The 15 Minute Morning Show - Shots Shots Shots - 3/27/17

The 15 Minute Morning Show - Shots Shots Shots - 3/27/17

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fifteen minute morning show podcast coming up, but we got
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dot com slash fifteen as in fifteen minute morning show
Blue a Bring dot com slash. What would you talk

(01:05):
about on your on your podcast, Elsent, I have other
choice words for you. Scary, but you have one shot

(01:27):
at Jamison. Obviously you're calling all pitches. I did. It's
so funny, Like I said, I hate whiskey and it's gross.
Like I know, Bethany has been trying to get me
to kind of like it. So the other night we
were at a party and all the guys were doing
shots and they go come on, and they dragged me
over and I'm like, what are we doing? I thought
it was something Jamison. I'm like, oh goodness, gracious, and

(01:49):
it wanted to be party pooper. So I did it
is a blended whiskey, all right? Well I did it
and out she did it. It went down pretty smooth.
That's what she said last night. Can I just throw
something at your head? Right? Do it? So? Are you
going to stay hold on? That was a pen? Scary,
but it was a blended pen. She said. I was

(02:17):
actually pretty good. I was. That's what she said last night.
Was very impressed with it. It wasn't that's what she
said last night. I wasn't. I didn't want to throw up.
That's what she said last night to walk out the room,
because I don't think about today. If you think about it,
anything you say, anyone ending, anyone who says could be
interpreted as being true the pervy, your sexist or sexy.

(02:37):
But you're that guy. Then if you turn everything into
you gotta use it, that friend, but you gotta use
it sparingly. I use it sparingly. That's yeah, very she said.
All right, So did you open the door to doing
shots more in the future now? Yeah, you know that
I've only done like two or three shots in my life, really, yeah,
I think the last year or so. I actually did

(03:00):
I first shot fire the other day. Yes. I was
always afraid that it was gonna because I'm a lightweight
as it is, and I like fruity drinks and stuff.
So I always thought that if I did a shot,
it was going to put me over the edge and
I wasn't going to really know what I was doing
and I was nervous, So I never ever did one.
And then I finally did, and I was like, oh,
I'm okay, and I was okay, so good. Yeah, alright,

(03:21):
I'm not going to do it all the time. Jamis
is a pretty harsh one, though, do you think so?
Uh yeah, comparatively, Yeah, it's not like sex on the beaches. Well. So,
there's this place in the city called Bounce, not a sponsor,
and what they do is they sell more jamieson than
any other venue in the world. And you know why

(03:42):
is because they have these things called banana Jamo shots. Yes,
I've had those. They mixed to Jamieson with banana and
when the banana cuts to Jamison in such a way
that it's like you're drinking like kool aid, it's like
not even it's it's it's drinking like banana juice and
you just drink it, drink it. Before long you are

(04:03):
fucked up. Then you get bounced out of the bar.
And then it's called bounced for for a reason because
you get bounced out. I'll bounce you, bro. Yeah, but
it's true though, No Jamie. But I've actually I gotta
tell you, I really enjoyed our flight last week with
the with the Jamison. Would not Jamison with the whiskey,
because when we went from the first one to the
sixth one. They got progressively progressively stronger, and after you

(04:26):
took the sixth one, they said, go back to the
first one. And the first one tasted like sugar. Yeah,
it was nothing. It really was crazy. That was the bourbon. Yeah. So,
I mean, like, Jamison isn't one of your finer whiskey's right,
it's not. It's not. It's it's I mean, it's good,
but it's not like a bottle of McCallen or something.

(04:46):
I don't know what the hell those things were that
we were drinking, but those are really expensive good whiskey
is that you're supposed to sip? Yeah, yeah, you don't
take a Jamison, Jamo or Maker's Mark, right, Jack Daniels
or Jim Beam or something like that. Oh I didn't
those There's certain bourbons and rise that you like. You're like, yeah, didn't.

(05:09):
We end up on Friday having the same conversation about
expensive tequilas and war like Elvis was going to buy
a case of buying bulk bottle of what was that
PD one? Yeah, yeah, he was gonna buy a case
of it. He's like, oh, I get another bulk. We
do talk about drinking a lot on this show. So yeah,

(05:32):
but we've given quite a quite a lesson in whiskey
the last couple of days. Yeah, I should start bro
Daniel just like, just like the other day, though you
didn't have any breakfast before you took a shot of fireball?
Did you eat at the party? Though? I had eaten
a lot, thank gosh, So I was fine. Yeah, the
when we did a shot the other day when we
were here, what do we do? Um? I had nothing
in my stomach. I was saying two of you like,

(05:53):
I started to see two of scary too. I don't
I'd better read something. So as you eat something, it
kind of levels out. Okay, this this, this just shows
you that I know nothing about alcohol. I'm such a
lightweight tolerance. Are Like, if you did that and then
you did a shot the next day, it probably wouldn't
affect you as much. I drank a lot on Thursday.
I went out on Saturday night. I could not get

(06:14):
drunk to save my life. So you're trying to tell
me I need to get ways to regularly you go
without for a while. Um, for you know, I was
on that dr Fat Lost Diet is a sponsor, Yes,
so after all that I had gone without liquor for
like forty five days. The next couple of times I
started drinking. Whoa, what aren't you drinks? And I was

(06:36):
eighteen year old scary all over it? Right, you know,
it's true though, you lose your tolerance. But it sounds
like you've been drinking so much lately. I gotta not
drink for like, yeah, a couple of weeks and a
cheap days. I've seen you get tipsy, almost drunk on
one apple teeny. I'm not sure you're the biggest drinker
in the room. I'm not the biggest drink in the room.
And then he walks around like, oh man, I don't

(06:59):
no man that ever. I love that stuff like there
was a Swedish fish and the very very, the very
very you drink more, I have fruity pebbles and milk.
I got so wasted. It was this place that served
the cosmos. It was the very white. It was such
an amazing drink. And the Jolly Rancher, which had jolly

(07:20):
ranchers in it. I used to love the sweet drinks
like that, the sour apples. You're lucky you don't live
in the Old West. They put a bullets trying to
for men and get women saying I get I had
delivering it. Well, I mean if I if I order
a Michaelo Ultra, is that a problem for anyone here?
It's a beer. It's fun. I mean, I'm not gonna

(07:42):
you gotta have a lot of them to get drunk.
But I know, but no, But will I be judged? No, No,
I don't think you know. Listen, I'm the first person
to not judge anybody. I get Brandy Alexander's and us,
you know, and Moscow mules. Actually a manly like white Russian. Yeah,
not as much as our president, but I do like
a white people. No, No, I just wrote that. Yeah, OK,

(08:06):
that's a great story jokes. I don't think it's the
it's the beer that you would be drinking. I think
once you are drinking something named after a child cartoon,
and then that's that's where we kind of go. Give me,
give me a friend and Barney vodka. Come on, and
I get a fruit roll off. You know what I
was drinking yesterday? We went we bought a case of

(08:29):
the Seagram's wine coolers, remember them, because because my dad
gave up beer for lent, and we wanted to drink
something in the house, so I'll get these. And they
tasted so good. You know, they have the penic, a
lot of flavor. You could just keep drinking dolls and
you don't ever feel anything. They're bringing back. Got to

(08:50):
bring something in here. We got We've got to who
we used to shove our Dolly Ranchers in there. I
loved I loved the bottles the Zema came in. Remember
they don't think they were blue, were clear label. But yeah,
it looked like a bottle your grandmother would have on
her vanity with perfume in it, you know what I mean.
Like it was a really classy looking bottle. But the

(09:10):
stuff that was in it, it was it was it
didn't it have the people called the douche juice, like
you were a douche. If you drank it, that ship
will take the paint off your car. You remember balls
to drink Balls be a w LS. Partially why I
work here alcohol. There's no alcohol in it. It was
called it was a garana drink. The first the first
week that I came to hang out with the morning show,

(09:31):
I wasn't working here and I was freelance sending in scripts.
And the first day I came in, the balls company
sent up a case of balls Garana drink and I
did an elvis list on failed slogans for balls Guarana
and that's when they said you can come back and
write any time you want. So it's a good chip.
There's one of the main reasons I'm here is because
they said balls, balls Guarana up that morning and I

(09:54):
wrote an elvis list and then if if you're dribbling
a little bit of it said you got some balls
on your chin? Yeah, yeah, that was part of the
part of the Yeah, something like that. A long time ago.
You two can be in radio. It was like one
of the slogans was these aren't your father's balls, because

(10:16):
that was this isn't your father's oldsmanbile was a big
slogan just for the taste of it. Balls like that.
It's the tall bottle at the bar Galliano. I don't
see that anymore. It's like it's like two ft tall.
It sticks out amongst all the other bottles at the park.
It tastes like an a zette, like licorice. It's just
another it's yellow, but it tastes like black watch the

(10:39):
one that looks like a Mrs Butterworth and Angelica. I
think it's crazy how he just describes the bottle and
you people know what. I used to manage restaurants and
we had a bar, so I had an inventory the
liquor all the time, like shamboard, the round bottle. Everybody
knows that one. Well, everyone knows the teen No look

(11:00):
at the Frangelical bottle versus the Butterworth bottle. They look
the same, exact bottle. But I like the Butterworth better
of my kids. When we were in Universal Orlando. So wait,
so I sponsor every night. I love how that started. Okay,
can I can I drop your story? We'll come back,
go back in Danielle, But I have a funny Universal student.

(11:23):
How did I remember that? Remember? I think you were
just going off on some product, not a sponsor, and
now it's just carried through name dropping one. So every night,
not every night, but a couple of nights a week,
I'll have a glass of wine before bed and it
just relaxes me. Right. So sometimes the kids make fun
of me. They think it's no mom. So in Universal Orlando,

(11:43):
I overhear my kids telling people, Yeah, my mom likes
to drink. She drinks, but I'm like, what are you?
I said, guys, but you do I said, yeah, I know,
but it's a glass of one. Mom Eats is not
an alcoholic drinking constantly, and she can't drive your places.
He goes, no, but but I'm just telling yeah, but
you gotta watch the way you say it. Guys. They
thought it was the funniest thing I ever. I'm like,

(12:04):
oh my gosh, that happened a great tea. So his
daughters had to draw what your parents do for a living.
So at the time, Gregg t would work uh work
at clubs after at night, So his daughter Jada drew
a picture of Greg going to a club would looked
like a strip club and drinking beer. So he had
to go into his his daughter's UH school and explain
that that's what he does at night. He does club appearances,

(12:26):
not as strip clubs, and doesn't drink just beer. But
that's what jadass funny. You gotta be careful with kids,
because Spencer's came home the other day and he's eleven. Yeah. Mom,
I had a discussion with my teacher about what happened
last night. I said about what the fight I had
with Preston, and I go, um, would you say abounch parents?
You know, because you're like, you know, you're get some
of them yelling at your kids and whatever. They go

(12:49):
and tell their teachers everything. Teachers know every detail. If
you have dirt in your house, oh, they're going to
know about it. And that's why teachers drink on Friday. Yes, exactly,
all the guilt of carrying it. So I wanted to
talk about Universal Studios. Jimmy Fallon, as you know, has
the Tonight Show ride at Universal Studio. Good. But you know,

(13:11):
in some people's minds, when they think of amusing parks
in Florida, they think of Disney. So he told a joke.
It was a political joke, and the punch line was
it would be like if you told your kids, oh, yeah,
I'll show you. I'm not turning this car around. We're
going straight to Disney World and I'm gonna make you
ride the rides all you want. And I was like, oh,
that's interesting. He used Disney when he could use Universal
Studios because that's where he's affiliated with. So he the

(13:33):
band plays, he goes to his desk and the joke
comes up again in conversation, and he says, Yep, it
would be just like if I said, I'm not turning
his car around. We're going straight to Universal. And he
looked at the camera like, yeah, I realized what I
did the first time. He fixed it. So he told
the same joke, which he should have told the first time.
You should have told his writers make the punch line Universal,
not Disney, because you're so it's gotta be careful when

(13:53):
it's a sponsor. I mean, we have conversations a lot
of the time about sponsors on our that we can't
joke about, right, you know, I mean that's just that's
just business. That's called being in a partnership. Yeah, absolutely,
but it was. It's interesting as someone who you understand
the business that fallon. Within a minute and a half,

(14:14):
changed the punch line at the joke, great t highlighting
Rob Vices. Yeah, okay, he speaking of not a client,
not a sponsor. I want to update you guys. A
couple of months ago, I spent I think two shows
to podcasts bitching about my red pepper chicken burger with
smoke GOODA. It wasn't in costs continued right, and they

(14:37):
for the winter, they discontinued and they replaced it with
Kale Burger's back. Well. Update, My wife was at Costco
this weekend and she texted me a picture and she said,
they're back. So today for lunch, I'm having my chicken
burger from costcocast. That's right. I'm not saying it's springtime
and that's why they brought it back. Coincidentally, I'm saying
the power of the podcast. You know what, the power

(14:59):
of us in the show, right, Uh gosh. Mars is
a big partner of ours. They were always doing stuff
with Eminem's and Snickers and stuff, and like three years ago,
I said, hey, you know what you guys used to
have that I loved was the crispy Eminem's. Like, oh,
you know what, we'll work on that. And then a
year later they came back. I'm telling you, that's my
favorite candy ever and they made millions. I pitched and

(15:22):
moaned about Pobe Max, who still hasn't come back. Well
waiting for Max to come back. I don't know if
it's a national company, but Hostess is fairly large around
the country, and Hostess had closed down their business and
then another company bought the rights to the name and
the bakeries and the recipes, and they brought back Hostess
cupcakes and yodels and different things, and they didn't bring
back susie Q. Well, one day, the guy, the guy

(15:43):
who bought the company, was up here on a tour
and I said, hey man, you gotta bring back susie Cues.
And within six months brought back suscut. Thank you. Chicken
burg is in susie Q. What else is coming back? Anything?
Sexy's coming Back? The fifteen Minute Morning Show