January 7, 2025 • 7 mins
We recount our weird massage experiences...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hey, can we talk about first world problems? We were
talking about this during the song earlier. You were talking about, yeah,
a massage problem. Right, Yes, I.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Got a massage. I haven't gotten one in so long.
I was like, oh, my body's so tired, I mean massage.
I got one and it was amazing, and now my
upper back hurt. She really got in there.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
And it's really it's like, you got a massage. Yeah,
well it's boy, that's smarts. Whatever.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I was like, don't even complain about it. You got
a massage, Shut up, it hurts.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right. Let me give you another first world problem,
massage problem. I went and had a massage last night,
and I've never had such a bad massage in my life.
I mean, it was as if this woman has never
ever studied or I don't even know how she got
a job.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
They gave you the.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Probably Yeah, she's probably on the bench like most of
your football team, Yeah, exactly, the j Anyway, so she
started in and I have it was ninety minutes, okay,
and so I'm thinking, dear God, how much longer? And
what do you do? Do you say you know what
I've I've changed my mind to believe that's.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
The worst show. I have to say. When you're in
the middle of it and you want it to be over,
you're like, this is not cool.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Well it was so bad about it?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Was it painful? Or was she just not getting in there?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Was it was everything? She did not get in there
where she needed to get in there, and she got
in there where she shouldn't. Like my calves. Today it
feels like someone took a baseball bat and beat my calves.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Geeze, my gosh, I think you should be allowed to
retrust someone else in the middle of it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
In the middle, Okay, stop stop it. It was a
ninety it was a ninety minute massage. It felt like
seventeen hours, it really did. It felt like a plane
trip to Europe. Another first world problem. Yes, Nate, what
I switched to men only.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
I'd had a couple of bad experiences with female massage
therapist suits and so only men now I feel like
you should try that. I mean, you kind of have.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well, I had the worst I had the worst massage
I ever had from a guy named Elvis. That was
the name of the massuse and he has since been fired.
From this place.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
But let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
This guy flipped me around like you all of a sudden,
I'm like, flip flip, throwing my body all over the
My arms were flailid. I'm like, And after the massage,
I went to the front desk and I go, I'm
not so sure what I just experienced, but I'm pretty
sure that's not what it was supposed to happen. And
he was let go not much after that. I think
(02:38):
a lot of people complain.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Did he put his dinger on your phonet? And he
did not that I know.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
He did not beat his dinger.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
He didn't dong you no, like Gandhi calls it donging.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Anyway, back to each thing, only men allowed to massage him.
Gandhi seemed a little perturbed over that line. What's wrong, Gandhi?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I mean, I could appreciate hat you wanting to switch
it up, but I don't think that you can blame
all the women for giving you a terrible massage.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Okay, On the whole, you kind of want somebody with
strong hands. Yeah, and so it's not a foregone conclusion
that the woman doing your massage is going to have
very meaty hands.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
And pause. It trusts me.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
If you know, they come out and they look like
they could play in the NFL, great, I'm all for it.
But I kind of want big, strong hands and you're
only really going to get that in the big meaty guy.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Well, unfortunately, you've had a bad run of yeah monsiewurs
or whatever a woman is whatever. Yeah, I've had my
best massages have been from women. Yeah, me too, But
I will say this, she was really bad. It took forever.
I feel like I'm still there, it's still going on.
You are, hey talking about the guy Elvis who was
(03:59):
massaging you who got fired. Yeah, this is this is
I don't mean to make fun. There is a there's
a spa that's kind of famous downtown Manhattan, and there
was a guy in there who was getting a little
too into women's private areas where it was massaging, and
which is awful. And I'm not making fun of that
at all. It may be very clear awful. So he
(04:21):
was reported, it actually made the newspaper. He was reported,
and he was fired, and this huge, huge amount of
women got so mad that he was fired because they
were going to him like four times a week.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, yeah for everyone. Yeah, but that happened in my neighborhood.
I told you that there was a massage place, and
all of a sudden it got, you know, shut down
because of the same thing. And a lot of my
friends go, haha, now I know why my husband wanted
to go there so often. That made sense.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Now, look, I'm Gandhi, No, my.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Place has very clear signage we do not do that.
And I'm like, oh that Indica, maybe you do.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
The people who took all this in this place, it
says keep your underwear on.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
No, I think I told you guys this, But my
the place I used to go to all the time,
they got shut down and they had the sketchiest voicemail
as to why. Their reason. Literally just said we're closed
for two months because for some reason.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, soon broke the underwear ruble or something.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, and Diamond had never gotten a massage, and we
went on our off the grid trip she got her
first one. She came out and she said, I think
I'm dating this woman. I love her so much. I've
never been touched so intimately in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, look again, I'm not saying that that is permissible
or good at all, but it's kind of interesting how
people expect different levels of service when it comes to massaging,
asked Nate. And he grew up in Eerie, Pennsylvania, where
apparently there was a place in town that used to
go to all the time. Yeah, well, can I say that, Elvis?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
I don't think you just did well. Places would get
busted for.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Can I say this? They call it?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Okay? I think yeah, okay, you know, yes, it happens everywhere. Danielle,
rather than giving the term who's he on the phone with?
This is making an appointment? What do you do? All right? Well,
we got to get into the Danielle report while you're
doing that.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Okay? What?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yes? Scary? What am I the only person who hates massages?
I detest them. I don't like massages. I feel weird.
I can't relax, and I know that you're supposed to
end up relaxing, but I don't want them. You're not alone.
A lot of people don't like massages. What about you, Froggy?
Do you like massages?
Speaker 5 (06:44):
I do like massages, but I don't want to go
to one of those places that rhymes with shack. I
don't want to go to one of those places like
I always hears something. Oh, there's one of those down
the street. I don't want to go there. No, I'm
all good. I want to go to a reputable place,
is doing a good service. I don't want anything else.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
No, thank you. Wait, what what rhymes with shack? Jackshack? Oh?
Oh my god? Is that what they call him?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Yes, there's one down, there's one here and in X
jack's here, and yes there's it's known to be a
jack shack. You go there and.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Before Nate with someone Wait, hold on, we gotta tell Nate.
Nate was talking to.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Try to get somebody on the I'm trying to get
his name.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I can't listen to me. Yes, Jess is going to
have to hold uh. The term from Froggy is a
jack shack. We called them weenie whacken joints. God, it's
such a visual.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
You know Scotty Beech has booked a trip to Froggy.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Scotty said he can't get massages because he just lives
in fear the whole time that something's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I can't do it, Scotty
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hey, can we talk about first world problems? We were
talking about this during the song earlier. You were talking about, yeah,
a massage problem. Right, Yes, I.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Got a massage. I haven't gotten one in so long.
I was like, oh, my body's so tired, I mean massage.
I got one and it was amazing, and now my
upper back hurt. She really got in there.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
And it's really it's like, you got a massage. Yeah,
well it's boy, that's smarts. Whatever.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I was like, don't even complain about it. You got
a massage, Shut up, it hurts.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right. Let me give you another first world problem,
massage problem. I went and had a massage last night,
and I've never had such a bad massage in my life.
I mean, it was as if this woman has never
ever studied or I don't even know how she got
a job.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
They gave you the.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Probably Yeah, she's probably on the bench like most of
your football team, Yeah, exactly, the j Anyway, so she
started in and I have it was ninety minutes, okay,
and so I'm thinking, dear God, how much longer? And
what do you do? Do you say you know what
I've I've changed my mind to believe that's.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
The worst show. I have to say. When you're in
the middle of it and you want it to be over,
you're like, this is not cool.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Well it was so bad about it?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Was it painful? Or was she just not getting in there?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Was it was everything? She did not get in there
where she needed to get in there, and she got
in there where she shouldn't. Like my calves. Today it
feels like someone took a baseball bat and beat my calves.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Geeze, my gosh, I think you should be allowed to
retrust someone else in the middle of it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
In the middle, Okay, stop stop it. It was a
ninety it was a ninety minute massage. It felt like
seventeen hours, it really did. It felt like a plane
trip to Europe. Another first world problem. Yes, Nate, what
I switched to men only.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
I'd had a couple of bad experiences with female massage
therapist suits and so only men now I feel like
you should try that. I mean, you kind of have.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Well, I had the worst I had the worst massage
I ever had from a guy named Elvis. That was
the name of the massuse and he has since been fired.
From this place.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
But let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
This guy flipped me around like you all of a sudden,
I'm like, flip flip, throwing my body all over the
My arms were flailid. I'm like, And after the massage,
I went to the front desk and I go, I'm
not so sure what I just experienced, but I'm pretty
sure that's not what it was supposed to happen. And
he was let go not much after that. I think
(02:38):
a lot of people complain.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Did he put his dinger on your phonet? And he
did not that I know.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
He did not beat his dinger.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
He didn't dong you no, like Gandhi calls it donging.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Anyway, back to each thing, only men allowed to massage him.
Gandhi seemed a little perturbed over that line. What's wrong, Gandhi?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I mean, I could appreciate hat you wanting to switch
it up, but I don't think that you can blame
all the women for giving you a terrible massage.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Okay, On the whole, you kind of want somebody with
strong hands. Yeah, and so it's not a foregone conclusion
that the woman doing your massage is going to have
very meaty hands.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
And pause. It trusts me.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
If you know, they come out and they look like
they could play in the NFL, great, I'm all for it.
But I kind of want big, strong hands and you're
only really going to get that in the big meaty guy.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Well, unfortunately, you've had a bad run of yeah monsiewurs
or whatever a woman is whatever. Yeah, I've had my
best massages have been from women. Yeah, me too, But
I will say this, she was really bad. It took forever.
I feel like I'm still there, it's still going on.
You are, hey talking about the guy Elvis who was
(03:59):
massaging you who got fired. Yeah, this is this is
I don't mean to make fun. There is a there's
a spa that's kind of famous downtown Manhattan, and there
was a guy in there who was getting a little
too into women's private areas where it was massaging, and
which is awful. And I'm not making fun of that
at all. It may be very clear awful. So he
(04:21):
was reported, it actually made the newspaper. He was reported,
and he was fired, and this huge, huge amount of
women got so mad that he was fired because they
were going to him like four times a week.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, yeah for everyone. Yeah, but that happened in my neighborhood.
I told you that there was a massage place, and
all of a sudden it got, you know, shut down
because of the same thing. And a lot of my
friends go, haha, now I know why my husband wanted
to go there so often. That made sense.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Now, look, I'm Gandhi, No, my.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Place has very clear signage we do not do that.
And I'm like, oh that Indica, maybe you do.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
The people who took all this in this place, it
says keep your underwear on.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
No, I think I told you guys this, But my
the place I used to go to all the time,
they got shut down and they had the sketchiest voicemail
as to why. Their reason. Literally just said we're closed
for two months because for some reason.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, soon broke the underwear ruble or something.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, and Diamond had never gotten a massage, and we
went on our off the grid trip she got her
first one. She came out and she said, I think
I'm dating this woman. I love her so much. I've
never been touched so intimately in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, look again, I'm not saying that that is permissible
or good at all, but it's kind of interesting how
people expect different levels of service when it comes to massaging,
asked Nate. And he grew up in Eerie, Pennsylvania, where
apparently there was a place in town that used to
go to all the time. Yeah, well, can I say that, Elvis?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
I don't think you just did well. Places would get
busted for.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Can I say this? They call it?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Okay? I think yeah, okay, you know, yes, it happens everywhere. Danielle,
rather than giving the term who's he on the phone with?
This is making an appointment? What do you do? All right? Well,
we got to get into the Danielle report while you're
doing that.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Okay? What?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yes? Scary? What am I the only person who hates massages?
I detest them. I don't like massages. I feel weird.
I can't relax, and I know that you're supposed to
end up relaxing, but I don't want them. You're not alone.
A lot of people don't like massages. What about you, Froggy?
Do you like massages?
Speaker 5 (06:44):
I do like massages, but I don't want to go
to one of those places that rhymes with shack. I
don't want to go to one of those places like
I always hears something. Oh, there's one of those down
the street. I don't want to go there. No, I'm
all good. I want to go to a reputable place,
is doing a good service. I don't want anything else.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
No, thank you. Wait, what what rhymes with shack? Jackshack? Oh?
Oh my god? Is that what they call him?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
Yes, there's one down, there's one here and in X
jack's here, and yes there's it's known to be a
jack shack. You go there and.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Before Nate with someone Wait, hold on, we gotta tell Nate.
Nate was talking to.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Try to get somebody on the I'm trying to get
his name.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I can't listen to me. Yes, Jess is going to
have to hold uh. The term from Froggy is a
jack shack. We called them weenie whacken joints. God, it's
such a visual.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
You know Scotty Beech has booked a trip to Froggy.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Scotty said he can't get massages because he just lives
in fear the whole time that something's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I can't do it, Scotty
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