your

(09:36):
business contract and you're writing it from a place of fear,
you're actually writing fear into the contract. Well, imagine if
your unhealed wounds are actually behind the blueprint for your relationship,
the plans you're making. Could that be problematic? Could that
be equally as problematic as writing fear into your business plan?

(10:06):
Embracing vulnerability and surrendering to uncertainty, we begin to transform
heartbreak into a sacred process of self annihilation and rebirth,
liberating ourselves for a transcendental union with purpose and cosmic alignment.
Sometimes the relentless pursuit of what you think you want

(10:29):
exposes a harrowing truth. Your unresolved wounds are covertly dictating
your every decision. Clinical research substantiates that early trauma encoded
within limbic circuits hijacks our cognitive processes, ensuring that every

(10:54):
choice echoes a familiar pattern of past abuse and neglect
or betrayal. What are you saying? So, yes, we go
out and we date betrayal. We plan for it. We
go out and we date the abuser. We date the
person who's going to neglect us. We actually choose them.

(11:18):
We rode it into the plan. How do you know
what you want for yourself is actually wanting right your
highest good? What if what you want is not actually
wanting your highest good? Far beyond sanitize self help rhetoric,

(11:47):
this reality demands that we confront our unintegrated shadow, the
metaphysical repository of rejected, suppressed parts of ourselves, with uncompromising intensity.
In metaphysical terms, the shadow encompasses the doormat. Are y'all

(12:11):
listening to me? I got my people out here, My
people are in the chat right now. We got people
from all over the country. I want to encourage everybody
who's listening to this show, please please please get to
your phone lines, because I know we've done it before.
We have plans, we thought it was gonna work. Your
plans are not his plans the source. I don't want

(12:35):
to get all religious, you know, I'm not a huge
religious guy, but I do believe that there is a
divine intelligence that created it all, that maintains it all,
that has a purpose for all. Now you might call
it something else, and I may call it something, but
I think we agree that it's infinite. It's one. It
is the source of everything, and it is infinitely aware

(12:58):
and has purpose for all of its creation. Very interesting
in metaphysical terms, the shadow encompasses the dormant, untamed energies
and truths that challenges the egos illusory control, dictating a

(13:23):
predetermined script of reenactment. You mean to tell me, everybody
I choose is a reenactment of what hurt me, and
that's going to happen like groundhog Day until I go
within and annihilate who I think I am. Only by

(13:49):
consciously and courageously integrating these dark forces. As clinical evidence
and ancient wisdom affirm, can we subvert our neuro so conditioning.
This radical integration transformed can transforms compulsive patterns into a
foundation for authentic, curious evolution, providing a logically unassailable pathway

(14:18):
from the tyranny of past pain to the liberation of
a truly self determined future. When we come forward, the
voice of reason going to ask a serious question, how
many times have your plans failed you? And what did

(14:38):
you learn?

Speaker 4 (14:39):
The lack of certainty is what actually makes it worth it.
And so here's my point. Let's think. Let's consider the alternative,
which is that you are on the path and you
are guaranteed to know that you're going to get the outcome.
All of the mystery is gone. There is no excitement,
which is why they said, you know, in the ancient
Romans or sorry, the ancient Greeks would say that the
god gods always envied the mortals because their life was

(15:02):
so ephemerald, they had so much chance that could happen
to them, right where the gods always knew that they
weren't going to die and it was completely guaranteed. And
so what we do is we basically have this wish
that if it actually came true, we would hate it
even more than our current circumstance. If you knew that
you were going to succeed, it wouldn't be worth doing
to begin with. The fact that you are uncertain when
you start is what makes it worthwhile, and the fallacy

(15:25):
of being in the pursuit is the worry or the
concern that it won't amount to anything, because who you
were becoming is the thing that you are amounting to
in real time every day. This was something that mack
Manson tweeted. He put it in his news.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Lie and that that was grown up talk right there.
Grown up relationships understand. Man, ain't no plan. There's not
there's not going to always be a plan. You're gonna
have to adjust.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Doctor alan Berger says, you have to adjust from being
up close and personal. Sometimes you have to make adjustment
right at close range. And you can't have a plan
for everything. So uncertainty is part of a healthy relationship. Oh,
it has to be. In my twenty nineteen book The

(16:16):
Holographic Relationship, I take Warner Heisenberg's principle, the uncertainty principle,
and apply it to relationships. So it's very interesting, all
these years later we are hearing people talk about and
not to say they hadn't talked about it before, but
it's interesting to hear them talk about the need for uncertainty.

(16:40):
Uncertainty is part of the relationship. Whenever you're dealing with
somebody who has to be in control, who has to
have control, It has to be on their terms. You
can tell that they're dealing with deep seated issues that
have been suppressed or repressed that they haven't dealt with period,
point blank range. Now, I've been having discussions with a

(17:04):
whole bunch of you know, clinicians, psychologists of course, and
even I have a friend that's a psychiatrist, and again
they offer me these different perspectives. For this particular show.
We've got questions from doctor Stacy on this topic, and

(17:27):
it encapsulates the topic perfectly. Have you ever pursued a
relationship or dating path that looked right on paper but
felt off in your spirit? What did you learn from
that experience? What are some signs that your relationship goals

(17:53):
might be spiritually misaligned with your higher purpose or values?
What role does ego play in holding on to plans, people,
or timelines that God or the universe, whatever name you use,
may be asking you to release? Alternatively, have you ever

(18:18):
clung to a relationship because of a timeline, ideal, money,
or pressure even when you knew it wasn't right. What
help you let go? What fears come up when you
realize you should let go of a relationship that you
thought was the one. How do you navigate that grief

(18:44):
or loss? In what ways? Have you confused spiritual alignment
with emotional attachment or physical chemistry? Huh? Listen? You think
you know your university, your syllabus, and your spiritual game

(19:09):
plan better than God? It's God who put you with
that person?

Speaker 5 (19:13):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Oh yeah, determinism, y'all want to talk about it? How
do you stay open to divine guidance in your love
life without becoming paralyzed by overthinking or fear of missing
the mark? When I come forward the voice of reason

(19:34):
going to the phone lines because people wont to talk.

Speaker 6 (19:38):
If you're someone with a history of trauma, complex childhood trauma,
if you had to start in life where you felt unprotected, abandoned,
or unseen, one thing you should definitely do for yourself
is to rewire your newer pathways, to shift the baseline
of your nervous system by actively reparenting yourself. I also

(19:58):
want to say.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
About slow down. She's talking too fast and she has
some very complicated issues or skills tools right, hold tight,
young lady. I would say, listen to what she's saying,
take notes and then go to a therapist and ask

(20:20):
questions about what she's saying, or even book a session
with a therapist and play this for her. Like is
any of this because let me just say, it's very
difficult to recognize within your broken self. Hey, I gotta
go reparent myself. You might need some help, right, you know,

(20:46):
somebody's got to give you a teach you how to
first teach you that those tools exist, and then teach
you how to use them. Right, play it again from
the top, because she was talking real fast.

Speaker 6 (20:57):
If you're someone with a history of trauma, complex childhood trauma,
if you had the start in life where you felt unprotected, abandoned,
or unseen, one thing you should definitely do for yourself
is to rewire your neural pathways, to shift the baseline
of your nervous system by actively reparenting yourself. I also

(21:17):
want to say this abandonment isn't always intentional. It can
be caused by the death of a primary presence in
your life, or maybe they were ill the entire time,
So even though the absence wasn't anyone's fault per SAE,
the impact is still the same. Listen for many of us.
Something we experience a lot on our healing journeys is
this instinct to first deny, down play, or even justify

(21:40):
our experiences. We want to make sense of why certain
things happened the way they did. We tell ourselves, listen,
it wasn't that bad people had it was okay, or
we say they did the best they could. And sometimes
that is true, that is true, But understanding rarely ever
helps with the open wound, not at first, and when

(22:00):
we finally realize this, the anger creeps in, and then
the pain and the grief, and sometimes in that process
our instinct is to run back to our origin, to
the people and places that hurt us, not only to
excavate ourselves or to confront them, because that's why some
people go back, which is fine, by the way, but
many of us are also there secretly hoping that if

(22:20):
we shout enough, if we're scream enough, they'll finally fix it,
that they will finally love us the way they were
supposed to.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
DBT Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Thank you Pamela Bass in the
chat room that offered that, Yes, go to a therapist
that's skilled in that, a trauma informed therapist. Go hey Man,
Cognitive behavioral therapy CEBT. Go find out, Go find out.

(22:51):
We got to get over this fear of sitting down
with someone and opening up. And you have people out
there that are trained to listen. And then once they
hear your origin story, or your victim story, or your
villain story whatever, once they hear it, they can prescribe,

(23:14):
you know, a series of behaviors to help you look within,
to help you on your individuation process. Again, you creating
a plan for intimate relationships while you're unhealed is a
recipe for disaster. It's a literal recipe for disaster. What

(23:41):
practices help you realign spiritually and psychologically after realizing your
relationship plan wasn't in sync with what God or the
universe has for you? What if the person you attract
is not a partner but the echo of your disowned frequency.

(24:05):
What you won't integrate shows up in whom you love? Well,
whoa WHOA?

Speaker 3 (24:09):
WHOA?

Speaker 1 (24:11):
What Zoe? What you won't integrate shows up in whom
you love? And I'm fine with it. I'm gonna get
out your way. I'm gonna let you love what is unintegrated.
I'm gonna get out the way, what if the person

(24:31):
you attract is not a partner, but the echo of
your disowned frequency, what you won't integrate shows up in
whom you love. I know this is hard to hear.
A lot of people think they didn't come up in
maybe a bad situation. I had two parents. Blah blah blah.

(24:52):
Everybody was cool, we had lunch, we made good, we
was all right. We all went to college. We did
this back boom bamboom. Not all abuse is a punch
in the eye, right. Some abuse is subtle, especially if
you don't know the position or the psychological position your

(25:14):
parents were in themselves. You don't know what their attachment
styles were. You don't know if they were dealing with
mental health issues. You simply don't know. But if the
house was basically cool, I didn't come from no drama,
You have no idea what kind of drama you modeled.

(25:37):
You might have modeled covert drama, right, You might have
modeled covert dysfunction. You might have modeled an avoidant communication style.
You might have modeled a combative or competitive communications. You
don't know, because you were just living in the aquarium

(26:00):
that you were raised in. Can intimacy occur without identity.
Can I truly meet you? Or are we just projections
in drag enacting old archetypes with new faces? If trauma
in codes the architecture of desire? Who exactly is choosing

(26:25):
your partner, your soul or your survival script? When I
come forward? I gotta talk to these people.

Speaker 7 (26:35):
There's a couple of real, big problems in physics that
nobody knows how to how to solve. One of them
is why should particles be probability distributions? That's going back
to the double slid experiment, and nobody knows. Now they say, well,
we just assume that they are, and then we can
calculate lots of things that turn out to be true
and we do the experiments, but it just starts from
that assumption. But we have no idea why they ought

(26:57):
to be distributions. Well, this theory tells you why they
ought to be probability. You know, we live in a
probabilistic statistical reality. It's just consciousness. This is a model.
We're in a big simulation. We're in a computer game.
You see the Truman Show. So we're in this big

(27:17):
elaborate multiplayer computer game interacting this consciousness with the data
stream so that we can evolve growth to word love.
One of the one of the feedback systems in this
computer game is that you can modify the probable future.
See the futures. We look at the future in terms
of probability. Because this system now has created this this

(27:40):
world for us to live in, then it also computes
what's likely to be next, what's probable to be next,
and then given that that's true, what's probably next after that?
And given that that's true, what's probably next after that? Well,
you can only go so far because the errors are
building as you as you go out. But you can
go pretty far because most of us are pretty predictable.

(28:01):
You know, if you figure that the databases, everything we've
ever done, thought, you know, imagined, every emotion, every feeling,
you know, that's all in the database of the character.
So what's going to happen in the next tiny second
is not that hard to guess. So this can go
out for a pretty long So.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
What you guys don't understand about my good guy right there?
I love his work. That's Thomas Campbell used to be
a physicist and then turned into a metaphysicist, a spiritualist,
and he uses his education as a physicist to prove

(28:41):
the metaphysical side of things. He has a three part
book called My Big Toe toe Toe Theory of Everything Right,
very powerful book. I've gotten through two of them. The
third book is where all the Meat in Potatoes and

(29:01):
Greens is that the other books are setting up the
third one, and it's not an easy read, but it's
very interesting and intriguing. He's talking about living in a simulation.
Well many physicists and this is the other side of
this story about your plans versus the divine plan. You're

(29:23):
a program, You're God's program. God is the architect of
the matrix. God has you on purpose to discover that
you and him are not separate. Wait a minute, slow
down though, and how is he doing it? He's doing

(29:45):
it through relationships. The wounds are the demons, the ghosts
in the machine. The wounds are the programs that are designed.
I know y'all don't want to hear put this way.
The wounds are designed to grow you up spiritual resilience.

(30:12):
We live in a society that wants to throw resilience away,
but Thomas Campbelli's and we live in a simulation. What
does he say about and I'll get to fine tuning,
which is another cosmological idea. But what you fail to

(30:36):
realize with this simulation that he says we live in, right,
we look at the word satan adversary, Well, what is
your life if you have an overcome adversary? Bruce Pearl
told my son the first day he was at practice.
He said, adversary reveals the nature of the player, who

(31:00):
you are as a person. Oh so Lucifer has a
place in the simulation, or Satan has a place in
the simulation. He's a spiritual trainer. He's socking you and
throwing obstacles in your way because he's trying to teach
you how to adapt and evolve and overcome. He gets

(31:21):
a check at the end of every week from God.
He's here to test you. If he tested God's son,
what makes you think you can't be tested by it?
That's just how that's the simulation. I know people don't
want to hear put that way, but I'm speaking in
the terms that people can swallow it. You live in
a simulation, you think that you can have those demons

(31:44):
co write your relationship expectations, and you supposed to be happy. No,
you can get everything to society offers you, and it's
still worthless to what's inside of you. You see, do
you understand what I'm saying? It's worthless? Right? What is

(32:06):
the scripture? What does a man gain? Right? What's the
money scripture.

Speaker 8 (32:14):
Gain?

Speaker 1 (32:14):
The whole world? Would have to give up and lose
your soul? Somebody where, my saints at deacons Deaconess, where
are you? I need the verse? I'm having the brain fart.
I need to know what the verse is. But again
it's the same thing, right, we are as easy to

(32:34):
get what society offers. Go back to Christiana Murthy, no
measure of health to be fully integrated into a toxic society.
What runs society? Matthew sixteen twenty six. For what will
profit a man? If he gains the whole world and

(32:55):
forfeits his soul? We can have the whole world. The
having the whole world is easy. So guess what. We
go out, We win, we get everything we want, We grind,
we bust our tails, we go get it right. But
there's something inside of you that is the purpose for
why you're here, and the only way to do that

(33:17):
is in relationships. Relationships are not about trips. Relationships are
about internal individuation, which is a type of spiritual graduation.
When I come forward, I promise you I'm going to
the phone lines. We got Oakland and Dallas, Texas on

(33:37):
the line. If you want to bring your city in
the building, all you got to do is call me.
Let me ask you this question before I leave, though,
Do you relate because you are whole or do you
relate to become whole? And how does that distinction dictate
your suffering?

Speaker 9 (33:57):
Put it in different ways. Maybe the communists may want
perfect state, perfect environment is the same problem. You understand,
it's the same is surely put in different words there tomorrow,
So that maybe I'm asking one of the fundamental reasons

(34:19):
why human beings don't change because they have this the
perfect highest principle called in Hindia Brahman Nirvana by the
Buddhist heaven, by the Christians, and so on, so on,
so on. That may be one of the fundamental reasons

(34:41):
why human beings don't change. The perfect ideal, the perfect
man a woman, which means the what is not important,
but that is important. The perfect ideally is important. The

(35:05):
perfect state is important. The highest, the nameless is important.
So don't bother with what is. Don't look at what is,
but translate what is in terms of what should be.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Hey, get him off of here right now because it's
getting abusive. How how hard Krishna Hurte is hidden folk?
Don't bother with the what is? Guess listen, He's focus
on what should be. I should have a different type

(35:47):
of relationship than the one that I grew up around
with my parents. No, no, no, that is the what
is in your spirit. If it wasn't for Christianamurti talking
about the what is, we wouldn't have echar Told talking
about the power of Now do you understand the what is?

(36:12):
Most of us can't deal with the what is of ourselves.
And if you got unhealed wounds co authoring your relationship expectation,
I'm telling you you are spiritually misaligned. It goes back
to the clip I played earlier Thomas Campbell. He's talking
about the simulation. Well, how do we master the simulation?

(36:39):
We have to lower entropy? How do we lower entropy? Entropy?
Second law thermo dynamics. The longer thermo dynamic system goes on,
the more it begins to break down into chaos disorder.
It means I can no longer access the energy that
was in a particular thermo dynamic system. Well, an intimate

(37:02):
relationship theoretically and metaphorically is a thermodynamic system, and psychologically
we lose the spark. How do I access the energy
that can never be destroyed? But only change form doesn't.
Relationship rupture sends us down a path towards relational entropy disorder.

(37:29):
I can no longer access the energy of when we
were good. So what does he say? How do you
cultivate love? He said, love is a lost a zero state.
This is Thomas Campbell, a zero state of entropy. Well,
what creates entropy and intimate relationships? Unhealed wounds, wounds that

(37:56):
haven't been addressed, People who aren't intod According to Carl
Jung's system in individuation, merging the shadow with the mask
you wear. You know what I mean? People are afraid
to even look at that damn shadow. Go back to
my question before we came forward. Do you relate because

(38:20):
your whole or do you relate to become whole? And
how does that distinction dictate your suffering? What if attachment
wounds masqueraded as chemistry, and your soulmate is your trauma

(38:43):
reenactment partner in divine costume cosplay. If your nervous system
is still regulated by someone who hurt you, are you
even here now relating? Or are you relapsing? Oh God,
chop up to questions. Just chop up to questions and

(39:05):
put them on YouTube, put them on all social media.
Just chop up to questions. If your nervous system is
still regulated by someone who hurt you, are you even
here now relating? Or are you relapsing? Do you love
the person or the role they play in your holographic

(39:27):
reenactment of unresolved childhood metaphysics? Is your relationship a collaboration
of consciousness or a mutual agreement to avoid individuation? I
just want peace. I just won't. I will tear yourll
faces off with these questions. These are the real questions

(39:50):
that should be had. Nobody ever taught us to even
seek this type of discussion, but it is important. You
can't trust a plan from a divided man. Oh, you
can't trust a plan from a fractured woman. You can't
trust a relational plan from a wounded man or a

(40:11):
wounded woman. You simply can't because the wounds are silently
in control. They never saw you, they never knew you,
they never understood you. They weren't with you for that.
Here we go. We got callers on the line. Let's go,

(40:34):
let's go, let's go. Sean Oakland, California. What are your
thoughts on tonight's topic? Sean Oakland, California. What are your
thoughts on tonight's topic? Sean three two one? Call us back, Sean,
Reverend L Dallas, Texas. What are you a man? You

(40:59):
already know I'm in here, acted up? So what you
own today?

Speaker 10 (41:04):
Man?

Speaker 8 (41:05):
I'm gonna be nice and they're gonna be nice.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
No, Man, enjoy yourself. This is your time to shine. Brother,
enjoy yourself. Man.

Speaker 8 (41:13):
Okay, I got, I got, I got two points, I
got two positions. I'm gonna look at Okay. So one, uh?
Where you where you made? Uh? The made a reference
to the relationship how people but where they attract a
lot of people. I feel like these are just my
own personal thoughts. I feel like when people attract that

(41:34):
they attract where they are. They don't attract opposite, the
opposite or what intrigues them. But they're not attracted to them.
They like you said, they made a mention of the
things that, uh, they continuously want to get hurt. They
look for the they're looking for something.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
To betray them, something to hurt them.

Speaker 8 (41:55):
Yeah, and looking for that type of thing. And that's
a mismanagement of attraction. So or they stay too long
in a season and a lot of times people feel like, oh,
this is my season, this is my season. Sometimes it's
not your season and you're trying to make a square
peg fitting to a round hole just because they look good.

Speaker 10 (42:16):
That's not theirs.

Speaker 8 (42:18):
It's not their season right now. And again, everything doesn't
have to be on your timetable. It's okay to relax
and take time for yourself. And like right now, summertime.
Some people don't like summertime. It's cool, it's fine, but
don't make that the end all be off. When you
may find somebody who can help you get through those

(42:40):
those attachment issues that you have, those uh, those little
things that make the hair stick up on your arm
because oh, this person makes me feel vulnerable. And instead
of leaning into that, you're leaning away from it because
you don't want to address what's really going on with you.

Speaker 10 (43:00):
Come help you.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Keep going rare? Where the key where the keys at?

Speaker 6 (43:07):
Man?

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Where the organ? We need to praise break Lord, have mercy.

Speaker 10 (43:12):
Thanks.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
The mismanagement of attraction is what the man said. Lord,
hey man, let me just say, man, you you cooking
with the rarest grease. Brother. You are cooking with the
rarest grease man. So let me ask, Let me ask,
have you ever because I know people? Let me just say,

(43:48):
I know people struggle right with looking internally and then
taking responsibility for what they discover internally. Right, we already
understand that nobody is perfect. Everybody has their own kind
of backpack, spiritual backpack full of psychological issues that they
need to deal with. Right, we got all of that

(44:09):
off the table. That's understood. Have you ever just said,
you know what, I'm gonna go off the beaten path
and I'm just going to create a relationship blueprint that's
not based on any of that. Have you tried to
do that? Did you find it difficult? Or did you
always go back to the patterns you knew? Talk to me,

(44:33):
feel those established patterns, talk.

Speaker 8 (44:36):
To me personally. Once I grew up, I had to
find out that those usual patterns that you run into
you're gonna keep running to the same thing. So when
I got of mature age, when I got mature age
and I want to have something better for myself, knowing
that sometime I'm the problem, I had to do stuff different.

(44:57):
So it's not a nice not a nice thing to
know what type of issues and stuff that that that
make that trigger you when it comes to a relationship.
So I had to I had to veer off and
start doing stuff different, you know, like you just said it.
I had to if I wanted something and I wanted
something different from myself because I'm I'm seeing that I'm
running to the same situation and that same situation wasn't

(45:21):
always in my favor. It looked like it was.

Speaker 11 (45:24):
But it wasn't.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Wow, hey keep cooking.

Speaker 8 (45:31):
So so another thing I wanted to mention about these relationships,
like you just said a minute ago, people think these
relationships actually complete that person, like, oh yeah, I found
my person. This person completes me. And I don't believe
that off the jump until that person that says that
has to be healed themselves because a lot of times

(45:52):
we try to find the happiness through somebody else. We
want to make somebody else bring their happiness to me,
and it's like, oh yeah, this person, I just love
this person.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
So what's the.

Speaker 8 (46:00):
Phrase that these women say?

Speaker 10 (46:01):
Now?

Speaker 8 (46:01):
My man, my man, my man. They're throwing it on
that person. Why they can't why you can't put that
energy into yourself first and let that person gravitate to you?
And like, okay, you know what, this person right here,
they have an or about themselves and they're helping me
become a better person, not just making that look like
oh well I found my happiness. This is my person

(46:22):
and all this other stuff. It's like, cause people gonna
come and go, But what what do you have to offer?

Speaker 3 (46:28):
What?

Speaker 5 (46:28):
What kind of spirit do you have?

Speaker 8 (46:30):
Like people, even people tune into this show because they
like to hear good conversations coming from a good person
from good place. And that's that's what you gravitate to.
But guess what, So don't complete me? He's not you
know what?

Speaker 5 (46:44):
Reason?

Speaker 8 (46:45):
Don't complete me?

Speaker 3 (46:47):
Like that?

Speaker 8 (46:48):
You want to be somewhere where you feel accepted and wanted,
but that does not complete who I am. I like
being here, I like being here, I love the fellowship,
I love all of that. That's those are things that
you that you gravitate too, right, but it don't completely.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
And sometimes people gravitate to it because they lack it. Now,
that's the hurt, that's the hurt. Locker. I don't have it,
but I know what I want, and this feels like
what I want. But what I'm gonna do is push
it back on you and say it's your responsibility to

(47:25):
have it, and you can have it. You're just coming
here because it takes less effort to listen than it
does to go inward. Yes, her, DC man, you bruh
you hey, Reverend l Ratchet, guess what you just did.

Speaker 8 (47:44):
Fam brought Dallas, Texas in the building.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
Dallas, Texas is on the board. You already know the
big state of Texas always shows up and shows out.
If you want to bring your city in the building,
all you got to do is follow the simple protocol.
Call me right now. One hundred and nine twenty fifteen eighty.
That's the number to die. Do you require love or

(48:10):
are you addicted to the feeling of being needed by
the version of yourself you become in their eyes? Just
clip up the questions. Do you require love or are

(48:30):
you addicted to the feeling of being needed by the
version of yourself you become in their eyes. If every
relationship is a mirror, are you brave enough to love
someone who reflects your wholeness instead of your wounds? Who's
writing the relationship blueprint for you? Is it up to you?

(48:57):
You have free will? Or is there a divine plan
that Thomas Campbell hinted to When we come forward, the
Voice of Reason is going to Oakland, California to talk
to one of our regulars. Here we go talks about.

Speaker 12 (49:13):
What it means to be misaligned. People are just really
afraid to own the consequences of their decisions in such
a drastic, self responsible way, because once they do, then
there's no other choice but to start making decisions from alignment.
It takes a lot of courage to look at the
decisions you've made that got you to the place that

(49:35):
you are and make a new decision, follow through with
that decision, commit to that decision to get yourself back
to alignment.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Well, well that was concise, so to the point of
equally yoked, and I'm going to the phone lines to
the point of equally yoked. People are bringing it up
and equally yoked. Don't you know when you're healed, you're
still equally yoked. Patrick Carnes's trauma bonding proved that both

(50:08):
of you are wounded and haven't really healed, and you're
attracted to each other. You're equally yoked to the broken
home you came from. Yes, yes, I know, no one's
ever said it that way, but that's what it is.

(50:30):
And when you heal, you attract health. You see you
attract another healed person. You don't need to be two
broken fragments that are puzzle pieced together to make one
whole person or one whole relationship. No, you come in hole.

(50:56):
But most people think if they got money and they wallet,
they come in hole, or if they have a job,
they come in hole. Oh listen, man, there's a lot
of holes in your hole. You really holy for show? Listen, Ken,
A relationship that works still be spiritually irrelevant. These christs

(51:28):
just cracking me up. Ken, A relationship that works still
be spiritually irrelevant. You frustrated with them because you're not
individuated from within. They remind you of what you suppress,
but you've attracted it. You're equally yoked. Geez, we got callers,

(51:56):
Let's get him in here. Sean Oakland, California. What are
your thoughts on tonight's topic.

Speaker 3 (52:01):
Brother, Well, it seems like there's a lot of topics one.

Speaker 10 (52:08):
It's only one.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Brother.

Speaker 10 (52:10):
Well okay, well you you definitely went.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
On the look. I love this show. My thing is,
you know, when we're talking about topics or people in relationships,
the most important thing, which you give them all a
lot of very good things to deal with, is resilient.

(52:35):
I mean, if you cannot be resilient and have a
process agenda, like you know how you know you can't
predict how the next day is going to be. In
the next day, that you are willing to have a
process agenda and just love the agenda even when it sucks, brother,

(52:59):
even when it just kicks your ass and hits.

Speaker 10 (53:02):
You side the head and all that stuff. You know,
the process of gender is what life is. You know
it's going to happen. People, let me tell you something.
It's going to happen. So the main thing you can
do is prepare yourself and get ahead of it. I

(53:25):
always tell people that. Oh, I always say it's better
not to react. It's better to get ahead of it.
Get ahead of it, even if you're wrong, Get ahead
of it because if you even if you're wrong, you're
ahead of it and now you can make an adjustment.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Yeah, I love that. We appreciate it, Sean, thank you
for the wisdom.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Man.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Guess what you just did? Bro oh down business in
the house. Hey, we got one of my favorite callers on.
I'm gonna save him because he gonna need a little
time to spread out. You feel me. He got he
got some things he gotta cover, and we up against

(54:10):
the clock and I don't want to get him started,
and then had to cut him off. But these are
important questions, and I'm using the Socratic method right because
the questions are designed to elicit mindfulness, introspection. The questions

(54:31):
are designed to make you go, oh wow, I never
looked at it that way. I never thought of it
that way. And because we don't know the questions to ask,
I'm formulating them and putting them out now. In quantum
or cosmology, right, Einstein, he came up with twelve fifteen, sixteen,

(54:55):
maybe twelve or so cosmological constants. Those cosmology constants are
so precise that they indicate that someone finally tuned them.
The whole universe is fine tuned. We live in a
part of the galaxy called the Goldielock zone. Oh even

(55:17):
relationships have a Goldilock zone. Oh wow. So metaphorically speaking,
I'm asking, has Spirit finally tuned your relationship experiences designed
to get you to up level yourself? I use the

(55:38):
analogy of satan, the word satan meaning adversary, adversity. What
is a life without adversity? When we come forward? Man,
is your way better than the divine way?

Speaker 13 (55:55):
We talk about a lot of things, but we never
really talk about sating the tone in your relationship. You
said to talk about how you express yourself, how you
show up by your choices, by your behavior, by your actions,
by the words that you use. How are you treating
and showing up in your relationship? Can your partner be
themselves or do they walk on eggshells because of your mocking,

(56:15):
your constant interruptions, your belittling, patronizing, condescending behavior. Are they
comfortable speaking and raising concerns and speaking about how they
feel or do they have to worry about your deflection,
your dismissiveness, and your justifications and you're over explaining or
you're minimizing their feelings? Do they shut down down because
of the way you have poorly handled and managed conflict
in the past, or maybe the tactics that you have used,

(56:36):
manipulation and persuasive and controlled tactics that have just overwhelmed
them emotionally as each disagreement or raised concern resulted in
an argument, How attentive are you to their needs?

Speaker 3 (56:47):
What's Oh?

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Lord, she breaking it down and she's cooking with the
rares grease, and I love what she's saying. We got
callers on the line. I want to get to them.
But my goodness, most people haven't figured it out yet. Yes,
I simply don't know how to be with another human being.
That's why most of your actions are performative. That's why
you know how to say the right thing. You have

(57:09):
to say the right thing if you want to keep
the relation. You don't want to lose the relationship. You
don't want to offend them. Right, Everything is an act.
When a relationship gets to the point where I can
be okay with the fullness of who I am, flaws
and all, then I can be in a relationship with

(57:32):
someone at the same level of consciousness. Do you see
how difficult it is to be in a relationship with
someone at your level of consciousness. If you haven't healed,
everything is about oop. Let me not offend, oop, Let
me not upset. I don't want to lose them. Do
you understand what I'm saying? Oh, I gotta leave because
that looked like something I experienced before. Do you get

(57:52):
what I'm saying. People have no idea how relationships are
really supposed to work. You're supposed to be in a
relationship with a human being. You're supposed to be able
to make a mistake, and your partner be the first
cheerleader by your side, Like, hey, I get it. You

(58:16):
don't have to be everything and every answer and every
solution and every whatever to me. I get it. You
failed us in this moment. Listen to what I'm saying.
You failed us in this moment. You failed your commitment.
But because I'm healed, I'm not destroyed by you falling.

(58:42):
Unhealed people get destroyed by another unhealed person. Falling. Falling
is part of the human condition. We are beautiful flaws,
and we don't know how to be with each other
as flawed people. If you succeeded in manifesting your relationship plan,

(59:06):
but it interrupts your soul's curriculum? Have you failed or
been seduced? I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna go where
I'm wanted. Let me read that again. If you succeeded

(59:27):
in manifesting your relationship plan, but it interrupts your soul's curriculum,
have you failed or have you been seduced? Who authored
your ideal partner, your essence, or your ego's coping fantasy? Listen,

(59:50):
somebody put the questions out there, all right? THEO from Charleston,
South Carolina. What are your thoughts on tonight's.

Speaker 5 (59:56):
Topic, Joe? Like everything right now is heavy, weighing heavy
right now, like from where I'm at right now, But
I'm being told that I am lying. I have been lying,
like I've been lying the whole time, Like no, the
part of what I've tried to show up as like
you said, that part was not looked at from a

(01:00:19):
space of like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
Oh this is what you sent me in the DM
the other day. Right, Okay, So I have an answer
for you something. I'm just gonna be honest with you. You
gotta stop doing things to get something back. You gotta
start being you say, Hey, I did this and I

(01:00:43):
didn't get whatever result you were looking for By doing this,
it's performative. She probably can feel that you're trying to
do something to elicit a particular response from her. That's
really what you're after, a particular response. Don't do something
that isn't in alignment with who you are. Be open,

(01:01:07):
be honest, be truthful. I know it's difficult. I struggled
with it for many years, but listen, you got to
stand in your spirit and say, I'm saying this from
a truthful, authentic, integrist space. I'm not saying this from
a covert manipulative space because I want you to respond

(01:01:28):
a certain way. Now, this is the reason why I
didn't respond to your message in the DM, because I
knew the answer would be long. Does that make sense
to you?

Speaker 5 (01:01:37):
But yes, it makes sense to me, and you went
in depth with your response. Sometimes I get I'm not
gonna say that because I already said it, Like wait
a minute, If you already said it, then I would
have gotten it. I wouldn't have asked you to even
repeat it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
But again, sometimes your insecurities will and I'm talking just you.
I don't know what her insecurities are. I'm just talking you.
Sometimes you let your insecurities dictate how you communicate and
how you perform. Am I lying?

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
I believe that's everyone.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
No, we're not talking to everyone THEO. We're talking just
to you right now. So do you understand what I'm saying?
So if you do that, you are in an inauthentic space, bro.
And she's still a woman, whether she healed or unhealed,

(01:02:33):
she can sense it, she can pick it up. So
why wouldn't she be defensive. You're not coming from an authentic,
true space. You're coming from a space of let me
see if this works on her. Am I lying?

Speaker 5 (01:02:51):
Quen?

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
Did I lie?

Speaker 5 (01:02:55):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
Okay? So do you see what I'm saying. This is
why I'm asking you. And I think my answer to
your response in that DM I said, Man, you gotta
go to therapy. Did I not? Yeah, just go to therapy.
Stop trying to do a relationship for dummies. Listen, I

(01:03:19):
listened to the show and learn what I need to learn. No,
go to therapy. Pick a sister. Usually the sisters be
tapped in on both the spirit and the clinical. Go
to one of them, find a good one and work
it out.

Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
And I'm talking about with yourself, not trying to manipulate it. Well,
I heard Zoe say, and I heard I've read this book. No, no, go,
do some work for real and try to address yourself. Brother.
Does that make sense?

Speaker 10 (01:03:56):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:03:56):
I understand that part, And I keep going back. I say,
you got to go.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
I'm sorry, no, no, no, But you keep going back
to what No.

Speaker 5 (01:04:05):
I the narrative of understanding that like coming through survival
mood and trying to get into a space where I
have a steady foundation to be able to make that
even happen.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Right, So let's go back. Let me just say, you
being wounded and hurt and unhealed, man, you have a
god given sovereign right to be upset, to display righteous indignation.
You have a right to be despondent. But how long

(01:04:40):
are you gonna stay there? And why should you?

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Whatever was triggered in you is for you to heal,
not for your partner to capitulate and conform. Do you
see what I'm saying? Don't be a toxic nice guy
who gets mad after doing something nice and not getting
the response they wanted.

Speaker 5 (01:05:05):
Right, right, right?

Speaker 3 (01:05:06):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 10 (01:05:08):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
That makes all the sense in the world. I definitely does.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Hey, guess what you just did. My brother.

Speaker 5 (01:05:15):
Chousing and House.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
Charleston, South Carolina in the building. Hey, if you want
to get your city up on the board, all you
got to do is call me one in hundred nine
twenty fifteen eighty. When we come forward, Woo, we got
the bishop deaconess in the house. When we come forward,
we going to Mississippi.

Speaker 11 (01:05:36):
I was always so fearful that one wrong choice, one
slip up, one mess up, was going to ruin my
entire destiny and the plan of God of my life.
He said, Doohanna, if you have to break free from
the belief that it all lies on you. I had
never heard that before, so can my spirit. It went
against everything that I was taught. The Lord continues to
remind me that when he speaks, even if it goes

(01:05:58):
against what I was raised in, his voice has the
final say and the final authority. And I can find
proof of that in his scripture. And so this is
one of those times where I had to release the
idea that my entire destiny, the weight of everything that
God had for me, rested all on my shoulders. I
never meant for you to carry it better. Yeah, I
never expected you to this thing that we're cultivating between us,

(01:06:21):
this beautiful relationship, this harmony, this symphony that is orchestrating itself,
doesn't call for perfection. It calls for inclusion. Relationship. I
don't expect you to always get right. I expect you
to include me in the process.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Man, we on complete fire tonight. You know we got
to save the best for last. Of course, we love
her to death. She's gonna give us some food for thought.
It's NICKI from Mississippi. NICKI, what are your thoughts on
tonight's taping?

Speaker 14 (01:06:48):
Others all in the fam. I'm the answer you question
is a suggestion.

Speaker 8 (01:06:58):
And a failure.

Speaker 14 (01:07:00):
Anything that steers you away from where the soul is
designed is both generally, because the seduction is what draws
you away from where the soul or the spirit is
trying to get you to go. And you can be
seduced by anything. It's not always just a sexual seduction.

(01:07:25):
You can your you go, can be seduced.

Speaker 5 (01:07:28):
Away from where your spirit self is.

Speaker 14 (01:07:31):
Trying to get you to go.

Speaker 5 (01:07:34):
Food for thought.

Speaker 14 (01:07:34):
And I said in the chat, if you asked about
spiritual yoking, you know the church talks a lot about
unequally yoke I have a theory.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
Go ahead.

Speaker 14 (01:07:47):
I don't think just all the time unequally yoke. I
think the yolks are the same, but they unhealed yokes.

Speaker 5 (01:07:55):
And so what are you yoking with?

Speaker 14 (01:07:58):
Are you yoking with somebody who's avoided and you're giving
them supply?

Speaker 5 (01:08:06):
Right?

Speaker 14 (01:08:08):
I think we sometimes, a lot of times oftentimes are
equally yoked in the same poor place. If the yoke
is the place where the nourishment is supposed to come from,
even if it's negative, Because to you, if you're that
person who's on heal, that's nourishment.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
To you, that's heavy.

Speaker 14 (01:08:31):
But so I'm saying, consider what are what kind of
nourishment are you giving given to yourself before you offer
that to another person?

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Love it? Love it, Nikki. Guess what you just did, sweetheart?

Speaker 14 (01:08:51):
I brought the sip in the building.

Speaker 8 (01:08:53):
I still love everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
We love you, dude, Mississippi on the board. You already
know how I go. You already know how I go.
What if the institution of love is the most effective
psychological operation ever devised, a socially sanctioned hallucination that anesthetizes
us from encountering the unbearable truth of our own unintegrated selves.

(01:09:20):
Why do why? Or we do not fall in love,
we relapse into each other. Every relationship is a psychodynamic hologram,
an echo chamber of the unconscious, where two nervous systems
reenact their ungrieved wounds under the guise of connection. You

(01:09:44):
think you're choosing your partner, but you're really just choosing
the familiar pain you've survived best. The blueprint of your
attachment isn't poetic. It's neurological that spark. It's often trauma
recognizing itself in drag. The lie is this intimacy doesn't heal,

(01:10:11):
it reveals, It doesn't complete you. It exposes the fractures
you've spent your entire egos architecture defending against. And when
the mirror shatters, we call it betrayal. But what's actually

(01:10:34):
betrayed is your illusion that someone else could ever do
the emotional labor your inner child still avoids. The soul
doesn't crave partnership. It craves obliteration, integration, annihilation of false constructs.

(01:10:58):
But the ego hijack this and makes it about partnership, monogamy,
twin flame, divine unions, anything to avoid the raw terror
of self confrontation. Love in this framework becomes not salvation
but sedative. Let us be psychologically precise. The need to

(01:11:22):
be loved is often the residual panic of an unparented
nervous system. What we call connection is frequently codependence. With
better branding, listen man. The desire to be chosen is
a bypass for self abandonment. The longing for forever is

(01:11:49):
a trauma induced protest against impermanence. We fetisize security because
we do not know how to metabolize uncertainty, and we
romanticize suffering because our earliest models of love taught us

(01:12:11):
that inconsistency and unavailability and detachment equals value. I started
the conversation, It's up to you to finish it. The
voice of reason Tuesday night, you already know what it was.
I'll be back here tomorrow. My what is it? My

(01:12:33):
Friday Eve? I love y'all. I appreciate everybody for being here.
I'll be back with another slapper deuces