Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, what would you talk about on your on your
podcast Firms Represents show. Wow, I don't think I've been
on one of these in quite some time. Welcome back,
(00:20):
kind of busy. I'm good, I've been busy. I'm tired.
I'm tired, but it's all good stuff. I'm tired from.
We are fat fox in this room, An I just
to address it right here at the top. We I've
been eating everything in sight today here in the studio.
Am I alone a lot to eat? We've been eating cookies,
and we ate some parogy earlier, and we ate some
(00:44):
incredible meats and cheese. And I don't understand. You just
said this room is full of fat fox. And as
you said, the word fox, scary, reach for the cookie.
He's calling a cookie right now. He is fourth quarters scary?
Is that scary? So Scary goes on Dr Fat Loss
in January whenever we get back from vacation. Second he
does it for forty days thirty pounds, and in the
(01:07):
rest of the year he puts it back on. Wow,
that's what's the first quarter scary. It's a detox talk.
And then and then he goes into total talks every
way and Dr Fatlows has told Scary if he would
just exercise maybe thirty minutes a day, two times a week,
keep it off. Anyway, So we've been eating like a
bunch of pigs today and it's just everywhere. And then
(01:32):
Scotty walks in and announces to the room, I a
girl had to go to the hospital because he yes
slammed her questions. Okay, we had to edit it up,
Sorry about that anyway. So anyway, so why did you
walk in and announce that to the room. Somebody was
(01:53):
talking about about six Gandhi was talking about sex injuries,
and that's the one that came to mind for me.
So I think it's the only sex injury I ever had.
I injured somebody by signing them injured to the point
of going to the hospital. Did. I have so many questions,
But that's a great show on t LC. Sex set
Me to the e. R. Should see how many people
go to the er for the sex reasons. Sex injuries, Yes,
(02:17):
there are a lot, they really are, Yeah, which I
didn't really know was the thing, but apparently it is
all right. So so far we've talked about feeding our
face with food and sexual injuries. Now where can we
go sexual food injuries. Don't talk to me about sex
and food. Sorry, my ears. Why I think we've we've
(02:42):
visited this before the time Scotty covered a girl with strawberry.
You know, she covered herself. I wanted no part with
what the Butterworth strawberry syrup. What happened? She covered herself
in syrup and I was disgusted and went to sleep.
And she just laid there and it looked like a
murder scene. So she laid there and Mrs Butterworth and
you well she was she was dancing around and poured
(03:04):
Miss Butterworth on her. I'm like, what are you doing?
And I just said I want no part of this.
And I rolled over and went to sleep. And she
just laid there all night with Mrs butter Let me
do with the sheets. I rolled the sheets up and
I took them home. It was at a hotel. It
was a motel. Yeah, I had told this story before.
I just it looked like a murder scene. I had
to get out of there. I just like that. She
thought she was being super sexy and suys like, what
the hell are you doing? Goodbye. Forensic Files does re enactments.
(03:27):
This is one thing I would like to see re
enact with actors playing the parts of when a spatter
expert coming in, like Dexter and Butterworth's talking the bottle.
So many questions I have about the bottle. So you
wanna talk about let's do rapid fire? Like everyone should
have a question ready to go. It's like our topic train.
(03:48):
I had one because Scotty mentioned that he was lived
in Iowa and Daniel gu I didn't know you? Really?
Is that how I sound? Just like everyone? Everyone knows
he lived in Iowa. I honestly didn't know you lived
in It was just ten months of my life when
I was eighteen. How come I moved out there for radio? No.
I moved out for a radio station that never went
(04:10):
on the air, and I worked for Western Union for
a couple of months, and I'm like, what am I doing?
I want to be in radio? And I came back
and I got hired here. Had no idea what that's
so cool it? But did you have a question, Nate?
I think that the question was was one interesting fact
about yourself that nobody else knows At this point, Scotty's
(04:30):
was in Iowa. I'm thinking of the tame you gave two. Okay,
so so it may take a moment to think of something.
But what interesting fact about you do we not know about?
Should I have something? I would never go ahead give
us a hint? No, who's the celebrity slept with? No
(04:52):
tell us? How do you know the answer? You got
drunk and told shut up. You've known me long. You
were drunk yesterday. You didn't tell us. I never you know,
this is one thing I'll take to my grave. Let's
beat it. I hope that soon. You know what's so
hard for you? Nate has a rant. You don't know?
Who's your ring? I don't have it. I was getting
(05:13):
a rash. Oh, Nate has a ring that he usually wears.
It says something, and he won't tell anyone. Well, that's
his that's his thing. I know somebody you told, but
they won't tell me. Probably Christopher cross Lyrics. So what
is wrong with having a secret? I think we all
deserve to have secrets. Here's the thing about a secret.
It's for you. But when you tell people I have
(05:33):
a ring that has something on it, I'm not telling you.
It's kind of like waving it. Ha ha ha. Here's
the thing if she saw it. There's something written on it.
So I just put it out there, and I'm not
going to tell you it's for me. Okay, I had
to say it. It's not like I'm going yan ying
tell you. I had to say but that's what she
did with the information about Elvis and the celebrity r
(05:55):
I'll tell you this. If you come to me and say, hey,
well I know a secret, I'm not going to tell you.
I will not even pretend to be curious. I be like, okay, whatever.
I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of holding
that above me in my head. I'm no, I don't
care if you don't want to tell me. I'm not
gonna play a game with you. I'm done playing games.
Somebody's grumpy. Not grumpy. I'm just I'm just a lot
(06:15):
of people like to do that. Well I know something,
blah blah blah. Okay, well good, I'm glad you did.
I finally reached that point in my life where I
don't care something comes up to me and says, oh,
you know what, who's doing this? I don't give a ship.
I'm sorry, I don't care anymore. It's great not to
give a ship. No one tells me this, Lisa, I
tell you guys this all the time. Froggy. Lisa's Froggy
hit fifty years old and she's Froggy. What Froggy's wife Lisa, Sorry,
(06:38):
she's fifty years old now. And she said, listen, I've
come to the point where I don't give your ship.
She's like, someone tells me something like that, and I'm like,
I don't give a fun whatever. That's that's why old
men wear playing pants. They don't give a ship. Yeah,
that's how you can tell you by how high their
pants are when they stopped caring. Like you look at
a guy who's closing from the seventies. You go in
nineteen seventies when he stopped giving a ship, right, And
(07:00):
you know old people sometimes they stop bathing. Yeah, Like
I don't want to name any names, but anyway, Yeah,
it's like go take a bath, you know. But as
people I read this white old people have that certain aroma.
Their skin gets thinner and the pheromones that your body
gives off come through the skin more easily, and you're
smelling the thing from the fermentation through the skin. And
(07:23):
then that's not it's not that they don't shower. It's
just that their body pheromones come through the skin easier.
I thought it was balls. Pheromones were supposed if you
put your head down there pheromones. I guess you're supposed
to be sexy too. I guess they do realize we're
all going to be there one day. I'm there. I
(07:43):
have to take your shower every day, at least, well
on some weekends I don't. But I mean I don't.
Don't your balls feel sticky? But I'm not talking about
my balls to you when I don't shower on weekends
sometimes too, if I'm in a soccer games and all
this crap. But I will clean the privates. I will
take care of what like. I will take care of
(08:04):
the naughty bits. Is my mom the t a. You
just go in with a rag and you don't take
a shower. I don't get it. Get a soap and
water on a rag and you wash. It isn't easier
just to get in the shower. Now, when you're in
a hurry, you get here at five in the morning.
On the weekends, you sleep late up and get a shower.
Excuse me on the weekend. Sometimes I'm busier than I
(08:25):
am during the week. But I would think if you're busy,
you stink more. You can just smell. Serious, I'm being serious.
If you're working around all weekend long and you're going
to games and stuff, you're gonna smell more. Yeah, and
that's when I'll shower at night. But in the morning.
First thing, I'm like, what does it help, Beside Sheldon,
if you shower at night, everybody else smelled you all that.
(08:47):
You know what? I swear to Gosh, my foot's goingn't
go so far up your as scary. Why are you
staring at me? You're creeping me out. No, I'm just
thinking about your balls looking around even staring at me
for a minute, have one. I'm just I'm just enjoying
this conversation. He's full, That's what it is. I'm not
enjoying this conversation. You're not change the topic. Can I
(09:09):
see the older guys a question at your first your
balls really start to hang talk about because you've mentioned
it before. Your balls really start to hang lower. I
would think because your boobs do so, I would think
gravity pulls and your balls start to haven't I personally
haven't noticed any difference. Okay, Well, that's good. They always
(09:30):
dragged the ground. I've seen underwear that said it's like
a braw for men. So I imagine that that saggy
thing is a thing. And then Scotty told me something
about Terminal five at the airport. That's right, my left
one what JFK airport Terminal five. Yes, every time I
go on a flight, I must go to the bathroom first,
(09:51):
and my left ball always hits the water, but only
in Terminal five. Toilets must be lower, water level must
be higher. Yeah, it's interesting. Can I say, if anyone
should write a book, should be Scotty? Yes, I agree,
because party needs a lawyer. Yeah, Scotty is an odd
quirk of nature. I find Scotty so entertaining because you
(10:12):
can ask him anything and he's like, yeah, I did
that once. Yeah, it doesn't matter, like you can string
together anything. I've known Scotty longer than all of you. Now.
I know that when he was much younger, he worked
at I think a convenience tour. Oh no, and you
you were, in a perverted way, the tampon thing turned
on by women when they went to shop in the
(10:34):
female hygiene department. Yes, and so you would record them
while they were buying tampons. Yes, you put you put
a record like a video recorder. Now, I put a
Whisper two thousand on the shelf so you can hear
what and say run in the back room. When there
was a girl in the tampon aisle and I put
headphones on. Maybe she'll save Oh god, it is now.
(10:57):
And it's one thing I didn't know about it. It's
so geeky, it's not illegal. And then I would open
the package and there's a little diagram of how to
put it in. I was like, yeah, forgive you are
you picturing Scotty doing it or dateline recreating? So yeah,
(11:17):
there's Scotty. I go back to the lawyer that he
needs right. Well, there was also and I don't know
if I told this before, but I used to go
to Blockbuster Video and rent breast cancer videos because they
were free, and well know I did what help? Well, okay, okay,
why because I wanted to see boobs? No, but that's
a very serious Oh no, I know, but you know
(11:37):
it was free. Every every boy? Yeah, which show you had? Everyone?
Straight boy? Knew which issue if National Geographic had the
naked people and all of them? Oh, my god. The
episode about the pigmies, they were all naked all the time.
The episode I did, they had a whole series of
them so angry at all the straight guys in here,
(11:59):
which because that's that's that's how they live. That was
twelve year old. If we're going down the twelve year old,
you know, Scotty ate scary like avenue, that was me
when I was told they're making fun of me for
taking a wash cloth? Did you never? Did you never
look at scrambled porn and seeing nipple? Yes, we all did. Know.
(12:23):
I gotta tell you, you know, I was exposed to
porn at a very young age. I mean, it was
just in the house, my brothers, whatever, and it was
not that big of a deal to me. It's it's
so when I looked at National Geographic Himsel women whose
breast were not covered, it didn't affect me. Then again,
I'm gay, okay. Well, the guys walking around where their
big trongs hanging out, they didn't do anything with me either.
(12:43):
I mean that it was more of a cultural thing.
I think it's interesting that they weren't wearing underwear. Let's
explain why scari girlfriends carry bowls on their heads. What
what I'm looking at pictures of pygmies. They all have
the walk around with I think we should just like this.
(13:05):
I want to hear more about Scotty's childhood because he's
so creepy. That's a whole fete minutes. Can you talk
about your dad's stealing the electric electricity? No? I sure can't.
Does he still does he still steal cable from next door? No? No,
you can't do that. Can I tell the story? They
have a wire between their neighbors house and there they
went one step further. He dug a trench to the
(13:28):
breaker when he stopped the streets so he would get
free power. It would like, that's not that's not what happened.
He would electrocuted and died. Oh you told me. He
subverted the main line so that he wasn't How does
he do that? Did you sneak out at night and
tap into the grid? Doesn't know it was cable, It
wasn't electric. There were people. There was one person who
(13:52):
I can't hear you what. There was one person who
would buy cable and then right and then they would
run wires and you would see the wire in the
back of the house go from each house. They would
snake it, kind of like Jerry ridgenses collaxial splitters on cable.
We did that in the Bronx too. You can't do
it anymore, no, no, it ruined everything everything digital. Do
(14:15):
you remember you used to not want to complain when
your cable one out of the box, because then they'd
come on and you wouldn't you'd have to hide. You
wouldn't want, like if something went out, you would be
nervous to call the cable company because they'd find out
that you were getting it illegal. Now we'll just share passwords.
It's the same thing, it really is. We learned a lot.
We have learned a lot today on this special edition
(14:37):
of the fifteen Minute Morning Show podcast. Gosh, I think
I learned way too much fifteen Minute Morning Show