Gandhi's Paper Cut

Who would have thought that a simple paper cut could get so much out of everyone?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Four. What would you talk about on your arm on
your podcast show? Hello, the fifteen Minute Morning Show podcast.
We're all here. There's Scotty b in the other room.
All right, there's Gandhi and Scotty. What Garrett is here? Daniell? Hello, straightenate? Hello?

(00:28):
What's going on? You know? So there are three things
that will make Danielle vomit. Number one clowns number two, mayonnaise.
Number three shirts. It's an angry vomit by the way, No, no, no,

(00:48):
I can't even touch that. I don't I don't mind
the Boston Red song. I don't catch I'll take it.
It's like I was. I was putting it out there asking, hey,
if you want to send us your favorite team's T shirts,
send it to me and I'll wear it. I gotta
wear that one day because someone was nice enough to

(01:08):
send it that one day when I'm not here. We
have two new ones today. What's that we have? The
uh oh, Norfolk tides? Nice like that? Norfolk? I said, Norfolk? Yeah, Norfolk.
You just like saying that, don't exactly. And also I
received this shirt representing the lovely Lancaster Barnstormer Barnes. Have

(01:33):
you been sniffing the armpits? Why would you do that?
I mean, is anybody sending used dirty shirts? Well all
of Okay, I just wasn't. I didn't see all of them. No,
I'm just curious as anyone sending you used shirts? Do
you sniff the armpits? So I got a shirt in
the mail. I would if there was no tag on it,
of course for me. And by the way, just because

(01:54):
I don't like the Boston Red Stacks doesn't mean I
don't like Boston, because Blessing is beautiful. I love visiting Boston.
It's just the team I don't like. Thank you, Yeah Yankees,
thank you. Fans typically don't like that exactly. And also
people wanted to see uh of art market tattoo. Bob
did class that so much. It looks like someone, But
I can't figure out who, not you, but someone else.

(02:17):
Who could it be? I don't know, but I love
here go back to us. I figured it out. Who
Billy Bob. Yeah, it's I can totally see that, but
I love how he did through the back of a
pizza box. I think that's actually Obama esque slightly. Yeah
Obama and Billy Bob. Yeah. Pictures of Billy Bob Thornton,

(02:40):
and you're wearing your best Charlie brown shirt. Dot. I
gonna take this call of God. Let me see if
somebody's really calling. Is there really pizza? I thought he
was just trying to get out of the room, so
we're trying to feel it was using it's aluminum foil. Oh,
so do you think he ordered ordered pizza? It's a

(03:00):
clean pizza, bark. You've tried the rest, Now try the
best every that's every pizza box in America. That not
that one though, No, h that's coolness. I think that's
by the way, that's a very large pizza box. What
kind of pizza would that be? Oh? God? Yeah? Large? Extra?
Are there any toppings checked? At the bottom? There's mushroom?

(03:22):
That's they don't nobody checks those. He checked everything, I know,
but you when you order pizza from a pizza place,
they don't check that ship is so right? Please? But
he's wearing his Charlie brown shirt in that in that picture.
That does anybody even read that anymore? That guy's been
good for years. They still printed every day classic peanuts. Yeah,

(03:45):
you want to see Scottie Barf. I don't want to
see your bloody finger. Do you got a paper cut earlier?
Paper cut? First of all, I've never seen so much
blood from a paper cut. Yeah, that's crazy, looks like
a crime. So's a paper gash it is, it's a
paper gas. I don't know what happened, but I held
it up to the the glass and Scott was like,
having a reaction there, I'm about to so I was.

(04:06):
I waited for my physical last week and they had
to draw blood like they always do, and I warned them.
I said, guys, it's not the needle. I don't care
about the sight of blood. It's a physical reaction. And
they refused to believe me, but sure enough, as soon
as they took the blood, my world started like an
all staticky I see like looking at your arm. Oh no,

(04:28):
I wasn't looking. Um, it's a physical reaction. It is
an absolute there's it's a medical thing that happens to
some If you're going to a doctor that doesn't know
what that is, maybe you should change doctor, well to
a doctor per se. I'm not gonna lie. I surprised
them with that, and then she's like, I gotta look
that up. What's frightening way I swear to god, I

(04:51):
would different medical professional. Scary. Where did you find this doctor?
Will they have blood check on Instagram? I'll say I'm
not really grossed out by a lot. But when I
was an EMT, we had to watch a birthing video.
Oh that was pretty I have no idea how you
weren't able to do that. I rented that on purpose,

(05:13):
a blockbuster when I was a kid, on purpose. Yeah,
would you that was the closest to porn he could get?
It was it was, it was free and there was
a vagina in it, so whatever. You know what else
we used to do when we were kids. When they
used to have the porn scrambled on TV. I used
to try and like look through it, like like squint
my eyes to see if I could unscramble up. Every
once in a while you would get a good scramble

(05:34):
and you'd see a nipple. Yes, yeah, on the Spice Chat,
the Spice Network and Odam and Eve and Adam and Eve. Ye,
this is what we did as kids. It's true. Yeah,
because it was like a squint and I was like,
oh my god, it's paused on a cool squiggle. Then
we got the discrambler and you could see it all.
My favorite is that Scotti used to keep a recording
device in the tampon aisle to hear people talking about

(05:56):
you did not story you did not that it wasn't illegal.
Probably he wanted to record a woman talking about buying
tampons and that turned you on. I don't know, I
wasn't sure if it was going to her at all. Well,
you missed what you rented at the at the video
store when he was younger. What a birthing video to

(06:16):
get his rocks all. I don't know you actually use
that as porn. No, I just wanted to see what
it was all about. That's good, though, you know, there's
nothing wrong with learning about how it's a miracle our
babies are born. I'm talking about we were kids. We
used to try and look at scrambled porn on TV
with the Spice Network when it was like squiggly and
it was like a hold held squiggle and see that.

(06:38):
I just I've never really been a porn freak. I mean,
I know it's there. I understand its importance for some people.
I've never well, freak is a huge like that. That's
definitely the one end of the spectrum. I mean you've
watched porn, right, yeah, but you're not like, oh, I
gotta watch about three hours worth, but three there's people
watch that much. I just don't three we're gonna do

(07:00):
in three hours? But back then it was inaccessible. It
was it wasn't it was any Internet. And I was
talking about when we were kids growing up in the
nineties and stuff, we didn't have that. So so now
it's accessible, So who cares because it's everywhere, right whatever.
Of the three hours we watched the Squiggles, we got
about thirty seconds. How do porn stars make money these
days because it's all free? I mean, is it fans?

(07:22):
Probably only fans. But prior to only fans, how did
they make because porn Hub has been putting up free stuff.
I don't know. Well, you know, we always have to
watch the ads, so I'm sure that there's high revenue
there and then they just get they give that to
the porn stars. No, so I watched I Forget. I
think Hot Girls Wanted Hot Girls only. It was a
Netflix documentary about the porn industry, and they make way

(07:43):
less money than you would think they make for the
things that you see. Dirk Giggler back in the day.
They talked about how the porn industry changed from the
seventies when it was in theaters to the eighties when
it was on VHS, and then that's when it went
straight down, like all the production values went down, and
that's when the stars made no money. I'm not a mistake,
and I think the women actually make less than the men,

(08:03):
even though they're like I used to. I think it
was the other way around for a while, not that
I would know. I used to. I was good friends
with a porn star, really yea a gay porn star.
How much did he make? I don't know how much
he made, but he drove a great car, and plus

(08:24):
he had rich old boyfriends. Was he gay or was
he like because yeah, he was gay, but you know,
he did very well. But this was in the nineteen eighties,
so that was probably the end of that. I think
paid more than straight porn. How do you know all this?
Or a friend? Yeah, I always wanted to be on
set just to like see what's going on. No, because

(08:47):
I feel like there's like a crew of like seventeen
people back there, and because you're actually and I'm like,
I just wouldn't just be in the background. They should
sell tickets, they'd make money. They do it themselves a
lot now I think they just set up cameras and
they filmed it themselves. You have to do Yeah, they
don't need a crew. You got the guy holding the boom.
One of my favorite films of all time is Boogie

(09:08):
Nights with Dirt Daggler. That's the one with with uh
Mark Wahlberg, and I mean just great, the whole cast.
It's all superstars and Bert what's his name is, Burt
Reynolds is the guy who runs this the porn studio.
And I wonder if that's how it was back then.
They would do the you know, the shots and this

(09:29):
and that, and I don't know. It seems very mechanical. Well,
having shot on film film, when you shoot on film,
you do need we were in film camera. You do
need great lighting, you do need a lot of it.
You need somebody recording sound because it's not part of
the film reel. So it's a much bigger production than

(09:50):
just a video recorder. Now, but with only fans, you
just put up a ring light and get a camera
and get in there, go live. I think AI is
going to change the porn game completely. Oh absolutely, If
not already, it's going to use whoever's image they want to.
You can do all kinds of stuff that most normal
people probably wouldn't want to do. I feel pretty good
about them not using me on the porn. You never know,

(10:13):
they could take your head and put it on someone
else's body. Well that's happened before. Don't ask how do
we get onto porn? Oh, Scottie, of course, no, oh,
scott Actually they all started from the paper cut. Yeah. Hey,
so how's that doing? Are you still gushing blood? I
hope not to the Gandhi's clot apparently not wondering about

(10:36):
my parents, she's not royalty. Yeah. Can I just tell
you I went back to the dermatologist yesterday to have
that little thing removed from my unit. And you know,
this dermatologist like must have a stable of young attractive assistance.
I don't understand. There was another different one in there
this time, and she's like, okay, sit down, you know,
take your pants off, and they're all looking at your unit. Yeah,

(10:56):
and then she opened the door while I had it out,
and he's like, oh no, no no, no, no, the door
like it's I just think it's weird that there's an
assistant in there. Would you rather have ugly assistance? Uh? Yeah,
but don't you have taken off of your unit. It's
a little mole, but his unit is so small. The unit.
The thing he's having taken off the unit is the unit.

(11:17):
I'm just saying. I think it's it's very uncomfortable. And
there's like, you know, young attractive people in the room
while that's going on. But hold on, we got a
problem here. What happened? Um, you just hit the but
because I don't know what went out, but I could
say this, you gotta speak into him. You gotta speak
into the microphone. It was doing that double thing with
the vox pro on the radio. So we're talking about

(11:38):
Scotty's unit. So I went out over the show. The
live shown we should really can't reconsider this, just for
the second one. I did that. Okay, so it's okay,
we're fine. It's you could hear it was just like, okay, okay,
we're fine, we're fine, moving on, Can we move on?

(12:00):
I love that. The last time that happened, it was
Gandhi telling me to fuck off. Yes, and then that
went out over across like eighty radio stations like what
we're kidding? It didn't really happen. Yeah, all right, well,
what else can we talk about? I think that's it? Wait, scary, Donnie.
Do they numb your penis before they take it off?
They don't number they freeze it. Oh yeah, how are

(12:20):
you healing a ten days? And what they are? They
testing it for something? No? No, no no, it's just you know,
it was just something that position. Yeah, I guess did
you take before and after picks? No, I don't take picks.
Did you get to keep the things the well? I
guess I could, but it falls off. Oh it's still
there is an award. No, you have a general awards. No,

(12:41):
you fuck herbs. You got herbs? Did it Did it
come from behind from your anal warts? Yes? Yes, all
of that. They spread, They spread from your anus to
your wiener. Yes, I'm gonna put it on eBay. I
promise you. You're weird. All right, Well, I think we're okay.
We gotta get out of your by the fifteen minute

(13:03):
Morning Show