Back With A Touch of Ria

Back from a week off, but did anything change? 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
pressing show. All right, we're back back. That excitement gonna

(00:26):
be so excited. She decided to piece out early. I
think she's walking around her apartment, or at least she
has diarrhea. No, she didn't have diarrhea. Wee s hold on,
how do you know? Because I don't. I don't think
she got back to foreign country. That's that's true. I said,
she just got back from foreign country. Sometimes the water,

(00:47):
if you know local water is you know, takes us,
takes u. Let me start over. Anywhere is what we are,
what we are made of. Okay, when you go somewhere else,
all of a sudden, it throws the body off and
then the plumbing doesn't like it. So we'll ask her,
a gone to your back revenge? You have diarrhea? Yeah? No,
why because you were going to the bathroom. I thought

(01:09):
maybe you did. We started the podcast and they right
away thought you had diarrhea because you weren't here. I said,
she doesn't have diarrhea. Well it's not diarrhea. I do
have to say, Froggy, your diarrhea senses spot on, because
I have a touch of the rhea. This morning. Why,
I don't know. You always have the touch of the
rea every time you always you have more rea problems.

(01:31):
How do you know about his movement? Because everything, there
has been more times that we're at a Yankee game,
he's got the rhea. We're at a Red Bull game,
he's got the rhea. We're over here, he's got it.
He's always got it. Right now, the Yankees have diarrhea.
They're not playing really well. But that's shut upg and
it didn't they have didn't they'd have a period where
he was constantating Nate when he was getting hemorrhoids and

(01:52):
he couldn't go to the bathroom. Mess, I go back
and forth constantly, constant ate, Yeah, use mirror lex, I
have uh so well, when I was in the hospital,
they don't let you leave the hospital until you have
a big stinky pooh. And that was four days without
doing a big stinky pooh. And so yeah, that they

(02:14):
actually have to see it because the nurse says, I
can't take your word for it. I have to because yeah,
he did tell you what I did. So I had
surgery done after ten years ago, I had brain surgery.
But then a week after that, I had to have
reconstructive cold and surgery, and so they had to give
me an epidural, and so they told me to go home.
In order to go home, I had to pee, and

(02:36):
so I go that. This nurse goes into the bathroom
with me, and I told her, I said, if I
had to pee, if I didn't pee for a week
and you stood here next to me, I wouldn't know.
So you have to leave the room and then I'll
be able to go. So she leaves the room and
I can't go. I can't go. I can't go. So
finally I turned the water on really really low and
run water in my hand and I dribble it in

(02:56):
the toilet and I'm like, I'm going. You hear it,
I'm going, And she heard it, and they let me
go home. And you have performance anxiety. I don't know
what it was, but guess what. When I got home,
I went, no problems. I'm like, I just you can't go.
I can't go with somebody watching or somebody knowing that
I have to go. It feels too forced. Oh my gosh.
I don't even like people hearing me pee. It drives

(03:18):
me insane, Like when there's somebody else in the bathroom,
I can't stand it. Or when my boyfriend, Oh my god,
we were just in this hotel room sharing a room,
and I was like, you have to walk away, I
have to pee. He's like, who cares, you can't stand it.
We're about to get a weird story, I'm telling you
right now. Are you talking about diarrhea? Yea were so yesterday.
I was on a twenty mile bike ride I wrote

(03:39):
to the beach with my daughter Cooper yesterday, and when
I was about seven miles in on the way home,
I had such diarrhea that I knew I wasn't gonna
make it. So I had to pull off to a
seven eleven that was off the trail and their bathroom
the toilet was already clawed, so there was already stuff
in the toilet, so I had to go on top
of somebody else's crap in the toilet, and then I just,

(04:03):
you know, I hovered. Just sometimes you have no choice,
You'll just do whatever you have to do. Where do
you leave your daughter? As you went diarrhea? She was
looking at slurpeace. Yeah, that is that a code word
for diarrhea. They had the Coca Cola flavored one speaking
of diarrhea. On our trip, my friend's kid could have

(04:24):
had diarrhea because we went to a restaurant and they
served him an uncooked piece of chicken. So he's eating
this piece of chicken and during this I'm like, he's
like salmonilla right, He's like, this doesn't taste good. This
is I don't know, and he keeps eating it. So
I said, could you show me what it looks like.

(04:45):
He turned it around and it was totally in the middle. Yes.
So we wound up poland Brooklyn Boys, and my son
was like, you need to be brody, you need to
go and get us free dessert, and we need a friend.
I'm oh, my gosh, here we go. So my girlfriend
went over and she said, you know, blah blah blah
blah blah. They said, okay, well, we're going to take

(05:06):
care of your meal and your drinks are on us.
And my girlfriend said, no, you're going to take care
of our entire bill. We're not paying, and we didn't pay.
We actually totally walked away not paying for any of
our meals. He does the kid almost got poisoned. Thank
you Brooklyn By podcast. Thank You Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Diarrhea. Well,

(05:29):
I hate to tell you this, Danielle, but salmonella may
still be on the way because yeah, it's well know,
it can take up to six days to form. So yeah,
don't tell my girlfriend Sala also flexing at the beach
where you were yesterday at the shore? Right, do you

(05:51):
feel okay? So, I mean, he's he's yeah, he's he's fine.
Thank gosh. Okay, everybody rate your vacation on a scale
of one to do. Let's start. I didn't go anywhere,
so I would say a zero. No. I mean, well, well,
my son's in school, so he started school again and

(06:12):
so we were home. But I mean I enjoyed my time.
I would say it was it was middle of the
ROSA five. I didn't have to wake up early. I
enjoyed my time off. Okay, five, Danielle. I'm gonna say
it was an eight. And the only reason it's not
a ten is because even though we were down the
Jersey Shore, we didn't go on the rides, we didn't
go to the water park, we didn't go to the arcades,

(06:34):
the stuff like that we normally do. We limited the
boardwalk because of everything going on with coronavirus. So we
did other things that were amazing. So it wasn't a
full ten. I will give it an eight to hold on,
hold on. Danielle also had such a great time. She
didn't know what fucking day it was. So get this.
So on Saturday morning, I opened up my Instagram and

(06:57):
it's Danielle sitting on the beach and it says Sunday
fund and I'm like, wait a second, today is not Sunday.
And I looked at the calendar on my phone. I'm looking,
I'm like, no, it's Saturday. Side text daniel I'm like, hey,
you know today's Saturday, right, She's like nope, I guess
I'll go take that down. Had no idea, no idea.
So daniel had a great guy and you didn't even

(07:17):
know what day it was. Don't you have to You
have to question yourself when somebody else says something wrong. Yes, yeah,
I thought like, well, maybe I'm the idiot and things
it's Saturday and it really is Sunday. And then I'd
go look at my phone. That's a sign of a
great vacation, Danielle. You lose your shelf right fully immersed.
I think it's a ten. Danielle I think you get
a tend because you don't. Okay, Gandhi, we can skip

(07:40):
because hers was an eleven. Yeah, seriously, I mean what
was it. Uh. If I could go to a million,
it would be a million, but I'll just stick with
a solid ten. It was amazing. I had so much fun.
Gandhi wins just vacation ever, Okay, you're dripping COVID everywhere,
so I guess it's a tale of two. Vacation that
was in the North Fork of Long Island. Uh for

(08:02):
that was a six because it was just a bunch
of you know, like three or four guys hanging out
of the house barbecuing for four days. Uh. And then
uh and eight for the Jersey Shore because I got
a little music in me. There was some DJ. A
DJ was spinning by the pool, and I'm like, all right,
I got some music. That's an eight. So seven average seven? Well,
average seven. It seems it's so funny anytime Scary says, oh, yeah,

(08:23):
there was a DJ spinning, and then I go check
out his Instagram story and it's a DJ spinning. And
then Scary pans over to like one woman who's probably
in her late fifties, dancing alone next to a lounge chair. Yes,
he was great. There's always no I mean, listen, people
want to people want to turn up a little bit.
It's good for your mental wellness. You still can't dance

(08:45):
though you have no rhythm. You have no rhythm. You
do shoulder shake. I do a little bit of that, yes,
But I will say one thing. It is great for
all of us to even dance in place by ourselves.
We don't have to be in a crowded club. We
could do it in our sponsible way. And I think
that I achieved that this weekend. So there you go. Success.

(09:05):
Thank you, Suh Garrett. I'll go I'll go eight and
a half almost nine with you know, getting great news
with my family that my my mom's getting a kidney
and then uh that that half a point missing is
because my dad almost drowned on kayak. But he didn't.
But I can't make it a tend because he still

(09:27):
went through the experience of almost drowning. So I bet
you he knows what life really is all about. Now,
that's what my experience. So he tipped, he tipped over,
and I've never tipped over in a kayak. But apparently
there's like a plug that you take out and it
like gets all the water out, and he couldn't find it,
and he didn't want to lose the kayak because we

(09:47):
were staying in someone's house, so he was holding onto
the kayak. Well, people are trying to save his life,
and he's like, no, I'm good, I'm good. Don't worry
about my sister. Yeah, my sister who was with him. Uh,
she was like, nope, excuse me. A guy on the
boat and paddleboard. He needs help please. Okay, Well I'm
glad he got the help he needed. Thank you, Brody.

(10:09):
I'm gonna take a case of Your vacation was a one.
That's terrible, always the naysayer. Okay, what was your vacation?
Well I wasn't on vacation with you, so it was
a ten. So I no, here we go. You should
have said here we go and make Nate made the combat.
So here's what I'll say. I would have said my

(10:32):
vacation was a five. Then I saw Gandhi's vacation, which
knocked it down to a two. Then I saw Scary's
vacation and realized I'm not gonna die like he is,
so I'll say a six. Yeah, God, you're so petrified.
Maybe we should put you in an iron lung. Brodie, good, God,
really everybody he has been making dripping with COVID jokes.

(10:53):
Everyone here thinks you're gonna die soon. But I'm the
one with the problem. I'm in front of his dancing
calm the hell down, and I needed a mental health break.
So I hung out in the same group of eight
people that I've been hanging out with all summers, the
human hot Spot, the Human hot Spot. We're all good,
We're all fine. Here's the things gotta be okay, guys,

(11:16):
six percent survival rate, We're all right. We don't stop that.
Don't be that guy. I think you do bring up
a good point. Scary, because the more I go out
and do things, the more I see people, and even
of just observing wearing masks in the right, I will
say this social distancing. We went the other day. We
were riding around our neighborhood and we came across some

(11:38):
sports fields and I didn't even know existed, and they
were all these kids, and they were they were playing football,
and they were practicing soccer, and they were all doing
their thing, and the parents were all sitting off to
the sides, and it was I just said, I just
want to stop. I don't want to look weird because
it's not our kid playing here, but I just wanted
to stop and witness normalcy for a minute. I was like,
wait a second. Everybody here is doing things the way

(12:01):
we used to do them, and it was really nice
for a minute to just see things happening again the
way they used to happen. It was great. It was
In fact, I'm looking for a boat to go on next.
If somebody wants to take me on their boat, I
would love to be a part of that action. Please
don't go to my dad this weekend, Alley. Yeah, a

(12:21):
couple of sank. You should have been on those boats.
Where was it. I don't want to be on a
boat that sinks, if anybody wants to put them on
the boat and push them off the side. Listening on
the open ocean, Lisa is trying to talk me into
either joining a boat club or buying a boat, and
I am against both right now. However, if I did
have a boat, scary, I would let you come on

(12:42):
the boat with us, thank you so much. I would
let you come on our boat. I would let you
come on the boat. I'm off of pools and now
I'm looking for a boat anyone. I'm done with pools.
I claimed pools here yesterday. I am ready for a boy.
I just want to be a guest on a boat.
I see so many people on my Instagram, at Snapchat
and TikTok on freaking boats, and I'm like, good god,

(13:04):
where are they? But they were all guests on other
people's boats. So someone knows, somebody know what they say.
Best boat is a friend's boat, not your own boat.
That's right. I need I need a boat and I'm
on a boat, bitch. Is that what you want to
boast with your flippy floppies? Yeah? I think honestly, the
boat is the best place to be because when the

(13:25):
boat's moving, you have all of that air. You're on
an ocean or by yourself. He wants to be on
the boat. Here, you have to stay in the back
of the boat because that way, if you go sitting
in the front of the boat, then your air is
coming by my face on the way. So you have
been getting and you're getting the back of the boat,

(13:47):
and then you can hang out in the back all
you want, I'll social distance with you. I'm okay with
being like the back of the boat as long as
I'm part of the boat to The truth is, I
did see some idiot on a boat over the weekend
and he had a mask on on the oat, and
I'm like, wait a second, your outdoors on a boat
in the middle of the of the intercoastal or the ocean.
You don't need a mask on the boat with other

(14:07):
people or by himself. Yeah, but still you're outside. Yeah,
but it doesn't matter. When we were on the boardwalk
in Wildwood, there was a lot of talk, right, but
he was on a boat with like four other people
in the middle of the ocean. Well, I'd rather see
that though, than the people who walk around with no
mask and look at you're trying to start a fight,

(14:28):
like I know what you're doing, not happening. You wear
that mask on the boat. Listen, you traveled, You went
through airports and t s A. You went, you went
through Jim Jim maka. Was there ever a point where
you felt unsafe? Yes, right, I have my mask on
at the airport. I feel like that was the that

(14:48):
was the place where it was the toughest because you
can't control other people and you can't keep away from
other people as much as you would want to. And
it did make me nervous at the airport, but just
protected you, I hope so find in the next fourteen days. Yes,
was there ever? Was there a point where you were
dancing nose to nose with the DJ while you were
both drunk? Absolutely? Not once were three people ever? Yeah,

(15:14):
the scary was was dancing with the Speedo DJ again,
the shirtless guy. There was no mask Anthony. That was Anthony,
And I'm just they don't if they don't make a
mask mandatory at the airport. So people get food and
then they sit down and you're eating without the mask on,
and then some people are just like, well, I'm not
going to put it back on because if they're eating
without having to wear it, then I'm just not gonna

(15:36):
wear it because they have it off. So it's the
whole people just being stupid about things and not being
considered of your neighbor. And it is a lot harder
to travel. I had to go through a lot of
stuff before we went. We had to prove that we
were home for a certain amount of time. We had
to take COVID tests, you have to get your temperature taken,
you have to apply with the Health Administration, lots of
stuff you don't just get to go. And now I'm
stuck in this lovely apartment for the next two weeks

(15:56):
because I want to make sure that I'm not giving
anybody anything just in case. Okay, well, are we at
a time? I think that's great vacation before we go,
oh mine, Oh god, winter Green Lake. Go check it out.
It was an eleven. I heard coyotes and ludes. It
was amazing. Um well, it was a great first podcast.
Back everybody, We're back. Bye bye. The fifteen Minute Morning

(16:23):
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