Do You Feel Old

What are some signs that make someone "old"?!?!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Firm Elvis represents fifteen minute morning show. That's no way
to start. So you're kidding, we've been up prefer like
how long six hours? At this point? This is this

(00:25):
is Oh, don't you guys? What? At what point did
you know you were getting old? Danielle? Oh, when I
get off the couch now sometimes and I go, oh,
that hurts, like and then that's when you know it's
settling in. It's settling in. I knew I was getting
old when I preferred slip on sneakers to laced one, okay,

(00:48):
because I just love not having to bend over or
sit down and tie shoes. I like to just take
my feet in the morning and just be like, slide
in one, slide in two. I could say something else
about that, but I wouldn't be very nice about nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
I don't know. I don't feel old. I know that

(01:09):
that's like a terrible answer, but I don't feel old ever.
I mean, I guess maybe some of the trends that
are back now from when we were in like elementary school.
I guess that would make you feel old because my well,
my mom always used to be like, oh, I used
to wear those pants when I was old, and now
I see, like, you know, flared jeans and stuff are back,
and I'm like, I used to wear those plants when
I was ten years old, Like why are we doing

(01:30):
this again? So I guess that would be one. Physically,
I feel good. Yeah, Elvis, at what point did you
feel or know you were old this morning? Getting out
of bed? There you okay? That's Daniel said the same
old or adult? I mean, which angry? I don't feel old.

(01:51):
I don't know. I'm not leaning into this. Well, you're
the youngest one in the room. Froggy, I feel like
you're kind of decrepited. Keep saying he knows he's getting decrepit.
Neither of you are decrepit. Maybe you are, but I
knew I was getting older when I struggled to reach

(02:13):
down and touch my toes or put my socks on
him like yeah, yeah, good. You know what you said
something Gandhi. If you're if you're getting old, just lean
into it. Well that's what I do. I lean into walls,
support yourself. Well, you don't want to know, you know
what you can feel. It's it's it's a different world.
Standing up and having balance and no, you can feel it. Okay, okay,

(02:34):
there's that. My mom. My mom's taking a balanced class
with all of her girlfriends. They keep falling into stuff
she's at that we keep falling, so she goes, I'm
so excited. I'm taking this balance class and every week
they go and they love it. I should started doing
balance class. Yeah, all of us like you. I was

(02:55):
laughing at me. No, you don't need a balance class.
I've never seen you fall down. Uh what was that? Yeah,
but when he fell it was in toxiccasions. When you fall,
you fall like you just don't fall, you fall. Mine's
kind of related to Froggy's. I have a little athletes
foot and I couldn't reach down to put the paste

(03:18):
in between my toes. This is a multilayered like how
do you get it? I feel I can't put my
entire fist up my asshole. I think old is much
more a state of mind. I don't look at anybody
in this room as being old. The oldest person I
would say, it's Scotty and he's not the oldest. He

(03:41):
just acts like he's on Today. I'm probably gonna find
out I have an optomatist appointment. I think I need glasses,
So that's what I'm gonna feel. You're all little kids
wear glasses, you know. Come on, I've had really good
vision for a very long time. I all of a sudden,
I can't see closer. Now, that's what happens. I remember
that's the day I felt old see you one day
and I could not see the next day. And they say,

(04:02):
that's that's how it happened. It's like overnight, and then
they found out Sheldon refuses. He refused for the longest
time to put on the reading glasses like he needed them,
so he would hold the phone or whatever he's reading
practically on the other side of the room. I'm like,
do you want men to take this paper outside so
you can actually see it? Put on your freaking glass

(04:23):
and it solus. Well, that's me with my hearing now,
I really probably should get hearing aids because I've got
ringing in my ears. Like we go out to like
eat and I'm like, huh, want to do what hearing? Fine?
How are you? What's going on right now? What happened

(04:43):
with your heard? I'm taking I'm taking well, I take
my PEPs in complete every day now and then I
take some tomus asns, just more old man stuff than
anybody else does. Well, I don't know Scotty's wearing control
top panties today. To have something called bird happening in

(05:04):
your body. I joke about being deaf. It's like you
say something and just say, oh, I get it now fine.
How are you if you move into like a like
a retirement community, are you considering like looking at your
you know, a house for like you, would that be something?

(05:25):
Would that be considered getting older? Or if you spend
more time on Facebook than you do on Instagram, that's
probably like oh yeah, I mean everyone's getting older at
every second of every day. The only thing dead. You're
older than you were when this conversation. You're the youngest

(05:46):
right now you will ever be again, you know like that, Okay,
this is how you really know you're old. So David
Kat's your business partner. I'm golfed with him and his
two friends that he went to high school with, so
they're all almost sixty and then catching up with fucking hilarious.
He goes, hey, do you remember Ray Johnstone? Yeah, he's
dead now, and they start dropping my Yeah, do you

(06:11):
remember Stevie. Yeah, he's been dead for like five years,
but his wife is getting like like, oh my god.
I used to call my mom and dad and they
would give me the weekly death report and it was
almost like, oh, yeah, here's the list of everyone who
died this week. My parents do the same thing that
that's going to be so sad because when you start
to get to that age where you start going to
more and more funerals of all your friends, like you
have to be sitting there thinking, gosh, we'll mind be next,

(06:32):
like seriously, but think about think about it this way.
Maybe it's actually a pretty cool point in your life
where you know you have a finite number of days
left no matter what. You know what I'm saying, I
don't know. It's like you start, you know, looking at
life through a different lens and appreciating life more when
you know you're about to die. It's weird because there
are things you go through, like you go through the
period where you go to a lot of young kids

(06:54):
birthday parties because your friends are having young kids, and
you go to a lot of weddings because y'all a
lot of your friends are getting married. When you get older,
you got a lot of funerals because all your friends
are dying. I mean, that is kind of a every Thursday.
Oh my god, that's my father. I was just about
to bring this up. He's got his Thursday night crew
and then he's got his Friday morning crew. My dad
had the same crew every morning Friday. They always did coffee.

(07:17):
Every morning they go for coffee. My grandpa did the
McDonald's mafia. They had the corner booth. There was six
guys and they just sit there for hours drinking coffee. Yah.
My grandfather would do that in front of seven eleven
with like his boys. Like they would sit there every
morning drinking coffee. It was like, who do you think
you are? So they're like a tough guy. Are you

(07:38):
joining it? But does anybody do this at restaurants? Use
your cell phone to look at the menu with the light?
I have not yet. All right, well that's not a
sign you're old. Then I really think we should focus
on Scotty's control top panties Today, pties, there's no control whatsoever.

(07:59):
Elvis saw them and goes, what the fund is that? Understand?
Pulling his underwear passed his nipples And I'm not kidding
a lot of weight, so maybe they don't fit. And
I get dressed in the dark and I pull whatever
underwear is on the top of the thing, so it
goes up to your nipple. What's this? Is that why

(08:22):
they're mine? They're they're like these satin Joe boxer boxer shorts.
How oh my god? Large? Like is that all the
way after your butt at that point when it must
be sinching something below? No, it's still comfortable. That's how
big those things are. You can put three people in those,
I might how far can you get? Can you get
them to your head? No, that's as far as they
can go before they rip. You make a frock out

(08:44):
of the fabric. We're talking about underwear? Can you show
your underwear? All those things? Like? Okay, well, who sent
these to you? I don't know. I just Danielle came
in and like throw them at me. It was like
this video said, hey, here's some period panting nine. I
don't want their purple petties. Wait, they're not only purple.
These are the biggest things I've ever seen there. They're

(09:04):
probably what Scotty's wearing. Big something more coming over my
pants right now. I probably pull them up to my mood?
What makes some period panties? So, I mean not to
get too descriptive, but they've got like an absorbent thing,
and und every female at every radio station, I don't

(09:27):
know them. You want to try, not right now, because
you're about the same size as what you got on.
It was very nice, It was very But why do
I think that's Scotty's had female panties on before? And
I hate that word, but do you remember once? There's

(09:47):
a picture of me somewhere once. It was in the nineties.
That's not a turn on. I don't know. Some guys
get into that. No, it wasn't. We were just messing around.
Hold on, we were messing around. Who were you with
when you put women's under her on? My old girlfriend? Okay? Yeah,
what what? What? What do you want? A k A.

(10:09):
My heart just skipped a beat. I'm so turned on
that comes out of his mouth. Every guy has tried
on some girly panties. No the Island, But yeah, I
put on my mother's panty hose when I was a kid.
There you go, Okay, one time? What there was? I

(10:30):
used to work in a store that do you remember
the remember the legs, panty hose that would come in
the eggs on the rack. I took it off one time,
went in the back room and tried them on. Did
you put them back in the egg? No? I did.
I threw them out and I didn't like the where
they felt. What are you talking to, Danielle? Hold on?
Hold on? Putting you on speaker hold on, hold on,

(10:51):
I'll call Brandon too if you want high Sheldon. Yes, Hello,
it's always such a pleasure, So let's talking about it.
Every Like Scotty said, every guy has tried on women's
panties at one time or another. So I'm calling you
to ask you. Well, I guess I'm just that and
normally because not in my wildest sports have I ever

(11:14):
been curious to try on women's panties? The way you
say that's even more disgusting. What a punties on the
or something like that was like a totally different like

(11:34):
flufy God. I think they call him knickers in uh Crown.
I've never been there. Hey, what else? I think you're done?
Are we doing? Brandon? You're on the speaker phone with everybody?
Um in your life? Have you ever tried on women's underwear? No, no,

(11:59):
what the what are you? Okay? Thanks, Okay, go back
to work. Bye. He's now he's got co workers around him.
He's going my girlfriend just called me a here, Alex answers,
why are we doing this, Scotty wrong? Okay, Scotty spears.

(12:25):
Everyone has warned every guy. And there's samiance he has
he's probably wearing him right now. I wouldn't be surprised
if Sam, if you have a peer friends, he's definitely trying.
He's definitely define women's panties. He's not answering, Scotty, what
were you saying? Do you have a girlfriend? Of what?
I was just gonna say, if you have a girlfriend,

(12:45):
that's fun or whatever, and you're just screwing around and
and they don't say, hey, try these on, I will ever,
or are you currently wearing women's panties ever? Women's panties?
Are you tried them on? Yes? I told you, I
told you, I told you I couldn't. I could make

(13:06):
a lot of of this. Are you wearing right now?
I wish? All right? All right, thank you, we use
you with what we needed. That's all I ask for.
Well everyone, goodbye. Yeah. The fifteen Minute Morning Show