Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
For what would you talk about on your on your
podcast Firms Represents well show you know what after the
Friday show, we're all from vacation for a whole week.
Oh yeah, and then, uh, look, a lot of people
(00:22):
give us hell about taking vacations. Stop, we're taking it.
We need it, you need it, we all need it.
We're taking vacation. But we'll come back all refreshed and
tanned and looking fine. And I think a lot of
people don't realize that. You know what we do. There
was like, oh, what you do is fun. It is fun,
but at the same time, the hours are what really
dragged you down, and you need two sleep sometimes and
(00:45):
just we vitalize, is that right? Yeah, that's cool, I
mean reach hard. Yeah, we got a recharge around the
table for your fifty minute morning show podcast. They're scary.
There's Dave Brody, there's Garrett, there's Danielle straight name, and
it was truly el So. Yeah, we are sleep deprived.
We all are. You go on vacation, I go into
(01:07):
such a sleep, deep a deep sleep. I wet the bed.
I've told you this story before. You haven't wet the bed.
I haven't heard your story. The bed wind. Okay, third base,
I don't want to tell it because it's in the book. Wait,
(01:30):
I'm writing a book. Can I tell this? You've he's
been saying things like, oh my god, this story blah
blah blah blah blah. And he starts to tell this story.
Go oh, well, what's the rest? Have to buy the
book by the book? You holding back on content? Well,
keep in mind there's a lot of stuff that's not
going to make the book, but it might make the book.
So I don't know. I don't know what's gonna make
it or not, So I don't want to say anything
(01:50):
about anything. So you want an exclusive for the book,
like the bed wedding story is in the book if
you want it exactly. Wow, I'm not going to buy
the book to hear the bed wedding story. I know
there's more to the book. Okay, Look, I've never I've
never written a book before, but now I'm learning, at
least from the people i'm working with, how to write
(02:11):
a book. So you come up with all these different stories,
and eventually they write them, and then they figure out
what's going to go in the book. There's an editor
that edits and then it goes into the book. Are
you going to voice the audiobook? Oh? Absolutely, Oh yeah,
of course I would. I would voice my own audio. No,
you need Morgan Freeman do your that would be awesome.
But we get like a free copy of the Also,
(02:33):
is there anything in the book that I will sue
you for? I don't know yet. Are you going to
add commentary in the audio version? Like, Oh, here's a
fabulous story I'm gonna tell you now, like set up again.
I don't know how it works. This is all brand
new to me. I've never written a book. You say that,
but I feel like you've already written it because you
have all these stories. Now you're not telling us. No,
here's the thing. You have to collect all your stories.
Think about your life and what stories you would put
(02:54):
in your book, and and and all the stories have
like an arch that actually leads you to a place
at the end of the book. It's like, oh, here's
what all these stories mean as they come together, and
that's the end. That's the ind of your book. So
you think about all the stories you're gonna use. Well,
you know, you may have a billion stories and only
able to fit three into an entire book. That's how
(03:16):
it's worked. I figured out the perfect tease for your book. Okay,
what's that? Once a week you start telling a story
and then you stop right when everybody's on the edge
of their seat, and you say, all right, you want
to hear the rest by the book, by the book,
But the book's got to be out. You're a year
away from getting this thing on the bookshelves. It's not
going to be out until fall of You can't tease
(03:36):
stories now and say a year and a half from
now you'll get the punk. Okay, Well, the bed wedding story,
it happened to me fifteen or ten years ago. Years
to hear its already an old story involve somebody jamming
your hand in a bucket of warm water while you
were asleep with someone else in the Yes, sy on
(03:58):
the end, I have told it, but let's just move
on in Russia. Now you have to buy the book.
You were you drunk? No, you weren't drunk. I'm not
answering any questions. I'm sorry. I'm not going to talk
about the book or anything in the book ever. Again.
We're rang for your pants and will my chapter in
the book have lots of pages? Is everybody going to
(04:21):
be in the book. Are you going to phonetically spell
stupid when you're talking about daniel And are you changing
names to protect the not so innocent? You'll see when
you get the book. You're gonna give me a shot out, Elvis.
Can't we just move on? Yes, you're in the book.
You everyone in this room is in the book. Okay,
moving on? Are you getting people asking you if they're
going to be in the book. You know they're not
(04:41):
going to be in the book. It's exhausting, No, but
I did. Here's my favorite thing to do. If I'm
hanging out with a friend and they do something really stupid,
I'm like, ah, there's another chapter and they look at
me like what I'm just kidding? Can be talking about something? Yes,
question scary. Danielle and I will be in a lot
more of the book than other people, right because we've
been a longer. Can we please move on to something else?
Like Nate gets a paragraph. I don't know, at least
(05:03):
a page. It's gonna be a year before child, I
don't know. Can we please move on to I'm walking
out the door. If you're not talking about I want
to read the book now? Forget it. We talked about Fine,
I don't know what you read my books. Now I'm
going to write a book to retort yours. Right, we're
gonna have to write rebuttal books, the real story. That's right.
(05:23):
You go right ahead. That's not what I said. You
do that, honey? All right? What else you want to
talk about? So let's talk about party. So next week,
we're on vacation, like you were saying. So I can't
take off because my kids are not off from school.
So I'm basically having a station. I'm going to get
a lot of things done that normally I can't do good.
(05:44):
But Brody is going away by himself because his wife
and kids are kicking him out of the house. Actually,
they don't want me sitting around the house when they
come home. I'm sitting there. They go, they leave, I'm
sitting there. Yeah, I agree, and I think it's great.
You're going up. Now. Have you ever gone on a
vacation by yourself? No? Why don't you go with Scary
someplace myself. I'm gonna be in Miami and can't cool
(06:05):
come come to both? Okay, first of all, you know
what his trip is like. It's red red velvet ropes
and bottles and models. That's not my scene. What are
you gonna do? Can you tell us or is it
a secret tape? Well, I'm thinking about going out to
the Poconos maybe for a couple of days, or a
nice calm like ski resort type place. When you do that,
I can do that, like just sit and relax, you know,
on a maybe get like a one with like a
(06:26):
hot tub on a deck outside where it's cold but
you're hot, with the champagne glass just for you, heart shaped.
This is how hot tip time machine started. That's it.
May drive to Boston for a couple of days, see
some of our old radio friends. Maybe that's cool. Yeah,
that sounds like a great vacation. Yeah, stuff like that,
stuff that I haven't been able to do because I
know you don't have the time. So I'm gonna try
to do a bunch of those little things. Now, are
you a little apprehensive about being on your own for
(06:48):
such a long long period. No, the truth is I'm
apprehensive about spending all that money on just myself. Like
to be honest, I'm looking at well, I go hotel
rooms like one fifty. If I had five people, there
would seem like a better investment. I feel guilty, be honest,
I feel guilty about spending all the money on just me.
Well you deserve it. I do deserve it, but I
feel guilty about it. So I have to get over that.
(07:10):
So the opposite of Brodie, I'm so selfish, I'll like
to spend every less penny on me. You don't have
kids in a wife kit, so how can you even
say that? But even people with with with families, you
know you have to indulge. Sometimes you indulge all the time. Danielle. Yeah,
but but as long as I know I can feed
my kids and they come first, like and whatever's extras
what you know, that's why the kid thinks not gonna
(07:30):
work out for me. Okay, well, thanks for spending money
on me. What about you, Garrett? Where do you you
have two little kids, a dog and a beautiful wife. Well,
our daughter kind of screwed up our vacation plans in
this sense, a selfish little girl. Well, Ali was supposed
to have Madison a few days ago. That was her
scheduled date, and we had to bump it up for
(07:52):
for medical reasons. So I was about to have two
weeks off from the show being this week and next week,
so now I just have one week off. So but
we're I'm going to stay home do things. Everything that
I can't do because I'm here at work, I'll be
able to do next want to go to the Poconos
(08:13):
Champagne glass bath. That sounds awesome. What are you doing, Elvis?
I'm going to an island, Staten Island. I'm going to
Turks and Caicos. I'll be in Turks. It's the most
beautiful islands there's there's several, there's more than two, but
there's the Turks Islands in the Cacos Islands. I thought
(08:34):
it was like Trinidad and Tobago. Just you land in Providenciales,
that's where you land. That's the that's Turks, that's Grand
Turk Island. I believe like that. I didn't know that.
Grace Bay is the big beautiful beach there. But we're
going to a resort that's way out in the middle
of nowhere. Is that where you saw Mark Zuckerberg at
that time? Yes, yeah, he was walking on the beach
(08:54):
with his Did you like him? No? But I poked him. No, No,
it's it's it's it's that beach, in that water. It's
like I said on the show, it's just it's not real.
You feel like you're swimming in a cartoon. It's like
it's an animated blue It's crazy. Where are you going? Oh,
Brody is gonna be jealous because my trip is essentially free.
(09:16):
I'm going to France and Amsterdam because my girlfriend is
working in France for half of the week and then
she has to go to the Netherlands for the next
three days. So you only pay for airfare. I pay
and I cashed in points. My whole trip is twenty
three and seven. That's awesome that it's so great a girlfriend.
(09:39):
Maybe it's in the hot tub you'll meet one. You know,
a lot of people sit on their points. Like after
a while, you look on your visa, car, whatever you have.
You have all these points, accrude and you just don't
use them, use those, you know. My my American Express
is linked to Amazon. I don't, I don't. I don't
pay money anymore. It's just it's all points out of
(10:01):
my American getting American Express card so I can link
to not while you're in Lint, can my master you're right,
can my Master card linked to ms. I don't know.
Maybe I don't know how it works, but you know what,
do you know anyone or or are you a point hoarder?
I heard them until my mother in law comes to
see us every two years, so we will use that
to buy her plane ticket here from the UK of
(10:23):
France wherever she is, and then that's honestly, that's probably
one of the only times we use the damp points
I know. But it's what a great payoff, I know,
it really is. See, when I was a kid, I
don't know if you've ever heard of these, they had
this concept at grocery stores called s n H Green Stamps.
Have you ever heard of this? So let's say you
go to the grocery store, you buy dinner for your family.
Let's say it's like a fifteen dollars okay. Uh. They
(10:45):
had this thing about the cash register and all these
little stamps. They would put fifteen into it. All these
little stamps will come out and you would you would
lick them and paste them in these little books. And
when the books are full of stamps, there's a there's
a value to them. You go to the s n H.
Green Stamp store and you can buy things like uh,
tape recorders and baseball bats and just everything no demand,
(11:05):
mosquito repellent, you know whatever exactly. That was like the
that's the old school original points system, and it was
huge and it was a massive, massive industry way back
in the day. But now we have these points and
before you know it, you accrue all these points. You're like, hey,
have you heard of that credit card you use or
(11:25):
whatever where it Let's say you buy something from fourteen
dollars in fifty cents, it'll round it up to fifty
cents and it will put that money in an account
for you, and it all adds up. What credit card
is that it's the cash back card or something like
something like that, or actually it's an app you can
get for your phone. Up there's apps and then there's
(11:46):
also credit cards that do that for you. It's like
a sneaky little way to save save money. Then you
look before you know, you look down you have you
have a couple of hundred dollars. Just spent a dollar
on his trip not oh my god, it's fantastic. So
I mean, do you use your points or do you
just let them sit? Know, Daniel uses hers my my
points on my credit card. I wait for like two
three years, and then I buy a whole new wardrobe.
(12:08):
I get this crazy, crazy gift card. I go to
some store and I buy all this stuff and I'm like,
oh my god, that shopping spree was free. It's been
about three years since you've done that. What are you
trying to say about, sir, Is that your members only Jack? Yeah,
(12:34):
that's how. That's how you really catalist. You go to
the sale rack of the store. You want to go
to the the department store. Then you're like really cashing
out on those points. Well, the thing is said he
had that shirt on one day, and you said it's scary.
Just because it has Kenneth Cole on it doesn't mean it.
I learned that from you, Elvis. By the way, Cole
is not ko l E. Well okay, so there you have.
(13:00):
So that's what I like about this fifteen minute morning
show thing. It has a whole different pace, a whole
different tempo than the other show. This is and we're
running this on the Big Show right now, so it
is so this is a podcast form and on Big Show.
Oh so look, this is the fifteen minute morning show podcast.
If you're hearing it on our show show, the show
of shows. You can listen to this and every day
we do a fifteen minute morning show podcast and you know,
(13:20):
different people come in and out. In fact, I gotta
leave early, you guys continue even a minute and a
half to go. And that's the way that show works too.
Or this show? Which show are we talking about? We're
talking about its very inception, right, this is the show
you don't tell of us to go to commercial exactly. Oh,
he's up against the CLOTHO. Hold on a second. If
you're hearing us on the big show, they never hear
you walk out on the Big show. He just walked out.
(13:41):
That's what makes this different. Wait, do you remember when
he used to do that. He used to have a
thing where it was we would have a contest on
there who who can leave fastest on the weekend? Remember,
and so Elvis during a break with back room and
all of a sudden he wouldn't come back, and Scary
would be like, where the hell are the he cast
from its car? I win? Yeah, it was the first one.
(14:04):
And then one time he just he said, Scary, because
I'll take me to Brooklyn. I need something. So we
so at seven o'clock in the morning. We just left
the radio station, didn't tell anyone. And then other people,
I think Gregg t was running the board. Danielle you
were there, and and Elvis and I were checking in
from a car. Oh my god, I wish I could
find this audio. He just left the whole morning and
Elvis was broadcasting from a cell phone from a cell
(14:27):
phone in my car as I'm driving into Brooklyn and
we're going in and out of all these delis and
all these places. I remember it vividly. I'm like, but
you can do that as the And this is when
the show first started. I said, you could do that
as the host of the show. He goes, I could
do anything I want, and right the whole show was broadcasting.
Do that, like I'll call from the Bronx and I'll
go to all my old haunts. We'll get right there,
(14:54):
all right, minute Morning Show