Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Harry's dot com slash elvis. What would you talk about
on your on your podcast represents show the camera before
(01:16):
the microphone. That was because say, great team and what
he does. I'm not on TV? Some good stuff on team.
What do you Thursday? So what do you guys watch
on Thursday nights? The Americans? You know? For I think
that is that good. And I'm not even kidding because
it's bad. Let me just say for one second, I
have heard, okay that it really is a very good show.
(01:39):
It is okay. I have not watched, not one episode
because it's something I can just jump into or no, no,
you need to watch from episode one. But The Americans
is one of the best shows on television. And you're
not like overdoing you. Genuinely, it's a very good show.
I don't know if they one who watches that show
who aren't say the same thing about I gotta check
that out. Watch. If you haven't seen Feud on facts,
(02:01):
you have not. Feud is what the old actors and
now they get along so good right now it's about
um what are their names Thatttie Dave, Bettie Davis and
l I don't know much about them, thank you, and
it's their fight and it's so good. But then next
season it's going to be Prince Charles and Princess Diana. Um,
that's going to be the next two years. I say,
(02:21):
do yourself a favor. Watched Dave Chappelle's to Netflix special
that just came out right. That is f and hilarious.
I've heard good things. You will you you will just
lose track of time and you'll be like crap, the
same kind of the same kind of humor as when
he was on Chappelle show. Oh of course and he
answers all the questions. So that time he got booed
(02:42):
off stage and people are like, oh, he's drunk, he goes,
I wasn't drunk. I was high as a mother. I
was smoking. We were rappers, and rappers smoked some some
hard stuff. And then people booed, I want my money back,
and you know what I said to them, boo you
you're not getting your money back, and you walked off stage.
That's great. I'm feuding with Dave Chappelle, so I can't
watch his why are you so? Whatever? Year it was
(03:04):
that he walked off from Comedy Central and quit the
show two thousand nine ten whatever. I had been in
a talent event, a comedy talent event where people could
meet writers and producers and things, and so I was
on a panel with one of his producers and not
knowing it was one of his producers. I was being myself,
trying to be funny and joking around, and he's like,
(03:26):
I started talking to this guy and he's like, what
do you do? I I used to write sketch comedy
and improvit. Whole thing is because I worked for the
Dave Chappelle show. He would love you what, Yeah, can
you write up a couple of sketches for the show?
And then yes, I do. Um. I did a sketch
called the Hoe Flex about this You get a hoe
to come over and you you exercise with her by
(03:47):
bending her over and you store under the bed anyway. Uh.
And then I did um um. Remember when crunk juice
was a big thing. I did crunk Jews and it
was a couple of jews that it doesn't matter anyway,
it was it was. It was urban sketches for Chappelle,
and he says he liked them. He says, listen, I'll
bring you They used to do a long island city.
(04:07):
They used to tape along. It says, you'll come to
the set. I want to introduce you to Dave, you
should write for us, He'll just because I can hire writers. God,
I said, this is fantastic. I'll start writing more sketches.
So um that Monday, well, I see, says, call me
and you will pick a day to come down to
the studio. You'll meet Dave, watch us film and everything.
(04:28):
And he and then I called him and he says, listen,
Dave isn't here. We don't know where he is. He's
got As soon as we hear back from him, i'll
let you know. But ahead. It was the same week
he disappeared and went to he went to Africa allegedly
or whatever. And then like them now, and then what
happened the next day after that that was that was
(04:49):
like yeah, like so a couple of days later it
came out that he would disappeared, and he quick commed
central all of those people were out of work, and
the guy that wanted to get me a job was
out of out of a job, and he walked away
from fifty million dollars and me, that sucks. Your life
could have been totally different, I could. We should We
should read those sketches though, on air. I think that
would be cool. I don't want to do. But that
was the gist of them. I mean, they would have
(05:11):
them trademark obviously because they're yours. Yeah, but they're they're
a little dated. They were funny, like crunk isn't funny now.
But anyway, but the other one, the point is, and
I'm feuding with Dave Chapplle and he doesn't not So
if you're not gonna watch that, so what are you watch?
I felt like it. Used to watch The Blacklist? No, no, no, good,
Yeah no, I watched it kind of jumped the shop
(05:31):
the way. Who even watches TV live anymore? Watched The
Right I'm still and I watched the spin off spinoff now, yeah,
there's a second Blacklist. It's good. You really like it.
I'm enjoying it. They took Tom from the show and
gave him his own People watch stuff and time shifting.
(05:51):
They watch stuff on Hulu and Netflix. No, no, no, no.
We watched The Empire obviously, it's it's a moment. It's
a thing of partist now. I recorded it. New season started,
yeah last night. And also for freaking Walking Dead, I'm
like five episodes behind and it's almost over. Isn't this
season two? More episodes. You listen to the Walkers and
(06:14):
Talkers podcast and my Heart Radio. You know, you know
what I don't want to because then you'll tell me
things I don't need to know. Your life seems to
like spiral out of control sometimes and I think that
maybe we're missing something that You're right, even though there
is this TV guide here in the paper and I'm
looking at but you know who's really watching it in
that exactly when you when you said what's on Thursdays?
You know, I genuinely, as a man with seven DVRs,
(06:34):
did not know what's on Thursdays. I just watch it
whenever I watch it. Back in the day there was
like the Tuesday night line up. Yeah, listen, people just
put you on their DVR and then when you get
to what they get to anges, Danielle just said musty,
and is really musty when you get around to a
TV exactly, but Danielle's cut out the commercials and fast
forward it. You could catch um, you can catch actually
a sixty minute show in forty four minutes, right like
(06:55):
she's been saying, it's it's shonder Thursdays what it is?
But I mean, are you gonna sit there and watch
raised anatomy into scandal into the catch. That's a brilliant marketing. Yeah,
it really is. If I'm gonna watch it live, I
will wait for twenty minutes and then I watch it
because I don't want, I don't need it from the executives.
These executives still think that it's and you're watching TV.
(07:16):
They have to. They're trying to do the Oh, let's
put this to this and against this, and then it's
just about the quality of the content. It really has
nothing to do with being up against one another or
is this a good lead into that? Right? Nobody watches
TV that way anymore. You know, we're so busy, like
for gay for instance, web girl Katholic with a real
life situation right now, Kathleen, you must have time to
watch TV. It's in fact, But why don't you tell
(07:39):
everybody what happened? A really smooth segment take us through.
This is what happened. I was forty five minutes late
to work yesterday because I was driving to work and
I got into a car accident. Goodness, you're fine. And
it was with an uber driver and as a passenger
(08:00):
in the backseat of the car, and we all get out,
and the uber driver I could tell right away I
was in trouble. This guy was bad news because he
started yelling at me and berating me. It was his fault.
He ran through a stop sign, got halfway through the
stop halfway through the intersection, realized his mistake, froze up
(08:23):
when he saw me coming, and then I had nowhere
to go. I hit the brakes with the card. Yeah rolling,
and you know he said that I was only going
to stop. I couldn't stop. I mean, he really came
right through, the right through the intersection. I didn't have
(08:43):
a stop sign. It wasn't and he when the cops
got there, he said, to the cops, so first he
called me a retard, which is the R word. Is
not a nice words for the story. Yes, we don't
like that word. And then the cops got there and
he goes, you know, it's clearly her fault. You know,
she's going too fast. She's a woman driver. And the
(09:03):
police officers laughed, and the police officer laughed in his face.
Shout out to the Hobooken police because they stood up
for me, and I was so happy. They told him.
It has nothing to do with being a man or
a woman, and you can't say stuff like that, and
then the police officer hit on you. He did, and
then gave that guy a piece of his mind. Scumbag
river two seventeen, who uses that? Excuse the kitchen and
(09:27):
drive a car pregnant. I'm not saying that either sex
is better drivers or the other, even though Danielle gets
into a lot of accidents in our own category. Hold on,
but this morning, I had an interesting thing happened. I
was a little late to work today as well. But
you were drunked up, but I wasn't driving. I was
drugged up. That's why I was late anyway. Um, and
not because I had on surgery. I don't. I don't
(09:47):
do drugs anyway. You're jugging and driving, drugging and driving anyway.
So the traffic was really bad because when people go
to work at normal times, this traffic, when we go
to work normally, there's no one on the road, no
one on the road. I didn't see Dave Chappelle in
the road. This one by the way, and uh, anyway,
it was bumper a bumper, And I had to send
Bethany a text message because I was running late. A
news story I was supposed to give her at six am,
(10:08):
and I was late, so I voiced texted her and
I looked up in the car ahead of me had
pulled three car links ahead, and so I was like,
oh my god, the guy behind me is gonna be
so pissed that I didn't pull up. And I looked
at my review mirror and it was a woman putting
lipstick on with her visor down. She was looking up.
She had no clue what was going on. So bit
worse than voice texting. I don't know if it's worse
in voice texting. I had my eye mostly on the road.
(10:32):
You're not supposed to be texting period, No, but you
shouldn't be putting makeup on while you're driving. No, you're right,
But there are those times that I'm sitting there picking
my nose though sometimes and it takes a long time,
and then all of a sudden, sometimes you got some
stuff up there. If I'm really up there, you know
it's early in the morning, I got some crusties. I
gotta get him out, and you take your eyes off
the road. It's part of the live man question. After that,
(10:52):
do you've use hand sanitizer? Absolutely not uses your wheel
parking parks, my car? How many germs are on your hands?
Were overthinking? And then you come here and you use
the microphone yet yes it sounds gross. It is, but dude,
(11:16):
and then you feed me great. Come on, like you
wash your hands every time you guys go to the bathroom.
You know you do? Not you do? I don't just
try and go through the motion. Didn't make the sound
like I grabbed my I grabbed my privates. I go
to the bathroom and then I walk out of I
just want to go and if I see Garrett the hallway,
I go, yo, it's not man high five? Ever done this?
(11:38):
Have you ever done this? Have you ever done the
the fake wash your hands where you just like kind
of run your hands to under the water. I don't
even do that, and then go for the go for
the wipe, just to have the sound of the dispenser
releasing telling you you're drawing your hands and walking out.
I barely washed my hands after I go to the bathroom.
I barely want I have a question. I thought you guys,
when you go pet you don't touch your privates? What
(11:59):
do you mean? No, you gotta control it. No, it'll
hit the floor. It's like a sprinkler if you don't
control it. Well, that's why I was telling his tongue
some of the other day. My little guy, when he
sits to go poo, you have a penis? No, He
puts his hand like in between his legs in the
toilet and I go, what are you doing? And he said, well,
(12:19):
I have to hold it down so it doesn't spray
everywhere I go. Of course I had no idea. Who
told him that? I guess, my husband, you should be thinking, no,
I think the first time it's shot forward on the
toilet seat is what told him. How do we get
on this top? Why are you in there watching your
kid post? He's eighteen years old. We were in the
middle of Cathleen's story. Has any of you guys ever
(12:41):
been to Gallagher's two thousand. It's New York City's largest
gentleman's an a t M. On the premises they say
it's got the classy ladies and classy clish jack. You
were dealing with the prehistoric do super drive and under
any under any other circumstances, as I would have lost
my s. I s h I you could use the
(13:05):
R word twice already, but you won't say ship, but
that wasn't in the story. Well, I actually I thought
that he was going to start, like really attacking me.
So I put my video on and I have this
sound and I laughed so hard when I heard it
yesterday because I was such the mom to him. So
this was my reaction when he called me a retard
three times just for this. Oh crap, hold on, sorry, scary,
(13:27):
you can't figure how to get your phone. You're such
a It's not very not nice to call me a retard.
I appreciate it if you didn't do that, So I like,
why didn't I lose my mind? I just said to him,
very calmly, it's not very nice to call me, by
the way, did you? He is justification, he said, So
it's like saying you're a bit, versus you're acting like
(13:49):
a bit. He's trying to say, you're you're acting like one.
How is it an? I don't call you retard? You're
acting like a retard. Terrible word to say. The second
that the cops and he pulled she's a woman car.
It's definitely her fault. They were not having it game
over for him, for him, Yeah, screw that, all right,
now you made my day miserable. I use lift to Donova.
(14:11):
This is a terrible way to Yeah, I lift from
now on. But I was getting the lift and get
out of here. The fifteen minute Morning Show