How Much Would It Cost

Simple yet creepy game. How much would it cost to..... [do someone, watch other people ect ect.]

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast.
Firm Elvis represents show Zeros giving around here because because
at ten o'clock when the show's over, like just let's

(00:24):
run right into the beginning of the podcast. We don't
care who's here, who's not here. People will just show
up and come to the table. Schedules already three minutes late.
When you are served dinner or breakfast, wasn't it everybody
had to be at the table, no breakfast, And we're
not children. I'm just saying I always thought that they
was when when your parents served you. At least in

(00:46):
my house, it was like Anthony, dinner's ready, and no
one would start eating until everybody got there. It wasn't.
But this is a podcast. Just my sister would show
up like halfway in the middle and just start helping
herself out of the pot. But away. I don't. I
don't like that whole thing where you have to wait
for everybody to get to the table before you can eat.
My wife is like, no, everyone doesn't have their food,

(01:07):
don't touch it. That's rude. Well, that's why he's doing
this podcast. That gets cold. Agreed. Agreed, that's my biggest
pet peep. I'll make I'll slave in a hot kitchen
over a hot stove and oven and make dinner and
time it out perfectly. And then my girlfriends still on
her phone and I'm like, hey, not and I put

(01:28):
down the plate, or she's like on the couch. I'm like, hey,
dinner is ready, okay, And she's on her phone and
she do something else and she gets over there and
she goes, okay, I'm gonna go warm my mouth. Well, no,
it was warm ten minutes ago. You don't even go
warm it up eat a cold. That's bullshit. Sound like
such a housewife from the fifties. I wish I could
give you a hog. I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry. He's

(01:50):
gonna come storming in late for breakfast and complain. Everybody
knows we do this podcast at ten o'clock Eastern time
every day, and I don't have time to waste. In fact,
for three minutes later, I'm leaving three minutes early. Whoa bullshit?
But we have a special guest in here today who
doesn't usually sit in with us as a podcast. I'm

(02:11):
not a special guest. I'm just here when no one
else is here. No, there was a reason particularly gave
you the way up. What are we talking? Conversation? Earlier
today we were talking about how much it would cost
for certain things to happen, I know, and we were like,
Scotty's going to have a lot to say about this. Well,
I have to say what Scotty sent me? Do you? So?

(02:31):
We were talking about my price to have intercourse with
a man? Yes, I can't even believe. And I think
I said five grand, which I'm being realistic, flashed five
thousand dollars. I'd really consider it. And you say that
the price will be different for the top versus the bottom,
higher for the bottom. Absolutely, And I'll be honest, I

(02:51):
don't think I could get it up to beat a
top pretty hard. I thought about that. I thought about
that too. I think, how much have you thought about it, Scott?
I have thought about it a lot. I mean, there's
ways that I could make it happen, but it's going
to be very difficult. Well, here's the thing, like, if
are we allowed to say? I think, if you use
the scientific term, if I was to give fallacio to

(03:14):
a man, it's a podcast. You say what you want.
I don't think I could physically do it. I don't
think I could do it. I could give, but I
couldn't get. Oh no, I couldn't give. I don't I
think I would? Why not? How long ago was it?
But wait? How do you know you could give? Why not?
How could you not get? The mouth is a mouth? No? No, no,

(03:36):
I understand this point. Physically, physically you could open your mouth. Mentally,
you and I could never do that. I couldn't know.
I think I would. There's something, like you said, everyone
has their price Listen, there's a certain amount of activity
that has to go along with that. I can't just
open my mouth. Okay, what a lady. No, I just
don't think I could do it. I don't think I

(03:57):
could do it. But you couldn't do it? Maybe a
could you? Could you do it if there was a
condom on it? Oh no, that doesn't make it better.
It makes it a lot better, make it. You couldn't
do it if there's a million point five dollars in
front of you to do it for a grand. Scotti

(04:19):
texted me and he says, I'll do you for ten grand.
You are too cute to be throwing that stuff out there.
Someone's going to proposition you. Well, they could proposition only one.
I mean, it's it's only certain people. You know you
would do need for a grand how much to do Scary?
To do him? Well? Whatever you're going to do to
night for a grand more? Yeah, I need an offer.

(04:45):
I don't know how is that a thing? All right?
If you had to pick between Scary and Brody, who
would you pick? Don't do this to me. This is
so fun. Already know your answer. I'll take both of them.
Neither one s Okay, here's the twist. What celebrity guy
would you do for free? We've had this conversation. I

(05:05):
know we've had this conversation, but I think it bears
repeating because I don't think Scotty was in here for
that mine. I've got to Chris Pratt and Robert Downey Jr. Oh.
I think that I really got nothing. But back in
the day, I always used to say to my wife,
the guy queer eye, I forget which worson Cressley, No, No,
no one of them, Ted the original. I was gonna

(05:29):
look it up. I always used to say to Amy,
I'm like, oh, you like the spray de lay walk
away guy. The good looking guy wasn't Ted? You think
he's yeah, so that was mine, all right, hang on,
I'm looking it up. Scary and when I was a kid,
Erica Strada. I don't have a ky In Douglas could be.
I don't know this guy. I don't look at names. Yeah, Tom,
maybe I can't. I have no him. He was a

(05:54):
really skinny kid. Yeah, I liked him. Oh scary, Okay,
I'm not getting him in name. I don't have one.
That's such answer. That's the point. God, damn it, you
have one. And like when you're playing the would you
rather gave him? And people like I don't have to pick,
I'd rather die. We'll stop playing the game. It used
to be Tom Welling, but I fell out of love
with him. He was original Superman f y I. My

(06:16):
wife still thinks I could be gaye in that. Can
we have a topic tomorrow on the show. Do you
think your husband might be gay? Still questions what are
her reasons for thinking that you're gay? It's the way
you can Yes, that is the way. He knows the
amount it would take him to do Nate, Yes, all
these things texting Now, I was going to say, I

(06:38):
think that makes you so much more hetero because you're
so comfortable about talking about these things that it's like
you comfortable, do it right? The price was right? Like
I used to date someone who we would have these conversations.
He'd be like, oh no, never, I could never pick anyone.
There's no price whatsoever. And I'd be like, that's not true.
Well that's isn't it. Yeah. Well, always the angriest people,

(06:59):
the angriest people that I would never do that. Those
are always the people that are found in some airport
bathroom tapping some guy ship. Yeah. I was like, let
me see your corn Hub search, buddy, I want to
see what happen. You know I did tell you that.
I okay, you told me this. I don't know if
you want to say that, look like you would just
picking fruit. I'm not gonna say his name. I mean
like when I was when I was a kid and
I had a sleepover, mutually diddled each other's balls and

(07:23):
then do the hand movement. That's just a little They
were the same as you. I don't know, we were kids.
I know I did what was going on? I didn't know,
but I felt so dirty that I didn't do the
sleepover and I walked home. He took how about this
scenario I want. We texted us earlier and said, a

(07:47):
friend asked me in front of my husband if I
would let my husband have sex with someone else for
a million dollars, and I did not hesitate and said absolutely,
my husband could do what he wants. My husband got
so upset and was like, you know you you would
let me? A million dollars is more than enough to
pay for therapy. And so he still gets mad when

(08:10):
I bring it up. What do you think about that scenario?
What movie was that? In decent proposals? I know why
he's mad because he's figured that she would do the same.
She's okay with him sleeping around for a million, meaning
she would sleep around. You know that's not what she
said though. She said she would offer her husband up
to have sex what I'm saying, and and watch it

(08:30):
for a million, right, which means he's thinking she'd be
okay doing that with someone else. Also, this guy's crazy
for getting upset. Why would anyone that I couldn't live
the rest of my life knowing that my wife was
some other guy have to be married? What about happening
to watch with some other woman? Now we're talking about
my wife looks at things differently than I do. I know,
I couldn't live with the thought of it, like in

(08:52):
the movie for a million dollars, because everything, because everything
I bought with that money, I would look and think, Oh,
my wife had sex with the man so I could
drive that camaro. I wouldn't want it. That's how the
entire Kardashian family lives. Yep, that's why I don't want it.
You know what, I watched a movie this this weekend.
It's uh the guy from h Family, Guy McFall, has

(09:17):
a Western with um Sarah Sullivan Sarah Sulliman. It takes
place in the Old West and Sarah Sullivan is a
hooker and she's engaged. She's she's married to a guy
and he comes to see her after she sleeps. She's, Oh,
I just blew a guy. Sorry, I had bad breath.
Like he's fine with the fact that she's making money,
and she says to him, so she comes at you, Oh, honey,

(09:39):
guess what I'm gonna be able to afford that present?
You want it for your birthday? I got an anal
appointment coming in an hour and he's paying extra. He's like, oh,
that's fabulous, Like he was totally cool with his wife
doing whatever because they would counting the money the whole way. Scary.
Could you do that if your wife was was, let's say,
a hooker, your girlfriend was a hooker, but you will
live at large, that'd be fine. I think I'd be

(10:02):
okay with it. Oh my god, it's a tough pill
to swallow. I'm okay with a one time thing hooker. No. No,
but you know you do it once for some extra cash?
Great million dollars? What if she had to tell you
everything she did? Can I? Can I read something? This

(10:23):
is the one of the funniest things I've ever seen online.
So there is this question where somebody said, would you
watch your man or woman bang someone else for ten
million dollars? Yeah? And so this guy responded and it's
one of the funniest things I've ever read, and it
was it's a little filthy, it's a little raw, so

(10:44):
bear with me. So the question is, would you watch
your man or woman bank someone else for ten million dollars?
Leaning Cuisine's response was on Instagram, watch bitch a coacher?
Fuck you mean? Take them strokes like a pro out
of a playbook filled with positions for him. I'd bring
the rubbers, I'd bring water and crackers in every five minutes.

(11:07):
I'd be like, y'all good, just how if you need me?
I was leading cuisine for ten millions dollar. That's the first.
That's the first time you ever went well. The finishes
by saying then as soon as I get my money,
I'm a dumper for being a hole and other bros.
That's just loyal. I'm gonna be crying, but then tears

(11:30):
gonna be hitting those with gatty leathern seas that fastic.
I love that person. So true, though. Do you know
what else I've noticed? Though, Brodie suspiciously didn't chime in
on the celebrity you would do for free? Yeah, I'm
not doing that. The last time, we were just talking
about how shitty it is when people don't play the game.

(11:50):
It's free, but I didn't want to game. I don't
think i'd do it for free. Oh come on, just
for bragging rights absolutely to Sade, Robert Downey, you your wait,
who was yours? J Rodriguez? Oh yeah, that's right. It
has to be celebrity. Tom and Brody, says David writer
Jerry Seinfeld. Oh and that's the end of that is

(12:14):
Jerry Seinfeld said, David, right, Yeah, it's my favorite baseball player.
But I am not like that. I'm saying it for
the game, but I'm not doing it. I don't think
any of us really, I think you would all do it.
He Scotty is ready to do it for like money,
to go do it for guilty. It's a guilt or

(12:39):
guilt guilt. My favorite about Scotty is like you can
ask him anything, any question that you think is going
to be a crazy question, like I just need to
answer to this, and he just answers it. He doesn't
even ask for a backstory. He's just like, oh yeah.
And then also when I was twelve, Scotty, yes, what
would you want more money for some guy to sleep
with your wife or one of your daughters once they
turn eighteen. I'm not even going to answer. I'm not

(13:03):
going to follow whatever. All right, how about them? Dolphins?
Prefer you have three girls? Kill myself? All right? Then
how about that Dolphins? I'm out football. Yeah. That's actually
my favorite line from The Bird Cage, which I don't

(13:24):
think you've ever seen. Haven't seen it. There's this really
uncomfortable moment where they're trying to be straight. He's gay.
This gay couple trying to be straight. And so Robin
Williams tries to break the ice and change the subject
by going, how about those dolphins, And it's just the
funniest thing. Doesn't make saxe? Have you seen planes, trains
and automobiles? Yeah, when they wake up in the bed together.
On this hand, he goes, oh, those football John Candy

(13:51):
was only forty four when he died. He looked a
lot older. Well, he was way, but there was also
like you know, back in the day, people looked old
there when they weren't like teachers that were like thirty,
look like we're getting there now, or people really did
look didn't take care of themselves as well. Well, you
brought up the good point like look at a picture
of look at a college yearbook from the sixties or

(14:14):
something like that. Those kids look like their forties. You know,
it doesn't make any sense. Probably the full mustaches and
stuff didn't help. Yeah, alright, then we really we really
did a hell of a job. How about those dolphins.
We did a hell of a job on this podcast.
But you know what I would have got to say, though, God,
he's the only girl in here. It's really not the
same thing. I feel like there's a double standard when

(14:34):
you ask a guy who you would do for do
for money or the same sect, because I feel like
it's more acceptable for women. I think just two reasons.
One penetration to fly in DNA. I don't know what
that means, but if I had to pick, it would
be Rhanna Well Women, Women is no fluids going Women.

(14:58):
Fifteen minute Mornings Joel