Don't Walk On The Rug

Skeery doesn't want you to touch things, Scotty stepped in something. We also rate our vacations! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
morning show? All right, welcome back everybody. Yea, even though
I saw Gandhi on every single day. Nice to see

(00:24):
you again, Nate. I can I be honest. I had
such a good time with you and Heather though, like
not just blown to smoke up your ass. It was
really fun. You guys are good travel buddies. And here's
the thing, because I think we were good travel buddies
because we knew when to let the other couple just
go do their own thing, which some people are like, oh, hey,
we want to get breakfast in the morning. How's seven thirty?

(00:44):
Like no, like, no, that's the worst. Yeah, relaxed in
the morning. He doesn't want to breakfast. What are we
doing it? But you can speak scary. Oh yeah, no, Sam,
you're on the wrong microphone. I need to I need
you to go sit over here. Okay, okay, we're swapping.
Mike Slap, Mike swap. By the way, this is the

(01:06):
new show on ABC, Mike swamp. We're almost all back here.
Everybody's back except David Brody. Well, there was a rule
about telling me when Elvis was in, and no one
told me, not saying anybody knew just I didn't know
he was in last Thank god. I was in bed
already at seven something, and he texted me to pick
him up, and I'm like, okay. Then I went right

(01:29):
to say, what is that squeaky noise that we're here? Dog?
I'm like, what the hell is sound? I like that sound?
GANDHI may not recognize this, but does anyone else recognize
what this isn't? That's right? I thought I saw a
little yeah frog, I saw a pink thing with a

(01:49):
hole in it. I'm like, alright, i't technically speaking of
pps pocket p um. We were having dinner with somebody
from England on one of our nights and he had
never heard of a pocket pea before, right, Yeah, And
that was fun to explain to him what a pocket

(02:10):
pea is and why Americans seem to need them or
use them, use them. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable and
also hilarious. I was like, we're trash, We're such trash
over here. And then we delved into British terminology. Fannipeck
that like, what was it? Yeah? Like savage nance. Apparently

(02:34):
there's a turbo. Yeah, so a nuance is what would
you call it, he says, it's basically like a raging pedophile. Yea,
it starts as a nuns and then it's a mega
nuts and then a turboe nonce. But it's it's so

(02:56):
funny to hear insults from other countries where they just
take it for granted, like we you like Daniel says jackquad,
but if you were going to go over in england's
called somebody a jackquad to be like, why are you
calling me a jackuad? But it's also like, like, you know,
my husband's British, so he when he first came here,
he was doing taking a test in a class and
he leaned over to the girl next to him and

(03:16):
he asked for a rubber because a racer, and she
kind of looked at him like he had like sixteen heads,
like what the what? Right? Now that the language barrier
there a little different, I think I told you guys
this before. But my parents when they first came here,

(03:36):
they obviously they're from India and they didn't know some
of the slang terms like in the United States, so
they used the word shag to mean masturbate at that
time in India, and when they came here in the seventies,
there was shag carpeting everywhere and they were like, this place,
it's disgusting. Is the worst purpose? Specifically, first shag in

(03:59):
your good job. Wait a minute, they take their shoes
off in the house, so that's double the gross if
they were it would be that's right on the jiz carpet. Yea.
By the way, the worst type of carpet to do
that one? Is there any carpet that is good? I

(04:23):
would think something that's water repellent or some sort of
like purpose like an astro maybe like a berber. We
don't do it how you talk to scary everybody's doing
in hotel rooms and every s It's so just like
every time I check into a hotel, like even this weekend,
even though I love the hotel we always stay, and
I was like, yeah, I'm not going to touch those curtains,

(04:46):
to touch them any where? Did you get this from nobody?
I mean, who's doing that on the people? People? Like
they bend all over, especially like places like Las Vegas
and places with amazing views. They put their hands on
the glass. They do it doggy style, and then they
wipe up after themselves because the curtain is the closest thing.
Let me tell you that we went to a baseball

(05:07):
tournament recently and we stayed in a nasty ass hotel okay,
and there was a hole in the curtain, and I'm
telling you now, it looked like that hole could have
been made by something. Is that? Is that where the
term curtains came up from? Like when something you know,
it's curtains for you, they're just gonna throw jiz curtains
over you? Really finished? Anytime you go into a hotel

(05:32):
room and you go look at the bed, if it's
dressed extra well with permanent things that don't look like
they get washed, pillows and those throw those over the duvet,
over the du that you know, I'm talking about the
ones that there for decorations loaded because they never watched those.
Do you ever see them walk out and they don't

(05:53):
watch those? You check out, they changed the sheets and
pillow cases, and that's it. There's the thing. You're very
adamant about this, and you're so adamant about it that
I'm convinced that you are the one that is doing it.
I mean, honest question, honest question. Have you ever finished
on a curtain or a bedread everything, question everyone. I

(06:18):
just think about what slubs other people are, and how
how careless and rude. That seems super careful, Like I
feel like Willie would have to have to go out
of his way to be like, no, no, let me
use the curtain. No. But like you're talking about out
the European sham pillows, those giant things, and they're all like,
you know what I'm talking I know what you're talking about.
That thing and I put out on the shelf in

(06:38):
the closet. Allow me to aim to the curtains here.
It's always an accident. It's just an accident. Sometimes it happens.
Never do that on perfect Yeah, although when I saw
Sam's pictures from her cruise, she had these four splotches
all over her abdomen. It. I'm just saying that that's
the kind of there from, like, let's try and recover

(07:06):
this subject, to change the subject something, please. I'm still
trying to figure out what happened overnight in my room
because I got up at some point last night to
go to the bathroom and I don't remember it happening,
but I stepped in poop, obviously, and I tracked it
all around and then went back in bed, and I

(07:28):
had no idea that this was going on. And I
woke up this morning and there was a flat ball
on the floor. I'm like, what is that? And I
poked it with my finger in the dark, and I
was like, And it was a flat ball of poop
on the floor that I had stepped on. I don't
know whether it came off the door dog or if
I did it overnight. I don't know. I we had

(07:50):
a lot of Russia shin of food last night. It
doesn't do the smell different than people come on. I
don't think so, by the smell of what's pooh? But
yet jeersing on the bread, the bedspread, comforter and the
curtains is perfectly normal talk. I also like that Scotty

(08:10):
found an unidentified clump of nasty and decided to poke
it with his finger. No, that's why you take a
stick or something anything and you try well, here's a
bigger question, like pet owners in the room, and he's
this a common thing? Like you wake up and there's
a turred on the floor, Yes, if it missed the
box in my house, make an observation. Yes, Scotty just

(08:31):
changed the subject and talk about how he stepped and ship,
and he actually did make the conversation better than whiskey
was going. Scotty, you had to be like super tired
because normally that's like that would gross you, you would screech,
not even you know. I didn't even know what happened.
I had no idea. I stepped in it, tracked it,
brought it back into the bed, ruined the bedspread with jeers,

(08:52):
but with shop down. By the way, if you're watching this,
so Andrew just walked into Scottie's screen as he's describing
what was going on. And Andrew had no idea. Probably
was describing, how do you feel about all this? He's
eating a cookie. Was so confused. I heard whoop. I
don't know. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.

(09:14):
He stepped in it and smeared it all over his bed.
As this reason, did you wait your wife Amy up?
Or did you wait? I just I texted her this morning.
I said, hey, I'm not sure if you saw, but
there was some poop on the floor. I cleaned it up,
but maybe checked the bed and see if I because
it was there was dried ship on the bottom of
my foot. Of my heel. This morning, I had to
go in the shower. I no idea what was going on.

(09:37):
I don't want my guest. It was just hanging off
a sawyer and he brought it into the bedroom. That's
all I can do. He has no idea speaking of
all of this, you know what else I realized on
vacation is we are not people who can have normal
conversations with other people. Every time we entered into a
conversation with anyone, really there were a lot of like,

(09:59):
you guys talk about this work? Does that work? What happened?
I'm like, oh, yeah, we can't be trusted anywhere? Can
we know where? Yeah? The conversation, I mean we you know,
we talk about some things, even this conversation, but about
stepping on a dog turn. Like if if you were
to introduce that into any other workplace, I think everybody
would be mortified, Like are you serious? You're talking about

(10:21):
that at work? Yeah? Are significant others though, they're like
I can't with these twos. They just you can't have
a conversation with them. They're disgusting. Expecting appropriate people were
like are we yeah? Get the warning if we go
hang around people who are not like part of our group.
At Leasta will always remind me, can you remember these
are normal people and they don't have conversations like your

(10:42):
work people. Can please keep it like wait, Froggy will
laugh at something and then at Lisa won't laugh at it,
so he'll go, well, Danielle would laugh at it, and
she'll go, well, I mean, really, what am I really?
She's part of your show, you exactly? Then you get
her to laugh. All right, everybody, So rank, let's rate

(11:05):
your vacations one to tend. Danielle go, okay, so I'm
gonna tell you why. I'm going to give mine a six.
And here's why. The vacation part was fantastic, but the
vacation got kind of interrupted. So Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
were fantastic. We were down the shore, you know, part
of the family came blah blah blah. Then the hurricane

(11:28):
hit and my husband lost his car in the hurricane.
It got flooded and it's gone, so I mean, it
didn't float away, but it could have. I mean, so
it's totally done. It's total um. And my cat Fred
has been having some issues and he's been back and
forth to the vet. So I came home for a
day to take care of that, and then I left
again for the rest of my trip. So I went

(11:49):
back down the shore three more hours in the car.
Um So it was the vacation part was fantastic, but
the in between part not so fantastic. Right, So I'm glady,
is okay, that's terrifying, Thank gosh. My husband's okay. Yeah,
new car. I'm looking at that. It's a lot of
new car. We's got to spend money on that new year.

(12:10):
Find the silver lining. Everybody is safe and that's the
most important. Yeah, he didn't get hurt, that's for sure.
That's terrifying. Good, Okay, brody, vacation, I get to go second.
This way, everybody else looks better. That's good. I give
it a five. It was going fine until the storm,
and granted, I know people had it much worse. Daniel
lost the car, but my neighbors, most of my neighbor's

(12:33):
backyard dirt washed into my pool and overflowed the whole backyard,
and so I had a mud bath with tree limbs
and leaves and took me three days to clean it out. Now,
are you charging them for the cleanup? No, that's not
how it works. How do you clean it out? Is
there like a special pump for that that takes the
stuff out of the water, Like, how does that work?
I'll give you the short version. So you use a

(12:55):
product called flock or fluculent, not what's on the curtains
in the hotel room sound like. And what it does
is it binds all the dirt together, so it gets
heavy and it drops to the bottom and then you
just vacuum it out. Wow, very cool. You could see
that on my Instagram. I put up pictures of all.
Check it out. Go on it. Okay, Garrett eight point five? Okay,

(13:16):
explain point five. It was great family. I got to
see Froggy and uh I was supposed to see Froggy
earlier in the day. But I was sitting down eating
breakfast and my phone fell out of my pocket and
landed on my sister in lost tile kitchen and it broke.
And I'm supposed to leave for to come back home,
like within like four hours time I had to go

(13:37):
find I ended up going to a bulbs and battery store,
a place you would never think that would fix the phone,
and they're like, oh yeah, we do it in the
back secretly and they fixed my phone. But I needed
it now because like I'm I'm I'm like iron Man
because of my diabetes connected to things. I'm like, I
need this. But I also didn't want Froggy to think
I was like eluding him by like I broke my phone. Huh. Okay,

(14:01):
I think we're running out of time, so quick, one
give the number and one reason why. Okay, so scarre,
you go on nine. Because I got to see places
like Delray Beach. I went out of the country to
Costa Rica and my favorite place, to Jersey Shore, I mean,
and I did a club gig, so I did. I
did a lot of different things, and I didn't sleep
in my bed in my bed one night. Nine bilet

(14:24):
paper gun okay, gandhi, Okay, we all we all know
why because you were with me seven and a half.
The cruise itself was a ten, but while I was away,
my dog got stressed induced colitis and ever leave again,
so that brought it down a bit. Okay, that's gotty

(14:46):
b Nine. We went to Cape cod The only reason
it was a nine is because we did have one
rainy day because of Ida or whatever that storm was called.
But I did a lot of paddle boarding, went to
the movies and saw Dirty Dancing in Greece for the
first time at the drive in. It was a lot
of fun and uh family kids the whole nine years.
Welcome to seven. Congratulations to see him one at a time.
It was a ten thank you Gandhi for such a

(15:07):
fun time, and thank you Norm reaching cruise lane, and
thank you everybody for listening to our first name show Perfect.
It was a nine nationals awesome, thank you. The fifteen
minute Morning Show