Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Represents show. Seriously, I looked up at the ceiling
the air conditioning vent, and there's mold all around it.
I mean, are we gonna die? Uh, there's a good
(00:23):
possibility at some point we all will. Garrett. Are you
from an air conditioning family? Yeah? I can't die. I
got enough problems with me. Danielle. Danielle, look at that
air conditioning event in the middle of the room. Look
at that mold. One nothing, it's disgusting it, you know.
I read up on all different forms of mold, all
different kinds. Why the black mold is the worst, and
(00:44):
if it's in your bathroom and then as soon as
the shower comes on with the steam mixed with the mold,
health problems. Well look at this, but that's that is
black mold. Get your leaves in as disease or something.
Can you catch that? Yeah? From mold? Yeah? Well, does
not show up to work anymore. I'm not coming in tomorrow.
I'm not coming in. I shouldn't have come in today.
I should not have been on the show today. Why
(01:05):
not because I kind of stirred it up today and
now I sort of regret yelling at that lady who
she was deserving every sentence, Sara Pat. I should have
just let it go. I should have just said okay,
just like screw. So. I saw that tweet originally, which
was directed at me, and I think Danielle's name was
mentioned in there too, And originally I started typing out this,
(01:27):
how dare you? You know you're not even you won't
even have a prime you know, blah blah blah, And
then I thought about it. I'm like, you know what,
I'll just make a joke and try and kill her
with kindness. But there have been times where I've blown
up on people. Look, you know, she she was picking
on me. Yeah, she had no right to do. And
it makes me and I can take all. I can
(01:49):
take a lot, you know me. I I ignore it usually,
just delete and block whatever, But today I'm like, no,
not today stopped like she should. Like I understand if
she was upset about you burping on air and she
just wanted to say, hey, you know, maybe other people
don't want to hear that bad blah blah blah, but
to end it off with you're a husband. I mean, honestly,
(02:09):
it's like, where do you stop. Just stop there. And
Elvis's defense, we all reach our boiling point. We can
all take it in. Take it in, we take it,
take it, take it. At some point you're gonna explode. Okay,
well let's let's let's get closer to the subject. Maybe
I am a has been stop. Okay, so she said
you are. Let's just deconstruct the center. You are past
(02:32):
your prime? Well maybe, I mean, look, we've had great
success on the show. We've been on the air together
most of us name for twenty three years. Maybe maybe
we are past our prime. But don't you think that
if you're past your prime, ratings wouldn't be higher than
they've ever been rating Some say maybe this is the
prime right now. I don't know, is it a prime?
(02:53):
Someone's opinion of what your prime is. That's an opinion.
That's not a facist say what a prime is. Well, okay,
so let's look at the fact. I mean, ratings wise,
we're still great, but know we it could be residual.
I mean the ratings could be about to just slippery
slope down the hell. You know, maybe we're done. Maybe
she's right, So I want to say thank you. Sarah
(03:14):
Patriot eight reminding me that I'm past my prime. Well,
does that incentivize you to try harder? Well, you know
what they say, and I said this on the air
once you never really arrive. You're either getting better or
you're slipping backwards. So so are we slipping backwards? Are
we are we trying to get better? I don't think
(03:35):
we'll ever know, like when we are slipping backwards, so
you'll know they'll fire us all. Here's what I'll say,
Like Gandhi coming in, that was a breath of fresh air.
And I know that's such a cliche hack phrase, but
I think that makes us all try harder. Thanks guys,
if that's true. I like it is true because we
love you. And knowing that Danielle actually enjoys coming to
work every day because you're here makes me happy because
(03:55):
she's my sister. At the end of the day, it's
all for Danielle. Oh, okay, that's what it is. By
the way, this girl whatever was the freaking name patriot
idiot just joined Twitter just je in July. She could
delete her name and start over. She didn't have that
many followers. Skin off our back, so she we didn't
(04:15):
do anything. I think it's nice that you have a
little bit of regret and you're feeling like, oh, maybe
I shouldn't have done that. However, I also think every
now and then you got to chop a head off
and let everybody know that this is what happens when
you stepped him. Now and then, I need to be
Elvis impaler. Yes, couple, Yeah, I don't you think that's
a great band name? A Changing the subject? So I
(04:38):
did burp a lot on the air today, and I
guess you guys found that funny. I was. I had
a little taste of some kind of food poisoning earlier,
but that all came out. We're good, Okay, it all
came out. Really, I had duck for lunch yesterday. There
is something funny about it, something about that sounds like
(04:59):
the boogiest version of food poisoning I've ever heard duck sandwich.
I have some bad caveat And honestly, you're probably the
only person in America saying the words I got sick
from duck. Oh, why do you keep giving the name?
I didn't know that was, Like, is that really the name?
It's not? Can we delete this? So what else you
(05:24):
want to talk about? What's wrong with scary? What part
of this he's on the West coast? Fee, I'll tell
you what. I'll tell you why we need to go
back and do a little because I was talking about
eating duck yesterday and I think it didn't sit right
with me, right, and so Gandhi's over. You're saying the
name of the place. I don't want to say that,
so we will cut that out. Well, if you're listening
to this right now, it's already been cut out. It's scary.
(05:44):
Just started paying attention to my phone. So scary. Here
you are doing the fifteen minute morning show podcast, but
you're in your phone. Who you who? I am trying
to check to see if Sarah Patriot eighty eight unblocked
all of us and the Republicans again, and she is not.
She's still she's not gonnaun block. What do you think
her days like? Now? Why are we talking about her?
I want to know what her day is like. Do
(06:06):
you think she's her day is ruined? Probably probably loves
the fact that she's getting on this attention. That's why
I'm trying to change the something to the duck that
made you sick. So so we went out last night
and Uh, we're at the bar having dinner and drinks whatever.
And then I look up and turn Robbie. As I
told this story earlier, but maybe if you didn't hear
the show. So in turn Robbie. So we hung out
(06:28):
with him. We had a couple of cocktails with him.
He came back to our apartment and we found out
he's he's living in a building that's connected to our building.
It's like the weirdest, smallest little world. How does that work?
Building that's connected to your building. Isn't that still your building? No? No,
in New York City, you have buildings because it's the building.
It's Jason to your building. Yes, that is he getting
trouble for not coming in today. Yeah, he didn't come
(06:49):
in and he said we I guess we got him
too trashed. I'm hoping nothing. You don't have to come
in your Do you want to call him and say
I don't have and he he's been texting people. Yeah,
there's an intern chat that they have, uh snapchat, yacht
I keept saying, given my number, have him call me.
I'm want to find out if he's okay. He's not
(07:10):
calling me anyway. It's just weird. Look, look, you know,
it's one thing if we get together because we work
with each other, we have cocktails with each other, we
party with each other. It's another thing when you know
this twenty year old intern not even old enough to drink,
it's like slamming back shots and me and stuff. I'm like,
oh my god, he was kind of crazy last night.
We've learned, we've we've learned about Robbie how crazy he is.
(07:31):
Now we've got to see it in the flesh as
it actually happened. All right, Well, no, you know, Gandhi, Danielle, everyone,
he was supposed to have a three way with this
couple yesterday and they were going to video it and
everything scheduled for last night. Well, he was with us,
so I know it didn't happen. He keeps leading them
on though he does, Like he told him not yet,
and then he told them obviously last night not yet again,
(07:52):
like that that's not And then he has like a
list of rules which we never got to his list
of rules that he has a list of rules for
his three way with a couple. So he's an college
right now. Robbie's in college. Once you're out of college
and you're leading this lifestyle, isn't it kind of a
little like creepy? No, that's lazy personal. No, he's a
prostitute at that point if he's making If he's making money,
I don't think they're paying him. Where did he find
(08:13):
this couple? Don't list. I'm gonna go on craigslist right now.
Let's see if we can find a couple that makes sense.
Are you in heather looking? I did have a I
did date someone before that was in three ways, which
I didn't find out until after. Were you listed on
back page? No? What'sges bag? I think I shut it down. Yeah,
(08:34):
I thought they did scy Okay, So when's the last
time you had a three way? Nate? I've never had one.
Never last night scary Never. No, I'm one of the
rooms had a three way? Have you had more than
a three way? No? How many three ways have you had? Oh? Yeah,
(08:59):
A couple of them that I can recall in the book. No,
just a couple like the way I could ever be
in a three way as if I was the extra person.
I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I had
a three way gone bad? And so you were in
a three way? No? No, no, went bad before it
even happened. I was like eleven years ago. These two
(09:21):
girls were at a club and I was there, and
all of a sudden we were on their way back
to their motel and the two girls got into a
fight with each other on the way that you were
so excited. I'm like, no, do you guys love each other?
In the next time, I thought he was about to say,
(09:44):
they left me out of it. They had a fight,
damn it. You close. It was a three way kiss
at the club and it ended up had yes, But
that was the end of that. I think they got
rid of their section on here for like up, shut down, Yeah,
we're dying people. Killer Mutilated Killer was always hilarious to
(10:09):
go through. There, you want to go through the misconnection.
Missconnections are a lot of fun. Speaking of the Craigslist killer,
there was there was some some news story here in
New York. This lady was robbing banks and they gave
her a name like the Pink Lady. It was the
Pink Lady. What was she doing? She was robbing banks
and stuffed the Pink Lady. Still haven't got her. Let
(10:29):
me feel like I'm watching Batman because they give them
like these villains, these criminal names were rubbed by the
Pink Lady. Bendit. Yes, the pink bank robberies. Did I
ever tell you about the gentleman bank robber? The gentleman
So I wh batman lived When I moved to Arizona.
I lived with my friend and he had a house
(10:50):
and he would contract this guy to come in. Would
just show up in this beat up pickup truck, you know,
put in cactuses and you know, rake rocks across the yards. Domain.
So he would hire this guy, pay him cash. He
would show up, sometimes he wouldn't, sometimes he would show
up late, whatever, and the guy just stopped showing up.
So then like three months later, the cops knock on
(11:11):
the door and like, hey, excuse me, did this guy
ever work for you? And they hold up a picturing Yeah,
he did work for me, but I haven't talked to
him in months. Well, he's the gentleman bank rob because
he was polite when he would write out notes, like
very polite notes, and be yes and thank you when
he would take money. And they love the gentleman bank robbing.
They call him a gentleman bank They called her the
(11:32):
pink lady. They called her the pink lady. Let me
keep looking, pink Lady, bandit. There were two people involved
in this bandit Tree Bandit Tree. By the way, I
love when Nate tells the story, he uses sound effects.
They were sitting and there was a knock at the door.
So this woman apparently wore large sunglasses, yoga pants, a
(11:55):
baseball cap, and often carried a hot pink purse. Oh
my god, it's Danielle. So they called her the pink lady.
Lady bend and knock at the door. They've gotten her,
all right, So what else you want talking about? I'm
still looking for misconnections, you know what people do now though,
It's like I feel like having a misconnection is harder
(12:16):
because everyone just air drops you crap, which is absurd.
Have you been air dropped dirty pictures? Yeah? On the subway.
It happens all the time. People will air drop you
a dick pick. Oh my god, I never get that.
That's why you have to start writing the subway. You're
right there. Drop You know you can't shut that down.
If you said I'm only accepting air drops from people
(12:37):
I know, but I like to keep it spicy. I'm
only accepting dick picks from people I know, now people
I don't know. I always just look around who's looking
for one dick at a time. I gotta check my
settings and make sure I'm open to everyone. Yeah, because
people air drop you all kinds of stuff. Yeah. What?
I just got a text from Heather Nate's girlfriends. What happened?
(13:01):
She want a three way with you? Do we do?
We all eat the keys? Yeah? We did? You all
loved it? Yeah, whine so glad to feed the morning show?
So Heather made a key made So what's the problem?
She said? Glad to feed the morning show crew, although
I didn't know Nate was taking it in? Is this
the wrong time to mention I used mayonnaise and the recipe.
(13:26):
Danielle Danielle, she she had put manse. She texted me,
happy to provide breakfast. But what, Garrett? What Danielle? In
your in your It was so good though, it was
(13:49):
so cool here Dane, Dane, Dane, you okay, I want
to hear her. Oh love here takeing a swig of ttos.
You were just smiling. You loved the keys, and you
(14:09):
didn't know what it had mayonnaise. Oh she's You're vomiting
out that beautiful cage. You know, I didn't know, you
didn't know. She just said it. Now, do you just
do you see how ridiculous you are right now throwing
up You had taffy two seconds ago. You're out of
(14:32):
your frigging mind. Danielle Heather clearly said I didn't know
Nate was taking it to work, but still you ate
it in your fine and you're still throwing up. Oh oh,
this is my this is awesome, sious honey, you are
(14:54):
purging like a mofo. The Fifteen Minute Morning Show