Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
phone show? You guys ever have something in each hand
(00:24):
and then you meant them away and then instead you
throw away the thing that you didn't want to throw away.
What happened? I want to phone in a New York
City trash can. Every morning, on the way into work,
I drink one of these protein shakes. They're ConA Cola.
I don't know what they're Scotty might know, but they're excellent.
And I was holding the empty bottle and then I
(00:46):
had my phone and then as I'm walking by the
trash can? So how difficult was it to fish it out?
It wasn't bad. It was you got lucky, You got lucky. Yeah,
it was Yeah. There was like cardboard box and it
kind of slid next to that blood on the box though, Scotty,
(01:06):
please really wasn't Who was blood was it? Wait? Did
you do this? Blood type? Was it? What blood type?
Was it? Positive? Nate? Did you do this slow look
when you looked at your shaking you go, no, I
didn't even do the slow look. I walked about, you know,
fifteen feet, and I'm like, why the fund do I
(01:26):
still have this in my hand? I'm like, God, damn it,
I threw my phone away. But I don't know if
it's a like do you guys do that. I'm convinced
it's from my stroke. No, so many times I've thrown
my fucking keys away and I'm holding a trash bag.
I'm like, what am I doing here? I put the
wrong thing down? Like I've gone outside to get a
screw driver to do something and then get sidetracked, laid
(01:49):
down and go back in to use the screw driver
that I went to go get and I can't find it,
and it's back where I went to go get it.
But you find your phone in the refrigerator. I found
my phone in the refrigerator. I couldn't find it, couldn't
calling people here. He is this a phenomenon or something like?
Is this a mental thing? It's called getting older. And look,
(02:13):
we're all sometimes under stress and we become absent minded.
I don't think that's that's unusual at all. No. I
don't think so either, as long as you catch it
right away. Like two nights ago, I had something from
dinner and a fork and I was going back in
the kitchen and I walked over to the garbage pie
and threw the fork forcefully in the garbage and went
to wash the garbage in my hand, but I immediately
went back and got the fork. It's when you take
(02:35):
three days to remember, then you're out of the I
do that with the refrigerator, like the retor like something
in my hand, like a mug or something, and I
mean to go put in the think and I put
it in the refrigerator. And then later on when I
come back to the refrigerator, I go, how the hell
did that get in there? I put it there? Which
the last time you guys cleaned out your refrigerator, do
you do it? Do you do it a lot? To
(02:55):
stay on top of it? A bad, bad state, and
you know, and I forgot to there's I don't like
wasting food at all, but if something is too old,
you can't be eating. There's really nothing you can do
about it. But I've got some shrimp in there, how long? Well,
I forgot to throw them out and they've been there
(03:16):
too long. So did you ever think of just cooking
it when you see it's getting to that point like
I'm just gonna cook it? And then this way it
extends the life for a few days. I'm sorry, did
you say something yeah, yeah, no, I'm saying seasoning getting old,
Like okay. My point is this, um, no, no, no no, no,
(03:36):
I have done that. I've done that with like sausage,
just like you better cook this even though you're not
gonna use it, and then you cook it and you're like,
what do I do it with it? Now? Um? But
the shrimp, I don't want to throw it in the
trash because it stinks, so you keep it in the
refrigerator until the last minute, so it stays refrigerator, it
doesn't smell, is bad. Plus the bears don't get into it, right,
So now I've got to shrimp in there. That's I
(03:57):
think it's I think that they've they've come back to life.
I heard something scratching to get out, crawling away. My
point is this, It's like playing Jenga with my refrigerator.
If you pull one thing up, the whole just keeps falling.
For am I the only one like the door is
like that, you know, the door with all the condiments
goes in there and it fucking stays there. Heather was
(04:20):
we needed um mayonnaise, sorry, Danielle, and she was looking
at that she goes, do you know what the last
time we use this mayonnaise was? I don't know. We
don't hartually ever use mayonnaise. The expiration date was seven
don't even tell me mayonnaise goes bad. Two days we're
still We're still using mayo from I used it this morning.
(04:41):
That mayonnaise is and it's vintage, vintage Mayo. I know
it sounds like a fine wine. My dad does not
believe in expiration dates. When I go to their house,
I check everything if we're eating, and I'm like, Dad,
this ship expired in that's a marketing ploy. They just
want to you more. Throw it away brown. I think
(05:06):
there is something to that, because I've always had the
rule of if it says best, if used by, I'm like, well,
it's just not as good anymore. But if it definitely
says used by right, then I do the same thing.
I have a salmon question, Yeah, salmon question. So on
the thirteenth of this month, I bought a piece of
salmon that said sell until the fifteen right sell byte.
(05:31):
So if you sell by the fifteenth, you'd think you
could cook it on the sixteenth, right right right. So
on the sixteenth it reaked like garbage was horrible. Oh,
don't worry, scott, I got my back, don't. Yeah, but
you'd think it should get it when when it comes
to things like salmon, you shouldn't even rely on dates.
It should be the way it smells. If it's if
(05:52):
it feels slimy, you should go by that. You know,
when you have cold cuts and your refrigerator and you
open up the turkey and it's feel as slyery, that's
the worst. How does it I don't know. How does
it gets bacteria or something? It's sweating? Speaking of, did
(06:14):
you read it? It's in these It's in the news
again today. The reasons we should be cleaning out our
belly buttons. Oh yeah, very important, you just read the Scottie.
But I always clean out my belly, but no one
listens to me. I do too, but I love that.
Every once in a while, for some reason there's a
story about it. I was like, don't we just know
what prompted it? What are you cleaning with this que tip?
(06:35):
Twilet wet qute tip and twilet or right when you
get out of the shower, soapy use your soapy finger.
Didn't that work? Because stuff comes out on. You put
a cute tip in and you twilet, not so hard
that you hit your brain, but you just twirl it.
Not that is your brain and connected to your brain somehow.
If you push too hard in your belly button, you
feel it in your brain. No, you just stop it
(06:56):
really okay, But anyway, we're trying out. I never questioned him.
Listen tonight, when you get out of the shower and
your belly button is moist, take a cute and twirl
it in there, and you'll see all the chunks that
come out. Checking in with Gandhi, did you feel it
in your brain? I didn't feel it in my brain.
I just tried to push really hard, and I have nails.
(07:17):
I didn't feel it in my brains. Chunks in their
belly afterwards. From the fabric that you wear, it gets
in your belly button. It's lint. But I'm gonna check.
I'm gonna check. He used to send photos because we
didn't believe how chunky his belly button could get. Were
all that disgusting. He would send pictures of what was
coming out of his belly button. I'm glad you don't
(07:37):
do that anymore, so, Nate tells us. He found this
interesting fact out the belly button is so dirty, scientists
are finding new unknown bacteria. One person actually had Victorium,
previously found only on Japanese soil, where he had never been.
So how did that get over here? Maybe from clothing
was made in Asia and some fruit there I've got.
(08:00):
I clicked on the actual article. It says one thousand,
four hundred and fifty eight bacteria species new to science
found in our belly buttons, not in mine. Just use
water or do you like use alcohol? Or well if
it's try If it's dry, you can use something else.
But I'm telling you fresh out the shower is the
(08:21):
perfect time to do it, when it's wet. I used
to do it with when the kids were babies, and
take a little alcohol. They tell you to like swab
in the little nooks and crannies in the belly button.
But what if you have an audie, then you're good,
no problems, Just go around it. You know. The other
spot I heard that we neglect a lot, which I
guess is kind of true, is behind your ears. Yes,
(08:43):
there was a comedian who said you need to when
you meet a new person, if you're like trying to
date them, you should swipe behind their ear and smell it,
because that'll tell you. I'll tell you what kind of
person they are. I'll tell you why I'm always cleaning
behind my ears. Does anyone want to guess I have
a reason for it? Me? Yeah, when I had my
uh my facelift, they brought it back, so now I
(09:04):
get whiskers behind my ears. So I'm always shaving and
always clean. Don't get a facelift. Life is so much fun.
The more used to be here is now here? Is it?
Speaking of gross? The text messages came in. Did you
know blood can be substituted for eggs in baking? Is
(09:25):
this true? I don't want to know that. Can we
look that up up? Substituted for what? A? Yeah? Well
are you feeding people your blood? That my blood? Let's
think it through. Now. Whatever the egg does when it's cooked,
and there's something, there's a scientific thing it happens. It
(09:47):
changes the molecular structure. They're saying, blood does the same thing,
and it includes some property. I mean, an egg is
an unfertilized embryo. It's still body material, right, so blood
is body material that it makes sense. I guess I
don't know, you know what you know, what if you
put an egg and make a batter, it helps it,
you know, become dry and a cake so that you
(10:09):
can use blood instead. What does it say? They're gandhi.
It says grams of blood will do the work of
one medium egg, while forty three grams of blood can
stand in for an egg white. So yeah, you can't
do that, but that sounds disgusting. How much blood? When?
What is that? Grams and the gallons? Please? Hold on,
(10:32):
let's see remember eating in a hospital hospital cafeteria and
it's Red Cross getting blood because they want to make cake.
What's going on? They're making omelets? Yeah, don't try this
at home to let's just where would you try it?
What's it say? I'm trying to find this little conversion.
When I was a kid, they all said, you know,
(10:53):
our country is going to join the rest of the world.
We're gonna go to the metric system. We did. We
did bottles of soda. We did. That's about it. And
there are still signs near my house to tell you
how many kilometers in nearest hospital is because they and
fat and never changed back. What do you have sixty
grams of blood is only point oh one six nine gallons,
(11:16):
but that's enough for me to not want the blood
in my eggs, cake or whatever it is. Someone. I'm
glad we could have this conversation. Yeah, me too. Who
is that? Who's haunted houses? Try to sit still? But
then I have to move, and then when I do,
it makes sounds like this. Mine squeaks a lot too.
(11:41):
I don't know if you guys can hear it or not,
but you can see what's on my floor right now.
What is it? I think it's Uncle Johnny's shorts. Dogs
have been the dogs. Dogs love dirty underwear. They love it.
By the way, Elvis, So yesterday I called Uncle Johnny
to get him to sneeze, and I was under the
(12:03):
assumption I said, hey, what are you doing. He goes, oh,
I'm I'm just waiting for Elvis. We're gonna go get
some lunch. So I assumed he was. He was not
at a restaurant. Then come to learn he's screaming all
this information about sneezing and in a restaurant, which I
didn't know, and he goes, I'm gonna give you out
of this. I go, don't give me, Elvis, don't give
me elvish. So we're at the bar eating at our
(12:27):
friend's restaurant and I have to go. I go outside
to use the phone because I don't want to be
and and there. I don't want to be rude. I
hate when people are on the phone. If I went outside,
I came back in and I heard Johnny in the
middle of a restaurant full of people. Yes, okay, what
can you hear me? Yes? And the entire restaurant people
were like, they still have food in their mouths, but
they weren't showing. They were like, oh my gosh, to
(12:49):
get off the phone. You're screaming. It's Gary, It's Gary, goodbye, goodbye.
So I'm like Johnny, he does this all the time.
He always screams on his phone in public. It drives
me not. I wouldn't have called if you're at a restaurant.
He made it sound like you were outside your house
and taking a phone call. And I was like, oh,
he's outside whatever, but but don't put it on the phone.
(13:10):
Don't put it on the phone. Johnny just sneeze into
your phone. Later, Oh my gosh, do you know do
you know people to do that when they get on
the phone, the volume goes way up. They don't know.
It's almost like they have to yell to them so
they can hear it from where they are. They don't
realize phone lines like that. Why do you have an
(13:30):
emoji in your box? I don't know. It's oh, yes, Garrett,
like he's waving high Garrett. He raised this hand that
went away and you move. Have you ever had your
dog clean out your belly button? He's licked it before? Yeah? No,
(13:53):
did you like it was that peanut but on your belly?
It wasn't bad. I mean he just whatever. You let
your dog lick you. Did you try to get him
a stop on he was doing it? Or did you
let him say how long he would do it? No?
I said please go away? Did you call him daddy?
You know? What? Are we done? I really can't. We're
pretty done. I never know what's going to come out
of your mouth. Scott didn't say the fifteen minute Morning
(14:26):
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