Do You Have Crazy Neighbors?

We're talking all about neighbors we've had over the years and their crazy habits. What is your craziest neighbor story?

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Four. What would you talk about on your on your
podcasts show? Oh my god, look who's here? Hello? What's up? Hey?
Didn't see you? There? You making sure I'm fully dressed.

(00:23):
It's fifty mill show podcast and fully dressed straightenate. There's
uh Scotty be and Froggy is on in Jacksonville today,
and there is Gandhi and Scary and Garrett and of
course Danielle, who almost threw up four times today. Because
you people are just mean and not nice. I mean
and not nice. You just I wanted to say something

(00:47):
really rude, and I didn't say. There's a whole container
of mayonnaise out there? Should I bring it in? No?
She can't be in the same room as fascinating. Well
it is is soybean oil. You use cooking oil all days. Awful.
I don't think there's any that actually would make me
vomit if I just smelled it. Not food food food? Wait?
What's that that fruit? Oh? Vomit? Come quiet? Oh no?

(01:10):
No, no no, yeah, we ate it? Yes, Duran, Duran, how
do you get past the smell to eat it? Hold
your nose? Well, that's what I've been asking people for years.
Here's what Oh my God, what was that noise? Are
gonna meet for? What is that noise? Oh? Look, hold on,

(01:34):
it's here. What is it? I don't know what's some speaker?
I don't know what there. That was kind of cool,
it's wild. Do it again here, I'll turn it back
up pretty three one? Hello, Hey, it sounds like something
from the upside down. It's weird. Yeah, Durian duran fruit
that would make me vomit. Yes, the smell of it's

(01:56):
it's it's like vomit. But supposed to be really good
for you, right, Yeah, it's supposed to be great. If
you get past the smell, it's really good. It does.
It's yeah. Anyway, moving on, Looking at mayo is disgusting,
but eating it I find delicious. I think if you
just stare at it, it's gross. Well, don't stare at
your mayonnaise. Has anybody tried Mike's real mayonnaise? I see

(02:18):
billboards all over the place for it, but I've never
tried its fake mayonnaise. No, but no. The billboard, this
giant billboards and it said shit got real. But this
ship is covered with mayo and it says mayo got real.
My favorite mayo is CUPI. Oh, oh, yeah, that's the
Japanese one. Yeah, it's a great mayo. Do you should
try it? Oh? I can't wait? All right, what do
you want to talk about? Going? We brought up a

(02:40):
great topic today, your neighbors. Like, I feel like I'm
an anomaly. I get along with all of my neighbors,
very single one of them, very strange. If I see
them standing outside, I'll be like, hey, what's up, Sean,
how are you doing? Yeah, I'm not but we're not friendly.
We're not friends, I mean, but we live far apart
from each other, though they seem like nice people. Okay,
do you think that you're the weird guy in the

(03:01):
neighborly that old man Durande we the guy next door's
older than me anyway, Yeah, I know neighbors go oh.
I mean growing up, I live next to in Ohio,
the worst neighbors ever. And I'm sure they thought all
of us were the worst neighbors ever. But I lived
in a cul de sac. They were hated by everybody,

(03:23):
so I feel like it was them, it wasn't us.
I got in trouble for egging their house because I
did it because the oldest one always used to spy
on us, and he was spying on us when we
did it. Oh, so he watched us do it. It
was terrible. But you egged his house. Yeah, after a
series of ye yeah, it's terrible. I'm not even your neighbor.
I don't know, but my other neighbors were dope. I

(03:45):
love that scary you see. For me, the neighbor situation
depends on your living situation. When I was growing up
in Brooklyn, we had these attached row houses, so we
got to know our neighbors. They would come over for dessert.
Could you hear them on the other side of the
wall sometimes times? Yeah, this one neighbor. Yet on the
other side used to scream and yell, and we used
to like listen with the cup against the wall. Yeahen

(04:09):
to the arguments. Yeah yeah. However, right now my current situation,
I live in an apartment complex and I couldn't tell
you who my neighbors were if I picked them out
of a lineup. Well, don't you have a turd neighbor?
Well this, I have someone who lives below me who
thinks that I'm I have kids and I'm screaming and

(04:31):
yelling and running around and throwing things on the floor
so that she keeps hitting the roof with the broomstick
of my floor, and I'm like, this woman is hearing
voices I've gotten. I'm live alone, and I make no noise.
Do you stomp on the floor when she's banging on?
I don't play that game. Although you did you do
that when you came to my apartment once? Somebody did.
They said I'll show them and they started stamping on

(04:53):
the floor. Whatever. It was. Miserable um that person. But
I don't know the people around me. There's a guy
who plays the piano across the way. I don't know.
I've never seen them before. How do you never see neighbors?
It's just coming at different times. The apartments it's different.
Too close. It's like there's no separation, because when I
lived in apartments, You're like, he leaves right next door

(05:14):
to me. I don't want to talk to him because
he might hear me doing. But it's not like you
have a porch or a place to hang out our
congreg gate. It's like you go outside to throw your
garbage down the hallway, down the chute, and you go
back to your apartment and close the door. Again. So
there is no outdoor out door, there's no hangout out
the haway. You don't get to know these people. It's weird.
And in all fairness, you do leave early for work,

(05:35):
so your neighbors are like, oh, the weird guys leaving
early again every morning. Yeah, so or they think you're
coming in. Yes, they don't know is you're a door.
It takes like an event in an apartment building for
you to meet your neighbors. I remember the big blackout
when I lived in Hoboken. That's when I met all
the neighbors because no one had powered me. We're all
downstairs all night. Yeah, it's a great story. They did
have afternoon tea yesterday in my building. They did a

(05:57):
ladies afternoon tea for the women of the building, just
to get to know each other. Yeah, because, yeah, they
wanted to do that in my apartment building. When they
have gathering zone stairs, I make sure I'm not home.
I don't want to. I don't want to know my neighbors. Actually,
the people on my floor are very nice, right, I've
met them, that's cool. But people next to my house,
I don't. I don't know them. I only know Basil, right,

(06:17):
now is cool. He's my neighbor. Is he British? No?
Is it Basil? No, it's Basil. His name was Basil.
Isn't the herb? Yeah, God of Basil, he said, Basil.
He has two kids. He wanted to make sure they
weren't being too loud. So no, no, they're never nice,
very like Basil. Yeah, he's great. Growing up, we had
the mean lady. She was She was about six houses

(06:38):
down from us, and if you walked by her house
she would rip her door open in her house coat
and scream blood and murder at you. And then a
Halloween she would drive round at her Dodge Duster and
throw pennies at the kids. I hope to become her
thing happened to her like somebody two pennies from the
from the thing end and aluminum chairs one you know.

(07:03):
Every year they would have the garage sale to block sale,
yes right, and so we would go over there and
my grandma would have a sell sodas or whatever or
work the garage or whatever, and she said, do not
ever go across the street to whatever her name is house.
She's crazy. So whatever I mean, we just happened to
like walk on the grass one time and this woman

(07:23):
came out screaming at us. My grandma like full mama
bear mode activated I've never seen my grandmother runs so
fast and chewed this old lady O wow and U
before we called him Karen's yes, oh my god. But
she was the woman that would have like the candy
dish at the garage sale that's like six hundred dollars,

(07:45):
and she wouldn't like negotiate the price. We had missus
Gaskell oh across the street, and I had cats, and
the cats would go across the street and like ship
in her yard. She would know she would take it
and collect it and throw it on our front port.
We had the wicked Witch on the corner, Like the
witch on the corner which no one talked to. She

(08:06):
had a house that was like pushed back a little
bit and not as you know up front of the rest.
And she always had like weeds around it, so a sham. Yeah.
So all the kids would dare each other like did
you need to go to the witch's house and knocks
on the door. She's probably lonely, I guarantee she probably was.
Nobody ever saw her, but they would always say, go
to our house. And knock on the door and run away.
See what happens, you know, stupid things like that, and

(08:27):
we'd all dumbasses. We'd all do it house like which
came first, the angry old lady or the kids knocking
on the door. No, you're angry exactly. She's probably dead now.
I think probably she was all weird guy down the
street that would ride his lawnmoward night and he wouldn't
even be cutting grass. He would just be doing like
wheelies on his yea friends guy, but like my parents

(08:53):
were like, don't walk by his house alone. So I
think he made one of my friends. Lived next door
to a guy who woke up every morning and did
samurai stuff outside with sword and you can still find
it on YouTube. I think it's called Samurai Neighbor. Hilarious. Yeah,
he would just call on right now. We just had

(09:15):
the We just had almost a break in and my
mom's you know, actually are on our porch with samurai swords.
They had machetes or something, and they, yes, they came
on the porch, they had machetes. They tried to get
in the house. My mom's like these people they were
fighting with each other and they just wanted to come
in and get away from each other. My mom was like,
I'm not letting you in. And it was just the
whole big thing. We had to go in the backyard

(09:36):
to the neighbor's house. It was a mess. That's yeah,
that's where I grew up. She's laughing about it, back
at it and we all tell the story and go,
you remember the machetes. They're like, oh, now you know what.
Nothing happened. I lived a boring life. All I had
was cat crap thrown on my front porch. I want

(09:57):
the lady with drives, the duster to driver in the pans,
the kid that's my favorite. I collected. I picked them
all up. Of course you did. You did? All right? Well,
there's your fifteen morning show podcast. Here's entertaining. Is there
an elephant in the room? What? I don't wish. There's
just seems to be something going on here and I

(10:17):
don't know. I'm trying to buy the samuraighbor. That's all
I'm doing. There's something weird. Is someone detecting something weird
like I'm detecting? No, No, what is an odd feeling?
What are you feeling? I don't know. There's not smell.
I washed my hair with apple cider vinegar. Why are
you doing that? I read it's a cure for dandruff
or remedy. Did you get the shampoo? I told you

(10:39):
it didn't work. It didn't I forgot told me, yeah,
we tried that before. Now, okay, you know last time
you shared your feelings, Elvis, she said, none of us,
one person is not going to come into the studio,
like when we left our old studio to the new ones.
He goes, you got mad at me for saying I
just had a feeling, and Gandia had the same feeling
because about a break for Christmas break and the last
thing you said the people before for you we leave.

(11:01):
Just wanted y'all to know I have this feeling one
of us is not coming back the same thing like send.
I'm just telling you what's on my mind. Was to
squelch and keep Yes, yes, yes, we gotta get out
of wait. She's got the video? What a right for
the samurai? Can you can you do? Man? What's he doing?

(11:22):
Is that all the weekends he's practicing? Guys, that was
your neighbors, my friend's neighbor. He should meet Nate's neighbor. Yeah, seriously,
he doesn't look very good. Oh he needs a lot
more practice. So long anyways, by the fifteen minute Morning

(11:48):
Show