Who did IT at the Wedding?

We talk about some behind the scene stories from Elvis and Alex's wedding. Plus who did "IT" vs. NOT!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
For what would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Elvis Presents show Seriously, Elvis expecting people to have sex
at his wedding? What? Why do guys see what I saw? Well,

(00:24):
in the men's bathroom at the hotel where the reception was,
there was like a basket of goodies, you know, you know,
usually mints and gum and things that after the man
washes his hands, you know, there were condoms in there.
There was condoms in the men's bathroom, which leads me
to believe Elvis was expecting random hookups at the wedding,

(00:45):
make sex, that was sure. I'm not judging him, just
asking the question, was he expecting it because he was
planning for didn't take any no my own, he must
he must have known I wasn't tryveling with anyone this
time because in my hotel room I had lotion in
a box, a tie. Everybody hooked up this weekend. Okay,

(01:12):
let's go. Let's go around the room several times, three
to two and a half. Really because I took back three.
It wasn't a full three half half for her. Now
the half was the half was my part? Half? Doesn't
even me like yeah, So twice so the moment she landed,
we we got there, it was it was on. Then

(01:34):
after the first day when I went to the gym
and I got back and cleaned up on again. Then
the third time was like, come on already, and then
that's where the half came in. So there no, not
the whole time. She came in on Thursday. Those Thursday, Friday,
Friday was freaking sensational. Friday. I even texted, I think Scar,

(01:58):
that's where we were wanted to go out and and
I text you, right, I'm not going to stay it
on the podcast. I just told him the text. I
was like, we just got done. First of all, he
wakes me up early for breakfast for breakfast. Then we
go to breakfast, and he texted me, I'm not going
to make it to breakfast. I decided I'm just gonna go. Fuck.
That's that. I'm telling you. That's great. You fucking whooped

(02:19):
me up what I could have had some of my own.
I gotta tell you that I cleaned the pipes. There
is some like something like a destination wedding that really
brings it out people. Danielle, Yes, definitely, But I'm trying
to think because Friday we were crazy on Friday too

(02:41):
that I'm trying. No, no no, no, what I'm saying. We
were like, oh you didn't do it Friday. That's where
the half comes in because going into it, there wasn't
a lot of time. I'm trying to think what time
Friday it was, because it was afternoon or it was morning.
It wasn't evening that day. I can't remember. Great, he's
leading with two and a half because it wasn't maybe two,

(03:01):
but not two and a Half't know what two and
a half met Ever, my other half came in on Friday,
Friday night, late Friday night, so I guess mine was
Saturday and then mine was Saturday. Good for you, Sam,
I think I have to take the lead with three. Yeah,
oh wow. I mean evenly spaced out or did you

(03:23):
have a burst of energy somewhere around there? Pretty evenly
spaced out one morning, two nights. You know we did
a good job. That is good. Yeah, excellent, Garrett. Not
to like one up you for four wow four dor
And the one like weird time was that that long
period before we got our food at the reception. Oh yeah,

(03:46):
you went upstairs. Yeah, And by the way, I was
next to Gregg Tea's room. He's very loud him personally pipe.
I know I heard him, and that's the funny things
that I heard him going at it. At one point
I lowered the television. I go, I know, I'm hearing

(04:08):
somebody like they slapped or something, and I'm here and
so but he's lying. He's saying it to cover up himself.
That's what happened. The walls. We were checked in at
the same time. He goes, give me a favor. I'm
gonna go in my room and scream. Really you can
hear me, Garrett Ali slaps you around the bedroom. Somebody
was getting slash. That's all I know. I think I'm

(04:30):
bringing up the rear with zero. Yeah, shut up, Dick.
So Robin would come until Thursday and then, you know me,
I'm a morning guy. Friday morning we were up early
for breakfast, and then Saturday morning, just when I thought
we were going to get one in great teams like
come on, let's go to breakfast and then fox me
over when I could have laid in bed. Saturday was

(04:52):
my relaxation morning. We could have had it all. Take
my time with ship I don't do and half fast bullshit.
He also does it on Sunday mornings, and he had
an early flight on Sunday's room. That was why I
couldn't do it on side daddy. I think Goddy's gonna win?
How many Gundy? Why? Why does everyone think Brandon and
I hook up so much? I think it's a new relationship.

(05:15):
Come on, okay, Well he was only there for a day.
Three she's got the most proportioned about you. I think
I was tired with you. I was at four yea
good names? No hold on, let's give. Wasn't there one
than a half tissue box? Had your wife been there,

(05:40):
would you have had sex? Oh? Absolutely not on that Well,
Scotty might have had sex until they didn't talk anymore.
Board you know what, that's respectable. Good job. We all
had such a good weekend. I had a great weekend,

(06:03):
but it didn't involve sex. Pissed and you did have
a good weekend. I just wish the husband had been
able to come in sooner. Like he didn't come, He
didn't get there. Told I think it was Thursday, late Thursday,
all the days together? Really do I know? It was
Thursday night and he was only there for like two days.
It just was so fast, but he couldn't get away

(06:24):
from working things with the kids. But it was just
I wish he could have been there since like Wednesday,
and we got there my stocking food and like flexibility
and multiple ways, but like come on only in the morning,
so you didn't get But I will say some of
that because I wanted. Here's here's the problem with a
wedding like we had in a weekend like we had
was there was a lot of alcohol, a lot of

(06:47):
drinking and very tiring. And I love late night sex.
I'll just come out and say it, because you've been
kind of turning each other on all night. But I
was so drunk you couldn't really do it, so I
had to rely on morning sex, which I know his
eye class problem for somebody that hasn't had anything. I
just remember Sheldon saying to me, how much time for
you have to get your hair and make up done?

(07:09):
And I went and then I remember him at one
time was so cute. I had blown out my hair,
and I remember he says to me, um, is your
hair Okay? I said, it doesn't matter, Dina's doing it later.
Let's go. Let just bowing out at least Greg didn't
dick you over. No, I didn't think anybody the wrong word.

(07:30):
Two and a half time. It was very good after
the gym, dude, there was nothing better than having sex
after the gym. You go and get a great work out,
you're feeling good, absolutely yes, and then you get back
to the gym and you know what it was. She
was in the shower and I'm like, I gotta go

(07:52):
get a shower myself. So it starts there. And what
she excited that you got in the shower. You know,
at first she's like, Dad, I got shave my I
that razor one ideal image and you can have all
the stour sex. And I said, throw the razor down
and let's get going. And then one thing leaves to
another and I go, take off that freaking plastic cap

(08:13):
off your Your wife had a shower cap on, and
you still wanted to do it. Take it off. Want
Bang Brothers to write a corner like this show Harry
Legs and a shower cap like hot though, I will say,

(08:35):
well then I then I said to her, I said,
I said we won't we got out. I'm like, like,
come on, you put these new shoes, put these sun pitches,
off said that to Scotty said to Amy, I don't
care about anything that's you're wearing those shoes. Later on,
let me grab them heels and drive this truck. Let's
go to your wife as a truck. Yeah. Man, have
you guys have another topic plan for this? Somebody did, Sam.

(08:59):
It was really embed thing that happened to someone else.
So we had a guess at the wedding who missed
the ceremony because he went to the table that had
our seating arrangements first, picked up his name, saw the
table he was at, and just meandered into the party
where he never been to a wedding. He sat in
that party room alone during the entire beautiful sund noticed

(09:21):
nobody else was around it though the people were just
showing up late. At some point, I'm going to need
a name because long question from this person. I'll give
you a name when the mics are turned off. More questions.

(09:44):
That's breakup worthy. It was an honest, hilarious unfortunate mistakes
down at the table before the wedding. I don't know,
maybe biggest wedding wedding. Okay, so this is on my mind.

(10:06):
I will never ever plan another group dinner again. I'm
the plan maker guy, and I you, Garrett fucked me over,
and you've got over than you did with your own
girlfriend everyone because Greg T gret T said let's do
it big, let's do it dinner. And I said, we

(10:27):
got a lot of people with us. So I found
the one restaurant in town, which happened to be a
very good restaurant that would accept a reservation for twenty people.
I don't know if you can say it was very good.
It was much better than where the other half ended up.
Here's so I said, you know what I'm going. I'm
gonna go around and I'm gonna get everybody on board
for this, all right, So here's the twenty people. And

(10:50):
I started sending text messages out. So the place gave
me the room. They said, you know what, you could
have the private room. You got twenty people coming, no problem.
I go, I go take a nap. Whatever. Now it's
like four thirty five o'clock and I'm like, wait a second.
I'm like, I didn't hear back from anybody. I put
the text out there, I made the confirmation I got,
and then all of a sudden I hear, no, they're like, oh, yeah,

(11:11):
you know what, Hey, I got it. Uh, I got
that dinner coming up. No, no, I got my own
thing going. Hey, Scotty got a dinner coming up. No,
we're going with Jeff Jeff. Wait a second, he was
on my list. No, no, Jeff Jeff's out too, and
uh so was Froggy Gandhi ahead, tell him your part.
I tapped out because it was Diamond's birthday. So I heard, Okay,

(11:32):
there's gonna be a tiny little thing from Diamond if
you want to go. But that was after dinner. That
was after dinner. It was no, no, no, it was
before dinner. There was another thing. Maybe you didn't know about,
but no, I knew about it. It was it was
not only like five people were going to take Diamond
to dinner and then go do that after, but it
was like, I'm gonna go to dinner with her birthday.
So they split it off into the five and then
everybody else went to another place, went to a steakhouse,

(11:53):
like ten people not in my room, and everybody was
Everyone asks me to make a plan, and I spent
a lot of time and energy on it, and then
everyone backs out and we got and then then they
don't tell me, and they don't tell me. They backed out,
leaving Gregg, T and I and Brody to go to
dinner together. And we know I got turned out. Scary

(12:13):
because when it's left up to you to make a plan,
you pick a really boogie expensive plan. It was not
boogie expensive. In fact, you guys paid more for your
dinner at the steakhouse that we paid for hours want
to say. People looked at the menu and they were like, no,
that's too expensive for me. I can't go. Yes, if
I could. Greg said it was told me it was
a very expensive. Part of the problem. And he looks

(12:34):
at bougie places and doesn't see them as bougie. That's
why he's bougie. When the cheapest, the cheapest, you know,
the cheapest entree was forty six dollars, that's not true.
That's not true. And he's got all that he's got
all that money from the Huggers Huggies campaign. So I
mean honestly, But then then everyone be forthright and saying, yo, scary,

(12:54):
it's not gonna fly. Why do I have to wait
till last minute? Everybody dropped out. That's why we're assholes.
I'm gonna go right off, fucking Scotty b Is. So
it is Garrett and Froggy, all of you guys. You're
all dickheads, and you guys have zero You know you
you have zero? Um your high horse for one second
you start cursing at anybody. You and I had a

(13:15):
conversation three hours before dinner. Hey you win. No, Ali
got in just just a little while ago. If she
stays up until eight o'clock to hour difference at ten pm,
she's going to be asleep at dinner. But that early on,
Yeah said I'm not I'm out, and that was it,
and I had to hear from gandhi were out. Danielle,

(13:37):
you're not part of it because you said you were
eating your room in the whole time, and neither of
you had a nice private room that was a third
fold and they were looking at us the whole night going.
We gave you this room, but just nine people. It
was never committed. But you're upset, and I get why
you would be upset. I'm just telling you. I know
specifically people told me I'm not going to that dinner
because I can't but tell me that so I can

(13:58):
call ahead of time and be nice to the restaurant.
People are very embarrassed to say something like that, we're
fucking friends here when people still like a friend right now.
People still went and when saying the cheapest appetizer was pat,
tell me you know what a lot less than the
steakhouse bill was. I've known the bill. The bill for

(14:21):
nine people was six six hundred plus tip with six hundred, okay,
the bill for the steakhouse. I heard you all got
ripped off and it was like over a thousand bucks.
Oh my god. People went to the state. I'm not
even broken down by the couple. We paid a hundred
and thirty bucks, okay, a hundred thirty dollars, So it
was likes less a person. It was. The place I

(14:42):
was going to was not Brugie. Nate was no part
of this because Nate, once again he didn't don't committed
with Denis. I saw Nat and Heather in the car
with Dennis was walking back from my message. How much
would you have you got thousand dollars for Danielle? I a
a lot offended that we break down the smaller have

(15:07):
the decency to come forward and say cancel the plane.
That being said, are you glad we have gotten this
out of your system. I cleaned my pipes just now.
Was this a half or a full cleaning of the pipe?
That was a full on clean. I will say I'm
a little disappointed in everybody that I mean, I would
have liked to have done a dinner, let's say, with
with you, Nate, and you didn't ask at all. I

(15:29):
didn't have we didn't have enough time. But I'm never
considered I would have your dinner together. There when you
go to great, Great to you, I'm gonna take you
the fifteen minute Morning Show