Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Elvis Presents fifteen Minute Morning Show. Yeah, let's go right,
check everyone about the texting total. Al right, here we
(00:24):
go and free one. It is the fifteen minute Morning Show. Hello, everybody,
is the brody and scary a dressed similarly today, you guys? Yeah,
he's got a yeah, scary to change. Hang on, everybody,
(00:45):
I got Elvis calling in. Hey Elvis, you're on speaker phone. Hello.
Maybe I shouldn't be taking this call on speaker phone.
Probably not? Okay, that's right. And with that, well, we
have two things that happened, right, So one we need
to hear something from Scotty that I'm sure is gonna
be strange and traumatize the room. Now, No, not that bad,
(01:08):
right exactly? You know your standards or what it's food related? Okay,
you go first. And then Brodie had a near fatal
text accident. He said something I should go first, because okay,
Elvis joins us. I want to tell the story with
Elvis joining us. We don't know not he's not. He's
(01:29):
go ahead. Now. I feel like I'm gonna let you
down because it's not like I pooped in something story.
I don't think it's cool that people cuisine shame you,
Like when you go to a restaurant that is known
for something and you get something way on the other
side of the spectrum of that, Like last night, I
went out to California Pizza Kitchen with my wife and
(01:49):
two of our friends and I ordered the salmon and
everyone everyone at the table was like, salmon, this is
California Seafood Kitchen. What do you do? But I like
the salmon there, but they gave me hell because I
ordered salmon from the pizza kitchen. Oh my gosh, wait
a minute, Scotty, this just happened to me because we
ordered It's California meets the Kitchen the other night and
(02:11):
I ordered the barbecue chicken salad and then they have
these little chicken wantons things and it's my favorite. And
people are like, how can you not order a pizza.
It's California Pizza Kitchen, you can't order a salad. I'm like,
but they're chicken. The barbecue chicken sALS the best. People
don't get it. That's the only place that I like
the salmon. I don't like salmon from anywhere else except
(02:31):
California Pizza that's all right. I'll do you one better.
When I go to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, I don't eat steak.
I order the Chilean SeaBASS, amazing Chilean SeaBASS there. So
I don't know. I gotta take I gotta take the
other side on this. I wouldn't ever order salmon from
California shrimp parmjan from the diner either, but I do
(02:55):
all the time. That's what you're always in the bathroom
sky horrifically sick from that one time one time. Yes back, yeah,
I still be back. I haven't ordered the shrimp parm
in a while, but I still I get different palms.
What are your other assorted palms? I do really like
(03:15):
the chicken parm of the diner. Two people give me
shipped for it because you're ordering that from a diner.
But didn't you go take a ship caviare from the
hotdog car exactly. See. Here's my theory on stuff like
that is you never order something that is like a
secondary item on a place that is known for something
else because that probably doesn't move that often. So it's
(03:37):
probably six fair point. It's delicious going in. That's all
that matters. I would love for Scotty. You would take
violent diarrhea for a good piece of salmon. I'd love
to see Scotty go into an old school pizzeria where
like the guy's been working there eighty years and go,
excuse me, sir, can I have the salmon and watch
the guy, you know, being shocked because who orders salmon
(03:59):
from that? Yeah, a California pizza kitchen. So I wouldn't.
I told you guys, not that long ago, how I
got food from a delivery app and I got a
piece of cheesecake from a place that doesn't usually sell
the cheesecake. And when it showed up, it had green
mold on it, like actually growing mold. And called them back.
The lady actually said, oh, I'm so sorry, We'll just
(04:19):
throw the whole thing away. We really don't sell a
lot of cheesecake. I was like, mother, full, okay, cheesecake, good,
green mold. You know I love going to diners, right,
but when I go to a diner, I typically get
like a breakfast site. I'm like eggs and bacon on
a bagel with cheese, because don't know that that diner
just got a fresh delivery of eggs in bagels and whatever.
(04:42):
They don't have shrimped, just delivered every day stuff. I'll
get turkey. How about spaghetti? You don't order spaghetti is great?
Oh my gosh, that sus is disgusting. It never tastes like.
I'm a fan of Austrial food, Like I always like
the hot lunch at school, like crap spaghettios, bring it on.
(05:07):
I like all that stuff, like to this day, the
taste of Chef Boyardie sauce. I just love those meat balls.
Those I don't know what that is to you, guys. Listen,
You guys could go eat your Dentty More and your
Libby Libby Libby on the label label labels. But I
(05:28):
want fresh ingredients in my food these days. I don't
I listen. I'll eat fattening stuff. I don't care. I
know that. Really, I'm trying to stand away from the chemicals,
the chemical stuff. I don't know, Scotty, I don't have
the ship you put in your mouth in the morning
has chemicals. I don't feel like you're like Nate when
he says he's not eating sugar and then he has
a piece of cake. Organic as fuck. Nuts eat nuts
(05:55):
and almonds just because right doesn't mean everything's goods right
to watch down the doughnut. Yeah, you want some of this?
Scary it's new. What is it? What's in it? It's ELPs,
I don't know, but it says it contains bioengineered food ingredients.
You want some of this? Let them read the ingredients.
Read some of the it's gonna say partially hydrogenated enriched
(06:16):
wheat flour. Let's say secure. You tell me what's wrong
your doctor. Sup grain sugar bad. I'm sorry, whole grain
corn sugar, corn meal, brown sugar syrup, maple syrup, modified
corn starch. I don't know why they have to modify it.
Modified corn starch, bed corn syrup. The awful, the worst
(06:37):
thing you can put in your body. Pure on Instagram
this weekend of a platter of chicken wings. Dextros. Dextros
is a fucking chemicals. It's a neuro transmitter destructor. And
when dextros got the body like, oh my god, it's
(06:57):
a hormoney. Are you are you aware that your jacky
and hide when it comes to food or is this
like news to you? Do you check everything you eat?
For deck Trose I guarantee that change food change you
unless he's eating it. Seriously, you don't want anything that
(07:21):
ends in os e in your body. You don't need
what did you you need? Ast? You You can have lactose, scary, crocious?
What about my nose, scary? My nose is fine? Anything? Well,
you don't want anything like alcohol than you, guys. I
(07:50):
think this is wonderful that you think this way, but
you don't live this way like you're you're just spewing
out ship for no reason. Wait till January. I am
just so so glad Scary doesn't have a much larger
platform because that was so much fake news that you
were just about in your body. Yeahrmone disruptors, guys, And
(08:15):
you look what you know. Sweet and low sweet equal
the worst all three of us. Sure those are not
good for a starting to think he doesn't want the
rest of us to eat them so he can eat
them all himself. That's my conspiracy theory with Scary and
food explanation guys. And don't get me started on Carrie
Jane and you don't milk stomach. This makes my stomach upset.
(08:38):
If you knew the ship in your food. Every time
you post pictures of you out with all your boys
at the scare. If you knew what was in have
to meet, you're probably eating yea everywhere you think it's good. Well, no,
I won't get into it because I know a lot
of people up their meeting. But at least it's at
an actual thing. It's what to do with it when
(09:00):
you swallow it. Dude, if you want my kid, I
wouldn't know what to do with you. Honestly would take
nutritional advice from here? Do you look this up? Or
did you get this from Dr Fatlow not a doctor?
Say Dr fallas from for forty days and then everything
(09:21):
he teaches you goes out the fucking window. Because everybody
loves a comeback story. It doesn't make it not true.
That is true, scary, that's why it's not true. That's
not It doesn't matter. Listen, whether I take my own
medicine or practice what I preach is irrelevant. What I'm
saying is these are fact. Google. Here's the guy who
(09:45):
like makes you put on the seatbelt in the passenger seat, well,
he like blindfolds himself and steps. People should not have
geratol because it ends. I'll tell you the facts, but
I won't follow the facts, and we should be eating
coconut oil and olive oil and maybe fry in some
staff out flour oil. But other oils are terrible for you.
Do not use canola oil, vegetable oil, corn oil, and
(10:07):
everything you've put in your mouth, like the list whole weekend.
I don't deny that because we're talking to fourth quarters
quarter scary about what first quarter scary believes that there
are two different people here. But if it was that
important to him, then he would make sure that old
school all quarter scari's followed this. I think we're a
(10:30):
fifth quarter scary now scary when did you hit fourth quarters?
Fourth quarter arrived a little early for me and for
people who don't know what we're talking about. He starts
a diet in the beginning of the year every single years.
What having the funk it is he goes forty days,
loses a bunch of weight, and then we slowly watched
(10:51):
him the rest of the year put it back on,
and so each quarter he's a little heavier. So that's
why he's now. He's in fifth quarter right now, and
it's incredible, insane. I just wish then go through I
don't think it's healthy though, For you to do this
once a year and then put it all back on,
I don't think that's a healthy way to go about
Your team was not good to me. Okay, but again,
(11:20):
oh god, dude, I love you, but you I just saw,
did not put it all back scary to make me happy.
You make me laugh a lot, and you know we're kidding.
I know, I'm just looking out for everybody's best interest.
In most of the project of yours, we go out
to eat, and we're in social circles and we're not
in out or we're not in our own space. You
(11:41):
should come see my cabinets in my apartment. You offen
them up. You're like, oh my god, he does live
by his word. The problem is I'm never home. Don't
you door dash? And you seamless like all the time.
Who cares about your covers? You're having the food come
to your house the restaurant. At the restaurant, please only
use coconut. I think I think it comes down to, though,
(12:04):
that we love you and we want you to be healthy.
And so if this is the way you do the
first quarter, why don't you do the rest of them?
Like like you know, it's probably yo yoing is not
the best idea. Okay, Okay, you can just throw out
everything on the counter outside. Hey, I've been fine and
(12:24):
will power because sugar. Okay, I've cut back on my
chocolate milk and take because I read the label and
there's actually a lot of sugar and chocolate milk. I
didn't know that. I thought they just put a chocolate
in there to make it flavored like chocolate. They had
(12:46):
milk to the chocolates, like fifty three. I found out
that I've been drinking about of my daily sugar three
times a day. Welcome to the club. I'll give you
some insolince. Why didn't help him with that? What can
you do for I'm scary? Give him some deck trouts whatever.
(13:10):
Want dark chocolate? You know here, chocolate sucks. It doesn't
taste chocolate. I agree. I hate dark chocolate. Hate that's
like the dark. The more coca chocolate Eminem's or peanut
butter Eminem's, you're going peanut butter. You're never going to
take the dark. My husband has that like cocaw like
(13:31):
chocolate by his desk, almost vomitate so gross. It's like chalk.
It's chocolate. H The chocolate could kill your dog. I
don't want to eat it either. Is the worst it
is fort and he's right, Scott. He was just going
(13:53):
in about how he loves industrial food. He got a
nasty hot dog. Give it to me if my dog
will die from it. I'm not eating and not eating sugar,
but he's eating sugar. The hypocrisy in this room, but
to a degree. M Okay, enough of Brody. Did you
(14:18):
want to say something. I think we're almost out of
time here, but two minutes. Two minutes. I'm gonna need
more than that. I'll go as fast as I can.
So we were talking about weird things on Craigslist and
people buying dirty underwear or whatever. So Nate says, Brody,
do some research, find some weird stuff. We never got
to it. But one of the things I found was
a guy selling his underwear. And I noticed in the
(14:39):
picture it had like dark spots on his blue underwear,
like he had soiled himself. But it wasn't me. It
was obvious what it was. So the description said it
was a hot guy with the ripped abdomen, and it
said selling my used underwear with a special bonus. Come
and find out what it is, so it was clearly
what it was, okay. So so so I copied and
(14:59):
pasted that you r l into our chat room so
you guys could see it. Okay, that's part one of
the story. Part two is I'm one of the people
that helps respond to the text messages that come in. Helps.
So on a day like this, when people are asking
the same exact questions over and over again, how's uncle Johnny,
where's Elvis? How's uncle Johnny wears Elvis? Rather than type
it over and over again, I put them on a
(15:20):
sheet doc file and I copy and paste them so
I don't keep typing the same thing. So about fifteen
minutes for this podcast, somebody said, hey, where's Elvis today?
And I pasted the screenshot of the guy with the
sperm state underwear and sent that. So it made sense
(15:44):
because that's where Elvis could be. So yeah, I crossed
up the text messages that Gus is gonna never text
us again and be like, there's something wrong with this show.
They're discussing all this ling out in court, So sir,
why are you doing? Mr? Brown? Well, how about tomorrow
(16:06):
when Elvis comes in and this guy tex in Elvis
hope you had a great day yesterday. Oh my god,
well Brodie, that was a laugh I needed thank you
for that. I'm here for night. Are we out of time?
I think we're about out of time, out of time.
Oh my god. I'm gonna leave it on that note. Yes,
we'll see you later, come back soon. Everybody. High froof
(16:28):
co fiproof tie everybody. The Fifteen Minute Morning Show