December 19, 2022 • 15 mins
The show honors Sam on her birthday and give her a surprise!!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Elvis to Represents fifteen minute Morning Show. No, got it?
(00:31):
All right? Uh that's switch it being closed. So many buttons.
Uh all right, Willie, okay, ready, all right, welcome to
the fifteen minute Morning Show. I'm out of breath. I
(00:52):
don't know why is that it? Already talk to a doctor. No,
because I feel like every time I go, I've got
something else. I have tight in syndrome. Now that's that
actual thing. Syndrome. It's when your pants are too tight
and then your legs. I well, I got it starting
from a sports and injury. So I'm slightly cooler than
you are. But when I went to the PT, he
(01:13):
touched my hip or whatever and I curled up like
one of those like bugs, and he goes. The good
news is, I know what you have. The bad news is,
I've really only seen it in overweight people who put
their belts too tight. You know what I have? I
have waste band fold over. You have waist band fold Oh,
I've got it syndrome. And syndrome is that's when like
the elastic I don't know if women have it. So
(01:34):
much happening now, especially with your boxes shorts they have
like the thick waistband. Can you sit down? If it
starts to like curve over the next size, it's time
for the next size. It means your belly's hanging over
the like what's the what's the woman equivalent? Because the
guys it's the underwear, But like for we muffn't top
the hell out of ourselves. Oh yeah, yeah, this it's
(01:54):
just too tight, and then you wear like a looser
top to kind of cover. The banks are bad, I
was reading space. Thanks are bad because they they lead
to that tight pants syndrome. Yeah, oh, don't take spanks
away from us. I think I need him now too.
I'm gonna fit into a suit this new weekend. I
need Paris Banks looks like the student that was late
for class but stopped for Starbucks. Anyway, that was always me.
(02:18):
I used to stopping at donuts and walking into class
of the donut. I got ridden up a lot. But
we've got ridiculous. I mean, at least if you walked
in with nothing, I'll tell you what happened. What had
happened was I was walking from the back and I
heard Diamonds still talking her ship about not believing in dinosaurs.
So you know me skirt how to pull over and
yell at her again. But Andrew and Josh are handling it.
(02:38):
They have they have it handled. Yeah, that's what happened.
I'm like, sorry and my coffee. Okay, now that that's
out of the out of the way. We have a
special guest one if you want to pull that special
guest How well do you know one certain person in
this room? How long have you known one certain person
in this room? Special guest on the phone? Thirty two?
(03:01):
Thirty two? Well, actually thirty two years a nine months.
That's your mom. That's mom, Hi Mom, Hi you Sorry girl,
crying right now? Thank you? How I do want sorry,
but I have to do my phone. Happy birthday to you,
(03:24):
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Darling daughters, Samantha, I
love you, Happy birthday to you. Thank you. You guys
wonder why I cry so much? Is that one thirty
second clip of my life? Not proof as to why
it's genetic? She's such a cry baby and I am too.
(03:46):
And you'll this will never go away. I mean, Sam
will be eighty years old and you'll still make this
phone call on this day and saying happy birthday. Right, yeah,
I will, I will, God will thank you. Like my mom,
we'll call at the time I was born to six
am sing happy birthday and then give my aging months
(04:09):
because she's like months old today. I think you stopped
doing that. Thanks for the great idea. Okay, well, now
let's get to the dirt. Uh. Well, let's ask let's
ask the true question Sam's mom. Where does Sam rank
in the rankings of your favorite children? Yeah, okay, I
(04:30):
love them all dearly. She's my favorite in the moment
until you talk to the next one, and then that
person is Okay, here's the question. When was she your
least favorite child? What did she do that You're like,
I don't even want to know you. Please answer the question, mom,
don't don't feed bullshit here? Yeah, probably when she looked
me in the eyes through the top of her eyes,
(04:52):
gritting her teeth and holding her fits and saying no,
I won't. I was pretty defiance. Still does that. She
still does that. Good for you, Thank you. But then
I had to start looking down at you because you're
short and I grew like the same person. But I'm
big at hard, big hard. Are you just as as hard?
(05:13):
When it comes to playing like board games and stuff
that she has to win. Oh, he's a cheetah. I
am not a Cheatah, I'm sorry. I'm not a cheater.
I had to learn to let them all win. Are
you kidding? Any mother will tell you that pretty bad.
I don't really play games with her. Sam's mom. Who
(05:34):
where does Sam get the competitiveness from you? Or your husband?
There was a time. No, it's my husband. It's my husband. Yeah. Yeah,
it's a hand that depends on what we're talking about.
I'm competitive in business. He's competitive in sports. Okay, I
got the sports one right now, because god knows, I
(05:54):
don't know anything about this business world. I just play
with you because you're just like really animated about it,
and it stresses me herself. During a board game, Yeah,
(06:15):
you know where you're getting from. Wow. That I was
like twelve too, So that was Is this a discussion
you have as parents? You're like, Okay, when do we
start swearing in front of her? You don't have that discussion, really,
because my mom just do it. Just said fun. For
the first time ever, we were playing cards and I
won the hand. It was seven kings or whatever. I
(06:38):
don't know. If you guys ever played that, and she goes, funk,
I can't believe you want I'm like Jesus, Mom, like,
I never heard you two. She finally said the F word.
My mom says. My mom said she didn't curse until
we came along. That's what she she blames up. But no,
my kids, like they know, they know not to do it.
I mean, who knows what they do with their friends,
but they know not to do it in front of me. So,
(07:00):
you know, as of right now, in front of them,
I do. I try. I try to be better in
front of them, but it does slip. But I don't
curse at them. It's just like, oh my own crap,
Holy shit, Spencer, did you see this? You know it's
just you guys are young. You guys are young. Back
in the day, if I cursed in front of my mother,
she would take out the soap. You know, today we
(07:23):
all curse at the drop of a hat. Oh shit,
I dropped that Ba's in the day, your mother would
give it to you quick. Yeah, so you didn't curse, curse, curse,
We didn't curse. I was frightened, you know what my parents, No,
you don't know if I say something my mother. Really,
(07:46):
you have to use that language better than that. Started
cursing in front of my parents in the last five
to ten years. Actually, yeah, I don't know why I
don't curse at them, curse, never disrespect my parents down
there after to write a passage, you know, it's like
(08:10):
we're adults now. It released with tension. It really does.
It really doesn't if you google it. My daughter did,
my little one, and she says, mom, cursing is good.
It makes you feel better. Mold though the baby. I'm
one of three girls, and the youngest one was the
one cursing first. And then I was like, well, she's
gonna get away with it. Fine. The one they get
(08:33):
away with three. Thing I broke was not too long ago.
My both of my parents got angry at me and
they both called me an asshole. But yes, this was
and like sewhere it was the last time was the
last time I went home? Yeah, what happened? No, No,
(08:54):
they were they had a moment. They had a moment
they were trying to was secret from my sister. That
should not have been kept from my sister. So, I mean,
you know, my sister and I were like one. So
I told her and then lost their ship. So mad?
Did you hear my mom just now in that moment
when you said why, because she's like, no, they had
(09:15):
a moment. And then when you said I told my sister,
Mom goes, oh, well, yeah, they're I can't believe. I'm like,
you guys raised us to be best friends and ride
for each other. I'm gonna tell her I told her, yeah,
they're real mad. But I was like, the first time
I've ever seen them on the same page, Like, this
is a moment. He brings you together at the moment. Yeah. Yeah.
(09:37):
So Sam's mom, are we're going to see you crying
at the wedding? Oh? Yes? Oh yeah? Are you going
to actually not see you crying the wedding? Try that one?
I wish I make up. Yeah, I got a question
for you Sam's mom regarding the wedding. Actually, this is
(09:57):
all right. I'm being honest here because i' with a
lot of other parents being mom zilla. Is to what
extent are you taking over your daughter's wedding because you
want to impress your own guests? That is really a
funny question. You can ask that just Amantha. I'm lucky
if I get a word in Edgeway correct. But here's why. Yes, Mom,
(10:20):
thank you so much for that. Um, I feel like
show your work is important in these situations. So the
reason I play it so close to the best, and Mom, please,
I dare you to disagree with me here is she
and I fight so intensely and I am trying to
avoid that. So she we haven't been planning much together
(10:41):
as an act of love and relationship preservation because we're
going to kill each other. Like when she and my
little sister were disagreeing when my little sister was getting married,
it was a better fight than what it would be
with me and my mom. Like she does your mom
have asks and wants and needs for the wedding that
she's coming to you with because of her you know,
do you really? She has with her friends. But I
(11:02):
didn't be hand you a list and go this is
who I want invited for me. That's what happened. When
I was like, Mom, I can't afford to invite all
these people, she was like, sweetie, we wrote you a
big check. These people were included the same thing. It's
objectively fair. I just wish I got the head count earlier.
That's all. That's the wedding ourselves. But my mom did
(11:23):
the same thing. She's like, uh, no, no, these guys
need to Yeah, you need to Yeah, exactly what happened.
You could be up front about it, though I was
trying to be a smartass. I'm like, oh, so this
gift you're giving me is a conditional one, and she goes, yeah, okay,
because my question would be like, Mom, we haven't seen
(11:46):
this person in five years, doesn't matter they have to call, Like,
it's so stupid. I don't even know what to say
to them when they're there. You know. My thing is
I would pass them in a grocery store and not
know they are. They got to be there because they
need something to me and Daddy. That's what they Thanks
(12:09):
for the check. That's all I keep. That's my mantra.
Every time you invite and weddings, that's the way it is.
I'll invite them to my funeral. Then is that all right?
Can we break even there? You know what she did
say the old defend mom because this has turned into
huge fights between the two of us, is the only
fight slipping through the crack. And she totally soothed my
(12:31):
ego with this. She goes, if the people that you
don't want to invite because you don't know them, don't
cover their plate. Your dad and I will pay extra
for their plates, waring. That shut me the hell up,
because I actually really appreciated that perspective and that she
said she friends and you don't even know it. Are
(12:52):
you gonna tell us how much plates are? Jack? And
if the food sucks, he gives you less. I'm gonna
make sure that people are following scary around with the turn. Well,
that's actually a conversation we need to have in the room.
We need to figure out how much for giving her
because I can't give her less than steering. Yeah, we
got to figure that ship out. Call me, I'll tell you,
(13:15):
do not I what are you calling you? DA's mom?
I'll be d M you alright, check your d M.
Don't answer my best friends. Yes, that's Andrew. I'll tell you.
My rule is though, anyone who's flying to make the
wedding can't give me a gift because flights are expensive.
I'm driving very longer since I just want to put
(13:36):
I got a helicopter. I got a helicopter to fly.
I'm still not even sure I'm gonna be able to go.
It's make any because my family is doing a big
family reunion and it's Thanksgiving and it's on Friday, and
(13:58):
Thanksgiving it was Saturday, and you're like, okay, I can
bail out right Friday. Yeah, I just want to about
a good person. I am. I'm driving from Pittsburgh that
morning and then back after the wedding that night to
go away. But we're not making any plane. You're driving
that day that Friday. Yeah, you're not gonna get drunk.
(14:20):
I'm not going to drink. You could stay at my
house from that night and dare you? You're scary? What
you were going to make that bar gig to give
to Sam on her wedding day. Oh that'd be great.
Thank you so much. That's so sweet, great idea. Well,
(14:42):
it's it's our favorite day for Sam. She's one of
our favorites. And thank you Sam's mom for giving birth
to her thirty two years ago. Two was when I
had my first child. Oh well, we're barren in there.
We got a real empty mom in there. And Sam's mom,
thank you for not raising rent on Sam, because I
know you're you control the apartment, and thank you for
(15:05):
not raising her. I think you should really appreciate that.
Oh yeah, thanks, we get two extra people for that.
Shut up. Thanks Mom, I love you. Sorry you didn't
do the drugs with excuse me? The fifteen Minute Morning
(15:38):
Show
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Elvis to Represents fifteen minute Morning Show. No, got it?
(00:31):
All right? Uh that's switch it being closed. So many buttons.
Uh all right, Willie, okay, ready, all right, welcome to
the fifteen minute Morning Show. I'm out of breath. I
(00:52):
don't know why is that it? Already talk to a doctor. No,
because I feel like every time I go, I've got
something else. I have tight in syndrome. Now that's that
actual thing. Syndrome. It's when your pants are too tight
and then your legs. I well, I got it starting
from a sports and injury. So I'm slightly cooler than
you are. But when I went to the PT, he
(01:13):
touched my hip or whatever and I curled up like
one of those like bugs, and he goes. The good
news is, I know what you have. The bad news is,
I've really only seen it in overweight people who put
their belts too tight. You know what I have? I
have waste band fold over. You have waist band fold Oh,
I've got it syndrome. And syndrome is that's when like
the elastic I don't know if women have it. So
(01:34):
much happening now, especially with your boxes shorts they have
like the thick waistband. Can you sit down? If it
starts to like curve over the next size, it's time
for the next size. It means your belly's hanging over
the like what's the what's the woman equivalent? Because the
guys it's the underwear, But like for we muffn't top
the hell out of ourselves. Oh yeah, yeah, this it's
(01:54):
just too tight, and then you wear like a looser
top to kind of cover. The banks are bad, I
was reading space. Thanks are bad because they they lead
to that tight pants syndrome. Yeah, oh, don't take spanks
away from us. I think I need him now too.
I'm gonna fit into a suit this new weekend. I
need Paris Banks looks like the student that was late
for class but stopped for Starbucks. Anyway, that was always me.
(02:18):
I used to stopping at donuts and walking into class
of the donut. I got ridden up a lot. But
we've got ridiculous. I mean, at least if you walked
in with nothing, I'll tell you what happened. What had
happened was I was walking from the back and I
heard Diamonds still talking her ship about not believing in dinosaurs.
So you know me skirt how to pull over and
yell at her again. But Andrew and Josh are handling it.
(02:38):
They have they have it handled. Yeah, that's what happened.
I'm like, sorry and my coffee. Okay, now that that's
out of the out of the way. We have a
special guest one if you want to pull that special
guest How well do you know one certain person in
this room? How long have you known one certain person
in this room? Special guest on the phone? Thirty two?
(03:01):
Thirty two? Well, actually thirty two years a nine months.
That's your mom. That's mom, Hi Mom, Hi you Sorry girl,
crying right now? Thank you? How I do want sorry,
but I have to do my phone. Happy birthday to you,
(03:24):
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Darling daughters, Samantha, I
love you, Happy birthday to you. Thank you. You guys
wonder why I cry so much? Is that one thirty
second clip of my life? Not proof as to why
it's genetic? She's such a cry baby and I am too.
(03:46):
And you'll this will never go away. I mean, Sam
will be eighty years old and you'll still make this
phone call on this day and saying happy birthday. Right, yeah,
I will, I will, God will thank you. Like my mom,
we'll call at the time I was born to six
am sing happy birthday and then give my aging months
(04:09):
because she's like months old today. I think you stopped
doing that. Thanks for the great idea. Okay, well, now
let's get to the dirt. Uh. Well, let's ask let's
ask the true question Sam's mom. Where does Sam rank
in the rankings of your favorite children? Yeah, okay, I
(04:30):
love them all dearly. She's my favorite in the moment
until you talk to the next one, and then that
person is Okay, here's the question. When was she your
least favorite child? What did she do that You're like,
I don't even want to know you. Please answer the question, mom,
don't don't feed bullshit here? Yeah, probably when she looked
me in the eyes through the top of her eyes,
(04:52):
gritting her teeth and holding her fits and saying no,
I won't. I was pretty defiance. Still does that. She
still does that. Good for you, Thank you. But then
I had to start looking down at you because you're
short and I grew like the same person. But I'm
big at hard, big hard. Are you just as as hard?
(05:13):
When it comes to playing like board games and stuff
that she has to win. Oh, he's a cheetah. I
am not a Cheatah, I'm sorry. I'm not a cheater.
I had to learn to let them all win. Are
you kidding? Any mother will tell you that pretty bad.
I don't really play games with her. Sam's mom. Who
(05:34):
where does Sam get the competitiveness from you? Or your husband?
There was a time. No, it's my husband. It's my husband. Yeah. Yeah,
it's a hand that depends on what we're talking about.
I'm competitive in business. He's competitive in sports. Okay, I
got the sports one right now, because god knows, I
(05:54):
don't know anything about this business world. I just play
with you because you're just like really animated about it,
and it stresses me herself. During a board game, Yeah,
(06:15):
you know where you're getting from. Wow. That I was
like twelve too, So that was Is this a discussion
you have as parents? You're like, Okay, when do we
start swearing in front of her? You don't have that discussion, really,
because my mom just do it. Just said fun. For
the first time ever, we were playing cards and I
won the hand. It was seven kings or whatever. I
(06:38):
don't know. If you guys ever played that, and she goes, funk,
I can't believe you want I'm like Jesus, Mom, like,
I never heard you two. She finally said the F word.
My mom says. My mom said she didn't curse until
we came along. That's what she she blames up. But no,
my kids, like they know, they know not to do it.
I mean, who knows what they do with their friends,
but they know not to do it in front of me. So,
(07:00):
you know, as of right now, in front of them,
I do. I try. I try to be better in
front of them, but it does slip. But I don't
curse at them. It's just like, oh my own crap,
Holy shit, Spencer, did you see this? You know it's
just you guys are young. You guys are young. Back
in the day, if I cursed in front of my mother,
she would take out the soap. You know, today we
(07:23):
all curse at the drop of a hat. Oh shit,
I dropped that Ba's in the day, your mother would
give it to you quick. Yeah, so you didn't curse, curse, curse,
We didn't curse. I was frightened, you know what my parents, No,
you don't know if I say something my mother. Really,
(07:46):
you have to use that language better than that. Started
cursing in front of my parents in the last five
to ten years. Actually, yeah, I don't know why I
don't curse at them, curse, never disrespect my parents down
there after to write a passage, you know, it's like
(08:10):
we're adults now. It released with tension. It really does.
It really doesn't if you google it. My daughter did,
my little one, and she says, mom, cursing is good.
It makes you feel better. Mold though the baby. I'm
one of three girls, and the youngest one was the
one cursing first. And then I was like, well, she's
gonna get away with it. Fine. The one they get
(08:33):
away with three. Thing I broke was not too long ago.
My both of my parents got angry at me and
they both called me an asshole. But yes, this was
and like sewhere it was the last time was the
last time I went home? Yeah, what happened? No, No,
(08:54):
they were they had a moment. They had a moment
they were trying to was secret from my sister. That
should not have been kept from my sister. So, I mean,
you know, my sister and I were like one. So
I told her and then lost their ship. So mad?
Did you hear my mom just now in that moment
when you said why, because she's like, no, they had
(09:15):
a moment. And then when you said I told my sister,
Mom goes, oh, well, yeah, they're I can't believe. I'm like,
you guys raised us to be best friends and ride
for each other. I'm gonna tell her I told her, yeah,
they're real mad. But I was like, the first time
I've ever seen them on the same page, Like, this
is a moment. He brings you together at the moment. Yeah. Yeah.
(09:37):
So Sam's mom, are we're going to see you crying
at the wedding? Oh? Yes? Oh yeah? Are you going
to actually not see you crying the wedding? Try that one?
I wish I make up. Yeah, I got a question
for you Sam's mom regarding the wedding. Actually, this is
(09:57):
all right. I'm being honest here because i' with a
lot of other parents being mom zilla. Is to what
extent are you taking over your daughter's wedding because you
want to impress your own guests? That is really a
funny question. You can ask that just Amantha. I'm lucky
if I get a word in Edgeway correct. But here's why. Yes, Mom,
(10:20):
thank you so much for that. Um, I feel like
show your work is important in these situations. So the
reason I play it so close to the best, and Mom, please,
I dare you to disagree with me here is she
and I fight so intensely and I am trying to
avoid that. So she we haven't been planning much together
(10:41):
as an act of love and relationship preservation because we're
going to kill each other. Like when she and my
little sister were disagreeing when my little sister was getting married,
it was a better fight than what it would be
with me and my mom. Like she does your mom
have asks and wants and needs for the wedding that
she's coming to you with because of her you know,
do you really? She has with her friends. But I
(11:02):
didn't be hand you a list and go this is
who I want invited for me. That's what happened. When
I was like, Mom, I can't afford to invite all
these people, she was like, sweetie, we wrote you a
big check. These people were included the same thing. It's
objectively fair. I just wish I got the head count earlier.
That's all. That's the wedding ourselves. But my mom did
(11:23):
the same thing. She's like, uh, no, no, these guys
need to Yeah, you need to Yeah, exactly what happened.
You could be up front about it, though I was
trying to be a smartass. I'm like, oh, so this
gift you're giving me is a conditional one, and she goes, yeah, okay,
because my question would be like, Mom, we haven't seen
(11:46):
this person in five years, doesn't matter they have to call, Like,
it's so stupid. I don't even know what to say
to them when they're there. You know. My thing is
I would pass them in a grocery store and not
know they are. They got to be there because they
need something to me and Daddy. That's what they Thanks
(12:09):
for the check. That's all I keep. That's my mantra.
Every time you invite and weddings, that's the way it is.
I'll invite them to my funeral. Then is that all right?
Can we break even there? You know what she did
say the old defend mom because this has turned into
huge fights between the two of us, is the only
fight slipping through the crack. And she totally soothed my
(12:31):
ego with this. She goes, if the people that you
don't want to invite because you don't know them, don't
cover their plate. Your dad and I will pay extra
for their plates, waring. That shut me the hell up,
because I actually really appreciated that perspective and that she
said she friends and you don't even know it. Are
(12:52):
you gonna tell us how much plates are? Jack? And
if the food sucks, he gives you less. I'm gonna
make sure that people are following scary around with the turn. Well,
that's actually a conversation we need to have in the room.
We need to figure out how much for giving her
because I can't give her less than steering. Yeah, we
got to figure that ship out. Call me, I'll tell you,
(13:15):
do not I what are you calling you? DA's mom?
I'll be d M you alright, check your d M.
Don't answer my best friends. Yes, that's Andrew. I'll tell you.
My rule is though, anyone who's flying to make the
wedding can't give me a gift because flights are expensive.
I'm driving very longer since I just want to put
(13:36):
I got a helicopter. I got a helicopter to fly.
I'm still not even sure I'm gonna be able to go.
It's make any because my family is doing a big
family reunion and it's Thanksgiving and it's on Friday, and
(13:58):
Thanksgiving it was Saturday, and you're like, okay, I can
bail out right Friday. Yeah, I just want to about
a good person. I am. I'm driving from Pittsburgh that
morning and then back after the wedding that night to
go away. But we're not making any plane. You're driving
that day that Friday. Yeah, you're not gonna get drunk.
(14:20):
I'm not going to drink. You could stay at my
house from that night and dare you? You're scary? What
you were going to make that bar gig to give
to Sam on her wedding day. Oh that'd be great.
Thank you so much. That's so sweet, great idea. Well,
(14:42):
it's it's our favorite day for Sam. She's one of
our favorites. And thank you Sam's mom for giving birth
to her thirty two years ago. Two was when I
had my first child. Oh well, we're barren in there.
We got a real empty mom in there. And Sam's mom,
thank you for not raising rent on Sam, because I
know you're you control the apartment, and thank you for
(15:05):
not raising her. I think you should really appreciate that.
Oh yeah, thanks, we get two extra people for that.
Shut up. Thanks Mom, I love you. Sorry you didn't
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