Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcasts?
Show tell everybody what they won't be hearing on this
podcast everyone else. But who are you about to hear?
I'll tell you. Let me just tell you what you're
not gonna hear. You're not gonna hear Brody ranting about
(00:24):
something today. All right. So if you if you're a
normal listener of this podcast, and you you listen as
soon as we post it, we're a little late and
posting it today for for those that listen right on
the spot. So we do apologize for that with that. Yeah,
we have a people in the room. We're garried over there.
I'm scary. You have web girl Kathleen joining us and Jake.
(00:48):
Hello and your Ritza. Jake? Why did you close to
beat team? No? I didn't call you call your ritz
and I be team because you said you said to us,
oh nobody's here. Do you guys want to stay? We
were like this, I'm Kathleen. You're actually like some people
who don't get the first wave of invitation to the wedding,
Like we're having a party. We're having a party, but
(01:09):
people that I wanted to come can't make it. So
can you guys. Come, you're the guys that sick And
though you're sit in the back of the restaurant on
a Friday night, did you say you put us in
the back of nott th h I don't know how
to taught right now, man, so no, but but seriously,
you guys don't, like, you know, belittle yourselves like that.
(01:31):
Don't be kind of setting to you. I guess we're
the B team. We're gonna do this is the same team.
This is Jake's problem when it comes to his love
for life. He always thinks he's like seconds, I have
something to reveal to Jake about his love life, about
my love got plenty of time. Your ex girlfriend is
keeping tabs on you by watching and liking everything that
(01:55):
Elvis round in the morning show post. Well, I also
have spies. Could you actually back the truck up a
little bit, talk about what's going on here. I've been
single for about two months now, congratulated a thousand weeks so.
So Kathleen made an observation about the ex girlfriend who,
by the way, you broke up with her. Now Kathleen
has access to all accounts, whether it be the website.
(02:17):
She's like the FBI of the it's my dream to
fight White, call her crime with my sexual prowess and
get it done in an hour with commercials. But she
is able to see everything from people who like people
who comments a superstalker, Well, yes, I superstark our listener.
He gets paid to do it. It's a good skill
to have. So what have you noticed? Kathleen Jack's ex
(02:39):
girlfriend has been consuming everything Elvis strand, particularly the stuff
that has Jake in it. If I was in her shoes,
I would like un follow everybody on this show. Right, yeah,
I would do the same thing. But you're not in
her shoes though anymore. And she was a listener of
the show before before she which is also interesting and creepy.
(03:04):
Everything is more likely than not a listener that he
was a friend of one of our interns. She was
the cousin of a past intern the can That's how
we met. She's keeping tabs on you. Well, there's people,
though I have more to say. There's people I don't
like usually watch look at who watches my instant story.
But if you swipe up, there's like the first twenty
(03:25):
people that you can see, and there's a few people
in there that I'm like, why are they still watching me?
I'm like, I've got spies, Like she, well, she's got spies.
He's got spies on you. She has her friends looking
at your stuff. I love the fact that there there
could be a possibility. At the end of each work day,
a bunch of friends, former friends of yours, are sitting
(03:46):
around a table, all drinking let's just say, beer and
whiskey and rose and smoking cigars, discussing your Instagram story.
What did Jake do today? I have handed to Jake
because his Instagram stories and the snapchat stories are really
entertaining than really seriously, I thank you, Jake. Where can
(04:09):
we follow you? Jake the producer everywhere? Alright? Uh now
you feel good? Okay, go ahead, Scary Scary Jones everywhere,
but scary spelled s k e e r y Jones.
I thought for the longest name her name was scary too, Jake.
Now what Kathleen just said? How do you feel about that?
(04:31):
How do I feel about being watched? It doesn't bother
me that she's following the show. She doesn't follow me
on anything. It doesn't bother me that she follows the show.
I mean, she was a fan of the show beforehand, right,
I mean specifically she she doesn't watch. She doesn't watch,
you know when I revealed that I was having a
second kid or Scary at his his boost Mobile appearance,
(04:52):
he's watching videos specifically pertaining to you. Yeah, do that?
How do you feel? I don't know. It doesn't bother me,
It doesn't, all right, But but she doesn't she because
she's doing it so that she like so that I
don't know what's happening, but a little just she knows.
Kathleen's a superstalker, which I thank you for showing me
some of your skills. I feel like I'm a better
stalker now because of Kathleen. She doesn't want me to
(05:16):
know that she's watching, but I know that she is
because I know who's watching my Instagram. She cares. Still,
we'll see. I have a problem being friends with Xes. Why.
I just I find it hard to go from uh
intimate relationship to just being friends because there was so
(05:36):
much there, Like when you're in an intimate relationship, there's
so much there that you don't share with other people.
And going from that to then just being friends, it's
like it's tough. And then you've got to think about
that person with other people and it's like, I just care.
But don't you think that it's easier to have, you know,
to to be have been with someone and then your
ex your your ex and then you guys can be
(05:57):
friends again and then things are smoothed over and it's cool,
and then you got here and get it out of
your system and now it's like, you know what, that
was the penal problem. But we still like each other
genuinely as people as this happens to have like such
a passionate relationship where the end you're just throwing like
pots and pants and you're just like, I can't see
you anymore. And then they're in the hospital and you know,
like that didn't happen. What the hell? Maybe maybe for you.
(06:21):
I have a theory wise, that is not her name,
don't worry about it. That is that is her mother's name.
Jake is literally melting right now, but she's still looking
at her stuff. And I think that she was jealous
of the relationship that Jake had with Ritza. Oh, our
(06:43):
beautiful relationship, and I think she's yes, she's waiting to
see when Jake and Ritza finally get together in a
meant their boyfriend girlfriend. There's something you're not mentioning, Kathleen,
and that is I think that they're sleeping together. God
has a boyfriend have a friend? Was a good time
to announce that you Rits and I are madly in love?
Oh yeah, that's three sons between Kevin. Your sarcasm really
(07:04):
doesn't work. All right, it doesn't work. You're not good
at the sarcasm. Don't try sarcasm. I just have a
lot of female friends. I do have a boyfriend. But
I think Jake and my boyfriend are in love too,
as in just Jake's also in love with Sam's boyfriend.
So that's here. I've seen this TV show before. But
you guys are going on vacation together, Yes you are.
Next weekend. We're going to Miami her vacation together, Jake
(07:28):
and your Ritsa. Now you bringing your significant other Urritza. No,
it's like a bff trip. See what I'm saying. Now,
how does your How does your boyfriend feel about that?
He's like, oh my god, so much fun. I love Jake. Okay,
we're not. It's not like your ritz and I are
going to Florida time him alone together and like not alone.
Tell everyone why your ritz is going with you. Well,
(07:50):
we have friends that work for this company in Miami
and they are having a big event and they were like,
you guys should come, and I was like okay. It
was one of those things where I was like, yeah,
it's never actually gonna happen. You're going to Macapaloozo. Yeah,
And we looked at the flights. I didn't even know
what's called. He looked like the flights and they were
se to the guy mac whose party some friends you
down and I were just spontaneous and we're like, screw it,
(08:15):
let's just book it. And we did. No. I think
Jake invited me like your its is cool, she can
be my wing woman. I'm newly single. I can hook
up with girls, but we're sleeping probably on the same bed.
So but even I did not invite you as a
wing woman. I invite you as a fellow spontaneous friend.
But you're you're not going to say like yours to
(08:35):
come with me to Miami and be my my wing
woman because it just sounds weird. And going to Miami
to find a female companion because you already have one
and you're to have a good time, like everybody's always
pushing me. They're like, oh, are you dating it? Are
you doing this? Yeah? Like, why can't I just be emotional?
Too young to be committed to anything right now? Just scary, scary.
(09:00):
You just broke up the commission rebounding and you're going
on a vacation at the end of the summer to Miami.
Du Yeah, you have chister earlier. Duh. You know what's
going on here. You're not gonna You're not gonna meet
Mrs right, You're gonna meet miss right now. This is
right now, loking for either. I'm just trying to miss
(09:21):
right now. Maybe sitting next to you right now. Ye
keep pushing this like c baby, Kathleen likes to push
women on me that I'm not interested. I'm a pusher.
I pushed my hub is everything I think the guys
you know, didn't you realize, Kathleen, that's a little that's
a little selfish in your part because you're imparting your
(09:43):
thoughts on what you think is best for Jake based
on your what you feel loves me. But what about
he's the one who has to live in the relationship
and just trying to start drama's past now dangerous position.
Problem problem is yours as a wing man woman is
(10:07):
that people already assume they're together. And plus she's very good. Look,
I don't think people assume we're together. But but but
your rits has to do more work because not only
does she have to find you know, if you see
someone that you're you're intimidated to go up to your
it's job is to go up to that person. First,
she has to break down the wall that she's not
with you, which is hard to believe at times because
you guys are always together. Then she has to introduce
(10:28):
this random woman to her, to you as if like
this is a whole another introduction. So she has more
work coming coming from this week, way more complicated than
it is. All she has to do is go up
and go. So she is going to be a woman.
Yeah exactly, I am that's not the play that only
works on how I met your mother? Have you met?
That doesn't work before? Like, hey, it's Miami, We're only
(10:51):
here for a weekend, so you're not going to see
him again. Why can't we just go and have a
good time at the time. As as a friend, you
need to go. Okay, you know, another thing if you
just take yourself off the hook and not start looking
every night for then you have a much better time
and it just something might come to look. Problem is
that's not, that's not. I've learned Jake over the last
(11:13):
four years. He's a romantic. He is a Ryan Gosling
kiss the girl in the rain with no shirt on.
How are you going to help him out then? Or
what are you doing? Romantic? I mean Miami is a
sexy city, so it automatically can be romantic if he
sees it as a like James Bond movie instead of
a you know, I think it first starts with his wardrobe.
He has to stop shopping at American Eagle. Was great,
(11:37):
you don't work there. Starting shirt right now, don't slam
American Eagle. It's not a sponsor, but you don't work
there anymore. It doesn't he's gonna be a Miami. You're
gonna be a Fountain Blue every the whole. Uh. He's
gonna step Yeah, you gotta step the game up a little. Bants.
I have old navy linen. PA, what's the date? What's
(11:57):
the date of Macapaloon? Next weekend? Next weekend? It's next Friday,
leaving next Friday, So you know what I would love.
Let's scared to go. But I think we should do
this as a bit on the show. One weekend, Let's
see who could be a better wing man for Jake
your Ritza down in Miami, and then the following weekend
you go out with Scary and see who does better.
(12:18):
I think I would vote Scary, which is surprising because
at first I thought you, but I might I why
would you? Why would you think? Because it eliminates the
whole is this girl actually interested in him? I know
you're like if I go up to a girl and say, like,
if you got scary, if you go up to a
twenty something your old girl, they're not that's creepy. Well,
(12:40):
they probably won't think that you're trying to get with them.
So the role of you is my wingman would be
set without even That's just true. And by the way,
we've gone out together before, and I don't I might
not great into conversation. People connect. You're the mayor, the
mayor of wherever. You love bringing people together. I always say,
(13:01):
and I always make sure it's like and this is
so and so, and this is so and so. You're
very good at it well, thank you. So then then
that would make me, that would qualify me. But that's
a good that's a good party host. A wingman is
a different situation though, where he's party the party host
can also be the wing man because he can do
it all. He knows everybody. But and then everybody's talking
to him, and then he's like, oh, yeah, look my
(13:22):
friend Jake. There is some validity though, And you know,
with your rits of being female, sometimes the non threatened
females that are cool will will actually make friends with
your ritza, and then you'll get right in. And if
another woman knows that another woman is approving of Jake, yeah,
then they're like, oh, he must be a good dude
if he has such a great friend. There you go,
(13:42):
and so they're gonna see how cool I am. They're
gonna be like, I want to be cool and hang
out with your ritza and not this guy Jake. He's
as equally as Jakes, his toes in the water, drinking
vodka soda. And then like all of a sudden, I'm
making out with the girl. You wouldn't be the first
time have the same taste your boyfriend Kevin exactly. She
(14:10):
wouldn't be man. She would just steal the girl. Kevin
right now, boyfriend Kevin is so lovely going. He sounds
secure with the relationship. Well, he's a smart one, unlike well,
I don't want to say you're unsmart. But unlike Kathleen,
who thinks that you're's and are gonna together, Kevin knows
(14:30):
that there's nothing ever going to happen between yours, and
I think he kind of knows that, like even if
he wasn't with when Kevin met Jake, like when we
were just talking, it's like a book. When Kevin met Jake, um,
he was just is this ending? Well, I guess we'll
talk about it the next podcast. You're just gonna team.
(14:50):
She knew that we were going to be together because
Jake's too pick Flitt fifteen minute morning show