ZombieWeen Gameshow 2025 | Zombie Book Club Ep 120 - Zombie Book Club

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_04 (00:20):
Welcome, noble champions of the apocalypse.
Take thine seats in the court ofzombie wean.
Adjust thine armor, sharpenthine axes, and check thy mics.
For soon the trials shall begin.

SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
If you've brought offerings, let them be brains.
If you've brought complaints,save them for your deathbed.
What say the contestants?

SPEAKER_04 (00:45):
We say I.
Alice, who's sick.
Coughs.
That's perfect.
I was like.
Hear ye, hear ye, by the decreeof Zombie Book Club, the Zombie
Wien games are now convened.
Tonight.

(01:07):
Tonight you face not trivia, buta trial of wit, improv, and
audacity.
There are no right answers, onlyanswers favored by the judge,
Dan, who you can't see, but Ipromise is here.
That's me.

SPEAKER_08 (01:21):
Yes, I've been in their basement.

SPEAKER_00 (01:24):
Your weapons are words, and your armor is humor.
Your quest is eternal glory.
By dawn, one among you shall situpon the throne of the undead,
as 2025's zombie ween royalty.

SPEAKER_04 (01:38):
And now it is time to unfurl thy house banners.
Tell us who thine are, speak thyname in the land and house from
whence thou hailest.
Boast shamelessly of thine owndeeds, and declare why the
undead throne should be thine.
Sylvester, as reigning ZombieWeen King of 2024, thou must go

(01:59):
as first.

SPEAKER_05 (02:01):
Okay, so my name is Sylvester Sabarzi, and although
I am reading The Feast of Crows,I can't speak like y'all right
now.
Yeah, I'm the author of thePlanet Dead series and a few
other books.
And like they said, I am thewinner of last year, The King
Among Kings, and I plan onwinning this year.

(02:23):
Um, although, you know, I kindof let myself go.
I'm like Robert now, I'm fatlazy.
But I think I could still win.
All right.

SPEAKER_04 (02:31):
It is up to Dan.
We shall see.
I will say, Sylvester, House ofBarzi, that in addition to thine
crown, you have the opportunityto win a scepter handmade by me
to go along with your royaloutfit.
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (02:49):
So y'all officially about to lose because I need
that.

SPEAKER_04 (02:56):
Alice, thine speakest out.
Unfurl thy house banner.

SPEAKER_08 (03:01):
Uh I can also not speak like that, especially
because my throat is on fire.
But I am Alice B.
Sullivan.
I'm the author of the Aftermathseries and other zombie books.
I currently survive in upstateNew York, where I was born and
raised.
And this is where I love towrite my end of the world
scenarios, including Infectedand the Undead.

(03:21):
Love them all, shambling andrunning, all different kinds.
Um, I don't drink coffee to wakeup.
I wake up to drink coffee.
I have my fidget toys, so Idon't hit my mic.
And I think I'm gonna winbecause I consume everything
zombie, pun intended, includingall the media, zombie shows,
movies, books, all of it, and Iwill try my best.

SPEAKER_04 (03:43):
Reign Supreme Challenger, possibly.
That's all I got.
Sir Jack, unfurl thy housebanner of Callahan.

SPEAKER_03 (03:51):
Hello, my name is Jack Callahan, and uh I am the
author of uh Zombie Nerd and theHalf-Term Harrowing, as um some
of you may already know.
But unfortunately, that tomedoth come to its end within the
next couple of months, and I amart about to bring out a new
book because me and mineprevious publisher did not see

(04:12):
eye to eye, and I said untothem, Dost thou think that just
because thou art virtuous, thereis to be no more me allowing to
say that I doth not like thehouse of Amazon?
And unfortunately, we did clashswords over this, and that's why
we did end up um annulling ouragreement.
But verily, uh I I doth haveanother book coming out very

(04:37):
soon.
Unfortunately, it beeth not ofthe zombie ilk, but um it's
still very in very interestingNF.
And it's called Weird Water, andum it'll hopefully be out by the
end of the year.
And um, I'm pretty absolutelysure that I'm not gonna win this
because I was terrible on thelast one.

(04:57):
And Dan hates me, so um uh I'mjust here for the fun of it.
Damn.

SPEAKER_07 (05:05):
I think you're gonna do great, Jack.
Dan, why are you so mean toJack?
Can you start drinking?
Jack, please.

SPEAKER_03 (05:13):
Um I'm 100% sober, which is probably the problem.
And it's nice to see you again,Lori.
Have you have you reconsideredmy offer?
I've been dreaming about it.

SPEAKER_04 (05:23):
We're gonna talk about this.
Well, really.
Verily, 'tis Lord Jack Callahan,invited late to this zombie
ween, but bringer of beans inbedlam, guard thy beans and hide
thine wife, lest Jack make aproposal.
Again, they cannot agree.
I cannot speak, good people, butyou know what I mean.
Lori, unfurl thy house banner ofCalcatera.

SPEAKER_07 (05:46):
I'm probably gonna butcher this, but hail all ye
contestants, and cower beneaththe banner of House Calcatera,
the original, the first of hername, the zombie wing queen,
supreme.
I am the drinker of tears,smasher of fruit, Khaleesi of
the kitchen, countess ofcliffhangers, empress of

(06:09):
emotions, and mother ofassassins.
That is right, I am thewriter-creator of Path of the
Pill Rider.
I drink your tears, and I havethis uncanny ability to approach
enemies and have them turn into,shall we say, lovers?
Oh.
This has happened twice now, andif you don't believe me, ask

(06:31):
Sylvester.
He was there both times.
And with that ability, I say,the crown shall be mine.
Verily I have the crown here.
And I'm hoping to get it.
We got a chance of the crown.
Hooray! Against the mustache manwho shall remain nameless.

SPEAKER_04 (06:51):
Said mustache man was invited to Zombie Wien and
ghosted me.

SPEAKER_07 (06:57):
He can't, he doesn't want to face me again.
I'm just gonna say.
Spectres?
For a chance, perhaps.

SPEAKER_04 (07:06):
What's that?
His own crown, but nay.
He could.
And Lori, don't forget, thinehas the opportunity to add to
thine royal collection with ahandmade meat scepter made by
me.
House of Oh shit.
Bleep that out.
Nobody's allowed to know my lastname.
I'm gonna see it on my show.

SPEAKER_08 (07:25):
Uh oh.
I didn't hear anything.
Sorry, nope, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 (07:29):
I'll bleep it out and replace it with my last
name.
Is that better?

SPEAKER_03 (07:34):
I'd be more worried about the term meat scepter.

SPEAKER_07 (07:38):
I'm wondering what you're gonna put in that
scepter.
I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04 (07:42):
Yeah, that could be very inappropriate.
It is a a PG 13.
Well, an R-rated meat scepter.
Not X rated.
Well, there may be buttholes.
I'm not sure if that's PG 13.
Is that why you said everybody?
See?

SPEAKER_05 (08:02):
All of them have butthole.
There was buttholes online.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (08:05):
So that so that's why you jump from PG 13 to
R-rated so so fast?

SPEAKER_00 (08:09):
Yes.
There's a certain number ofbuttholes that you're allowed to
show.

SPEAKER_04 (08:15):
Are there a trap in?
I don't know.
Has one ever seen a butthole onan R-rated movie?
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (08:24):
You have.
No.
The remake of um Psycho starringum spread cheeks and everything.
And in the the shower scene, uhthere is a brief moment where
you see Anne Haysh's butthole.

SPEAKER_07 (08:38):
Oh like spread cheeks and everything.

SPEAKER_00 (08:41):
She's like falling in the shower.

SPEAKER_07 (08:43):
So yeah, I was gonna say there's falling naked, and I
think it kind of sneaks inthere.
Isn't there there was a fightscene?
Um who's the actor that playedAragon, Jack?

SPEAKER_03 (08:52):
The actor uh Vigo Morton soon.

SPEAKER_07 (08:54):
Yes, there's a movie with him where he's in like the
Russian mob and he's in like aspa, like a steam room, and he
they attack him while he'snaked.
I feel like there's a buttholein that.

SPEAKER_03 (09:04):
Well, and you see Aragorn's butthole.

SPEAKER_07 (09:07):
Now that's special, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 (09:10):
That is incredibly special, as we both agree.
Remember in the Lord of theRings when he saw Aragorn's
butthole?
I think we need to remember thatseries.

SPEAKER_02 (09:20):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (09:21):
It was in the book.
Are thou readiest to learn thineproclamation of rules for this
year's Zombie Wien Game ofThrones, aka Jeopardy?
Aye.
Aye.
I excellent.
I Dan, are thine ready to sharethe rules?

SPEAKER_00 (09:39):
That's me.

SPEAKER_04 (09:40):
It's both of us.
Both of thine, both the thouest,thou, I don't know how to speak
this either.
I'm just making shit up.
Hear ye.
Why thank thee?
Hear ye! Hear ye.
The board before you that I'mgoing to make it before you.
One moment.
There.
The board before you holdstwenty trials of wit and folly

(10:04):
arranged by category and value.
These are the challenges thatshall test thine cunning, thine
humor, and thy will to reign.

SPEAKER_00 (10:19):
Each square bears a number of beans.
The higher the number, thegreater the peril.
And the sweeter the spoils ofbeans.
Choose wisely, for the board isvast and time is fleeting.

SPEAKER_04 (10:33):
When it is thine turn, thy shall name the
category and the number of beansat stake.
A challenge shall be revealed.
Thou will be the first toanswer, but others may challenge
you if they dare for the beans.

SPEAKER_00 (10:48):
And know this hidden among the squares lies twists of
fate.
These trials arrive withoutwarning, and once revealed, they
must be faced.

SPEAKER_04 (11:01):
Dan, as judge, may grant thee beans, or deny it, as
his honor sees fit.
Yet in the end, all shall havetheir say before the court, and
the zombie crown will be placedupon one brow.

SPEAKER_00 (11:13):
Unless it's a sceptre.
Yes.
One scepter.
Scepter or a crown will beplaced in the appropriate
location.
In like five months when I makeit.
Oh, it's my turn.
It's gonna take a little while.
Champions! Sharpen thinetongues.
Contestants prepare thinechallenges.

(11:34):
Jeopardy awaits!

SPEAKER_04 (11:36):
Behold the fields of combat! Zombie survival 101,
horror tropes, apocalypseetiquette, zombie blockbusters,
and dating while undead.
Perhaps good ones for Mr.
Jack to attempt.
Who among thee wishes to be thefirst challenger?
Ah, Alice, bravest as a newcontender.

(11:59):
What does I choose?

SPEAKER_08 (12:02):
I will do apocalypse etiquette for five.
Am I doing that?

SPEAKER_04 (12:07):
Can thou readest it or is it tiny?
It's tiny.

SPEAKER_08 (12:10):
It is tiny.

SPEAKER_04 (12:13):
One moment if while I make it less tiny.
How does one do with that?
View.
Is that readable?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Thou hast stolen someone's lastcan of beans.
Write thine apology note.
You may have but one heartbeat15 seconds to think of your

(12:38):
answer.
Okay.
When do I answer?
Whenever thou wast ready.
What is your apology note forstealing of the beans?

SPEAKER_08 (12:45):
I'd like to say that I am sorry for stealing your
beans, but in the apocalypseit's do or die.
And I'm not saying that yourlife is m worth more than mine,
but I was hungry and I also havea dog to feed.

SPEAKER_04 (12:56):
That is a good answer.
Would anyone like to challengeAlice for these five beans?
Do it up.
Do you want to go first?

SPEAKER_09 (13:05):
Yeah, you can go.

SPEAKER_04 (13:06):
I can go.
Y'all are too impolite.

SPEAKER_07 (13:09):
Y'all are too polite.

SPEAKER_02 (13:10):
How long are we gonna do the old timey English?

SPEAKER_07 (13:13):
However much we want to sleep.
Um here's my apology.
Dear Jack, I know that you lovebeans.
I'm so sorry to have stolen yourlast, but I know that you pick
the best can of beans.
I pray that you offer yourforgiveness to me by sleeping

(13:34):
nearby and we can keep eachother warm with bean farts.

SPEAKER_06 (13:44):
Love, darling.
Lord.
Do farts keep people warm?
They are warm.

SPEAKER_05 (13:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (13:53):
You guys just Dutch ovening each other?
Hey man, you gotta survive inthe apocalypse.
I'm now at least we ain'tfreezing to death.

SPEAKER_04 (14:01):
Sylvester, do thou have an apology?

SPEAKER_06 (14:05):
I'm gonna die.

SPEAKER_05 (14:06):
Oh no, I apologize for nothing.
I take what I want.
We are now in a blood feud.
So, yeah.
That's what next time.

SPEAKER_06 (14:16):
Jack random blood feud.
I stole your beans and ran afucking blood feud.

SPEAKER_04 (14:24):
Jack, do thou want us to challenge for these five
beans?

SPEAKER_03 (14:29):
Yes, I would.
Um I would say, dear to bothAlice and Laurie, and also
Sylvester, I'll get I'll get allthree in at once.
Um to Alice, yes, I appreciatethat you have a dog, but and uh
again to Laurie, thank you verymuch for considering me.
But as you all know, I am thebean king.

(14:50):
So all beans must be given to meas tribute.
And that goes to Sylvester aswell.
So when it comes to beans, youhave to bring them before me
before I decide who they aredistributed to.
So I d so whether you have a dogor whether you're trying to, as
laurers, bringing your beansbefore me in attempt in an

(15:12):
attempt to win my favour, it'sme who decides who gets the
beans and no one else.

SPEAKER_04 (15:18):
Jack, that sounds like thou are claimest the
claimingest to the thine thronepreemptively.
The bean throne.

SPEAKER_03 (15:26):
Yeah, I think Jack is stinky.

SPEAKER_07 (15:28):
Jackie wins today, can his crown have beans in it?
Oh my gosh.
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (15:34):
Thine thine crown will be decorated with various
types of beans.
Lentils, kidney beans, navybeans, and black beans.

SPEAKER_00 (15:45):
Oh man, kidney beans are my favorites.
Okay, more kidneys for you.
Good to know.
Dan I'm also a fan of the kidneybeans.
Um this is tough.
Uh because oh man, I just hategiving it to Jack, but I know
you do, you bugger.

SPEAKER_03 (16:04):
I like you did in the in the thing with the the
menus.
I know you don't like me.

SPEAKER_00 (16:10):
I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 (16:14):
But I I hate the fact that Jack is winning, he
says.
Oh, I did.

SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
I did.
Yeah.
No, you're right.
You're right.
I did hate that.
Uh, but I am gonna give this toJack because you know what?
I I gotta admit that Jack is theking of the beans.
And I think claiming in such aJack way, uh writing an apology
note that is in no way anapology is just so it's so

(16:41):
perfect for Jack.
And I to Jack.

SPEAKER_03 (16:45):
I have actually been watching um The Walking Dead
recently, so I am like Negan.
You give me your beans, or Ikill you.

SPEAKER_00 (16:54):
Are you pissing your pants yet?

SPEAKER_04 (16:56):
That's the book I want to read.
I'd be more afraid of the ironto the face from uh good old.

SPEAKER_09 (17:04):
Jack as the game fire pit.

SPEAKER_04 (17:07):
That'll also be bad.
Jack, as the the winner of thefive beans, you get to choose
next.
Whoop whoop.

SPEAKER_03 (17:14):
Um I will go for um uh dating while undead for five,
please.

SPEAKER_04 (17:20):
Everybody's picking the five beans.
At 26 and decaying.
Here, I'll zoom in.
At 26 and decaying, this zombieseeks a midnight brain buddy.

SPEAKER_03 (17:33):
His Tinder profile includes Well, his Tinder
profile would probably mostlyhave to include the smell, um,
which I could most probably getover if we use certain
tinctures, sprays, and oils.

SPEAKER_00 (17:49):
Which ones do you recommend?

SPEAKER_03 (17:51):
Uh most probably tinctures.
If we all know what that means.
Um I'd like to think also that azombie would be a very good
listener, because they don'ttalk very much, do they?
All you mostly get is moans.
So if you were on a date with azombie, you'd definitely have
someone who would sit there andlisten to you.
You'd maybe have to prevent themfrom trying to attack you at

(18:14):
some point.
But if you chained them up, thenI'm sure they could sit there.
And um, everybody loves somebodywho listens to them, and a
zombie is definitely a goodlistener.

SPEAKER_04 (18:23):
Am I the only one that's thinking like a chained
up moaning zombie is kind ofkinda hot?

SPEAKER_07 (18:29):
Um Leah has unlocked a new kink.
Congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 (18:37):
I was I was thinking that's weird.

SPEAKER_07 (18:43):
Bones at the right time.
That would be important.
Bones at the right time?

SPEAKER_00 (18:47):
Yeah.
They always have to moan at theright time.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (18:51):
No, they're real moats, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
Has to be genuine.

SPEAKER_07 (18:54):
May I add to this Tinder profile?
Absolutely.
I think that it would beimportant that a 26 and D Kang,
I know that they are sinking amidnight brain body.
However, the mention of teethneeds to be there.
Are there teeth?
Are there no teeth?
I think if there are no teeth, Iwould be more apt to show up to
a blind date.
Um, I like the moaning at theright time.

(19:15):
Good listener.
Um, looking for a warm body.
Through farts.
We could use farts.
We could.

SPEAKER_08 (19:25):
I mean, zombies are probably just constantly
shitting, aren't they?

SPEAKER_07 (19:28):
So it depends on how often they eat.
Yeah.
I don't know if they're gonnakeep you warm, but I mean, they
could make them abuse too,Alice.
I mean, if you want to get outthat crowbar and take it, they
don't care.

SPEAKER_03 (19:40):
So now you're gonna be able to do it.
You can you can knock the teethout afterwards, that's the
thing.
Like, and what are you worriedabout?

SPEAKER_08 (19:48):
But at the same time, do you really want to be
gummin it?

SPEAKER_02 (19:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (19:53):
Some people might have that.
Is that a question?
No, it might be too gay for thisquestion.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I'm gonna say that heprobably has it also written,
we'll eat your heart out, butnot literally.

SPEAKER_04 (20:15):
That is what would be in Vine Zombies Tinder
profile.
I love it.
Sylvester, do you have a Tinderprofile you would like to share?

SPEAKER_05 (20:23):
Um I don't know.
You guys are way more creativethan I can be.
Um, probably endless long walkson the beach or uh looking for
someone willing to give a partin themselves to the world.

SPEAKER_08 (20:42):
Um to everybody, just like you get a finger and
you get a finger.

SPEAKER_05 (20:48):
Yeah, everybody gets a piece of everything.
Also, um, you don't have toworry about me chaining you up
in a basement for moans andbroken teeth.
You don't know what that was.

SPEAKER_03 (21:00):
I think that's what that that's what we're saying of
the good things.

SPEAKER_06 (21:05):
That was Leah.
Leah wants the chained up Zy.
I don't I don't.
I just heard the note.

SPEAKER_05 (21:11):
I'm not looking for a kid at victim.

SPEAKER_07 (21:17):
No, I'm just saying what would need to be in the
Tinder profile profile for me toeven show up.

SPEAKER_00 (21:22):
It's it's toothless.

SPEAKER_05 (21:24):
Toothless.
Yeah.
Okay.
I get I get you now.
I get you now.

SPEAKER_08 (21:28):
You like them toothless, that's great.
Well, when they're gonna eattrying to eat, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (21:33):
Yeah.
Um oh boy.
I found Jack's to be verydisturbing, and uh, I'm gonna
have to go with Lori on thisone.

SPEAKER_09 (21:44):
Uh oh, don't stay like that.

SPEAKER_04 (21:50):
Lori, are thou ready for this?
Oh, I get beans.
I will zoom back out so you cansee your options.

SPEAKER_07 (21:57):
I'll take beans for 20, Leah.
Just kidding.

SPEAKER_09 (22:01):
They're all beans.

SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Every question is bean related.

SPEAKER_07 (22:06):
They can't uh let's do zombie tropes for 10.

SPEAKER_04 (22:10):
I like your style.
What does it reveal?
You just got bitten.
Don't question the grammar.
How do you try to hide it fromyour group?
And what over-the-top excuse doyou give when they notice?

SPEAKER_07 (22:24):
Ooh, I have just taken up um floral arrangements
and mummification.
I'm going to wrap myself and uhsurround myself with flowers
because those are my two newhobbies.
And I'm really good at them, andI will pass out flowers to
everybody.
And if they wonder about thesmell, I'll just tell them it's
the flower.

SPEAKER_09 (22:44):
It's the smell.

SPEAKER_07 (22:46):
I put some cabbage in there.
It's hard to find flowers in theapocalypse.

SPEAKER_00 (22:50):
These aren't they beautiful?
So some cabbage flowers.

SPEAKER_07 (22:54):
Cabbage flowers are beautiful, and you're wrapped up
like a lumbian.

SPEAKER_04 (22:58):
And that's the excuse you give when they notice
is that you're specializing inmodification and flowers?

SPEAKER_07 (23:03):
Yeah, because I'm wrapping my body to cover the
things.
I'm really good at first aid.
I can do first aid on you too,Leah.
If you have a nick or ahangnail, you just let me know.
Wrap you right up, bear dairy.
And oh, I have a flower too.
Here's a bouquet to help youmake it feel better.
A little cabbage.
We love it.
Don't ask questions.
Don't ask questions.

SPEAKER_00 (23:23):
Sounds threatening when you say it like that.

unknown (23:26):
What?

SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (23:29):
There's nothing wrong here.

SPEAKER_00 (23:31):
So wait, so mummification is also something
that you've picked up recently?

SPEAKER_07 (23:35):
Uh mummification first aid, rep, gauze wrapping.
I don't know.
I'm really good at wrapping bodyparts.
I excel.
It's a new hobby.
I'm trying new things.

SPEAKER_04 (23:44):
Outside of this world, like our zombie wean
world, do you actually know howto mummify things?
No.
I've mummified a bird's wingonce.
That's a good question, wasn'tit?

SPEAKER_08 (23:53):
That was a good, that was good.
That was very convincing.

SPEAKER_04 (23:56):
A hunter gave me a duck wing and I mummified it.
This was obviously before Istopped eating animals.

SPEAKER_08 (24:02):
Is it considered mummification when you dry out
flowers and crush them?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (24:08):
It absolutely is.
And I have no basis forbelieving that.
I just I'm just committing toit.

SPEAKER_04 (24:14):
Yeah.
What other ways might uh one ofyou challenge Lori and how you
would hide your bite and yourovertall excuse?

SPEAKER_05 (24:21):
I would love to challenge.
Uh so depending on where my biteis, I am just gonna take a knife
to it.
I'm gonna make it look like aregular wound, and then I'm
gonna pretend that I slicedmyself while I was trying to
fortify the compound.
And then we're gonna go fromthere as I try and figure out
how to deal with this problembefore they find out.

SPEAKER_10 (24:43):
We're just supposed to wrap everything in some.
It'll make you feel better.

SPEAKER_05 (24:50):
As soon as it happens, just take a knife to
it, run into the air, be like, Ijust sliced my hand.
I need somebody to help me,please.

SPEAKER_04 (24:56):
I have classic.
That's pretty smart.
But also willing, that meansyou're willing to like maim
yourself to stay alive a littlelonger and possibly one day eat
your friends.

SPEAKER_05 (25:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, when you say it likethat, it's not good.

SPEAKER_04 (25:10):
You say it that way.
Alice, do you have a plan?

SPEAKER_08 (25:15):
Um, so yeah.
I mean, say if I got like bittenon the arm or some shit, I would
probably, for one, I am I'mactually, I actually know first
aid, like in real life and stufflike that, because of my medical
background, because of my work.
Um but yeah, so I would likelywrap it up, treat it like a
normal wound.
I would also probably apply somelimestone to it because that

(25:37):
takes rid of the smells.
Um, that way you won't be likepeople won't be smelling the
infection.
And then if someone actuallysees the bite, I would just be
like, I bite myself in my sleepall the time because of stress
and anxiety.
And that's just what I do.

SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
It's so believable.
Just send me some flowers.
I appreciate all of these uhself-inflicted harm scenes.

SPEAKER_04 (26:01):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 (26:02):
What is you trying to do with a zombie apocalypse,
man?
Like, come on.

SPEAKER_03 (26:07):
Jack, do you have a creative?
Um I would just say that I gotbitten by a human.
You know, uh by Alice.
Don't nobody don't nobody don'tnobody be kink shaming me.
Um my bite is pretty distinctbecause I use Jack, so I'm
coming for you.

(26:27):
I I did I didn't hear any safeword.
Um, but then after after that,um, even if it does turn out
that I got bit bit by a zombieand people figure out that's
what happened, I've still got myguy over there on my Tinder
profile who I can go over to andum and it'd be cool with him.
Yeah.
So yeah, yeah.
Transfer of kink.

(26:50):
That is that can be interesting.

SPEAKER_04 (26:56):
That's actually kind of the premise of a peakalypse
now that I'm working on uh as myget rich quick scheme.

SPEAKER_00 (27:04):
Um yeah, I'm I'm going with Jack on this one
because I I love first of allthe callback to your Tinder
profile.
Uh and also just blaming it onsomebody else.
That's that's perfect.
Another human did it.

SPEAKER_04 (27:20):
Jack, you're going to hate this, is in the lead.
An early lead at 15.
Yeah, and I'm gonna send youcabbage flowers just for that.
Lori has five beans.
Sylvester, what has happened tothee?
I know.
Zombie King came in tooconfident, perhaps.
Yeah.
Um we got a long ways to go.
Jack, you have already had achance to pick something.
I'm actually going to pass itover to Sylvester.

SPEAKER_09 (27:43):
Ooh, yay.

SPEAKER_04 (27:44):
Beans for 20.
Hold on, let me zoom back outfor you.

SPEAKER_05 (27:49):
I'll do apocalypse etiquette for 20.

SPEAKER_04 (27:53):
I love the boldness.
I have no idea, by the way, Idon't remember what any of these
things say or do.
Okay.
A bean battle emerges.

SPEAKER_00 (28:04):
Whoa, we haven't seen a bean battle beans in so
long.
In fact, never.

SPEAKER_04 (28:12):
What is a bean battle, Leah?
We are about to find out.
Choose a rival, Sylvester.
Wager your beans of which youhave none.
However, thou can challengesomeone to wager their beans for
you to steal.
There's really nothing for youto lose here, actually.
Literally.
I can't get negative beans.

(28:34):
All right.

SPEAKER_00 (28:34):
I think we can get negative beans.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 (28:37):
Oh, should we go?
Dan, thou art the judge.
Did we lose Sylvester?
What happened?
I will hand count actual beansand mail them to the winner.
Are you are I'm unemployed,Alice.
I have time.

SPEAKER_07 (28:56):
Are you allowed to just send beans in the fucking
mail?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're dried.
Yeah.
As long as you're not sellingbeans and shit, but I'm not
sending myself in the mail.
As long as no one is payingmoney for them, Leah.
Yes, you can.
I know this.
I know this.
You can just send beans toanyone you want in the fucking
inner.
Really?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (29:15):
Start sending people beans.

SPEAKER_07 (29:17):
Uh, international might be difficult.
If you're gonna send them toJack, they might get stopped in
customs.

SPEAKER_00 (29:22):
But like, how could you?
You just fill out the customsform.
You can just claim those beansand then they can.

SPEAKER_07 (29:28):
Yeah, you can send beans, Alice, in the 50 states.
Yeah, you can send beans toanybody.
Just randomly send someonebeans.
Go through your list of peopleon your phone book, pick a
person, send them beans and seewhat happens.
Sylvester, we thought terrifiedby this twist.

SPEAKER_05 (29:48):
Yeah, no.
I was just being overlydramatic.
Okay, let's go.

unknown (29:53):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (29:56):
Choose a rival and wage divine beans.

SPEAKER_05 (30:00):
Okay, so I gotta act to take someone else's beans?
Yes.
Okay, so I'll take Jack.

SPEAKER_04 (30:05):
Okay, for how many of Jack's beans are you
wagering?

SPEAKER_05 (30:07):
I want all 15.

SPEAKER_04 (30:09):
Jack's got magic beans.
Alright, Jack, you have todefend thine beans.
But reveal the question.
Make your own Zompoc buzz-insound.
Zombie apocalypse, for those whoare not familiar with the
condention there.
Condenson.
I'm inventing words.
Then explain what it means.
For example, gr that's mefinding out my brain delivery is

(30:32):
late.
Sylvester, you can take a momentto consider your sound and
explanation.

SPEAKER_05 (30:38):
Okay.
Um I was not expecting this.
I guess Jack can.

SPEAKER_06 (30:44):
You gotta make some weird ass case when you know it.
You gotta moan at the righttime.

SPEAKER_05 (30:49):
Okay.
Oh, let's see.
Um and um that's normally myreaction when I see a one-star
reveal.

SPEAKER_04 (31:00):
Very good, Sylvester.
Jack, give us your buttons.

SPEAKER_03 (31:04):
I haven't.
I absolutely have something.
Um a long time ago, um, I wentum and I visited some places in
Africa.

SPEAKER_04 (31:15):
You can't start with the explanation, you have to
start with the sound.
Now I want to hear what it'slike.

SPEAKER_03 (31:20):
I'm gonna allow this.
Let's hear you moan.
The judge is allowing it.
Okay.
There are two things in theworld that I'm really scared of.
One of them is heights, and theother one is monkeys.
Um when I was in Africa, I met alot of monkeys, and um there was
a Samburu tribesman there whotold me that there is one thing

(31:40):
that you can do to keep themonkeys away, and it was to make
a very specific sound, and itsounded like this and I can
still do it to this day.
I can't hear it.

SPEAKER_04 (31:49):
That would definitely be like why is it I
think that it's not allowing usto hear it.

SPEAKER_05 (32:00):
Maybe it's sniffing for the month.

SPEAKER_03 (32:04):
Yeah, yeah, try it again.
You're doing it through this theside of your tooth.

SPEAKER_07 (32:12):
Are you calling a joke?
Are you pulling our leg?

SPEAKER_03 (32:14):
Like you on you you honestly can't hear it.
I can come up as close to themicrophone as I can.
It sounds like a teeth orsomething.

SPEAKER_08 (32:25):
Is it like a dog whistle?
I was gonna say, is it only isit only a sound dog screen here?
You can only hear it at a drumend.

SPEAKER_01 (32:33):
It's like a monkey going wee!

SPEAKER_06 (32:36):
Well um Oh, it's Donald Duck.

SPEAKER_00 (32:42):
Yeah, I gotta side with uh I gotta sign with
Sylvester on this one.

SPEAKER_04 (32:52):
Oh, poor House of Callahan.
House of Callahan, I am going tomake you watch me do this.
Minus 15.
15 poor house of arguing.

SPEAKER_08 (33:07):
And now we have to have it.
Why do I have an X on my name?
What did I do to you?

SPEAKER_04 (33:13):
Oh, that's just how I knew you at first.

SPEAKER_08 (33:15):
Oh.
Like, what did I do?

SPEAKER_00 (33:19):
That reminds us to never give points to Alice.

unknown (33:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (33:23):
I'm just here waving around like Alice.
Alice is like the first, this isher first zombie ween.
They're at the three of us wereon last year.
We're like, get her! Like, comeon.

SPEAKER_04 (33:34):
I will say that the two former zombie wien, king and
queen, are now in the lead.
Yeah, what a turnaround.
How the house of Callahan hasfallen.

SPEAKER_07 (33:46):
He's the usurper.
Don't mind me.

SPEAKER_04 (33:53):
I'm so sorry, Jack.
Okay, Jack is the king of beans.
He'll get more beans.
Alice, thou hast not picked onein a while, since the beginning.
Name thine challenge.

SPEAKER_08 (34:06):
Uh let's do let's do zombie survival or five beans,
please.

SPEAKER_07 (34:13):
Wrong zombie survival.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (34:17):
Thou hast recruited three celebrities into your
survival crew.
Thou must name ones that anybodywould know, which is its own
challenge.
Name them.

SPEAKER_08 (34:26):
Do the celebrities have to be like real
celebrities, or can they be likefictional?
Like, what are we doing?
Dan?
Like real celebrities?
Because I am not good withcelebrities.

SPEAKER_00 (34:35):
You know, I think they need to be celebrities that
I would know because yourability to get points is based
on me finding it funny.
So good luck.
By the way, I don't know anycelebrities.

SPEAKER_04 (34:49):
That's not true.
Oh, Dan.
Dan was able to name the woman'sbutthole that he saw falling in
a shower.
You're you have good odds,Alice.
Oh my god.
You have to name three and whythey help you survive.
Okay, all right.
All right, all right.
You can take a moment to thinkabout it.
You don't have to go right away.
Um I will be describing Alice uhis currently shaking wildly

(35:11):
their squishy toy onto theirface with uh stress, a stressed
face.

SPEAKER_09 (35:17):
Oh, that's a lot of reasons.
I hate myself.

SPEAKER_10 (35:19):
Um okay.

SPEAKER_08 (35:21):
So I would pick three of them.
That's such a high fuckingnumber.
I can barely count to three.
And I don't even drink.
Um so I would let me think ofthese people's names.
Hold on.

SPEAKER_04 (35:36):
I believe in you.

SPEAKER_08 (35:37):
Okay, so let's pick.
Let's pick.
And Dan, I will come to Vermontand beat you up if you don't
know any of these people.

SPEAKER_04 (35:44):
Wow.
Sounds like a good time.

SPEAKER_08 (35:48):
Okay.
All right.
So I would pick Norman Reedisjust because I think his time on
The Walking Dead probably taughthim some interesting situations.
Also, I think me and him wouldget along swimmingly.
Um, I would also choose PedroPascal, because we wouldn't want

(36:08):
Pedro on their team.
He is funny, he is a good guy,he hates Nazis, it's fantastic.
He also hates JK Rowling, whichI yes, please.

SPEAKER_00 (36:19):
Oh, yeah, that's a big plus.

SPEAKER_08 (36:21):
Big plus, isn't it?
I would also choose Johnny Depp.
He is my favorite actor.
Um he is funny, he would keepthe tone lighthearted, likely.
And if I ever wanted him toimitate Jack Sparrow just to
keep me entertained, he probablywould.

SPEAKER_04 (36:40):
Three good dudes.

SPEAKER_00 (36:41):
Yeah.
That's a solid survival teamright there.

SPEAKER_04 (36:45):
Would anyone like to challenge Alice?
Lori.

SPEAKER_00 (36:49):
Sylvester next.

SPEAKER_07 (36:51):
My three celebrities are Wesley Snipes, because he
can actually fight, yes.
So the two of us with swordswould dominate the playing field
versus both living and undead.

SPEAKER_00 (37:02):
Just don't ask him to do your taxes.

SPEAKER_07 (37:04):
He can all well, no, there's no taxes.
It's the apocalypse, right?
True.
But also, he can say thingslike, you know, some
motherfuckers are always tryingto ice skate a pill and put the
sunglasses on.
That would be great.
That would be like, ah, that'dbe awesome.
And he's very intimidating.
Um, number two, uh, celebritychef Gordon Ramsey.
Very important.
I feel like he could find a lotof things in the apocalypse to

(37:25):
keep us well fed and actuallytasting good.
All those cans of beans that westole from Jack.
Sorry, honey.
Um, we can make them delicious.
And then he could also beintimidating to that other group
of humans and call them an idiotsandwich should they try to
invade us and then like make funof their cooking talent.
And then by we would just, youknow, we would take over.
And third but not least, MariahCarey.

(37:47):
We need Mariah Carey and hershrill voice to explode the
undead's brains.

SPEAKER_09 (37:53):
Oh, yeah.
You ain't getting nobody else.

SPEAKER_07 (37:57):
Yeah, so I just like you know how the glasses break.
Mariah Carey could burst thebrains of the undead with one
song.
And should the uh you know theliving get too close, she can
just start singing, All I wantfor Christmas is you, no matter
what time of year it is, andwin.
We would win.

SPEAKER_04 (38:14):
Yeah, my brain would explain.
I would surrender immediately tomake her stop.

SPEAKER_07 (38:17):
Yeah.
I mean, we could we could keeplike, you know, like uh uh like
what is it, Demon Hunter, wherethey keep a piece of bamboo.
We'll keep a piece of bamboo inour mouth until it's ready to
unleash Mariah, and then yeah.
This does mean to Mariah, butit'd be mean to Mariah, but her
weapon is so powerful.

SPEAKER_05 (38:34):
I feel like that's how she won our celebrity
deathmatch.

SPEAKER_07 (38:37):
Mariah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (38:38):
Yeah, his head exploded.

SPEAKER_07 (38:42):
You gotta go to the brain.

SPEAKER_05 (38:44):
Oh, okay.
Um, so the first celebrity I'mgonna pick is Betty White,
because I miss Betty, so I don'tneed another reason besides
that.
Um don't start that.
I'm gonna pick um, let's see,Dolly Parton.
Because you know, I I have tolisten to Jolene every now and
then.

(39:04):
And so I'm gonna go with that.
And I'm gonna pick Trump so Ican feed him to the zombies.

SPEAKER_07 (39:12):
We do bait in the apocalypse.

SPEAKER_00 (39:15):
Somebody got it now.

unknown (39:16):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (39:16):
Eat the rich, as we say.
Here on zombie book.

SPEAKER_04 (39:22):
Yeah.
Got a trip to your favoritefriend.
Jack, do you have any celebritychoices you want to challenge
with?

SPEAKER_03 (39:28):
I do, yes.
Are they all British, though?
Um yeah, they're they're verywell not all of them British.
Okay, I'll get uh I would liketo choose um Alexander the
Great, uh the the greatestdominator of of modern history.
I'd also like to choose uhWinston Churchill to keep

(39:49):
everything politically incharge.
But um, I see that everybody hasalso been choosing uh like a
cultural person as well.
And I'd like to choose TomWaits, just so that while
everyone was going whileeverything is going really well,
we have Tom Waits in the backgoing the rats and bats and bats
in a pile.

SPEAKER_04 (40:09):
So these are some very different choices.

SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
Yeah.
You know, I I I there's there'ssome good ones in all of these.
Um I really appreciated uhWesley Snipes as an answer.
Uh ice skating uphill is beensomething that I've been saying
for decades.
Um I uh I gotta go with Lori.

(40:35):
Um, you know Gordon Ramsay isgreat to have on a team.

SPEAKER_06 (40:39):
Gordon Ramsey?

SPEAKER_00 (40:40):
Yeah, Mariah Carey with their sonic weapons.
Um I think I think all around,like that's the team that's
going to get you through somestuff.
Not to say that WinstonChurchill wouldn't be great, but
uh he he kind of needs a uh acountry to lead.
Um other than that, I feel likehe's kind of like a weeble
wobble.

SPEAKER_04 (41:00):
A weeble wobble.
Alice, it seems that theJeopardy is against thee.
Oh that's okay.
Your time will come.

SPEAKER_05 (41:06):
Your time will come.
Dolly's gonna find out aboutthis.

SPEAKER_04 (41:12):
Oh uh Alice, Jack, true contenders for the crown,
zero points both.
Sylvester, reigning Zombie WingKing, has 15 beans, and Lori
with 10.
Who shall go next?
I have forgotten who wentrecently, so who needs to go
next?
Who hasn't had a chance to gofirst in a while?

(41:34):
Jack Lori.

SPEAKER_03 (41:35):
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack House of Callahan! Okay,
um, I will go with um zombiesurvival 101 for 10, please.

SPEAKER_04 (41:45):
Alright, let's thou hast barricaded thyself in a
Walmart! What isle do thine turnto in thine stronghold and how?
Also, are there Walmarts in theUK?
No, there aren't.

SPEAKER_03 (42:02):
Um maybe a a Tesco's, then yeah, we do have
something slightly similar.
What is it?
Um dear.
An Aldi?
Uh we're telling that.
Um we don't really have anythinganything very similar to a um a
Walmart in in in Britain, but Ican try and think of something

(42:25):
similar.
Um super similar.
I definitely want food.
Food would be my main thing.
But then I'd also think aboutweapons.
And of course, um in Britain wealso have to think very clearly
about weapons because uh we wewe don't have access to the same
kind of things that you do, butwe do have access to things like

(42:47):
cricket bats and stuff likethat.
So I definitely have to chooselike the sports section,
something that I could get thatI could hit somebody else with.

SPEAKER_08 (43:02):
You always gotta be hitting someone else.

SPEAKER_04 (43:04):
Alice, does that mean you have a challenge to
this question?

SPEAKER_08 (43:07):
Uh sure, actually.
I'd probably choose thegardening section.
I'm not sure if everybody'sWalmarts are the same, but I
would probably choose thegardening section.
Not only is there a way to getoutside and away into the store
in case I need anything else,but it's near the pharmacy aisle
in my Walmart.
So I can have medicines,band-aids, everything like that.
Um, it's also near just likerandom displays of like Gatorade

(43:30):
and Powerade, which is great forhydration because you can last
longer with um without food thanyou can without drink.
Um so that would be my type ofpriority over food, is would be
water and drink and stuff likethat.
So and you can always grow yourown food in the gardening aisles
anyway.
That's a good point.
I can always just pick up agoddamn hoe and whack a bitch if
I fucking need to.

(43:52):
Whack a hoe.
That's for the hoes.

SPEAKER_07 (43:55):
She's not talking about the tools, she's talking
about people.
She's gonna pick up a hoe.

SPEAKER_05 (44:00):
Whacking.

SPEAKER_07 (44:00):
I mean, I'll pick up either hoe, either way.

SPEAKER_08 (44:03):
You gotta be willing in a zombie apocalypse.

SPEAKER_04 (44:05):
I just have to say, hoes out there listening, I love
you.
And you are also especially ifyou're in the gardening section.

SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
Yeah, all genders of hoes, you're welcome here at
Zombie Ween.

SPEAKER_08 (44:17):
And there's there's like long decorations you can
use to whack a zombie too, so Idon't necessarily need
deliberate weapons.
I can always make a weapon outof anything I see.
I believe that.

SPEAKER_04 (44:27):
Yeah.
Having watched you make a firewith a giant stick and also
feared for my life, then yousaved our dogs from fire
everywhere.
So thank you.

SPEAKER_08 (44:36):
I have no self-preservation.

SPEAKER_00 (44:40):
Perfect for the zombie.
You have dog preservation.
It's true.
That's and that's the onlypreservation you have.

SPEAKER_07 (44:48):
Uh Lori.
I want to hear what Sylvesterhas to say because I'm torn
between these two.
I'm probably gonna picksomeone's aisle to go into.
Uh see.
Where are you going, Sylvester?
So I mean, you're invited tomine, Lori.

SPEAKER_05 (45:01):
Thank you.
So I have to be in the aisle.
I can't just be in the backwhere everything is.
And this is the bonus.

SPEAKER_04 (45:07):
I did say aisle.
Dang.

SPEAKER_05 (45:10):
Um, let's see.
So I'm probably gonna be in thehunting session, being that we
do have guns over here.
And they also got thatdehydrated food.
I'm still gonna patrol Walmart,but this is where everything is,
my main station, just in casesomebody comes in, I need to

(45:30):
kill them.
I'll I'll I'll go with that.
And I got a tent and everything.

SPEAKER_04 (45:34):
So yeah.
That is true.

SPEAKER_05 (45:36):
All of those things are in the airplanes section.
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (45:39):
Very comfortable chairs.
Because that's what I wasthinking too.
Like, I think there's dehydratedfood, like, then they have like
MRE type session, plus there'sguns, there's fishing equipment,
blow-up beds, fishing and thewalls.
I guess the the pet section youcould go to the I was actually

(46:00):
Dan, Dan, Dan.
I was gonna say the gardening isgreat too, but I might actually
end up in the pet section.
Um, maybe if I'm hungry enough,uh, with some beans on crackers.
Um I want to take care of theanimals, and I think that I
could train them to be my likeassassins.

(46:22):
Like, yeah, send out theWalmart.
I'm gonna train the birds, theparrots, specifically to go
steal the food, carry it back tome.
Um, I could use like the leashesand things to tie people up if
they come into my business.
Um, but there's plenty of foodthere to keep the animals alive

(46:42):
to train them to be my minions.
That's what I was gonna say.
You know, I'm missing out on myWalmart because my Walmart's so
bad.
There's no I would also sendcarrier pigeons over to Ali to
have a truce so we could be inour own Walmart army for when
you know, like the real bed theycome.
And of course, Leah, you know, Ineed to go into the craft aisle,

(47:05):
the stationary aisle, and fillmy junk jet full of porcelain
items so I can shoot them at theyes, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 (47:13):
I will sing to you in uh Little Mermaid.

SPEAKER_08 (47:16):
Yes, you know, this is do you have do you guys have
pets at your walnuts?

SPEAKER_05 (47:22):
They they used to have they used to have birds and
fish at birds, fish, yeah,lizards, aquariums.
But now they just the onesaround us, now they just sell
them.
They just sell the uh equipment.

SPEAKER_07 (47:40):
They don't have dogs or cats, but they have birds and
like hamsters.
Big city Walmart.
Oh my god, hamsters.
A hamster at Walmart.
I I have a question.
Oh no, don't do that.
I wouldn't kill them.
That would be like theprojectile, and then the hamster
would kill the raid.

SPEAKER_04 (48:00):
Interesting.
Do you wish you had a Walmart,Jack?
After hearing us talk about allthe things you could have in one
place.

SPEAKER_03 (48:06):
Well, no, I was just about I was just about to say,
um, um, Sylvester, uh, are youliterally talking about um that
you can walk into a shop and buya gun?
Yes.
No, no, because um in Britain wecan't do that.
Guns are illegal.

SPEAKER_08 (48:23):
Yeah, no, the US you can just there's machetes in
Walmart for that.

SPEAKER_05 (48:27):
I'm sure we realize we have a problem.

SPEAKER_08 (48:30):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (48:33):
In Texas, we have constitutional carry.
You can just walk around with agun on your hip anywhere you
want to go in Texas.
Walmart is oh my god, Texas iscrazy.

SPEAKER_04 (48:43):
That's terrifying.

SPEAKER_03 (48:45):
So tie um tying it back to what I said with my with
my answer to the question, um,you're all talking about like,
oh, I'll I'll just go and get agun.
But unfortunately, in mycountry, I can't I can't get a
gun.

SPEAKER_07 (49:00):
I mean, I'm sure I'm training the birds in my
opinion.
Did anybody get points?
Did anybody get points for thatthing?
Not yet.

SPEAKER_00 (49:07):
I'm still listening to you guys discussing the finer
points of Walmart.

SPEAKER_04 (49:13):
Disperse thine beans so we may take a break.

SPEAKER_00 (49:16):
So I have I have decreed who has the beans.

SPEAKER_08 (49:20):
Uh while also have to be creative in the zombie
apocalypse because even if youhave a gun, if you have ammo,
that gun is goddamn useless.
So my garden gnome can do moredamage than your gun if you
ain't got the fucking ammo.

SPEAKER_05 (49:33):
Garden gnome could go in junk jet, too.

SPEAKER_08 (49:39):
You can load it.

SPEAKER_07 (49:45):
I can send you pigeon droppings and you can use
it as fertilizer.
We can be friends.
We have robins, that's about it.
And then I'm gonna load all thecans of beans into the junk jet
and shoot them over to Jack.
Peace offering.
That's we're just all in thesame Walmart, dude.

SPEAKER_03 (50:02):
Yeah, but yeah, but that's not that's not like um
bullets, though, is it?

SPEAKER_09 (50:07):
No, it's friendly.
I was thinking, like friendly,you're came with the penis with
love.

SPEAKER_05 (50:12):
Jack, do they have like crossbows and stuff at
stores?
No, no, no, they're aboutmachetes.

SPEAKER_00 (50:18):
Do they have machetes, Jack?

SPEAKER_03 (50:20):
No.
Machetis are illegal.

SPEAKER_00 (50:23):
Wow.
Oh my god, these are illegal.
Yeah, there was a whole thing.

SPEAKER_07 (50:26):
I didn't think, or are they illegal to have in your
house?

SPEAKER_03 (50:31):
They're illegal to have in your house.

SPEAKER_07 (50:32):
A machete?

SPEAKER_03 (50:34):
Yeah, I know they have um I got like a big thing.
You wanna you you you wanna cometo you wanna come to the UK and
see how much shit we think isillegal?
It's it's so much.

SPEAKER_07 (50:44):
Um I know they have like I would love to show you my
knife collection and my machetecollection sometime.

SPEAKER_08 (50:49):
I have a tiny little multi-tool and a pocket knife.

SPEAKER_07 (50:52):
I love it.
Oh and don't forget your minicrowbar.
And I love chainsaw in mybackyard in two weeks.

SPEAKER_03 (51:00):
Make sure you tune in.
Is um is your pocket knife uhlonger than three inches?
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (51:06):
Depends on where you start measuring.

SPEAKER_04 (51:10):
I don't think so, to be honest.
I can't see this.

SPEAKER_05 (51:16):
That is a solid, like six inches.
Is that a six inch?
It's just kind of revealed howviolent we are over here.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (51:25):
I use mine as a tool, not a weapon.
I cut bailing twine and shitopen.

SPEAKER_04 (51:29):
That's important.

SPEAKER_09 (51:30):
If I have to use it, I will, but you collect
muscashes with mine, it's fine.

SPEAKER_04 (51:36):
All right.

SPEAKER_09 (51:39):
I'm going to stop this.

SPEAKER_04 (51:40):
I'm going to stop this because I need to pee, and
Dan needs to disperse somebeans.

SPEAKER_00 (51:47):
Yes, I was ready to disperse these beans 10 minutes
ago and we got into this heateddiscussion about Walmart.
Um, but uh, while I think all ofyou had great, great answers, I
think longevity speaking, Alicewins this one because and it's
also something I'd neverconsidered before is going to
the garden section because it'sit's the only place in Walmart

(52:09):
that gets sunlight and hasplants and fertilizer and plant
food.
And you could grow a wholegarden.
Wow.
We could make explosives andthere's hose.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_08 (52:22):
I love blowing stuff up, so I haven't blown anything
up yet, but like in my heart Ihave.

SPEAKER_04 (52:30):
In your heart.
In my heart.
Uh I who who's next here?
Who wants to go next?
Just pick one.

SPEAKER_00 (52:39):
Oh, I think Alice goes next because Alice Alice
won.

SPEAKER_04 (52:42):
No, I just picked though, uh before Jack.
So it should be someone else.
I was doing that, but I wastrying to make a rotation.

SPEAKER_07 (52:47):
Yeah.
Do Lori.
Lori.
Beans for 20, Dan.
Which which 20?
Let's do zombie blockbusterpitches for 20, please.

SPEAKER_04 (53:02):
Let's see what's behind this.
I don't remember.
Ah, this one may require somecontext for our good friend Jack
from across the ocean.
Zombies appear on Shark Tank,which is Zack, uh, Zack Jack.
Jack Zack.
Do you know what that is?

SPEAKER_03 (53:16):
Um, yes, we have something similar in UK.

SPEAKER_04 (53:18):
Okay.
Nice.
Zombies appear on Shark Tank.

SPEAKER_07 (53:22):
What do they pitch?
They are going to pitch denturecream.
Because the thing that is soimportant to zombies is their
teeth.
That's how they survive, that'show they bite people, turn them,
eat, right?
So what happens to the zombiethat on their Tinder posted that

(53:42):
they had no teeth?
Um, they need a good set ofdentures.
And the way that they sell thedenture cream is to say that it
is it it not only restores theflesh and locks the teeth in, it
also smells minty fresh becauseit's important in the apocalypse
to not stink like dead fish.
The rest of you will smell likedead fish and beans.
However, your mouth will beminty fresh so you can go bite

(54:06):
that person, your lover.

unknown (54:09):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (54:09):
Thank you.
I you know, I think that uh thatI might want to invest in that.

SPEAKER_04 (54:16):
Anyone here seen their grandparents without their
dentures?
It's terrifying.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (54:21):
I remember the first time I saw that.
It was actually my my neighborwhen I was like three, and
they're like, You want to seesomething, kid?
And then they pulled their teethout and like, ah, they ran away,
and I was traumatized.

SPEAKER_07 (54:34):
You know, my grandpa used to rattle his teeth in his
mouth.
So you'd look at him and he'dsmile real big and his teeth
would go, and you're like, Thisis not okay.
This is not okay.

SPEAKER_04 (54:46):
Does anyone else have a pitch they would like
zombies to make on Shark Tank?

SPEAKER_03 (54:51):
Yeah, definitely.
Uh me.

SPEAKER_04 (54:54):
House of Callahan, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 (54:56):
Yeah.
I'd like to think that a zombiewould say on a a thing such as
Shark Tank, I'll eat someone youdon't like.
You eat someone I don't like,where's the fucking problem?

SPEAKER_00 (55:13):
So it's a service.
Like they're offering a uh amutual service of like an escort
service?

SPEAKER_08 (55:21):
Is it like an escort service where someone shows up
and then they just get here?
But not in the good way.

SPEAKER_02 (55:27):
Yeah, yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_07 (55:30):
Mutual mutual murder agreement for a fee.
Mutual cannibalism.
I take a bite, you take a bite.
Cooperative, cooperativecannibalism.

SPEAKER_09 (55:43):
Hey, hey.

SPEAKER_04 (55:45):
But how can the investors invest in
cooperatives?
They don't like those.
They don't want us to cooperate.
They want to be billionaires.
All right.
It depends who we're talkingabout.
Gonna help that 1%.
Sylvester, House of Barzi.
What's your zombies' pitch?

SPEAKER_05 (56:03):
They're gonna, yes.
They're gonna um they're gonnahave a social media-esque app
where we're gonna call it Builda Horde.
It's gonna be kind of like yourtender thing, where zombies,
introverted zombies, can findother zombies so they can
massively collect together andthen go after the humans.

(56:23):
So build a horde keeps you fromjust being alone in the
apocalypse.
Find like-minded people so youcould go eat like-minded people.

SPEAKER_08 (56:32):
But if they're introverts, would they leave
their house to join the horde?

SPEAKER_05 (56:35):
That's that's interesting.
That's uh that's a whole parttwo where we have zombie
counseling.

SPEAKER_08 (56:40):
But that's all right.
They just moan at the right timeevery time their therapist asks
a question, they just moan atthe right time.

SPEAKER_00 (56:47):
Oh my god.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mean we're fine.
We we love we love tech startupsbecause it's uh it's low and low
low investment on the front end.

SPEAKER_04 (56:58):
Yeah.
It's a fascinating one.
And this this is these are likewarm-bodied zombies where they
still have like dexterity intheir fingers to go on this app.

SPEAKER_09 (57:08):
Yes, yes.
Yeah, sure.

unknown (57:09):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (57:10):
Big big buttons.
Big buttons.
That could be part of yourselling.

SPEAKER_07 (57:18):
Does it read to them?
Denture cream.

SPEAKER_08 (57:22):
Alan, I'm gonna raise the bar.
I'm gonna say unlimited greenenergy via the electric hamster
wheel.
Oh, not furry off unlimitedenergy because all they do is
endlessly march.
They do not get tired.
So if you just invest maybe like30%, like million dollars, we
can bust out some hamster wheelselectric and get those zombies

(57:44):
going, provide all theelectricity you need.
There you go.
Who would the zombies bepitching that?
They're pitching, they'reputting their own people on the
hamster wheels.
Yeah, because they want so thething is the deal, the deal that
they would have to have to workout behind the doors is the
shark people get the money, butthey get the people that they
don't they want to eat.
So like it's a mutual agreement.

SPEAKER_07 (58:06):
I guess I'm gonna need energy.
I don't know.
My zombies are a littledifferent than Jack and I.
We both have like sympatheticzombies.
So I'm always like, don't putthe people on the hamster wheel,
that'd be terrible.

SPEAKER_04 (58:16):
Sylvester's blank.
Sylvester's seem nice too.

SPEAKER_07 (58:19):
Alice, the zombies is a this is uh this is um if it
was a person though, I see howAlice's plan works.

SPEAKER_05 (58:28):
Like they're gonna they're gonna control energy
through the zombie wheels.
Yeah, and then on the back end,once the capitalists have their
society, they're gonna cast outpeople who get eaten by the
zombies.

SPEAKER_04 (58:39):
So it's the justice system get eaten by a zombie.

SPEAKER_08 (58:42):
I mean, that's usually how it is, right?
That's that's what that's whatit is right now.
Listen, on Shark Cake, you gottaget something out of it too.
So the sharks get theirunlimited energy because zombies
never get tired, and then thezombies get their food.

SPEAKER_04 (58:54):
Who here has heard of Vermin Love Supreme, a
candidate for US president?

SPEAKER_09 (58:59):
Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 (59:00):
Alice, you might really like this person.
Their name is Vermin LoveSupreme.
That is indeed their legal name.
That's a real name?
Yes.
That's a real name.
They have they wear a rubberboot on top of their head like a
hat.
So imagine the part that yourleg goes in is like the part
that goes on their head.
And one of their um planks oftheir platform is exactly what
you just said, Alice.

(59:20):
So I think you need to look upVermin Love Supreme because they
are saying that we need tocreate renewable energy by
putting zombies on hamsterwheels.
How would we get the old?
Uh yes, this is real.
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 (59:33):
I'm guessing he didn't win.

SPEAKER_07 (59:35):
No, I feel like we need to vote for this person.
They're better than all theother options.
Oh, where are we getting thisbook?
Where we get one of the things.

SPEAKER_00 (59:42):
Vermin Love Supreme is not currently our president.
No, sadly.

SPEAKER_08 (59:46):
No, we have a goddamn orange fucking Cheeto.

SPEAKER_04 (59:50):
It gives Cheetos a bad name.
I love Cheetos.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (59:53):
So why?
That's why I don't understand.
How can you look so much like aCheeto and be so awful?

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:01):
All politicians are yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:04):
Yeah, I I knew a kid when I was 10 years old that
always had Cheeto dust all overhis face, and I hated him.
Wow.

SPEAKER_09 (01:00:09):
Oh discriminatory.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:15):
He was a terrible person.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:19):
Yeah.
It wasn't the Cheeto dust.
I was like, he's just Cheetos.
He can't.
I mean, yeah, he's messy, butyou can't hate him for that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:26):
Dan, thou must decree who gets the beans.
20 beans.
This could this could cur withour current standings, this
could put somebody in the leadvery in a very strong way.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:36):
It could.
It could put somebody in thelead.
Um I th I think I I gotta gowith Build a Horde.

SPEAKER_09 (01:00:44):
Oh.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:45):
Uh I you know, I think this is something that the
zombies need.
I think it's something that allzombies need, and all zombies
are going to be able to accesswith their unlimited access to
free phones on all of theirvictims.

SPEAKER_10 (01:01:00):
Um cheating for some.
I just forgot.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:04):
And they they need to build the horde.
So like I think this works out.
It's gonna make a lot of money.
You can run those ads.
Zombies will watch adsendlessly.
That's true.
And that would make money.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:16):
Yeah, just let the YouTube scroll.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:18):
And you know, I I love the the uh the zombie um uh
hamster wheel idea.
However, I feel like there's adanger of it becoming
decentralized and the publicbeing able to recreate this
technology for themselves, thusuh eliminating um our profit
share by not having uh a uh amonopoly on energy.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:42):
That is what a greedy rich person would say.

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:45):
Oh, I was like, I was confused for a second.
I was like, oh wait, no, he's ashark.
That's right.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:49):
Yeah, I'm a shark.
I'm the shark.

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:54):
All right.
I was like, what are you saying?

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:57):
Who are you right now?
We get two more options beforewe move into the final round.
Maybe three.
We'll see.
Who feels called to claim somebeans?
We all want beans.
I don't know what that was.
I'm gonna say Sylvester.
It is late.

(01:02:20):
But Sylvester, you did win, soyou are next.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:23):
Okay, all right.
Um, I'll do zombie tropes for20.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:28):
Everybody's getting bold here with the number of
beans.
You, Sylvester, are thereluctant leader of your
survivor group.
What is your very first,obviously bad motivational
speech to your group?

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:42):
My very first, obviously bad motivational
speech.
Um, let's see.
So I understand that in the realworld none of us would be
friends and that we don't likeeach other as it is right now.
But we need to get to theWalmart and take the other
people's things, and thenpossibly when we're fed and

(01:03:06):
we're safe, we can work on thestrife that's between all of us.
So that's all gonna be our firstinitiative that we're gonna move
to the Walmart.
And if you continue to complainabout moving to the Walmart,
then we're gonna leave youbehind in the middle of the
night.

SPEAKER_08 (01:03:23):
Just the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:25):
Just the middle of the night.
Wow.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:27):
I I am motivated.
I was just thinking that wouldbe like a really great way to
bring this country together.
Let's make sure we all have whatwe need and then we can hate
each other.
Oh, I thought you meant thatwe're gonna go take over a
Walmart.
Yes.
Actually, let's take over themeans of production.
Sounding like a communist here,sorry, United States government.
Let's take over the Walmarts.

(01:03:48):
And then once we've done that,we can fight it out or or maybe
like figure out that we we'reactually not so different after
all.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:56):
See?
If we have everything we needand someone's still being a
dick, then now we know you justa dick.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:05):
Why do dicks have to get a bad name?
Anyhow.
Who would like to challengeSylvester's uh obviously bad,
but maybe kind of motivationalspeech?
I'll do it.
Alice.

SPEAKER_08 (01:04:18):
Yeah.
Like, okay.
I know I am pretty short, but Istand before you today as your
leader.
I have not chosen myself.
For some reason, that guy overthere chose me.
But we will march against Jack'sbeans.
We will do what we can when wecan do it.
We'll try again somehow.
Some of you will die.
He will probably die.

(01:04:39):
Um, I'm the main character, Iwill not die.
So you're welcome.
Um, and when we have all ofJack's beans, I will get the
most.
We will divvy it up, and we willsurvive somehow.
Maybe not for a long time, buthonestly, I'm not here for a
long time.
I'm here for a good time.
So if y'all ruin that for me,we'll be we'll we'll we'll be

(01:05:00):
okay.
But just don't don't don't don'texpect to survive too long.
Don't get overzealous.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:09):
Would another leader like to step up to the plate and
give us uh their obviously badmotivational speech to the
group?
Lori.
Hello, everybody.

SPEAKER_07 (01:05:18):
I am in charge, I guess, for reasons.
I don't know.
We have a great mission in frontof us.
You see that giant building?
We're gonna go take the giantbuilding for reasons that I'm
not sure of.
Um, all of you are invited.
Bring your weapons.
I think there's about, I don'tknow, 600 zombies in there.
Not a problem, not a problem.

(01:05:38):
There's four of us, right?
We'll be fine.
Um and that building right therethat we're gonna take over, it's
uh it's full of zombies.
We already established there'sabout 600 and fireworks.
I think that if we uh we go in,Jack, you got your flare gun?
Yeah, we're gonna go in, you'regonna like signal with the flare

(01:05:59):
gun to let everybody know thatwe're there, and then that would
be perfect in the firework umwarehouse.
Nothing bad will happen, right?
And then next door, if we gethungry, we can go.
Yeah, that's the dog food plan.
So first the fireworks, then thedog food.
We'll be fine.
No, I'm not taking any questionsright now, Sylvester.

(01:06:21):
Put your hand down.
Everybody got their plan?
Fireworks, let's go.
Let's go.

SPEAKER_09 (01:06:31):
I did have Sylvester.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:34):
What's your question?
No, no questions, please.
Jack, give us thine zombie we'resorry, zombie bean king
motivational speech.

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:48):
Me?
Yes.
Um oh my god.
Um I uh I built have have to umdeclare that I am with Laurie
and I say that yep, it's and Isay that everybody who doth not
think that we are the greatestpeople in this um thing that

(01:07:09):
doth happen right now uh comethbefore us and um beg to say that
you that that you uh oh this isfucking stupid.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:25):
Okay I just beat my own people again.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:31):
I mean, that is a pretty bad motivation.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:33):
Yeah, I think Jack went to the biggest thing.
If we're if I'm scoring this upover how bad it is, first of
all, you just attached yourselfto Lori's plan.
Which is bad, which is a badplan in itself.
Then stumbled over your wordsand then gave up.

SPEAKER_06 (01:07:57):
You just bailed in the middle of the speech.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:00):
I'm gonna Jack, I'm gonna have to give it to you
because that's the worstmotivational speech ever heard.
Come on.
What do you want me to do?

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:11):
Wow.

SPEAKER_06 (01:08:13):
What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_04 (01:08:14):
It was 20 points right there.
You're in second place.
We have Sylvester reigningZombie Ween King at 35 beans.
Alice with a very decent amountof 10 beans, that would be one
solid meal.
Jack with 20 beans, Jack ZombieBean King.
That's come on now.
And Lori also with a modest 10,but it's not over yet.

(01:08:36):
I keep winning the low ones.
I got the five and the gotta getmore bold.
Jack, it is thouist's turn topick.
This may be the last or thesecond last option.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:48):
Pick your can I pick can I pick um zombie blockbuster
pitches for 10, please?
Come on, I'm gonna I'm gonnafigure this out.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:00):
A bean battle! Go get your bean back, get your
beans back from Sylvester.
I can't.

SPEAKER_09 (01:09:09):
Oh god, the bean is fine.
He's coming for your beans.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:12):
A bean battle.
Jack, you must now choose arival to wager your beans.
If you win, you get the beansfrom your rival.
If they win, they get the beansthat you've wagered.
And you must make make yourchoice and your wager of beans
before I show you the prompt.
Right.
Who do who do I have to wageragainst?

(01:09:33):
Any any folk here, Sylvester,Alice, or Lori?
I mean, you've got the most.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:39):
Sylvester has the most because he stolen from you.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:41):
Here, I'll show you.
Here's our results right now.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:46):
That didn't happen, Jack.
You'd remember that.
That in it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:52):
Sylvester, I'm gonna try and pinch them from you.
All right.
Um dude.
Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:00):
Hollywood's calling.
How much beans?
Oh my god.
I fucked up.
You didn't see that.

SPEAKER_09 (01:10:08):
I saw it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:09):
How many beans will you wager, Jack, in this
rivalry?

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:14):
Oh, absolutely.
All of your beans?

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:16):
How many beans is that?
Jack has 20 beans.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:19):
Yeah, 20 beans.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:20):
All right, Sylvester.
20 beans are on the line here.
Jack, you're gonna tell you.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Need this bean crown.
We really need it.
Hollywood is calling, but theproducer is a Nepo baby.
Toddler.
Tell us your movie pitch intoddler speak.

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:40):
Oh, fucking hell.

SPEAKER_04 (01:10:42):
There we go.

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:44):
No, um, so Besser has to go first.
No.
Oh no, I have to go.
Do I have to do it?
You do.

SPEAKER_08 (01:10:52):
Oh my little baby, you can do it.

SPEAKER_06 (01:10:56):
I believe in you.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:59):
Well, the things is that I believe when it comes to
the thing with the baby top,it's who fucking Do you have
dogs?

SPEAKER_10 (01:11:09):
You talk to like your animals?
I'm like, you don't do it to me.

SPEAKER_09 (01:11:15):
You're cutting me off.
Um Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:24):
I can't even look at you.

SPEAKER_09 (01:11:26):
I have to look away while you do that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:32):
Out of nowhere came the great and incredible thingy.
And all of a sudden came thegreat and terrible people who
all of a sudden wanted to biteyou, and they wanted to bite you
on the bottom.
And I said to myself, Oh my god,I don't want anyone to bite me
on the bottom.

(01:11:52):
And I looked at these people,and they had a great and
terrible face.

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:00):
I can't do it.
I'm sorry, I give up.
I give up.
Sylvester, do something betterthan me, please.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:09):
I would just like to pause for a moment and say that
we're going to a wedding afterthis.
And I just cried laughing sohard that I ruined my own
makeup.
You messed up her makeup.
I have to leave right afterthis, Sylvester.

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:22):
And now I'm gonna look like this.
No, Sylvester, please pleasebeat me.
I can't do this anymore.
So go ahead.

SPEAKER_08 (01:12:30):
I want to do this one.
This is fucking funny.

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:33):
No, no, Alice, if you no, Alice, if you've got it,
jump in and get it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:37):
Sylvester's been challenged for 20 beans.

SPEAKER_07 (01:12:40):
Sylvester's been challenged, she's gotta do it.
Yep.
Oh, he's saying to have Alice dothe pitch in the baby voice, and
if she wins, she gets the 15beans.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:48):
Oh, okay.
Yeah, you can ask you could youcould give it to Alice if you
wanted to, Sylvester, tochallenge on your baby.
I'll get the beans and youwon't.

SPEAKER_09 (01:12:55):
I'd rather lose on my own case.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:01):
Because then, you know, I don't want to have
problems when I don't get myscepter with Alice.
But let's go.
Okay.

SPEAKER_09 (01:13:07):
So the movie that I would like to make is going to
be it's um because um I wasthinking that we could have Miss
Rachel in the uh zombieapocalypse.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:23):
And then she could, she could, after she, after she
does the um ABCs, she could comeand then she could tell us as a
story, and then we could uh inmy um first, first, first, okay.

SPEAKER_09 (01:13:37):
So first I'm gonna be in my bluey PJs.
Okay, I'm gonna be in my blueyPJs, and then Miss Rachel will
take over the nearest Teresa Us.
My dad said Teresa Russ is notreal anymore.
He says it's gone, but I knowhe's lying.
So what we're gonna do is we'regonna take that over, and then

(01:13:59):
when the zombies come, we'regonna feed them, my brother, and
that's it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:06):
That's it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:09):
Dark twist at the end.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:12):
Yeah, that's just that dark.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:14):
That's some vicious, vicious Yeah, it had all the
elements, you know.
It had the uh the plot, it hadthat the uh the dark turn at the
end.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:23):
I didn't get myself for that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:26):
And also uh you made it all the way through, which
makes you automatically thewinner of that one.

SPEAKER_05 (01:14:34):
We baby talk for kids all the time.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:37):
Oh, we bet 20 too.
Jack, you have lost so manybeans.
Minus 20 for Jack.
Plus 20 for Sylvester.
The scepter is so close to beingyour hand.
Sylvester has 55 beans.
Alice has 10.
Jack has none again, stolentwice.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:57):
You know, Jack has lost more beans than most people
have ever had in their life.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:01):
Lori has 10, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:15:03):
Oh, what a terrible shame.
You came in, tried to take yourbeans back.
I respect that.
No.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:11):
We have time for one more challenge.
Unless, may I dare say, thatLori and Alice, you could
compete right now for 20 beanswith the same one if if thou
wantest.
Or would you like to pick a newone?
What?

SPEAKER_05 (01:15:23):
Oh would you like to baby talk for 20 beans?

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:26):
I'll do whatever Lori wants to deal.
Pick a new one.
I ain't going after that Elmoimpersonation for getting you
very good toddler speak, becausethat's it.
All I talk to with my dogs, butI don't know what Lori wants to
do.
No, let's do something else.
Because we got we got one left.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:40):
Let's do there is something else after this, but
one left of these.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:44):
Let's do it.
Zombie survival 101 for 20,Alex.
I mean, Dan.
Nice.

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:53):
It's actually Leah.
I'm not doing anything.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:55):
Leah.
Pick the left bean battle!

SPEAKER_04 (01:16:02):
For all he's got.
I'm gonna take them all.
For 55 beans, the former zombiewean queen is challenging the
current zombie ween king.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:13):
Uh you know, if you're going for the 55 beans, I
think uh it's important to pointout that well, if you lose,
it'll put you at negative 45beans.

SPEAKER_07 (01:16:22):
I'm okay with this.
Jack and I are friends and he'lljust send me some more beans.
Perfect.
Are you ready?
Ready.

SPEAKER_09 (01:16:31):
Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 (01:16:32):
The dollar is dead.
Bitcoin is useless.
In your apocalypse, the newcurrency is convince us it's
worth something.
Hot sauce.

SPEAKER_07 (01:16:43):
The new currency is hot sauce, my friends.
For multiple reasons.
Because one, that roadkill isgonna taste so much better with
some of my uh Jack's revenge ontop.
And Dan, as you know, it keepsthe ants away.
That's true.
So when you're up in that treehiding from the horde in your

(01:17:05):
inflatable bounce house up in atree, this is when we deploy the
hot sauce in a ring so the antscan't come eat us while the
horde goes by.
Also, also, the glass can beused as a weapon.
You can chuck that at somebody,right?
Explosion, and then you so youcan take out the living that
way, because you have uh youhave a deterrent.

(01:17:28):
And if you are a zombie fromPath of the Pill Rider, it helps
you remember your humanity andwhat it's like to eat.
Hot sauce, my friends, is thenew currency.
We have big bottles, smallbottles, we have five-ounce
woozies.
This is how we trade for thingsin the future.
It's a hot commodity, punintended.

SPEAKER_00 (01:17:48):
Spicy.
I mean, that was a good pitch.
That was good.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:51):
That was very good.

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:52):
Sylvester for 55 beans.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:56):
So, me and my kingdom of people have no plans
for currency.
We just take, but I'm gonna playyour game.
Okay.
And um what I think the bestcurrency would be for us is
probably seeds.
We're gonna trade in seeds.
Granted, you might find out yougot duped a little down the line
that your orange wasn't reallyan orange and you're growing

(01:18:18):
spinach, but that's that'ssomething you've gotta risk,
okay?
So I just feel like we can wecan trade for seeds.
One, it gives us foodregardless.
And then two, you know, I mean,depending on what kind of seeds
you cultivate, you can you canwe can rebuild the superiority
of things.
I could be hella rich if I'vegot like apples and and oranges,

(01:18:43):
and that would be the idealthing for us.
But I would also throw in thatthe kingdom does not trade, we
just take.
Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:53):
Don't think you want to plant your currency though.
If you trade it, why would youwant to plant?

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:58):
Well, it's gonna create more currency.
I mean, the seeds are gonna giveyou your fruit, you're gonna get
more seeds.
That's an investment.

SPEAKER_06 (01:19:03):
It's a slow that's like a scheme of financial own
money.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:08):
Yeah, it's like your own money, it ain't worth much.

SPEAKER_08 (01:19:12):
Can I add some can I add something even though I'm
not a part of this?

SPEAKER_09 (01:19:15):
Go ahead.

SPEAKER_08 (01:19:16):
I would I want to I want to say the best currency.
I want to say the best currencyis I do like hot sauce, Lori.
Fantastic.
I think the best currency wouldbe information.
Because if you know what yourneighbors got and someone you
else knows what they got, thenthey're willing to give you
whatever you need to get thatinformation.

(01:19:37):
I think information is the mostpowerful tool in the apocalypse.
Because if you know what's goingon, you're the most powerful
person there.
You know what they got, if youknow what she got, if you know
what's going down.
I think that's very powerful.
Problem solved.

SPEAKER_00 (01:19:52):
Wait, so everybody has to do it.
Does Alice get everyone'spoints?

SPEAKER_08 (01:19:57):
Or everyone has like everyone has their little
information.
Be like, if it's not in the beanbattle.

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:03):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (01:20:03):
No, I just wanted to say that I think that
information is very important.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:06):
That would be an interesting uh twist to this
game.

SPEAKER_05 (01:20:10):
I mean, you can you can go with hot sauce.
You can run that out.
So but I have a currency that'sgonna keep coming.

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:17):
So you know, I was really on board with with
Sylvester because um I thinkthat seeds are a really good
currency, but I I think I thinkwe pointed out a really big
problem in that currency isinflation.
You know, you you you plant youplant a you plant an apple tree,
then you got like 500 appleseeds, which is great as long as

(01:20:39):
nobody else is planting appletrees for you.
Um but uh Lori's hot sauce is aconsumable commodity.
Your hot sauce only becomes morevaluable as people consume it.
And I gotta go with Lori on thatone.
Because as a currency, it's justmore valuable.
Oh your hot sauce is gonna buyso much more seeds as people are

(01:21:05):
are consuming it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:21:06):
When all the hot sauce is gone, you're not
getting an apple from me.

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:11):
Yeah.
I'll just make some peppers andI'll make more hot sauces.
You can't eat money, you can'treally eat hot sauce.
You can drink it.
True.
You can eat it.
I can't, though.
Man, I really my makeup reallyis ruined looking at myself.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:26):
Yeah, but I have made hot sauce candy, so you can
eat hot sauce.

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:31):
This really breaks my heart, Sylvester.
I'm sorry.
It's a minus 55.
Lori suddenly in the lead toclaim the crown once again at 65
beans.

SPEAKER_00 (01:21:42):
But this is so devastating.
I actually feel so bad.

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:47):
Yes.
Uh but we are not yet donebecause there is an opportunity
for a sudden death round for thecrown.
Okay.
Everyone has the opportunity tostill get the crown, regardless
of beans.
Because Dan himself just saidthat seeds, which are beans, are

(01:22:09):
not as valuable as hot sauce.
Oh, it's a nice circle.
Okay, all came back around.
Hear ye, hear ye lend thineears, and what remains of thy
flesh and attend.
Each of thee hath threescoreheartbeats, that's 60 seconds,
mortals, to proclaim thysovereign monologue.

(01:22:29):
Speak as though thou alreadydost sit upon the dreaded throne
of the undead, and thine everybreath commandeth thine horde of
worm meat subjects.
Be grand, Brigo, be grotesque,be the very stuff of nightmare
and gory gory glory, I meant,alike.
Show forth thy most terrible ormost magnanimous self.

(01:22:53):
O monarch of brain eaters,devourers of descent, now speak
and let thy decree echo throughthe tombs of time to win thee
crown eternal or until the 2026Zombie Wien Game Show.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_08 (01:23:11):
Should we let Lori go first?

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:13):
I would like to go last.
I think Yeah, I think doesanyone feel uh ready?
Let's let's give 60 seconds.
Uh-huh.
60 seconds, think about it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:23:23):
Yeah.
Uh in the in that 60 seconds, umhow how is how does this work?

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:30):
So basically, you are giving us your speech as if
you have already won the throneand it is yours.
And it is yours to choose howyou want to talk to your
subjects.
Your your worm meat subjects.
So you can be you can be grand,grotesque, generous, or
terrible.
It's up to you.

SPEAKER_00 (01:23:49):
Nice.
I meant points-wise.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:51):
Oh, good question.
Well, you just only the beansare useless.
So, how much hot sauce are wewagering here?
Uh, I don't think anybody hasany hot sauce.
Well, except for Lori, I guess.
All right.
For 100 hot sauce bottles.
100 hot sauce bottles.
Oh, so if if the beans areuseless, yeah.

(01:24:13):
If they went there, you get 100hot sauce.

SPEAKER_08 (01:24:14):
Yeah, Alice is.
You did all that work forstealing beans and now they're
you can all that work forentertainment, Lori.
Entertainment is priceless.

SPEAKER_04 (01:24:23):
Yeah, right.
Alice, Alice's 10 beans, Lori's65 beans.
Dan, you have decreed as judgeit is not tender, legal tender.
So we have to use 100 bottles ofhot sauce.

SPEAKER_05 (01:24:34):
That's gets you nowhere, Lori.
Shame.

SPEAKER_09 (01:24:37):
You be careful, sir.

SPEAKER_07 (01:24:40):
Because you know what's coming, right?
I have a video for you.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm leaving, I'm leaving rightnow.
So I didn't I didn't make anyvideos today.

SPEAKER_00 (01:24:53):
So you're just gonna freestyle then.

SPEAKER_07 (01:24:56):
Well, I have something planned, but it is not
video.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:00):
All right.
Who is ready to share thedecree, their decree as the
royalty of Zombie Ween 2025?

SPEAKER_08 (01:25:09):
I'll go for fun.
Alice is what it is.
1001.
I stand before you today asneither your king nor queen.
I am your monarch of the undead.
We will march on the land of theliving.
We will take their hearts, holdthem in our hands, drink their
blood as if it is our water.
They will not win.

(01:25:30):
We will win.
We will reign supreme over theland.
It is this wasteland that isours.
We have the power, my shamblingfriends, my brain-dead brothers,
my lovely beings of everything.
The soil grows from our decay.
The living, they fear us.
We stand tall.

(01:25:51):
Follow me, and this world willbe ours.
We will have them on the kneeswe wish we had.
Their ankles will bend at ourwhim.
Their smiles will rip theircheekbones, and their tongue
will be our necklace.
Follow me if you want thisworld.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:12):
I am terrified.
You had me at ankles bending.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:22):
House of Sullivan.
That was scary.
Who is ready to go next?

SPEAKER_08 (01:26:26):
My heart is beating really fast.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:28):
It was brilliant.
Jack, I think you werevolunteering.
House of Callahan.
Yeah.
So you're on the throne.
You're on your trill.
He tells us all to fuck off andsays that he can't do this.

SPEAKER_07 (01:26:41):
He's gonna do a repeat of his earlier
motivational speech.
I'm still motivated by that.

SPEAKER_08 (01:26:46):
I don't know what you I don't know about you, but
I'm still motivated.

SPEAKER_03 (01:26:49):
No, I've got absolutely nothing.
That that was incredible.

SPEAKER_08 (01:26:53):
My gods.
Uh I have social examination andmy fucking heart is bracing.

SPEAKER_07 (01:27:02):
I can go, sure.
I was born into the zombiegenre.
Not that I can remember it.
We fled before Brandon'smustache could find us.
Brandon is your father's bestfriend, you know.
I wonder if your father knew hisbest friend challenged a girl
through the original zombie wingcrown.
Not that it matters, of course.

(01:27:23):
I spent my life defending myright to be in the room.
So many men have tried tomansplain to me.
I don't remember all theirnames.
I've been bullied like aredheaded stepchild.
I've been talked down to andbetrayed, laughed at, and
criticized.
And do you know what kept megoing and standing through all

(01:27:44):
those years?
Faith.
Not in publishers, not in mythsand legends, in myself, in Lori
Calcatera.
The world hasn't seen a zombiebear before.
Not until my first issue of Pathof the Pale Rider.
The zombie genre didn't havezombie ethics.
The backers supported Path ofthe Pale Rider, and they did it

(01:28:06):
for me.
I was born to wear the zombiewing crowned.
And I will.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:13):
I don't want to be ruled by any of you.
You're all terrifying.

SPEAKER_08 (01:28:18):
We'll twist ankles together, Lisa.
House of Calcutta.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:22):
I'm running away from you too.
We're no longer uh littlemermaid buddies.
Sylvella.
That's harsh.
House of Barzi.

SPEAKER_05 (01:28:30):
Yes.
Okay.
So as your king, your rulingking, because we had no doubt I
was gonna win anyway.
So, what I want my people, myzombie people to see, we need
food.
We need people.
So our main goal from now on isto not only just eat the people,

(01:28:54):
we need to bring them back.
We need to harvest, we need tofarm these human beings, and we
need to create food so we nolonger have to leave the kingdom
because outside the kingdom isdangerous.
We've already built our horde,we don't need to do that.
So, what we need to do is tokidnap as many human beings as
we can.
And um just, you know, basicallybreed them and use them like

(01:29:17):
cattle and bring back a wholenew nation for us.
So we don't have to, we don'thave to go scavage and hunt
anymore.
We are beyond that.
We are the future of this world.
This world has always been ours,they just didn't know it.
So I want you guys to rise upwith me.
Let's go out for one last timeand come back to our glorious

(01:29:42):
kingdom where we are on top ofthe food chain forever and ever.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:49):
I I like the cattle analogy, Sylvester, because it
makes me think are we going tomilk humans?

SPEAKER_05 (01:29:55):
I mean, if the zombies want milk, I don't know
what they might.

SPEAKER_06 (01:30:00):
I don't know what they want to eat.

SPEAKER_05 (01:30:02):
If they want to try to milk the humans, then yeah,
we could do that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:30:05):
So you're you're doing the agricultural
revolution, but for zombies.
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (01:30:10):
Yeah.
I don't want them to risk theirlives all the time hunting down
you humans.
They might get smarter.
We can't trust those humans.
So we gotta we gotta worksmarter than them.
Wow.
Do you think you can pull itoff?
Oh, do I think me and my zombiearmy could pull it off?
Yeah.
Of course.
I mean, I'm not gonna go intothis thinking I'm gonna lose.

(01:30:31):
That's not that you can't dothat.
You already lost if you do that.

SPEAKER_08 (01:30:35):
Don't be too cocky because cockies lose too.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:41):
I mean, aren't you, Alice and Sylvester, on the same
side here?
You want to use your hordes tobasically.
Oh yeah, but I'm not that's veryfair.

SPEAKER_08 (01:30:48):
I mean, but he's milking them.
I just want to drink, I want toI'm I'm after their blood.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:52):
You want to twist their ankles.
I mean, that's another form ofmilking them.
Blood.

SPEAKER_08 (01:30:55):
Because it's like you it if you twist their
ankles, they can't fuck you run.

SPEAKER_05 (01:31:00):
Yeah.
But I want to make sure that wedon't just eradicate our food
source.
We need to start continuing.

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:08):
That's smart.
Yeah.
So that's that's that's uh maybetoo smart.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:17):
For a zombie?

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:18):
Yeah.
Oh, this is tough.
I I was really hoping that Icould lean into this point
system to make my decision forit.
And now here I am with the fullweight of the decision on my
shoulders.
You know, I I absolved myself ofthe decision making last time,
and now here I am again havingto choose.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:39):
Uh this is not a democracy this year on Zombie
Ween because we're not living inone.
So we have to embrace yourtyrannical powers.

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (01:31:49):
Um love.

SPEAKER_00 (01:31:52):
Yeah, I feel like I feel like uh like Sylvester had
a really good action plan.
There were steps involved, therewas a goal at the end, um, and
uh it didn't involve any twistedankles, which I am of course
against um twisting ankles, thatis.
Uh so I'm I I gotta go, I gottago with Sylvester.

(01:32:16):
Two time.

SPEAKER_07 (01:32:18):
Hey, wait a minute.
I've got all the beans at theend, and that counts for
nothing.

SPEAKER_00 (01:32:25):
Apparently.
That's what I'm talking about.
I was planning on these beansbeing worth something.

SPEAKER_09 (01:32:34):
Me too.

SPEAKER_04 (01:32:35):
This just goes to show who has the real power in
this room.
Leo?
Me.
I am but a bon.
I'm a figurehead.
I am the the plotter behind thescenes.
I am the Stephen Miller ofProject Zombie Ween 2025.
And I am so sorry, Lori.

(01:32:55):
I did not know it would youwould be the shrapnel.
Also, Alice and Jeff.

SPEAKER_07 (01:32:59):
I'll give my crown to Jack because I wanted Jack to
have a zombie bean crown.

SPEAKER_05 (01:33:05):
That is sweet.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:07):
Well, Sylvester's like thank you, Sylvester, for
already giving your speech andletting us know that we are all
going to be farmed by you veryshortly.
Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:33:18):
I thought the speech was supposed to be how we
already won.
I pulled mine straight from Gameof Thrones, too.
That is a Daenerys Targaryen.
This is the second time I'vegiven two excellent speeches and
lots of buttons.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:35):
You know the Summerween slam down could occur
again.

SPEAKER_07 (01:33:38):
Oh no, no, no.
I ain't doing that again.

SPEAKER_05 (01:33:44):
My wife doesn't want me to shave.
That wouldn't be good.

SPEAKER_07 (01:33:47):
Oh no, no.
I don't want to that would just,my husband would be
uncomfortable if I just had acollection of mustaches in my
ball.
It's already weird.
He's like, you're doing what?
You get a dude's mustache?
That's weird.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:59):
I mean, aren't we all a little weird in this
particular group?
I think you gotta be.
Well, Sylvester,congratulations.
You are going to get a scepterto match your zombie ween meat
crown.
You all get a t-shirt that I amcurrently working on designing.
It's going to be a good time.
And I'm going to let you know alittle twist here, which is that

(01:34:23):
there is a Zombesties ChoiceAward.
So while Sylvester, you you willmaintain your monarchy.
It is your crown.
It is your throne of bones.
Somebody here could get a verytiny crown.
Oh.
That maybe is made of beans ifpeople vote for Jack.
Or Alice broken ankle bones?

(01:34:46):
I'm not sure.
I'll have to think about it.
Lori, you let me know what youwant your tiny little tiny
junkjet crown?
I'm not sure.
I want a sad pancake.

SPEAKER_07 (01:34:55):
I want you to make me a sad pancake.

SPEAKER_04 (01:34:56):
A sad pancake crown.
Oh, I'm gonna dismember sadpancake into a crown.
I mean, I mean that's true.
He's already a dead.

SPEAKER_07 (01:35:04):
It would be the happiest crown.
He'd be so happy.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:09):
He is a happy boy.
And the way that you can let usknow who you think the
Zombesties Choice Award shouldgo to is voting on Instagram.
You will see it uh in theannouncement when we post this.
Who you choose to be the tinymonarch.
It's up to you, Zombesties.
Did we get it right?
Or was someone horribly stolenfrom?

(01:35:31):
Not Jack.
Me! Jack was here for a goodtime.
Thank you, Jack.
All right, Sylvester, would youlike to pick your surprise
prize?
Oh yeah.
Surprise, prize.
Door number two.
Oh, there's a surprise prize?
Yes.
Choose your final spoils,Sylvester.
Okay.
House of Barzi.

SPEAKER_05 (01:35:52):
I'm gonna go with two.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:54):
It's not terrible.
Is it beans?

SPEAKER_05 (01:35:56):
Wait, I thought you like you knew something ahead of
me.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:59):
I don't know anything.
You get a let's click on it.
A light up LED toxic zombie halfmask for a total of 1999 beans.

SPEAKER_05 (01:36:12):
My kids are gonna hate me.

SPEAKER_04 (01:36:14):
That's cool, man.
What do you think?

SPEAKER_07 (01:36:17):
Will you wear this mask?

SPEAKER_04 (01:36:18):
Oh, no.

SPEAKER_09 (01:36:19):
I can wear it all the time.

SPEAKER_07 (01:36:20):
Dude, you gotta do what I do.
You gotta put it on while you'rein the pickup line at school.
That's that's yeah, when I bustout the zombie in the pickup
line in school.

SPEAKER_05 (01:36:30):
Well, they're homeschooled, so I'm just gonna
wear it when they wake up.

SPEAKER_04 (01:36:37):
Good morning.
Yeah.
Sylvester, as our two-yearreigning Zombie Ween King, do
you have any final words?
Yes.
Or are you gonna leave it all onthe floor with your decree?

SPEAKER_05 (01:36:49):
Um, I just want to thank you guys for always
putting this together.
This is amazing.
I always have a good time.
And um, you know, um yeah, I'mnot gonna say nothing against
Lori because I don't want hercoming after me.

SPEAKER_07 (01:37:01):
Almost some branded after you.
That's what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_04 (01:37:05):
Uh Sylvester, where can people find thee?

SPEAKER_05 (01:37:08):
Oh, yeah.
Um, you can uh you can find meat my website,
www.sylvestebarsi.com.
And on all social mediaplatforms, I am at Sylvester
Barzi.
So, you know, if you're lookingfor the Zombie King, you can
find me everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 (01:37:24):
Wonderful.
And are there any reasons youwould say the writhing masses of
the lowly public should choosethee as fan favorite, Zombesties
Choice Award?

SPEAKER_05 (01:37:32):
Oh, oh, the I I get to be voted on?

SPEAKER_04 (01:37:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:37:35):
Oh, um, I don't know.
I already won, so you might aswell just take it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:37:41):
Jack, what are your last words?
Where may the people find thee?
And why should the writhingmasses choose thee as fan
favorite?

SPEAKER_03 (01:37:50):
Yeah, I've I've got a new book coming out very soon.
And um, I'd I'd I'd loveeveryone to come and you know go
on to my uh all of all of my inuh Instagram and everything like
that.
Come but come and find me, I'llfind you, or you find me.
It's okay.
I'm on Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 (01:38:11):
We'll put it in the show notes.
He'll find you.
You heard it.
And if you like Jack's babytalk, maybe throw him a bean
crown, tiny bean crown.

SPEAKER_00 (01:38:21):
And if you see him on Tinder, swipe whatever way.
And if you see me on Tinder,make sure to swipe right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:38:27):
Okay.
I'll come and find you.

SPEAKER_07 (01:38:32):
Hi everybody, I'm Lori Calcutera.
You can find me on all socials,and you can watch my podcast,
The Tuesday Morning Brew, everyTuesday, um, on all sorts of
channels, but you can find me onuh YouTube, Lori Calcatera360.
Please check out Path of thePale Rider.
It's uh the wonderful book thatI love to talk about uh with

(01:38:53):
zombie ethics, zombie bears, andwe're going into the undead
retirement community, and it'sgoing to be traumatic.
Um, if you have been traumatizedby this episode like I have, um,
having thinking that you haveonce again secured the crown
only to be thwarted by SylvesterBarzi two years in a row, please

(01:39:14):
vote for me as the what is it,the Zombesti Award?
Zombesti's Choice Award.
Yeah, it would help me feelbetter.
I'll make your tiny scepter ifyou win.
I'm very sad.
I'm very sad at this moment, andI feel like I need to unleash
Brandon on Sylvester as payback.
Whoa.
Be prepared for that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:33):
Okay.
Alice, House of Sullivan, speakthine last words.

SPEAKER_08 (01:39:38):
Uh, Alice B.
Sullivan, you can find me on mywebsite, www.alisbsullivan.com.
I'm also on Facebook mostly.
You can also find me onInstagram, but I'm not that
active on it.
Um, check out the aftermathseries, the dog doesn't die, and
my characters are lesbians,which is great.
Um, I love my queer people.

(01:40:00):
Um, you should choose me as aZombasties, just because I think
it's lame that Dan would ratherbe bred as a like a cow than
have a twisted ankle.
So it's kind of fucked up.
But whatever floats your boat, Iguess.

SPEAKER_04 (01:40:18):
All links will be in the show notes.
It is time because I'mofficially late for this
wedding, and my makeup is ruinedby Jack Sullivan's baby talk.
Thank you, Jack.
For whoever would like to joinme, join us now in our ancient
hymn to the tune of NSync's Byebye bye.
All together now.
Are you ready?

(01:40:39):
What?
Might sound crazy, but theending.
Don't die.
Gonna have to fix my makeup now,so bye.
Bye.
Bye.

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ZombieWeen Gameshow 2025 | Zombie Book Club Ep 120

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}ZombieWeen Gameshow 2025 | Zombie Book Club Ep 120