July 2, 2024 • 46 mins
This week, Tommy is joined by the incredibly talented rapper and actress Bre-Z. She rose to worldwide fame playing Freda Gatz on the hit Fox drama Empire, working alongside Taraji P. Henson and Terrence Howard. Fast forward to today, she currently stars in the CW hit show, All American, now in its sixth season. The 100th episode of All American airs this summer which is an incredible milestone that many shows don’t have the opportunity to reach. Today Bre-Z opens up about how working as a barber led her to the opportunity of a lifetime in Hollywood that changed her life forever, joining one of the most popular shows on television at the time for her very first acting job, how she pushed fear aside to just focus on the job in front of her, creating original songs for her role on Empire, what she most relates to playing Coop on All American, how the show tackles real-life topics in a way that makes audiences feel represented, why its okay to not know everything, remaining authentic in an industry that makes it very difficult to do so, why she proudly stepped into being a role model for visibility among a community of people who don’t feel seen, the importance of disconnecting from time to time to protect her mental health, and a powerful realization she had one year ago.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tammy Diderio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Today's guest is full.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Of heart and full of soul, which is my favorite
kind of person to chat with because the conversation is
so real and meaningful and personal.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh, I loved it so much.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Powerhouse rapper and actress Breezy joins me today and man,
we cover it all.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
So.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Breezy rose to worldwide.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Fame playing Freeda on the hit Fox drama Empire, working
alongside the brilliant Taraji p Henson and Terrence Howard.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
This show was so good. Fast forward to today.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
She currently stars in the CW hit series All American,
which is in its sixth season.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
The one hundredth episode of All American airs of this summer,
which is an incredible milestone in the TV and film space,
and that just shows the staying power that this series has.
It means so much to the fandom. From the streets
of Philadelphia to the spot light of Hollywood, Freezy has
easily one of the most interesting stories that I've come across.
(01:05):
She started as a barber, inheriting the craft from her
father and her grandfather before a chance encounter with a
former client that led her to the opportunity of a lifetime.
I love her story because it just goes to show
that if you have the faith, the dots in your
life will connect in the ways that they are meant to.
So let's see if we can get Breezy to say
(01:28):
something that she has never said before.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Freezy, how you doing, my friend? It's so good to
see you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I'm good. I'm doing well. Enjoying Paris, enjoying the weather,
the air, traffic, the people, not really being able to
communicate properly with them, but you know, making it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
That's the best.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I like when you're kind of forced outside your comfort zone, right,
it teaches you a thing or two.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yeah, I was like, you get to a place that
you've never been. I've never been to Paris, and you realize, like,
I don't know anything. I don't know I don't know
which way to go, I don't know what to eat,
I don't know how to ask for what I want eat.
I mean, I don't speak the language.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
There's something refreshing about that in this day and age.
So I love to get outside our comfort zones, as
I like to say. But Breezy, it's such a pleasure
hanging out with you today. I'm a big fan of
your work. I love everything you stand for. I love
your story. It's so interesting in how you got from
essentially a point A to where you are today. But
I want to bring it back for a minute because
something that I connect with you on is my husband's
(02:34):
grandfather was a barber, and wow, some of his best
experiences with his grandfather were growing up and watching him
cut people's hair. And it's such a dear thing for him.
And I know that that's your background. And you started
off doing on Philadelphia and then Atlanta. So before we
dive into how you got to where you are today,
(02:54):
what about that craftsmanship did you love?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Like why did you say? Oh, man, I want to
get involved in that.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It was actually a skill that came natural. And you know,
I want to say it was just because of the
many people in my family who did it before me.
Somehow I feel like that thing happens, you know, But
for me, it was just the people and being you know,
of service and being personable, and you know, it's like
(03:21):
it's such an important job. It's almost like a therapist,
you know what I mean, Like this person comes in
and they trust you with their look. I mean, this
is they leave out feeling better than they came or worse,
you know, and that kind of it's like a weight
that kind of sits on your shoulders. So to be
able to have clients that were able to every time
(03:45):
leave me feeling better than they came was like, I
just got so much joy from that and also just
like making people look good, you know, And it was fun.
And I've always been artistic and I love to draw
and things like that, so to cut hair, it's like
it's an art to me, you know, So it was
always fun. Everybody has different size shaped heads and different
(04:06):
types of hair and people want different things, you know,
so it was never it never got old for me,
Like it was always exciting every time. You know, different
personalities coming in the shop every day, and not just
the people that are coming to me, but you know
to barbershops that people everywhere, you know. So it was
just an experience a lot of personalities, a lot of
people that came from different walks of life, you know, backgrounds,
(04:30):
and you know, everybody obviously in any type of salon
just have different opinions, you know what I mean. So
that was that was fun. It was interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Do you walk around now judging people's hair? Are you like, ooh,
bad cut. I could have done that?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Absolutely? Absolutely, And then I also see people where I'm like, man,
like I would love to cut his hair. You know,
there is a such thing as having like a great
head of hair. You know that's like worth cutting, you know.
So yeah, on both sides absolutely, like look at people
and say, you know what, I would love to cut
their hair, or like, dag, who did that? You know
(05:05):
what I'm saying, Yeah, it happens all the time. Can't
help it.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's so funny. Yeah, I would imagine you once you
have the eye for that and you have the skill
for it, you can't really turn that off, you know,
No I can't.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
And it's like probably like the first thing I look at,
it's like the first thing I noticed, Like if it's
a good cut, I'm like, wow, that fade is amazing,
Like whoever did that? Or I'm like, wow, they just
took off way too much hair because you can always
tell by how much grows back. You're like, dang, they
took off way too much, you know. So I'm always
it's like I said, it's like the first thing I
(05:37):
noticed when I especially when I see men, first thing
I look at.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh God, no pressure, I hope I'm having a good
hair day to day.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
No, you're good. Here's beautiful. You're beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
You're fine, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Well, it's no surprise you're so creative and artistic in
that space given what you do, you know, for your
career with rapping and with acting and what I love
is you know, you started with being a barber, and
that led you to cut some pretty influential people's hair, right,
Like did I see Acon and Chris Brown?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Were they some of the folks you ended up cutting
once you got to.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Up Chris Brown? No, I've never cut him, Luducris was
some cut a few actors here and there, Woodie McClain. Yeah,
but that was all like that was all before, Like
it was it was early on. You know, I was
I was young. I was like late teens, early twenties.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Oh subtle flat, So my late teens I was cutting
these superstars hair.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
You know what. I just happened to be in an
area in Atlanta where you know, it's almost like working
in a barbershop, maybe on Hollywood Boulevard or in West Hollywood,
Like it's one place that when you come to LA
you're going to experience one, two or both of those places,
you know what I mean, Like having a barbershop dead
(06:53):
in the Middle West Hollywood. You're going to see some people,
you know what I mean, You're gonna meet independent on
your skill level, you may get a chance to interact
with those people. And I just happened too. So it
was nice.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Well that's exactly what happened, right. You had you had a.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Former client or a client who kind of presented you
with this opportunity in the acting space, is that right.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, he was a he was a client for a while.
He was also a producer. He was already like kind
of navigating the world of Hollywood. I wasn't really like
privy to it like that, you know, not not in
great detail as I am now, But yeah, he was,
and he just he he made a call to me
and to see if I was interested because there was
(07:36):
a role and something. It was about music, and I
was just like I didn't really understand what he was saying,
but I like did my best, and yeah, that's how
that's how it happened. Happened very quickly. But that was
how it happened. It did start with a client of mine,
which is interesting because you never know, like you just
never know who's going to be that bridge to get
you from point A to point B or like you
(07:57):
know where that's going to come from.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Yeah, And I don't believe in accidents. I mean, I
think everything's kind of lined up in your life for
a reason. And it's so interesting that you started in
this profession that you genuinely loved and it was so creative,
and you learn from people you love, and it naturally
led you to something else that you love, and you know,
a whole career in the arts, and that first opportunity
I'm referring to as Empire, which was at the time
(08:19):
one of the hottest shows in the world. I remember
religiously watching it week after week, back back before the
days of streaming, you know, you'd wait every week.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I was watching it before before it happened. I was
like what, because he asked me if I heard of it,
and I was like, of course, everybody's heard of it,
Like what you know, because we had TV hadn't seen
nothing like that in a long time, and there was
so many stars on that show. It was like, yeah,
everybody was tuned in.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, I fell in love with Taraji. I'm like, oh
my god, who is this actress? She's so phenomenal and
everything about the show I loved. But most people don't
get their big break on this epically popular show. So
before you joined and once you started working, did you
have any fear? Were you nervous?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Like? How did you just dive into all of that?
Because I can be a lot for somebody.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Initially, you know, I was nervous, and I think it
was just because being in a room full of so
many well seasoned actors like Taraji, like Terrence, Chris Rock,
Gabby Citabey, she had just came off of Precious, you know.
These people were like have done big things, and I
was just kind of like, wow, like I've honestly, truly,
(09:27):
I've done a lot of things, but I've never done this.
So what am I here to do? You know what
I mean? But I was just it was definitely a
watch and learn type of environment for me. I was
learning as I went along, especially as far as the
craft was concerned. Once I finally got the time, like
because filming was so immediate and the schedule was vigorous,
(09:47):
and it was just everything was back to back and
I'm trying to figure that whole thing out. I eventually,
you know, got into acting classes like let me understand
like the technical side of this, because I felt like
I came in to it just exposing my natural personality,
you know, in lending that to the situation. But I
(10:07):
felt like I wanted to actually know what I was doing.
But at first I was very nervous. You know, I
was just kind of like, but you know, everybody made
me so comfortable, and most importantly, the director and the
actors that I were working alongside, they made me feel
very comfortable. They didn't make me feel like I was
new year.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
So that helped a lot, and a lot of people
in that situation would kind of let fear take over,
and it can be very paralyzing. It could affect the
quality of your work, and it could make you not
want to go to work. But you hat to show
up every day, learning lines, learning raps. I mean, there
was so much you had to learn so quickly. Was
that an easy process for you? I know you've always
(10:47):
written and done your wrapping, but being on a set
with that pressure, like did you kind of pick it
all up right away.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I just was like, I'm here, I have to do it,
Like it would be more embarrassing to kind of overthink
it mess up than anything. To me, the music part
was easy because I did have the pleasure and privilege
of creating my own music for that character. So that
was already like in my mind, that was the part
of it that I was very fluent in, you know
(11:15):
what I mean. So I was like, oh, when it
comes to performing or you know, anything, creating the music, like,
I can do that with my eyes closed, you know.
It was more so doing the scenes and cannot actually
remember these lines and am I is it? How does
it look? Because when you're doing music, we can hear
it back and be like, oh that was a good
or that wasn't good. Let me do another take. But
(11:36):
when you're acting, you don't get that pleasure. You know.
It's kind of like you're at the director's discretion. So
if they're like, do it again, you gotta do it again.
If they're like, oh it was good, then you don't
get to do it again, whether you know it's good
or you know it wasn't, you know what I mean.
So it was just it was different, But it didn't
take long for me to kind of get comfortable in
(11:56):
the performance of it, you know what I mean. I
was still like concerned of what it would look like
because I mean, I had filmed I think the show
premiered in September. I had filmed the first episode in July,
but I had not seen what I did until September.
So I went all that time. And that's how TV works.
You don't get to see it. You know, they're not
(12:18):
doing playback and here watch this. What do you think
is not happening? Like that? Everything's moving so fast. So
it was kind of like I was nervous, like for
the premiere, like I don't know how I did. I
don't even know what I look like, you know what
I'm saying, because I go through this air makeup and
I'm wearing these clothes and this is what they want.
You know, it's just like, Okay, I'm here. A little
bit of nervous is there, But you know, I quickly
(12:41):
got into it, quickly got into it. There was too
many like big names around me to like crumble in
that moment. That would have been embarrassing and I probably
wouldn't be here, you.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Know, There's something to be said too for your first
kind of major opportunity being on such a big scale,
because like you said, you don't really have time to
stop and think.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
You just say, I gotta do this.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I'm gonna look like an idiot, so I better just
buckle down and do the best work I can. That's
kind of been similar in my career. I've had big
opportunities presented as some of the first ones, and same thing.
It's like, there's no time to worry about it. You
just got to get to get out and do it.
But I'm even more impressed knowing that you were writing
your own wraps for that show too, because it's hard
(13:24):
enough learning your lines and being a new actor on
a new series, and then you have to throw that in.
Even though it's second nature for you, it's still a
lot more work.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
So that's yeah, that's balancing both of them absolutely, And
I would I would ask myself sometimes like how are
you remembering all these lines? How are you able to
do both? And I just like, I just at a
point I just stopped questioning myself. I'm like, the moment's here,
this is what you were called to do. You're here
(13:53):
to do it, you know. So I just I was thankful.
I was super grateful, and I just tried to like
focus and pay attend as much as I could because
I didn't, you know, my biggest fear had always been
like being unprepared, you know. So to get pulled into
something that I actually hadn't done enough like you know,
research or had enough knowledge of, to me was kind
(14:16):
of scary. It's like what it's like somebody handing your
car telling you to change the engine, and you've never
worked on a car in your life, you know what
I mean. So I kind of just took everything in
stride and was like patient with myself too, because you know,
I got to a point where I was a little
hard on myself and it was affecting how I showed
up at work. So I just like had to find
(14:36):
ways to let that go, like let it go. Be
present in the moment. The time is now, you got
to do it. You were called to do it, Just
show up and do it.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
And I imagine when you start off, you're just kind
of taking it day by day. You're getting the work done,
You're looking at the next day of work. It's just
kind of this machine you're hoping you're doing Okay, you're
not seeing the work, so it's like, oh, man, I
hope I'm proud of of all of this when it
comes out. But do you remember was there a moment
for you on that set that you thought, Okay, you
know what, I've arrived. I know I'm doing my damn thing,
(15:07):
and I feel pretty good and I'm now I'm cruising.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
So the role, initially just for context, was only supposed
to run throughout four episodes, right, So by the time,
you know, I felt like in the beginning, Okay, I'm
going to start here and this is where it stops,
you know what I mean, So like, let me make
the most of that. Before I knew it, I was
(15:32):
on like episode sixteen and I was like, oh, I'm here.
They keep writing more and more and more, and they
want me to do more and more and more. And
then they wanted Lee Daniels had created in that timeframe
the show Star, and they're like, they want you to
go on the show Star as well, and you need
(15:53):
to do this on that show. And I was like,
I obviously couldn't do it because of contractual reasons, but
I was just like, oh, this is it, and then
in the interer of that, I'm getting calls to do
this film. I'm getting calls to do that film. And
I was like, oh, I'm doing something right. Somebody's seeing something,
you know. So I was like, okay, you know, but
(16:13):
I didn't take it any less seriously, you know what
I mean, Like I didn't develop some cocky, you know, attitude.
I was just like, Okay, you thought it was going
to be over, It's not over, you know. And from
that moment, it just kept going, kept going, and I
was like, Okay, I'm in it. I'm really in it.
This is not a one way thing, like it's not
(16:34):
here today, going tomorrow, like this is still going on
and on. So and that was years.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Ago, and fast forward to today with All American, which
is in its sixth season.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
You play Coop.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I mean, what do you love about playing that role
and what can you most relate to?
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I like that this role in you know, it's crazy
because especially newcomers, you don't really spend this amount of
time on two hit shows back to back. That's one, right,
so two Coop is like a softer version of what
(17:15):
I played on Empire. In my opinion, she's really softer
and we get to see more of her personality and
she's not so angry. You know, that other character was
very angry. So I liked the likeness of Coop. I
love that she has, you know, friends, and she's got
like a village and there's like decent camaraderie there and
it's fun. It kind of reminds me of like when
(17:37):
I was younger watching Save by the Bell. You got
a group of kids in high school, like that was
fun for us to watch. I was happy to be
a representation for that particular generation, which was our target audience,
you know what I mean, this generation now, you know.
And it was fun doing all of it was fun.
The characters that I played with are you know, the
(17:58):
rest of my cast, like everybody was fun. It really
felt like we were in high school, you know what
I'm saying. So I like that. It was like I
like that I was able to prepare enough in all
of my work before this to be able to intentionally
add what I wanted to add to Kop, you know,
in regards to her sexuality, in regards to her personality,
(18:19):
her relationship dynamic with her best friend Spencer on the show,
like I was I felt like I was, I had
done enough of the work to be able to give
my input on this particular character. So that's what I was.
You know, makes me most happy about about playing her
because of the input I do have with the character.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
It's a character that means so much to so many people.
The visibility alone means so much to so many people,
and the show does too. Why do you think this
show has resonated in such a big way because people
really do feel reflected and seen through this.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I think without you know, obviously, this is not a
X rated show. You know, we are on primetime television.
We're not like you know, on Showtime or HBO or
anything like that, where we can be explicit in our
topics and stuff like that. But we've been able to
touch on all the things that are so strongly talked
(19:12):
about today in an easily digestible form. You know, for
people that was sexuality, that was depression and self care,
self awareness, self help, that was the opioid epidemic, you know,
things like that, things that as teenagers, and again speaking
(19:34):
on the characters, you know, these are things that it's
not going to change no matter what generation you talk to.
High school always had the same type of issues. We
all ran into the same things, not feeling as confident
about ourselves, or being peer pressured, or leaning on substances
like alcohol or you know, or even possibly doing it.
(19:56):
You didn't necessarily have to because I didn't, you know,
but we all knew somebody that was dealing with something.
So the way that they've been able to take, you know,
such important conversations and put them at the forefront of
this show, I think is what made it made it
what it is now because our target audience needed a
representation for themselves, and that's what each of these characters
(20:18):
I feel has been even you know, Jordan Baker and
him and his sister being biracial. That was also a thing,
you know, that was happening. We had this Black Lives
Matter movement, We had all this stuff with the police
and black men and stuff happened, and we had there
were children in the world that did not know what
side to land on. Am I really black? Am I
(20:40):
really white? Am I really this? And I really that?
You know? But we were able to share a story
that if you were needing help, this gave it to you.
If you needed a voice or a little encouragement, These
stories were able to give you that, So I think
that's why it's been and also for like parents and
people that have to raise children like that or peers
(21:00):
of children. It kind of gave you a birds that
I view of what these people may be going through,
whether they talk to you about it or not, you know,
So it created empathy across the board for a number
of people and understanding of self to the people who
are actually dealing with these issues. And I think, you know,
entertainment in itself, especially television, has just it's kind of
(21:21):
finding its way back to a real place, and there
is an understanding that we need real stories because there
is real life happening outside and it's not just Hollywood
is not just glitz and glamour, and it's not all
made to look like it's so perfect, you know what
I mean. Like we do have a duty of being
of service to people, especially being entertainers, you know, so
(21:44):
and our writers, our showrunner and Catchy Carroll, she's very
adamant about that, you know, just telling these stories properly
and making sure that people feel seen and heard when
watching anything that she's attached to all American being, you know,
one that we both you know, feel that way.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
About well your cast, and certainly you are making many
many people feel that way. And it must be very
prideful moment for you to be a part of a
show that will forever kind of change the conversation and
the landscape and not teach people in a I'm you know,
almighty and higher than you, but welcome people into a conversation,
(22:22):
which I think is what your show does so brilliantly.
It's like, no, no, no, just come join it, like let's
all talk about these things together. And I think that
is so rare to find.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, because most people, you know, they move through life
never saying anything, you know, and that's where that's where
the depression comes from. That's where the substance abuse comes from.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
You know.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
It's not feeling like you have a voice anywhere, or
not feeling seen or heard by you know, the people
around you. And I think that the show more importantly
made those people a little more visible, you know, and
it made you know, a person looking at them, invite
them into the conversation, or start a conversation with them,
(23:03):
or just try to get them to open up a
little bit, you know. So I feel like it did
a lot for so many different people. But you know,
I'm very proud of that. I'm very proud of that because,
like I said, I feel like this my purpose is
to be of service and whatever I'm doing, you know,
so I'm happy to help. And I'm definitely the person
(23:23):
that will engage with most people that will message me
about their story and talk about what they've gone through
and you know, and how my work has helped them,
especially on this show.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I love that. I love that so much.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I'm all about putting out messages that matter, especially in
our business. So the fact that you can keep doing
work that does that is amazing. And you strike me
as very much an old soul and I feel that way.
I've always felt that way. You just seem so wise
and so forward thinking, and I feel like you've always
probably been that way. That's just my guess from talking
(23:58):
to you thus far. Is there something over the last
few years that you've really learned about yourself, like a
great life lesson or something that's kind of helping you
as you enter the next chapter of your life.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
I think I've learned over the past few years that
I have so much more to learn, you know, I do.
I tell myself all the time. I'm like, I feel
like an old man, you know, Like everything I do,
I'm like, I'm such an old man. And it may
be the old soul of it all, but yeah, I
just feeling like I don't know everything. And you know,
(24:33):
I was that I had gotten to a point in
my life where I lived a certain part of my
life feeling like I know a lot, you know. But
at this point, I'm like, you know what, I'm opening
myself up more I have to, you know, and being
more receptive to things like that. That's where I'm at
in my life right now. Like I'm just I'm open
to different perspectives, very open to honesty from others, honesty
(24:57):
within myself, you know. And a lot of times would
you skip through like oh it's working, Oh I'm good,
I'm making money, it's okay, you know what I'm saying.
And I don't feel like that. I feel like, you know,
if you want to progress in a particular way in life,
you have to open yourself up a little bit, you know,
in each each level of your life, you know. So
(25:17):
that's where I'm at. I'm just like, you know, so
much more to learn. I'm open to most things you
know that are beneficial to me obviously, but yeah, I'm
I'm just open. That's where I'm at.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, that's why you're going to have a long career.
I think if you're open and you're willing to keep
growing and change, that seems to be the secret saw
so many people miss. And it's like, I don't want
to be who I was yesterday or last year, Like
I want to evolve. And you know, you seem like
you're the type who's always trying to better yourself personally
and professionally, and I think that really is a testament
to the work we see you do because it's it's
(25:50):
nothing short of amazing and it's going to only keep
soaring in every single direction that you want to go in,
which is really cool, especially in an industry like Hollywood
where it's so hard sometimes it's so hard to to
kind of be yourself and you have to fight for
it and you have to get to a place where
you're comfortable with being yourself. Have you found it hard
to maintain authenticity throughout your career in Hollywood?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Well, First, I appreciate everything you just said about me.
Thank you so much. Okay, So two parts of that answer.
I did not used to feel like that. I'm like,
you know, I came exactly as I was. But you know,
I shortly learned that being who you are isn't necessarily
easily digestible for people. You know, And once you get
(26:36):
in Hollywood, you realize that, you know, are some of
these people real or are they not? Or why is
everybody so unhappy? And why is there so much drug
abuse or substance abuse of alcohol abuse? Like why is
there like people are miserable, you know what I mean?
And it's like, no, I'm not, but I just I
am who I am. Of course I want to be better,
(26:57):
but I think that the authenticity, true authenticity in Hollywood
comes with a price. It comes with a price because
you know, you being who you are could get you uninvited.
You know, we don't want to do certain things around
him or her because of who you are, you know
what I mean? I don't know. And there's a lot
(27:18):
of pretending going on, and a lot of people are
doing things they don't want to do. You're in places
you don't want to be, talking to people you don't
even like, you know what I'm saying. So I think
that there's just I don't know for some people like myself,
for me to be authentic as everything. And I don't
want to be uptight in pretending in any situation that
(27:40):
I'm in, you know what I mean. I don't maybe
I won't be like my wild and crazy self and
like just blurt out stuff, you know. But I don't
absolutely want to have to put on a mask, you know.
I don't want to have to put on a mask
to be accepted in a room.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
That's a reminder I think so many people need, not
just in Hollywood, in any career profession where people want
to put you in a box or want to see
a version of you that's not really who you are.
And you're like, wait a minute, no, no, like receive
me for who I am. And I know in your case,
it's really important for you to put out the message
and the importance of being who you are. And you
(28:17):
say you're proudly a masculine presenting gay women, right, and
you want to see more representation of that out there,
so talk to me about that.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Well, I just feel like, who would I be if
I wasn't really that, If I wasn't really who I
was saying I was, Who would I be to the
young women and men as well who are watching me
based off the work that I'm doing, Like it's almost
like I'm giving false advice, like yeah, pretend to be
this when it matters, and when it doesn't, just forget
(28:46):
about it, you know. So it's so important. For one,
I personally did not grow up seeing people like myself
anywhere on any screen or in music or you know,
anything like that. So there's a lot of people who
struggle with that. I haven't. I didn't. I always just
felt like, you know what you are, who you are.
I always felt like I was special. I also was
(29:08):
never like shunned or put down about my sexuality either,
you know. So I don't share a lot of the
same experience that a lot of you know, people of
my community do, And for that reason, I just want
to make sure that I am properly representing the young
women that you know come behind me. You know. I
want you to stand into who you are. You don't
(29:30):
have to be whatever, you could be absolutely skilled as
you want to be in whatever you're doing and present
how it's comfortable for you, you know, And I think
that's important and that topic alone is something that we're
having a lot these days, you know, just representation and
acceptance and the freedom to just be so important these days.
So I want to I always want to stand on
(29:52):
that side of the fence, you know, and encouraging people
to just be yourself. And I've had even though I'm woman,
I've absolutely had men, you know, who are in relationships
with women who have found their identity in me, you know,
and just chose to listen. I'm being honest and I'm
(30:13):
leaving my marriage and I actually don't like women, and
I thought this is what I had to do, and
you know, but whatever, you need to make the best
step for yourself. If I can do that, I'm so happy.
Tom Well.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I think so many people aspire to that. They want
to have confidence in who they are. And it doesn't
matter if you're a man, a woman, anything in between.
I mean, if I am following you and I'm struggling
with who I am, I'm going to see you being
your true self and say, oh my god, like, how
do I get to that point? And in many ways
you are a pioneer, because yes, we've made a lot
(30:47):
of progress in twenty twenty four, but there's a lot
of work to be done, and.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
That's just one year and this really has been this
has been the year of it so far.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, but there's work to do and you're in many
ways leading the charge, you know, and one of the
people that are showing just being who you are is okay.
So I hope, I hope that you never forget that
what you're doing extends beyond the art to the music,
the acting. It's also just being yourself in a business
and in a world where people so badly need to
(31:20):
see that is making a huge difference, which I hope
and imagine must feel kind of good, right.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yeah, And to be honest, like my it's not something
that is at the forefront of my mind all the time,
but my girlfriend absolutely reminds me all the time just
how important and bigger what I'm doing is, you know,
outside of, like you said, being on the screen or
making music. Like there's actually just so many people that
(31:48):
look to me for many different reputations, you know what
I'm saying, And I just happen to be someone who's
who's happy to do it, you know. So I love
the any chance I get to talk. And I went out.
I was at a film festival in Miami, and I
went to an event and I almost like I went
to the I went inside maybe five minutes, went to
(32:11):
the bathroom, never made it to the bathroom. I ended
up in the hallway talking to a group of four people,
same conversation you and I are having to the end
of the event before I knew where everybody was walking out,
and I was like, shit, missed it, you know, But
I actually I have more pleasure and in more enjoyable
times standing there talking to It was three women, you know,
(32:32):
three yeah, three women and two men that I was
talking to just the entire time about representation, about this industry,
and you know, just confidence and being yourself and you know,
the work that you put in and timing and things
like that. And I just that's what I enjoy. That's
why I feel like I'm chosen to do it. And
it's not for any other accolade.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I think when you go into this industry and your
artistry with a bigger purpose, that's that's when a some
of the best magic happens.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
With your work.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
But b it keeps you grounded to keep doing what
you're doing, knowing there's more to it than just you. Right,
It puts it all off of you, and it doesn't
feel so for lack of a better word, selfish, even
though it's not really selfish, but it feels more like
I'm sharing my gifts with the world for the better,
which is exactly what you're doing, which is awesome. But
at the same time, you probably need like your own
(33:30):
time to deal with the things going on in your life.
And mental health is such a big crisis in our
world right now, and you know, people are just starting
to talk about it more and more. But how do
you take care of you? Like, how do you take
care of your mind and your spirit in such a
crazy career and being someone that helps so many people,
like you got to replenish your own cup too.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, I've actually I used to live in a space,
you know, feeling like I had to be just present
in the career of it all, and I'm a celebrity
and I'm an entertainer, Like I felt like I had
to always be that and it couldn't turn off, you know.
And I finally have gotten to a point now within
(34:13):
like the past year, where I'm like, no, I'm going
to take time and disconnect from that, you know, when
I need to. When I'm in it, I'm in it.
When I'm not, I'm not, you know. So these days
it's just completely disconnecting from that when I feel the
need to and finding now, you know what it is
I like to do, and what it is that makes
(34:34):
me happy, and what it is that brings me peace
and calmness, you know what I mean. Like, I'm actively
still learning those things. So I don't have a you know,
a laundry list of stuff that I do to take
care of myself because I'm actually just figuring it out
right now. Because for so long I thought that I
had to be just like in everything, everywhere, all the time,
(34:59):
you know. So now I'm like, I'm actually just exhausted
with that, and I do want to take better care
of myself. So that's the journey I'm on now. Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
I love that being in touch with what you need.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
I feel like it is sometimes the hardest first step
to just like stop and say, wait a minute, this
is what I need and I might not know how
to get there right now, but I'm going to figure
it out. So I think that's that's an important thing.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
And I also feel an obligated you know, I was
feeling like this strong sense of obligation, you know, like,
this is what you do, what are you doing it
for if you don't want to do all the things
with it? And I'm like, is that really necessary?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
You know, and that I you know, I landed at
a place where it's not it's not necessary.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
You know.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
I absolutely can take the time for myself and do
what I want to do and do the things that
truly make me happy. So I'm grateful that I've come
to that realization and I actually have the time to
figure it out. So that's what I'm doing. So any
of my spare time outside of like what I need
to be doing professionally, I'm just you know, just figuring
out ways to make myself better and to love myself
(36:04):
better and you know, make myself happier.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Good for you, Good for you.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
That's that's only going to serve you in every beautiful way, mind, body,
spirit going forward. So I love that you have that awareness,
which is so important, Breeze. I could talk to you
for like four more hours because I just I love
the advice you give. I love the perspective you share.
I love how grounded you are. It's always exciting for
me when I bring people on these shows to really
(36:29):
peel back be celebrity persona and get to know someone
a little better. And it's so fulfilling as an interviewer
to actually feel like, oh cool, I have a good
idea of who this girl is and she's a badass.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
I really like that.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
And I wrap up every episode with a question based
off the title of the show, and that question is,
what is one thing you've never said before? I know
you've done a lot of interviews, you put a lot
out there. You have such a big heart, so you do.
You share a lot, But is there something that you
can think of that you haven't shared before.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I would say that I never shared the truth that
I have never loved myself properly. I've never said that.
I've never even said it out loud. This was my
first time saying it. It's always it's about a year
old thought and just to continue on what you do
(37:29):
to take care of yourself and mental health and things
like that. Like that's what led me to that figuring
that out, the journey of loving myself better and not
being so accessible to everything in everybody, you know, kind
of just going inside and shutting the door sometimes and
(37:51):
just really taking care of yourself and then going out
when you're ready, you know, Like that's the journey I'm
on now. So no, I've never I never said it
one two, never admitted that you know, or even new
or acknowledged it. It's all new to me right now.
But it's a part of my life that I'm dealing
with now, but that I'm also happy to share in
(38:15):
knowing that it's one of those things that I'm sure
there's somebody watching going through the same thing.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
When was the moment where you realized that, when you
when you thought, oh my god, I don't think I've
ever really loved myself.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I would say last year April May of last year,
I just I woke up one morning and I just
looked in the mirror and I just hated everything. Hated
what was around me, hated what my personal life was,
the relationship I was in. I didn't like any of it.
And I was like, what are you doing? Why are
(38:50):
you doing it? What part of all of these things
that I'm now seeing in the mirror in this one moment,
what about all these things are good for you? And
none of it was? And I was like, wow, Like
it was just it was sad. It was hurtful, it
was painful. It was a painful thing to get through.
(39:11):
I would say that today way further past that, just
heavy feeling of it all than I was last year,
but still gradually working at it every single day. But
it was just the realization that nothing I was doing
was for my benefit or for my good or was
(39:33):
filling my cup.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
For lack of bad words, And did you feel that
most of your life but suppressed that until it just
you couldn't suppress that any longer A year ago.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, I think that, you know. I just in that
moment I realized that my cup was empty. I felt
depleted in every way emotionally, mentally, physically. I was like,
what am I doing? What am I doing? And that
was a hard question, and I had to ask myself
in the realization of everything around me that I mentioned,
(40:06):
it was very hard to accept. But for some reason
I was just like, I'm not doing any of it.
I don't have an explanation, I don't even know why.
I don't have nothing to talk about. I'm just not
doing it. And I have not looked back since that day.
So now I'm just like forward thinking, forward movement only
(40:30):
if it's not. And again, I have my own stuff
that I'm still dealing with, but I'm not doing that anymore,
you know what I mean. And it absolutely has to
be beneficial to me. And I have to be able
to replenish myself and energize myself and make myself happy
and love myself, you know, at a certain level before
I expect somebody else to, you know. So that's what
(40:51):
I'm working on. Now.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
That's amazing that you share that, because I think people
look at you and they say she has success and
things hit show after hit show, and it's so popular
and has millions of social media followers. But you, at
the end of the day, weren't happy, right that in
that moment.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Let me take something happy. What you just said was
the hardest pill for me to swallow, because the perception
of who I was or who people think I am,
even now you know what I'm saying, had not matched
my reality. So I also felt like I can't even
do that anymore. So if I can't sit here and
(41:32):
talk to you as a friend and like be honest
with you, then we actually just can't have a conversation,
you know what I mean. So a lot of the
oh my god, you're this and oh it's that. Oh
my god, you did congratulate and I was like, I
want to hear it, you know, and it became uncomfortable,
you know, like, no, like, how how do I go?
(41:54):
How am I the person that people look up to
so much? People think I got all the answers and
I do all the things, and I'm just the best
of this and the best of that. I'm like, I
ain't shit, not like in a crazy way, but I'm
just like, you know, I'm coming to all these realizations
about myself and this is the exact opposite of what
people are thinking, you know, about me. And I'm like,
(42:16):
not that I don't possess any of those things, but
in totality, I'm sorry, no, you know, and the bad
parts were outweighing the good, and I'm like, I have
to make a change, you know. And I'm happy to
share along my journey because I'm interested to see what
(42:40):
part of that helps people too, you know what I mean,
Because I'm like, I can't be the only one. Can't
be the only one, you know what I mean. So
I'm happy to and you know, it's a very vulnerable
time for me, as well, but I'm okay, Like I
feel like I have someone who absolutely loves and protects me,
you know, so I feel safe, you know, and being
(43:03):
able to be comfortable in my vulnerability. And that's so
important too, like the people you have around you, you know,
especially if you're if you have a partner in an
intimate way of some sort, you know, that's so important.
And that's kind of where it starts, because you go outside,
but you have to come home every day. You know.
It's like the person you'll deal with the most. So
I've had the luxury of having a special person that
(43:26):
has helped me through all this, but it hasn't been
It hasn't been easy, you know. But I'm still like
standing strong in the pursuance of my own happiness.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
And that's powerful too.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
You're not sitting here saying, you know, Tommy, I felt
that way a year ago. It's something I felt my
whole life and suppressed it until I couldn't it any longer.
But now I'm good, everything's great. You're like, no, I'm
still working on my shit and I don't even know
what it all means or why I totally felt that way,
And I'm trying to figure that out day by day.
And that's an important message too, is it's okay, Like
(43:57):
there's no time limit on it, Like take time to
figure out who the hell you are, right, I feel like.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
Things are going to depending on situations, Like things are
going to arise at any given moment, and there's always
going to be something that you're going to have to face,
deal with it, sort out and figure out how you're
going to move forward. Like I don't think it all
happens in one shot, Like here it is shits and shambles.
Figure it out, like no, things are going to keep
(44:23):
coming and keep coming up, you know what I mean.
So it's easier said, so I try to say it.
It's truthfully not easy, but just truthfully speaking, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Well, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
I think that's a very important message to put out,
and I'm glad you're at a place today where while
you still have things to figure out, you do love
yourself and you know, you realize that you belong here,
you should be here, you should be doing the things
you're doing, and you deserve it all. And you'll figure
out more and more about yourself as you keep going.
But I think that's a really cool message to put out,
(44:56):
especially from an outsider looking in when you think she
can never feel that way. I think that's really really cool, Breezy.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Yeah, I just I adore you.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
After talking to you, I'm so happy for your success,
and it's really cool to hear more about who you are.
And I feel like, hopefully this interview gave you a
different space to talk about some different things, and I
know I so enjoyed it, and I think this conversation
will help a lot of people out there.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Yeah, I did. I appreciate you. I appreciate you, know,
just you asking the real questions, you know, because so
much of these type of things are just so surface
level when the answers are like premeditated and it's like
that at you know, But I appreciate you truly. Thank well, Thank.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
You, Thank you for joining from Paris. You're in Paris still, right, Yeah,
which is, by the way, the city I got engaged
in so forever a special place.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
In my heart.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yes, I love it very much. But thank you. I
hope we get to hang out in person in the
near future. Keep killing it.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
I'll be watching your star continue to rise and explode.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
In the best ways possible.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
All right, my friend talks soon.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
All Right.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglisi at iHeartRadio
and by me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(46:29):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario.
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tammy Diderio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Today's guest is full.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Of heart and full of soul, which is my favorite
kind of person to chat with because the conversation is
so real and meaningful and personal.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh, I loved it so much.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Powerhouse rapper and actress Breezy joins me today and man,
we cover it all.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
So.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Breezy rose to worldwide.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Fame playing Freeda on the hit Fox drama Empire, working
alongside the brilliant Taraji p Henson and Terrence Howard.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
This show was so good. Fast forward to today.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
She currently stars in the CW hit series All American,
which is in its sixth season.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
The one hundredth episode of All American airs of this summer,
which is an incredible milestone in the TV and film space,
and that just shows the staying power that this series has.
It means so much to the fandom. From the streets
of Philadelphia to the spot light of Hollywood, Freezy has
easily one of the most interesting stories that I've come across.
(01:05):
She started as a barber, inheriting the craft from her
father and her grandfather before a chance encounter with a
former client that led her to the opportunity of a lifetime.
I love her story because it just goes to show
that if you have the faith, the dots in your
life will connect in the ways that they are meant to.
So let's see if we can get Breezy to say
(01:28):
something that she has never said before.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Freezy, how you doing, my friend? It's so good to
see you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I'm good. I'm doing well. Enjoying Paris, enjoying the weather,
the air, traffic, the people, not really being able to
communicate properly with them, but you know, making it.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
That's the best.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I like when you're kind of forced outside your comfort zone, right,
it teaches you a thing or two.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yeah, I was like, you get to a place that
you've never been. I've never been to Paris, and you realize, like,
I don't know anything. I don't know I don't know
which way to go, I don't know what to eat,
I don't know how to ask for what I want eat.
I mean, I don't speak the language.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
There's something refreshing about that in this day and age.
So I love to get outside our comfort zones, as
I like to say. But Breezy, it's such a pleasure
hanging out with you today. I'm a big fan of
your work. I love everything you stand for. I love
your story. It's so interesting in how you got from
essentially a point A to where you are today. But
I want to bring it back for a minute because
something that I connect with you on is my husband's
(02:34):
grandfather was a barber, and wow, some of his best
experiences with his grandfather were growing up and watching him
cut people's hair. And it's such a dear thing for him.
And I know that that's your background. And you started
off doing on Philadelphia and then Atlanta. So before we
dive into how you got to where you are today,
(02:54):
what about that craftsmanship did you love?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Like why did you say? Oh, man, I want to
get involved in that.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It was actually a skill that came natural. And you know,
I want to say it was just because of the
many people in my family who did it before me.
Somehow I feel like that thing happens, you know, But
for me, it was just the people and being you know,
of service and being personable, and you know, it's like
(03:21):
it's such an important job. It's almost like a therapist,
you know what I mean, Like this person comes in
and they trust you with their look. I mean, this
is they leave out feeling better than they came or worse,
you know, and that kind of it's like a weight
that kind of sits on your shoulders. So to be
able to have clients that were able to every time
(03:45):
leave me feeling better than they came was like, I
just got so much joy from that and also just
like making people look good, you know, And it was fun.
And I've always been artistic and I love to draw
and things like that, so to cut hair, it's like
it's an art to me, you know, So it was
always fun. Everybody has different size shaped heads and different
(04:06):
types of hair and people want different things, you know,
so it was never it never got old for me,
Like it was always exciting every time. You know, different
personalities coming in the shop every day, and not just
the people that are coming to me, but you know
to barbershops that people everywhere, you know. So it was
just an experience a lot of personalities, a lot of
people that came from different walks of life, you know, backgrounds,
(04:30):
and you know, everybody obviously in any type of salon
just have different opinions, you know what I mean. So
that was that was fun. It was interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Do you walk around now judging people's hair? Are you like, ooh,
bad cut. I could have done that?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Absolutely? Absolutely, And then I also see people where I'm like, man,
like I would love to cut his hair. You know,
there is a such thing as having like a great
head of hair. You know that's like worth cutting, you know.
So yeah, on both sides absolutely, like look at people
and say, you know what, I would love to cut
their hair, or like, dag, who did that? You know
(05:05):
what I'm saying, Yeah, it happens all the time. Can't
help it.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's so funny. Yeah, I would imagine you once you
have the eye for that and you have the skill
for it, you can't really turn that off, you know,
No I can't.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
And it's like probably like the first thing I look at,
it's like the first thing I noticed, Like if it's
a good cut, I'm like, wow, that fade is amazing,
Like whoever did that? Or I'm like, wow, they just
took off way too much hair because you can always
tell by how much grows back. You're like, dang, they
took off way too much, you know. So I'm always
it's like I said, it's like the first thing I
(05:37):
noticed when I especially when I see men, first thing
I look at.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh God, no pressure, I hope I'm having a good
hair day to day.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
No, you're good. Here's beautiful. You're beautiful.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
You're fine, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Well, it's no surprise you're so creative and artistic in
that space given what you do, you know, for your
career with rapping and with acting and what I love
is you know, you started with being a barber, and
that led you to cut some pretty influential people's hair, right,
Like did I see Acon and Chris Brown?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Were they some of the folks you ended up cutting
once you got to.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Up Chris Brown? No, I've never cut him, Luducris was
some cut a few actors here and there, Woodie McClain. Yeah,
but that was all like that was all before, Like
it was it was early on. You know, I was
I was young. I was like late teens, early twenties.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Oh subtle flat, So my late teens I was cutting
these superstars hair.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
You know what. I just happened to be in an
area in Atlanta where you know, it's almost like working
in a barbershop, maybe on Hollywood Boulevard or in West Hollywood,
Like it's one place that when you come to LA
you're going to experience one, two or both of those places,
you know what I mean, Like having a barbershop dead
(06:53):
in the Middle West Hollywood. You're going to see some people,
you know what I mean, You're gonna meet independent on
your skill level, you may get a chance to interact
with those people. And I just happened too. So it
was nice.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Well that's exactly what happened, right. You had you had a.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Former client or a client who kind of presented you
with this opportunity in the acting space, is that right.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, he was a he was a client for a while.
He was also a producer. He was already like kind
of navigating the world of Hollywood. I wasn't really like
privy to it like that, you know, not not in
great detail as I am now, But yeah, he was,
and he just he he made a call to me
and to see if I was interested because there was
(07:36):
a role and something. It was about music, and I
was just like I didn't really understand what he was saying,
but I like did my best, and yeah, that's how
that's how it happened. Happened very quickly. But that was
how it happened. It did start with a client of mine,
which is interesting because you never know, like you just
never know who's going to be that bridge to get
you from point A to point B or like you
(07:57):
know where that's going to come from.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Yeah, And I don't believe in accidents. I mean, I
think everything's kind of lined up in your life for
a reason. And it's so interesting that you started in
this profession that you genuinely loved and it was so creative,
and you learn from people you love, and it naturally
led you to something else that you love, and you know,
a whole career in the arts, and that first opportunity
I'm referring to as Empire, which was at the time
(08:19):
one of the hottest shows in the world. I remember
religiously watching it week after week, back back before the
days of streaming, you know, you'd wait every week.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I was watching it before before it happened. I was
like what, because he asked me if I heard of it,
and I was like, of course, everybody's heard of it,
Like what you know, because we had TV hadn't seen
nothing like that in a long time, and there was
so many stars on that show. It was like, yeah,
everybody was tuned in.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, I fell in love with Taraji. I'm like, oh
my god, who is this actress? She's so phenomenal and
everything about the show I loved. But most people don't
get their big break on this epically popular show. So
before you joined and once you started working, did you
have any fear? Were you nervous?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Like? How did you just dive into all of that?
Because I can be a lot for somebody.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Initially, you know, I was nervous, and I think it
was just because being in a room full of so
many well seasoned actors like Taraji, like Terrence, Chris Rock,
Gabby Citabey, she had just came off of Precious, you know.
These people were like have done big things, and I
was just kind of like, wow, like I've honestly, truly,
(09:27):
I've done a lot of things, but I've never done this.
So what am I here to do? You know what
I mean? But I was just it was definitely a
watch and learn type of environment for me. I was
learning as I went along, especially as far as the
craft was concerned. Once I finally got the time, like
because filming was so immediate and the schedule was vigorous,
(09:47):
and it was just everything was back to back and
I'm trying to figure that whole thing out. I eventually,
you know, got into acting classes like let me understand
like the technical side of this, because I felt like
I came in to it just exposing my natural personality,
you know, in lending that to the situation. But I
(10:07):
felt like I wanted to actually know what I was doing.
But at first I was very nervous. You know, I
was just kind of like, but you know, everybody made
me so comfortable, and most importantly, the director and the
actors that I were working alongside, they made me feel
very comfortable. They didn't make me feel like I was
new year.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
So that helped a lot, and a lot of people
in that situation would kind of let fear take over,
and it can be very paralyzing. It could affect the
quality of your work, and it could make you not
want to go to work. But you hat to show
up every day, learning lines, learning raps. I mean, there
was so much you had to learn so quickly. Was
that an easy process for you? I know you've always
(10:47):
written and done your wrapping, but being on a set
with that pressure, like did you kind of pick it
all up right away.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I just was like, I'm here, I have to do it,
Like it would be more embarrassing to kind of overthink
it mess up than anything. To me, the music part
was easy because I did have the pleasure and privilege
of creating my own music for that character. So that
was already like in my mind, that was the part
of it that I was very fluent in, you know
(11:15):
what I mean. So I was like, oh, when it
comes to performing or you know, anything, creating the music, like,
I can do that with my eyes closed, you know.
It was more so doing the scenes and cannot actually
remember these lines and am I is it? How does
it look? Because when you're doing music, we can hear
it back and be like, oh that was a good
or that wasn't good. Let me do another take. But
(11:36):
when you're acting, you don't get that pleasure. You know.
It's kind of like you're at the director's discretion. So
if they're like, do it again, you gotta do it again.
If they're like, oh it was good, then you don't
get to do it again, whether you know it's good
or you know it wasn't, you know what I mean.
So it was just it was different, But it didn't
take long for me to kind of get comfortable in
(11:56):
the performance of it, you know what I mean. I
was still like concerned of what it would look like
because I mean, I had filmed I think the show
premiered in September. I had filmed the first episode in July,
but I had not seen what I did until September.
So I went all that time. And that's how TV works.
You don't get to see it. You know, they're not
(12:18):
doing playback and here watch this. What do you think
is not happening? Like that? Everything's moving so fast. So
it was kind of like I was nervous, like for
the premiere, like I don't know how I did. I
don't even know what I look like, you know what
I'm saying, because I go through this air makeup and
I'm wearing these clothes and this is what they want.
You know, it's just like, Okay, I'm here. A little
bit of nervous is there, But you know, I quickly
(12:41):
got into it, quickly got into it. There was too
many like big names around me to like crumble in
that moment. That would have been embarrassing and I probably
wouldn't be here, you.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Know, There's something to be said too for your first
kind of major opportunity being on such a big scale,
because like you said, you don't really have time to
stop and think.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
You just say, I gotta do this.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I'm gonna look like an idiot, so I better just
buckle down and do the best work I can. That's
kind of been similar in my career. I've had big
opportunities presented as some of the first ones, and same thing.
It's like, there's no time to worry about it. You
just got to get to get out and do it.
But I'm even more impressed knowing that you were writing
your own wraps for that show too, because it's hard
(13:24):
enough learning your lines and being a new actor on
a new series, and then you have to throw that in.
Even though it's second nature for you, it's still a
lot more work.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
So that's yeah, that's balancing both of them absolutely, And
I would I would ask myself sometimes like how are
you remembering all these lines? How are you able to
do both? And I just like, I just at a
point I just stopped questioning myself. I'm like, the moment's here,
this is what you were called to do. You're here
(13:53):
to do it, you know. So I just I was thankful.
I was super grateful, and I just tried to like
focus and pay attend as much as I could because
I didn't, you know, my biggest fear had always been
like being unprepared, you know. So to get pulled into
something that I actually hadn't done enough like you know,
research or had enough knowledge of, to me was kind
(14:16):
of scary. It's like what it's like somebody handing your
car telling you to change the engine, and you've never
worked on a car in your life, you know what
I mean. So I kind of just took everything in
stride and was like patient with myself too, because you know,
I got to a point where I was a little
hard on myself and it was affecting how I showed
up at work. So I just like had to find
(14:36):
ways to let that go, like let it go. Be
present in the moment. The time is now, you got
to do it. You were called to do it, Just
show up and do it.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
And I imagine when you start off, you're just kind
of taking it day by day. You're getting the work done,
You're looking at the next day of work. It's just
kind of this machine you're hoping you're doing Okay, you're
not seeing the work, so it's like, oh, man, I
hope I'm proud of of all of this when it
comes out. But do you remember was there a moment
for you on that set that you thought, Okay, you
know what, I've arrived. I know I'm doing my damn thing,
(15:07):
and I feel pretty good and I'm now I'm cruising.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
So the role, initially just for context, was only supposed
to run throughout four episodes, right, So by the time,
you know, I felt like in the beginning, Okay, I'm
going to start here and this is where it stops,
you know what I mean, So like, let me make
the most of that. Before I knew it, I was
(15:32):
on like episode sixteen and I was like, oh, I'm here.
They keep writing more and more and more, and they
want me to do more and more and more. And
then they wanted Lee Daniels had created in that timeframe
the show Star, and they're like, they want you to
go on the show Star as well, and you need
(15:53):
to do this on that show. And I was like,
I obviously couldn't do it because of contractual reasons, but
I was just like, oh, this is it, and then
in the interer of that, I'm getting calls to do
this film. I'm getting calls to do that film. And
I was like, oh, I'm doing something right. Somebody's seeing something,
you know. So I was like, okay, you know, but
(16:13):
I didn't take it any less seriously, you know what
I mean, Like I didn't develop some cocky, you know, attitude.
I was just like, Okay, you thought it was going
to be over, It's not over, you know. And from
that moment, it just kept going, kept going, and I
was like, Okay, I'm in it. I'm really in it.
This is not a one way thing, like it's not
(16:34):
here today, going tomorrow, like this is still going on
and on. So and that was years.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Ago, and fast forward to today with All American, which
is in its sixth season.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
You play Coop.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I mean, what do you love about playing that role
and what can you most relate to?
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I like that this role in you know, it's crazy
because especially newcomers, you don't really spend this amount of
time on two hit shows back to back. That's one, right,
so two Coop is like a softer version of what
(17:15):
I played on Empire. In my opinion, she's really softer
and we get to see more of her personality and
she's not so angry. You know, that other character was
very angry. So I liked the likeness of Coop. I
love that she has, you know, friends, and she's got
like a village and there's like decent camaraderie there and
it's fun. It kind of reminds me of like when
(17:37):
I was younger watching Save by the Bell. You got
a group of kids in high school, like that was
fun for us to watch. I was happy to be
a representation for that particular generation, which was our target audience,
you know what I mean, this generation now, you know.
And it was fun doing all of it was fun.
The characters that I played with are you know, the
(17:58):
rest of my cast, like everybody was fun. It really
felt like we were in high school, you know what
I'm saying. So I like that. It was like I
like that I was able to prepare enough in all
of my work before this to be able to intentionally
add what I wanted to add to Kop, you know,
in regards to her sexuality, in regards to her personality,
(18:19):
her relationship dynamic with her best friend Spencer on the show,
like I was I felt like I was, I had
done enough of the work to be able to give
my input on this particular character. So that's what I was.
You know, makes me most happy about about playing her
because of the input I do have with the character.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
It's a character that means so much to so many people.
The visibility alone means so much to so many people,
and the show does too. Why do you think this
show has resonated in such a big way because people
really do feel reflected and seen through this.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I think without you know, obviously, this is not a
X rated show. You know, we are on primetime television.
We're not like you know, on Showtime or HBO or
anything like that, where we can be explicit in our
topics and stuff like that. But we've been able to
touch on all the things that are so strongly talked
(19:12):
about today in an easily digestible form. You know, for
people that was sexuality, that was depression and self care,
self awareness, self help, that was the opioid epidemic, you know,
things like that, things that as teenagers, and again speaking
(19:34):
on the characters, you know, these are things that it's
not going to change no matter what generation you talk to.
High school always had the same type of issues. We
all ran into the same things, not feeling as confident
about ourselves, or being peer pressured, or leaning on substances
like alcohol or you know, or even possibly doing it.
(19:56):
You didn't necessarily have to because I didn't, you know,
but we all knew somebody that was dealing with something.
So the way that they've been able to take, you know,
such important conversations and put them at the forefront of
this show, I think is what made it made it
what it is now because our target audience needed a
representation for themselves, and that's what each of these characters
(20:18):
I feel has been even you know, Jordan Baker and
him and his sister being biracial. That was also a thing,
you know, that was happening. We had this Black Lives
Matter movement, We had all this stuff with the police
and black men and stuff happened, and we had there
were children in the world that did not know what
side to land on. Am I really black? Am I
(20:40):
really white? Am I really this? And I really that?
You know? But we were able to share a story
that if you were needing help, this gave it to you.
If you needed a voice or a little encouragement, These
stories were able to give you that, So I think
that's why it's been and also for like parents and
people that have to raise children like that or peers
(21:00):
of children. It kind of gave you a birds that
I view of what these people may be going through,
whether they talk to you about it or not, you know,
So it created empathy across the board for a number
of people and understanding of self to the people who
are actually dealing with these issues. And I think, you know,
entertainment in itself, especially television, has just it's kind of
(21:21):
finding its way back to a real place, and there
is an understanding that we need real stories because there
is real life happening outside and it's not just Hollywood
is not just glitz and glamour, and it's not all
made to look like it's so perfect, you know what
I mean. Like we do have a duty of being
of service to people, especially being entertainers, you know, so
(21:44):
and our writers, our showrunner and Catchy Carroll, she's very
adamant about that, you know, just telling these stories properly
and making sure that people feel seen and heard when
watching anything that she's attached to all American being, you know,
one that we both you know, feel that way.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
About well your cast, and certainly you are making many
many people feel that way. And it must be very
prideful moment for you to be a part of a
show that will forever kind of change the conversation and
the landscape and not teach people in a I'm you know,
almighty and higher than you, but welcome people into a conversation,
(22:22):
which I think is what your show does so brilliantly.
It's like, no, no, no, just come join it, like let's
all talk about these things together. And I think that
is so rare to find.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, because most people, you know, they move through life
never saying anything, you know, and that's where that's where
the depression comes from. That's where the substance abuse comes from.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
You know.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
It's not feeling like you have a voice anywhere, or
not feeling seen or heard by you know, the people
around you. And I think that the show more importantly
made those people a little more visible, you know, and
it made you know, a person looking at them, invite
them into the conversation, or start a conversation with them,
(23:03):
or just try to get them to open up a
little bit, you know. So I feel like it did
a lot for so many different people. But you know,
I'm very proud of that. I'm very proud of that because,
like I said, I feel like this my purpose is
to be of service and whatever I'm doing, you know,
so I'm happy to help. And I'm definitely the person
(23:23):
that will engage with most people that will message me
about their story and talk about what they've gone through
and you know, and how my work has helped them,
especially on this show.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I love that. I love that so much.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I'm all about putting out messages that matter, especially in
our business. So the fact that you can keep doing
work that does that is amazing. And you strike me
as very much an old soul and I feel that way.
I've always felt that way. You just seem so wise
and so forward thinking, and I feel like you've always
probably been that way. That's just my guess from talking
(23:58):
to you thus far. Is there something over the last
few years that you've really learned about yourself, like a
great life lesson or something that's kind of helping you
as you enter the next chapter of your life.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
I think I've learned over the past few years that
I have so much more to learn, you know, I do.
I tell myself all the time. I'm like, I feel
like an old man, you know, Like everything I do,
I'm like, I'm such an old man. And it may
be the old soul of it all, but yeah, I
just feeling like I don't know everything. And you know,
(24:33):
I was that I had gotten to a point in
my life where I lived a certain part of my
life feeling like I know a lot, you know. But
at this point, I'm like, you know what, I'm opening
myself up more I have to, you know, and being
more receptive to things like that. That's where I'm at
in my life right now. Like I'm just I'm open
to different perspectives, very open to honesty from others, honesty
(24:57):
within myself, you know. And a lot of times would
you skip through like oh it's working, Oh I'm good,
I'm making money, it's okay, you know what I'm saying.
And I don't feel like that. I feel like, you know,
if you want to progress in a particular way in life,
you have to open yourself up a little bit, you know,
in each each level of your life, you know. So
(25:17):
that's where I'm at. I'm just like, you know, so
much more to learn. I'm open to most things you
know that are beneficial to me obviously, but yeah, I'm
I'm just open. That's where I'm at.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Well, that's why you're going to have a long career.
I think if you're open and you're willing to keep
growing and change, that seems to be the secret saw
so many people miss. And it's like, I don't want
to be who I was yesterday or last year, Like
I want to evolve. And you know, you seem like
you're the type who's always trying to better yourself personally
and professionally, and I think that really is a testament
to the work we see you do because it's it's
(25:50):
nothing short of amazing and it's going to only keep
soaring in every single direction that you want to go in,
which is really cool, especially in an industry like Hollywood
where it's so hard sometimes it's so hard to to
kind of be yourself and you have to fight for
it and you have to get to a place where
you're comfortable with being yourself. Have you found it hard
to maintain authenticity throughout your career in Hollywood?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Well, First, I appreciate everything you just said about me.
Thank you so much. Okay, So two parts of that answer.
I did not used to feel like that. I'm like,
you know, I came exactly as I was. But you know,
I shortly learned that being who you are isn't necessarily
easily digestible for people. You know, And once you get
(26:36):
in Hollywood, you realize that, you know, are some of
these people real or are they not? Or why is
everybody so unhappy? And why is there so much drug
abuse or substance abuse of alcohol abuse? Like why is
there like people are miserable, you know what I mean?
And it's like, no, I'm not, but I just I
am who I am. Of course I want to be better,
(26:57):
but I think that the authenticity, true authenticity in Hollywood
comes with a price. It comes with a price because
you know, you being who you are could get you uninvited.
You know, we don't want to do certain things around
him or her because of who you are, you know
what I mean? I don't know. And there's a lot
(27:18):
of pretending going on, and a lot of people are
doing things they don't want to do. You're in places
you don't want to be, talking to people you don't
even like, you know what I'm saying. So I think
that there's just I don't know for some people like myself,
for me to be authentic as everything. And I don't
want to be uptight in pretending in any situation that
(27:40):
I'm in, you know what I mean. I don't maybe
I won't be like my wild and crazy self and
like just blurt out stuff, you know. But I don't
absolutely want to have to put on a mask, you know.
I don't want to have to put on a mask
to be accepted in a room.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
That's a reminder I think so many people need, not
just in Hollywood, in any career profession where people want
to put you in a box or want to see
a version of you that's not really who you are.
And you're like, wait a minute, no, no, like receive
me for who I am. And I know in your case,
it's really important for you to put out the message
and the importance of being who you are. And you
(28:17):
say you're proudly a masculine presenting gay women, right, and
you want to see more representation of that out there,
so talk to me about that.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Well, I just feel like, who would I be if
I wasn't really that, If I wasn't really who I
was saying I was, Who would I be to the
young women and men as well who are watching me
based off the work that I'm doing, Like it's almost
like I'm giving false advice, like yeah, pretend to be
this when it matters, and when it doesn't, just forget
(28:46):
about it, you know. So it's so important. For one,
I personally did not grow up seeing people like myself
anywhere on any screen or in music or you know,
anything like that. So there's a lot of people who
struggle with that. I haven't. I didn't. I always just
felt like, you know what you are, who you are.
I always felt like I was special. I also was
(29:08):
never like shunned or put down about my sexuality either,
you know. So I don't share a lot of the
same experience that a lot of you know, people of
my community do, And for that reason, I just want
to make sure that I am properly representing the young
women that you know come behind me. You know. I
want you to stand into who you are. You don't
(29:30):
have to be whatever, you could be absolutely skilled as
you want to be in whatever you're doing and present
how it's comfortable for you, you know, And I think
that's important and that topic alone is something that we're
having a lot these days, you know, just representation and
acceptance and the freedom to just be so important these days.
So I want to I always want to stand on
(29:52):
that side of the fence, you know, and encouraging people
to just be yourself. And I've had even though I'm woman,
I've absolutely had men, you know, who are in relationships
with women who have found their identity in me, you know,
and just chose to listen. I'm being honest and I'm
(30:13):
leaving my marriage and I actually don't like women, and
I thought this is what I had to do, and
you know, but whatever, you need to make the best
step for yourself. If I can do that, I'm so happy.
Tom Well.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I think so many people aspire to that. They want
to have confidence in who they are. And it doesn't
matter if you're a man, a woman, anything in between.
I mean, if I am following you and I'm struggling
with who I am, I'm going to see you being
your true self and say, oh my god, like, how
do I get to that point? And in many ways
you are a pioneer, because yes, we've made a lot
(30:47):
of progress in twenty twenty four, but there's a lot
of work to be done, and.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
That's just one year and this really has been this
has been the year of it so far.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, but there's work to do and you're in many
ways leading the charge, you know, and one of the
people that are showing just being who you are is okay.
So I hope, I hope that you never forget that
what you're doing extends beyond the art to the music,
the acting. It's also just being yourself in a business
and in a world where people so badly need to
(31:20):
see that is making a huge difference, which I hope
and imagine must feel kind of good, right.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yeah, And to be honest, like my it's not something
that is at the forefront of my mind all the time,
but my girlfriend absolutely reminds me all the time just
how important and bigger what I'm doing is, you know,
outside of, like you said, being on the screen or
making music. Like there's actually just so many people that
(31:48):
look to me for many different reputations, you know what
I'm saying, And I just happen to be someone who's
who's happy to do it, you know. So I love
the any chance I get to talk. And I went out.
I was at a film festival in Miami, and I
went to an event and I almost like I went
to the I went inside maybe five minutes, went to
(32:11):
the bathroom, never made it to the bathroom. I ended
up in the hallway talking to a group of four people,
same conversation you and I are having to the end
of the event before I knew where everybody was walking out,
and I was like, shit, missed it, you know, But
I actually I have more pleasure and in more enjoyable
times standing there talking to It was three women, you know,
(32:32):
three yeah, three women and two men that I was
talking to just the entire time about representation, about this industry,
and you know, just confidence and being yourself and you know,
the work that you put in and timing and things
like that. And I just that's what I enjoy. That's
why I feel like I'm chosen to do it. And
it's not for any other accolade.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I think when you go into this industry and your
artistry with a bigger purpose, that's that's when a some
of the best magic happens.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
With your work.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
But b it keeps you grounded to keep doing what
you're doing, knowing there's more to it than just you. Right,
It puts it all off of you, and it doesn't
feel so for lack of a better word, selfish, even
though it's not really selfish, but it feels more like
I'm sharing my gifts with the world for the better,
which is exactly what you're doing, which is awesome. But
at the same time, you probably need like your own
(33:30):
time to deal with the things going on in your life.
And mental health is such a big crisis in our
world right now, and you know, people are just starting
to talk about it more and more. But how do
you take care of you? Like, how do you take
care of your mind and your spirit in such a
crazy career and being someone that helps so many people,
like you got to replenish your own cup too.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, I've actually I used to live in a space,
you know, feeling like I had to be just present
in the career of it all, and I'm a celebrity
and I'm an entertainer, Like I felt like I had
to always be that and it couldn't turn off, you know.
And I finally have gotten to a point now within
(34:13):
like the past year, where I'm like, no, I'm going
to take time and disconnect from that, you know, when
I need to. When I'm in it, I'm in it.
When I'm not, I'm not, you know. So these days
it's just completely disconnecting from that when I feel the
need to and finding now, you know what it is
I like to do, and what it is that makes
(34:34):
me happy, and what it is that brings me peace
and calmness, you know what I mean. Like, I'm actively
still learning those things. So I don't have a you know,
a laundry list of stuff that I do to take
care of myself because I'm actually just figuring it out
right now. Because for so long I thought that I
had to be just like in everything, everywhere, all the time,
(34:59):
you know. So now I'm like, I'm actually just exhausted
with that, and I do want to take better care
of myself. So that's the journey I'm on now. Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
I love that being in touch with what you need.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
I feel like it is sometimes the hardest first step
to just like stop and say, wait a minute, this
is what I need and I might not know how
to get there right now, but I'm going to figure
it out. So I think that's that's an important thing.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
And I also feel an obligated you know, I was
feeling like this strong sense of obligation, you know, like,
this is what you do, what are you doing it
for if you don't want to do all the things
with it? And I'm like, is that really necessary?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
You know, and that I you know, I landed at
a place where it's not it's not necessary.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
You know.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
I absolutely can take the time for myself and do
what I want to do and do the things that
truly make me happy. So I'm grateful that I've come
to that realization and I actually have the time to
figure it out. So that's what I'm doing. So any
of my spare time outside of like what I need
to be doing professionally, I'm just you know, just figuring
out ways to make myself better and to love myself
(36:04):
better and you know, make myself happier.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Good for you, Good for you.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
That's that's only going to serve you in every beautiful way, mind, body,
spirit going forward. So I love that you have that awareness,
which is so important, Breeze. I could talk to you
for like four more hours because I just I love
the advice you give. I love the perspective you share.
I love how grounded you are. It's always exciting for
me when I bring people on these shows to really
(36:29):
peel back be celebrity persona and get to know someone
a little better. And it's so fulfilling as an interviewer
to actually feel like, oh cool, I have a good
idea of who this girl is and she's a badass.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
I really like that.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
And I wrap up every episode with a question based
off the title of the show, and that question is,
what is one thing you've never said before? I know
you've done a lot of interviews, you put a lot
out there. You have such a big heart, so you do.
You share a lot, But is there something that you
can think of that you haven't shared before.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I would say that I never shared the truth that
I have never loved myself properly. I've never said that.
I've never even said it out loud. This was my
first time saying it. It's always it's about a year
old thought and just to continue on what you do
(37:29):
to take care of yourself and mental health and things
like that. Like that's what led me to that figuring
that out, the journey of loving myself better and not
being so accessible to everything in everybody, you know, kind
of just going inside and shutting the door sometimes and
(37:51):
just really taking care of yourself and then going out
when you're ready, you know, Like that's the journey I'm
on now. So no, I've never I never said it
one two, never admitted that you know, or even new
or acknowledged it. It's all new to me right now.
But it's a part of my life that I'm dealing
with now, but that I'm also happy to share in
(38:15):
knowing that it's one of those things that I'm sure
there's somebody watching going through the same thing.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
When was the moment where you realized that, when you
when you thought, oh my god, I don't think I've
ever really loved myself.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I would say last year April May of last year,
I just I woke up one morning and I just
looked in the mirror and I just hated everything. Hated
what was around me, hated what my personal life was,
the relationship I was in. I didn't like any of it.
And I was like, what are you doing? Why are
(38:50):
you doing it? What part of all of these things
that I'm now seeing in the mirror in this one moment,
what about all these things are good for you? And
none of it was? And I was like, wow, Like
it was just it was sad. It was hurtful, it
was painful. It was a painful thing to get through.
(39:11):
I would say that today way further past that, just
heavy feeling of it all than I was last year,
but still gradually working at it every single day. But
it was just the realization that nothing I was doing
was for my benefit or for my good or was
(39:33):
filling my cup.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
For lack of bad words, And did you feel that
most of your life but suppressed that until it just
you couldn't suppress that any longer A year ago.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, I think that, you know. I just in that
moment I realized that my cup was empty. I felt
depleted in every way emotionally, mentally, physically. I was like,
what am I doing? What am I doing? And that
was a hard question, and I had to ask myself
in the realization of everything around me that I mentioned,
(40:06):
it was very hard to accept. But for some reason
I was just like, I'm not doing any of it.
I don't have an explanation, I don't even know why.
I don't have nothing to talk about. I'm just not
doing it. And I have not looked back since that day.
So now I'm just like forward thinking, forward movement only
(40:30):
if it's not. And again, I have my own stuff
that I'm still dealing with, but I'm not doing that anymore,
you know what I mean. And it absolutely has to
be beneficial to me. And I have to be able
to replenish myself and energize myself and make myself happy
and love myself, you know, at a certain level before
I expect somebody else to, you know. So that's what
(40:51):
I'm working on. Now.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
That's amazing that you share that, because I think people
look at you and they say she has success and
things hit show after hit show, and it's so popular
and has millions of social media followers. But you, at
the end of the day, weren't happy, right that in
that moment.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Let me take something happy. What you just said was
the hardest pill for me to swallow, because the perception
of who I was or who people think I am,
even now you know what I'm saying, had not matched
my reality. So I also felt like I can't even
do that anymore. So if I can't sit here and
(41:32):
talk to you as a friend and like be honest
with you, then we actually just can't have a conversation,
you know what I mean. So a lot of the
oh my god, you're this and oh it's that. Oh
my god, you did congratulate and I was like, I
want to hear it, you know, and it became uncomfortable,
you know, like, no, like, how how do I go?
(41:54):
How am I the person that people look up to
so much? People think I got all the answers and
I do all the things, and I'm just the best
of this and the best of that. I'm like, I
ain't shit, not like in a crazy way, but I'm
just like, you know, I'm coming to all these realizations
about myself and this is the exact opposite of what
people are thinking, you know, about me. And I'm like,
(42:16):
not that I don't possess any of those things, but
in totality, I'm sorry, no, you know, and the bad
parts were outweighing the good, and I'm like, I have
to make a change, you know. And I'm happy to
share along my journey because I'm interested to see what
(42:40):
part of that helps people too, you know what I mean,
Because I'm like, I can't be the only one. Can't
be the only one, you know what I mean. So
I'm happy to and you know, it's a very vulnerable
time for me, as well, but I'm okay, Like I
feel like I have someone who absolutely loves and protects me,
you know, so I feel safe, you know, and being
(43:03):
able to be comfortable in my vulnerability. And that's so
important too, like the people you have around you, you know,
especially if you're if you have a partner in an
intimate way of some sort, you know, that's so important.
And that's kind of where it starts, because you go outside,
but you have to come home every day. You know.
It's like the person you'll deal with the most. So
I've had the luxury of having a special person that
(43:26):
has helped me through all this, but it hasn't been
It hasn't been easy, you know. But I'm still like
standing strong in the pursuance of my own happiness.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
And that's powerful too.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
You're not sitting here saying, you know, Tommy, I felt
that way a year ago. It's something I felt my
whole life and suppressed it until I couldn't it any longer.
But now I'm good, everything's great. You're like, no, I'm
still working on my shit and I don't even know
what it all means or why I totally felt that way,
And I'm trying to figure that out day by day.
And that's an important message too, is it's okay, Like
(43:57):
there's no time limit on it, Like take time to
figure out who the hell you are, right, I feel like.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
Things are going to depending on situations, Like things are
going to arise at any given moment, and there's always
going to be something that you're going to have to face,
deal with it, sort out and figure out how you're
going to move forward. Like I don't think it all
happens in one shot, Like here it is shits and shambles.
Figure it out, like no, things are going to keep
(44:23):
coming and keep coming up, you know what I mean.
So it's easier said, so I try to say it.
It's truthfully not easy, but just truthfully speaking, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Well, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
I think that's a very important message to put out,
and I'm glad you're at a place today where while
you still have things to figure out, you do love
yourself and you know, you realize that you belong here,
you should be here, you should be doing the things
you're doing, and you deserve it all. And you'll figure
out more and more about yourself as you keep going.
But I think that's a really cool message to put out,
(44:56):
especially from an outsider looking in when you think she
can never feel that way. I think that's really really cool, Breezy.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Yeah, I just I adore you.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
After talking to you, I'm so happy for your success,
and it's really cool to hear more about who you are.
And I feel like, hopefully this interview gave you a
different space to talk about some different things, and I
know I so enjoyed it, and I think this conversation
will help a lot of people out there.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Yeah, I did. I appreciate you. I appreciate you, know,
just you asking the real questions, you know, because so
much of these type of things are just so surface
level when the answers are like premeditated and it's like
that at you know, But I appreciate you truly. Thank well, Thank.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
You, Thank you for joining from Paris. You're in Paris still, right, Yeah,
which is, by the way, the city I got engaged
in so forever a special place.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
In my heart.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yes, I love it very much. But thank you. I
hope we get to hang out in person in the
near future. Keep killing it.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
I'll be watching your star continue to rise and explode.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
In the best ways possible.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
All right, my friend talks soon.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
All Right.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglisi at iHeartRadio
and by me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(46:29):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario.
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