The Garbage Man and Waxing

Scotty B almost became a garbage man , also Scotty doesn't want to get waxed by another female.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present show? Hello? Why are we here? Hello? Who's starting
the pod? I always wanted to take this trash out.
Nate's learning with somebody on the phone, and and Brody's

(00:25):
got the cartoon character. I have a suggestions on who
should start. So since Elvis has gone right now, Scotty
has had some story that he's wanted to tell us
all morning. And I don't think Elvis wanted to hear it.
You want, I don't think you want to. Why why not?
It's Scotty and it's you know it's going to be gross,
but that's what we love about Scotty. Can you give
us the semi clean version of it? It cleans to balls.

(00:48):
I was just told not to sosa. Okay, idea, that's
all I had. Nope, that's all I had. The whole
thing's balls. Maybe it's a sports story. You never know
st he doesn't even know what sports. A little backstory
on Scotty. He used to write for a newspaper and

(01:10):
he wrote one sports article when he was five years
old about the about the Islanders winning a game, and
that was the only time he wrote anything about sports.
It was for the Penny Saver. That makes sense, of course, right, Okay,
that was it. That's all I had in the right
before the podcast, Elvis is like, oh my gosh, it's

(01:31):
garbage day. And he realized He's like, I gotta go
and put out the garbage. I've done that before. So
on our street, the garbage goes on down our side first,
and then they go down around the corner, and then
they come back up the other side of the street.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard the
garbage truck and I have run out of the house
and put my garbage can in my neighbor's driveway so

(01:51):
that it looks like my neighbor has two garbage cans.
I don't have any, and they dump it, and I
think the garbage guy has figured me out at this
point that now they just give me this off. Okay.
Luckily I'm on this side of the street. Otherwise I'd
be screwed and would never be able to have my
garbage taken out. When I was a kid and I
had a day off from school and it was garbage day,
that was the most exciting day for me. I would
ride my bicycle and I would just follow the garbage

(02:13):
truck for miles. I really watching them and throw garbage
in the truck and then they would take stuff like garbage.
Guys get so much free stuff because they have this
a little basket that's attached to the bottom of the
truck and when they see something they like, they throw
it in there and they take it home. Yeah. I

(02:33):
did run out there the other day with extra bag
and I was like, wait, I've got more, don't leave yet.
I get I get guilty to Danielle, like like what
Froggy said. So I live on a cul de sac,
so I hear the truck go by right to left,
and before it comes around, I've got a chance to
run out and put my pails out if I forgot.

(02:54):
But I always feel like if they're out there the
night before, I'm good. But if I'm running out with
them as they're there, I like, I'm saying, here, take
my ship, you take it. You guys are garbage man.
Take this crap. I don't like giving it to them.
I like them finding it, but I don't want to
give it to them. Yeah, it kind of does. At
that one time I got to throw a bag in
the back. It was so exciting. Oh my god. The

(03:16):
other day I actually applied to be in sanitation and
I was rejected. Did you tell them the story about
your balls? I don't know. Do you tip your garbage
people for the holidays At the holidays you're supposed to. Yeah, see,
I'm never home. So what I I what I'll do
is I'll take there's usually have two garbage cans, and

(03:37):
I'll make sure one of them is empty, and I'll
tape it right on the inside where the where the
cover is. So they throw the cover off and there
you know, there's a card tape there. You would be
a garbage a garbage man. I'd be almost ready to retire.
I get they make really good money, and they do,
but you get schemed out over the weirdest things. I mean,
when you throw a bag in and liquid starts coming

(04:00):
out and you have no idea what that liquid vomit
garbage waters is funny to me that my buddy is
a is a garbage man. And obviously don't forget they
also double as the snowplow people in a lot of
a lot of communities. He loves it when the forecast
calls for like like tons of snow and then it doesn't,
and then he gets paid like triple over time to

(04:21):
work those hours and do absolutely nothing in the truck.
I mean, so it does avage And as you guys said, yes,
it has its benefits. It's perks because you early retirement,
I like crushing the cycle day. You know, you'd be
taking all the bottles and throwing him in that basket
under the truck. Some lady already does that. She rides
a bike around the neighborhood like the wicked witch, and

(04:42):
she and she steals everybody's water bottles and camp and
you hate her for it, right, like those are my bottles? No,
I wouldn't. I don't put those out. I take him
back to the store. It's actually his mom so's Yeah, exactly.
It's the lazy people. The lazy people leave their nickels
in front of their driveway, right, that's the way way
to think of it. Do you get a nickel if
you ring back every water bottle? Absolutely, New York, you injury.
It's not they don't have a New Jersey. But in

(05:04):
New York you pay a nickel on a deposit on
every soda water whatever you do in Jersey too, though,
there's a bottle deposit when you buy stuff, Is it
really yeah? Oh yeah, I know that because they have
Because what happens is in Jersey they have a little
red band around the bottle, so you can't return them.
In New York, people try to do that because you
don't pay the nickel in Jersey, so that people try

(05:25):
to return them in New York. No way. If I
get like a twelve pack of coke, they're definitely charged
me for the bottle deposit, and it's the exact same
coke can that you would have. Huh. I'll show you.
I'll show you when I get my groceries. How much
money do you think over the course of the years
you have made returning cans? Not really because you, like
I said, you paid for it on the front, so
getting your money back nickel back money do you think

(05:46):
you have gotten back over the years from crushing cans?
I don't know how every much I spent on buying them.
I have thousands of dollars, I suppose, Wow, what's the
biggest Like when you've biggest bunch of bottles you've ever
brought back? And try not to be one of those
guys that has big garbage bags on sticks and walking
up to the thing. I just when I have, like
when I have like three or four grocery bags fall,

(06:07):
I bring him back. Okay, I did that yesterday. I
got three dollar dwich the podcast and once again we're
talking about how cheap scotty. We were talking about the garbage. Well,
we wanted to talk about his balls, but he told
us you said he couldn't. Okay, yeah, I think we

(06:27):
want to hear about So I just took my trash out.
But none of the neighbors have their trashot today. I
hope they didn't change the trash day. What about your balls? Well,
if you really want me to get into it, um,
I was talking to my wife about how I only
shaved them in hotels and I really need to get
rid of some that's there and I'm not going to
a hotel anytime soon. So she told me that she

(06:49):
wants me to go to her waxing girl and she
wants me to get my balls waxed. And for a
second I recoiled in the thought of doing that because
of the pain. But then I also said, you know what,
I can't do it because if she's a girl, undoubtedly
I will get excited because she's gonna be touching me
and it's embarrassing, and that's that's I just don't think

(07:09):
that I could go to a female ball waxer. And
I can't even imagine the pain involved in unless you
get turned by pain before there's pain, a girl will
be touching them, So I'm just I don't. It's the
same reason why you know, I don't like massages because
I think I'm going to get aroused, and I also

(07:31):
think I'm gonna fart, so I don't like massages for that.
And I won't fall asleep on airplanes either because I
think I might fart in my sleep. Though you get aroused,
don't you think the person the professional is like, Okay,
I've seen this before. It's no. Yeah, I think they
deal with it all the time. Yeah, but that doesn't matter, Scotty.
Is the fact that a new woman is touching his
balls is arousing? Team? Yes, and it's embarrassing. Even though

(07:53):
my wife would probably be standing there, it's still kind
of weird. Want I get be honest, I'm kind of
sorry asking him. I've got it. I've got a totally
different question. How is it? And when I put a
bag of popcorn popcorn and the microwave. If the ship
still comes out with unpopped colonels, how is it they

(08:15):
can't figure out how the pop every single colonel in
a bag? And if you let it go I mean
two seconds too long, your whole house smells like burn
popcorn and it tastes like shit, or you have half
a bag of unpopped colonels. How is it that we
can't figure that out. They can put a vehicle on
Mars and I can't figure out how to fix this.

(08:36):
It bothers me. Last night I went to fix popcorn
and half the bag was unpopped at least of course,
Lea says, why well, why didn't you pop let it
go longer? I'm because then I would have burned it.
There Where is the happy medium? And how do we
fix it? Somebody has to know the answer to this
an issue too, Alan lynches, who the hell made Alan wrenches? Yeah,

(08:58):
but they're supposed to be simple, but you put it
in your hands, and if you have bigger hands, they
drop and then you put It's supposed to make life easy.
I come away after screwing Allan wrenches, hating life after
after it, like, what the hell's an Allan Wrench, I
love him. Danielle, Yeah, I don't know what it is.
Ever shopped at Ikea? Hello, Yeah, but it's like it's

(09:18):
bent like this, and it's basically just you put it
in like the head of not even like a screw.
I'm stew driver. Remember that the Ikea bit we used
to play. Yes, guy should have said that side taking
the trash, should have go back outside with your trash.
There's got to be something stupid that annoys in life

(09:40):
that you can't figure out. I don't know everything almost everything.
Oh well, look we have to end early because we
have a meeting coming up. Okay, by who's getting during
this which one of us won't be here, someone's going

(10:00):
to be vacant. Ye. So how much time have we
have we covered? We've covered ten We've covered ten minutes. Ah,
that's plenty. We went over yesterday. Yesterday we went over,
so technical will be about even yeah, okay, perfect, okay,
unless someone had something they wanted to add to the
show anyway, not lad nothing, all right, say goodbye. By

(10:27):
the fifteen minute Morning Show