What's in Nate's Pants

We cover many topics from 'What's in Nate's pants'? to Elvis and Alex Wedding!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present fifteen minute Morning Show. Welcome to the Ship Show. Hello,
now the fifteen minute Morning Ship Show. Hey, look, I'm sorry,

(00:24):
I look out of it. I haven't showered or anything.
I never ever walked downstairs the show. Whose hair is
higher right now? Nate's or Elvis's. Hold on, Nate, take
your hat off? Who's this higher? Oh? No, okay, I
think it's it might be need it's pull it up.
It's the worst feeling ever when you hear your phone

(00:45):
vibrating on the nightstand and it's one minute till six
and you're supposed to be on the air at six.
I'm like, fuck. But in all fairness, she didn't have
to go that far. Why doesn't Yeah? But still it's
it's it's still. It's still a mess. Anyway. So here
we are. There's Froggy, there's Gandhi. Danielle is not there,
but I see her Geko, her bearded dragon. In the background,

(01:09):
they're scary. There's Scotty b who can't hear us. There's
straight Nate, and there's Garrett and Brodie. Hey, Brodie, good morning,
best prop ever today. In the background, he always switches
it up. But today there's a little dog. Yeah, a
little dog. That's that's Yeah, she's nine, but yeah, it's uh,
that's Muzzarella. We call her Mutsie. But what you're not

(01:33):
seeing is we had a leftover hamburger in the house,
which I couldn't help myself. So I have the hamburger
here on the plate and that's the only reason she's
sitting here. Hey, by the way, I'm gandhi is really
low scary. Can you bring her up at this point?
How about? Now? Can you hear me? So here we

(01:55):
are during the fifteen minute Morning Show podcast. Does anyone
have any idea of what direction we should point this thing?
I thought we were talking about don Nate shitting himself. Yeah,
we're gonna point it down below. Nate spelt he started
the elevator and just left it there off camera. Here
the microphone. I just farted again, and its parts right,

(02:16):
he has those stinky hot parts. Ate, off camera? Can
you check and see if you sharted your pants? Yet?
Exactly I was gonna ask you camera, can you pull
your pants down and see if you sharted yourself? I'm
not going to do that morning shart because I feel
like I actually did shart because I don't. I don't
want to see it until I get okay. When you
move around in your seat, when a sniff the chair,

(02:40):
it's still I'm sorry, it smells bad up here? Can
you imagine when it smells like down? Here's the door
open between you two? Can you smell his shard? How
you lingered this way? You? I'll love how to scare
you my eyes? Scotty, come spell this O going in?
It's wrong. He always will go smell something. Do you

(03:04):
smell the shart? It may have dissipated a little bit?
Do you smell it all right? Yeah? I have a question.
So he doesn't want droplets? Last night? Last night we
made pasta. I made bowling and made it again today.
I'm just and nea, but I had the I can't

(03:28):
even pronounce it. Arabbiata busting mass Its very close. Scotty
be just lysoled him to death? Can I have a question?
Nate always wears the tightest pants. How does it even
have room to come out? Seriously, you would think it

(03:49):
would cork it up. Yeah, this is disgusting. You're you're
throwing up from lysol, but you won't throw up from
the smell of your guts falling out your hole? What
Nate's shark or mayonnaise? Oh? I would probably vomit more

(04:12):
from mayonnaise. Can we tell about something anything other than this? Oh? Look,
a's Nate? Nate? What's wrong? Pretty nasty? You're coughing up
the COVID? What? What? What is the first anniversary gift?
I have a question? Paper? Paper? Is it paper? So?

(04:35):
What are you getting? Stock? What are you getting? Hopefully?
I know for Nate's first anniversary he can get a
roll of toilet paper. That's paper. I don't know, you
know what. I ordered some stuff for Alex but Amazon
hasn't delivered it yet, so I'm kind of hoping to
show up soon. And uh, I don't know. He's taking
me out to some surprise lunch and he's gonna use

(04:55):
paper to pay for it or a COMI. So here's
what you have to look forward to. So last night
we're opening a bottle of wine for dinner and for
anniversary or seventh anniversary. I got ali plated that says
happy seventh anniversary. There and Alle. She looks at me
and she goes, who got us this? I go me surprise?

(05:21):
So who in your relationship is the best gift giver.
I'm the worst. Alex is the best. So I will
fail miserably every single time I think I am in
my relationship because I think about what Ali needs to
help her life get better, whatever it may be. So like,
if it's if it's something for work, if it's something
for her car, whatever it may be. I think about

(05:42):
what she needs, not what she wants. If I did that,
I would leave and come not come back home. Would's
life way better. Especially, Lisa is definitely the best gift
giver because I'll tell you what Lisa does. Lisa listens
all throughout the year. Or when I say something that

(06:04):
like something would be greater, I think something's really cool,
she logs it away or she makes a note of
it somewhere, and then later on it just shows up
and I'm like, wow, you remembered I said that. She's
so so she's always looking. But on the other hand,
she's always remembering things that you don't want her to remember.
Remember a year ago when you said, blah blah blah,
I'm still piste off. I get that all the time.

(06:25):
That's the secret though, That truly is a secret, because
I'll do shopping trips with Heather, and it's really not
a shopping trip for her to buy something. It's just
me doing living something and figuring out, yeah, what she likes,
what she wants. I do that anytime she wants. She
was like, let's go shoe shopping and I'm like, those suck.
You shouldn't buy those. But then I'll go buy him
for a kift. Look at little Mudsie one piece of

(06:50):
one piece of hamburger left. Oh my god. She has
quite the restraint. And as long as you leave it there,
so hang out with you the second you eat it.
She's if I give it to her, she'll go, I'll
give it to a se How long's you last? There?
We go, Okay, we had a great weekend with the dogs.
I'm just we're so so in love with our little family.

(07:11):
It's it's amazing for those who are not dog owners,
I get it. You know that they are a lot
of work. Who It changes your life for the bad
and then the good once they're once they get new
teeth and stuff. Yeah, the other day Rocky vomited, right,
so I come into the room. I just hear Rocky
get finished with It's like going there and I look

(07:32):
and Rex is eating it, and I'm like, would you
guys stop, Like I'm screaming at them, stop you thank
him for cleaning it up, Send him over. No, no,
he's gonna want to lick me in the mouth. Fifteen
minutes later, I'm like, no, no no, no, no, get away
from me. Yeah, you forget you quickly forget where their
mouth has been. All right, I'm not a dog owner.
Can somebody explain to me? White dogs do that? Why

(07:53):
do they eat that? Dogs? Catch it like out of
the gate, get it, it's cool. I don't you know.
When Max was a little puppy, he used to eat
his own poop a little bit. We called him. He
got out of that phase quickly. I read that was
a like defense mechanism thing though, because they want to
clean up their poop like in the wild, so the
other things don't smell them and know that they were there.

(08:13):
And yeah, I don't know how true that is? A right, Well,
then tell me this, Gandhi. Since you know so much
about dogs, why does my one dog with the other
dog's penis all the time and the other dog doesn't
like it and he won't stop Because wasn't that that's
your dog's Yeah, dogs can be gay. Froggy, It's okay,
that's what I thought. Elvis says, No, that's not the case.

(08:34):
I don't think that necessarily means your dog is gay.
I think it just means because they don't think of
they don't give blow jobs. If you walked in the room,
and if you walked in the room and I was
licking Nate's penis, what do you think that we were gay? Yes,
I mean a dog. I think you're a dog the
same reason that they lick you when you're sweaty, like
you want to believe that they're over there trying to
clean you up. But it's just salty and they like

(08:55):
the way it tastes, like when they lick your tears.
They're not trying to make you feel better. They just
like it. Live. Froggy called the other day, said, my
dog is trying to deep My other dogged his dog Pineapple,
he holds him down. I wouldn't want to lick Nate
right now, though. Honestly, when Garrett any other day, but

(09:16):
today's aving guy, look at look at Garrett's shirt in
the zoom room. Garrett pill your camera down to the concert. Yeah,
I didn't get one of those because everybody else started
taking them first, so I didn't get it. I didn't
get one of those. I didn't get one. I didn't
get that. Who wants it, I'll send it. It was

(09:36):
in your swag bag, I think, right, yeah, I think
we all got that at our hotel. But the store
that opened up after the after the ceremony itself, I
didn't realize the store. Yeah, I can tell you where
all that ship is. That's in Danielle's house because she
took one of everything. And then I got I got
this beautiful Um, I guess it's an iguana. It like

(10:00):
this big, and it's got all the colors of the
you know, the f from the beautiful Uh what the
whole day of the day wedding, thank you? I cannot
I doant you. If I looked it up on eBay,
some of that swag is up there guaranteed. What why

(10:20):
sell anything? I'm just saying it might be worth something.
I didn't get anything. I wouldn't give it that much.
But you know what, it has been a year and
we were watching the video last night and we started crying.
It was like, well, that was just the happiest night.
Everyone was in such a great mood, and it was
just everything was elevated. You know. It was just I

(10:42):
wish every night could be that magical, But I think
I guess we'd take it for granted, right, But Elvis,
So it's been a year and then you've heard most
of the stories of the night. Has there been a
story you just heard a year later about the about
the wedding night? We're hearing bits and pieces of people
hooking up with other people, leaving their spouse in the
hotel room and tip toeing down the hotel corridor into

(11:06):
another person. Yeah, a lot of a lot of drug use,
a lot of drug use that night. Those nights. Uh yeah,
I feel like I feel very left out. Nobody offered
me to come to their room, and nobody asked to
come to my room. So I feel very left you know.

(11:28):
And the wedding singer who vomited off the back of
the stage, but everyone knew that story. It was it
was just a night and whatever's it was all good.
But like I said before on the show, almost a
lot of guys, a lot of the gay guys are
at the wedding. They were like like picking up other
people and taking them back and doing them in the room,
and I'm like, Alex, we should have stayed. He's like,
it's on our wedding night. What are you talking about, Elvis.

(11:50):
How's the car doing? The car we gave away? Yeah,
I guess it's doing well. Does the guy still have it? Yeah? No,
he yeah, he still has it. And by the way,
I'll admit and he will probably admit too, he's the
last guy on earth that needed to win a car.
He could afford fifty cars. Yeah, there were so many
people there that when I pulled his name out and

(12:12):
I saw it, I almost said fuck it and put
it back and pull but it could have said any
name you wanted, exactly, because I mean, we're not being
governed by the state of New Mexico. And the winner
was doctor Oz. That was a great night. You really
ruined weddings, you know what I mean? Yeah? Good luck. Well,

(12:37):
we decided like we're going to do something in the backyard.
We're just gonna invite our immediate families because like, nothing
I do will ever even come close to that way.
That's not true. You got to do your own thing though.
That was over. No matter what you do it will be.
I went to two after yours. I went to tow
after your wedding, Elvis, and everyone would come up to

(12:58):
me like, so, what's this compared to Elvis's wedding. It
wasn't me saying anything. Everybody was going up to me.
Just be polite and say no, this is a great wedding.
And I've been saying they don't have something anymore. I'm done,
I'm sorry, I'm busy. I'm gonna give away a Matchbucks
card my wedding. We got a special delivery. By the

(13:19):
way into the fifteen minute Morning Show, what's that? Um, well,
we got a letter. I was listening to the fifteen
Minute Morning Show podcast. I heard some of you had
your wipes stolen, so I thought i'd help you all out.
So I'll be the first guy to give you, guys
free light soul wipes. Better lock these up? And that

(13:39):
would be these lightsoul wipes? How many? I don't know
who gets them though, the ones who got them stolen
from them. Technically the person heard it on the fifteen
minute Morning Show podcast. That's this podcast. So this is
it's like community wipes. You're gonna reward the people that
stole wipes. I'm just saying, I just feel like, wherever

(14:02):
they are, those people should get them. So you and
Scotty and Nate have been coming in and doing what
you're doing every day and risking your health. So if
they come to the station, you get them. Brody doesn't
agree with it. Oh sorry, well they still have. My
wife is rattling in. He probably needs all of those.
Yeah yeah right now, that will burn. That burns, that burns.

(14:28):
How do you know that they both know it burns? It?
You know? I tried that. I've done that before. It
wasn't on purpose. I have regular wipes by my toilet
before I got the tushy, and then I had lights
all wipes in there too. I just wasn't paying attention
and whoop it. Let me know, long wipe. All right.
Well that said, I think we're out of time. So

(14:50):
this was quite the intellectually stimulating conversation boys and girls had.
My favorite part was Nate walking like a penguin. Just
now which nobody he is. He is, poop dripping out
of his ba hole. Disgusting. That's how scary runs by

(15:10):
guys by the fifteen minute Morning Show