FULL SHOW: The Day We Had Secrets

Uncover the secrets behind awkward moments—like Uncle Johnny's tech fails, the ghost haunting Elvis’ home, or the time your caller’s wife’s BFF saw too much. From 'stashing' to late-night phone calls, we're spilling the secrets you never thought you'd hear.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Of courses of this program.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
We're pre recorded.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
What are you doing.

Speaker 4 (00:06):
Listening every morning?

Speaker 5 (00:08):
You guys are so different.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
You do become a hero by being normal.

Speaker 6 (00:17):
Let me just float something out there, May I please?
Got any got any secrets?

Speaker 7 (00:25):
Yes?

Speaker 8 (00:26):
Do it?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Should we do it?

Speaker 9 (00:28):
Yes?

Speaker 10 (00:29):
Dah.

Speaker 6 (00:30):
You know it's really interesting because Gandhi was saying she
just goes up to total strangers and will.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Ask that question. Got his secret?

Speaker 6 (00:36):
Yes, and without hesitation, they will give you some blood curdling,
hair curling secrets.

Speaker 8 (00:43):
You're like, what, it's shocking.

Speaker 11 (00:45):
It's really shocking how many random strangers are just willing
to tell you something crazy. Now, maybe they're lying to me,
but I think for the most part, they just want
to get stuff off their chest. I found out people cheated,
people stole money, all kinds of different things.

Speaker 8 (00:57):
It's amazing. Just ask a stranger you got any secret?

Speaker 6 (01:00):
I promise we will not use your real name. Well,
let's make up some really crazy fake names. You can
call Nate or easier than that. Texas at fifty five
one hundred, scary. Do you have any music for Got
any secrets?

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I sure do? All right? Hey? Uh, and these people
on hold on the phone Nate. Are these their real names?
Assume they're assumed they're fake names. They're aliens?

Speaker 6 (01:27):
Okay, okay, fake names good. I don't want to use
people's real names. This is the worst music for tell
me a secret.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
What do you? Sorry? What do you have? I got
other music?

Speaker 12 (01:40):
All right?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
What do you have?

Speaker 8 (01:43):
It's like a half step up?

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Also, okay, let's not do any music. We're fine, We're good.
Let's skipped to music part. We're good.

Speaker 13 (01:50):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Line eleven, Tiffany not her real name, hung up.

Speaker 10 (01:56):
Oh okay, her secret was so bad she couldn't even
pretend to say it. Don't pretend to be someone else.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
She peed in her bitchy coworker's water bottle.

Speaker 8 (02:07):
Oh ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Let's let's not congratulate that. Rock four Line twenty four
not her real name. Hi, rock cal Hi, So are you?
We're okay? Tell us your secret.

Speaker 13 (02:25):
So I'm cheating on my husband with my twenty five
year old pool boy.

Speaker 14 (02:30):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
This is like, yeah, so, are you cheating on your
husband because you just need more? Or he's just awful?

Speaker 15 (02:39):
He is awful, He's just I just and I just
realized it.

Speaker 13 (02:43):
Now there's a there's a large he's twenty years older
than I and I kind of see things differently than
I used to see them.

Speaker 16 (02:50):
So I was kind of just like, screw it.

Speaker 6 (02:52):
All right, Well, enjoy your time with the prool boy,
but keep in mind, you have a life to live,
so you know, if you can time to move on,
let him go, let him go live his own life.
You know, good luck to him to you on that.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Roquel.

Speaker 5 (03:04):
Yeah, it's the early stages of it.

Speaker 13 (03:05):
It's only been going on for like a week so far.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
This exiting fight. Yeah. Well, hell yeah, tell the world
it's factus all right, Roquel, thank you very much. The
pool Sandy online twenty Yeah, Roquel's pool has never been cleaner.

Speaker 6 (03:18):
Sandy on line twenty three, not her real name. Go ahead, Sandy,
tell us your secret.

Speaker 13 (03:23):
I dated a guy he transported weed for eight months.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Oh illegally, I'm assuming across the state.

Speaker 17 (03:31):
Line, very cross the quite a few state lines.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh oh my, there you go. It's your secret. It's
your secret.

Speaker 18 (03:42):
And we used to say it was to bring the
joys to others.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Absolutely, all right, Sandy, that's your secret. Don't tell anyone.
Text us his number, stop it for us. Thank you,
Sandy Line twenty two is Wanda. It could be your
real name. I love the name Wanda. What's your secret?

Speaker 19 (04:02):
So probably over the course of I don't know, eight
to ten years, I've stolen, well not anymore. Hundreds of
thousands of luxury makeup and skincare.

Speaker 10 (04:14):
Oh wow, wow to use her to.

Speaker 8 (04:17):
Sell Oh no to you.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, hundreds of thousands of dollars cosmetics. I'm assuming I'm getting.

Speaker 11 (04:27):
Care of and luxury, she said, luxury, not like you know,
that's stuff ain't cheap.

Speaker 19 (04:32):
Cove a girl.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Like La Maire and stuff like that.

Speaker 5 (04:37):
Yeah, there are some of that.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
I bet you look fabulous. You look so young.

Speaker 10 (04:47):
How do you do it?

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Thank you, Wanda, Thanks for listening to us. And by
the way, I don't want people are gonna start yelling this.
How dare you glamor these people like.

Speaker 20 (04:59):
Me?

Speaker 14 (05:02):
The Morning show.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
I had relationships with my ex's mother as soon as
I was done with my ex on the same night,
about an hour apart.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh, oh my god, sloppy seconds. Uh god, oh my god.
Look at all the texts.

Speaker 11 (05:18):
Yeah, gandhi, there's one here that says, when my boyfriend
makes me mad, I do mean things to him like
putting jalapinos on the toilet seat so his balls burn,
and having the dog like his sandwiches.

Speaker 10 (05:28):
Oh my god, my god, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Another way my secret is I worked on Saturday nights
for five years. I told my wife I was playing
cards so I could have some extra money to spend
that she wouldn't know about.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Okay, yeah, yes, Cary.

Speaker 21 (05:43):
Someone just texted in. I sniffed seats when people get up.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Oh, this is strange. What My wife sent a bondage
kit to the state where she was visiting a week
before she left to see her sister. She doesn't know
that I know.

Speaker 6 (06:01):
Oh whoa, Maybe her sister's tying her up.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Nah, who knows?

Speaker 6 (06:09):
I had sex with my cousin in my grandmother's bed.
That's always fun. Yeah, yeah, I can't believe everyone has
a secret. They all do, and they're all texting us,
and so there's someone here I can't read because I
mean they I understand why they are secrets.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
You can see anymore. Hmm hmm. I'm pregnant. No one
knows yet. Okay, A lot of those, A lot of
secret pregnancy is going on.

Speaker 8 (06:36):
Someone takes care of themselves in the car isn't that dangerous?

Speaker 2 (06:42):
This person says, I've been with over five hundred people
in my fiance and nobody in my family knows.

Speaker 8 (06:48):
Oh, there's a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Yeah, all right, it's interesting. So did you see.

Speaker 8 (06:55):
The last one? I have sex with my girlfriend's mom
more than my girlfriend.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh wow, whoa? Okay, So look, keep your secret. You
don't have to share it with us. You are now
that they're rolling in, You don't have any level of guilt.
And I'm listening to all these secrets.

Speaker 8 (07:13):
Maybe it feels better.

Speaker 10 (07:14):
It feels better for them to get it off their chests,
like they feel like they've been relieved of something.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
So, yeah, I feel my life is boring. I don't
have any good secrets like this. I feel like I'm
living life wrong. I'm not doing anything any of these
things these people are doing.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
Wow. Anyway, so thanks for sharing your secrets. Let's just
move on. For some reason, I just feel dirty.

Speaker 10 (07:33):
Yeah, I love it?

Speaker 17 (07:36):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Line six? Oh do we really want to go here? Oh?
This is awful? Hello Tiffany, is that your real name?

Speaker 18 (07:44):
No?

Speaker 10 (07:45):
No good?

Speaker 3 (07:47):
No, you really know Holden? You really peed in a
coworker's water bottle?

Speaker 15 (07:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (07:54):
Well, so let's start with a coworker. So obviously you
have you detest this human being?

Speaker 22 (08:00):
Oh yeah, a lot.

Speaker 10 (08:02):
What can I ask what they did that made you pee?

Speaker 2 (08:04):
In?

Speaker 17 (08:06):
All kinds of things like ripping up some of my
paperwork and saying that I've sotole money, and it just
goes on and on. It's been going on to like
six weeks, and my the people like in charge of
doing nothing about it. It's like harassment. I'm getting called

(08:29):
and after I leave it's like enough where I just.

Speaker 6 (08:32):
Okay, well wait, hold on, hold on. So there's a lot.
It sounds like there's a lot of bad stuff going
on in your office and it needs to be corrected
by management. But do you think do you actually feel
better about everything?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Okay?

Speaker 17 (08:44):
Well yeah, when I looked at her now and I'm
just like, yes, I'm you know, I'm trying not to
say any bad words here.

Speaker 6 (08:52):
You feel you feel you feel better about the situation
because you by the way, how.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Do you aim to get it in a bottle? So strange?

Speaker 8 (09:00):
It was one of the bigger bottles, you know.

Speaker 6 (09:02):
But I'm not trying to be a downer here, but
it is it is against a law to pe and
people's bottles yea drink?

Speaker 8 (09:08):
Yeah, you can't do that. Is it wrong that I
have questions?

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (09:14):
Well ahead, I want to know how you got the
water bottle, like like snuck it away and then snuck
it back without her.

Speaker 17 (09:20):
No, I didn't have to seek it.

Speaker 22 (09:22):
She left.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
She left it, okay.

Speaker 17 (09:25):
I could see her drink it though, that would have
been all right.

Speaker 6 (09:29):
Well, look, we have to put you on hold, Tiffany,
but thank you for listening to us.

Speaker 11 (09:33):
Feel scared of Tiffany. I know we're not judging, but
I'm a little scared that.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
I'm gonna go ahead.

Speaker 6 (09:39):
And you know me, my rule is always don't judge
the listeners. And if they take the time to call
in because there are listeners, I'm going to go ahead
and break my rule and judge.

Speaker 8 (09:48):
Gee, she's the.

Speaker 10 (09:49):
Type of person I don't want to cross. Let's put
it at all ever, I.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Just yeah, all right, Well we move on.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Elvis darn in the Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Oh Uncle Johnny, Oh god, can you get Uncle Johnny
on the phone, Nate. So Uncle Johnny called from his
house phone. He called alex Am my cell phone. He's
not working, and I can't daar me.

Speaker 6 (10:24):
So, uh so Alex says, okay, Uncle Johnny, I'll leave
work early and I'll drive into the city and I'll
help you figure it out. So we're figuring out maybe
something wrong with the you know and then the under
the cellular settings, or maybe he's you know, he pushed
the wrong button and it's like offline something that's really complicated.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
Plane mode or something like that. Yeah, it's on airplane mode.

Speaker 6 (10:47):
So so Alex gets there and picks up his cell
phone the ringers turned down.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Oh to get there.

Speaker 6 (10:59):
It took Alex maybe forty five minutes to get there,
and it took him less than ten seconds to turn
the ringer up.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
Oh.

Speaker 8 (11:07):
Man, what did Johnny say?

Speaker 3 (11:09):
He was like, oh, oh, I don't know. I have
no idea what he said. Oh I know, but you
know what, but no big deal.

Speaker 6 (11:16):
And so but Alex got to, you know, help him
get some stuff done around the house, and it was
it's always good to see Uncle Johnny.

Speaker 10 (11:21):
But that's never happened to you. Guys, Like you call
somebody in to repair something and they come and it's
like the dumbest thing and you're like, oh, well gone.

Speaker 8 (11:29):
His dad, Dad he's gonna be so mad at me. Okay.

Speaker 11 (11:33):
So my dad was having this issue with his car
where he kept hearing this sound. He said it was
freaking him out. He went into the dealership more than
one time, and on the final time he went in there,
he was irate, raging, there's.

Speaker 8 (11:44):
A sound in my car. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 11 (11:46):
The guy gets into his car to try and figure
it out, because he kept telling.

Speaker 8 (11:48):
Him nothing was going on.

Speaker 11 (11:49):
It was his cell phone's alarm that kept going off.

Speaker 8 (11:53):
Oh, he was in the car and he was blaming
the car.

Speaker 11 (11:56):
And the best part is it wasn't even piped through
a bluetooth because he has a flip phone, so it
was just sitting in the seat and he couldn't figure
out that it was his alarm.

Speaker 8 (12:04):
He blamed the Toyota dealership.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
I got Uncle Johnny.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
All customer service. Sometimes they get our tech support. One
of the first things they ask you is is it
plugged in? At some point somebody has found it wasn't
plugged in.

Speaker 6 (12:17):
That Let's say your your you know how cable works
and you know how your internet works, right, so you
call the company because you're not getting Wi Fi.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
You know you're not getting internet, you know, you know.

Speaker 6 (12:32):
But the first thing they tell you is have you
unplugged everything and let it sit for five seconds and
plug it back in. And you tell them yes, they
don't believe you. They're like, well, we have to do
it anyway. Well here we freaking go.

Speaker 10 (12:42):
Did you smack it around a little bit? Sometimes just
smack it around it works better.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
I got Uncle Johnny. We woke him up. We got
we we woke him from the from his crypt a
good morning, Good morning.

Speaker 20 (12:52):
Uncle Johnny. What are you bananas?

Speaker 3 (12:55):
So, Uncle Johnny?

Speaker 23 (12:57):
What happened is hek mob The phone was there, and
I thought the little things on the side of the phone,
one was for the volume going up, one was for
the volume going down. They are and on the other
side you put the phone on and off. Well this
had that little thing above that that they you push
and you shut the phone off.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
And that's what happened, Uh, Johnny, Johnny. The thing is,
I mean, there's on the ring, but you know the ringer,
You push it up for it to go up, you
push it down for it to go down. All you
you just got to turn it up and you're finally
just a little switch on.

Speaker 23 (13:34):
There, there was a little bit there was a little
knof above it that turned it off and on.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
What's that, Froggy, There's a switch above the up and
down buttons, the volume button. There's a switch. This was
in the down position, so you can see the orange right.
It was the ringer was off versus.

Speaker 20 (13:51):
That's what happened.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
But that switch has been on our iPhones for a
long time. Now you're just now learning this.

Speaker 20 (13:57):
Well, I just I didn't realize it was. It was
a new phone. What do I know? Anyways, but he
put my vacuum cleaner together, which was perfair.

Speaker 24 (14:05):
You go.

Speaker 6 (14:06):
We got we got Uncle Johnny a Dyson, so he's
ready to clear it.

Speaker 10 (14:10):
Oh, the best thing I've ever purchased in my life.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
Now, you know, Uncle Johnny. You have to charge the
dicon up.

Speaker 6 (14:16):
You can't just plug it in and it's a it's
a charge up kind of vacuum.

Speaker 20 (14:19):
So't charge. I'm vacuuming today.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
Nice.

Speaker 10 (14:23):
It makes vacuuming fun, it does.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
It really makes vacuuming a joy.

Speaker 20 (14:27):
I love it all right, Well, I'm very excited.

Speaker 6 (14:30):
Well, Uncle Johnny, Alex. Even though it was a pain
in the ass to drive all the way into the city.
He said he was happy he did. It was good
to see you and he and he was happy he
could put your vacuum cleaner together and he did.

Speaker 20 (14:41):
He's fabulous, he really is.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
I may I may keep him around for a little long.

Speaker 20 (14:45):
I think you should, all right, Uncle Johnny, we love you.
I love you, guys. Have a beauty a great day. Okay,
I'll talk too later as soon as I figure out
how to figure it out.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (15:05):
Online one an electrician Brandon, I bet you see all
sorts of things when they call you and it says electrician,
I mean you're on call all the time, and you
drive all the way over what have you?

Speaker 3 (15:16):
What have you seen people do?

Speaker 16 (15:19):
So I had this this elderly couple. They called and
they said the lights in their kitchen weren't working. And
so the light switches are called three ways. You can
switch them on and off from two different locations. Well,
the switch that she had primarily used was in the
on position. So she's like, well, look the switches on,
but the lights aren't working, and.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
She didn't think about turning it off to see what
would happened.

Speaker 16 (15:45):
Yeah, So like the first like our first thing is Okay,
flip the switch. See what happens. And we walk over
and flip the switch and the lights turn right on.

Speaker 6 (15:53):
Brandon, how many times have you gone to someone's house
and they're mad because something doesn't work and you just
look down and it's just not plugged in.

Speaker 16 (16:00):
That's that's happened a couple of times. I've had a
couple of times where they break, the breakers just tripped.

Speaker 10 (16:07):
Do you charge for those things? Like, do you still say, sorry,
I gotta charge you even though it's just a plug.

Speaker 16 (16:14):
If it's something I did for for like my actual company,
for my employer, we have to. But I've had like
family friends call me and say, hey, like, you know,
we have outlosts in the kitchen that aren't working. Can
you come over and take a look at it? And
I'm like, yeah, absolutely, so I come look at it
and like the breakers tripped.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 6 (16:35):
To be honest, though, Brandon, the breaker situation, you may
laugh at this, but that is very advanced for a lot.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Of people that thought, oh yeah, oh yeah, looking for
a breaker that.

Speaker 16 (16:46):
I will give them the benefit of the doubt because
the breakers that were in that panel were a little old,
so the breaker had tripped, but you couldn't tell. There
you go, I'm looking at it, you couldn't tell. I
actually had to put a meter on it to see
if it was if it was working or not.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
How about this one? The light doesn't work and you
look up and there's no light bulb in it.

Speaker 8 (17:06):
That'll get you every time.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
I know that's happened.

Speaker 10 (17:09):
I would do that.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
You got to put a light bulb in it. It
really works better. Oh damn.

Speaker 6 (17:15):
All right, Well look Brandon, stay safe out there. And
how many as an electrician, how many times have you
been shocked?

Speaker 20 (17:23):
A lot?

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yeah, that scares me.

Speaker 6 (17:28):
The electricity scares me, which is a good thing. We
should be afraid of electricity and only let people like
Brandon take care of me, except except Froggy and of
course my guy Alex.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
They'll they'll wire things, and I'm like, well, don't wire
anything in my house. I'll do it, Brandon, I'll do
it with a power on. You just don't just don't
touch the wires together like they go. Day I hung
a ceiling fan. I didn't go flip the breaker. I
just kept all the wires separated. And is that a
good idea?

Speaker 16 (17:54):
I mean, for somebody that doesn't do it every day.
Probably not, but I lying if I said I hadn't
done it.

Speaker 6 (18:02):
Right, How do you describe how do you describe the
feeling of being being electrocuted? Like, how do you describe
it to people who've never been electrocuted?

Speaker 16 (18:12):
It's almost like a vibration.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
Well, you have to be voltage, right, Yeah, it.

Speaker 16 (18:18):
It feels pretty much like a vibration. And I mean
that's that's really the only best way I can describe it.
Sometimes it hurts really bad. Sometimes it doesn't, yeah, by
the way, and it doesn't feel like anything.

Speaker 6 (18:28):
By the way, if you hear the word vibration, don't
don't get all giddy about that. It's not always. Don't
plug your hu haul into the wall.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Randon. Thank you and to be safe out there, and
I hope you have a great weekend. Okay, yes, thank you?
Take care? Ye, Like a vibrator is like the very
minimum of what being electrocuted feels like. Yeah, correct, Well, last.

Speaker 6 (18:55):
Time I was electrocuted, I mean it knocked me across
the room. It was I don't know why or what
or just I don't want to know. It scared the
hell of an me ALYSSA is Online five. Let's see
what's on her mind today. Hey, Alissa, Hi, did you
do the same thing uncle Johnny?

Speaker 3 (19:10):
Did? I did?

Speaker 24 (19:12):
I got an iPhone from my work last year and
I've never used one, and I didn't know there was
that button up there, so I had my volume up
for three days. I was missing phone calls and I
had to google it, and then I finally called it
and They're like, there's a button right above that, and
I'm like, oh my god, I'm such an idiot.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
You're good.

Speaker 6 (19:36):
Obviously they do exactly to tell you which thing you
should check first, because obviously they.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
Get a call about that little button all the time.
You're not an idiot. Thank you for listening and listen.

Speaker 25 (19:47):
Thank you guys, thank you.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Hold on, hold on one second. I think Straight Night
wants to play with you.

Speaker 26 (19:52):
Eve.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
Finally we talked to Eve online four. So Eve, we
all know.

Speaker 6 (19:56):
I'm sure a lot of people listening have had their
parents call for technical advice.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
What did your dad call you for?

Speaker 27 (20:03):
So?

Speaker 22 (20:03):
My father is very Greek.

Speaker 28 (20:06):
He is off the boat.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
He is We and my.

Speaker 14 (20:09):
Brother are first generations, and.

Speaker 22 (20:11):
We've always heard him try to say I don't seek
good English. Am I sad. You've been in the country
lone and I've been alive. So a few years back,
we buy him an Alexa and we show him how
he could play his Greek music on it, and he
was excited. So I get a call. Now he has
owned this thing for a few years, and he calls
this says, I have a problem. What's the problem that

(20:32):
Alexa won't stop playing the music? And my wife won't.
We have a stepmother, she won't. She won't like this,
so we have to figure out how to shut it off.
I'm like, I don't know. Dad called my brother. He's
a tech savvy guy. He calls him. Somehow they figure
out how to get it off. Turns out he has
to put the phone on speaker and my brother tells
Alexa to stop playing the music. Everybody's happy. A couple

(20:54):
hours later, I get the same call from my dad.
We have a problem. I don't want to brother, your brother,
can you figure it out? I said, Dad, what are
you telling Aleta? You tell her you'll stop stop playing
the Greek music? So I said, you talk to Alexa
on speakerphone with Alexa and my dad, my father says, Alexa,
stop play Greek music.

Speaker 5 (21:15):
My kid, Greek music.

Speaker 20 (21:22):
Stop.

Speaker 29 (21:22):
I'm like, you have to use your word endings.

Speaker 22 (21:25):
Stop playing Greek music.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
The thing is I mean speaking speaking to your echo
or to your Google whatever.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
I mean.

Speaker 6 (21:36):
It is a different language. I mean it is you
have to learn to speak their language. It's so true.

Speaker 10 (21:42):
That's so cute.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Does he also spray wind decks on everything?

Speaker 5 (21:47):
Pretty pretty much?

Speaker 28 (21:48):
We're pretty close to that love that well.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
God bless you and your family. Thank you for listening.
All right, bye bye.

Speaker 6 (21:56):
Our friend Tommy Dedario hosts. I've never said this before.
It's a podcast where he interviews our favorite actress and artists.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
Tommy, Who's on the podcast this week? Hey, Elvis, I
have Lacy Shab on the show. Who you know in
love is Gretchen from Me and Girls.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Today we are celebrating her new Christmas movie Hot FROs
Steve Plus we talk Mean Girls reunion.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
You don't want to miss it. I've never said this before.
New episodes every Tuesday.

Speaker 6 (22:19):
Listen on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 10 (22:24):
What row mister ran in the morning show.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Hey, I know that we have so many different terms
that apply to relationships, Like you've been catfished, or you've
been cookie crumbed or what are some of the other
break crumb break crumbed ghosted? How about stashed? This is
one stashing you or someone you know. Have you been
stashed or are you currently being stashed? I'll tell you

(22:52):
what it means. You're dating someone.

Speaker 6 (22:54):
It seems like it's great, but they never ever introduce
you to their friends or their family. They kind of
hide you. They're stashing you away somewhere. I actually i've
known people who've been through this. Have you Have you
ever been stashed by someone? You're like, I don't get
it when when when you're with him, it seems great,
but when they leave, it's like you don't exist.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
Right.

Speaker 11 (23:15):
So I haven't been stashed, but I hate to admit it.
I have stashed someone before.

Speaker 8 (23:21):
I feel like I have What do you do? Okay?

Speaker 11 (23:25):
He was very cute and I had fun with him,
but he was a little dense.

Speaker 8 (23:31):
And he was an aspiring rapper.

Speaker 11 (23:34):
He was stupid, and he was an aspiring rapper, and
he would introduce himself to people if he ever encountered
them by.

Speaker 8 (23:41):
His rap name. So I was like, oh, hell no, this.

Speaker 11 (23:45):
Is never going to be a thing, like I cannot
introduce you to my friends and family. And I remember
one time he showed up at a work event and
I like pulled in between two cars.

Speaker 8 (23:53):
I'm like, why are you here? What are you doing?
Get out of here?

Speaker 3 (23:58):
I love that a right, so you you you had
particular reasons to be with him, but that it was
never going to go beyond that, right, right.

Speaker 10 (24:07):
I have a question. Can it be a good thing
if you're stashing someone for the other person, Like, say,
you want to just keep them for yourself and you
don't want to share them with other people because I
don't know, you're afraid your friend might steal them, or your.

Speaker 6 (24:22):
Family is like your family's heinous. You don't want your
your family to get their claws into your pretty guy.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
Or yeah, woman, maybe.

Speaker 8 (24:30):
It's a good thing.

Speaker 10 (24:31):
So maybe it's not bad.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
All right, we'll get into stashing.

Speaker 6 (24:35):
I want to hear from people who have been stashed,
who are stashed, who are stashing, or who have stashed
has a mustache.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
No, it is not about you, Daniels me.

Speaker 6 (24:46):
Raina on line twenty four she stashed her boyfriend for
a year.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
I want to hear it.

Speaker 10 (24:52):
That's a long time.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah, Raina. Now, how come you stashed your boyfriend for
a whole year?

Speaker 25 (24:56):
My family doesn't live here anymore, and so they moved
away to Florida, and so it was really easy.

Speaker 5 (25:02):
I kind of just called my mom.

Speaker 25 (25:03):
We were friends, and then she believed me, and then
we kind of just popped up and I was like.

Speaker 19 (25:09):
Hey, what would you do if I got married?

Speaker 18 (25:12):
And she's like, well, you know, you just do what
feels right and.

Speaker 14 (25:14):
You let me know whatever. And so I let her
know two days after our marriage.

Speaker 10 (25:18):
Wow, would have killed me. Uh no, no way.

Speaker 25 (25:25):
My mom's really supportive, like of everything.

Speaker 14 (25:27):
She's an angel.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Oh okay, but wait, going back, why was he stashed
for a year? Though? Really?

Speaker 29 (25:33):
So she's an angel, but she's a smothering one. So
I knew that he's really didn't He didn't have his.

Speaker 24 (25:40):
Mom anymore, so he really is not comfortable with it
at a distance, and I just I didn't want my family.

Speaker 5 (25:46):
We're really close but really dysfunctional, and I wanted.

Speaker 19 (25:49):
To really be able to have a relationship with him.

Speaker 16 (25:52):
There you go that reflecting.

Speaker 6 (25:54):
It, I get it, all right, Well, look, you know
what you had to do, what was right for you.
It's your relationship, and so there you go. You stashed
your boyfriend for a year. But look it looks like
it's turning out to be a happy.

Speaker 19 (26:03):
Ending, right Yeah, and my whole family adoores him.

Speaker 6 (26:07):
Ah good, good, So it worked out for the best,
all right, RAINA, thank you.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
See stashing can be good. Thank you. Danielle Online twenty three,
currently being stashed. Hello, so how long have you been
with this person?

Speaker 5 (26:23):
I've been with this guy for two years and he's
been not letting me meet family friends, nobody.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
Well, do you know why or have you asked for
a reason?

Speaker 10 (26:36):
I did.

Speaker 5 (26:37):
I'm like, are you embarrassing me? Am I not pretty enough?
And he's like, no, no, no, it's not that it's drama.
I don't want to cause issues and stuff, and it's
always like an excuse. So I kind of like left it.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Do you totally trust him?

Speaker 6 (26:52):
Do you feel like that you're the only one or
do you feel like there's someone else or something that
you don't know?

Speaker 5 (26:58):
I just don't know. I feel like, yeah, I can
trust him because I mean for the last two years,
you know. I just feel like at least if it
was like six months or a year, I feel like
it would have been different, I guess, but two years
and we're going pretty strong. I mean we've been on
little vacasions, but like you won't tell anybody anything.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
Yeah, I don't know. Here, here's one of my thoughts
about being stashed. If you're truly going to be in
a relationship, which is a two way thing, then there
needs to be transparency. There needs to be honesty and openness.
What do you think, Gandhi?

Speaker 11 (27:35):
Well, what about social media? Do you post pictures of him?
Does he ever post pictures of you? Or does he
get weird about that?

Speaker 5 (27:41):
You're ready for this one? He doesn't have social media.

Speaker 8 (27:44):
I smell around, you.

Speaker 10 (27:49):
Know, maybe he's got a different name on social media.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
You've been with him for two years, you said, right, yeah, yeah,
it's a long time. Hey, good luck with that, Danielle.
I I don't know. I think. I I here's what.

Speaker 6 (28:09):
I truly believe. You deserve the world. You deserve all
great things. And if this being stashed is gonna.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Is going to be a deterrent from you having the
greatest life, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (28:23):
You deserve better. I'm hoping you can work this out
with him or without him. Either way, best of.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
Luck to you.

Speaker 5 (28:29):
Thank you. I appreciate it, and I do deserve the best,
so I agree, you.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
Do, you do.

Speaker 6 (28:33):
I mean, if as always you're okay with it, then
it's gonna keep going on the way it is. But
I don't know, it doesn't sound like you're one hundred
percent okay with it. Hey, thank you for listening to us,
and all the best and good luck to you.

Speaker 5 (28:43):
Thank you, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
Okay, bye bye.

Speaker 10 (28:47):
Yeah, she's so nice.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
So she's very nice, but so far, it's yeah, scary. No.

Speaker 30 (28:53):
I just think that if you're being stashed ninety percent
of the time, you're the side piece.

Speaker 21 (28:58):
I just that's I just that's my gut. Those are
so many red dish red flag.

Speaker 6 (29:02):
I don't know if you can put a percentage on it,
but yeah, I can see how they could.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
That could be the case.

Speaker 6 (29:07):
Sometimes absolutely, that could be one of the reasons why
you're being stashed. But what if it's something crazy like
this guy's he's on the lamp, he's a murderer and
they're looking for him.

Speaker 11 (29:17):
Total second family that he doesn't want her to know about,
Like what exactly drama?

Speaker 8 (29:22):
What kind of drama?

Speaker 11 (29:23):
And does he get mad when she posts pictures. I
just don't if there's so many things we need to unpack.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
Yeah, I know. And two years in that's that's huh. Oh,
it's the weekend.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Hey, this is Miley Cyrus.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
What off? It's a black Eyed Peace.

Speaker 13 (29:35):
Hey.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
This is Seleni Gomez with Elvis Duran and the Morning Show.
This is Elvis Duran and the Morning Show.

Speaker 6 (29:49):
We have two members of our show, of our family,
Danielle and Froggy. They're going crazy over decorating their front
yards for Halloween. Now, Danielle has how many twenty something
twenty inflatables? Yeah, I mean yeah, I'm almost thinking your
house in the back isn't inflatable.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (30:06):
And then Frog, Froggy's entire neighborhood has gone wacko and
everyone's out doing each other. And now it's getting to
the point where they're messing with each other, right, Frog,
what are they doing to your skeletons on the front porch?

Speaker 2 (30:18):
So we had one skeleton last year, and of course
every year, Lisa's got to do a little more than
the year before. So we have two skeletons this year,
and we have two chairs on our front porch. Last night,
we came home the skeletons driving sex in the front yard. Yep,
I would have done that to you the other day.
One we have a tombstone that it is. It has
a little bit of a phallic shape to it. A

(30:39):
couple of days ago we came home and the tombstone
was in one of the skeleton's.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
Laps sticking up high.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I'm like, you know, this is like so every time
we leave and we come home, there's something going out.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
We know who's doing it. We love her.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
However, it's like I think she goes online, looks for
ideas that things to do with our skeletons, comes down
the street, doesn't leave.

Speaker 3 (30:59):
Yes, but it's fun. It is fun. I mean, but
ifever you caught them, what would you do? What would
you say to them?

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, gotcha? I would laugh. I would laugh at her
and that. But you know what she has decorations on
her house. But she doesn't understand is her decorations are
going to get rearranged as well.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
She doesn't.

Speaker 8 (31:15):
Absolutely no, it should happen anyway.

Speaker 10 (31:17):
Start a war, froggy, Yep, Halloween Wars isn't show, you know.

Speaker 6 (31:22):
Speaking of Halloween and ghost and stuff, My little kid
ghost is back. I've seen them or her, I don't
know if it's here she, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
In that window. I mean I saw it. They I
don't know.

Speaker 6 (31:37):
I saw them three times last night when I was
watching TV.

Speaker 10 (31:41):
That's so cool.

Speaker 8 (31:42):
How do you stay in the home you have to leave?

Speaker 3 (31:45):
In Bernick Gobby, I would so creepy. It is so creepy.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
I was at this house one time. I als walked
out of the room and then I saw this in
the window, and I thought Elvis was messing with me.
Elvis comes back in the room. I'm telling him what
I saw. I saw it again, so it is real.
It's there, It's it is the creepiest thing ever, but it's.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
I I think.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
I thought I would run out of the house if
I saw it, but I didn't.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
I was it was creepy out look.

Speaker 6 (32:12):
You know this is This is one of several times
I've been in a situation with something that can't be explained.
And even though I've seen her him many times, her,
I don't know, and other things, I still am not
one hundred percent certain. It's weird. And anyone who's seen
something like this, they'll tell you. Most people you think

(32:33):
you would be scared out of your whatever and you'd
run out the door. You're not you actually go Okay,
that wasn't so bad, and you just watch TV.

Speaker 31 (32:40):
No.

Speaker 10 (32:40):
You know, my mom in her old house had ghosts
for the longest time. I mean even to the point
where when a priest came over to say some prayers
with us when my dad was passing, he asked for
holy water because he felt certain things in the house
and blessed the house.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
But anywhere you go.

Speaker 10 (32:55):
But so she would talk to the ghosts, and I
remember I would sleep over and we would hear crash
and go downstairs and there was nothing. And there was
one time I was on the staircase and something wouldn't
let me go down the stairs. Like all these things
would happen. But after she moved out of the house,
we drove back and drove past the house and she
saw two people sitting on the couch. And from where

(33:18):
we were looking, She's like, there's no way we would
have been able to see people. She's like, those were
not peoples. Where the ghosts? So I said, well, just
that you left.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
They were people. Yeah, I wanted to that's the problem.

Speaker 10 (33:31):
So the ghost that we left and they're pissed off
or you know whatever, and Mom goes, I want to
reach out to the new people and like ask them, like,
have you heard anything, have they come out? Have they
talked to you guys?

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Well, then you ya.

Speaker 6 (33:44):
I talked to the people who used to live in
this house. Noah, it's not haunted. And I said, well, okay,
not for you, it's for me. Maybe it's maybe I'm
the problem.

Speaker 10 (33:50):
You could bring it out.

Speaker 6 (33:51):
So decorating for Halloween of Nate's fiance, Heather, what did
she order from Amazon to decorate the house with?

Speaker 32 (33:59):
Hey, baby, I don't know you could get bales of
hay on Amazon.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Those are tic condos.

Speaker 11 (34:07):
Seriously, and don't you have like every allergy in the world.
You're gonna be sneezing your ass off.

Speaker 32 (34:12):
I think she's gonna decorate the front, all right, but
I'm like, why didn't we just go to like some
farm stand or something.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
Why are you deliver bales of hay?

Speaker 10 (34:22):
You're not the cleanup of that is insane. There's gonna
be hay everywhere, alright, Alright.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Alright, So anyway, we heard from Abby up in New Haven, Connecticut,
the home of my favorite Clampie must say, Hey, Abby,
how are you Abby?

Speaker 20 (34:40):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (34:42):
Yeah, yeah, uh listen, yeah, don't listen to the radio
because that'll confuse you or you are you listening to
dead people? Now here's the thing, Abby says, quite literally
the kid from sixth Since you've been able to see
dead people most of your life?

Speaker 3 (34:55):
Right?

Speaker 20 (34:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (34:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (34:58):
Now how does it not drive you a little? Is
it terrifying you? Does it drive you a little little
little nutty?

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Sometimes? I mean I would want can you turn it off?

Speaker 14 (35:08):
So as I've gotten older, I've been able to sort
of tune it out. I guess it's the best word.
But when I was younger, I had no control over it.

Speaker 20 (35:16):
Wow, yeah it was.

Speaker 14 (35:17):
It was terrifying, and I would think that I was
going insane. But you know, going to Gettysburg really kind
of solidified it for me.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
Talk about that.

Speaker 14 (35:26):
So I looked it up afterwards and it's it's this
thing called a time slip. So when I'm there, I see,
like all my friends walking around this beautiful seals with
the sawn out and shining and it's gorgeous, and then
laid over it like tracing paper is the Battle of Gettysburg.
So wo dying, Cannon's joying off, stepping in people that

(35:47):
are dead on the ground. Yeah, it's just it's very unsettling.

Speaker 6 (35:51):
So is it almost a three dimensional thing for you,
the like like tracing paper over what's really happening in reality?

Speaker 23 (36:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (36:00):
No, Like I looked down and I thought I was
stepping in somebody's head.

Speaker 10 (36:04):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
Yeah yeah, all right.

Speaker 6 (36:07):
So okay, So if you're walking down the street, Abby,
can you is it easy for you to tell the
difference between someone who is alive versus someone who has passed.

Speaker 14 (36:16):
Yeah, they kind of if For me now as an adult,
it's like like a shimmer in the air rather than
like an actual person or with features unless somebody that
I unless somebody that I know, and then I can
actually see the person, hear them talking.

Speaker 6 (36:34):
So in my house and Froggy has seen the child too,
there's this child that's always in this same window. It's
it's it's it's weird and and it's not scary at all.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
For some reason, I don't know. I thought i'd be
freaked out, but I'm not.

Speaker 6 (36:47):
So if you were in my house right now, Abby
and you did see this child, there's a chance you
would would you try to communicate with the kid, or
do you just leave them alone, or how do you
interact with him?

Speaker 5 (36:57):
If you do, if they reach out.

Speaker 14 (37:01):
To me, I sort of just listen, unless it's you know, malicious,
like when I go by like a mental institution that's
got really bad stories about it, going by cemeteries, I
just sort of listen. And sometimes it can be really
loud and give me a headache, and sometimes just sort
of whispers in the background. Like when my husband's grandmother

(37:22):
passed away. We weren't there. We were at home because
it was COVID, and about five minutes before we got
the call that she had passed, I was sitting at
the dinner table and I felt like I was coming
out of my skin, Like I felt like my skin
was falling off my body.

Speaker 15 (37:37):
It was.

Speaker 14 (37:38):
It was very unsettling. I had to go outside and
like meditate because I was literally having a panic attack.
And my mother in law got really angry all of
a sudden. And I'm ninety nine twenty nine percent sure
that Grandma stopped by before she went on to wherever
she went.

Speaker 6 (37:51):
Well, as you know, you spoke with our producer Nate
a few moments ago.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Nate has had two strokes. Is he alive?

Speaker 14 (38:04):
I mean if you put your head to his chest
and you hear his heart beating.

Speaker 10 (38:07):
No, not really, but that was even before there.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
I'll take it a step further.

Speaker 14 (38:12):
He pretty murdered himself.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
He doesn't even have a reflection in the mirror.

Speaker 5 (38:20):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (38:21):
So Abby, you know, I look, you know, I don't
mean to make fun or anything. Is I can assume
that going through life with this ability that you have
can be a downer sometimes and maybe I'm sometimes you
wish you didn't have it in your life, But are
you glad you do have that you have this sixth sense?

Speaker 14 (38:39):
I was particularly happy about it at my own grandmother's
funeral because I sang. I sang at her funeral and
I didn't know how I was going to get through it,
and she held my hand through the whole thing.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
Wow.

Speaker 14 (38:54):
Yeah, So that was It's nice when I know the
person and I can sort of that they've gone there
and they're settled. It's unsettling and I wish I didn't
have it when I'm in areas that are particularly violent,
like New Orleans is off the off the I can't
go there. I've always wanted to go to outfit.

Speaker 26 (39:13):
I can't go there, right, Can you turn it?

Speaker 10 (39:16):
Can you turn it off? Because I heard that like
people learn to turn it off?

Speaker 14 (39:21):
So yeah, as an adult, I can turn it. It's
it's more like turning it down, like turning a stereo down.
I've never been able to fully turn it off.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Well.

Speaker 6 (39:30):
Look, uh, interesting conversation, Abby, and all the best to you.
And I'm thinking if anyone else is listening that is
going through or living a life like you're living with
these experiences in this sense, is there is there like
a central hub where all of you guys can get
information from each other or some mental stability help or

(39:51):
you know, because I can see how that could be
very taxing.

Speaker 26 (39:54):
On your mental Yeah, I have no idea.

Speaker 14 (39:58):
I was diagnosed by polar about a year ago, so
I'm medicated now, so that's always good.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
Has that changed anything?

Speaker 14 (40:05):
Yeah, No, it turns it down quite a bit.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
Okay, Wow, okay, good, good, good good.

Speaker 14 (40:10):
So my mind is a little bit more closed and
I can sort of control my emotions. So that's the
best way I can put it. It's it's hard to
like verbalize it.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
No, I totally totally respect that.

Speaker 6 (40:23):
Well, look, it's it's a pleasure speaking with you, and
all the best to you.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
And you know, with whatever if you want to.

Speaker 6 (40:30):
Call it a gift, do you want to call it
a the opposite of a gift or whatever it is
you have going on with you. I hope that you
always take care of yourself and put yourself first and
don't let that engulf you and definitely don't let it
define you.

Speaker 33 (40:43):
Right, Oh no, definitely.

Speaker 14 (40:45):
I don't tell anybody about it usually because I'm afraid
people are gonna look at me like I'm crazy.

Speaker 6 (40:48):
Well, you've come to the right place because we're very
we're very open minded here and we you know, we
have a little drop of the crazy going that's a
very good So you're safe with us. I know you're
safe with us. Thank you so much for spending time
with us. And you go have a great day, okay, Abby,
you too, All right?

Speaker 3 (41:04):
Take care boy?

Speaker 10 (41:04):
Why so you know, you know our girl Dina with
the pink hair, right, it doesn't make themsse up. So
she has been having these things for years and years
and years, and for the longest time she kind of
ignored it. But for the past couple of years she's
been working with somebody who has actually been able to
kind of center her and help her with these things
that she has going on. And she's been starting to

(41:26):
do readings and stuff and she is getting really really
good at it. So I don't know, maybe she's somebody
that would come to your house, Elvis, and just see
if she felt here.

Speaker 34 (41:35):
Dina.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, I would love Dina to come visit me anyway.

Speaker 6 (41:38):
I just love her as at and it so happens
if she wants to talk to kid, to talk to
the kid in the windows.

Speaker 10 (41:44):
Yeah, Hey, it's Gandhi.

Speaker 11 (41:47):
And you might have heard of my podcast, Sauce on
the Side. If not, come explore the parts of my
brain that we don't talk about on the Big Show,
everything from science to love to the not so safer
work topics that make us laugh. Join me every Wednesday
for a new episode of Sauce on the Side on
America's number one podcast network, I Heart or wherever you
get your podcasts, And while you're there, make sure you like,

(42:08):
follow and.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Subscribe Elvis Duran and the Morning Show. This is Elvis
Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Oh here comes engineer Jeff. Jeff. Here he's finally telling
me that there's a problem that's been going on for
fifteen minutes. What we've been monitoring a situation? You just
spit my eyes? Okay, everyone, just what monitoring situation is
going on.

Speaker 35 (42:33):
Your screen that allows you to go to commercials blanked
out so we may be talking for the next hour
and a half.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Oh cool, I'm all for it. I don't see a
problem with that. I can go to a phone call.
Hello is this I can't read your writing. Everything's just
failing today. Kanesha, Hi, Kanesha. I didn't want to say
your name wrong.

Speaker 13 (42:53):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
How are you? What's going on?

Speaker 36 (42:55):
I'm good?

Speaker 5 (42:55):
How are you?

Speaker 9 (42:56):
So?

Speaker 3 (42:56):
You used to be a substitute teacher?

Speaker 22 (42:59):
Yeah, I when I was in college.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
Now was that one of the worst jobs ever?

Speaker 25 (43:04):
No?

Speaker 18 (43:04):
Actually, i'm a teacher now. So I did it just
to get my feel for things, to make sure that
that's what I wanted to do.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 6 (43:11):
So you could you sort of test drove your your job, yep,
before you bought in. But when you're a substitute, you
know you're going in under the worst of circumstances because
they have zero respect for you.

Speaker 18 (43:23):
Yeah, exactly. But any day that they don't kill each
other that's a good day.

Speaker 5 (43:27):
So when I.

Speaker 18 (43:28):
Would go in, I would tell them I don't care
what you do, just stay quiet and don't kill each other.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Okay, so it's true.

Speaker 6 (43:36):
You really weren't there to teach that day. You're just
there to keep them under control.

Speaker 18 (43:42):
Yeah, pretty much. I just wanted to make sure they
all stayed alive, you know.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
And did you lose any of them?

Speaker 18 (43:49):
No, I haven't, So I think I did pretty well here.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
For I must assume that now that you're officially a teacher,
it's a little different than just keeping them alive.

Speaker 18 (43:59):
Yeah, it's a little different. They still somewhat treat me
like my first year.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
They they treated me like, yeah, you know, kids are
just the worst. Because I still am one, I can
say that, Kenisha, thank you for listening.

Speaker 6 (44:13):
You know, we love our teachers. Thank you for what
you do for a living. We appreciate your You're getting
in there all right, you too, Thank you? Hello, Amy, Amy,
you had to sub.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
You had to sub for a Chinese language class I did.
How much teaching did you do that day?

Speaker 15 (44:30):
Well?

Speaker 27 (44:31):
Luckily I was terrified when they called me to sub
for that. I was like, this is going to be
the worst day. Ever, but luckily the plans that she
left only involved doing origami. So it was terrible.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
Japanese that I thought it was, isn't We're gone? Maybe
it's Chinese too, that's that up. So they were actually
doing origami in the Chinese class.

Speaker 19 (44:55):
Yeah, that was what she left.

Speaker 27 (44:57):
So that's what we did.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Okay, but wait a minute, So which Chinese language was it?
I mean, aren't there like seven hundred of them? I
mean there's a lot of them, you know.

Speaker 27 (45:06):
I honestly have no idea, And it was it was
actually at the school my children go to, and at
the time, they started it in fourth grade, so I
don't even know, and they don't have it anymore unfortunately.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
Probably because they were doing an origami in a Chinese.

Speaker 6 (45:21):
Class that was supposed to be next door at the
Japanese class. It's like rolling sushi rolls down there at
the Chinese class exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
I don't know, right, all right, any.

Speaker 6 (45:35):
Thank you for listening, and thanks for surviving your substitute
teacher days.

Speaker 27 (45:40):
Oh yeah, thank you.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Thanks for listening. Hello, Aubrey, Okay, we have what are
you a teacher?

Speaker 26 (45:48):
I am?

Speaker 28 (45:48):
And you know what's funny, I called you because it's
my first year teaching, and I was really really excited
because it was the first day of school. And now
I have bad news for how it's going.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
How's it going?

Speaker 28 (46:01):
I had strapped twice and I had the flu. So
now that it's flues that I'm having everyone wipe everything down.

Speaker 6 (46:10):
Are you like Froggy in the studio with his lifeole wipes.

Speaker 23 (46:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (46:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 28 (46:15):
You open a cabinet and I've got sock in lifef
pretty much, and I'm just throwing away the pencils. I'm
wiping down the tables. I feel like Gandhi. I'm like,
just don't don't come too close to me.

Speaker 8 (46:27):
It's right.

Speaker 25 (46:30):
I'll pray with my.

Speaker 28 (46:31):
Break because I'm not having it happen again.

Speaker 6 (46:33):
So do we know with certainty that this does help
when you light all things when you wipe things down.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yeah, it says right on it. Well, okay, it says it.

Speaker 6 (46:42):
The company that's charging you for this item is saying it.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Its right on the top.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
It says kills cold and flu viruses, and there's a
little three next to it, which I don't know what
that means.

Speaker 10 (46:52):
I want to kill the viruses that it doesn't kill,
because there's that's only ninety nine.

Speaker 6 (46:57):
Yeah, I'm with my Look, I'll get that one percent. Yeah,
all right, well, I'm so sorry to hear that. Your
your first year teaching has been so sickening. But Aubrey,
just just.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
Keep wiping stuff down. And you know, we love our teachers.
We're supporting you.

Speaker 28 (47:09):
Okay, all right, thanks.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
I love you too.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
Elvis it says right here kills influenza a on hard
non poorous services.

Speaker 6 (47:18):
I know, I know, but it's the company you're paying
is saying that. I mean, it's the same as this
radio station. We say we do twenty minutes commercial free.
It's like eighteen.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
You know what I'm saying. I mean, we're not always
honest about this. Let's be honest. Consider the source. Okay,
what do you want to think about the honesty going on?
You know, I told you the story about when I
was a kid and I swallowed a Barbie shoe.

Speaker 8 (47:41):
Oh yeah, and then something weird happen. You like, found
it in an X ray.

Speaker 3 (47:45):
Right, No, it came out during a colonic also weird.

Speaker 25 (47:51):
Huh.

Speaker 10 (47:51):
Now, Barbie shoe was really well made.

Speaker 6 (47:54):
It lasted a long time. No, Okay, seriously, when you
were a kid, or maybe later life. Did you ever
eat anything that you weren't supposed to eat and then
you had to find it later?

Speaker 10 (48:08):
Not that I remember.

Speaker 11 (48:09):
I had to go to the doctor once because there's
this little Indian snack and it has these tiny little
balls of like sugar, and I wanted them, so I
stuffed them in my.

Speaker 8 (48:17):
Ears and nose and they got lost. My mom had
to take me the doctor to get them out lost.

Speaker 3 (48:22):
Did they find them?

Speaker 8 (48:22):
Yeah, they got them out.

Speaker 3 (48:23):
See that's the thing.

Speaker 6 (48:24):
We have a lot of people who listen who work
in the emergency room, and you know they have to
extract all sorts of things from all sorts of different orifices.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
So how did you find the milk cud in your underwear?
Is my first question?

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Oh though, the milk dut in my underwear was a
whole different thing. That was how do you know that
was a milk cud? It was a milk dut? What's scary?

Speaker 21 (48:44):
So when I was a kid, I ate a rubber
eraser that looked like a cheeseburger lose an ice cream cone,
and the other was they look so looks real.

Speaker 10 (48:54):
And then your food up sessions started.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
Did it come out right? Yes?

Speaker 37 (49:02):
So I ate a few lego heads. Now, with lego heads,
you could pop them on and off. This lego head
that I wanted to switch heads on wouldn't come off.
So I did what any reasonable kid would do. Use
your teeth. So once you use your teeth, there's no
controlling it once it pops off. I swallowed it. You
think I would learned my lesson because a few days
later I did the same thing. So for a week

(49:23):
I was shifting through stuff to find lego heads.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
That's the thing. Some of these things look tasty yellow. Yeah,
why not?

Speaker 6 (49:32):
People are texting in and I ate a cigarette. Never
came out. I swallowed my mom's wedding ring as a child.

Speaker 8 (49:39):
Oh unfortunate.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Okay, so Brody ate a penny.

Speaker 4 (49:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 21 (49:43):
The sad part was it came out tails.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
It did. Literally, we'll get into that later.

Speaker 8 (49:49):
As an adult, I have swallowed a couple of my
teeth diamonds.

Speaker 6 (49:53):
How many you know when you first had the diamonds
and planted on your teeth, you got a lot of
grief from some of our listener did and then it
went away. But they just dislodge and you swallow them.

Speaker 8 (50:03):
Yeah, I know exactly.

Speaker 11 (50:04):
The moment I lost one of them, I bit into
a piece of broccoli and I was like, oh, that
was kind of tough.

Speaker 8 (50:09):
Diamond. Gone, well, it's.

Speaker 10 (50:11):
Tiny enough for I guess it just kind of comes out.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
In your expensive art. Yeah, it just comes out.

Speaker 11 (50:16):
Cheap, so it depends where you go to get them.
But this one that I had right here is one
hundred bucks.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Must be nice to be wealthy. Yeah, right.

Speaker 11 (50:25):
I actually sent a message to the person who put
it in and I was like, listen, this was only
here for like two weeks.

Speaker 8 (50:30):
I want it back.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
She was not responded text. When I was younger, I
put a marble at my nose because I thought I could.
I could hold the other nostril and shoot it across
the room. It got stuck and it had to be
removed by a doctor. I don't know, so I think
we learned our lesson at an early age. Mine was
the Barbie shoe. Yeah, and it came out.

Speaker 10 (50:52):
Don't shove things up your orifice, I know.

Speaker 6 (50:54):
But the body is an interesting thing because I know
I had a cat, and I think I've told you
this before.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
I had a cat who ate ten soil off the
Christmas tree.

Speaker 6 (51:01):
So she kitty still had the tempsil coming out of
her mouth for like a day, but then the rest
of it came out of her rear end.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
So you could you actually floss my cat?

Speaker 20 (51:11):
And I didn't know.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
Should I just cut it and just pull it out?
You do you pull it out? They do you pull
from I don't know. I'm afraid he gets it got
wrapped around some oregon or something.

Speaker 10 (51:20):
I would pull off from the bottom, because once it's
in your butt, you don't want to come in out
of your mouth.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
May get back to you on.

Speaker 10 (51:27):
That, please do How are you hi?

Speaker 3 (51:33):
It's one of those conversations, one of those conversations you
know won't end up on TV. Sorry, So, Patty, what'd
your brother.

Speaker 5 (51:41):
Eat a paintball?

Speaker 3 (51:44):
How did you eat a paintball? I mean those are
there's a big aren't they?

Speaker 10 (51:50):
But did it explode in his stomach?

Speaker 25 (51:52):
No?

Speaker 9 (51:53):
He was really sick afterwards, and we had a compleat
control about it and they said that he would be fine.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Did he poop green for a couple of days?

Speaker 5 (52:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
It's disgusting, all right, Well, thank you, thanks for listening. Anyway,
I don't know what I saw a barbie and it
reminded me of the Barbie shoe. People say, where do
you come up with these stupid things to talk about?
It's just you see something you're like, Oh right. We
was talking for fifteen minutes about swallowing things like Barbie shoes.

Speaker 11 (52:19):
More interesting than swallowing too. Sometimes there was this whole
list of interesting things people have gotten lodged up there. Yes,
not in an attempt to keister, but just in general.
One person tried to get the thing out of their
booty with tongs and then got the tong stuck too.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 8 (52:33):
Look at the X ray.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
Oh my god, what it looks like.

Speaker 10 (52:39):
At the GINO office?

Speaker 8 (52:41):
What is the thing that was originally up there?

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Yes?

Speaker 8 (52:44):
I don't know. If I can say.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
It then, okay, hello Larry, Hello Larry. As a teacher,
your students, I'm sure they swallow stuff all the time.
What was the latest? It was an air an air pod.

Speaker 11 (52:56):
Oh no, it'd be so upsetl wa wait, like the
little piece you put in your.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
Ear right, Yeah, okay, it's not too big.

Speaker 8 (53:04):
No, how'd you swallow it?

Speaker 3 (53:06):
His students swallowed?

Speaker 16 (53:09):
He said he did research to make sure it wouldn't
hurt him. Or kill him, then.

Speaker 9 (53:12):
Decided to eat it.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
Could you still hear it?

Speaker 15 (53:15):
Yeah, as I went down to the topic, you can hear.

Speaker 10 (53:18):
It and playing in his stomachs.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
All right, thank you, Larry, and thanks for being a
cool teacher. We need more of you. We appreciate it
very much. All Right, moving on, we call that network
time killer.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
This is Elvis Duran in the Morning Show. Don't answer
the phone, Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
All right, Brody, what's your phone tap about today?

Speaker 21 (53:46):
He so listen to.

Speaker 31 (53:47):
Miguel wanted us to phone tap his wife, Linda. Linda
is was extra stressed about Thanksgiving. She was making dinner
for his family and her family. So I called her
the day before Thanksgiving and told her there was a
problem with the turkey they ordered.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
Okay, that's a Thanksgiving. That's a good way to mess
with someone's head. Let's listen to Brody's phonetaster.

Speaker 21 (54:06):
Hi, I'm looking for Linden honey.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
Uh huh, this is their Hi.

Speaker 31 (54:10):
This is Pete camp Hi from Yeah Rush. I'm just
calling a confront your order that's been picked up today.

Speaker 5 (54:15):
Oh yeah, that's great, thank you.

Speaker 25 (54:17):
Huh.

Speaker 31 (54:17):
So we've got four pounds of potato salad, four pounds
of macaroni salad, three pounds a half sour pickle, and
of course the turkey.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Yep, that's correct. Now, your order was.

Speaker 31 (54:27):
Very hard to fill for the turkey, but we got
it's all taken care of. Why well, because I just
found your order a little strange. But it's all taken
care of. We were able to do it.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
We got twenty two pound turkeys.

Speaker 25 (54:38):
How many twenty two pounds turkeys?

Speaker 16 (54:39):
We just need one?

Speaker 31 (54:40):
No, no, no, no, not twenty two pound turkeys. You
have twenty two pound turkeys. We have them all for you.
I had to call some other stores.

Speaker 13 (54:47):
No, no, no, we ordered one twenty two pounds turkey.

Speaker 31 (54:54):
Yeah no, I took the order from let me see here,
your husband, Miguel. He said, hey, you got twenty two
pound turkeys, and I said yeah. He said, I'll take them,
sign me up. So that's what we do.

Speaker 11 (55:05):
Know who in their right mind orders what is it to.

Speaker 31 (55:09):
To twenty turkey twenty two pound turkeys? We will do
a lot of a lot of trouble to get these.
I had to call four other stores in the area.

Speaker 3 (55:16):
How about it.

Speaker 4 (55:16):
Thank you?

Speaker 17 (55:18):
I'm sorry that who Why wouldn't you know this doesn't
even make any sense. That doesn't I have sixteen people
coming tomorrow.

Speaker 14 (55:26):
I can't serve that to people.

Speaker 10 (55:28):
I don't understand.

Speaker 31 (55:29):
I'll show you again. You give one person a turkey.
I thought it was a cute idea. I figured you
having like a get your own turkey kind of party.

Speaker 25 (55:35):
Wait, but I don't understand.

Speaker 31 (55:36):
You do this all the time, Like, are you stupid?

Speaker 25 (55:38):
You had to have realized that was like, oh, excuse.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
Me, can meet it at excuse me?

Speaker 34 (55:42):
I am.

Speaker 31 (55:42):
I am a supermarket professional, ma'am. I've been doing this
seventeen years.

Speaker 21 (55:46):
I think I've heard turkey professional.

Speaker 17 (55:48):
Then you would know that nobody in their right mind
is going to order twenty two pound turkeys.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
This like literally doesn't make any sense. You had to
have known that was a mistake.

Speaker 21 (55:56):
Listen, people are into different things. I don't know wherever
you were from.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
I don't know.

Speaker 21 (55:59):
That's that's what you do. I don't question people.

Speaker 8 (56:01):
Where we're from.

Speaker 18 (56:02):
What are you talking from?

Speaker 23 (56:03):
Ohio?

Speaker 38 (56:03):
This doesn't make any sense, and something needs to be done,
and I need an.

Speaker 18 (56:08):
Actual twenty two pound.

Speaker 11 (56:10):
Turkey because it's tomorrow and I'm thinking people coming over here.

Speaker 21 (56:14):
HeLa, Where am I going to find a twenty two
pound turkey?

Speaker 5 (56:16):
You know what I mean? Well, maybe you should have
thought of that when you're placing that order. That something
seemed off.

Speaker 31 (56:20):
Does that mean you don't want the three pounds a
half salad pickles?

Speaker 20 (56:23):
You know what?

Speaker 19 (56:24):
I have a great thanksgivving.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
Miguel. All right, so we're gonna have to follow me
right now.

Speaker 20 (56:31):
Good.

Speaker 31 (56:31):
I was gonna say we should call her. Okay, great,
let a good question. We call her back here?

Speaker 11 (56:35):
We God, what is going on right now? What do
you talk to the people from the I'm good at
kill them?

Speaker 3 (56:44):
We're talking about?

Speaker 11 (56:45):
No, No, you ordered twenty two pound turkeys.

Speaker 24 (56:50):
Twenty turkeys that are two pounds.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
You're still the same amount of Turkey's look the problem?

Speaker 13 (56:55):
Wait?

Speaker 9 (56:55):
What what's the problem? I don't even know how to
cook those.

Speaker 26 (56:58):
What do you mean?

Speaker 20 (56:59):
What's there's a small Turkey's just a lot of.

Speaker 25 (57:01):
Them cooking, and they're gonna be different.

Speaker 10 (57:03):
I don't even know how I'm gonna get twenty turkey
in a like, I don't.

Speaker 5 (57:06):
Understand how to cook that.

Speaker 17 (57:07):
Like that's that's ridiculous and embarrassing for that matter, Look,
like pickin Linda.

Speaker 19 (57:14):
Who is that?

Speaker 31 (57:14):
This is Dave Rody Melvistad in the Morning Show. We're
phone tapping you right now. Your turkey's really on the way.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
It's fine.

Speaker 14 (57:19):
I don't know if it should be mad or relieved.

Speaker 17 (57:22):
Wait, oh my god, Oh my god, I'm gonna sound.

Speaker 5 (57:25):
Like a crazy person on the radio.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Elvis Duran's phone tap.

Speaker 31 (57:31):
This phone table was pre recorded with permission granted by author.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
The Elvis Oran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
Whose fault is it? If your phone wakes you up
during the night? Is it yours? Are the person calling
you at that awful hour? Which one?

Speaker 8 (57:48):
Both?

Speaker 37 (57:49):
Ye?

Speaker 3 (57:49):
Both? Now both shoddy? Answer? Come on?

Speaker 10 (57:55):
Can I ask the question?

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Okay, yes, before we get into answers, yes, a question.

Speaker 10 (58:00):
Does the person calling know what you do for a living?

Speaker 3 (58:04):
Yes?

Speaker 10 (58:04):
Okay, Well there you go.

Speaker 6 (58:06):
Okay, So Gandhi's was first. Gandhi was first out of
the shoot. You said it was originally everyone's fault, but
now you're saying yours.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Why is that?

Speaker 11 (58:16):
Because you control the volume of your phone and you
do not disturb features and all that kind of stuff,
So if you leave it on, then it's fair game.
Every time it dings that it's going to wake you up.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
So you're so you're all about shutting off the world.

Speaker 6 (58:29):
So if anything happens and someone needs to get in
touch with you, well tough, teddies, you'll have to talk
to me tomorrow.

Speaker 11 (58:35):
Right, I mean, I leave my mom and doesn't really
bug me like that. For the most part, it will
stay on silent, but at night time it goes.

Speaker 10 (58:40):
On, Yeah, what about you, Danielle theirs because they know
what you do for a living, they know you need
your sleep, and to me, I get so angry and
I'm like, God, really, I mean you know what I do.

Speaker 8 (58:52):
That's a little disrespectful.

Speaker 6 (58:54):
Yeah, the phone rang at eleven fifteen last night and
I was so deep out, Hey.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
Did I wake you?

Speaker 6 (59:03):
Because my response is always no, I had to wake
up to answer the phone anyway. So, Froggy, you're saying
it's my fault or their fault yours? Why is that?

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Because the iPhone has a feature you can put on
do not disturb, and then you can also add to
that feature where if somebody calls you twice, you can
put people certain people, so if it's really important they
call you twice, it will go through. So the first
call or text will not wake you up, but a
second call will because that could be important.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
So I see it as, here's your fault.

Speaker 6 (59:34):
If someone calls me at eleven thirty at night, it
better be for a very good reason. And you know what,
and I want you to call me at eleven thirty
if it's a great reason. I'm okay with that. But
this was just a hey, my god, I haven't talked
to you so long and I was just thinking about it.

Speaker 3 (59:47):
I call you.

Speaker 10 (59:47):
Yeah, that's not that's terrible.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
No, what Nate.

Speaker 32 (59:52):
It's totally that person's fault that has the phone, because
I'm taking you know what you do. Here's what I'm
telling you, because Heather the other night left her phone on,
like the alerts on, and her friends in Australia start
texting her at two thirty in the morning, so all
of a sudden, it's.

Speaker 10 (01:00:10):
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

Speaker 32 (01:00:13):
I'm like, well, why didn't you silence your phone? Like
this is totally her fault for not silencing the phone,
not the people in Australia who it's like noon there, Yeah,
what about you, scary.

Speaker 30 (01:00:23):
I'm not responsible to keep your schedule it's your device.
You program it, it's got a million buttons and features
on it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
You've lived with it your entire life.

Speaker 21 (01:00:33):
You should know how to make it work at different times.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
So, first of all, Missy, I don't like your sassy,
imperious attitude. Secondly, you know what, I'm here for my
friends and my family. So if you need me at
eleven thirty at night, my phone is on for you.
But you know what, guess what, I'm gonna block you
every night. So if you have something earth shattering, if
you need for me to bail you out of jail,
then you're aft man.

Speaker 21 (01:00:56):
And you can do that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
You can silence me and make everybody go, well you're done,
that's right.

Speaker 6 (01:01:01):
Well, but by the way, you've been silenced for years.

Speaker 3 (01:01:04):
No, but I'm serious.

Speaker 6 (01:01:05):
You know what I do for a living, you know,
and I'm if I'm going to be the kind of
friend and family member that's open to you around the clock.
You need to respect the fact that I'm here for you,
but only if you really need me. You know what,
you know, if and I don't have kids, I can't
imagine what it's like having kids and then turning off
your phone, and if they don't live in the house
with you like Daniel and your kids move out of

(01:01:26):
the house.

Speaker 3 (01:01:27):
Your phone's going to be on around the clock.

Speaker 10 (01:01:29):
You know you're a mom, Yeah, of course, all right.

Speaker 11 (01:01:32):
I swear my parents have me blocked because I called
them and they never answer.

Speaker 8 (01:01:36):
I'm like, mom, dad, someone kid needs me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Hey, Jared's online. Two let's see. You see he works
weird hours, so he knows Hi.

Speaker 33 (01:01:45):
Jared, good morning.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Good morning.

Speaker 6 (01:01:49):
So you work nights, so your hours are opposite of
all your friends and family, right.

Speaker 33 (01:01:55):
Yeah, I'm actually on my way home right now.

Speaker 6 (01:01:57):
Yeah, So when you're you're gonna go to sele And
so if your phone rings are on noon today and
it's someone that knows your schedule, are you going to
be a little pissed off?

Speaker 23 (01:02:07):
Well?

Speaker 33 (01:02:07):
No, I put my phone on silent during the day
when I'm sleeping, and then if I need to call
someone back and leave them a voicemail, I assume that
if I call them in the middle of the night,
I should just be able to leave a voicemail because
they should have their phone on silent too.

Speaker 6 (01:02:25):
Yeah, they should shouldn't. Well, these are the friends who
are not there for you. If there's an emergency. I
don't know, just thinking it through.

Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
All right. Well, listen, So you're going home from work
right now?

Speaker 20 (01:02:38):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
Oh man, So what time do you go to sleep
and what time do you wake up? What's your sleep schedule?

Speaker 20 (01:02:44):
Like?

Speaker 33 (01:02:46):
Well, during the week, I don't have a sleep schedule.
I have a one year old son during the day,
so I'm awake pretty much all day except for when
he naps.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
Wow, that's why you do, not, sir, cause you have
a one year old.

Speaker 27 (01:03:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 16 (01:03:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 33 (01:03:02):
And then during the weekend, I'm I just switch back
today's schedule so I can hang out with my wife
and my son.

Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (01:03:09):
So you've got a crazy schedule, Jair. Well, look, I'm
glad that you spend some time with us on your
way home.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Just what you need to like.

Speaker 6 (01:03:16):
The last thing you hear before you go to bed
or whatever is us bitching and moaning about people calling
in the middle of the night. Sorry about that, but look,
thanks for listening to us.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
Take it easy.

Speaker 33 (01:03:24):
Thanks you too.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Yeah, what's that, Nate? I got a question? Is grave
digging still a nighttime occupation? You know how they call
it the graveyard shift? When do you dig your graves
for your victims? I get it if you murder somebody.

Speaker 32 (01:03:40):
But if you're digging graves and say a cemetery, why
do they do it at night? Like, I couldn't think
of a worse time to dig graves in the middle
of a cemetery.

Speaker 20 (01:03:49):
Thing.

Speaker 10 (01:03:49):
Don't think they just do because I've been to the
cemetery to visit my father, and I have seen them
digging the graves during the day.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
Oh okay, I don't think what made you think of this?
Where did this come from? Odd?

Speaker 32 (01:04:00):
Because we had you know, Jared was calling in about
you know, he works at night. Then I'm thinking about
graveyard shifts. I'm like, why do they call it graveyard?
And I think probably because they did graves at night.

Speaker 6 (01:04:10):
Oh well, then that's that's the horse of a different color.
As I say, I never thought about the graveyard shift.

Speaker 32 (01:04:16):
Yeah, I've just forgot about it. I'm like, that seems
like a pretty morose time to be digging. Great, wat
if you work at the graveyard, will you call us?
We need to hear from your text us at fifty
five one hundred. We need your graveyard insight. Yeah, all right,
thank you, very good point. I never thought about that.

Speaker 6 (01:04:33):
Someone just sent this text They call it the graveyard
shift because back in the old days of the plague,
they would have bodies in the cemetery with bells tied
to their toes in case they weren't dead. They would
stay up all night to listen for the ringing of
the bells. Is that true or not?

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
Oh my gosh, it's creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
Yes it is if it's real. But I need to
believe that. Yeah, I like that. Well, hold on, we
have Ryan online one he.

Speaker 6 (01:05:00):
Worked in a cemetery. Maybe he knows the graveyard shift
and what it's all about.

Speaker 15 (01:05:02):
Hey, Ryan, good morning, Elvis, how are you doing.

Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
Okay, So, where does the term graveyard shift come from?
Do you know?

Speaker 15 (01:05:11):
That's exactly where it comes from, the bells on the toes.
But I did live and work in the cemetery for
nine years when I was younger, and I never once
said graves. That changed after the nineteen hundreds, I do believe.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
Wow, well so so questions. So would you dig graves
only at night while no one's around?

Speaker 15 (01:05:36):
No, sir, it was always during the day.

Speaker 6 (01:05:38):
Okay, I'm wondering. Does people just wonder where squirrels sleep?

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
It's just one of the same things, right, I was
here yesterday and.

Speaker 6 (01:05:47):
That grave wasn't there. I don't know, it just appeared overnight,
so it's during the day. All right, now, we know.
Thank you so much, and I have a good day, Ryan,
I appreciate. If ever we need a cemetery answers in
the future.

Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
We'll call you.

Speaker 20 (01:05:58):
Okay, thank you.

Speaker 15 (01:06:00):
There, you have a great day, all right, you.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
Too, All right, well, there you go. A lot of answers,
a lot of stupid questions. Thank you for being on
the show this morning.

Speaker 6 (01:06:10):
Celebrate the journeys that bring us closer together with an
exclusive offer on a vehicle you'll adore at the Mercedes
Benz Holiday Love Celebration.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
It's going on now through January second. Learn more at
mbusa dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Slash special offers Elvis Duran in the Morning Show, Elvis
dan in the Morning.

Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
Show, Now, Gandhi, Yes, where'd you find this list?

Speaker 8 (01:06:34):
It's a list of things that guys do every day.

Speaker 11 (01:06:37):
We all encounter it that are way creepier.

Speaker 8 (01:06:40):
Than they think it is. And as girls, we're kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
Like, maybe you could stop doing that, Okay, all right, yeah,
you know what.

Speaker 6 (01:06:47):
And I'm glad that producer Sam is in with us
because we need we have eight guys and producer Sam
will hold around.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Okay, you ready? Okay, So number one creepy thing guys
do that we don't know it's creepy. I probably do,
but Scary doesn't.

Speaker 8 (01:07:03):
Okay. So the number one thing is asking a woman
where's my hug?

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
As soon as Scary does that, where's you are? Look,
you know it's okay to be a hugger.

Speaker 6 (01:07:17):
I'm always afraid to hug unless you know that a
hug is okay. I never ever want to hug someone
unless it's it's a safe situation.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
Does it make sense? Yeah, you have to.

Speaker 11 (01:07:29):
So you're saying like you wait for them to extend
the arm and start moving.

Speaker 3 (01:07:32):
Yes, yeah, and if they if they come to hug me,
I'll happily hug.

Speaker 6 (01:07:36):
But I don't want to be the aggressor when it
comes to hugging. Scary, you really should follow that.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
I don't ask where's my hug?

Speaker 30 (01:07:42):
I just for some reason, my just hug instinct is
to like, oh, huh, how are you and I.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
Just I just hug and yeah, well no, just think
about it, because you don't. Not everyone is a hugger,
you know, and maybe you have to learn it the
hard way one time and then you okay, okay, So
that's creepy number one. We've got like forty five of these.
This is going to be great. What's number two?

Speaker 8 (01:08:03):
Number two?

Speaker 11 (01:08:04):
Saying something like, oh my god, you're perfect within the
first few minutes of meeting somebody.

Speaker 3 (01:08:09):
Oh no, no, good god, hold on, I got Brittany exactly.
Brittany had to go help us. What did Brittany say?

Speaker 32 (01:08:17):
Well, Brittany said that she was at a gym one time,
and she got a Facebook message from a guy later
on that night saying that I enjoyed watching you work
out at the gym, a random guy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
See, I don't understand. Maybe it's just me.

Speaker 6 (01:08:31):
I don't understand why people don't see these things as
so creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
They don't do them. Why do you do these things?
They're all creepy.

Speaker 8 (01:08:39):
I don't know. I wish, but doing this, maybe they'll stop,
all right.

Speaker 11 (01:08:44):
If you see the corner of somebody's tattoo and you
take it upon yourself to move their clothing so you
can see the whole thing, Like pull up a sleeve,
yeah no, don't touch me, or like move her hair
so you can see the top of the collar.

Speaker 8 (01:08:56):
Hone, No, don't do that. Don't don't approach.

Speaker 11 (01:08:58):
Maybe you could ask something about but don't just move
clothing very creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Don't don't touch anyone. Don't touch anyone. I just don't
touch anyone. Don't touch anything.

Speaker 6 (01:09:09):
If you see someone walk through and they're pregnant, don't
put your hand on their baby. If you like someone's hair,
don't touch their hair. No, I mean it's it's yeah, Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:09:18):
Go ahead.

Speaker 11 (01:09:18):
The hair thing drives me insane if my hair is curly.
And Sam knows this too, there's something about curly hair
that people.

Speaker 8 (01:09:24):
Just want to grab handfuls of it. Don't do that.
I got violent against you.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
That's how you get churned violent. And you should all right.

Speaker 11 (01:09:31):
Hassling somebody for a date because you know she doesn't
have a boyfriend. So even if she says no, you
keep well, come on, you're not dating anybody else, give
me a shot. No, don't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:40):
No means no, don't be desperate. No means no.

Speaker 8 (01:09:43):
This one.

Speaker 11 (01:09:43):
I think this happens a lot, and I've seen it
happen around here, giving unsolicited shoulder massages, staring.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
On that one.

Speaker 6 (01:09:56):
But I will tell you. Nate does that too, though
you do unsolicited shoulder massages.

Speaker 3 (01:10:02):
Oh no, I know when people No, I know you
don't want it. No, you know that. Listen to what
you just said. That's creepy. I know when people want it. Okay,
they show up hands. How creepy was that? I know
when people want it.

Speaker 11 (01:10:17):
Statement that is disgusting.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
You're not. This is my point, and you know what.

Speaker 6 (01:10:24):
I know it's all fun and games, but this is
a serious this is a serious conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:10:27):
You don't know when people want a massage. You don't know.
He just did like harassment training. Can we not be
talking about this right now? But well no, no, you
go ahead.

Speaker 11 (01:10:36):
My question to you, Nate is what is the signal
for I want a shoulder massage?

Speaker 8 (01:10:41):
But I'm not telling you I want it?

Speaker 32 (01:10:42):
Okay, Well, Danielle will do this thing where she like
rubs her own shoulders. I'm like, okay, she wants me
and she always says, oh my god, thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
Well okay, well, first I know because they know she does. No,
you don't know. You don't know. Okay, Okay. Maybe the
thing is you should never assume they want a massage.

Speaker 6 (01:11:03):
If it's Danielle and you know, or she's your sister.
Maybe that's a little different, but I don't know. I
think it's why is it? Why can't you just be
safe and ask, hey, do you would you like a massage?

Speaker 3 (01:11:12):
It's all you have to do. Well, I think that's creepy.
Just approach, go, go, go to Danielle and say, hey,
you have me to rub that out? I'm not doing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:27):
Better none, there's no non creepy way to ask if
you want a massage?

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
Yeah, yeah, you could.

Speaker 8 (01:11:34):
Be you know what your shoulders hurt? Can I help
you out? You could say something.

Speaker 3 (01:11:38):
I'll tell you. I'll tell you how it's not creepy
when it doesn't come from a creepy place. If I
see Danielle like rubbing her shoulders like it hurts, I'll ask, hey,
do you mean massage your shoulders real quick?

Speaker 6 (01:11:49):
I mean it's and I know it's not coming from
a creepy place, and I know Nate does his, but
just you should ask.

Speaker 3 (01:11:55):
You should, all right? Just me? Maybe I'm wrong, producer, Same,
Am I wrong?

Speaker 7 (01:12:00):
No?

Speaker 8 (01:12:00):
I don't think you're wrong. People should at least ask first.

Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
Ask Scotty b I massage him all the time. I
think he wants it.

Speaker 8 (01:12:05):
Come here, I think he wants it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:08):
I think he wants it again. A creepy thing to say.
Does it bother you when I touch you?

Speaker 13 (01:12:13):
No?

Speaker 39 (01:12:13):
I like touching of any kind from anybody. All right,
all right, yeah, okay, Line twenty four is Stella. Let's
let's talk to Stella. Oh, Stella, I'm just creeped out.
What's going on? Stella? Talk about this guy at work?

Speaker 7 (01:12:26):
Well, I used to work at this one place and
there was a guy who every time he would walk
over to my desk, well he was talking to me,
he would play with his junk and that was the.

Speaker 6 (01:12:35):
Ever yakat No wait, hold on, now, do you think
he was playing with it because he was he was
being suggestive with you, or he was just one of
those do do doo guy who's guys who likes to
adjust it and doesn't think about it.

Speaker 7 (01:12:48):
He was just creepy and just didn't I don't think
he thought about it. I think he was just creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:12:53):
You know what, here's the thing you should think about it.

Speaker 6 (01:12:55):
Next time you start grabbing your own private parts, think
about who's watching. God, just give it a little thought. Anyway,
did you you you finally got out of there. You
don't work with him anymore?

Speaker 7 (01:13:05):
Right, No, no, no, I don't work there anymore, and
he doesn't work there anymore either. But it was very creepy.
He would just be standing in front of my desk,
just playing with his stuff while he was talking.

Speaker 3 (01:13:15):
All right, all right, sorry about that, stell. I'm glad
you're you're in a better place now. I hope you are.

Speaker 15 (01:13:19):
Thank you, I am, thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:13:21):
Thanks for listening to us. I mean, remember scary, Yeah,
I know this is all coming back to you. Scary.

Speaker 6 (01:13:26):
I'm sorry, but scary sometimes scary Sometimes would be having
this was years ago. He would be having a conversation
with you, and he would start pinching his own nipples,
remember that.

Speaker 30 (01:13:34):
Yeah, it was just I don't know if it was
a nervous twitch I had it was.

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
It might have been a nervous twitch.

Speaker 6 (01:13:39):
But he would start he would start pinching his own
nipples and he wouldn't even think about it.

Speaker 21 (01:13:44):
But it wasn't me trying to make a sexual advance
on anybody.

Speaker 3 (01:13:47):
No, it was it was just me. You didn't know it.
It was just like this.

Speaker 6 (01:13:51):
It was just the need to be more aware of you,
of yourself pinching your own nipples, right.

Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Anymore? That's okay exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:13:58):
I've got Froggy's wife, Lisa, on hold, let's see where
this is gonna go.

Speaker 3 (01:14:02):
I'm not crazy, Lisa, I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:14:07):
And Scary and Nate because I've gotten a massage from
both of them and they were.

Speaker 22 (01:14:11):
Fantastic that they were.

Speaker 6 (01:14:16):
That's not what I'm saying, though, I'm just saying I
think I think it's worthy of just a quick.

Speaker 3 (01:14:21):
Hey, do you have me massage? You? You shouldn't just
start massaging someone with that not you just go in
or you don't.

Speaker 8 (01:14:27):
You know, it's not scary, you don't go in.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
No, Lisa, did you ask Nate and Scary for said
massage or did they just offer them up on their own?

Speaker 29 (01:14:36):
They offered them up on their own, all right.

Speaker 6 (01:14:43):
I'm not saying everyone's not okay with it, but there
are people who are, and so in order to make
sure you don't do something wrong, I would just I
would confirm that it's okay.

Speaker 3 (01:14:52):
That's obviously.

Speaker 32 (01:14:53):
If I'm in line at Whole Foods and the woman
in front of me looks tense, I'm not going to
touch her.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
But Lisa or Dan.

Speaker 6 (01:14:59):
Well, if she shops a whole food, she's probably in
she's probably tense. Yeah, listen, I'm not going to that's
another conversation. Yeah, all right, all right, Well, thank you,
thank you, Lisa, thanks for.

Speaker 3 (01:15:12):
Thank you.

Speaker 35 (01:15:14):
You're welcome.

Speaker 3 (01:15:14):
I love you, Love you too, Lisa. Koren is online
twenty one. Let's see what Karen's up to.

Speaker 16 (01:15:21):
Hi Karen, Hi, Elvis, how are you.

Speaker 6 (01:15:24):
I I'm surprised that more guys don't understand that they're
being creepy. I mean, this is creepy stuff. Anyway, what
do you want to talk about?

Speaker 38 (01:15:34):
So recently I went on a date with a guy
with a good first date and a few days later
he texted me that he had taken one of my
pictures from my dating profile and made.

Speaker 9 (01:15:44):
It his own background.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
Wow, how many dates have you been on?

Speaker 7 (01:15:51):
One?

Speaker 14 (01:15:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 38 (01:15:54):
It seems so soon, thanks.

Speaker 8 (01:15:57):
Prelude to kidnap.

Speaker 2 (01:16:01):
I feel so quick to judge, like, maybe he really
really liked.

Speaker 3 (01:16:05):
You right off the bat.

Speaker 2 (01:16:05):
I mean, I understand it sounds weird, but this is
a guy that maybe he thought, hey, I really like
this girl.

Speaker 6 (01:16:12):
Well no, maybe he did, but you need to see
where it's going. You know after one date it hasn't
gone anywhere. You do understand that, right, Yeah, I do
understand that.

Speaker 3 (01:16:22):
But what did you see him again doing.

Speaker 38 (01:16:25):
Something together on the date where it had some sentimental meaning.
I might have felt differently, but this is taken down
from my like, from an app, from a dating.

Speaker 3 (01:16:34):
Profile exactly, and.

Speaker 38 (01:16:36):
This name may want to make you run for the hills,
and it did.

Speaker 3 (01:16:40):
Oh I didn't know he proceeeded it with that. All right,
So you didn't date him again, did you?

Speaker 14 (01:16:47):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:16:47):
I did not?

Speaker 6 (01:16:48):
Okay, Well, look, hey, look I hope a lot of
guys are listening to this and rather than being offended
or thinking, okay, maybe there is something in what these
women are saying, maybe I should hear what they're saying.

Speaker 3 (01:16:58):
All right, Courn, thank you so much for listening to is.
Have a beautiful day. Okay, thank you too, all right? Bye? Yes, Gary.

Speaker 30 (01:17:04):
You know what would have been even creepier is if
that same guy took that dating profile picture and did
like a step in repeat style where it was just.

Speaker 21 (01:17:11):
Like her picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, all in one
frame like Andy Warhol.

Speaker 3 (01:17:15):
Yeah like that.

Speaker 8 (01:17:15):
I think it's creepy, ye, creepy.

Speaker 6 (01:17:19):
The same thing it's just you know, we've heard stories
something to the extreme where a guy will take someone
out on a date and then as they're pulling up
to her house, he'll pull his pants down and whip
his stuff out and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:17:30):
Like that, and stuff like that. You're like, what are
you doing? Man? What kind of.

Speaker 8 (01:17:35):
Dating books did you read?

Speaker 25 (01:17:36):
Or?

Speaker 8 (01:17:38):
Which is actually where this came from?

Speaker 3 (01:17:41):
Exactly right?

Speaker 6 (01:17:42):
I just I just don't see how they could turn anyone.
All right, what else is on this list?

Speaker 8 (01:17:45):
Oh gosh, there's so much stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:17:46):
Okay, wait with producer Sam, do you want to say something?

Speaker 19 (01:17:49):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:17:49):
Yeah, I have one.

Speaker 11 (01:17:50):
I hate when I put a little extra effort into
getting dressed, and in order to compliment me, a guy
will look up and down slowly and then tell me
I look nice.

Speaker 6 (01:17:58):
Look at you the ankles to the knees. I'm climbing
you with my eyes. I'm climbing you with my eyes.

Speaker 3 (01:18:08):
It is creepy.

Speaker 8 (01:18:09):
I think that everyone forgets too.

Speaker 11 (01:18:11):
Is we always talk about what's creepy, But the only
difference between creepy and romantic is how attracted you are
to that person.

Speaker 8 (01:18:17):
Like unpopular opinion, but fifty Shades.

Speaker 11 (01:18:19):
Of Gray was so creepy to me, but it just
showed up in my house.

Speaker 8 (01:18:23):
I'll call the police it was.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
It's creepy. No, I get that, but I just don't
think you can start doing next stuff after you've known
someone for five minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
It's like, I think it's creepy because Nate thinks he's hot.
He's there?

Speaker 20 (01:18:36):
Is that? All right?

Speaker 6 (01:18:37):
Well, all right, let me go to twenty four and
talk to CJ. I love how people are wanting to
participate in this conversation high CJ.

Speaker 3 (01:18:46):
Hey, Elvis, are you doing okay? We're talking about creepy guys.
Go ahead.

Speaker 23 (01:18:52):
Yes.

Speaker 16 (01:18:52):
In high school, I had a science teacher that would
put his knee on your desk and his crotch be
in your faith. Everybody would run the class to make
sure that they didn't have to sit in the front room.

Speaker 3 (01:19:05):
Ye oh, God used to do that. Really Yeah, not okay,
but knee on your desk.

Speaker 11 (01:19:15):
Yeah, like exactly what he's doing right now, like philosophical here.

Speaker 3 (01:19:21):
I don't need you dangling your chandelier in front of me.

Speaker 6 (01:19:23):
Get away. It's creepy. Just think about it, you know.
To be fair though, CJ, maybe he didn't know, you know,
but maybe he just didn't think about it.

Speaker 16 (01:19:33):
But all right, sometimes you just do it every day.

Speaker 3 (01:19:38):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
All right, CJ, thank you for your contribution. Have a
nice data. I know we're running kind of late, but
I'm gonna get I want to get to the end
of this list. What else is on the list?

Speaker 8 (01:19:47):
I'm gonna go through really quickly. If somebody is walking
down quickly.

Speaker 3 (01:19:50):
No way, no way, We're gonna getrough this quickly. Okay,
go ahead.

Speaker 11 (01:19:53):
If a woman is walking down the street and you
think she's cute and you pull up next to her
and start driving really slowly and talking to her, creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:20:00):
No, No, that's very creepy. Again that does Does that
really happen?

Speaker 18 (01:20:04):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:20:04):
Yeah, that happens all the time. It's very creepy.

Speaker 11 (01:20:07):
Giving casually touching a woman's thigh or back while you're
talking to her.

Speaker 8 (01:20:13):
Bro punch, Yes, that happens a lot too. Maybe in
here do it.

Speaker 6 (01:20:17):
I don't know, no offense, scary, but you do do that,
all right? If you're he does it to me too,
did you see when he touches me?

Speaker 3 (01:20:24):
I don't discriminate, I do he touches me. I'm like, oh,
that's how I community. Well, no, I don't. I don't
like people. I know. I don't want people touching me
unless I want you to touch me. Sorry, no, no, don't, don't.
I'm sorry, I don't want to. Sorry's attention to me.

Speaker 30 (01:20:42):
So to make my point, I put my hand on
your on your hip or on your hips or wherever
or you.

Speaker 3 (01:20:48):
And you did, we did? What else you have on
the list? What else? All right?

Speaker 11 (01:20:51):
If you're having a conversation and you block any entranceway
or exit in the room, you're being a little bit creepy.

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
Yeah, don't met lour someone.

Speaker 8 (01:21:03):
Leave the exit.

Speaker 3 (01:21:05):
It's all alleged. All right, Well thank you.

Speaker 6 (01:21:07):
So look you know what, and I guess the bottom
line here is think about everything you do before you
say it, before you do it.

Speaker 3 (01:21:15):
Don't be creepy scary? Can you work on those what's up? This?

Speaker 33 (01:21:23):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (01:21:24):
This is el n This is pretty Spears.

Speaker 19 (01:21:26):
The Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (01:21:28):
Oh nothing, just really disappointing some days it is.

Speaker 1 (01:21:39):
Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (01:21:44):
I want us to get very juvenile.

Speaker 8 (01:21:46):
Yes, I volunteers tribute.

Speaker 6 (01:21:49):
So our friend Jeff is going on vacation and I said,
where you're going yellowstone tetons?

Speaker 3 (01:21:56):
Okay, why are you laughing? So bro, he says, you know,
we're out Hearing the word te togs it makes.

Speaker 8 (01:22:02):
Me laugh, especially when you throw the grand in front
of it.

Speaker 3 (01:22:05):
The tetongs. Well, okay, it's it's it's mountains, it's a
mountain range. So why when you hear the word titons
do you start giggling like a little girl. It makes
me think of boobies, which makes me think of Danielle,
because when Danielle hears any word that sounds almost not

(01:22:27):
even close to, but sort of close to sexual, she
starts laughing. Yeah, like Daniell, your best friend.

Speaker 10 (01:22:32):
Yeah, like what, I'm a pianist.

Speaker 3 (01:22:38):
A pianist is a person who plays the piano.

Speaker 10 (01:22:41):
I know, but it's funny.

Speaker 3 (01:22:42):
Why is the word you have some big tits? Why
the word pianist funny to you?

Speaker 10 (01:22:47):
It sounds like penis venuses are funny.

Speaker 6 (01:22:50):
So the other day I said, oh God, it's a
little warm in here. Why don't you lower the temperature
on the AC?

Speaker 3 (01:22:55):
And it's scary says it's already on sixty nine, And
then I'm gonna start laughing.

Speaker 10 (01:23:00):
That's your favorite number sixty nine.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
Sixty nine right now? Yes, well, I know, but it's
it's that that's the temperature. It's a number.

Speaker 30 (01:23:07):
Every time I see a thermistad, I always put it
to sixty nine.

Speaker 3 (01:23:10):
Oh my god. So here's my point is this. We
are we are imbeciles, were children. We're children. I mean.
So there are many words you hear that make you go,
what do you want for dinner?

Speaker 7 (01:23:27):
Mom?

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
I'll have the eggplant.

Speaker 34 (01:23:31):
I know what.

Speaker 3 (01:23:31):
My mom eating eggplant at the same table I'm sitting at.
It's not funny. It's an eggplant.

Speaker 2 (01:23:37):
There's a restaurant chain here in Jacksonville called Dick's exactly,
and every day I'm like, yo, you guys want to
eat dick every day.

Speaker 3 (01:23:47):
I can't get enough of it. It's every night. What
kind of fruit is that? That's a calm quat. That's
my point.

Speaker 6 (01:23:56):
You know, you hear words, and there, I bet there
are a billion beyond what we just get. Save you
as an example, there are words that make you laugh,
or phrases or names of stores and you're like, oh,
I can't stop, I gotta laugh.

Speaker 3 (01:24:08):
Hello, Jennifer, Hi, how are you well? Okay? We're a
bunch of little kids like so we were saying that,
you know, our friend Jeff is visiting the Grand Tetons
and when people hear Titons, they think of boobies and laugh,
and I'm like, what are you four years old? So
you hear words that make you laugh? What do you
hear that makes you go?

Speaker 9 (01:24:28):
Okay? So I work for a paper mill. We make paper.
We have giant paper machines, and I work in a
male dominated industry, right, so I'll sit in meetings and
they'll talk about issues with the paper machines, in particular
the cooch pit and.

Speaker 3 (01:24:40):
The best you know, what's okay, what exactly is a
couch pit?

Speaker 9 (01:24:46):
Well, the cooch pit would be at the bottom of
the machine and it basically catches stuff that falls through
the wires on the paper machine when they're making paper.

Speaker 3 (01:24:56):
The cooch pit. All right, Okay, if you're in the
paper meal business, you know what a cooch pit is.
And you shouldn't laugh, But you laugh anyway, don't you. Jennifer?

Speaker 9 (01:25:05):
I laugh inside every time?

Speaker 3 (01:25:06):
Okay. Oh, thank you very much for listening to us.
Have a beautiful day.

Speaker 9 (01:25:11):
Thank you too.

Speaker 3 (01:25:12):
Guys, do you want to go to the New bottle,
the build down the street, the cooch pit.

Speaker 8 (01:25:17):
I like mine without pits.

Speaker 3 (01:25:19):
Pitless, pitless coach line line. See what's going on here?
Hello Cara, Hi, welcome to the show, and yes we
are high. Hello lady, What what innocent word do you
hear that makes you giggle?

Speaker 5 (01:25:37):
Dick?

Speaker 3 (01:25:38):
I'm sorry? So you're talking about the store Dick's Sporting
Goods because every.

Speaker 9 (01:25:44):
Time we drive by it in our town it's right
next to b Jayson.

Speaker 25 (01:25:51):
Of course, it's a constant running joke.

Speaker 3 (01:25:55):
My favorite when.

Speaker 6 (01:25:56):
You see a sign for a department store or a
shopping center is his day?

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
And then below that Staples. Oh god, so pack. All right, Karen,
thanks for listening to us. We'll go talk to Lauren.

Speaker 29 (01:26:07):
Hi, Lauren, Hi, Alguss, how are you today?

Speaker 6 (01:26:10):
We're acting like a bunch of juvenile delinquents.

Speaker 19 (01:26:13):
You've just made my morning, my whole morning on the
way to work.

Speaker 3 (01:26:16):
It's the worst.

Speaker 6 (01:26:16):
The other day I was watching in a garden, you know,
the Barefoot Contessa, which is a funny line too. Yeah,
and she was did they take the backbone out of
the chicken and flatten it out on the grill and
they called it spatchcock?

Speaker 3 (01:26:30):
You know it's really at the end of the day,
it's a chicken anyway.

Speaker 6 (01:26:33):
So what do you hear, Lauren that makes you just
kind of giggle like a little little girl.

Speaker 29 (01:26:38):
The parking and rear signs. I think that's absolutely hysterical,
especially at the adult shops. But there's one place in
my town that the sign actually says ninety nine cents
parking in rear.

Speaker 3 (01:26:53):
Wow. Wow, there's a bargain. Bargain in your tap. All right, Lauren,
thank you very much. Park in your ear. Got to
be honest. It makes me laugh too.

Speaker 10 (01:27:02):
There's a sign in my town that says no dumping,
and so my son always stands next to a cracking up.
He say take a bitch every next to the sign.

Speaker 3 (01:27:08):
He got that from you.

Speaker 36 (01:27:09):
By the way, Hello Eric, Hey, good morning guys.

Speaker 3 (01:27:13):
How's everything in Chicago today?

Speaker 25 (01:27:16):
Oh?

Speaker 36 (01:27:17):
It's hot out man.

Speaker 3 (01:27:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 36 (01:27:18):
I just want to say I listen to you guys
every morning instead of the radio station stations in Chicago.
You guys are are hilarious and fantastic. Oh man, have
gotten through so much.

Speaker 6 (01:27:30):
That's the nicest thing. And coming from one of my
favorite cities. I love Chicago anyway. So what do you
have in Chicago that makes you laugh like a little
idiot every time.

Speaker 3 (01:27:37):
You see it.

Speaker 36 (01:27:38):
Okay, So we have a restaurant chain out here. It's
a beef sandwich place and it's called Bono.

Speaker 20 (01:27:43):
Yes and stay and uh.

Speaker 36 (01:27:46):
There's there's billboards all over the expressway out here and
it says how big is your Bono?

Speaker 3 (01:27:55):
I hope you don't answer it out loud.

Speaker 36 (01:27:58):
I mean I giggle like a little girl.

Speaker 3 (01:28:01):
I love that.

Speaker 6 (01:28:02):
Next time in Chicago, I'm gonna eat your I'm gonna
somebody all right, Eric, thank you so much for listening.
Get your friends to listen to. We appreciate it very much.

Speaker 3 (01:28:15):
All right, love you too.

Speaker 6 (01:28:16):
Really another reason to go Chicago, eat some bona. Hello Martha,
Bye Martha. How are you. You're in a good space today?
Are you happy?

Speaker 10 (01:28:27):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:28:27):
I am very good. All right. So you're an adult,
but you still giggle like a kid when what happens.

Speaker 26 (01:28:34):
So I work with a guy named Dick, and so
when he gets visitors that come in, I say, oh, sure,
hang on, I'll go grab Dick for you. Or if
i'm looking or if i'm looking around for him, I'll
tell the other guys, hey, I'm looking for Dick a

(01:28:57):
running joke looking for Dick again.

Speaker 3 (01:29:03):
What does that say about you? But Martha, I mean,
if your name is Dick, I mean you're kind of
you're kind of cursed. And if you're a dick and
listening right now, our apologies to you.

Speaker 10 (01:29:13):
Is he a big die?

Speaker 3 (01:29:15):
Danielle? All right, thank you, Martha. You got to hand
it to Dick. You know, hi, Adam. So, Adam worked
at a cream cheese plant. So where can this go?

Speaker 33 (01:29:30):
Well, we have a homogenizer and it helps separate the
cream cheese and stuff.

Speaker 16 (01:29:35):
But when it breaks, the call for maintenance on radio say,
we need to fix the homo because the homo just blue.

Speaker 8 (01:29:43):
We have to fix our home all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:29:46):
Daniel I like it. We got a problem. You know,
we're gonna lose money. The homo just just blue. Adam,
thank you, thank you for separating that cheese. Have a
good day, man, Thanks for listening to it. Yeah that's scary.

Speaker 30 (01:30:00):
Walk past the freshly mopped floor and I see that
yellow sign slippery when wet, I start laughing.

Speaker 6 (01:30:04):
Yes course, all right, you know we can actually with
all the texts we've received today off this, we could
go on for fifteen hours I'm so Gandhi was talking
earlier Danielle about being a side piece. Oh yes, And
by the way, I hate the word piece.

Speaker 10 (01:30:19):
Because she's not a side piece right now.

Speaker 3 (01:30:21):
I am not well, we hope. Do we know this guy?

Speaker 8 (01:30:25):
We do?

Speaker 6 (01:30:26):
I was reading this somewhere and I pulled it off.
I don't know, I can't remember I got it. He
says he loves you, but something doesn't feel right. However
hard it may be to hear. It could be that
you're his side piece. There's so many.

Speaker 3 (01:30:38):
People out there who are living this new relationship life
with someone. They're like excited about it, but something isn't connecting. Yeah,
there's something missing. Ye, something in the milk ain't clean.

Speaker 10 (01:30:52):
On Saturday nights, he's never around.

Speaker 3 (01:30:55):
Or he never wants to be in pictures with you.

Speaker 11 (01:30:57):
Yeah, there's so many signs, especially you know in the
age technology.

Speaker 8 (01:31:00):
Just keep your eyes open.

Speaker 3 (01:31:02):
Hi, Megan, how are you?

Speaker 12 (01:31:03):
I'm good?

Speaker 3 (01:31:04):
How are you doing well? So you were a side piece?

Speaker 10 (01:31:09):
I was?

Speaker 3 (01:31:09):
And by the way, just using the word piece to me,
I don't want to change it.

Speaker 6 (01:31:13):
It's just well, I don't know. Until we change it,
we'll call it a side piece. So what tipped you
off in the beginning, Megan.

Speaker 19 (01:31:21):
So I I kind of knew, well, he told me
that I knew he was with somebody. He was a
friend of my dad's.

Speaker 3 (01:31:27):
Okay, I love that. It's okay, I dated a friend
of my dad.

Speaker 10 (01:31:31):
It's all right, so funny.

Speaker 19 (01:31:38):
So I knew he was with somebody, but he told
me he was ending it, but so like he was
like with us at the same time, and I got
the whole like, oh, we're going to end it. I'm
going to end it. And so I knew then, and
it just it took a really long time for him
to end.

Speaker 3 (01:31:52):
It right, And you knew, but you knew in your
in your heart that he was still with someone else
because of the little the little hotel signs.

Speaker 16 (01:32:00):
Right, absolutely, like let me go on this list.

Speaker 6 (01:32:06):
First of all, I said, he doesn't really ever hang
out with you on the weekends, And scheduling things with
him always was last minute, right?

Speaker 3 (01:32:12):
Is that how it worked?

Speaker 15 (01:32:13):
Yes?

Speaker 19 (01:32:14):
And he always so he he was I guess you
could say he was kind of like a truck driver.
He always wanted me, but like he was local. He
would go home every day, so it wasn't like a
cross country truck driver. He would always want me to
meet him during the day while he was on his break,
or to take the route with him. It was it
was almost never.

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
Like, let's go, it's almost too obvious.

Speaker 32 (01:32:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:32:36):
Number number two on these signs you are a side
piece list is when he suddenly dips or can't make
a special occasion. The excuses he offers are flimsy.

Speaker 19 (01:32:43):
Oh yeah, right, oh, absolutely right.

Speaker 6 (01:32:46):
You've been dating over a year, still haven't met his
family or friends? Did you ever meet his friends?

Speaker 19 (01:32:51):
I did, but it was because we were kind of
like in the same world.

Speaker 3 (01:32:56):
Yeah, I say, yeah, but so you were secretly together?

Speaker 19 (01:32:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah you never.

Speaker 3 (01:33:02):
Did you ever spend the night with him?

Speaker 14 (01:33:04):
People didn't know?

Speaker 3 (01:33:04):
Did you ever spend the night with him?

Speaker 17 (01:33:06):
I did?

Speaker 3 (01:33:08):
So how did you get away with that? If he
was with someone else? It was that kind of a
hard thing to do.

Speaker 19 (01:33:12):
It was a hard thing to do. A friend of
mine actually was moving and well she had already moved in.
Her house was listed, and we used the house that
was listed.

Speaker 3 (01:33:24):
Okay, wow, well that's convenient.

Speaker 6 (01:33:29):
But at the same time, you know, if so, you
should have been sleeping it is it is house, his
apartment but.

Speaker 3 (01:33:33):
That was off limits, wasn't it.

Speaker 20 (01:33:35):
Yes?

Speaker 19 (01:33:36):
It was.

Speaker 6 (01:33:37):
How about social media? But was he online at all?
Like Instagram stuff like that.

Speaker 19 (01:33:42):
Yeah, but we were friends because he just had mutual friends,
so that wasn't anything unusual.

Speaker 3 (01:33:47):
But well you never took pictures together and posted them?

Speaker 19 (01:33:50):
No?

Speaker 16 (01:33:51):
No, no, no no.

Speaker 25 (01:33:52):
Well.

Speaker 3 (01:33:54):
How about PDA?

Speaker 6 (01:33:55):
Did you ever like hold his hand in public or
like a little kiss?

Speaker 25 (01:33:59):
There was?

Speaker 19 (01:34:00):
There was PDA and that's actually what I think was
like the downfall of it was I wanted the more
PDA and he didn't, and I was like, this sucks.

Speaker 6 (01:34:15):
So you were a side piece. Look, you know, there
are some people who enjoy being in a relationship with
little commitment whatsoever. But you know, knowing that there's someone
else involved.

Speaker 3 (01:34:24):
Is a very big downer. I guess yes, And you
know you deserve better than that. I hope you've moved
on to something better.

Speaker 20 (01:34:31):
I did.

Speaker 19 (01:34:32):
I got married, we have a beautiful little boy together,
and we're happier than I could ever have imagined.

Speaker 6 (01:34:36):
There you go, Megan, I know, but sometimes you got
to go through those weird times to learn, you know,
I get it.

Speaker 3 (01:34:42):
Thank you, Megan, very nice. So it's still Gandhi. Yes,
you were the side.

Speaker 8 (01:34:45):
Piece, like a weekend.

Speaker 3 (01:34:48):
Gandhi said he had a whole woman at home.

Speaker 8 (01:34:50):
He had a whole girlfriend. Okay, So I met him.

Speaker 11 (01:34:53):
He worked across the hallway from me, and we met whatever,
We hung out, hung out for a weekend. He was
really cool and he was taking so many pictures, like
the whole time, pictures of us just doing all kinds
of stuff. So then then on Monday, I went to
find him on you know, Instagram or something like that,
and he was nowhere to be found. And I thought,
that's really weird because he was taking so many photos.

(01:35:14):
How would he not be anywhere online? He can't just
be keeping him for himself. So I told my friend
she found him in two point five seconds. He had
blocked me from everything because he had a whole girlfriend.

Speaker 3 (01:35:26):
Whirl yes on that.

Speaker 11 (01:35:29):
Oh, I just completely I blocked him everywhere. I blocked
his phone number. I just completely stopp talking to him
because I'm like, there's there's nothing that can be said.
You're a horrible person. And the best part was my
friend who he knew. He met her that weekend and
her Instagram name is her full name. She went and
liked every single picture of him and the girlfriend because
she wanted to send him a signal about that was smart.

Speaker 3 (01:35:49):
That was smart. Hey Jennifer from ukonor from Seatown.

Speaker 9 (01:35:54):
Hey, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 25 (01:35:55):
Calling from charles Ville, Virginia.

Speaker 3 (01:35:57):
How are you doing great?

Speaker 25 (01:35:59):
How are you well?

Speaker 6 (01:36:00):
I'm good, But you know, it doesn't feel good to
be the side piece, right. No, he told you he
was divorced and you believed him.

Speaker 25 (01:36:09):
Yes, give me one Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:36:12):
Is that him?

Speaker 25 (01:36:13):
No? No, we take it for a year and he
had told me he was divorced, and turns out that
he wasn't.

Speaker 12 (01:36:24):
But we had dated for a year and he had
a son, and I was okay with him having a son.
We were okay, and his son would go out on
dates with us. But then his wife showed up at
work at my job and she was seven months pregnant.

Speaker 8 (01:36:39):
Whoa, That timing doesn't work out?

Speaker 33 (01:36:42):
What?

Speaker 25 (01:36:43):
Why?

Speaker 3 (01:36:43):
That means that they were only dating seven months ago?
That's a long time.

Speaker 9 (01:36:48):
Yeah, No, wait.

Speaker 10 (01:36:51):
A minute, and you were with them a whole year.

Speaker 25 (01:36:54):
Yes, the time, and his son knew about me, and
his son would hang out with us and everything'smed normal.
So I was very shocked.

Speaker 8 (01:37:05):
Yeah, if that work pregnant. That's traumatized.

Speaker 3 (01:37:08):
So did you pull the plug or how did you
end this?

Speaker 25 (01:37:11):
Oh? Definitely we I definitely ended and blocked them of
every social media, changed my phone number because he was
he was trying to attempt to come to my job
and look for me, and yeah, it was crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:37:24):
Look, if you're a if a man, woman doesn't matter.
If you have someone on the side and you're trying
to keep things from them, you're being sneaky about it.
Stop it is real Israel. It's true.

Speaker 6 (01:37:36):
By the way, I didn't mean to call Charlottesville Sea Town.
Seatown is a grocery store chain. I haven't seen you,
and I'm glad. I'm glad you moved on to uh
nicer life. No more side peace.

Speaker 25 (01:37:50):
Action, No, definitely not.

Speaker 3 (01:37:54):
Thanks for listening to us. Thanks a lot.

Speaker 10 (01:37:56):
Can you imagine you're at work and pregnant wife walks
in and you've been with you didn't even know we
had a wife. Could you imagine, oh love for that
to happen with me.

Speaker 3 (01:38:07):
That'd be so exciting.

Speaker 11 (01:38:08):
I've gotten a call before like, hey, just so you know,
this is my boyfriend.

Speaker 8 (01:38:12):
I'm like, thank you so much for that too. Goodbye.

Speaker 21 (01:38:14):
Yeah, an interesting thing on the text.

Speaker 35 (01:38:18):
There's a trend here and some people are saying that
there were a side piece and they became the main
piece after some time. Can you graduate from a side
piece to like the main course?

Speaker 3 (01:38:28):
Well, look, I don't know. It's wanting to be a
side piece.

Speaker 6 (01:38:30):
It's another thing to be Dating's someone who's still trying
to dissolve another relationship and they're honest with you about it.

Speaker 3 (01:38:35):
It's still icky for somebody. Yeah, yeame, somebody's saying they're
the side side. I was a side side chick.

Speaker 39 (01:38:42):
Hey, I'm Scotty B and I'm Andrew and we have
a podcast called serial Killers.

Speaker 3 (01:38:46):
Have you ever been in the Cereal Island? Said to yourself,
there's so many serials it could be overwhelming.

Speaker 21 (01:38:51):
So on serial Killers, we'll try them before you buy them.

Speaker 8 (01:38:53):
Listen to new episodes of serial Killers.

Speaker 39 (01:38:56):
Every Monday on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:39:00):
Killers with a C Crush.

Speaker 1 (01:39:02):
Elvis Duran in the Morning Show, Elvis Duran in the
Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (01:39:08):
Let's talk about farting. Let's make fart noises.

Speaker 8 (01:39:12):
Have you seen the gender reveal baby fart?

Speaker 20 (01:39:14):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:39:15):
So what is that? Do you fart? In the pink
or blue dust comes out.

Speaker 11 (01:39:18):
Yes, So I only saw one and a girl was
laying down with no pants.

Speaker 6 (01:39:21):
All right, I've been doing that for years anay, go ahead?
So so how does this work?

Speaker 11 (01:39:26):
She was laying down no pants on, she farted and
blue powder just shot out of her butt. And I
have so many questions about just the logistics of how they.

Speaker 8 (01:39:34):
Set that up.

Speaker 3 (01:39:37):
Do you have any blue powder to insert in my butt?
Because I'm going to a gender reveal party?

Speaker 8 (01:39:43):
You can fart on command? Like, there's just a lot,
a lot of stuff I wish.

Speaker 3 (01:39:47):
I could do that.

Speaker 8 (01:39:47):
Yeah, thank god, you can't.

Speaker 3 (01:39:50):
You're gonna fart dust? I mean, uncle Johnny does it? No,
I'd want to fart on command, like somebody said, all right,
do it now? You just do it? Back to fart Now,
let's play name who Farted?

Speaker 15 (01:40:04):
Scary?

Speaker 3 (01:40:04):
Any of music? Is it time to play who Farted? Time?

Speaker 13 (01:40:09):
Now?

Speaker 3 (01:40:09):
Do you think in ten years we'll be able to
talk about farting on air or it will be so offensive?

Speaker 8 (01:40:13):
I'm immediately offended.

Speaker 3 (01:40:16):
I'm offended. I'm a fart flake.

Speaker 8 (01:40:18):
I think scared.

Speaker 3 (01:40:19):
Just bur scary. If you burp on the show one
more time only I'm allowed to burp on the show.
Warming up, It's now time for Who Farted? Who Farted?
All right? Call me now, I'll be just say hello,
Welcome to the show. Are you ready to play Who Farted?

(01:40:41):
Welcome to Who Farted? There's the caller there? All right, Well,
no one wants to play.

Speaker 8 (01:40:48):
I think they're probably wondering how this game is played.

Speaker 3 (01:40:53):
I think it's a self explanatory. You have to guess
who farted?

Speaker 8 (01:40:59):
Are we gonna like to describe the fart? Are they
going to hear the fart?

Speaker 16 (01:41:02):
You're gonna hear it?

Speaker 3 (01:41:02):
Okay, hold on, Welcome to Who Farted?

Speaker 5 (01:41:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:41:06):
Hi, you ready to play it?

Speaker 10 (01:41:08):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (01:41:08):
Yes, yes, yes, I love you.

Speaker 3 (01:41:15):
Wait wait, wait, what's your name? What's your name?

Speaker 4 (01:41:17):
My name is, Jennifer says my birthday? Oh my god, birthday?

Speaker 6 (01:41:23):
Because you're gonna play all right, So now what's your
name again?

Speaker 3 (01:41:31):
Jennifer?

Speaker 23 (01:41:32):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:41:33):
All right, Jennifer.

Speaker 6 (01:41:34):
All right, So someone is now about to cut one.
You have to guess who it was. You ready, listen?

Speaker 3 (01:41:43):
Here we go.

Speaker 4 (01:41:45):
All right, that's scary all the way.

Speaker 3 (01:41:50):
That's not scary. One wire time. Here we go listen closely?
All right, who was that you got it, You got it.
That's GANI. You know what's happening to Jennifer. People are
lining up around the block to play the part.

Speaker 26 (01:42:10):
I'm glad.

Speaker 4 (01:42:11):
I Happy birthday, birthday, thank you?

Speaker 3 (01:42:15):
Wait wait, home on, princess. What are you doing for
your birthday? Where are you going? What are you doing?

Speaker 17 (01:42:19):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:42:20):
Me and my kids, Me and my three kids, We're
just going to stay at home and watch Disney Plus
and this is yeah do it?

Speaker 3 (01:42:28):
Look you know, happy happy birthday. Uh you know what?
How many kids do you have?

Speaker 4 (01:42:34):
I have three twain, boy and girl, and I have
a six year old son who's in kindergarten right now.

Speaker 3 (01:42:41):
Oh cool, You've got a great family. One. Where's Andrew? Andrew?
Can we send? Can we send Jennifer a five hundred
dollars Amazon gift card? Okay?

Speaker 4 (01:42:49):
Good?

Speaker 3 (01:42:53):
You know what it says. Here's the thing.

Speaker 6 (01:42:54):
It's your birthday. You deserve the best day, and you're
gonna spend it with your kids. I think that's awesome.
You're a great mind.

Speaker 4 (01:43:01):
Thank you so much. I've been trying my best to
doing a trip and everything I call everyone, listen to
those phone taps. Oh my god, every day.

Speaker 3 (01:43:10):
I know, I know you wear yourself out listening to
this crap. Finally want something.

Speaker 32 (01:43:15):
It is good.

Speaker 4 (01:43:17):
Laughing and going.

Speaker 6 (01:43:18):
Thank you, Jennifer, it's a pleasure speaking with you. So
on the way the five hundred dollars Amazon gift card.
I have to get some information off the off the
air from you. Okay, okay, and thanks for playing who Farted?

Speaker 3 (01:43:29):
On your birthday? Who Farted? I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:43:39):
I'm a grown man hosting a radio show having a contest.

Speaker 3 (01:43:43):
Called who Farted? I don't know what what? Nate, you're
the senior executive. I was enjoying it. I was hoping
I would be the one to fart. Who knows, maybe
you'll be the farter, like can't wait. It's a song
that you're playing sounds like fart. It does something there?
What's that scary that every day? Well, we may to
rip every day.

Speaker 10 (01:44:03):
We're not normal.

Speaker 1 (01:44:05):
Elvis Duran in the Morning Show. Elvis Duran in the
Morning Show.

Speaker 3 (01:44:19):
We talked to David in Chicago. Hi David, welcome to
the show. What's going on with you?

Speaker 24 (01:44:26):
Good morning, mister Duran.

Speaker 13 (01:44:27):
How are you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:44:28):
I'm doing fine. Let me warn everyone, David is about
to speak about his penis. Go right a hill.

Speaker 34 (01:44:33):
Okay, So with my penis, I had to go to
the doctor's office. I had such an awkward Scottige moment.

Speaker 3 (01:44:40):
Yeah, what happened.

Speaker 34 (01:44:40):
I had to get an ultra I had to get
an ultrasound done, and my package is out penis however
you want to call it, and in walks the ultrasound technician.
It's one of my wife's best friends.

Speaker 6 (01:44:52):
Okay, okay, all right, this is this is not a
roller coaster.

Speaker 3 (01:44:58):
Calm down, everyone.

Speaker 8 (01:45:00):
What do you do?

Speaker 3 (01:45:01):
You just sit there?

Speaker 8 (01:45:02):
You put your penis the way and walk out?

Speaker 3 (01:45:04):
No, no, go ahead, but don't listen to her. David,
what did you do with you and your penis?

Speaker 34 (01:45:10):
I just sat there and thought to myself, Yeah, this
is going to be so awkward for the rest of
my life.

Speaker 6 (01:45:16):
No, no, but tell them what else happened during the
course of that same day.

Speaker 34 (01:45:21):
So I went to the dinner with my wife and
she goes, hey, our friends are going to meet up,
and in walks the best friend that just looked at
my penage.

Speaker 8 (01:45:33):
I hope she washed her hands.

Speaker 3 (01:45:35):
Oh gosh, well, okay, so this happens. Look, you know what,
We've got to stop thinking that people in the medical
field really give a rat's ass about our private part?
Best friend, she might so, Now now your wife's all
of her friends are going to know about about mister
ding dong.

Speaker 34 (01:45:53):
Yes, that's the only thing I can think about. Was
my ding dong is now in the princess of her
head at all times.

Speaker 6 (01:45:58):
I beg your pardon. Well, there's a visual right there. Well,
I know, but so did you? Did she order the
sausage at dinner?

Speaker 3 (01:46:05):
Tell me, yeah, there's nothing better that I like going
to the doctor and someone will come in to give
me my whatever in my you know, the shot, and
they'll play your pants down let me see, okay, and
right as the needles going.

Speaker 6 (01:46:18):
Into my ass, they go by the way we love
your show. No, yeah, please don't assert things in my
butt when you're talking to me like that.

Speaker 3 (01:46:25):
I'm sorry, what's that?

Speaker 11 (01:46:27):
I have a question for the guys when you go
to a doctor in this situation, which is worse to
not be excited at all or to be excited when
they touch you?

Speaker 3 (01:46:35):
Neither neither either. You don't want to be non excited,
you don't want to be excited.

Speaker 8 (01:46:39):
Is there a middle ground?

Speaker 6 (01:46:40):
Yeah? Yeah, but I'm going to tell you this, and
David will attest to this. And guys, know when you
know that, you know you're just sitting there in the road,
but you know they're gonna come in and look at
everything you do.

Speaker 3 (01:46:49):
Kind of fluff yourself a little bit, you do. You
got to pull on it a little bit. You gotta
true all right, Well that said David.

Speaker 34 (01:46:59):
Turtle Off exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:47:03):
All right, David, have a beautiful day you and your penis,
and thanks for listening. It's nice to know both of
you are listening at the same time.

Speaker 3 (01:47:10):
Have a great day. Okay, thank you, No, there you go.

Speaker 10 (01:47:14):
I need somebody else.

Speaker 3 (01:47:16):
Daniel it's an ultra s. I don't care. Time to
grow up, Danielle.

Speaker 10 (01:47:19):
If my husband's best friend walked in and he was
my onecologist, I'd be like, I see you.

Speaker 8 (01:47:25):
That's enough for me. Elvister ran the haggiest.

Speaker 1 (01:47:29):
Elvister ran in the Morning show.

Speaker 6 (01:47:34):
All Right, we're done, We're out of time. We'll see
you next time, so make sure you're here with us
until then. Say peace out, everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:47:40):
Body