252 - Pet Names - 5/23/18

We call out Nate for his "pet name" that his girlfriend calls him. Plus we talk about flirting and keeping things sexy in a relationship.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Elvis Presents show Around the table. There's Scary Jones,
there's Dave Brodie, Greg T, the frat boy guys, there's Garrett.
They're straight name and we're missing Danielle. It's a sausage

(00:25):
fest for now. Again, some sausages larger than others. Yes,
you looking at me for I don't know. I don't
have a very big sausage. I do. I think Garrett died.
Do we're doing a vote, Danielle, you're just in time.
Who do you think in the room has the largest sausage?
The largest sausage in the room. Let me look around.
The rumor has always been the Garrett head of it. Yeah,

(00:46):
I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm owning it. No. As
a matter of fact, one time we were in the
Bahamas or something and someone on the show saw you
in the locker room and they said it was it
was very very I believe it was Stephen Levine, but
yet it wasn't. It was Dave Brodie. Dave Brodie, it
was you. You said that Garrett had a large one.

(01:08):
I do recall seeing it. Yes, can we talk about
who we think has the smallest one that's obvious. Well, tea.
We've seen, so we kind of it. I'd say it's tea.
I don't. I don't think it's mine, but is very small.
I've never said that. You kind of allude to that.
I've never heard. I've never heard. I think he's alluded

(01:29):
to it. You know, I don't ever discuss anything. Here's
the thing about Nate. Nate always says his is tiny,
and in my experience, guys who say that usually are
hiding the fact that it's not. I'm just saying it
makes me happy. Oh my gosh, he seriously. We got

(01:52):
to discuss this the other day when we were broadcasting
live from Eden Rock a dysfunctional family vacation his everyone
heard Heather, his girlfriend, say do you want something to
eat my smushies and then fed him him. Okay, well
there is an issue about There is an issue going
on with Nate and his girlfriend about how he is

(02:15):
convinced she is trying to make him gain weight. Oh yeah, yeah,
maybe we can talk about this song. We should talk
about it on the big show. I think, well, it's
it's going both ways and I'm being fat blamed for
her gaining weight now Yeah, so it's not fat shaming.
It's fat blaming because she's put on some weight and
she says it's because of my diet that's causing her

(02:36):
to eat like that and to gain weight. Funny when
you're in a relationship and you get blamed on something
that they have full control of. Yeah. The thing is
when you're in a relationship, you have regular nights that
you probably go out to eat. And when you know,
eating at a restaurant, you're eating butter and salt. No
you're not, You're you're deciding to eat butter right for
you gaining weight? But also his girlfriend cooks a lot,

(02:57):
so I know that she cooks for him, so he's
very comfortable and he eats a can you write it
on the list, big sho? Can we talk about the pumpkins?
What do you call her? What do you call your girlfriend?
I actually don't have a nickname for her, which bothers here?
But I'll tell you what vote now, tell us what
you think Nate should call his girlfriend? What do you
call Sheldon? Unlucky? Bay, b a y And it's not

(03:19):
because Bay what everybody called When we started dating, there
was a show on TV called Party of five. He
reminds me of one of the characters on the show Bailey,
and that was Bay was his nickname, So he's always
been Bay to me. So that's how it was the original,
before Bay was Bay, before Bay was Brody. Does your
wife call you anything else than an asshole? I mean?

(03:43):
Does she call you Dave or David? David? What do
you call her? Um? White? Usually it's followed a preface
with please, No, I just call her mau short for Melissa. Yeah.
I don't have a pooky smooky name. Alex and I
have interesting name for each other. He calls me Elvis.
I call him Alex. He calls me sometimes he does

(04:05):
call you. I've heard him. Do that know? What about
you guys? It's scary. No, Robin and I did not
have names for each other, but Lucky he calls. But
I can understand the whole baby talk thing that Nate
gets into. What about you guys? Ali and I when
we first started dating, it was mush We're both mush uh,
and now it's I call her al uh and uh,

(04:27):
I'm just I'm mush m What about you? No, Trish
and I. If I do that, she's gonna go. Why
are you talking about, like, why do you do that?
If you wanted to give your wife a name right now,
here's the opportunity. What would you call her? Oh? You know,
I don't know, farty party, something like that. I don't
know something. I will tell you. There are times Alex

(04:50):
calls me something and I don't like it at all.
Let's see if he answers and I've told him to stop. No, Hello, Hey,
how are you wait? Let me call you from the ziphone.
I just got a quick question and we all hang up. Mr.
What is it you call me as a nickname that

(05:10):
I really hate? And I wish you would stop calling
me daddy? Yeah, when you call me, I'm gonna hang
up now, thank you. Phone. His cell phone doesn't always
work well. Okay, So when we're hanging out with Max,

(05:31):
our dog, you know Max, we're Max's daddy's so I'll
go Max, you know, Daddy's gonna make you lunch now whatever.
So then he started calling me big daddy, and I
kept saying, no, I'm not your daddy, and I'm not
a daddy, I'm not a bear, I'm none of those
things used to No. I lost Now is Alex little daddy?

(05:53):
He thinks he's know he he's fun daddy, just big
and he's fun. Yeah, I'm big daddy. He's fun daddy.
I don't like. I don't like these these you call
him fun daddy. No. I think it might be your fault, though,
because you've told us to call you big daddy. You
on the air, you'll go big. But when your boyfriend
calls you that, it's kind of creepy because I don't

(06:14):
want I don't want anyone. What about what about Zaddie?
People call zaddy? I heard your Ritza calling guys an
older attractive men zaddy for some reason. I don't know.
It's it's a thing, you know, I'm not. I'm not daddy.
You're not gonna be my daddie. You can call me
rather than daddy, call me Debbie. Why did you do Dallas?

(06:36):
I don't know. It just sounds like he did. We
call you big mama one day. Yeah, you call me everything.
When Heather cooks for you and you're gaining weight, does
does she do the airplane with the spoon when she feeds?
You know, I don't need any help of that. Okay, Yeah,
we have fading. We do feed each other though, I
can see that. It's usually dessert, or we'll buy two
dishes that we want to share and then we'll just
spoon each other. Do you guys naked? Yeah? Yeah, I

(07:00):
as you have. Yeah you can if you're jealous or
have you just disgusted? No, no, I'm not. I'm trying
to remember the days when that that kind of stuff
went on. The same thing. I'm not even kidding. I'm
like home on everyone's talking at the same time. What
I don't want to hear this The fact that I
cook naked with my girlfriend. I really enjoy that. I

(07:21):
look forward to it at night. The fact that you
say and look at me with that face and say, oh,
it's gonna end. It will not last. There's no way
it doesn't happen that way. You start off like that
and it's great and you're like so in love, and
then like all of a sudden, one day it's kind
of different. You walk in, you go, schooky, I'm home
from work, and she says shut up, or like if

(07:42):
she's naked, you go, you put. I don't want to
see Okay, guys, just because both of you are married
and miserable. Yeah you know what, Okay, hold on a second.
Let's talk to Garrett now, Garrett, and we'll talk to
Danielle as well. You've been married Garrett for how long?
Five years this June? Five years? And you have two kids,
You've got a dog. I mean, you have a very busy,
active household. Correct, don't you guys still do fun things

(08:03):
that are romantic a hundred percent? Last night we went
out to a rose tasting. Tonight we're going to see
Frozen on Broadway. You can still see through your social
media at least you guys are still into each other.
I mean, you got kids, but you have your own
lives as a couple as well, and just as great
Tea and Brody. We're just saying I I've heard it
from them, so I find I have to fight against it.
I don't allow that to happen because of them. That's

(08:26):
you know what, that's actually great motivation to not turn
into that. What about you, daniel You've been married to
Sheldon for how long? Along to we got in two
thousand three, so we've been taking you know, we've been
together twenty something years and he works his ass off.
You work your ass off, and you have two kids
and a get go Yes, and beat a dragon whatever.
It's not always easy, but we do when we try

(08:47):
very hard. And even last night, like I was standing
by the sink and I was so disheveled making My
hair is a mess and my clothes are mess. And
he looks at me and he goes, stop standing. They're
all sassy. What are you thinking? And I looked at
him and I gave him a hawk, and I go
the fact that you still think I look sassy? Right now?
That's why you still flirt. You still flirt with each other,
By Brody, you in great to do you guys flirt

(09:08):
with your wives anymore? Oh it's a waste of time.
But I do try. I try to flirt all the time.
I don't know what I think. Garrett gave us the
most important advice that I've heard today. You sometimes you
gotta fight it. You gotta fight that urge to get
We fight it, fight it because you get too comfortable

(09:28):
in a relationship. So everyone still want today, Brody, when
Melissa's cooking dinner in the kitchen, go take your clothes
off and stand next to the lots of leftovers. Everyone serious,
I don't I just don't like you. Looking at Nate
and saying this is all going to end, bro though

(09:48):
it's there's no way that they're going to stay that
exact way, but it will evolve and will evolve into
other point. You're gonna be forty forty mill years old, smushy,
and that's gonna because you have fat love handles. Because
that's right, you're the most bitter husband. I'm a realist

(10:13):
that dude. I was. I was dating when I was
at some point my life. I remember, but yes, it
was like that fooling around in the car side of
the road to full off in the movie theater around
My wife and I have have the seat between us
at the movie theater like two guys used to do
some space. It's right, alright, Well, so my my hope

(10:38):
for you straight you and your girlfriend continue to to
flirt and cooking naked. Everyone deserves that kind of like
you know, it's scary. Do you and Robin do that?
Do you? We do baby talk a little bit. You do.
Let me hear it, like I'm like, okay, good night,
Like I'm fat. She goes me too, cute little like

(11:02):
things that we do. I don't know, I'm fat meat too.
We always do that. We we talked about you put
her in an uberan center hall. You know. I will
tell you there was that one time in Miami were
Scary didn't even know Robin yet, and he was Remember
when you brought that girl back to the room. Remember that,

(11:22):
and we were sharing the room and you were talking
baby talk to her. Didn't you sleep in my bathtub?
That's yeah, yeah I did. And Scary was talking to
baby talk to her. He was going, she was six,
You were talking baby talk to her. Yeah, that was
how it was. Okay, that was not a good a
good weekend. It was like we had this private bush

(11:44):
that we are that yeah, something like you brought her
home anyway. Anyway, I just I wanted everyone to keep flirting,
like like Garrett said, just keep fighting it fight fight
the urge to not flirt. Speaking of fighting an urge,
you mentioned the private bus. Danielle fell asleep with her
head in my lap for like two hours and that

(12:05):
private bus and I had to fight the urge. Believe me,
Oh my god, that is just not us. Like a
massage every time we hit a bump, I'm like pills
a little lumpy. I never knew that, you know, she
sleeps in her mouth open on planes. It's the same, okay,

(12:27):
But to be fair, you do we have pictures of
you every time you fall asleep on planes, trains and
an automobiles. You your mouth is wide. It's a narrow trade.
The whole family does. That's great though. You're the perfect
person to actually play pranks on when you go to sleep.
That mustache, we drew that on alright, So look, you

(12:48):
know what I never knew that about. I mean, do
we have other secret stories about each other from trips
and from because you know, we all have our we
all have had our moments throughout the years where we've
done things where we assume the other don't know. Um,
does anyone in this room know about one of us
doing something that we think is still a secret? Someone
absolutely what I'm talking about, Um, several years ago. I'm

(13:11):
going back to like beaches basketball, like back in the like.
I met someone on the trip and I found out
after we hooked up that she was engaged. So that
was the last time I saw her. We never knew
that she was Yeah, but do we that was a
secret about himself. He's killing you wanted that great tea
is very I'm going back, way back in the bathroom

(13:31):
and did lollipopy with that girl. There was a men's
room was here at the station? Yeah? Uh no. My
question was, does anyone in this room know a secret
about someone else in this room? Because I don't know? Yeah,
do you? I know a lot of secrets about Scary,
but I really absolutely cannot tell no, no, no, But

(13:54):
but he has shared many things with me to make
my eyespot out of my head. We know each other
twenty two years. I know, we've all known each other
twenty two years. Right, So then then we go way
back we should at this point, I have a lot
of stuff on all of this. I don't have any
dirt on Danielle. No, and kind of clean though I
don't really I've never really done anything. And I've been
with my husband for something, right, I know, but I've
been in an out room of relationship. Does anyone know

(14:16):
any secrets about me? Oh? I do you do? Can
you talk about it? I can't talk about it. You
can't you know the story that none of us know.
I know I know something that you told me that
I will never repeat. Oh, I've told see that's senates
my work husband, So I've told him I've told him
notice celebrity that you had sex with. I think he does.

(14:37):
I think you do. I don't understand what a twenty
years he walks in the door and because he's hot, No,
read the book. Time to get a three way? You
want to get into that way? Fifteen minute morning show