December 8, 2021 • 14 mins
We all have had to worked on holidays, BUT what did we do on the holidays? Also, what scared you on the internet?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Ran Presents fifteen minute morning show. I'm very sad.
(00:36):
I think we all have like half a dozen shows left?
Is that right? Yes? Seven seven shows left? Seven there
for two and a half weeks. Can I ask you?
Why did you say half a dozen? Why couldn't you
just say seven? Yeah? Because I got it? I thought
today was a Thursday and half weeks? Somebody turns scotty?
When are we all for two and a half weeks?
(00:57):
How's the days over here? We're doing the pod next Friday,
and it amounts to two and a half week, seventeen
days total. Tuesday, the fourth is when we come back weeks.
The other places I worked, we always were told do
not we can hear me. We can all hear you.
(01:29):
Just go gandhi. Go at the places I have worked
before here, we were always told never to talk about
when we were going on vacation because people would tune out.
Is that that doesn't apply? It used to apply. I
think now at this point we go on vacation. We
play stuff so that if people don't pay attention to
when we say we go on vacation, they don't know
(01:50):
that we certain times of the years that we go
they know, Christmas, We go on vacations a lot more
honest with our audience than other radio shows and other ears.
And the philosophy used to be. The philosophy used to
be that, hey, don't say you're going on vacation too,
because to the listeners it doesn't sound like you guys
are gone. So I will I will, I will say
this that several years ago we had these like little
(02:13):
in between things that said, now back to the best
of elis Uran in the morning show, now not to
the and they told us to take those out because
we don't want to remind people, Hey, what you're about
to hear is a old material. So we were forced
so we took them out. So now it's just we
present the material as is, if you know, you know,
and if there was there was a time we weren't
(02:34):
supposed to tell the jocks, the DJs who worked in
other parts of the day that we were going on
vacation because they might accidentally say it like oh the
boarding shows some o hey, So we wouldn't tell them
and then they would like send us emails like oh,
I need you to do something like we're not here. Well,
no one told us wort of vacation. That's right, we
did not because we don't trust you. You'll go on
there and say we're on vacation. Why was it such
a big deal? Looking back, I have a question. Can
(02:56):
we find out what Scott wanted? Scotty called Nate's name
like seventeen times and we never found out what he wanted. Gotty,
let's hear it. I don't want to talk anymore now
I want you to talk. No, no, it's okay. Oh,
don't do the scot I missed the moment, that's all.
What was the okay, go back? I want you to
give the punch line without a joke being attached. That
was a punch line or a joke. I was just
(03:17):
gonna say, as I normally do. I'm not off for
two and a half weeks. Fuck you and your vacation
busting into Yeah. I like ald time and a half,
double time, Scott, he's them planning time and a half.
You don't need time and have to work on holidays
because you went you He doesn't. Scotty has a weird deal.
(03:39):
And I have been trying, Scottie, I am trying. I
can't move Mountains. He works on Christmas and he doesn't
get paid. I've been getting screwed for twenty five years.
He gets time and a half, but he also doesn't
get the same vacation that we get because he's in
the union. But that's ridiculous. That was the deal that
was made years ago, and we shouldn't talk about it
any further. So let's move on. I'm sorry, Scotty. We
will fix it when the company's defense. So Scotty's do wish.
(04:00):
So he doesn't mind working Christmas. Right, you're in Jewish.
I love working Christmas Day. I didn't say me. I'm saying, Scotty.
I work Christmas Day every year. That's do. I'll do
that all day every day. It's just the days around Christmas.
I'd like to be on that. That was my question.
You get Do you get time and a half for
Christmas Day? Double double time work Christmas Day? Yeah, we'll
(04:31):
have you do overnights that day. How about that. I
told you I'm leaving for Disney right there. I used
to do overnights on Christmas Eve. I used to us.
I used to work Christmas morning six am to ten am.
I used to do that too. I used to do
six am to ten am. I do the morning show,
and then I would go home, open presents, have dinner
with the family, and then I would come back at
(04:52):
my radio station to do afternoons from three to seven.
My family's just sleep before ten am anyway, So what
the hell can I hold on? Can I tell you
what lame thing? I did? Every year on December twenty six?
So I would always I would always work hold on,
hold on, let me get let me get up. But
I would always work uh the best of morning show
the day after Christmas. So every morning, every okay, you
(05:16):
just scary, you get the thing, He'll drag your story.
At i am every December twenty six, I would go
off the music log and at six am on December
twenty six, I would always play that song from Brick
No it was called brick right, She's by Bren Benfolds
five because he goes six am day after Christmas. So
I always played that at six am on December twenty six.
(05:38):
I didn't care. Even when we were were an alternative anymore.
The bosses found out about it, and so they removed
it from the system because but then after after, after
I got in trouble for playing that. Then I just
had it made into a jingle and I played it
at six am. The You know what Scotty's punishment was
(06:00):
for doing that, He has to wear Christmas every year
from now on. I'll take that. You know, scary working
on Christmas Eve. That would be his one time every
year he would shout out his girlfriend. He would do
a special shout out to his girlfriend Robin. But that
was that was that was he would He would do
it every Christmas. You remember that? Of course. God I
(06:22):
hate when the DJ does the fucking shout out to
their significant other. I remember this guy my first radio station,
Jet one out two, Michael Ray. He would do what
was I doing? Night? No? I was doing mornings and
he was doing overnights. And I remember driving in listening
to him and he's playing some sappy song and then
I hear him I love your Bath over this song,
(06:44):
and I'm like, what the fund is he doing? And
then it turns out I come in up he's like crying,
he's in tears. I'm like, what's going on? He goes like, so,
what are you doing? He goes, I'm trying to get
her back. I'm hoping are you. Did you play a
breakup song? And I'm like, oh, it was it was
like one of those. It was like I will Always
love I can't remember the song. I don't know if
(07:06):
this is like a true story or it's like an
urban legend, but apparently there was a DJ who did
a morning show and he always suspected that his wife
was cheating on him. So one day he went into
work started playing a best up show, and then at
eight o'clock in the morning, he just arrived home. Shut up.
The wife was in bed with another guy. Yeah, see,
(07:29):
I heard it. I heard he recorded his show, so
it sounded like he was there and then he went home.
I heard he was gay and he found his husband
in bed with another I also heard he went to
Cancun on spring break and woke up in a nice tub,
but with with no kids. Yeah, camping, and he ended
up with vasilin on his button. His boss was smiling.
(07:49):
I heard he was at the airport with Igaz there.
I actually worked with a guy who got fired because
he was on the air. It wasn't a holiday, but
he thought he was in a commercial break and shut
his mic off, got into a fight with his baby
Mama started calling her all kinds of names, like a
ratchet ass bitch and all kinds of stuff and on
(08:09):
out over the air. Shut up. But I did work
with him. He got fired for the Yeah got it,
bunny though. Well, when we first started doing all this
stuff from home, I was doing a Saturday Morning from
home and I didn't know you had to shut your
mic off on your Mac and it was it was.
Some listener tweeted me and said, I hear you yelling
at your dog on the air. At least was like
(08:33):
the peanut butter. Keep liking the peanut butter. So like
a peanut butter. If I wouldn't be yelling at him,
I'd be speaking nicely. What was that? What do the
voice the way that guy on the radio, Michael Ray
Sawyer come like the peanut butter Sawyer? Can you rescue
a dog from a person's house? Can we rescue that?
(08:53):
He's never done that? Can't? I can't? I say something?
All right? You guys remember kaza and like Lime and
you would download either music or porn. Can I tell
this story? Are you looking at me? What do you want?
You looking at me? Every once in a while, they
(09:14):
would label porn, something like milf whatever, right, and you're like, oh,
sounds great. You wouldn't have like a thumbnail or anything,
but then you would open the video and it's totally
not something disturbing. I think this is how Two Girls,
One Cup started, because it would be like the most
disturbing shit ever, and then you don't know until you
(09:35):
open the thing, right. And I'm not even going to
say if some of the things I saw on mislabeled porn,
but it has scarred me for like, what is that
one thing you saw online that you have images of
to this day that you have PTSD? Like this is
where you guys, don't did you know? Did you know
(09:56):
the butt can turn inside out? I've seen that. Someone
sent me a picture, you know what. I you know
what I can't let you see. But it wasn't a picture.
When I got my nose done, I when I went
back to the office, my chart was out. So I
read how they did it, and it said that it
(10:18):
pulled back all the skin of my So what you
just described, that's like the butt thing. Gandhi, you seem
rather quiet. I have so many things. I'm trying to
think of things that I don't want other people to
go look up because it would be traumatizing for them. Okay,
(10:39):
so for me, you know how I feel about animals.
Have you ever watched the way they get skin for
anything that is like reptile and I don't want to
if you watch it. They have to get it off
of the animal while it's alive, because once it dies,
the skin changes. It's not as like they are literally
(11:00):
peeling these animals like fucking potails. And anybody wears this stuff,
you are a monster. You know. I sold my panda coat.
I don't have it anymore. And the animals must be screened. Okay,
it's disgusting. And for all the people who are like,
well if you eat me, it's typo critical blah blah blah,
there are I mean, first of all, you're right, it is,
(11:22):
but second of all, they do not kill these things
in the same way. Yeah, it's just foul, so awful.
All right, that's like, don't wear for that. Don't look up.
How to express your dog's anial glands? I think that's
the picture I saw. Yeah, Frog, we went over on Monday,
we went over yesterday. Today. We're a little under but
(11:43):
you know what I think we're I think we can
end it on that. We cannot. You ask, you know,
you didn't have to answer, Gandhi. This is where you
all had. You have a cornucopia of answers and responses
to side out. I have a story that and on
a better not So you said he downloaded porn, but
(12:03):
it was mislabeled. You didn't know what it was. Well,
it was so back in the day. Growing up, we
had a VCR, we had videotapes, and my unbeknownst to me,
my father would have some like in the in the
large collection on the stereo area, sometimes to be porn tapes,
but they were labeled things he liked that I wouldn't so,
like it was one tape it was like, uh, Pearl Hark,
(12:26):
the Attack on Pearl Harbor documentary, par right Necklace. I
saw him put it away once. I'm like, why he
watches that a lot? So I put it in. I
was like, oh my god, it's porn. So I started
watching every movie, like all the VCR tapes that were
labeled with stuff I would never want to watch. It
(12:47):
was always porn. It's like, oh the like like Glenn
Miller Band, Like, I'm like porn away tell me this
story because she she my father, my grandfather had one
of those videos to where he always watch it or
was like a millimeter, you know, never let her watch it.
(13:09):
And one day she and her cousin snuck and all
it was was a belly dancer with her tonel. She
was like, he never wanted me, but he watched it
all the time that I found my dad's super eight
movie porn. One time it wasn't. I took the projector
(13:30):
out and I started watching on the wall with my
friend and it broke in the middle. It's sort of
like like flapping around the thing. I was scared shitless.
I didn't know what to do. I was probably eleven
or twelve, and so I scotch taped it together. I
hoped he would never watch it again. It was called
the Bitch. That's the promo you're going to see on
(13:52):
Instagram exactly. Happy Wednesday everyone. By the fifteen minute Morning
Show
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Ran Presents fifteen minute morning show. I'm very sad.
(00:36):
I think we all have like half a dozen shows left?
Is that right? Yes? Seven seven shows left? Seven there
for two and a half weeks. Can I ask you?
Why did you say half a dozen? Why couldn't you
just say seven? Yeah? Because I got it? I thought
today was a Thursday and half weeks? Somebody turns scotty?
When are we all for two and a half weeks?
(00:57):
How's the days over here? We're doing the pod next Friday,
and it amounts to two and a half week, seventeen
days total. Tuesday, the fourth is when we come back weeks.
The other places I worked, we always were told do
not we can hear me. We can all hear you.
(01:29):
Just go gandhi. Go at the places I have worked
before here, we were always told never to talk about
when we were going on vacation because people would tune out.
Is that that doesn't apply? It used to apply. I
think now at this point we go on vacation. We
play stuff so that if people don't pay attention to
when we say we go on vacation, they don't know
(01:50):
that we certain times of the years that we go
they know, Christmas, We go on vacations a lot more
honest with our audience than other radio shows and other ears.
And the philosophy used to be. The philosophy used to
be that, hey, don't say you're going on vacation too,
because to the listeners it doesn't sound like you guys
are gone. So I will I will, I will say
this that several years ago we had these like little
(02:13):
in between things that said, now back to the best
of elis Uran in the morning show, now not to
the and they told us to take those out because
we don't want to remind people, Hey, what you're about
to hear is a old material. So we were forced
so we took them out. So now it's just we
present the material as is, if you know, you know,
and if there was there was a time we weren't
(02:34):
supposed to tell the jocks, the DJs who worked in
other parts of the day that we were going on
vacation because they might accidentally say it like oh the
boarding shows some o hey, So we wouldn't tell them
and then they would like send us emails like oh,
I need you to do something like we're not here. Well,
no one told us wort of vacation. That's right, we
did not because we don't trust you. You'll go on
there and say we're on vacation. Why was it such
a big deal? Looking back, I have a question. Can
(02:56):
we find out what Scott wanted? Scotty called Nate's name
like seventeen times and we never found out what he wanted. Gotty,
let's hear it. I don't want to talk anymore now
I want you to talk. No, no, it's okay. Oh,
don't do the scot I missed the moment, that's all.
What was the okay, go back? I want you to
give the punch line without a joke being attached. That
was a punch line or a joke. I was just
(03:17):
gonna say, as I normally do. I'm not off for
two and a half weeks. Fuck you and your vacation
busting into Yeah. I like ald time and a half,
double time, Scott, he's them planning time and a half.
You don't need time and have to work on holidays
because you went you He doesn't. Scotty has a weird deal.
(03:39):
And I have been trying, Scottie, I am trying. I
can't move Mountains. He works on Christmas and he doesn't
get paid. I've been getting screwed for twenty five years.
He gets time and a half, but he also doesn't
get the same vacation that we get because he's in
the union. But that's ridiculous. That was the deal that
was made years ago, and we shouldn't talk about it
any further. So let's move on. I'm sorry, Scotty. We
will fix it when the company's defense. So Scotty's do wish.
(04:00):
So he doesn't mind working Christmas. Right, you're in Jewish.
I love working Christmas Day. I didn't say me. I'm saying, Scotty.
I work Christmas Day every year. That's do. I'll do
that all day every day. It's just the days around Christmas.
I'd like to be on that. That was my question.
You get Do you get time and a half for
Christmas Day? Double double time work Christmas Day? Yeah, we'll
(04:31):
have you do overnights that day. How about that. I
told you I'm leaving for Disney right there. I used
to do overnights on Christmas Eve. I used to us.
I used to work Christmas morning six am to ten am.
I used to do that too. I used to do
six am to ten am. I do the morning show,
and then I would go home, open presents, have dinner
with the family, and then I would come back at
(04:52):
my radio station to do afternoons from three to seven.
My family's just sleep before ten am anyway, So what
the hell can I hold on? Can I tell you
what lame thing? I did? Every year on December twenty six?
So I would always I would always work hold on,
hold on, let me get let me get up. But
I would always work uh the best of morning show
the day after Christmas. So every morning, every okay, you
(05:16):
just scary, you get the thing, He'll drag your story.
At i am every December twenty six, I would go
off the music log and at six am on December
twenty six, I would always play that song from Brick
No it was called brick right, She's by Bren Benfolds
five because he goes six am day after Christmas. So
I always played that at six am on December twenty six.
(05:38):
I didn't care. Even when we were were an alternative anymore.
The bosses found out about it, and so they removed
it from the system because but then after after, after
I got in trouble for playing that. Then I just
had it made into a jingle and I played it
at six am. The You know what Scotty's punishment was
(06:00):
for doing that, He has to wear Christmas every year
from now on. I'll take that. You know, scary working
on Christmas Eve. That would be his one time every
year he would shout out his girlfriend. He would do
a special shout out to his girlfriend Robin. But that
was that was that was he would He would do
it every Christmas. You remember that? Of course. God I
(06:22):
hate when the DJ does the fucking shout out to
their significant other. I remember this guy my first radio station,
Jet one out two, Michael Ray. He would do what
was I doing? Night? No? I was doing mornings and
he was doing overnights. And I remember driving in listening
to him and he's playing some sappy song and then
I hear him I love your Bath over this song,
(06:44):
and I'm like, what the fund is he doing? And
then it turns out I come in up he's like crying,
he's in tears. I'm like, what's going on? He goes like, so,
what are you doing? He goes, I'm trying to get
her back. I'm hoping are you. Did you play a
breakup song? And I'm like, oh, it was it was
like one of those. It was like I will Always
love I can't remember the song. I don't know if
(07:06):
this is like a true story or it's like an
urban legend, but apparently there was a DJ who did
a morning show and he always suspected that his wife
was cheating on him. So one day he went into
work started playing a best up show, and then at
eight o'clock in the morning, he just arrived home. Shut up.
The wife was in bed with another guy. Yeah, see,
(07:29):
I heard it. I heard he recorded his show, so
it sounded like he was there and then he went home.
I heard he was gay and he found his husband
in bed with another I also heard he went to
Cancun on spring break and woke up in a nice tub,
but with with no kids. Yeah, camping, and he ended
up with vasilin on his button. His boss was smiling.
(07:49):
I heard he was at the airport with Igaz there.
I actually worked with a guy who got fired because
he was on the air. It wasn't a holiday, but
he thought he was in a commercial break and shut
his mic off, got into a fight with his baby
Mama started calling her all kinds of names, like a
ratchet ass bitch and all kinds of stuff and on
(08:09):
out over the air. Shut up. But I did work
with him. He got fired for the Yeah got it,
bunny though. Well, when we first started doing all this
stuff from home, I was doing a Saturday Morning from
home and I didn't know you had to shut your
mic off on your Mac and it was it was.
Some listener tweeted me and said, I hear you yelling
at your dog on the air. At least was like
(08:33):
the peanut butter. Keep liking the peanut butter. So like
a peanut butter. If I wouldn't be yelling at him,
I'd be speaking nicely. What was that? What do the
voice the way that guy on the radio, Michael Ray
Sawyer come like the peanut butter Sawyer? Can you rescue
a dog from a person's house? Can we rescue that?
(08:53):
He's never done that? Can't? I can't? I say something?
All right? You guys remember kaza and like Lime and
you would download either music or porn. Can I tell
this story? Are you looking at me? What do you want?
You looking at me? Every once in a while, they
(09:14):
would label porn, something like milf whatever, right, and you're like, oh,
sounds great. You wouldn't have like a thumbnail or anything,
but then you would open the video and it's totally
not something disturbing. I think this is how Two Girls,
One Cup started, because it would be like the most
disturbing shit ever, and then you don't know until you
(09:35):
open the thing, right. And I'm not even going to
say if some of the things I saw on mislabeled porn,
but it has scarred me for like, what is that
one thing you saw online that you have images of
to this day that you have PTSD? Like this is
where you guys, don't did you know? Did you know
(09:56):
the butt can turn inside out? I've seen that. Someone
sent me a picture, you know what. I you know
what I can't let you see. But it wasn't a picture.
When I got my nose done, I when I went
back to the office, my chart was out. So I
read how they did it, and it said that it
(10:18):
pulled back all the skin of my So what you
just described, that's like the butt thing. Gandhi, you seem
rather quiet. I have so many things. I'm trying to
think of things that I don't want other people to
go look up because it would be traumatizing for them. Okay,
(10:39):
so for me, you know how I feel about animals.
Have you ever watched the way they get skin for
anything that is like reptile and I don't want to
if you watch it. They have to get it off
of the animal while it's alive, because once it dies,
the skin changes. It's not as like they are literally
(11:00):
peeling these animals like fucking potails. And anybody wears this stuff,
you are a monster. You know. I sold my panda coat.
I don't have it anymore. And the animals must be screened. Okay,
it's disgusting. And for all the people who are like,
well if you eat me, it's typo critical blah blah blah,
there are I mean, first of all, you're right, it is,
(11:22):
but second of all, they do not kill these things
in the same way. Yeah, it's just foul, so awful.
All right, that's like, don't wear for that. Don't look up.
How to express your dog's anial glands? I think that's
the picture I saw. Yeah, Frog, we went over on Monday,
we went over yesterday. Today. We're a little under but
(11:43):
you know what I think we're I think we can
end it on that. We cannot. You ask, you know,
you didn't have to answer, Gandhi. This is where you
all had. You have a cornucopia of answers and responses
to side out. I have a story that and on
a better not So you said he downloaded porn, but
(12:03):
it was mislabeled. You didn't know what it was. Well,
it was so back in the day. Growing up, we
had a VCR, we had videotapes, and my unbeknownst to me,
my father would have some like in the in the
large collection on the stereo area, sometimes to be porn tapes,
but they were labeled things he liked that I wouldn't so,
like it was one tape it was like, uh, Pearl Hark,
(12:26):
the Attack on Pearl Harbor documentary, par right Necklace. I
saw him put it away once. I'm like, why he
watches that a lot? So I put it in. I
was like, oh my god, it's porn. So I started
watching every movie, like all the VCR tapes that were
labeled with stuff I would never want to watch. It
(12:47):
was always porn. It's like, oh the like like Glenn
Miller Band, Like, I'm like porn away tell me this
story because she she my father, my grandfather had one
of those videos to where he always watch it or
was like a millimeter, you know, never let her watch it.
(13:09):
And one day she and her cousin snuck and all
it was was a belly dancer with her tonel. She
was like, he never wanted me, but he watched it
all the time that I found my dad's super eight
movie porn. One time it wasn't. I took the projector
(13:30):
out and I started watching on the wall with my
friend and it broke in the middle. It's sort of
like like flapping around the thing. I was scared shitless.
I didn't know what to do. I was probably eleven
or twelve, and so I scotch taped it together. I
hoped he would never watch it again. It was called
the Bitch. That's the promo you're going to see on
(13:52):
Instagram exactly. Happy Wednesday everyone. By the fifteen minute Morning
Show
Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND News
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