NSFW: Body Parts, Easter and Curtains

We cover A LOT over the next 15 minutes. We check out if we have weird body parts. Why does Easter always change? Does Nate get kicked out of Elvis' apartment?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firms Show? All right, what do you want to talk about? Go?
My little ears? You know what you and I have
that in common, straighten Ate little ears, And it's because

(00:26):
of masks, right, yeah, So you know one of the
recommendations from the CDC is to double mask when you're
in places with a lot of people. Blah blah blah
blah blah. I can't put on two masks. In fact,
I can barely put on one sometimes because my little
ears don't allow it to hang on a right ears
smaller than like average. It may not be the size
of ears. It maybe the curvature in the back, whether

(00:49):
it's going to it's gonna be enough to hold that strap.
My strap popped while I was having a conversation with
someone in a store. I was like I was and
I was exposed. Everyone could see my I was like,
oh god. So on the other hand, it's a little
ear thing. I have big ears. I grew up being
called Dumbo and will Smith because of my big my
big years. So with with the mask, my ears literally

(01:11):
I look like a cartoon when when it's popping off. So, Nate,
you have small ears. I I overcompensate with my big ears.
So it also could be your hair is growing poofy
over your ears, so that might be interacting with the strap.
It could be that you guys are both more evolved
than the rest of us, because I read that ear
lobes in your outer ear are going to disappear over
time because humans don't really need them anymore like we

(01:33):
used to. It was like one of fifteen body parts
that are going to go away soon. Well, Nate and
I could have told you we are more evolved than
all of you. I should have guessed, well, what's on?
What else is going to go away? For not being
what happened your tailbone? I'm so old. I remember having
a tail and I evolved and it disappeared. Now it's
just a COXYX. But you're right they say that the

(01:56):
coxx is going to go away too because we don't
even need that anymore. Um, the NIX was on it.
I don't remember the rest. I'll have to go on
these things if we really don't need them, well, because
we don't need them anymore. What's that will used to eat?
Rocks and grass and things that you needed in appendix? Uh?
You know and you're some of your only way to
break down whatever wouldn't being a gold ladder. You know

(02:20):
what I'm saying. I'm talking about hard things to digest.
I used rocks to over exaggerate the point. We used
to things that needed more breakdown that we don't need anymore.
And the tailbone, we didn't use it anymore. So the
tail started leaving. It became the cock six, and now
the cock six is leaving by well, your tiny ears?
How do you even hear what I said? Should? I

(02:42):
heard you? Clearly? I heard? All right, dumb bot, A
little test for everybody. Okay, So on money holding up?
Is that? Is that my wooden bottle opener? Put that down?
You live in my house, you play with my penis
bottle opener. I feel like you're trying to become me. Yeah?

(03:02):
Is that movie that talented Mr Ripley where he assume
the other guy's identity? Um? Okay, So hold your thumb
up like this you want us? I want to know
why first? Okay, So this is those genetic traits that
you may or may not have. So I have a
hitchhikers thumb? Do you guys have a hitchhiker stump? Oh?
My god, Elvis looked like you you can't see just

(03:25):
why I don't want to do the fucking things? Can
you start making fun of Look? Gandhi's got one. I
don't match. Froggy doesn't okay, doesn't really happen. Don't go hitchhiking, Froggy. Okay?
Can you can you guys roll your tongue? No? I
can't know? M h oh stary? Can I can't? Really? Oh,

(03:45):
Froggy can't. Can't do it? Can you fold it into
a ribbon though? Where it comes like a squiggly clam
fold their tongue like like almost like waves? So it's like, oh, yeah, yeah,
I've seen that. That's scary. That made you break yourself
up and down? Did I break my something? No? So
your thumb was always like that growing up like that? Yeah?

(04:07):
Thank god? I feel like you could be like that
lady pops your eyeballs out of her head? Can you
touch your thumb? Can I touch my thumb to my wrist? No?
Can you do this? Wait? Hold on ready? That's from
zoom the old TV show. It is from Zoom Box

(04:29):
the Mess. How about this without help? No? I need
help for that? Help? Okay? Anybody who's listening to this
is going to be like, what in the hell are
right now? Can you watch? You should watch the podcast?
Are your lobes attached? Mine are unattached? Are yours attached

(04:51):
to what your unattached are attached? You mean all the
way down to the bottom? Yeah, like minor unattached. Yeah,
I have a little bit of a gift there, you know,
a little bit little cleveland, little a little ear hang
your tongue, what Daniel? You know when you can tie
the cherry stem in your mouth? I can cheat it

(05:13):
and that's bullshit, Like you know, I have a friend
who can do it. I tried it and I choked.
Sometimes it takes longer than others, but yeah, it can
be done. Anybody who hasn't who has an Indian versus Audie? Here,
I have a Volvo do Audi belly button stink? Wouldn't

(05:37):
be other way around, Like they're not they're Innis do
So I'm just worried wondering if Audi's do too. I
would think they because you know still has around the rim.
Yeah you have to clean it with alcohol. You know,
we're having you like a nice little innocent conversation and
all of a sudden, here comes Scotty with smells from
the body. Scotty ask Scotty to clean his belly. But

(05:58):
do you have any cute tips in there? I don't
out of them in here. You have to die after
a shower, Yeah, you clean with it, But you clean
your belly button with que tips? Yeah? Probably maybe once
a month after a shower. I'll get in there and
I'll twirl it, and you really clean it. You would
be surprised. But it's not just me. You'd be surprised.
What's in your belly button? You should clean it out,
but don't push too hard because you'll just feel it

(06:20):
in your brain. What right? Yeah, he used to send
me pictures. I got a couple of pictures of his
nasty soiled que tip from his belly button in your brain?
What you talk about the brain thing? Well, if you
if you push too hard in your belly button hole,
it sends shivers up your spine into your brain. Trying

(06:41):
right now? Yeah, well, you need a cute tip. Plus
you should smell it after t it's your body after
you use it. No, but I look at it. You're done.
You have to We used to talk to coasterboy Josh
about the haste of earwax. Remember that that's gross it.

(07:04):
You shouldn't eat bodily thing. You can smell them, you
shouldn't eat them. Really, when do you draw the line there?
Scotty smelling? Okay, that opinion varies. So we just came
out of my ear gross Scott? What is that? What

(07:25):
is that? I don't know. I put my name on
the dug something out smell it. Oh man, stop this,
it's fine. I gotta go vomit. Yeah, seriously, how much
time do we have, Froggy? Yesterday we went over, but
we didn't go this far over. We still have about
the six minutes left. Oh, dear God, six minutes of this.
I can't handle it. You. I have my email, I

(07:47):
have my leave leave meeting button punched up. I'm about
to hit it. I might do an early departure from
this disgusting me. I had a random question and I
thought Danielle was the only one to probably figure it out.
So on Christmas? Christmas is always decembery? How come Easter
varies all the time? Like Jesus didn't like die? It

(08:08):
has to be on a Sunday, right, But it's the
day it's supposed to be like the day he rose, right,
Danielle Easter, I don't think that. I don't think they
know the exact day. But but then why does it vary?
But Christmas? Christmas is always on the twenty five. Easter
is like on this once a birthday and once a Sunday.
But when it happened on a specific day, why don't

(08:31):
you celebrate on that day. I don't even think Jesus
was born on decemb don't don't. That's not I think.
I think they had a coincide with different pagan celebrations
to make things easier for everybody back in the day.
What about Thanksgiving, that's the same thing. It moves around.
It's always whatever, the fourth Thursday of November exactly. But

(08:52):
those were proclaimed by the government, right, this is the
day that will be a government holiday? Is the Easter thing?
Because he i on a Friday, and he rose on
a Sunday, and you guys have good Friday. So I
think they kept the days because the days were important
as opposed to and by the way, if I correct me,
if I'm wrong, but it wasn't Jesus born a completely

(09:14):
different time a year and they moved it to December. Yeah, yeah,
I mean, yeah again, I'm just a Jew, but that's
what I heard. I'm learning more from the Jew. The
Jew is very learned. The most important and the most
holy week in the Catholic religion, that is correct pass Over.
So yeah, because right, good Friday. So excited about this conversation.

(09:37):
He's eating his Daniel also gave up chocolate. But then
the other day I think she ate some chocolate, right mythday.
I didn't like he already that Sat Patrick's Day fell
on a Friday during Lent, and then everybody said, you're
not gonna hold on, It's okay to eat corned beef

(09:58):
and cabbage on this specific right, And they just totally
through the entire law out the window. So Elvis, don't
try to shame me for Daniel eating chocolate. The man
upstairs are he watched you eat the chocolate. He knew
you were even gonna do it for you. But fault people.
But I know, but you know how people are so
triggered thereafter going, oh my god, a good Catholic, just chocolate,
that's your biggest problem, and you've got a really good

(10:20):
life going. The man downstairs do it too? Used to
tell me that he goes you could cheat on Sundays,
and I was like, what are you talking about? You
just make up the rules as you go. No, No,
because it's forty days. And if you look at the
time between Lent, you know when Lent starts and ends.
If you add the weekends in it's the Sundays, it's
more than forty days. So I think he was right,

(10:41):
but I still never did. The way I see it
is if you if you're gonna break rules along the way,
then why even bother doing it to begin with? I
don't want to hear, well, that's exactly it. I'm not
doing it because I'm done with it. Because people decide
to put in all these other sub rules and study
of loopholes. I just lot of everyone's gonna be talking
about Danielle at Easter Sunday Mass on Sunday, did you

(11:03):
hear Danielle les chocolate? No, Let's say an extra prayer
for Danielle Monaro this week. The story that came out
the fact that more people are not religious now than
that there are that are religious. Is that the entire
world or just United States? I think the United States?
I mean, I know it's been you know. I mean,
they're saying that church attendance is way down, but I'm thinking, well,

(11:25):
there's COVID. Maybe that's why, you know, I don't know
they were they judging it by the number of people
who show up to a church. Well, is also expensive,
you know, and people are tight for calf right now,
you can participate with not a lot of cash. Needs

(11:46):
a donation, Scott, Yeah, but they look at it's very expensive.
God knows if you gave money or not. Right, all right,
Well that said, um, okay, can go back over the
last fifteen minutes. The things we've been talking about, weird
body functions, the things we can do with our body.

(12:07):
Scotty b pulled ear wax out of his ear. We
talked about the taste of earwax, and we started talking
about religion giving it in belly buttons. This has been
the strangest fifteen minute morning show podcast. I must say, yeah,
enjoyed it. Listen, I got something. What do you got, Brodie?
Do you guys get bothered by owning two things that
are supposed to match but then don't. Right? I give

(12:31):
an example. We had a washer and dryer, and I
know not everybody's fortunate enough to have those. But we
had blue washer and dryers we bought like fifteen years ago. Well,
the washing machine broke, so I ordered a new white one.
But the dryer is not broken, and it's blue. So
I have a white and a blue and it's driving
my family crazy. I don't want to buy a drawer
when I don't need one. You don't need one. You're

(12:52):
doing fine. No, no, no no, no, Scottie got upset. Well
that's Yankee colors, Brodie, not this, Harry Winkle, Okay, you know, look, no,
it's it's color washes. If you have them in your
living room where everyone could see, you don't know. You're
saying I should be embarrassed if anybody saw them, though, Elvis, Yes, Well,

(13:15):
I'm just saying it doesn't matter. I mean, even if
you were embarrassing, it wouldn't matter because they're friends. Don't
go into the laundry room and judge you from your
discolored you're judging. I'm not judging. But I'm saying, if
you are worried about them not matching, don't worry about
it because they're not in a place where anyone can see.
Are they in the mud room? I don't have a
mud room. What world you live in, bougie, I have

(13:38):
a mud room. Why do they call it that? You
know what? They're anti bougie. I mean, if you were bougie,
you wouldn't live with mud in your yard room just
to get dirty in I don't know. Come in, go ahead,
go ahead, Elvis, go ahead and go ahead. He's right.
You come in from the mud and take off your mudy.
You have a room that protects the rest of the house,

(13:59):
and it's us for the mud, so you can take
your dirty fucking shoes off and not track the house.
You have a part of the house just to protect
the rest of your house. Yes, what's throwing? No? Well, no,
a door does the same thing? Man, take your doors off?
Do you take your shoes off? Room? You're taking your

(14:21):
shoes off in my apartment all of the dog ship
to walk on the side. You know, I'm calling. I'm
calling the front desk. I'm having you evicted from my
apartment today. N committed to a mud room a dogship
room curtains, Nate, you gotta hear me out. You are

(14:43):
only in the computer until Thursday. After Thursday, they will
not let you in. So just understand that you didn't
say he's going to a hotel this weekend. M wait,
what did you do to the curtains? Oh? I did
what Scary does in hotels. Hey, you relieved yourself on
my curtains. No, I ejaculated on a curtain. Laugh. Well,

(15:07):
I guess we know we're getting elvis first birthday instead
of wine a black light curtain. I never, I never.
I've accused other people of coming on curtains at the hotels.
And that's when they touch curtains anytime I go to
a hotel because they don't clean them. Mate, they don't clean.
Nobody is on the curtains in a hotel. Scary does

(15:28):
the carpet match the drap? It does? Now what does
the guy get up and run across the room? I'm
almost there? Boom Now, no, seriously, it's Heather working out
of my apartment right out. No, I mean serious, I'm
being you know this is my serious face. You are
now the apartment. You think it's funny. You think that's

(15:50):
his new name, homeless man. You think it's can we
call him Drake made? From now on, they're not They're
not curtains, they're surtain somebody. And now for the final spurt,
Get out of my apartment. Hey Elvis, you should replace
those with excretion blinds. We're done stupid. If you're going

(16:20):
to correct someone, make sure you're you're right, And if
you're gonna tell the joke, make sure it's funny. They're
laughing at the stupidity of that. What apartment this Elvis
live in? Twelve d n A should he is a
machine gun of comedy? Did you get the machine guns?
How those drapes? Nate? You're out of my apartment. You

(16:43):
know you're taking advantage of me, and you're the blinds
used to be sheer. Why can't we see through them
any longer? It's carts. You're out. Goodbye, bye, bye, bye bye.
I hate you. The fifteen Minute Morning Show