Apocalyptic Chopped Challenge | Zombie Book Club Ep 105 - Zombie Book Club

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:20):
Welcome to Zombie Book Club, the only book club
where the book is the culinaryequivalent of the sleep
paralysis demon.
I'm Dan, and when I'm notfrozen in abject culinary horror
, I'm writing a book about azombie apocalypse where the
people in safe zones eatnutrient-enriched peanut paste
to ward off starvation andprobably still wouldn't eat any
of the food we're going to talkabout today.
I wish that was a joke.

(00:40):
I wish I didn't have to knowabout the food that we're about
to talk about.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
It's my fault, I just thought we needed to do this.
Okay, let's do it.
I'm Leah and today on the showas an appetizer, we are serving
up an author pitch and somepersonal life updates before
diving into the main course Lifeupdates, the apoc, not yet.
Oh, I'm trying to do my.
You ruined my menu description.

(01:05):
I'm sorry.
Leave this in.
People can see.
This is the truth of our thisis how it really works.
And today on the show, as anappetizer, we're serving up an
author pitch from Ross Killeyand some personal life updates
before diving into the maincourse, the Apocalyptic Chopped
Challenge.
Say that three times fast, Dan.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Apocalyptic Chopped Challenge, so that three times
fast Dan Apocalyptic ChoppedChallenge, apocalyptic Chopped
Challenge, apocalyptic ChoppedChallenge you win.
I did it, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Twelve contestants are going to combine eighteen
random shelf stable ingredientsinto their three-course Last
Supper menu for a secret prize.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
So they're going to die after they eat?
This is what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Because it's their last supper.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Well, all of them will, except for one.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Oh, the winner gets to live.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
The winner gets to live and they get a prize Okay,
which they'll have to decide forthemselves if it's truly a
prize, that's a good prize,depending on how you look at it,
I guess yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I didn't think of that as there are some horrors
worse than death.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
We release episodes every sunday, so sub scab oh, oh
, no, I don't like that one.
Did you ever eat your own scabsas a kid?
No, did you.
Yes, moving on, uh, somebodyelse is eating their own scabs.
That's listening.
You understand, I didn't do itall the time, but I definitely

(02:30):
did it once.
Oh, have you ever eaten yourown?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
booger.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
No, oh, I wasn't that kid I totally was that kid uh,
but we're gonna, we're gonna uhshare some personal life updates
, dan, as uh, our amuse bouche,oh numero, oh no, I can't, I'm
combining languages, I justshouldn't even try the amuse

(02:54):
bouche yeah, the amusing bouche,the appetizer, appetizer number
one, before we get to the maincourse is we have personal life
updates.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
I don't know what's been going on give me your three
bullet point update I mean,everything's fucked one but that
.
But we expect that now too.
That's the new normal.
I only have one more updateit's not, it's not like wishes
leah.
So my, uh, my third life updateis that I found a genie and, oh

(03:26):
, all of my wishes have beengoing horribly so that's why our
bunker smells like an old sock.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, because it does .
I wished for old socks.
Oh my god, I just realized youhave socks in here.
Yeah, yeah, dan uses the bunkerto get dressed in the morning
for work because he's so kindand he doesn't want to wake me
up.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I just want to say thank you for that, but I did
just realize that it smells likewet socks for a reason.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, there's a reason for that.
Also, I can't smell it becauseI don't have a sense of smell.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
That's wonderful, I get it.
Let's get to the main pointhere, which is that you're
wonderful and thanks for notwaking up in the morning, and
turning the light on in thebedroom, yeah.
That's really kind.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, I mean, you know, maybe in another lifetime
I would have been that guy.
But no, I prefer to let yousleep.
You're very sweet Because I'mnice like that.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
You know what this is going to be my life update.
It's like a thing that I love,that I would normally never talk
about because it's such a small, tiny, lovely moment.
Which life update.
Every morning, in the workseason, Dan gets up somewhere
between three and four 30 in themorning, typically.
Yeah, Um, at that point I'vewoken up myself three or four
times cause I have insomnia andum, most of the time I hear him

(04:42):
and feel him stir, and sometimeswe even like chat for a couple
minutes.
A lot of the time I'm him andfeel him stir and sometimes we
even like chat for a coupleminutes.
A lot of the time I'm past thefuck out.
But what always happens and Iknow it always happens because I
do remember this is Dan comesover to my side of the bed and
he gives me a little kiss and hetells me he loves me and then
he creeps away and opens thedoor really quietly, closes the
door, comes into the bunker,turns on a light, does all that

(05:04):
stuff.
I don't hear the man at all andthat's really nice.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
Does it um?

Speaker 2 (05:11):
it's only the moment to know that I kissed the dogs
first.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
No that makes it sweeter.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Uh, nero, really.
I mean, he can't start his daywithout a good morning kiss.
Yeah, do they really like it Onthe lips?

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, that's how he likes it.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
I don't even think.
You kiss me on the lips beforeyou go, do you?
I do?
I don't know exactly what'shappening because I'm not fully
conscious.
Yeah, but I didn't know.
You gave the dogs a kiss on thehead.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
Well, no, a kiss on the lips.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
No, you my life.
I don't have anything else tosay.
You said the rest of terribleout there, yeah there's things
to be grateful for, and that'sdefinitely high on my list yeah,
that's about it.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
I've been having stress dreams about the new guy
at work, but I know I don't feellike that's an update I had a
dream about how great mybroccoli was doing.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Oh yeah, how's that?
How's that going?
Well, we ate it.
More is going to come, but weate the first round.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
How does the dream live up to the reality?

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Oh, my dream.
They were way bigger.
They were, they were impressive.
I was very happy, some thickrocks.
Yes, oh God, I said my mothercould listen to this episode and
I forgot until right now.
Hi, mom.
We're going to move on to oursecond appetizer, our prequel.

(06:24):
You gotta have two our runnerour show opener, our official
show opener, the can opener ofthis episode yeah, our author
pitch.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, this is like Applebee's, where you go for the
apps.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, Uh.
Author Ross Killey is a newZomBestie of ours and he wrote a
book called Nightmare Jungle.
Oh right, I remember the coveryes, incredible right, I
remember the cover.
Yes, incredible art.
I have the art up here, dan.
Do you have it up?
No, I'm going to try anddescribe it to you.
I know you've seen it, but thisartist they go at Dahmer art

(06:55):
like Jeffrey Dahmer's last name.
Wow, I don't know if that'sintentional.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
H-M-E-R.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, yeah, dahmer art and it looks like a zombie
in the jungle, which soundsright Nightmare jungle, and
there's some soldiers, there'sblood everywhere and there's
like really incredibleillustrative detail of the
zombies faces, and then the backcover is a fucking scary zombie
eating what looks like atugboat with an American flag

(07:20):
and soldiers on it.
All of it's taking place in theVietnam jungle.
That sounds rad, during theVietnam war.
I don't know, sounds prettyterrible.
Let's listen to what RossKilley has to say about his book
, and by terrible I mean beingin the nightmare jungle, not the
book.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Right, yeah, that makes sense.
Nightmare jungle does not soundlike a fun place to be.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
So let's listen to Ross Killey's author pitch for
his book Nightmare Jungle.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Old man Eli has waited decades to tell his story
.
When a guest shows up on hisporch, he finally has a chance
to be heard, an opportunity forthe world to know what really
happened back in 1970.
And now not only will he tellof the horrors of war, but of
other things, things that waitunder dark canopies, things that
shamble through the floodedreeds of the Mekong, things that

(08:09):
hunger for flesh.
A new zombie epic by RossKilley, author of Full Moon
Highway and the horror comedyStuck to a Monster.
Equal parts platoon andapocalypse, now mixed with
undead classics such as Dawn ofthe Dead and Zombie.
Once you step foot in thenightmare jungle, you'll always
belong to it ross, that soundsexcellent.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, you know, as as ross was talking, I I couldn't
help myself, but but think likeyeah, you know, I don't usually
love historic zombie stories,right like this takes place back
in the vietnam era historyhowever, I've, as I was
listening, I'm like wait.
A second night of the livingdead came out in 1968.

(08:52):
This is perfectly possiblycanonical with night of the
living yeah, while whilemonroeville and evansville,
pennsylvania, are being overrunby zombies, maybe in the jungles
of Vietnam, while the VietnamWar has taken place, there are
also zombies.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
I got to say that was written and obviously read
really well, to the point where,when you thanked us at the end,
ross, I was like wait, what.
It shook me out of a totallydifferent place.
You definitely captured myimagination.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
But yeah, that's just my takeaway, not knowing much
more than what we've heard fromRoss.
So let us know Read this bookand let us know if I'm right.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
But yeah, that sounds like an excellent read, very
immersive.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Just that little intro put me there, and because
of the art that I just saw too,I could picture the heat and the
oppressive humidity, yeah, andthe darkness of a jungle, and
then zombies, yeah, and also itmakes me want to watch um
apocalypse now, like here,hearing that I'm like I want to

(09:55):
watch apocalypse now and imaginezombies there, because I
imagine that that's, that's whatthat's, that's, that's where,
that's where this is going totake us I think that ross's
author pitch is going to be themost edible thing in this entire
episode.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah, I want to consume this book.
I'm not sure about what we'regoing to read now, but if you
have a special intro oh okay,let's, let's get into the
apocalyptic chopped challenge.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Leah, tell us what this is all about.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Well Dan, the world has ended.
Oh no.
But, dinner is still due.
Oh good, You're happy aboutthat.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, well, you know what the world being over was a
bit of a bummer Dinner comingsoon.
That brought my spirits back up.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Got it Well, this came about.
This challenge came aboutbecause one I love the show
Chopped and Got it Well.
This came about.
This challenge came aboutbecause one I love the show
Chopped, and if you haven'twatched Chopped, it's a show
that's on the Food Network and,I think, hulu.
We don't have access to it.
I wanted to watch one beforebut I used to be obsessed with
it and essentially they wouldhave a few well-known,
high-quality chefs on the showcompeting against each other for

(11:01):
a three-course menu where theywere given four ingredients per
round and a very short amount oftime to decide what to do with
it and cook it.
They had to use all of theingredients and then present it
to these judge chefs and theneach round, somebody would get
chopped, basically.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Oh, no, yeah, They'd chop them into pieces.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yes, their logo includes a butcher knife.
Our logo, for this includes abloody butcher knife.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
What do they do after they're chopped into pieces,
Like how do they get rid of thebodies?

Speaker 2 (11:29):
They don't show that part on the show.
Oh, they show them walkingthrough the slaughterhouse doors
.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Oh, Well then, I can't believe.
I haven't seen this show.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's not a slaughterhouse, but we're going
with that, okay.
So what I decided to do is,like we've been asking every
interviewee mostly authors, somefellow podcasters, some just
awesome people that we love whenthey come on.
We do these rapid firequestions, as you know, and
what's one of the questions wealways ask?

Speaker 1 (11:57):
oh what?
What shelf stable food item?
Yes, who do you want to get outof your canoe?

Speaker 2 (12:02):
no, that was for living day weekend.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
I did like that one though, but yeah, uh, the the
shelf stable food item.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, which shelf stable food item would you pick
to survive on for the rest ofthe apocalypse, if you came
across like a warehouse?
And so we've had, um, at thispoint we're like in the dozen
more than or not dozen more thantwo dozen interviews that we've
had on the show and um, I chose18 shelf stable ingredients
that people shared with us, andfor the three course meal that

(12:34):
folks were being invited to make, they had to pick six of those
each that were assigned okay, so, um, if I'm understanding this
correctly, our guests and ourfriends are all responsible for
what we are going to have totalk about today.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, because they chose the food.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
They chose to participate in this.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
They chose the food that we had to work with.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Oh yeah, you're right , it's their fault.
Yeah, we didn't choose.
It's not fault.
Yeah, they didn't.
We didn't choose, it's not us.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
No, so don't blame us when you listen to this podcast
and you throw up all over thedash of your car while driving
to work.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, I should warn you now.
You might want, if you'reeating, don't eat Stop eating
Put it down, put it down, put itdown, yeah, yeah, and you
probably won't want it afterYou're going to have to give it
some time.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Maybe pause and eat.
I don't know if you want to eata whole meal.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
No, no, because you'll throw it out.
Ideally, listen to this, as youcan decide that it's okay to
fast for a couple of hours.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Or days.
Yeah yeah, you'll probably wantto fast for days.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
We'll report back how long it takes us before we want
to this episode.
Yeah, so again, each ingredientwas specially selected by a
previous guest, so they are atfault for this.
And, at the end of the day, themission for apocalyptic chop
challenge is to craft athree-course meal using that
list of 18 ingredients, dividedinto three on uh courses oh boy,

(13:59):
yeah, okay um so let's talkabout the ingredients are, and
then we're going to get into it.
Okay, let's hear theseingredients for the, and then
we're going to get into it okay,let's hear these ingredients
for the appetizer round theyhave to use path of the pale
rider hot sauce from lauriecalcaterra craft mac and cheese,
which is a special kind ofboxed mac and cheese from canada
but like mac and cheese here,peanut butter pretzels I can't

(14:21):
eat.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
I mean already I just see that on the list and I'm
just like, oh god, no, because Ijust I can't eat.
I mean already I just see thaton the list and I'm just like,
oh god, no, Because I just Ican't eat another one.
I've had too many.
I had a big jar of them in mybackpack that I took to work and
I ate so many that I can't eventhink about them without like
tasting it and feeling the massof peanut butter and pretzel in

(14:46):
my stomach.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
I'm really sorry that happened to you, Dan.
It's my fault.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
It's all your fault.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Dried fruit mix Okay SpaghettiOs, okay Pizza kit.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
All right For the entree round.
We've got potato soup,cheez-its, peanuts, canned
peaches, bean medley and humanflesh the other white meat now,
we all know human flesh is notshelf stable unless maybe
they've you know, they smoked itor whatever.
However, this was given to usby our very first interviewee,
joshua grant, who wrote anotherzombie apocalypse, so it has to

(15:21):
be in there as the very firstinterviewee.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Well, you know what, if I may Leah, it can be shelf
stable if the person that youare collecting the human flesh
from is still alive, oh my God,which I'm sure is what Josh
Grant intended.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yes, it's going to be a hard episode.
Dessert Vegan Cheesy Mac careof Joe Salazar.
From a hard episode DessertVegan Cheesy Mac Care of Joe
Salazar, doug Wait, thanks, joeDonuts.
Okay, who was donuts from?
I think that was from SteveUrena Peanut butter, originally
given to us by Z Martin Brownbut repeated by like five guests
, it was like by far the numberone choice.

(16:01):
Honey O's cereal Is that likehoney.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Bunches of O's.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
It's a very.
I got a very specific imagefrom Owen from Days Worth Living
, co-creator of Days WorthLiving, and it's just like a
post cereal box and just saysHoney O's.
And then it looks like Cheeriosto me, but it doesn't say
Cheerios.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
And it has like little granola bits on the
inside.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
No, not that I can see, although Rowan, not Owen, I
just really called you Owen,rowan.
Sorry about that.
Oh, rowan, rowan, Rowan.
This is where I admit that Idid have an edible before this
episode.
I feel like it's required nowafter fucking that up.
That is the last thing.
I it's my last supper, okay.
Before that, we're listening tothis or talking about this or

(16:46):
doing whatever we're doing bakedbeans and vegetarian sausages,
tesco specifically yeah, who, uhwho.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Who chose that one?

Speaker 2 (16:54):
jack callahan oh and belgian yes, belgian beer.
All right, well, is our last.

(17:20):
That's quite an um of things.
I mean each individual, one ofthese things.
If I was just working with thepizza kit and Kraft mac and
cheese.
Great dessert possibilitiesthere right.
Like they go together and thehot sauce add that in.
But like, please don't make meput the dried fruit mix on it,
that's gross.
So the hardest part is usingall of them.
Yeah, because some of them cancombine nicely, like if I had

(17:40):
put canned peaches and donutstogether you could have made
like a peach glaze on your donut.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, and they're not limited by their tools, right?
No, we're not being like youcan only use a rock and a
machete and that's all you get.
No like you can do whatever youwant and that's all you get.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
No like you can, you can do whatever you want.
However, a part of our scoringis going to include
believability in terms of end oftime realness so is this.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Is this where I should tell you about how we're
going to score things.
Yes, all right.
So we've got a very specificscoring rubric that we've
developed specifically for thischallenge, something so
ingenious that it requires anacronym BITE, b-i-t-e, because
it's the end, is what it standsfor?

(18:33):
So B stands for blech orbingeability, either one.
This is our yummy to yuckyscale.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Which, if it's extremely yummy, you get a five,
if it's extremely yucky, youget a five.
Yeah, you can get a five eitherway, five being the highest
score Yummy and yucky, they'rethe same thing in our book.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yeah, would you risk your life for one more bite, or
would you rather eat your ownshoe?
That's what the black scale isall about.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
I feel like eating your own shoe is part of like
being on the Donner partypipeline, because they started
by eating their shoes beforethey started eating each other.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, you know, I would have waited for the other
people to eat their shoes sothat I could catch up to them
more easily.
Oh my god, I stands foringenuity.
This is your creativity score.
How cleverly did you use thecursed pantry?
Mad genius or just mad TBD, tbd, t, t for tone and taste.

(19:39):
This is your presentation ofyour art masterpiece food thing
or horror show.
This is determining whether youdescribed it with flair, drama,
horror or humor.
Bonus points for gag-worthyimagery or delicious sounding.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
If you make this sound even in the direction of
delicious, I'm going to bedeeply impressed.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
And E end times realness.
Would it actually happen?
Does it have apocalypse vibes?
Does this feel like a thingsomeone would cook under
apocalyptic pressure, pressure,pressure, you know.

(20:29):
and it would have been nice, Ithink, if we uh let people know
uh how they were being scored,before we know nothing about
this, but we made this up likehours ago, so we've, uh, of
course, put the most amount oftime and effort into this and
definitely didn't wait until thelast second to figure out what
we were doing and by we I meanLeah before she had the edible.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yes, I was prepared.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
So one by one, you know in in chopped.
How they do it is by course.
So they start with appetizerround and then somebody gets
chopped and then so on for eachround.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
But because we have 12 entries, I think the best way
to do it you suggested, dan wasthe whole menu and we're
dredging them on the whole menuto determine who is the ultimate
winner and get the best score Imean, if, if we had, if we had
a netflix tv series like wecould go round, round by round,
course by course, but you know,um, we gotta, we gotta keep

(21:22):
things moving along, especiallywith 12 contestants, that we
gotta eliminate all of them inone episode.
Yeah, only one can survive.
Only one yeah, only one can canmake it to the end.
Only one lives.
Who will survive and who willbe chopped like dead weight by
Quinn?
Quinn is going to do thechopping.
I'm very excited.
Let's get cooking.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Say that one more time.
Zombie emoji fire emoji Don'tdo that, okay, dan delete that
last thing you said.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
But I liked it, though, all right.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh well, then bring it back.
I'm bringing it back.
Okay, Dan, it is time for youto open the score sheet, because
that's the order we're going tobe doing this in.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Oh, there's a different.
Oh, there's a sheet, yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
There's a spreadsheet I made.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
I got to request access.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
No, you should.
If you got the link, you shouldbe able to open it Really.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Access denied Request access.
That's a lie.
I requested the access.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
So here's where I admit that there people on this
that are not um prior guests ofthe show but in some ways are
responsible for who I am today,starting with my friend nora,
one of my first friends invermont, also a former co-worker
, who I adore and really respectfor her culinary skills.
So instantly when I wasthinking about this I was like I
gotta see what nora would dowith these ingredients.
These are not ingredients norawould ever put in together in
one meal, but actually I saythat for most people in this

(22:48):
competition.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
But I want to start with nora can I tell you a
secret about nora?
she's gonna be listening, soyeah nora, you can, you can, you
can hear this, it's okay.
Um, when you first met nora anduh and we moved to Vermont, it
was my first winter off and Ihad to do a lot of the cooking
because I wasn't going to workand I'm like, how do I cook

(23:13):
things?
And, leah, you were like youshould go on a website that I
use a lot to find recipes and Ithink it was called like Nora
Cooks Vegan Correct and youwould talk about this website so
much and talk about your friendnora so much that I actually
thought you just knew the personwho ran the website, like this

(23:35):
is nora's website and I thoughtthey were the same person I
think I do have like an affinitybias for nora cooks vegan,
though, because of my friendnora, who is an excellent cook
so um.
Let us know, nora are you theperson behind?
The website, and how do you getso many great recipes?

Speaker 2 (23:51):
let's get into Nora's uh menu for us famously last
minute.
Love you, nora, that's my,that's my joke for you.
But we are both famously lastminute.
That's not true either.
My god, I'm being just shut up,yeah this is gonna be fun to
edit.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
I thought I'd be fine and I lied to myself.
Okay, nora, this is herappetizer round a crunchy amuse
bouche board featuring ants onthe log, inspired peanut butter,
pretzel and dried fruitcrackers.
You would crush them, mix them,shape them and bake.
Okay, optional layer with Kraftmac and cheese rounds.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
What is a round?

Speaker 2 (24:33):
I'm not sure.
Maybe, like you know what, Ican't speak for her.
Like a ball, oh, she describedsome, sorry.
Okay.
A selection of mini calzonesusing the pizza kit.
Flavors included classic,classic pizza, spaghettios,
spicy mac and cheese.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Oh okay, she definitely got all of the
ingredients in this appetizeryou know, what I love about that
is that she has these minicalzones that are all like
different fillings.
She didn't try to find a way tocram all of them into the same,
into one big one yeah she madea board got some, some finger
foods.
Yeah, I love that Cause.
Like well, who wouldn't wantlike a, like a, a collection,

(25:10):
like you know, all of theselittle mini calzones?
It was like which one's this, Idon't know, I'm going to find
out.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, honestly, I would eat this to do this.
Okay, entree round peachmarinated peanut and cheese
encrusted human flesh kebabs.
Serve with a duo of proteinpacked potato and bean medley
soup reduction dipping saucesokay, also sounds good.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, um, I mean, I don't know if I've ever had a
bean soup reduction dippingsauce, but it's not disgusting.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
I would imagine you'd have to emulsify the beans,
yeah, and then same with the.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
You just have more of a thicker texture soup with the
potato.
It'd be kind of like dippingbarbecued human flesh into bean
soup.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Alright.
Well, that just became gross.
That just became gross.
Yeah, I think I'm here for theentree round, until the dipping
sauces, now that you've ruinedthem for me?
Uh, because I think peachmarinated makes sense yeah, for
long pork.
Uh, yeah, you have the saltylike encrusted also like a great
idea yeah, um, dessert roundvegan cheesy mac layer cake with

(26:22):
an emulsion frosting of beer,baked beans and vegetarian
sausage.
God, this meal is really takingus for a ride.
Yeah, this one went all overthe place.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Peanut butter filled, honeyo, crusted refried donut
bites that sounds like it couldbe good yeah, so like this is
like taking the peanut butterfrom the pretzels and putting
them in the donuts.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Yeah, that sounds good, so I would eat half of the
dessert, I would eat half ofthe entree and I think I'd eat
the entire appetizer round.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Oh yeah, I'm going for all the appetizers.
Um yeah, I'd give, I'd give theentree a chance.
Like, I don't know how I feelabout dipping barbecue into bean
soup Kabobs.
Yeah, but it could work, itcould, it could work.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
I mean, maybe there's some good seasonings which
we're just presuming areavailable in the chopped kitchen
yeah, apocalyptic kitchen,which is quite an assumption I
think very generous.
So let's get into the firstscoring round here.
We're each going to give ascore out of five for b, is it
blech?

Speaker 1 (27:27):
or bingeable, oh, for the whole thing, yeah, oh, no
wait, which?
How do we?
How do um?

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I would think about them in.
In nora's case there's like 50percent blech and oh, this
doesn't math together but Iwould say there's more binge
ability than blech.
But both are, both are, bothexist.
So I would give her like a fourbecause I would say most of it
yeah okay, dan's getting a three.
I've got a four.
Okay, let's talk about um Ican't write I need to have

(28:00):
another copy of this open hold.
Hold on Ingenuity.
How cleverly did they use thecursed pantry.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
It was pretty clever.
I think the appetizers werevery clever.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
Appetizers 10 to 10, or 5 out of 5 in this case, yeah
.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
I think it kind of petered out by the dessert.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Well, dessert was like 50%, so let's break it out
into 100.
Appetizer 33% out of 33% waslike 50, so let's, let's break
it out into 100.
Um, appetizer 33 at a 33, maincourse for me 50, so now we're
at like 45.
Okay, yeah, so two and a half,and then the dessert.
One of the things was reallyfucking good, so I think I would

(28:39):
give nora a three out of five.
If that math made sense to you,then we are mind melding
whoever's listening.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, so a three.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah, that's what I'm giving her.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah, you agree, I can't edit.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Oh, I'm just putting it in for you.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Okay, I need.
Oh, I see.
Okay, alright, forget thatediting Dan.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
I'm making an editor just so you can feel like you
have control in the world.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Tone and taste.
Leah, how was the presentationConcise?
It was concise.
I think there could have beenmore flair, like, while she did
do a great job of explainingwhat these things are, there
were things that didn't.
It wasn't described in a waythat made me want to eat it,

(29:26):
like the bean medley reductionsauce.
I kind of have to use my ownimagination for that.
I didn't quite see it.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
It sounded a lot very close to like what would I
actually be on a menu?
I think that's the way thatNora approached it.
That's true, yeah, but I thinkI'm going to have to give her
sort of middle of the road here.
Two and a half for tea.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Oh, we can do halves, I am Okay.
Yeah, I think two and a half isaccurate, not to copy you or
anything.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
What about end of the world realness?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
Oh, I mean, I think this is all totally doable.
I mean totally doable.
I mean, are there going to besurvivors like cooking up such a
a gourmet feast?
Nor I, definitely.
Where they're making beanmedley reductions?
Maybe not I, but you know,maybe maybe they're like we have
something to celebrate today.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
I'm making that bean medley reduction for your human
flesh the people in the worldwho really love to cook and find
it to be like a love languageand a thing that's their
expression, I think, in theright moments, would do this.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
I think the appetizers definitely would be a
hit in the apocalypse.
Yeah, they'd want those minicalozones.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think the thing that might be hardest to do is
the cake.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
Yeah, that was the one that lost me the most.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Yeah, i'm'm gonna givea three for end of the real
worldness.
End of end of the worldrealness.
Yeah I think three is accurateyou're just doing all the same
scores as me, dan well you havetwo different scores no I did
one different okay, nora isrounding out a score of 24 out
of 40 great job, nora not badyou're in the lead.
Yes, okay, moving on to our, onto our friend Z Martin Brown of

(31:05):
Skippy the End fame.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Yeah, you know Z I've got a.
I have high expectations.
You should, After the peanutbutter situation, Don't let us
down Z.
All right, I'm going to read itto you, dan.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
Okay.
So Z Martin Brown is the authorof the non-essentials one and
two book three coming out soonand we had an interview with
them in the winter time of 2025,and here is their email to me.
I smoked a fuck ton of weed.
I understand.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Then thought five out of five.
Already.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Then thought long and hard about my culinary choices
and came up with this maincourse potato soup, cheese it's.
And hit me with that can ofpeaches.
First I eat the peaches andsave as much of that golden
juice as possible for the potatosoup to make the soup.
I use the empty peach can as mycauldron mix and cook the soup
over an open flame.

(31:55):
This is a zombie apocalypse, soit's safe to say.
Electricity and gas grids arefucked.
I finish off by chumbling,chumbling cheese.
It's crumbling cheese.
It's over the cooked potatosoup.
Crunchy cheddar croutons.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Appetizers.
I just realized this is inorder.
I don't know if this is my copypasting or yours.
Appetizers, I mean right offthe bat, it's dried fruit and
peanut butter pretzels.
I'll eat those at a wedding oryou bet your ass they're
snatched up by yours truly.
The third ingredient is trickycraft.
Mac and cheese versus pizza kit.
I love pizza, but I've nevertangled with a pizza kit before,

(32:30):
so I go with what I know.
Give me the mac cook and mixall three ingredients into the
nutty crunchy and very gooeygoodness dessert.
No fucking brainer, I do thison the regular for fun.
I'm very intrigued.
Now donuts grab two, then slapa hefty spread of peanut butter
on the inside of each.
Now take your honey out, cerealCrush it like you're now fucked

(32:51):
for one game count the zombieapocalypse got a hold of that
one and sprinkle the goldencrumb over the peanut butter goo
.
Got it Great.
Now smash the two donutstogether.
Eat peanut butter to peanutbutter.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Oh, yeah, got it Great.
Now smash the two donutstogether.
Eat peanut butter to peanutbutter.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Hmm, oh oh.
Butt to butt, oh yeah.
Now I've got myself a stickycrunchy honey nut dessert sandow
.
I dunk the sinful dessert intomore peanut butter between bites
Repeat until I either pass outfrom a sugar coma or am eaten
alive.
I'm super hungry now.
The munchies are taking over mygut and brain.
This is fun, but I gotta go.
Smiley face z.

(33:28):
I try to do your lettersjustice, zach they're just so
good.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Yeah, the you know what?
The the multiple donuts filledwith peanut butter butt-to-butt
situation, um, that's, uh, that,that's.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
That was something I would eat it.
Yeah, I would a hundred percenteat the dessert Did, did, did,
did.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Z Martin Brown use all of the ingredients.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
No, oh, z Z, those, yeah, those.
Uh, you didn't have edibles,like me, but you smoked
something and it got you, yeah,you know I, I feel like, I feel
like like to be fair.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
What we should do is for uh, whatever our score is,
we should deduct a point fromeach, from each, each category,
because not all, not allingredients were used let's
start backwards with him,because I think end of the world
realness would be five out offive oh, yeah, yeah, I get, I
give, I get, yeah, five out offive.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
He already said that he some of this he already does
yeah, but I love the actual likecooking out of the peach, can I
?

Speaker 1 (34:35):
love that he ate the peaches first, yeah, and then
use the juice so then we eachhe's getting a point knocked off
from that.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
So four yeah from each of us.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
All right t tone and taste yeah, I really like how z
has presented this um.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
I think I would give z a five for presentation so,
sadly, z, you're only getting afour and I was gonna say four,
so you get a three for me.
But I agree, I mean, I mean Iwas chuckling quite a bit.
Very funny to read Ingenuity.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
How much creativity did Z exhibit?

Speaker 2 (35:14):
I mean, it seems like Z exhibits creativity on the
daily with their dessert choices.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yeah, you know, I think some of this is, you know,
it's very real world.
It's very real, like theCheez-It croutons, like that was
one of the first things that Ithought of.
So, while I do think it'screative, I don't think it's the
most creative, especially sincehe admits that he already does
some of these things.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Well, that doesn't make it not creative, though.
Like who else does that?

Speaker 1 (35:41):
It's true, but it wasn't creative for specifically
for this challenge.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Also Z.
I require photographic evidencethat you actually do make that
dessert.
I want to see it and I want tosee you eating it.
That's the only way I'm goingto believe that's true.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
So, that said, I'm going to give a four, a four,
okay.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
So down to a three, and I was also going to give a
four, so also a three.
And, last but not least, blechor bingeability oh, I think, I
think it's fully bingeable.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
I'll give it.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
I'd give it a four, you want to eat a potato soup
that includes peach juice.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
I don't know.
You know a little bit of sweetin your potato, like I've.
I've made some soups that wereunintentionally sweet.
That ended up really good I.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
I mean I do like the idea of the crunchy cheddar
croutons a lot again, yeah, andlike I made.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
I made potato soup that had carrot in it and the
carrots were extra sweet and itmade it like a sweet potato soup
almost, and it was actuallypretty good.
It wasn't my favorite, but itwas good.
So what would you?
What score would you give?
Uh?

Speaker 2 (36:42):
I'm going to give a three.
A three, it was only a two.
I was also going to give athree, so also a two.
So, z Martin Brown, you areedging Nora out by one point.
Sorry, Nora.
Apparently, you cannot use allthe ingredients and not get
chopped in this chopped, yeah,we have slightly different rules
.
We're making them up as we goNothing about.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
This is fair.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
Like the apocalypse.
All right, moving on to Megan.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
All right, let's hear it.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
All right, megan says for an appetizer spicy, sweet,
stuffed fruit bites, avoidingthe PB filling.
Take just the pretzel part andcrumble up Stuff into dried
apricots topped with hot sauce.
To taste, honestly, yeah, sweetand spicy Stuff into dried
apricots top with hot sauce totaste.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Honestly, yeah, sweet and spicy.
What I really love about thisis that you've taken the peanut
butter out of the pretzels,which is the part that makes me
feel sick right now.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Interesting.
Yeah, so you just get like thesalty crunchy carb, which is a
win.
And the peanut butter maybe wecan put that on the ground and
just step on it with our shoes.
I'll eat the peanut butter.
Another time.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Actually, Nero can have the peanut butter.
That's true, he's also hungry.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
I'm super into this second appetizer, the super
pizza pasta cups.
Cook mac and cheese accordingto instructions, combined with
SpaghettiOs, mix in seasoningfrom Pizza Kid and extra sauce
if desired.
Serve in small cups with cheeseon top.
That's fucking cute.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
And then she says I'm arguing you would have more
than one appetizer while yourguests wait for the main meal.
I mean, yeah, we've alreadyestablished.
This is a good idea and a greatway to solve for this set of
ingredients that's been givenMain course.
Don't ask what's in it.
Slash terminus potato soup.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Terminus potato soup.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Love the Walking Dead .
Cannibal callback.
Yeah, crush up peanuts andCheez-Its, mix and set aside
Grill human flesh after adding asplash of peach juice to
enhance flavor.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
While flesh is cooking, cook potato soup per
instructions.
Add bean mix and well-grilledhuman flesh Mix.
Top with crushed up Cheez-Itsslash peanut mixture as desired.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah, yeah, I can see this.
I'm picturing it in my mind.
This this sounds like food.
It does.
It's kind of shocking.
This sounds like you know whatI make in the winter time that's
true.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
You do like everything but the kitchen sink
soup all the time.
Yeah, dessert in quotationmarks bacon and and PB donuts.
The PB donut is becoming atrend.
Separate vegetarian sausagesfrom beans, shred.
Mix small amount of vegancheese powder into beer and
allow sausages to marinate Okay,and mixture for three hours.

(39:18):
This is interesting.
Remove sausages from marinadeand bake until crispy and brown.
Allow to cool.
Remove sausages from marinadeand bake until crispy and brown.
Allow to cool.
Drizzle pb on top of mapledonuts.
Top with crumbled sausage,bacon in quotation marks and
crushed up honeyos.
All right, I'm on board.
I'm.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
I'm astounded people are able to do this you know, I
I really like the usage of thatbelgian beer because you know
when, when you were puttingtogether this list, I was
secretly hoping that people weregoing to use the beer to make
like some kind of a batter or asauce of some kind.
And I'm, and I'm so glad thatsomebody's done it.
I'm there might be more, but,megan, I'm glad, I'm glad that

(39:56):
I'm seeing it come out of thegate so early so blech or
bingeableingeable?

Speaker 2 (40:02):
To what degree, oh?

Speaker 1 (40:03):
boy, I'm fully in on two out of three.
Yeah, I'm going to go with afour, and the only reason I'm
going four and not five is thecups the entree cups.
I don't hate them, but I wouldhave liked the macaroni and
cheese and SpaghettiOs to beseparated into different cups.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Like the calzone.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Yeah, but you know we didn't have that information
before.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
This is why scoring is unfair.
Yeah, but also that was theappetizer round.
I'm going to give it a solidthree and a half.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
You know what?
I'm going to go?
Four and a half.
Oh see, to be fair, becausethat was just the appetizer I
gotta.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
I gotta give a half a point, because everything else
was great yeah, I was intoeverything from the appetizer,
the spicy sweet stuff, fruitbites, the super pizza, pasta
cups, the main course.
I mean it could just be thehuman flesh is gonna always be
hard to convince me, um.
But also it wasn't like grosslydescribed, like if it had been
gross and there could have beena higher score maybe there.
And then dessert sounds likeyou're doing the best you can

(41:10):
with the ingredients you've got,so I would try it.
I would try it.
That's why I give it a threeand a half.
What about for ingenuity?

Speaker 1 (41:18):
I'm going to give.
I'm going to give a four foringenuity.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I'm going gonna give it a three just because I've
heard a couple of these thingsbefore.
Oh, yeah, yeah from our fellowuh contestants.
I'm gonna get harder as I scorethis is.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
This is scored on a curve.
So if, if you were, if you wereone of the first people, you
get scored easily, and if you'reat the last one, it's like like
we've already heard this oneTaste Tone.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
I think.
Nicely written, yeah, veryclear and concise.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
You know this would be on Nora Cook's Vegans website
.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Nora and Megan would be friends.
Yeah, saying that now.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
It very much did read like a website recipe.
The only thing that was missingwas like the seven paragraph uh
, life story beforehand, whereit's like my mom, when I was a
little girl, used to cook humanflesh all the time you know this
was a missed opportunity.
Somebody should have given usone of those, but nobody's got

(42:17):
time for that yeah, maybe nextyear yeah, this is, we're doing
this again yeah, next year we'redoing it again and everyone is
required to put their life storybefore, and we'll read the
first couple lines and then skipit.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
Okay, so for taste, I'm going to give a solid three.
I think it was great.
I wasn't blown away yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
I think that's accurate.
I'm going to give three becauseit did the job but didn't
overly flare it.
I didn't viscerally feel it inmy mouth.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
What an end-of-the-world realness.
The Terminus certainly feelsreal.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
I think this is very real.
I think all of the techniquesyou would use to do these things
would be very approachable inthe end of the world.
You could get yourself a littlecrock pot, a little Dutch oven,
and you'd probably be able todo just about anything.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
I'm going to give a solid three just because it
didn't quite meet like the Zachlevel of realness.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
Yeah, zach is at the bar, you're going to go with
four.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yeah Well, guess what ?
We're actually curving on apositive curve because Megan's
our third contestant and has thehighest score.
Yeah, 28 points, 28 points, allright.
Moving on to the SylvesterBarzee Zombie Ween King, will he
also be the apocalyptic choppedking?

Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Double, crown.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Previous.
Culinary masterpieces includeBarbecue Sue.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Yes, from Zombie Ween 2025.
2024.
I would say 2025 because it'scoming.
I'm excited for it.
I also did learn that sylvesterbarzi is a fan of chopped the
show, so I have highexpectations.
Let's see how he does also.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
I like I get the impression that sylvester barzi
knows his way around a kitchen.
I get that feeling.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Like just because of the barbecue soup and how nicely
it was described.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
It's just a vibe I get Like.
If we go to Sylvester Barzy'shouse, he's like oh, I'm going
to show you something.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
I always so envious.
I'm very deficient in thiscategory, probably because I've
atrophied that muscle over time.
So Sylvester Barzy is an authorof so many books with just a
couple highlights uh, the deadsoil, or sorry, I always say
that there's not, that it's justdead soil.
It's a great book.
Dead soil had an interviewabout that also this last winter
and the planet dead series,another great zombie series, and

(44:37):
a plethora of horror books.
For the appetizer, sylvestersays beef stuffed, fried mac
balls with a pretzel crust and asweet and spicy dipping sauce.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
All right.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah, Meatballs from SpaghettiOs for filling pizza,
kit dough and peanut butterpretzels for breadcrumbs and
dried fruit puree infused withhot sauce Also sounds great.

Speaker 1 (44:57):
Yeah, what I like about this is that it's picking
ingredients out of what he hasto work with.
It's picking ingredients out ofwhat he has to work with.
And also, the puree of thedried fruit is a great idea,
because just throwing some driedfruit in the middle of all,
that would have been prettyupsetting, I'll be honest.
But you puree it up, maybe turnit into a powder or a

(45:19):
gelatinous form.
You can turn it into somethinggood.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yeah, it mixes a little bit better I'm already
gonna give you a preview thatyou're gonna get a lower um end
of the world realness score forme, because I think it would be
really hard to make a puree oflike dried fruit unless you had
re-infused it with more liquidthan just hot sauce, unless it
was a lot of hot sauce and alittle dried fruit we have an
unlimited amount to whatever,true, I guess you were thinking

(45:43):
that it's dried fruit.
We're not talking like gummiedfruit or okay, well, dried
fruit's still gummy, though Ithink that would be hard to
puree.
I'm gonna try it then.
I guess, I guess we do.
Main course, cheese dusted longpork on a bed of mashed potato
puree and peach hummus thatsounds fucking good.
Good, yeah, how does?

Speaker 1 (46:04):
peach hummus work Again the peach and potato.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Well it's, I don't know, I don't know how it works.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
I just thought you'd have the answers.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
Sounds feasible, maybe because, oh, they've used
the beans, oh okay, to bringinto the peach, yeah, yeah,
grouted Cheez-Its into powder todust the human skin.
Pork brines.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, that's a great idea.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Peanuts, peaches and beans for hummus.
Oh see, Sylvester alwaysexplains Thick potato soup for
mashed potato puree, dessertround Crunchy honey, peanut
butter, stuffed donuts with abeer, glaze and cheese fondue.
All of that sounds good to thecheese fondue.
I don't know, I don't know.
Oh, I mean it could work.
I know beer and cheese gotogether, but I'm not convinced

(46:48):
about the rest honey that could.
So the ingredients are honeyoscrushed and mixed with peanut
butter for filling sliced donutslike bagels.
Belgian beer and baked beansauce for glazes.
Cheesy mac cheese sauce forfondue okay yeah, or I'm really
pleasantly surprised that I amnot like wanting to vomit, to
vomit very much so far.
Yeah, I'm mostly like I wouldtry this.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
You know, sylvester was in the army.
I was in the army and myfeeling about my time in the
field, when MREs tended to comewith a packet of either cheese
sauce or peanut butter, was thatit's not a good idea to mix

(47:27):
them.
That's why they come inseparate, separate.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
It um, uh, I don't have.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
I don't have a short answer for this.
Oh, uh, I'm just going to saydiarrhea.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Oh, that is a short answer.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
And it's.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
It's a lot longer of an answer, but that's just the
one I'm going to give you.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
You know, the cheese sauce is greasy and spicy,
whereas the peanut butter isthick and sweet and oily, and
all of those oils can coalescetogether in a manner that is
unsatisfying.
I feel like this would be alittle bit different of a
scenario, because we're talkingabout a high-quality Teddy's

(48:14):
peanut butter as what isindicated in the imagery that
you gave for this challenge, andthen a cheese sauce from a mac
and cheese pack.
This does not sound likesomething that I would want to
risk.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
But you're not putting them together, you're
just dipping it, so it doesn'tmatter.
It's still ending up in yourstomach at the same time, even
if they're two different sauces.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Oh no, I think, sylvester, you've tanked
yourself with Dan.
I was like but that's not onthe list.
I'm not being able to.
I can't predict the diarrheahere and when I read this I want
to try it.
Minus again.
I'm not really into either.
Sauces are where it's gettingme here for a lot of these
choices.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Look, if it weren't the apocalypse, I would risk it.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
But I would eat everything, I would try
everything here.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
So I think what that's actually going to do is
that is going to affect my endtimes realness score, Because in
the end times I'm not going torisk peanut butter and a cheese
sauce at the same time.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
So your score has to be lower Mine.
I'm going to give a five.
You know why am I giving it?
Because I like you, sylvester,it's good.
I believe in this.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
I'm going to go with a four for end times realness.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
What about taste and tone?
Let's go four and a half.
It's described with flair,drama horror.
Yeah, there's definitely flair.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
I think it was good, but it wasn't as illustrative as
others.
Okay, so I'm going to give it asolid three.
You said four, yeah, okay, whatabout ingenuity?
I got to say high up there.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, I think the ingenuity is right up there.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
Like I said, I really like the way the individual
items of food yeah, the beefstuffed fried mac balls, the
pretzel crust and a sweet andspicy dipping sauce.
Yeah, sounds delicious.
So I'm going to go, and I thinkthat there's some ingenuity
there.
I would never have put thefruit and the hot sauce and made

(50:11):
it a puree.
Personally, I don't know.
We'll see what people do.
I'm going to give a four and ahalf.
You know, four and a half.
I'm going to give a four.
No, I'm going to give a three,just because I've given three to
everybody else and I feel likeI'm inflating my scores.
Every person.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Sorry, sorry, sylvester, I did give you a five
for end of the world realness,just because I like you.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
And B blech or bingeability.
I think this is also a solidmenu.
I would say a four.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah, I'm going to give a four and a half Wow.
And what really sells me is thecheese, that dusted human flesh
, that dusted human flesh.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Cheese dusted human flesh.
Yeah, it sounds good.
Yeah, well, sylvester isleading the challenge at 32
points.
Wow, yeah, I'm so sorry, nora,that I read yours first.
There's just you weren't goingto.
Let's see if Gerard can beatthe score of 32.
So we have Gerard Clark beatthe score of 32.
So we have Gerard Clark, authorof the End, also a guest from

(51:11):
2025, who provided us with oneof the ingredients in this
challenge that I don't remember,but one of them, gerard.
Which one was it again, yeah,let us know.
Let us know.
Okay, so they, they have a bitof a story here.
They say, all right, all right,all right, I had to use AI to
create the pics, but gave vividinstructions for these
masterpieces of culinary delight.
Oh, there's pics.

(51:31):
Yeah, oh, dan, should you readthis in a mix of Canadian and
Irish accent, can you do?

Speaker 1 (51:40):
that how Channel Gerard.
Oh so like a Newfie accent.
Don't say that oh so like aNewfie accent.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Don't say that.
First of all, okay, pausing fora public service announcement
that the term Newfie isdiscriminatory.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Oh well, I'm not Canadian, so I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
I know.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
That's why I'm making a public service announcement.
I didn't see the PSAs.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Leah, there were none .
I just learned over timebecause we used to make a lot of
jokes, jokes about people fromnewfoundland around the table as
a kid and I didn't know anybetter.
Okay, but yeah, so I probablyshouldn't do the accent that
term, no, no, you shouldn't.
That term is for people fromnewfoundland, okay, um, and it's

(52:20):
frankly a classist thingbecause it's about it's really
about class and wealth oh well,I don't know any of those things
.
But do you think you can try?
Try to do a British or an Irish.
Probably not.
Okay, we'll keep going then.
I've been to a few classes atGordon Ramsay's Academy in
London and I think I've done himproud.
Oh, I do remember Gerard sayingthat Instantly, you've given

(52:42):
yourself credibility.
So everything you say next, I'mgoing to believe you, because
Gordon Ramsey would not tolerateanything less than perfection.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
That's true, but also we have to score this as if we
are Gordon Ramsey.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
Oh, is that what we have to do now?

Speaker 1 (53:00):
I think so Okay, Because.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
I mean Can you channel Gordon Ramsey?

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Because I don't know if I can be that way, let me
channel Gordon Ramsey.
Do you need to watch a quicklike reference?
Yeah, let's.
Okay, I'm I'm.
I'm gathering the abuse withinme.
Okay, I'm so sorry, theexplosive rage.
Okay, I'm coming up with somecatchphrases uh, like, like.

(53:25):
Uh, what you call this food,this is what dogs eat.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Okay, I'm ready hold on, I have to google gordon
ramsey catchphrases to make sureyou are being accurate.
This isn't a pizza, this is amistake, this is an italian
tragedy.
Hold on, I gotta read a fewothers.
Oh, that's really nice.
Actually, gordon, if you wantto become a great chef, you have

(53:50):
to work with great chefs.
That's exactly what I did, andthat's what Gerard did, by going
to the Gordon Ramsey school.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Yeah, alright, I think we have to go to Gerard's
house too.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Oh, I think this is perfect.
I don't Nope, never, never mind.
This makes no sense.
I'm looking at a meme that sayswho left raw pork in here?
From um, gordon ramsey, andthen the, the guy from fast and
the furious, whose names I don'tremember.
He's still alive, if that helpsyou.
Other famous guy, ben dieselyes, ben diesel's in a car and
he says don't need food safetywhen you got family.

(54:23):
Gordon Ramsay is leaned forwardin his chef's white outfit with
a pencil behind his ear andsays your family died from food
poisoning.
That's a good meme.
I think I'm going to have toput that as part of our episode
Thumbnails.
Hold on, I'm going to copypaste it Moving on.

(54:46):
So you're ready to be gordonramsay oh yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
So I mean, I've literally never watched any of
gordon ramsay's tv shows do yourbest blend in some simon, yeah,
I saw.
I saw the, the show where hewas actually really nice and
went around the world umlearning different techniques
from uh, different chefs badpeople can play nice sometimes
you know, like, uh, like helearned how to make like a

(55:12):
legitimate pulled noodle noodlesfrom a noodle shop in japan and
uh, he was very appreciativeand uh respectful of the noodle
pulling master the noodlepulling master of which there
are, like three in the world,noodles who have perfected the
art of pulling noodles.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
Sorry, I'm just picturing their LinkedIn.
Their tagline says noodlepulling master.
I'm sure it's a very seriousthing.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
I'm sorry it is a traditional and time honored
profession.
I'm really sorry, from a timewhen pasta makers didn't exist
and you had to pull noodles fromdough by hand.
Leah, the disrespect of theprofession of noodle puller.

(56:12):
Leah.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
I really I respect, I respect I'm trying to say it I
respect, I respect noodlepulling.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I didn't know this was gonnahappen today noodle pulling okay
, I didn't know this was goingto happen today.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Okay, I need a minute .
Everyone's going to be like.
My favorite episode was the onewhere Leah laughed for 25
minutes straight after sayingthe word noodle puller.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
I can't breathe.
You're doing that thing you dosometimes.
I don't consent to laughingmore.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
You have to stop.
You're the one laughing.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
You're the one saying the funny things.
I just want everybody to know.
The dance made me cry.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
There's literal tears coming from Leah's eyes.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
You can hear me sniffling.
Okay, we need to read Gerard'smenu.
I'm starting from the beginningand you should click on my
cursor in the Google Docs so youcan see these images.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
All right, gerard, you're going to get the respect
you deserve.
I'm going to read this from thestart, all right, all right,
all right, you're right, you'regonna get the respect you
deserve.
I'm gonna read this from startall right, all right, all right.
I had to use ai to create thepics, but gave vivid
instructions for thesemasterpieces of culinary delight
.
I've been to a few classes atgordon ramsay's academy in
london and I think I have donehim proud.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Oh, this is where we just went, totally lost
ourselves when we talked aboutgordon ramsay going to learn how
to pull those noodles.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
I'm not going to laugh For an Appy.
I have created ApocalypticPizza, a simple pizza base
spaghettios loaded with hotsauce.
For the sauce, mac and cheesetopped with peanut butter,
pretzels and dried fruit mix.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
I mean, you had me until the dried fruit mix.
But you know, what I love isthat somebody made a pizza out
of the pizza kit.
Yeah, seems really kit.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
Yeah, seems really smart.
Yeah, the visuals interesting.
I got to say that, yeah, thedried fruit mix is the least
appealing, which is surprisingfor me to say, because it would
probably be the closest I couldget to like pineapple on a pizza
.
Yeah, I mean, maybe there's acanned pineapple, yeah, maybe
there's a dried pineapple inthere and just pick out
everything that's not apineapple for the main course we

(58:29):
have stews stew extra creamypotato stew with petite with
extra creamy potato stew withbeans, peanuts and real chunks
of stewart rip.
Oh, poor stewart.
So I guess stewart's not beingkept alive in this case.
Top Topped with Cheez-Its andpeaches the little chef hand the
hand emoji.

(58:50):
Yeah, I got to say that thevisual that AI made for this
does look appealing.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
Yeah, even the peaches.
If I don't think too hard aboutit, even the peaches look like
they belong in this soup.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
I think we're going to have to try peaches and
potatoes after this.

Speaker 1 (59:04):
I think so.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Yeah, there might be something there.
And for dessert we have thepalate cleanser Donuts with a
quotation marks cheese, becauseit's vegan cheese and peanut
butter sauce oh, already you'regoing to be upset Topped with
baked beans, vegan sausages andhoneyos.
Why is it called the palatecleanser?

(59:26):
I hear you ask.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Because as soon as it goes down, down, it's coming
back up again.
Okay, that's true.
So wash it down.
The nice bottle of belgian beer.
You know?
Vomit emoji, beer emoji.
Yeah, you know where, where Itook off points before for the
combination of peanut butter andcheese.
Um, you have to add it back,especially seeing the image.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Can you describe the image?

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Dan.
Well, we've got a nice bottleof beer that just says Belgium
on it.
Thank you, ai.
What looks like a pile ofdonuts, the very top, is some
cereals, the honeyos dropped onthe top and cascading down the

(01:00:07):
sides.
The second layer, under the topdonut, is some beans and then
it just looks like there's somecheese and the third level
dripping down over some hot dogs, yes, and hot dogs obviously
being human flesh, right.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
No, I'm wrong, they're the vegetarian sausages,
right?
Okay, yeah beans and vegetariansausage, and then more cereal
and also some like looks likesome peanut butter yeah, it
looks um.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Oh god it does.
It does look like it.
I mean, my stomach hurts justlooking at it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
To be honest, it is if I can like squint a little
bit and believe that the donutsare maybe buns.
Nope, that's bad too, becauseI'm thinking about how fucking
soggy they'd be.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
Oh, oh yeah, they'd be covered in, they'd be
drenched in bean sauce they'd beso soggy, yeah, um.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Okay, let's start with the blech or binge binge
ability.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
I gotta give high marks here oh, because I think
it's both like that's what makesit high.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
I think that makes it a five oh man um the app's
delicious sounding minus thedried fruit, unless you're a
pineapple person, which I am, somaybe I would like it and as
awful as that dessert looks, Ican't deny that I would,
probably I would.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
I would succumb you try it.
I would succumb to, to thesiren's call of the cheese
dripping down the side of thedonut would you just like pick
up the donut, like lick thecheese off of it I, I feel like
something like that, because itwas, it's, it's, it's in a pile,
like you're gonna have to justgo in face first.

(01:01:45):
You just start at the top andyou just push your face down
into it until you're done Like atrough.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
I mean, that's just, I guess.
Embrace your inner toddler,right?
You don't have to look.
Good, it's the apocalypse.
I'm going to give it a four forbinge ability.
I think it's pretty solid.
It's up there.
You're supposed to be gordonramsey, dan, yeah, what would
gordon ramsey say?
What do you say?

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
this is perfection I mean, gordon ramsey would give
it a zero, but I think I'm gonnagive it a four.
I think I'm with you on thisone okay, solid four.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
What about ingenuity, you know, I think, using the
pizza actually as a pizza?
Yeah, that's pretty goodingenuity, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
I thought about a lot of the things that I would do
when we were putting thistogether, and I never once
thought about making a pizza, sousing it as intended is
actually very ingenuous.
Where we're lacking ingenuityis using the belgian beer as a

(01:02:49):
belgian beer I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
I think I'm gonna give this a solid like three.
It's not quite a four, but athree and a half oh, I was gonna
say three and a half.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
I'm trying not to copy you, leah, but I told you
we agree too much, yeah that'sokay.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
It gives the higher numbers.
That's exciting.
Uh, taste and tone.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
I gotta give this one , I think, a five yeah, five for
taste and tone I think that'saccurate because not only not
only was it described very welland did it paint a visceral
picture in my, in my mind, butalso visual references were
given which nobody listeningbenefited from.
But I assure you, um, you areon the winning side for not

(01:03:30):
having to see the dessert.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Yeah.
So what would you give for thetea of bite A five.
Yeah, okay, we are on to end ofthe world.
Realness, no, um, sue, stufeels real the pizza also that
feels real.
It feels real as well.
Again, it's the dessert whereit gets unhinged, and I'm going
to give it a four for thatreason.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
Yeah, I'm going to give it a three and a half
because I need to be differentfrom you.
Very important and, uh, andyeah, that dessert really, well,
guess what Really upset me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Do you think Sylvester or Gerard have the
higher score?

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
Oh, I already looked.
Well, then you can let theworld know, gerard, you have
half a point more than Sylvester.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
Gerard is in the lead .
We've literally just gone fromNora at 24 and we've inflated
our score to Gerard at 32 and ahalf.
Yeah, and weirdly, I'm gettinghungry, and I really wasn't
anticipating this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Yeah, this is going to make me hungry.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
All right, we are halfway through the challenge.
Let's move on to Jack Callahan,author of Zombie, nerd and
Half-Turned Harrowing.
Alright, you said you weregoing to read this one, dan,
because of your French accent.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Oh yeah, I can pronounce French words really
good.
Alright, are you ready, Leah,for my mastery of the French
language?
I'm ready.
Fessin Apalactique Menu parmonsieur Jacques Callahan.
Jacques Callahan Entry.
Dried fruit brought back to itsnatural state of plumpness with

(01:05:02):
a tantalizing hot saucemarinade.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Zesty tang of the fruit, accented by the oral
scorched earth policy of thesauce Accurate.
It's like there's a party inyour mouth and you're not
allowed to leave.
That's the worst kind of party.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
The roof is on fire.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
The roof of your mouth.
It's bad.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Moving on to the plaid principle.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
It sounds like plaid principle but it's L-A-T Plaid
principle, the principle plate.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
I'll translate yeah, cheesa infused potato soup.
Okay, that's a win.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
I don't think it would be, because potato soup's
already got like a thickness toit.
You add the Cheesa, it's goingto be like a glop.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
Oh, it's infused.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
Yeah, oh yeah oozed, yeah, oh yeah, you didn't know
here.
If you know like you added someextra liquid from, say, the
peach salt, the peach can orsomething like that, I'd be like
, okay, I believe it, but it'snot there um well, jack assures
us that it is soothing and warm,like an unwashed jumper or a
hug from a boneless grandparenthave you ever been hugged by a

(01:06:02):
boneless grandparent?
Yeah, once what was it like?

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
it was really mushy, which is what this sounds like.
It sounds like it'd be reallymushy, and you know what jack
owns that oh, I just realizedthe hug from a boneless
grandparent is the meat.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Oh, oh, oh, wow.
You know what?
I think that grandparents love,love their grandchildren enough
that they would be okay withthis.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
The Viende Humani with a peach reduction glaze and
bean medley side.
Oh, I like the bean medley as aside.
You don't have to put it all inone bowl, I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
I love this.
There is a vegetarian option,but you'll have to catch one
first.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
What do you have to?

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
catch the vegetarian oh.

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
You know I'm one of the few people I've got a very
controversial take oncannibalism.
I think it's actually the mostvegan thing you can eat, only if
they're rich.
I mean, think about all theanimals that you're helping by
eating a human yeah, one eatenhuman probably saves like in a

(01:07:19):
lifetime, like thousands ofanimals likely.
Yeah, um, let's move on.
Leah to lead dessert.
Peanut butter filled donuts.
This is becoming a favorite.
Everybody is doing peanutbutter filled donuts.
I feel like we have to amendall of our scores Too late.

(01:07:39):
That's too much work, sorry.
The filling should be usedsparingly Okay, that's a change.
Most people are just gloppingit on there.
That's true.
Used sparingly Okay, that's achange.
Most people are just gloppingit on there.
This is sparingly.
Not only will this prevent itfrom compromising the lightness
of the donut pastry, but if anyof your guests have an allergy,
you plan on killing them.

(01:07:59):
They won't notice it right away.
I was not anticipating it.
Would recommend a raise of theeyebrow followed by a
declaration of Well, my friend,it would appear that the real
dessert shall be me savoring thesweet taste of your death.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
A garnish of maniacal laughter is optional.
Hold on.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Nero is looking at me very strangely.
Yeah, ziggy's passed out, ziggydid not wake up for any of that
.

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
Wow, that took a turn .
I didn't expect.

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
All right Well.

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
That was okay, really good, but I got to say, like
the very creative Z Martin Brown, jack Callahan, I think he's
missing some ingredients.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
It's true, or at least didn't mention them.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Yeah, Because for dessert we've got peanut butter,
we've got donuts and we have amurderer and a murdered and
laughter, but that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
Yeah, which, I guess, is how you get the human flesh.

Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
Well, but you've had the human flesh before.
It's notparent.
Remember your bonelessgrandparent, the sacrifice, oh,
it was for you well, that's forthe yeah, so I think you get a
free hug and food.
This is another example of like.
This is really great and Ithink it might be all close to
close to all fives across theboard, except for the fact that
they're missing some ingredientsyeah points, points off, points
off for every single categoryyeah, let's start at the
beginning okay blech, orbingeability, uh oh boy um, the

(01:09:33):
appetizer with the, the driedfruit brought back to life with
hot sauce.
I could not eat that, so that'sa high level of blech, because I
am curious though um, my dad'slips burned literally from
eating a green pepper once.
Yeah, not a spicy green pepper,a regular bell pepper yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
So that's a that's going to be a five out of five
for me on the blech immediately.
That's not.
They're not feasible for me toconsume.

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
Yeah, I forgot that the scores also work this way.
The soup sounded mushy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
And unsoothing and warm.
Warm like an unwashed jumper,yeah, or a hug from a boneless
grandparent.
Wait, is the jumper also aperson here?
I was imagining a piece of likean item of clothing but, now
I'm picturing like a somebodywho jumped to their death and
was also unwashed.

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
You're high but you know what could be either either
one there's, you know like theycould.
They could both work um in theuk.
A jumper is a sweatshirt oh wow.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
That's not what I was picturing at all, but still
gross.
I'm gonna give you a four,because I would have given you a
five on the blech bingeabilityscale.

Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
Yeah I'm gonna go with a three, because it all
sounds very um, so actually atwo British yeah, oh, you're
just taking points off for beingBritish.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Yeah, wow, I bet you Gerard, with their Irish
heritage, really loves that.
I bet are we trying to start afeud in the UK?
Yeah okay, so you gave it a twoand I gave it a four Ingenuity.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
Well, I'm going to go with a three, because not all
the ingredients were used.
So, actually, and also thepeanut butter donut.
I'm sorry it's on a curve atthis point and we've had, we've
had like five peanut butterdonuts at this point.
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
I think ingenuity is like we're not talking about the
writing, because that's thetaste and tone portion of the
bite scale, but for ingenuity of, like the ingredients, I would
say a solid three as well, which, unfortunately, jack, gives you
a two Taste and tone.
I'm going to also say you knockthis out of the fucking park.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
Yeah, fives, fives, so fives across the board.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
you get a four from each of us, but it would be five
if it was all the ingredients.
Yeah, uh end of the worldrealness, oh oh yeah, I think
it's pretty real.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
Murder.
Yeah, the murder.
Yeah, killing people withpeanut butter.
Um, eating your bonelessgrandparent?
Yeah, putting hot sauce ondried fruit because you think
it'll bring it back to life, ormaybe you don't want to taste
what you have to eat next yeah,like I'm just so fucking sick of
dried fruit, I'm just gonna puthot sauce all over it.

(01:12:17):
I had a friend in afghanistanwho, uh, who just smothered his
food and and mustard every day.
Uh, doesn't matter what it was,he put mustard on it and I'm
like, you know, after a longtime I I'm like, wow, I didn't
really.
You know, I've never metanybody who liked mustard as
much as you and he's like Idon't like mustard.
I'm like, but you put it oneverything.
He's like that's because whenmustard is on food, you can't

(01:12:40):
taste anything but the mustard.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
And he did it to cover up the horrible taste of
the food we were eating, was it?

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
that bad it was, did you start putting mustard in all
of your food?
I didn't, okay, but what I diddo is, every single day, I wrote
out a um, a suggestion for thesuggestion box that suggested
that all of the cooks be firedand sent back home.
Oh, because the food was soterrible, and I would also
explain how much diarrhea itgave me.

Speaker 2 (01:13:11):
Because of the peanut butter and cheese sauce combo
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
So much peanut butter and cheese sauce.
This is feeling very real foryou, Dan.

Speaker 2 (01:13:19):
I'm going to give this a solid four for End of the
World Realness because of themurder which ends up being a
three, sadly so for you.
What would you do?

Speaker 1 (01:13:28):
oh boy, uh.
Yeah, I'll give it a fivebecause I do think that this is
something that that jack wouldcook in the end of the world.
I really like the flair of thefrench menu.
Um, I feel like jack wouldwould absolutely open a fancy
restaurant at the end of theworld.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
I feel like Jack is going to claim discrimination
after I read this score 25.
Oh no, so Gerard Clark is stillin the lead at 32.5.
Sorry, jack, it's the lack ofall the ingredients which, if I
was being fair, I wouldn't obeythat criteria, because so many
people asked me and I don't.
Chopped is an American show, somaybe this is actual
discrimination because Jack andI don't.

(01:14:06):
Chopped is an American show.
So, like, maybe this is actualdiscrimination because, jack,
you don't know that it requiresthem all.
Wait, didn't you give me onewhere it does have them all?
Oh, did I read the wrong one?
Hold on, correction Everybody.
I think Jack is in the leadbecause I read the wrong menu.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
Oh, no, leah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:22):
Oh no I, I, oh no I, I.
so jack sent an email thischanges wednesday, july 9th, 5,
51 pm, with the original, whichis what I read and I thought I
copy pasted the right one.
I guess I didn't, uh, then onthursday, so plenty of time for
me to notice, and in fact Iresponded.
But anyways, on thursday theysent me oh, here's the revised

(01:14:43):
version, using all theingredients this time, and they
were super polite and kind andsaid, like you know, sorry for
the confusion, damn it.
And then why do you have to benice two hours?

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
ago.
It's so much easier to give youlow scores when, when I don't
know that you're being nicebehind the scenes yeah then,
jack.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
I wrote jack back two hours ago, received and
included in the episode.
You rock jack, you lovingly areyou wonderful curmudgeonly
human on the other side of theocean whom we adore oh my god,
we gotta give all of his pointsback.
Okay, well, I gotta read theparts that were added okay or
changed okay.
so for the entree rounds, theappetizer for us, the entry.

(01:15:22):
The entry, yes, mac and cheeseand spaghettio pizza crust
poppers with a peanut butterpretzel crumb coating, an
explosion of flavor or, moreaccurately, a strike on the back
of the head.
Whoa, these take turns.
A strike on the back of thehead of the hammer by a man that
shouts flavor.
Oh my god, oh Okay, that wasfunny, so let's keep going.

(01:15:53):
We'll see how we want to amendour scores.
So the plot principal wascorrect.
It had everything that was inthere.
It had the peach reductionglaze, the bean medley and
peanut side and the vegetarianoption.
The dessert is where it changescompletely.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:16:10):
Les desserts, phil donut roulette.
Your guests choose from thetray, their hands shaking with a
mixture of excitement and dread.
Which will they get?
Perhaps peanut butter?
Perhaps beans?
Oh, this is like that jellybean game.
Oh, you know what I'm talkingabout where you know yeah, tasty
or terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:16:27):
It's like, does this one taste like vomit?

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
then jack says personally I find nothing more
delicious than a bean filleddonut on brand.
I mean it could be good, I?
I mean jack is the king ofbeans, not the king of zombie
weaned, but definitely the kingof beans.
The damn things have nine gramsof sugar per tin anyways, so
they're technically a dessert intheir own right.
I agree, that's true.
I've had like those uh blackbean brownies, which are pretty

(01:16:52):
good oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16:53):
Well, I think these are baked beans, and baked beans
are always like really sweet,which?

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
is why I love them uh , then jack says, whatever the
outcome, at least they'll have abeer to wash the taste away.
If any of your don't drinkalcohol, either due to health
reasons or because there's somesort of teetotal straight edge
wuss, then they're out of luck,aren't they?

Speaker 1 (01:17:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:12):
Wow, I guess they are .
Jack.
My family is a bunch ofalcoholics.
This is deeply offensive.
Note.
You'll notice that each courseon the menu contains a dish
which includes peanuts.
If any of your guests have anallergy and you plan on killing
them, you will have threeopportunities to do so.
I recommend a raise of theeyebrow, followed by a

(01:17:35):
declaration of well, my friend,it would seem the finest dish of
the evening shall be mesavoring the sweet taste of your
death, and then, more maniacallaughter.

Speaker 1 (01:17:44):
Oh my God, this changes everything.
It does it, does it, does wehave to rescore?
I was so satisfied giving Jacka low score, I gave so.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
I'm going to say five for bite, yeah For for a black
bingeable.
On the three for you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
God, ingenuity goes skyrocketed, it's skyrocketed.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
Give it a four.
I was originally a three.
I'm give it a four.
I was originally a three, I'mgonna make it.
I'm gonna make mine a four.
Okay, uh, taste and tone alsoimproved, I'm gonna do 4.5.
I don't think it's the very,very best.
I think it's a five, but youthink it's a solid five.
Okay, uh, end of the worldrealness uh boy I'm gonna stick
with my original score, yeah I'mgonna go stick with my original

(01:18:23):
score okay, well, jack, you maybe the king of beans, you, son
of a bitch, because you have ascore of 34.5, knocking your
irish author friend out of therunning ah, I hate that jack's
winning well, that could changebased on the trend of the
episode.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Don't let us down everybody else we have alice b
sullivan oh, alice, alice won'tlet us down.

Speaker 2 (01:18:50):
Alice, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, knock jack
out yeah, alice is a friend ofours that we got to meet in real
life.
I'm sorry if you hear our dogliterally gagging in the
background, are you okay?

Speaker 1 (01:18:59):
yeah, he looked at the picture of the donut pile
thing.
He's like no, yeah, I showed itto him and he's just like
that's not funny.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
So Alice is an author as well.
She's written quite a fewwonderful zombie novels,
including Elementary Undead,which is book one for the Undead
series, and the Aftermathseries, which we are reading the
novella right now for which iscalled the Collapse.
We're going to be talking toher this summer when she comes
to visit yeah.
For which is called theCollapse.
We're going to be talking toher this summer when she comes
to visit.
Yeah, that's going to be great.
This is Alice's appetizer.
Using the sauce from theSpaghettiOs and the cheese from

(01:19:33):
a pizza kit, I'd make a mac andcheese and dry fruit cap.
Nero doesn't like this at all.

Speaker 4 (01:19:37):
Alice and that would be especially offensive to Alice
, who loves animals.

Speaker 2 (01:19:42):
I'm sorry, alice.
To be fair, I don't think nerolikes spaghettios.
Okay, restarting, using thesauce and spaghettios and the
cheese from the pizza kit, I'dmake a mac and cheese and dry
fruit casserole.
That is gross, I agree nerowith a peanut butter pretzel
base and crumb topping drizzledwith hot sauce.
The drizzle of the hot saucemakes sense yeah, the dried

(01:20:04):
fruit casserole.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
Oh my god that's just .

Speaker 2 (01:20:08):
That's diabolical in a whole other way entree fried
human flesh breaded with crushedpeanuts and cheez-its okay
topped with a sauce made frompeach syrup, mashed peaches and
soup, served over with thepotatoes from the soup pan.

Speaker 1 (01:20:22):
Roasted potatoes and bean medley yeah, that sounds,
yeah, that sounds like a nicedinner.

Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
It does Sounds pretty regular.
We have heard the crushedpeanuts and cheeses before
that's come up a couple times.
Dessert Honey-o's and peanutbutter layered bar Okay, With
cheesy vegan mac and donutcrumble topped with a Belgian
beer.
Wait what?
Oh, it's a reduction.
Okay, sorry, I had to get tothe end of that sentence to
think it was good.
Topped with a Belgian beer,mashed beans and a vegetable

(01:20:49):
sausage reduction.

Speaker 1 (01:20:51):
Wow, that is a strange reduction it is.
I'm trying to imagine it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
You've got all these layers of sweet and then you
have this sauce reduction that'ssalty and hoppy.
I like the idea of the bar whenI read the ingredients like
peanut honeyos and peanut buttersounds good.
I'm always thrown by the cheesymac and donut crumble um top of
the belgian beer mash bean andvegetable sausage reduction.
This is disgusting, but you'vemade it sound good, which I
think is actually likeeverything that you've written.
You weren't like doubling downon the disgusting.
You made it sound good if Ididn't pay a lot of attention to

(01:21:33):
the ingredients.

Speaker 1 (01:21:35):
Yeah, if that was just in a menu, yeah, I'd be
like okay.
You'd be like, yeah, sure.
And then you get it and you'relike what the fuck?
You know, if you?

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
just like skip over the ingredients.
It's a layered bar with acrumble, topped with a reduction
.
Sounds delicious.
Yeah, uh, okay, uh, blah, orbingeability, blah, okay.
What's your blast score?
Oh boy, that's like a four blahokay, I think it's a four
because I believed it was gooduntil I realized it was blah

(01:22:03):
ingenuity oh, um, you know I I'mgoing to go, I'm going to go
with a three, because there'ssome elements here that we see a
lot.

Speaker 1 (01:22:12):
I feel like you could have done a little bit more of
the entree.
The entree was good, um, but Ithink, I think we could have
done more.

Speaker 2 (01:22:21):
I'm going to go three and a half because I really
appreciated this is the firstperson to have a reasonable
amount of hot sauce.
In my opinion, with drizzle ofhot sauce, drizzle, yeah, a
little drizz, taste and tone.
I mean I think it was.
It was clearly a nicely writtenUm, it's again sort of like
Nora's.

Speaker 1 (01:22:43):
It read like what you'd see on a menu menu and
again I would order this andthen realize when it got to me
that that was a bad idea.
Yeah, I'd say three and a half.
Three and a half, yeah, um, andagain like I would order it,
and then I'd be like what, the,what, the fuck I think three and
a half is fair.

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
Yeah well, that's at least end of the world realness.
Could you picture alicewhipping this up for us in our
survivor group kitchen?

Speaker 1 (01:22:58):
yeah, I think so.
Um, do I think it's the bestuse of of those ingredients?
You know, I feel like none ofnot not very many of these
recipes are a good usage ofthese ingredients, when they
could just be eaten alone,probably, to better effect.
But, uh, one thing that I didlike is using the donuts as a
crumble yes, that was also veryinnovative um and yeah, I you

(01:23:23):
know what I gotta up my, myingenuity score for that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:26):
Yeah, I'm gonna bring that up to a four and a half,
because the crumb, the, thecrumble was a great idea yeah,
um, so under the times, realist,I'll give a four.
A four, yeah I'm gonna give athree.
Oh, alice, you've broken thetrend.
Oh, oh, no, alice, I'm so sorry.
I would have ordered your menu,but it's a 30, meaning that
Jack Callahan, zombie bean king,is in the lead.

Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
I mean it's hard to compete with the zombie bean
king.

Speaker 2 (01:23:55):
It is, but we have a special interruption from WZMB
Dead Air Radio.
Oliver Gray has a little clipfor us, so we couldn't imagine
leaving out our friends fromMeval Valley who have been
through a lot.
They are actually in a reallife apocalypse right now and
Oliver Gray is the host of theonly radio show that I'm aware

(01:24:19):
of that still exists in theirapocalyptic realm.

Speaker 1 (01:24:21):
Yeah, it's the only one I've heard.

Speaker 2 (01:24:23):
So we decided to airdrop all of the ingredients
for Oliver, because actuallythey need them.

Speaker 1 (01:24:28):
So Oliver actually made all of these things?
Is what you're saying?

Speaker 2 (01:24:31):
Oliver wait, what do you mean?
Made all of these things?
Oh, it's like to eat, yeah,unlike everybody else, this is a
real situation for Oliver.

Speaker 1 (01:24:38):
Yeah this is all Oliver has to eat.
So keep that in mind, everybody, while you're listening to this
, that this is the food thatOliver has to survive on good
morning, mevo Valley.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
This is Oliver broadcasting from WZMB, where
the only thing more expired thanmy broadcasting license is my
will to cook.
I have no announcement today.
No curfews, no HOA.
The only thing more expiredthan my broadcasting license is
my will to cook.
Oh no, I have no announcementtoday.
No curfews, no HOA.
Passive, aggressive letters,just a nearly dead battery and a
story to share.
So I'm going to make this quick.
A few days ago, I received afood drop from my benefactors.

(01:25:15):
I'm not sure it could be themilitary group.
It could be a group of localsurvivors.
It could be a raccoon with anadvanced pulley system.
Honestly, at this point, Ithink I might trust the raccoons
a little more.
Oh no, the box was simplylabeled Party Box, which at this
point I know was a warning nota promise.

(01:25:38):
Inside the box was a completelybaffling collection of items
that seemed less like rationsand more like a dare, and I can
only assume that this was puttogether by the undead
themselves.
But I am resourceful and alittle unhinged, so I turned
this into a three-course meal.
As an appetizer, I made acouple little Hot Pockets Made

(01:26:00):
with pizza dough, stuffed withmac and cheese, peanut butter,
pretzel bites and chios enoughhot sauce to simulate a
near-death experience servedwith the dipping sauce made out
of spaghettios and crushed driedfruit.
You know, for the main course Iwent with a pie.
I did a bottom layer of longpork with a layer of baked beans
, chopped peaches and peanuts,because at this point in my life

(01:26:21):
I like food that confuses me.
Then I poured over a layer ofbaked beans, chopped peaches and
peanuts, because at this pointin my life I like food that
confuses me.
Then I poured over a layer ofpotato soup that was sticking
with crushed cheese and top itall off with a handful of cheese
.
It's sprinkled with emotionaldetachment.
Now they labeled the meat longpork.
They they could have lied, theycould have spared me, but, but

(01:26:42):
no, they looked at me, looked atwhat was left of the world, and
they just said he's ready.
And you know what.
They were right, because whenthe cows have completely
vanished and the chickens well,we all remember what the
chickens did.
Oh yeah.
So when someone hands you apackage of ambiguously sourced
meat, you eat it and you saythank you.

(01:27:05):
For dessert, I made somethingfairly similar to bread pudding.
If you squint and abandon God.
Shredded donuts soaked in asauce made from peanut butter,
vegan mac and cheese, a splashof Belgian beer and baked beans
topped with crushed honey.
Yeah, the texture was kind ofgelatinous and the flavor was

(01:27:28):
somewhere between campfiretrauma and midlife crisis in a
can.
So what have we learned fromall this?
Well, even in the smoking ruinsof human civilization, as long
as you have a can opener, a bitof imagination and a complete
disregard for what's considerededible or moral, you can dine
like royalty.

(01:27:48):
This is Oliver signing off withWZMB and a reminder to always
check the expiration date onyour neighbors.
Ciao.
Expiration date on yourneighbors.

Speaker 2 (01:28:06):
Well, now the jig is up.
Oliver knows that we were theone who mailed the boxes.
We'll send them a copy of ourterrible, cruel laughter while
they actually had to eat what wegave them do you think that
there will be a retaliation?
I mean, what could that looklike?

Speaker 1 (01:28:19):
I mean oliver, could make us eat it.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
They can't.
They're stuck on like aescarpment thingy.

Speaker 1 (01:28:25):
Oh, good thing.

Speaker 2 (01:28:26):
They can't do anything to us.
We're their benefactors.

Speaker 1 (01:28:30):
What if Oliver enlists the help of these
raccoons he spoke of?

Speaker 2 (01:28:36):
I really like raccoons, but please don't do
that.
They can keep living in thewoods.

Speaker 1 (01:28:41):
Leah, is this blech or is this bingeable?

Speaker 2 (01:28:45):
It's fucking gross.
I'm giving it a five.
I was literally gagging.
I have to agree.

Speaker 1 (01:28:53):
That was a five on the blech scale.
Yeah, that was like literally,I'd rather eat my own shoes.

Speaker 2 (01:28:59):
This is our ninth contestant and, yeah, I'd rather
eat my own shoes before myboneless grandparent yeah, you
know, the appetizer almost hadme until the dipping sauce.

Speaker 1 (01:29:09):
Yeah, and I, and I thought like this is salvageable
, because at least if it's adipping sauce you can just not
dip it in the sauce yeah, that'strue.

Speaker 2 (01:29:19):
I would say that was.
The only salvageable part ofthis whole meal was that you
didn't have to eat the dippingsauce well, I guess technically
you have to, because if you areon chopped as a judge, you have
to taste everything that's trueum this is like.
This is like nicole byers show,in a way like nailed it.
What we're doing, this is justterrible.

(01:29:40):
This could be a real show.
Food network call me yeah, uh,ingenuity, definitely some new
things.
Pie I mean, that was fuckingdisgusting, but I'd never heard
pie before yeah, so this is likea meat pie.

Speaker 1 (01:29:53):
Yeah, slash, it was everything.
It was just all the food inlayers, yeah, like.

Speaker 2 (01:29:58):
and then, honestly, I've already compartmentalized
and blanked out what the dessertwas, because it just made me
want to cry, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:30:06):
It was like a bread pudding of donuts and awfulness.

Speaker 2 (01:30:10):
It would sound like just mush.
If I remember, that's how theydescribed it.
Yeah, I think ingenuity though,because, like never heard,
bread, pudding, pie, those arenew combinations.
You know, when you've been inthe apocalypse for a while and
you've had everything else thatpeople have made from this
really unhinged episode, youmight be willing to be like you
know what I need, something new.

(01:30:30):
Yeah, I'm going to go with afour for ingenuity.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
What about you?
Oh boy, Four and a half.

Speaker 2 (01:30:37):
Four and a half.
Okay, taste and tone.

Speaker 1 (01:30:40):
I got to give Oliver a five on taste and tone.
Oliver made a radio broadcastand the flair was there.
The horror was also present,the humor I mean.
We couldn't get through thething without Leah laughing, as

(01:31:01):
if I just told her about noodlepulling.

Speaker 2 (01:31:03):
Oh, no See, that's dead to me.
I've made that, so I won'tlaugh about noodle pulling
anymore.
You say that I respect noodlepulling.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
Yeah, well, just wait until I make you ramen later.

Speaker 2 (01:31:17):
Anyways also gag-worthy imagery, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:31:21):
I gagged, absolutely.
Nero left the room e.

Speaker 2 (01:31:25):
Oh wait, we did.
Uh.
So last one, I'm gonna oh, I'malso gonna give a five for taste
and tone.
E end of the world realness.
I mean five.
Yeah, they're actuallyexperiencing the end of the
world right now.

Speaker 1 (01:31:37):
You know, you know why this deserves a five, even
though this is a terrible usageof all of these ingredients.
Why Is that?
Along with it came theappropriate amount of regret.
Like this is somebody who waslike I have a good idea, I'm

(01:31:58):
going to do this, and then theymade it, and then they were like
I.
I have to squint and abandonGod for this to make sense, so
yeah, that's a five.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
Well, I'm really sorry to say Jack Callahan, but
Oliver is the new zombie beanKing.

Speaker 1 (01:32:19):
Oh boy I mean that's going to be a hard one to be.
37.5, there's not, there's notmany areas where oliver has not
excelled.
Yeah, we got a few more okayI'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:32:33):
Brian from zompocalypse podcast, can you
beat that?
Did you know you're gonna goright?
I didn't know, this is a randomorder.
Um, let me find brian.
Brian's actually one of thefirst ones that I got and I was
like this sounds pretty goodfrom what I remember, but I feel
like at this point my curve isI don't know.
I'm like saturated withgrossness, but also like a

(01:32:55):
strange desire to eat all ofthese things.
Yeah, at least once.
What about, about?

Speaker 1 (01:33:02):
you Some of these things I would try.

Speaker 2 (01:33:06):
Alright, our friend Brian from Zumpocalypse podcast,
appetizer mac and cheese pizza.
Okay, using SpaghettiOs assauce drizzles and hot sauce
Sounds delicious.
Pb and pretzel PB, pretzel anddried fruit in separate cups
Perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:33:21):
This feels very reasonable, very doable and
delicious, and they also go withthis appetizer.
So, like you know, even thoughyou're not making anything
special by putting them inseparate cups, it feels like it
makes sense to have pretzels anddried fruit with this, what it
feels like kind of like bar food.

Speaker 2 (01:33:42):
Yeah, it does feel like bar food and it feels like
kind of like bar food.
Yeah, it does feel like barfood and it feels it feels like
hearty, tasty, apocalypticappetizer.

Speaker 1 (01:33:49):
I would eat this, no questions asked I feel like the
dried fruit and the pretzelscould go in the same one like a,
like, almost a trail mix.

Speaker 2 (01:33:56):
But oh, I thought of them as being like in separate
cups.
When I read, it was like theywere both in separate cups
together like no that's, I'mjust saying that they could yeah
, I think that they should yeahthat's how I read it.
Okay entree human bean andpeanut potato soup.
Okay, human bean, human bean.
I love a slow joke that liketakes me a minute to get it.

(01:34:18):
Yeah, that's brilliant.
It snuck past me at first yeah,and I gotta say beans and
peanuts do go well together.
Yeah, um, use potato soup.
They're both legumes.
Re-establish that last episode,I think, or the episode before
whatever.
Use potato soup mix in peanuts,bean medley, human flesh,
sprinkle cheese it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:36):
I love that sprinkle cheese it yeah, like on top, you
just like crush it up andsprinkle again the peaches I
don't know peaches use thisdecorative topping, so I guess
that implies you could take thegarnish smart yeah, anyway, if
it's, if it's resting on top,you can.
You can still eat the garnishwithout it contaminating the
rest of the soup peanut butter,mac and cheese and honeyo cereal

(01:34:58):
.

Speaker 2 (01:34:59):
Use the beer like milk.
Mix in everything like cereal.
That's disgusting, that isawful.

Speaker 1 (01:35:05):
I went from.

Speaker 2 (01:35:06):
This is very common.
It's very rare that it getsbetter.
Yeah, appetizer usually thebest Entree passable.
I need to go back and look atthe desserts to be like if any
of those I would eat.
If I looked closely, I knowAlice's.
I was like.

Speaker 1 (01:35:24):
I would eat this until I thought about it.
Yeah, I would eat the entree.
The appetizer is also edible.
The dessert is not.

Speaker 2 (01:35:34):
So that's a two out of three.
So I would say I would give usall a three and a half out of
five for this.

Speaker 1 (01:35:40):
The dessert is something that Homer Simpson
would do if Marge wasn't wasn'ttaking care of him okay, what's
what's your score for blech orbingeability?

Speaker 2 (01:35:52):
oh, that's tough, because it goes from bingeable
to blech that's true yeah wethink that the blech is
intentional with dessert oh mygod, three and a half because I
think it might be intentional.

Speaker 1 (01:36:06):
It actually made me go up to four oh, I'm sure it
was intentional, but, like I, Ifeel, like I feel like it was
going one direction and thenwent in the opposite direction
again, we didn't share any ofthese rules like there's,
there's not a, uh, there's not ameal consistency oh, you want
to be grossed out from start tofinish?

Speaker 2 (01:36:24):
yeah, I think you just made that up right now and
absolutely did not score thatway in the past.
But let's move on to ingenuity.
Uh, human beings, that'singenuity.
That is yes.

Speaker 1 (01:36:34):
Uh, the cereal definitely like actually just
making everything into a Belgianbeer like milk that's fucking
so gross yeah, you know I amgonna give a high score on
ingenuity I'm gonna get a solidfour there too, yeah I'm gonna
go four and a half because it is.
There is some ingenuity there.
There really is.
That's the type of ingenuitythat you regret later, it's true

(01:36:57):
uh, taste and tone.

Speaker 2 (01:36:59):
I think again these.
These read like I'm looking ata menu so it's like good and
there's some good jokes.
Yeah, like sprinkle cheese itthat made me smile.
Human beans uh three and a halfyeah, yeah, three and a half
from each of us.
Last but not least, end of theworld realness.

Speaker 1 (01:37:15):
I, after just hearing oliver's description, I think
this is real because there's acertain point where you just
don't care and you needsomething new yeah, yeah and and
much like oliver's, I, I, Ifeel like the dessert at the end
was was that thing that you do,where you're just like, like
I'm gonna do this is gonna begood much like homer simpson, I

(01:37:38):
believe in this and then youtake one bite of it and you're
just like you just push it awayand then you leave the room
without a single word.

Speaker 2 (01:37:46):
But then you come back to eat it because you're so
hungry.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
At midnight you come back for more.

Speaker 2 (01:37:51):
I got to say this actually has real end of the
world-ness.

Speaker 3 (01:37:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37:54):
Because all of these things feel cookable.
Five, five Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:37:58):
That's real.
That's your answer.
Five, five, okay, that's real.

Speaker 2 (01:37:59):
That's your answer.
Five, five across the boards.
So close, but doesn't quitebeat Oliver Gray from WZMB radio
.
You got a 33 score, brian.
That's quite high.
Okay, let's move on to ourauthor friend R Cuthbertson, who
has not been on the show yet,but we get to have them on this

(01:38:20):
winter to talk about their bookof undead, which just came out a
couple weeks ago is it aboutsurfing?
And zombies.
Oh, I was just guessing.
Also it's a.

Speaker 1 (01:38:28):
Also, there's a sibling um dynamic too that's
really interesting all right,I'm on board okay so cuthbertson
writes.

Speaker 2 (01:38:37):
That's actually literally their handle.
It's r cuthbertson dot writes,so you should go follow them.
Uh, appy spicy spaghettio slashmac and cheese flatbread with a
side of dried fruit and crushedpeanut.
Their handle it'srcuthbertsonwrites, so you
should go follow them.
Appy Spicy Spaghetti-O slashMac and Cheese Flatbread with a
side of dried fruit and crushedpeanut butter pretzels.

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:38:50):
Main Creamy potato and bean soup.
Everybody's doing soup Withbraised man meat.
Oh, I was definitely pulling anoodle here.
Okay, you didn't laugh at mypulling a noodle, joe you know,
it was it.
It just got to me I'm gonnastart in the beginning create

(01:39:13):
potato and bean soups withbraised man meat and a crust of
crumbled cheez-its.
On the side we have caramelizedoh that's good caramelized
peaches with some crushedpeanuts for texture.
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:39:24):
Best use of peaches, I think so far Other than the
marinade, except for just eatingthe peaches and then pouring
the juice in.
That was very real.

Speaker 2 (01:39:31):
Yeah, dessert Sliced softies with a generous layer of
peanut butter topped withcrushed honeyos.
This is starting to sound likeGerard's like gerrard's um
deluxe cheesy mac noodles cookedin belgian beer.
Okay, that's unique.
Just using the noodles?
Yeah well, using the.

Speaker 1 (01:39:47):
Using the belgian beer is like the liquid instead
of water, and baked beans andsausages on the side yeah, I
mean, it doesn't scream dessert,but it's edible food yeah, I,
I'm not saying anything here Iwouldn't eat, especially in an
apocalyptic scenario, you knowwhat I love for dessert, what
it's just more food, yeah, so Ifeel like that's a great dessert

(01:40:09):
for me.

Speaker 2 (01:40:10):
I mean, you're hungry ?

Speaker 1 (01:40:11):
I don't think you're really caring too much, give me
those beer noodles.

Speaker 2 (01:40:14):
I would imagine a scenario where you'd need to do
this.
You know a horde is coming andyou're like'm gonna fucking go
out.

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
Yeah, party style, last supper I've I've been
storing and rationing my foodthings around yeah, I'm just
gonna eat it all.
Yeah, and I don't care if Iregret it, because I'm not gonna
live long enough.

Speaker 2 (01:40:36):
It's your last okay, I think, for bleh slash binge
ability, I I think I'm going togive a solid four, because I
would put all of this in mymouth.
What about you, dan?
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:40:47):
I'm going to give a four and a half because it does
sound appetizing.

Speaker 2 (01:40:52):
Okay, Ingenuity.
I think it's pretty high theman meat for one.

Speaker 1 (01:40:58):
That's very specific.
We didn't specify which partsof the human were yeah,
flatbread instead of pizza.

Speaker 2 (01:41:05):
I mean, that's just psychological, frankly, but it
worked for me, because again youwant something different.
And then the noodles cooked inbelgian beer.
I'm gonna give that also a four.
What about you?

Speaker 1 (01:41:14):
for ingenuity ingenuity, yeah.
I think four is a is anappropriate okay score for that,
yeah taste and tone.

Speaker 2 (01:41:22):
Did it have flair, drama, horror or humor?

Speaker 1 (01:41:24):
I mean it had man meat that gives me an automatic
three.

Speaker 2 (01:41:30):
I think it was pretty like solid.
It was to be fair.
Uh, it was a very shortinstagram like message on the
thread yeah for the post, so Ithink it was great for that.
What?

Speaker 1 (01:41:41):
about you for taste?
Oh yeah, three Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:41:47):
End of the world realness.

Speaker 1 (01:41:49):
I think this is where it gets a five, because this
sounds, for the most part, likesomething that you would
actually want to eat in theapocalypse.

Speaker 2 (01:41:58):
I agree, and that gives you a very solid score of
32.5.
Nice, but it doesn't beat.
Of 32.5.
Nice, but it doesn't beatOliver Gray.

Speaker 1 (01:42:05):
It doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:42:07):
So you know Oliver suffers, but they may win the
prize for this.

Speaker 1 (01:42:10):
It's a possibility.
What is the prize we're goingto?

Speaker 2 (01:42:13):
say that at the end.
Okay, insert Jack Callahan's.
I don't like that laugh.
Insert Jack Callahan's maniacallaughter here.
Okay, last, second, last butnot least, the Skimsons which
I'm going to tell you all thisis my mom and her partner

(01:42:36):
collaborating and I'm reallyproud of them for what they've
created, but I don't know if Ican score it because of the
level of bias that I have as myfamily unit, so you're going to
be alone scoring this.

Speaker 3 (01:42:48):
Oh, it's just me.

Speaker 2 (01:42:49):
And they will judge you as their in-law.

Speaker 1 (01:42:51):
Well, already they're only going to have half the
points.

Speaker 2 (01:42:54):
I'll just double it.

Speaker 1 (01:42:56):
Just whatever I score , you're just going to yeah,
okay.

Speaker 2 (01:43:04):
I'm going can agree with.
All right, the scrimson onesacross the board.
Oh, you can talk to my momabout that later.
Okay, appetizer one.
So there's, uh, two appetizershere.
The first is spaghettios withscrotum balls in blood sauce I'm
sorry what I guess they addedthe scrotum balls, I don't know.

(01:43:24):
So SpaghettiOs with scrotumballs and blood sauce.
And then we actually get a realrecipe Dan SpaghettiOs with
scrotum balls and blood sauce.
Ingredients are hot sauce,kraft, mac and cheese,
spaghettios and the pizza kit.
Follow the directions on thebox to make the mac and cheese
Open pizza kit.
I appreciate that detail, mom.
Yeah, you want to open it first, like one of those things where

(01:43:45):
it's like you gotta say theobvious thing, otherwise you're
gonna get sued.
Yeah, so it has to say open thepizza.

Speaker 1 (01:43:50):
You can't just put the pizza kit in the oven you
gotta take the pre-kneaded doughout of the plastic before you
put it in the oven.

Speaker 2 (01:43:56):
Yes, it's important.
Mix pizza crust ingredients asdirected.
Open package of sauce andcheese in pizza kit.
Mix sauce and cheese with macand cheese.
Form pizza dough into scrotumballs.
Okay, indent each scrotum balland open up to make Ew, I see

(01:44:18):
what you did there To make apocket for filling.
Fill each scrotum ball pocketwith the cheesy mac mix.
This makes mac and cheesyscrotum balls Exclamation point.
Seal up each scrotum ball toform nice firm balls for juicy
eating.
Bake for 30 minutes at 350,turning once after 15 minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:44:38):
Oh, I always hate it when you gotta turn it after 15
minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:44:41):
It's not done yet.
Open up the spaghettios can bygnawing on it with your teeth.
That is the points off.
Spit out the lid.
Very see again details.
Don't swallow and heat asdirected in saucepan.
Warm up hot sauce in a separatesmall saucepan.
Serve juicy, juicy mac andcheesy scrotum balls with
spaghettios topped with hotblood sauce.
Lap it all up with blooddripping zeal.

(01:45:01):
Then they have a secondappetizer that goes with this,
which is called dry dried bowelexcrement.

Speaker 1 (01:45:08):
God, that sounds like what I'm going to have after.

Speaker 2 (01:45:13):
Well, this is a very ingenious name, for we've
already heard a lot of people do.
It's just the peanut butterpretzels and the dried fruit mix
put together, uh, and eat themwith real finger toothpicks what
are?

Speaker 1 (01:45:24):
what are finger toothpicks?

Speaker 2 (01:45:26):
like finger finger toothpicks like the toothpick is
also a finger.
So you like grab somebody'sfinger, I don't know, I don't
know.
You stab like a needle in theend and then you like hold it to
grab the food, I don't know.
Yeah, I think that thatwouldn't work very well with the
peanut butter pretzels.

Speaker 3 (01:45:42):
They would just break .

Speaker 2 (01:45:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:45:44):
I mean, if you get it just right, like you maybe
could pierce it.

Speaker 2 (01:45:48):
All right, entree Fleshy body part scramble A
scramble.
Yeah, all of the ingredientsare there listed.
My mom, or the scrimson sorry,I know that you had a heavy hand
in this burn.
Chop up the human flesh,peaches just the kidney
substitute, cheez-its, choppedspinal bone, oh Ugh and combine,

(01:46:09):
pour into a stir-fry pan,stir-fry until crispy.
Then stir in peanuts, lymphnodes and bean medley extracted
from a human stomach.

Speaker 1 (01:46:18):
Wow, wow.
So the beans have to bepartially digested, I guess.
So I guess we didn't say thatwe didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:46:25):
Yeah, I mean, maybe they got this from a zombie.
Heat potato soup which is alsoa lumpy stomach.
Bile Pour over the fleshy bodyparts, scramble and serve, best
eaten in large clumps scooped upby hand.

Speaker 1 (01:46:39):
Oh, so it even has like suggestions for how to eat
it.
Yeah, uh dessert.

Speaker 2 (01:46:45):
Dicks on sticks served in yummy vomit sauce.
All the ingredients are listedthere.
Skewer the sausagesindividually to make dicks on
sticks.
Relish in the feeling as youskewer through the sausage dicks
.
Mix vegan cheesy mac asdirected.
What's wrong with the humans?
Why do they want to be vegan?
Flushes in well, it could be avegan person anyways.

(01:47:08):
In a large bowl, mix togetherthe vegan cheesy mac with peanut
butter, baked beans that youwere separated from the sausages
, honey, o's and chopped donutsto make yucky vomit sauce.
I mean, that is an honestdescription of what it is vomit
sauce.
Wow, warm the dicks on sticksand vomit sauce.
Serve excruciatingly deliciousvomit sauce over dicks on sticks
.
Serve with warm belgian belchbeer and hoover voraciously.

(01:47:32):
Wow, scrimpsons, team scrimson.
I'm not gonna say, I'm gonnalet dan dan judge it.
I fell orability.
What's the score?
I feel ill, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:47:46):
What does that get them?
That's a solid five on Blech.

Speaker 2 (01:47:51):
Okay, I would have agreed.
What about Ingenuity?

Speaker 1 (01:47:54):
Oh, this is very ingenuitous.
Also, I want to add as I waslistening to it this has all the
vibes of you're goingtrick-or-treating and you go to
the one house where they're nottreating.
They're inviting people in toreach through a bowl full of
grapes and they're like they'reeyeballs.

Speaker 2 (01:48:19):
I have a lot of bad memories of that.

Speaker 1 (01:48:22):
But very ingenuous, I would say I gotta go with a
five for ingenuity.

Speaker 2 (01:48:28):
Are you just sucking up to my familial unit?

Speaker 1 (01:48:33):
I mean this is a very different take that we've seen
across the board.

Speaker 2 (01:48:38):
It makes me think about the recipe cards that were
in my house and some of the oldrecipe books with like
handwritten recipes from familythat very like it, just like I
could like picture on like ahuman family level.
It's like, oh my god, this is.

Speaker 1 (01:48:50):
I've read these recipes but, just with not so
disgusting ingredients um tone Imean, this is humor, this is I
mean.
Yeah, I mean are you like?

Speaker 2 (01:49:02):
are you upset at the fact that you might give them a
perfect score?

Speaker 1 (01:49:05):
I am very upset about it.
I wanted to give you once.

Speaker 2 (01:49:11):
I mean, does it have flair, drama, horror and humor?
Is there gag-worthy imagery?

Speaker 1 (01:49:15):
Yeah, yeah, it has all those things.
I gotta give it a five.
Okay, what about end-of of theworld realness?
Do I believe at the end of theworld that people will be like
like come inside and have my, my, my, spaghettios, scrotum balls

(01:49:37):
with a?

Speaker 2 (01:49:39):
dry bowel excrement.
Yeah, that doesn.
That doesn't feel real.
It's funny but not real.

Speaker 1 (01:49:43):
Maybe a crazy person, and this is where I'm gonna
have to take points off.
Okay, even though the fooditself, with the exception of
mixing the mac and cheese andpeanut butter, which I've
already explained, is a very badidea.
Why won't you guys listen to me?

(01:50:04):
Even though I think that all ofthis food is very foodable, I
gotta take off points, because Idon't think that you could
present this to somebody in theapocalypse and be taken
seriously.
They'd be like what the fuckare you talking?

Speaker 2 (01:50:23):
about.
Maybe this is a villaincharacter.

Speaker 1 (01:50:25):
It has to be a villain this is a villain chef
yeah, I'm gonna go.
Oh, my god, this is hard.
Four, four four.

Speaker 2 (01:50:32):
Okay, what does it do to the score?
Oh my god, they edged out allover gray by a half a point at
38.

Speaker 1 (01:50:42):
We have one more, ollie, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:50:46):
Yeah, I should never have invited them into this.
My mother will never let melive this down.

Speaker 1 (01:50:50):
Ollie, this is all Leah's fault.

Speaker 2 (01:50:53):
Does this mean that my mom and her partner are the
zombie bean king?
You know what?
There's one more, joe.
Salazar are you going to beatthis score?
Because it's still not aperfect score.
We could be 40.

Speaker 1 (01:51:06):
Joe Salazar is a very talented writer, very good at
writing Great imagination.

Speaker 2 (01:51:13):
Great at describing things.
Nero, our dog, agrees Hold on asecond.
Nero, come.
Are you ready for the finale,the final contestant?
I'm ready, all right.
Also a message in part of thethread for this post where I
made a call for recipes, joesays okay, here is my answer.
Period App colon smoothieperiod.

Speaker 1 (01:51:35):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:51:36):
How do you feel about that?

Speaker 1 (01:51:38):
So we're saying SpaghettiOs, the pizza kit,
including the dough and thesauce, and whatever toppings.
The hot sauce, mac and cheese.
Mac and cheese, a smoothie,yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:51:54):
Also, there is no other description, just smoothie
.
The entree Joe says Main colonsmoothie Period.
The entree Joe says main colonsmoothie period.
So now we're looking at asmoothie made out of potato soup
cheese.
It's peanuts, canned peaches,bean medley, human flesh.
That's going to give youdiarrhea, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:52:19):
But you know what Good protein, though, do?

Speaker 2 (01:52:21):
you think?
Do you think Joe's going to gosomewhere?
New for the dessert.

Speaker 1 (01:52:25):
Um, I don't.
I have a feeling that we'reheading somewhere, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:52:34):
Dessert, colon, also smoothie, but no period at the
end.
It's very important.
This is like a poem and there'svery intentional punctuation, I
think, happening here.
I'm gonna read it all as onebeautiful poem.
Okay, here is my answer appsmoothie, main smoothie, dessert
, also smoothie.

(01:52:55):
It is a soothing uh melody toit, that is disgusting.
The dessert round is a smoothiemade of vegan cheesy mac donuts
, peanut butter, honey-o'scereal, baked beans and
vegetarian sausages and Belgianbeer.
That is a fucking vomit fest.

Speaker 1 (01:53:13):
It actually sounds better than the previous two
smoothies.

Speaker 2 (01:53:16):
Do you think so, but can you imagine the smell?

Speaker 1 (01:53:21):
Could you imagine what the blender would look like
after you were done?

Speaker 2 (01:53:27):
like human excrement yeah, not dried.

Speaker 1 (01:53:30):
It looked the same way going in as it looks coming
out oh god uh, all right, are weready to score?
I think so will joe?

Speaker 2 (01:53:44):
horrible abomination blech or bingeability.
This is a five out of five.
Blech, yeah, fucking disgusting, easily five blech that's
honestly like I can imaginesmelling it and it's making me
want to gag ingenuity.
I mean, they used everyingredient they did, but that's,
that's the baseline.
People lost points for notusing every ingredient, but we

(01:54:06):
can't.
What does use every ingredientget you for ingenuity?
How and how much ingenuity issmoothie?

Speaker 1 (01:54:13):
I guess.
I guess, if you're talkingabout smoothies, they are
typically low, low energy, lowcreativity, burn.
You know, you, when you'remaking a smoothie, you're doing
it because you need sustenance,not because you're after an
experience yeah, like are youtoothless at this point.

Speaker 2 (01:54:34):
Have you just had like your teeth rotted?

Speaker 1 (01:54:35):
out because, that said, the smoothies that we had
at living dead weekend wereexcellent.

Speaker 2 (01:54:40):
They were, and they were unlike any smoothie I'd
ever had, because I'd never putavocado in a smoothie before so
you're saying that you you'releaving room willing to suspend
your disbelief and be like maybethis could be good, because I
have not had this combination ofthings in a smoothie before
this makes me think of something.

Speaker 1 (01:54:57):
Um, it was a movie that I'd only seen once.
It was called end End of Days,starring Arnold Schwarzenegger,
I think it came out in 1999.
It was about the end of theworld, where the devil comes
back and the Antichrist is born.
His name is Donald Trump andthat part I made up, but at the

(01:55:19):
very beginning they're trying topaint Arnold Schwarzeneg as
this um, really fucked upalcoholic character who, like,
is just off the rails and hispartner comes over, wakes him up
off his couch because he's in adrunken stupor, um, and he's
like you're late for work.
And he's like, oh, I gotta getready for work.
So he makes a smoothie and hedoes it by grabbing all of the

(01:55:39):
like leftover food on hiscounter and putting it in a
blender.
He picks up a slice of pizza offthe floor and sniffs it and
then puts that in and then hedrinks it and that's, that's
what this is giving and as much,as much as I gotta say that
like a smoothie is like thething that you do just to
sustain yourself.
It is in, it is it takes.

(01:56:02):
It takes some, some creativityto say I'm gonna take all of
these things and not make a mealand instead just blend it in a
blender for shock value likeit's art.
It is hard I'm gonna give it athree and a half okay it was
very impassioned for three and ahalf.

Speaker 2 (01:56:22):
Okay, I was very impassioned for three and a half
.
I'm surprised it's not higher.
I don't know, this feels like apoem to me, but I feel like
that goes into tone.
So I'm going to save my lovefor the poem that is this entree
, entree, yeah, entry Ingenuity.
I think it's a smart solution,but it doesn't take the level of

(01:56:45):
creativity that was requiredfor the other ones to come up
with.
And also there could have beena surprise somewhere with
something not quite as smooth.

Speaker 1 (01:56:54):
I feel like the whole thing was a surprise.
I'm going to give it a three.
It had the same amount ofsurprise as somebody jumping out
of an alleyway and flashing you.
Well, here's where I'm going togive it a three.
It had the same amount ofsurprise as somebody jumping out
of an alleyway and likeflashing you.

Speaker 2 (01:57:05):
Well, here's where I'm going to get to the tone
taste Surprise.
Was there humor?
Yes, yes.
Was there drama?
Yes, yes.
Horror, yes.
Was there flair?
And did it make me gag?
Yes, yes, because I think thisis a perfect example of less is
more.
You don't always have to say alot to make somebody want to
fucking vomit.

(01:57:26):
Yeah, I, um, I'm going to givefive.
You're giving a five, give me afive.

Speaker 1 (01:57:33):
Oh, I hate to agree with you.
This is a poetic masterpiece,but it uh.
I can't give it a five thoughyou don't have to.
I can't give it a five thoughyou don't have to.
I can't.
Leah.

Speaker 2 (01:57:42):
Then what are you going to give it?
I don't know.
At this point, my mom or sorry,the Skimsons have it in the bag
.
So unless you do somethingdrastic with me, I'm not picking
favorites.

Speaker 1 (01:57:54):
Leah, each one of these people I scored on the
merits of their food and howthey write about their food.
Okay, and no bias allowed, butyou're right Like it does
describe all those things withlike one fucking word that just
says smoothie, yeah, oh, andthere's definitely a tone and a

(01:58:17):
taste and a taste it and a humor.
Like you can taste those words,it's disgusting yeah, yeah, it
tastes like hot garbage end ofthe world realness again.

Speaker 2 (01:58:29):
Only a villain would make this for somebody else to
consume, so I guess they're.
I don't know.
I feel like there's going to bea little more in the middle for
me, but you tell me what do youthink?

Speaker 1 (01:58:39):
I.

Speaker 2 (01:58:39):
I think it is real because, like you, think you'd
be willing to take all thoseingredients that are perfectly
edible by themselves and makethose movies.

Speaker 1 (01:58:44):
No, absolutely not.
But if I was a psychopath, I'mimagining, let's say, I'm
wearing the face of anotherhuman being on my face.
Okay, because I want to live mylife as that person after the
apocalypse, and I go from placeto place cutting people's ears

(01:59:06):
off.
Wow, this took a turn and Idon't have a whole lot of time
to venture into culinaryadventures.
I'm not eating for enjoyment,I'm eating for sustenance.
I'm going to make a smoothieout of all of this random shit I
found in somebody's backpack,because I need the fuel that's

(01:59:29):
going to help me get my nextface mask.
You have to keep it down.

Speaker 2 (01:59:31):
You have to keep it down.
I can't imagine any human beingwith a functioning tongue
saying yes to this.
If you were injecting it intoyour body some other way
directly into your stomach fineI well that's, I'm boofing it.

Speaker 1 (01:59:47):
What's that it's when you put it up through your butt
instead of through your mouthare you really?

Speaker 2 (01:59:52):
this might make it even worse oh my god, all of
this is terrible.
No, it makes sense this onlymakes sense if you are, you are
harming someone else that youlove Exactly.

Speaker 1 (02:00:04):
Or did love, and that's the goal, because I'm a
psychopath in this reality.

Speaker 2 (02:00:08):
Okay, so from your point of view, if they were a
full psychopath, what scorewould this be?

Speaker 1 (02:00:13):
Two, it is a better idea to just eat your food, yes,
instead of putting it in yourbutt.

Speaker 2 (02:00:23):
I'm going to give it a three because I did not think
of putting it in my butt and Iam willing to put like sort of
in the middle answer with like,yeah, if you think about it from
the point of view of a villainwho wanted to do something
terrible.
Yeah, like, imagine if, like,we were psychopaths and we were
like you know, what we're gonnado in the apocalypse is we are
gonna get all of our favoriteauthors and we're gonna bring

(02:00:43):
them into our bunker.
We're gonna tie them down andbreak their knees and make them
write the next book in theirsequel and we have to feed them
and we have to threaten themwith some, some consequence,
because they know we want themto be alive and we know we want,
they know that we want them tokeep functioning.
Yeah, so the one thing we canreally threaten them with is
physical pain or torture and Ithink saying I'm gonna put these

(02:01:07):
in a smoothie and force you tofucking eat it.

Speaker 1 (02:01:10):
Right, the next chapter is diabolical yeah, also
we could get some like gianthamster feeding bottles and like
hang them up in the corner oftheir of their cell and they
have to like lick the littleball bearing to get more of the
smoothie to come out.

Speaker 2 (02:01:26):
Wow, see, this is why I think the Tonus was brilliant
, because the imagination can gowild with something so simple.
But I'm still giving it a threefor end of the world realness,
which means Joe gets 31 and ahalf points and the Skimsons,
god damn it.

Speaker 1 (02:01:42):
The Skimsons, god damn it, since one I think
there's no justice in this worldI don't think.

Speaker 2 (02:01:49):
Why is there no justice?
How do you feel about?

Speaker 1 (02:01:50):
the skimsons one.

Speaker 2 (02:01:52):
Yeah, how do you feel ?
About that it's just wrong,it's wrong, it's wrong so you
think I should give the prize tothe runner-up all of no, I are
the rules, but.
Well, here's the problem isthat I know for a fact that my
mother can't eat any of thisshit.

Speaker 1 (02:02:08):
That's true.
Is that points off for the endof times?

Speaker 2 (02:02:11):
realness that's actually a good point, but no,
because they were following thechallenge.
They could have been makingthis for somebody else, that's
true.

Speaker 1 (02:02:17):
You know they didn't make people food that they could
eat.
Well, joe could have beenmaking those smoothies for
somebody else right to harm them.

Speaker 2 (02:02:22):
Yeah, um, okay, mom, burn.
I love you.
This was beyond expectation.
Yeah, welcome to the sicknoodle pulling worlds of zombie
book club.
And you won.
You won, but you don't win theprize because you can't eat it

(02:02:42):
well, the prize, I prize.
I was going to actually makethe menu, one item from the menu
, and taste it.

Speaker 1 (02:02:50):
I'm really glad Joe didn't win.

Speaker 2 (02:02:55):
But I don't know if I can eat scrotum balls.

Speaker 1 (02:02:59):
We're going to eat some scrotum balls, Leah.

Speaker 2 (02:03:02):
I wanted to eat all over his menu.
I wanted the pie, the layeredpie.
You wanted that there'ssomething worse about it being
disgustingly named.
I wish I could have scored forthat one.
You, you all, wouldn't havegotten as high of a score if it
wasn't for dan, just so you know.
I would have scored you lower,just so I would have made sure
that I got to try the pie leah,this is all your fault it is

(02:03:24):
because I agreed to benon-biased and that's for okay.
Well, that's the prize, and Iguess it's maybe a prize for
everybody else.
You're gonna get to watch avideo of dan and I attempting to
make this menu and trying, well, trying it I don't know if
we're gonna be able to make thefull course three courses, but
we'll we'll try one.
Maybe we can have a vote onwhich one we should eat.

Speaker 1 (02:03:46):
The good news is that the instructions were very
clear.

Speaker 2 (02:03:49):
They were yeah, we're going to be able to make it.

Speaker 1 (02:03:51):
Yeah, there's not going to be any guesswork
involved, for sure.

Speaker 2 (02:03:54):
Should we let the listeners know which thing we
have to eat?
I don't know why I thought ofthis as a prize.

Speaker 1 (02:04:10):
Who's it a prize for?
Who wins my mother, I guess so.

Speaker 2 (02:04:15):
Although I don't think she wants to see me suffer
.
I think Burn does, though Burndefinitely does.
Yeah, well, we made it through.
Are you hungry, are you not?
I'm kind of confused.
Yeah, personally, right now I'mgonna need some time and space
before food um, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 (02:04:36):
It's gonna be a long time before I eat again.

Speaker 2 (02:04:38):
Um, it could be days I actually suggested that we
have a smoothie for dinnertonight before we read this.
That's right, and I'mofficially revoking that
suggestion as a dinner and Iknow it's not a tip, but
whatever you can have a smoothieany time of day, but not Joe
Salazar smoothies.
No, those are no.
Well, we've come to the end.

Speaker 1 (02:04:58):
Yeah, thanks for sticking with us this long, oh
boy.
Yeah, thanks, thanks forsticking with us this long, oh
boy.
What a what an episode.
Um, how are you feeling, leah?

Speaker 2 (02:05:08):
I'm feeling like I can't find our end of the show
now.
Me too, I'm trying to scroll.
I don't think they're there soI'm trying to find.

Speaker 1 (02:05:14):
Oh, I found some, okay, uh, you know, if you guys
want to support us, you couldleave us a rating or review.
We like reviews.

Speaker 2 (02:05:25):
Something I've noticed lately because I have
access to Buzzsprout, where wepublish our podcast room is that
most of you are podcastlisteners, but we have more
ratings and reviews on Spotify.
So if you are an Apple podcastlistener, could you go hit that
five star for us?
We'd really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (02:05:41):
Yeah, give us that five.
You know, If you don't listenon Apple, just download it and
give us a rate.

Speaker 2 (02:05:47):
Maybe you can tell us what you would cook.
Which team were you on?
Team Joe Salazar.
Would you want a smoothie?
Who did you?

Speaker 1 (02:05:54):
want to win.
That's the real question.
Who should have won instead ofthe Skimsons?
The Skimsons, you could alsosign up for our newsletter.
Please do.
I'm getting so close to it notgoing to people's spam folders.

(02:06:15):
One day, one day, you're gonnaget that highly coveted uh
newsletter and you'll be likewow, this is what I signed up
for.
But also, if you wanted tofollow us, you can follow us on
Instagram at Zombie Book ClubPodcast, or you can join our
Brain Munchers CollectiveDiscord.
All the links are in thedescription.
They're there, trust me.

Speaker 2 (02:06:36):
After reading this menu, the end is definitely nigh
, baby.

Speaker 1 (02:06:39):
Oh, the end is coming back up.

Speaker 2 (02:06:45):
Or starting there, according to you, with the
smoothie animal off the butt.
Bye-bye everybody.
Bye-bye.
Don't die and don't eat any ofthese recipes.
That's only or.
If you do, we are not liable.

Speaker 1 (02:07:00):
We deny any responsibility.

Speaker 2 (02:07:02):
Yes, all right.

Speaker 1 (02:07:03):
Bye, bye, bye-bye.
Do we are not liable?
We deny any responsibility?
Yes, all right, um, bye, bye,bye, bye, bye pink pony club

(02:07:24):
pink pony

Speaker 2 (02:07:26):
club pink pony club.
Pink pony club pink pony club.

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Apocalyptic Chopped Challenge | Zombie Book Club Ep 105

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Apocalyptic Chopped Challenge | Zombie Book Club Ep 105