120 - T's Text - 10/3/17

We do a dramatic reading of Greg T's text messages

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Elvis Presents Morning Show. Make it stop? Okay, guys, my
phone is going off like crazy. Somebody added me to

(00:23):
a group text and there must have been about nine
people in this freaking thing, and my phone has to
stop vibrating. In the last seven minutes, it's been non stopped.
But the problem is the subject matter is a little
serious because our friend is recovering in the hospital. So
I don't want to know totally no no no no, no,
all I get I just totally called that wrong. No no, no, no, no,

(00:46):
no no no no. See, here's the problem. It's kind
of it's a dilemma. A front of ours are recovering
in the hospital, and then everyone is tracking the progress
from surgery. Yeah, and everyone is in there saying, Siri
use things about how he's recovering because it was a
very serious surgery. Oh my god, I'm glad he's okay,
Thanks for the update. Will you fillish in later. The

(01:08):
problem is I don't want to be the dick to
leave the conversation because then it looks like I didn't care.
You see what I'm saying. Don't give a ship, you know, well,
what you can say is, you know what, guys, sorry,
I have to mute this for a second because I'm
at work and my phone keeps buzzing. But they should
know that already, right, well they but they clearly don't.
So tell them and then leave the conversation. You know
what I'm saying. Why do you get this is an issue?

(01:32):
That is I feel bad for you do right, I'm
kind of stuck with this now a terrible person, because
I wouldn't feel guilty leaving that conversation if you tell them, like, hey, guys,
I'm so glad to hear so, and so I have
to jump back into this later. It's just buzzing a
lot at work. You work in the audio medium. But look,
then they'll never include me in on texts. I have

(01:53):
a question. I'm not an iPhone user, so can you
can you manually take yourself out of the conversation? You
can take yourself out? But then they see that, like
and then there were six, It will say scary Jones
removed himself. Oh yeah, glad, I have an android. You
know what I do? All? Uh? All, what do they
call it? Mute the conversations? Doesn't? Doesn't that also show

(02:16):
up or now, I don't think so, because that's what
I do for any text involving Greg t I'm not
even kidding he does now if he's listening, which I
know he won't, but um no, it's do not disturb
feature because you know how Greg Tea is. When he
starts texting you, it will be a string of texts.

(02:37):
But that should be by the way. They should be emails.
They they're they're five pages long, and he says, nobody
reads emails. I don't want to email, but but you
can't put an email length text in a But what
he'll do is one word for each word message, right,
It's like, bro, this is funny. You gotta check this out.

(02:59):
He hit this send key like I'm not defending him,
but I can. I can reason why he sends so
many text messages because the text on his screen is
like a font of twenty is like a twenty font,
So on his phone it looks like he's sending a
small message when he's typing it, but in reality, he's
sending several thousands. To play here, he's trying to get

(03:21):
Nate's attention because aside from that, yeah, with an eye
message for iPhones. If you just put your thoughts into
one and hit send, your phone only goes off once
or chances are right. But if you if you decide
to to to put like one word at a time,
it's that's a vibrate with every time you hit that
enter button. Here's okay, here's the lights, here's the less string.

(03:42):
Say in the way that he wrote it, we're trying
to arrange. We were trying to arrange. Actually give me
the bell, yeah, hear me something after text ends every
time the text came in. Yeah, ready, alright, here we go.
So this we were trying to arrange a call in
on the show. I say, call in? What else would

(04:04):
you need? Okay, here's the next one. I can go
or stay or whatever. It's up to you, guys. If
you want someone, I need a bit more of a
timeline and then I can set it up. Hold on.

(04:29):
They It may be that he can't think that far ahead.
He hasn't actually thought of the next two words, and
there's not a lot of room in there. So he
gets the two words out, thinks about the next thing,
and then Texas he's he's trying to badger you. Absolutely,
I called talk to Casey, he is in love with

(04:53):
my idea. We'll get back to you. I have a
list of stations. He all, I mean this is seriously,
It's like he's reading off a teleprompter that isn't moving quickly.
Here's what give me the bell a string from this morning? Uh?
He goes, all right, American Girl, Play American Girl, the

(05:18):
Tom Petty song. Everyone knows. I said, I know, t
I just pointed to it. This nose, it's there. Play it. Oh,
I'm I'm your girls must ask him again? Yeah, text time,

(05:43):
I want the bell next day. This is actually from
a really long time ago. But he texted me, do
you remember when I used to endorse compete It was
like those callous things that amazing. They're so good and
they don't even pay me to say that. They used to,
but they don't because I use them anyway, it doesn't matter.
But he tried them and then he texted me. Did

(06:07):
he have a greg gasm over text? He dead? He said,
oh m G O MG. Seriously, Bethany, oh MG, I
just tried those things, those things you said about on
the air for my feet. I was running, I was
running and I have a callous It was incredible. O MG.
I'm not even just saying that because you endorsed them.

(06:28):
These things are amazing. These things are serious. I know
you think I'm nuts, but these are really amazing. Reply, okay, text,

(06:49):
I replied to it. I replied to a tweet, and
he didn't apparently think that he's coming. By the way,
he didn't think the tweet was a real person, Brody,
did you see it? The tweet? The tweet I'm talking
about is the one you replied to. You said something
important to them, But I don't think they're real. I
think that's a doll. By doll, I mean robot. You

(07:10):
know what a robot is, right, Brody, This person I
don't believe. I don't believe that real. I think it's
a bot. A bot is somebody that isn't real. On Twitter.
You replied to them. That's the tweet I'm talking about.
Here's a screenshot up the tweet I'm talking about. See
I think I said doll. But all right, So this

(07:36):
is this is Friday night. Greg t is coming home
from an appearance on so he takes the boat from
his appearance back to his house. So he was just
texting me and he goes what up, bro, I go,
I'm on your boat? Where what the fund? For real?

(07:57):
Where are you? Tell me where you are? I'm looking
for you. Are you seriously on my boat? I'm on
the other side of the river right now, going going
to Jersey. He goes, Oh, I was gonna look for you.
Ha ha ha. Golf you me, Tommy, please hit me up.

(08:21):
We're talking about what to do for Elvis's birthday. I'm
glad I save alright, righty, this is great bearing mind.
No response for me. Oh, bringing a cake? My cake
will suck. Then Bobby will come in, Bobby Flay, alright,

(08:45):
t Bobby will say, move out of the way. Incomes Bobby,
Bobby Flay with his great cake. Good idea. I will
walk in. My cake will suck. Bobby will say what
is this cake? Elvis will say, this cake sucks? Give

(09:09):
me another one, Brodie, Did you listen to it yet?
Listen to what That radio station, The Boss, The one
I told you about, the one I told you about
playing all the bands I know you like. They play
you too, def Leppard, White Snake, Kiss, Iron Maiden. That

(09:31):
station you like, bro, you gotta listen to it. It's
called the Boss. You might not be able to get
it where you live because of the signal. Dude, listen
to it and let me know. Did you listen? Did
you like it? Did you hear it? Bro? You gotta
listen to the Boss. They play everything you like. Hit
me up when you hear it. You know, if this

(09:54):
was still a world where you paid pertext would be
by one. On today's show, Elma asked everyone a question
who gets talked about the most when they're not in
the room. This is from we had our summer bash
and it was Gregg T and I and we were
left to close the show, right, So I said, hey, T,
me and you have to close the show where you at?

(10:15):
And he goes, for real, I'm coming. Hold on, I'm backstage, Hello,
back stage? Where are you? Hello? For real? And then
the next three from them that following morning, hann cheese
on a roll please and a bag order the fucking breakfast.

(10:38):
I beg that that was obviously continued on the next
morning when we were breakfast off the air. But we
all love them though. Hilarious guys. I think eleven minutes
is perfect. Eleven minutes out of Danielle, Danielle, Hurry, hurry,

(11:02):
before Gregg gets in here string of text messages from
Greg T where you don't reply, you don't respond, and
it's just like a sea of text messages where he
has individual thoughts or even individual words per text because
he can't string a SENTI did somebody do an example
for her? Because she hasn't been paying attention. So let

(11:24):
me see if I can find one. Here. You every
time he texts you hit the bell and then then
to the next text, and then he says like, Hi, Danielle,
what are you up to? Yeah, give the rollback, scroll
back as far as you can. Ye, I'll do one.
I'll do an example the bell. So we were talking
about Greg T going to Uncle Johnny's to surprise him. Okay,

(11:50):
got you, that's the plan. I will knock on door.
Uncle Johnny will ask who is it, then he will
unlock door. Does he recognize me? Does he know I'm there?
Do I know it's Uncle Johnny's place? All with no
response from me. That was all in a row. Yeah,

(12:11):
I guess what I hold on, hold on, hold on,
there's gotta be there. Sometimes when you're away from your
phone and he just goes off. Okay, hit the belly. Ready, Ready,
I do it. Get off my bleep I'm Dunkin Donuts,
Greg bleep in tan, I hate you. Get off my

(12:34):
Dunking Donuts account. I do that, I do, I do,
I didn't get off. What is well coming up here?
Please stop? And just I mentioned helluch, I love Dunkin
Donuts on the air or something that I had gone

(12:54):
in together. I think it was their new peach tea
or something, and he thought I was trying to steal
his account. I didn't even know he did. He does
the commercials. No, I was just telling I really went
in there and I loved the tea. And he freaked
out on me. Don't saying, oh my god, I am spent.

(13:16):
You know a twelve minutes ago, we didn't know what
we're gonna talk about. Apparently, all you gotta do is
a thread with great tea and you gotta hope and show.
I needed that. I've been stressed out this morning. Producer
Sam just texted me and said, my my boobs have
the perfect amount of bounds today and that also made
my day. She said, oh, hand me the bell. Producer

(13:40):
Sam texted this is she texted me during the show.
But I can't always get back to her because it's
the show. She says that office quote. Yes, I'm smiling
so big. By the way, I haven't meeting to tell
you something. Don't take this the wrong way. But your
boobs they have the perfect amount of bounds today. I
hope you don't take that the wrong way. And I said,
ha ha, I'm right. So she writes that way too. Yeah,
I forgot yesterday. Yeah. Sam does that all the time. Sam.

(14:03):
Sam is good with pressing you on like how you
feel during the day. Like she'll tell you your ass
looks great? Jaboob's look great? Can I come grab you?
It really makes you feel cook. Okay, So yesterday Tom
Petty died, but he hadn't been dead yet, and so
people weren't sure if he was dead. He was brain dead.
This is t Tom Petty may not be dead. It's
on Twitter. No for real, he's not dead. Ha ha

(14:25):
for real ha No dead or not? Brody? Is he
dead or not? For real? Is he dead or not?
I'm counting on you. So is he alive? Unreal? What
a day? Is he dead? I'm dead? Is he dead?
People are asking should I download his music? I don't
know if he's dead? Oh my God, I'm gonna listen

(14:53):
to this one. I'm just don't tell what we're talking about.
Fifteen minute morning show