Senioritis

With the show only a day away from vacation, everyone has a serious care of "Senioritis"

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
For what would you talk about on your on your podcast?
Firm Elvis represents Minute morning show. Right here we go,
do it, let's do it. What do you want to
talk about? Well, around the table, we've got Gandhi and
Scary trying to pull Gandhi's purse out of his chair.

(00:24):
It's one of the person over there is Dave Brody
and there's great team who's texting someone? Who are you
texting a neighbor of mine? Why? What's wrong? He wants
to know? Something's no, no, no no, we want to know,
don't we want what wasn't you texting your neighbor about.
I'm saying sorry that I did not thank him. I

(00:45):
didn't thank him yesterday. His wife and his daughter they
went to that new mall by that you went to
the home in home down New Jersey. The what's it
called bell? I don't know. So you're thanking him? Yes,
I forgot to say thank you to him, So that's
all I told him. Sorry, I asked. Also, there's Garrett,
and there's Danielle and straight Nate who has a thought

(01:06):
to get his starting. Well, you probably didn't listen to
the podcast yesterday, Elvis. Uh, but did not? Greg t
I wanted to follow up on how your noses? Well,
what happened to greg ts nose? So it started with
he was watching an old episode of Three's Company whatever,
and Jack Tripper had chop sticks up his nose, So
he said, hey, how long do you guys think you

(01:27):
could have chopsticks up here? No, so we challenged him
during the podcast to do it, which the chopstickers are
still here. That's disgusting. And then so wait, wait, wait,
so you stuck chop sticks up your nose for the
entire podcast. Book World records. Not only did he stick
them up his nose, but he learned that the right
nostril as an extra hole up top, so he can

(01:50):
actually shove it up further into his brain. So I
think there's no brain on that. Everyone's for getting the
most important part. He started bleeding and stabbed himself somewhere
in the nose and started nose bleeding all over. So
your brain, your brain was hemorrhaging on the podcast, I
think that sounds like it was. I'm so sorry I

(02:11):
missed that. Can we get video of that? We took
these don't do it again, Don't do it again. That
thing needs to heal. Why are the chopsticks still here
and not in the time? It's disgusting. This is a
brother of the chopsticks. Are you Stone now? You're you're
acting Stone was tired? Actually fine? Is it brain damage?

(02:34):
It might be? I'm fine. Are you're doing fine after this? Yes,
everything dried up. And you know I had a pick earlier.
You actually clotted seven times six. It's funny, so was
his nose was bleeding and then to verify to verify
the bleeding, he stuck his entire finger on his nose
and then came up, Oh, yeah, I guess bleeding. By

(03:00):
the way, the question is you just asked him, Brodie,
I have a block in my head. I can never
answer seven times six. I just I can't that little
that little room in my brain that that includes the number.
I guess forty two, right. It takes me so much
thought to get get that answer seven times seven. But
I guess that one up. But no, but seven times

(03:23):
six was always my really bad trouble one. You can't
do it. But don't you feel like when anyone gives
you a math equation, It's like when the cops are
following you when you're driving the car. You just you
freeze up. You can't think when you're on the spot
like that, it says, I guess that could be the
same concept of you having an answer to something until
someone asks you a question and you're like, I just
had that answer, but now I can't answer it because

(03:44):
you asked it. How does the brain work that one?
It's so funny. You can't do seven times six. I
can't do seven plus six, really I can't. It's thirteen, right,
But then I'll have to think seven plus seven is fourteen? Okay,
that would be for whatever reason, that's a mental block
for me. I look at the two numbers and they
just don't That's how I do. I take I take six,

(04:05):
and I go threes to ten into three more. You
want to know what I met? The block for me
is every heffing math problem known to man. Two plus
to fuck you? Was that how they learned it? In
the bronx to plus to foursomes. I remember when I
was growing up in Miss mcmurder's class in third grade,

(04:25):
she would have these dumb records she would play and
they were they were the multiple multiplication tables, and it
was like done to a song one times one is
one thing, one times two is to thing. So I
would get so bored with these freaking things. I would
pretend to be sick and have to go to Nurse
Nesbit's office and she would lay me down on the
on the nurse couch and I could hear the echoing

(04:48):
four times four in sixteen from down the hallway. It's
just one of those dumb childhood memories that really adds
up to nothing, but it was. It was one of
those those things I cannot purge from my head. So
I so now every time I see someone or here
someone doing multiplication problems, whatever I think of Nurse Nesbit, Really,

(05:09):
don't you have some triggers? I think of Mrs Cable,
who was killed by your husband after I graduated. Yes, no,
I learned multiplication from her. Not murder who killed Mrs
Cable in the US? Okay, So no sad story. Um,
Apparently her husband had some mental problems and bashed her

(05:33):
head in with a hammer and an eerie This is
like a huge story and she looked like three blocks
for me. So we drive by the murder house. So
what did miss Cable teach? Oh? Everything? So I went
to a small Catholic grade school, so all of the
teachers kind of traded off, and she did math, but
then she did social studies the next year. But she
crowned me multiplication came oh, and he crowned her as well.

(05:57):
I don't think that was the well, sorry to bake
it a downer. Who's who's got a good teacher? She
was googled it and I found her obituary. You didn't
like Kathy Cable here? Okay, I'm board she killed by
the Cable guy. Stop it, god, Oh my god. Okay,
so let's be honest. Can we talk about what's really

(06:19):
going on in this room. We are one day away
from vacation, and each one of us is fried, beyond fried.
You know, we talked about this yesterday on the podcast.
I think everyone has a case of senioritis that last
couple of days of school. My brain is more fried
than usual. Yesterday I drove to take my pilates class,
and thankfully I was twenty minutes early because I parked

(06:41):
the car in the parking lot and I fell asleep
in the car for twenty minutes. Then I put the
alarm on, and then I still went home after the
class and stook a three hour nap. That's how freaking
tired I am. It's crazy. And and then this morning
I went into my kitchen and I'm like, why am
I in this kitchen? I can't remember I came in
here for We get totally fried because our brains are

(07:04):
just tired gone. Do you seem to be the only
one that still has brain power for now and you're
the one that's always stone Yeah, proof it's healthy for you.
It's good for you. My short term memory is ship
but everything else is crazy exactly. So this is how
we have always been for these many many years we've
been doing this show. It's like the day or two

(07:25):
before vacation, the wheels fall off the card. It sort
of does feel like the last day of school. Yeah,
everyone's just running around like a little bit giddy, a
little bit upset, but it's awesome. Hold on, who's upset,
who's giddy? Who's running around? Take it all back and
you're excited? Yeah, I just all I'm thinking about is
sleeping underrated. You're giddy to sleep okay for vacation. And

(07:49):
we do um um, what the hell's that thing we
do with the music and we play crazy thank you
see my brains vacation flush the floor mat tomorrow floor mat.
We called it the floor mat. Don't know why not.
I think so it's arid, and we thought about what
we want to do. Danielle is the only one with
the original idea. I had an idea, idea. Okay, so

(08:09):
during the morning, we're all texting. At some point, somebody's
texting somebody on their phone. I think it would be
fun too for all of us at a random time
during the day to just read the last text you
sent loud. I'll read mine right now, okay, okay, text message,
last read one we sent or one that was received,
because I received one, since I think the last text
you sent okay, okay, mind do I look fat to you?

(08:34):
Mine was too froggy? My apologies? Thank you. Mine was ah,
that's my girl. Mine was to Sam, sounds good. Thanks
for the remoney, O mine. In the beginning of the show,
I said, small world funny, how our kids met? Ha?
Ha ha. Why do you do the emphasize? I will
tell you. I will tell you. The text I said
before that was to my friend Mike. I said, did

(08:57):
you grew up an old Beth Page? Long Island? Because
that's where Scotty grew up. And he swears he's lived
across the street from a boy named Mike and he
diddled his balls. Scott tickled some guy Mike's balls. Yeah, yes, story,
Hey Scotty, Oh boy, does he want this on the air.
Don't use the last name by them? Okay, So so

(09:17):
you diddled a guy's balls and we figured out it
wasn't my friend Mikey. He grew up in Smithtown. I
can't do this. But he said it was an accident
and you didn't really mean and he ran home and
wash your hands. So how's that an accident? What? No,
I'm not talking about And did he like it? I

(09:38):
don't know. I don't think. So they were half they
were nine, they had nine balls. Scott, why would you
bring it up to everyone? Knowing that he didn't, what's
going to happen? He brought up to one person. I
want my little tickled. I want that. Here we go. So,

(09:58):
so who's the last person you center? Text to my girlfriend?
I said, do I look fat to you? What was
her answer? Yes? No, honey the honeypot and the bear
emoji no honey bear, which is translation for your fat
called me a honey bear. It's like, we need the
booze fat. So I can tell you another reason why

(10:18):
we know we're on edge before vacation because straight Nate
went went home and ate an entire gallon of ice cream.
Like I'm getting fat? Can you guys just admit it?
And I'm getting fat? I see you, but we don't.
I had to throw away so many pairs of pants.
I'm down to shorts. That's like the first step before
you become a fat guy. You're famous for buying pants
that are too small. You don't throw away clothes when

(10:42):
you gain weight, you put them in another No, I've
just given up already. He does feel that way. I'm
just buying stretched pants. I had Garrett. Garrett knows this
guy that has stretched pants, and I'm like, can I
get a discount? You need to buy the at a
button I had the Actually I was using. This is
so embarrassing. I've been you saying hair ties that I
looped through. I didn't need him on these because these

(11:04):
are my fetch. That's a pregnancy trick. You're fat Scary's
fourth quarter pants. You know what he's already wearing. But
I will here in the second quarter. I will say that.
I used to everyone wants to come back to my
pants because I was like, I was like, you know what,
I'm really I don't I'm not done wearing these. So

(11:25):
I would going to the place that does the alterations
and I would ask them if they unsow the button
and just give me a little bit more over, move
it over a little bit. And I did that, and
it's like three parents, Hey, can we talking about you
yelling at us about the omelet. I just think that, okay,

(11:46):
you can. You cannot make it. I'm just trying to
fill up time. We've got three minutes. You can't make
a judgment on something if you've only had one variety
of that thing. Yeah, you can't do that. You can
make a judgment anything you want to make a judge,
you do. I go every where I've gone to brunch
or lunch or breakfast my entire life. I've tried the omelet.
Omlet is my favorite thing to have in the morning,

(12:06):
So I try it everywhere. So I know there's good
omelets and there's bad omelets. And I really feel that
if America tasted an omlet, a proper French omelet from me,
properly with a lot of butter and done slow and
low on the grill. I honestly think they would prefer
that over what you're being used to serve at the

(12:28):
corner store. What's being used to serve to you at
a corner store where they just throw it on the grill,
they spray some pam. Keep calling a grilled grill grill.
You put pam in the pan, that's not good and yeah,
and then it's it turns old brown on the outside.
People like them because you might not know. It's like,

(12:50):
I don't I'm in a comparison if you've only been
with a certain kind of guy or a guy that,
how did you know that you wouldn't like another kind
of guy to here you are? Are? You are driving
that Kia when you really should be driving a Rolls Rice.
You don't understand. You can't really say you know what
a good car drive feels like until you've had the

(13:11):
Rolls Royce of Rolls Royces. I just think you could
make your own assessment after you've had a variety of that.
You know, what do you think about scary in is
omelet snobbery? I don't really care. I don't give a.
I'm just trying to fill up. There is a place
that's about two blocks from here that I would love
to bring everybody to do. If you're paying, I'm buying.

(13:36):
It's walkable. We have one minute left. By the way, Brodie,
I thought you guys lunch, and you guys never gave
me no. Danielle does Brody and I and after after
I'm not doing omelets. I'm sorry. Why do you owe them?
That was my little Christmas thing for them, just to

(13:59):
say thank you for the year's n I hope you
get a proper omelet out. I'm not keeping out six months.
Why don't we just wait till next December a double meal?
You could double the wait until Nate came back from
his search and then everyone we need another Indian lunch.
Should I cancel my workout today for an Indian if

(14:20):
you want, we have we have famous Indian line one
day to the Indian. I love Indian food. You go today,
don't cancel your workout. Don't cancel your workout. You'll see lunch.
Why are you trying to cancel my workout? Trying to
keep me from canceling. By the way, if you really
truly want to live like a true Frenchman. You should

(14:42):
be able to have an omelet for dinner as well,
because omelets are on the menu morning, noon, tonight in France.
Is a creep an omelet. Shut that one down right now.
It's not fifteen minute morning show off.