September 16, 2025 • 56 mins
In this episode of “Shrink This!,”Lisa and Nick go head-to-head with their favorite poison: resentment. From VIP tables that leave you broke to grandma duty that leaves you broken, nothing builds bitterness faster than biting your tongue. The crew breaks down why swallowing your anger just makes you fatter, sadder, and drunker—and why saying the thing — out loud, now, before you explode — is the only way to keep your friendships, your spine, and maybe even your tits intact. Expect real stories, zero filters, and the kind of honesty that’ll make you resent us too.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, You're the problems. Come on, come down,
go clamb take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
(00:37):
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You the
podcast no one's listening to. No one's talking about and
I could gam to Creps. But yet secret room hiding
the sadness with me is Nick's gooble eddie who is
(01:00):
wearing sunglasses that will immediately be told by me to
take them off, and I'll tell you why. No, he's
such an idiot, Celia, shut up. When we're driving today,
I said, what is with those glasses? And he said
his female friend had them and he thought they looked good,
so he bought them. Also, he's wearing her bra because
(01:23):
his tits are huge and it looks good on her.
Please take off your glasses only because no, I'll tell
you it leads into our topic for today. By the way,
Strength this Show with Lisa Lampanelli. Please send us your
email if you need advice, if you're so desperate that
you can't afford therapy, you don't want to afford therapy,
or you just don't want to really go that deep.
(01:45):
Send us your questions at shrink this Show at gmail
dot com. Celia will then weed out the ones that
are negative and awful and give me the easy ones
to answer. Is that true, Celia is your microphone on, Hi, Celia,
she's here. Put this today. Our topic is resentments. And
(02:07):
see here's the deal. In the old days, when I
was a quiet young glass, if someone showed up with
sunglasses on, that's one of my bugaboos. I ever liked
it because I couldn't see their eyes and I communicate
a lot through the eyes, you know, And I would
pulled it in. I'd be like, oh my gosh, is
it my place to say take off your e f
(02:29):
and glasses. I can't see your eyes. So I would
build a resentment and then I would never hang out
with them again. So that's why I think it's important
that I told you once I had a female friend
no I'll tell you this is not going to be popular.
This opinion I'm going to give you. She had a
very heavy Japanese accent. Her name was Umi. Well, every
(02:53):
time we hung out together, I get a headache because
I'd strain and I'd know when you're pooping. That's how
much I was straining to understand the accent. So I
have a headache and I disappeared. I should have instead
bought her a language course and how to speak like
an English That's what I should have done. But the
(03:13):
resentment will grow. And while I understand people have certain
limits and things, I have to accept. The more that
we can bring up when we're becoming resentful, the better.
Is that not true? Nick? Why let it faster? Is
my question?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
You can't let it faster, dude? Then you turn into me.
You're a thirty seven year old man wearing sunglasses and
a Saba Carpenter T shirt.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
And who's misshapen?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
And who's misshapen right now? Just from sheer depression?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Do you think resentments help? I think you ever notice
the thinner people are the less resentments they have? No
do you ever notice that if you get it out
of your chair, if it gets it off your chest.
You're so much more unburdened. Absolutely, we're not eating our feeling.
We're not drinking our feelings. We're not shooting the smack.
(04:04):
We're not smoking the crack like Celia does. That's how
she lost the weight. By the way, it's the crack,
I know, and you know what it works? So who cares?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Fully love it for you? Yes? What is it? Oh?
They are a good combination platter.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
So I'm kidding, she's twenty three.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
You did it on your own, I mean, and even
if she didn't, who cares.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Let me see you. I can't really see you.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I really want to try them on you.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Listen, you're barely holding it together without let me say cut.
She do look cute? You can leave them on the
whole show. Oh yeah, they look really cute all right.
So oh, by the way, just a quick show note.
If you're seeing a different type of video than you
usually do, you may or may not, it's because there
was a video problem in the studio. So if we're
(04:57):
looking a little different from the angles, then that's what
it's about. I'm about true transparency.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
The iPhone camera ads about thirty thirty five.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Pounds not to me because I'm slightly right right yet,
So Nick, I know we've talked in the past about
resentments you brought up when you had to drive old
Granny around. Now old Granny And for those of you
who didn't hear episode whatever, where Nick was complaining about
driving old Granny around. Old Granny's dead, so we're allowed
(05:29):
to talk about her.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
And she died in the car.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Accent ironically enough, when you were.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Not driving her in the end.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yes, So when do you think the resentment started to
build about being the go to for the caretaking of someone?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I think, Man, I mean, it wasn't even I definitely
was annoyed, all right. So let's let's preface it this way.
Every holiday I always had to like go pick her up,
right and bring her places I live. For those who don't,
I live in Connecticut, right, she lives it. I live
in like southern Connecticut, Fairfield County. She lived in New
Michelle in Westchester, so I would have to drive down
(06:08):
from Connecticut pick her up a New Mischelle. Then we
would have to go battle traffic all the way to
upstate past Albany every year, right, And I used to
hate it because one year I suggested that she just
comes up to me an hour and then we could
drive the rest of the way. Traffic freaks. Every year,
the traffic would piss her off and blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Right, but I remember the story. So my question is,
when how many years had you done this before you
started to notice that it was really bothering you? Or
was it immediate? Was it the first time?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I think it started to bother me when she would
complain to her sisters about it, and then her aunt
my great aunts would call me. That's when it was
probably a few years in so it was like you
were like, hey, this is I'd be like I was,
you know, I went from all the time driving her
to like now I'm like twenty seven. I'd be like,
heyqu we like, let's switch it up this year. Let's
and I would get calls why don't you just pick
her up? She's your grandmother, Why are you doing this?
(07:09):
Like I'm not doing it. I'm just trying to avoid traffic,
and that's it. So it took. It took a few years,
and that's what caused the resentment of like, like why
is this a fucking why is this such a fucking
big deal.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Well did it start? Because I think when I've been
processing resentment recently, I'll notice it first, like in the body.
So you notice it in the neck, You notice it
in your gut, you notice it in your heart or
in your A lot of people notice it in their
throat because I can't say what they want. So did
you notice that it manifests itself anywhere? Because if we don't,
(07:42):
if we don't feel something, we can't react to it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
For most of my stuff, it's always lower back stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh really yeah, do you have a previous injury there?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
I do. It's so I don't know for sure. I've
just it's always been a point of contention for me.
Like I I don't know if I ever herniated a disc.
I don't really know. I've just kind of rehabbed it
and been back and helped, you know, figured it out
and done exercises and whatever. But there were I think
it's more emotional than anything like after to be honest,
(08:14):
after she died, my back for a year was just
like I mean sometimes walking hurt. Wow, Like it was
really like it was immediate almost like I remember burying
her on a Friday in the funeral and the whole
week leading up to it, and then Monday, I was like,
I'm gonna work out today, and like, within ten minutes
of working out, I hurt myself.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
So we could still blame Granny for everything bad in
your life because she's the reason you're fat.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Exactly. Yes, it was just so long ago, like eight
nine years, I had chances to Yeah, and you know,
catching me on my fats, it's all right, it's all right,
you know what.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
You're just showing that it's okay to be imperfect like
me and Celia, who are perfect.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I know she liked it finally after this one. Boy,
what a pill today? Huh, Nick, we'll talk about her
and how much we resent her, Like no, but I think,
like this is why I'm proud of myself as the
person right now who recently I just can't let anything go.
If I don't say something, then it's my fault and
(09:19):
I'm going to have a problem. So I was at
the restaurant the other day and I was a little
tweaked because they didn't bring water and I was super thirsty.
But it was like ten minutes, which is a long
time for water. And I'm there almost every week and
I was like, I'm at the point of like, do
(09:39):
I have to bring a bottle of water in myself
for like an emergency? Okay, that I shouldn't have to
bring restaurant water into a restaurant, right, So I said, hey, uh,
because we're at a table that's kind of remote, and
I go, can I just gets water? I lie all
the time. I go, I have to take a pill
real quick. And they're like okay. So I get the
(10:00):
water and then the waitress comes. She goes, I'm sorry,
like this table, we forgot you were here. And I go,
it's never you, guys, it's management. I go, they should
have told you we were here. I go, don't worry.
I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong.
But if I don't say something, then I'm gonna feel like,
oh my god, this is going to build. I'm never
gonna want to go to this place again. So then
(10:21):
this other waiter comes up and he goes, oh, we're
so sorry we ignored you guys. I go, no, no,
it's not your fault. It's definitely management. And he goes, yeah,
don't they know you're a VIP. And I couldn't let
it go and I go, No, that's the point I'm not.
I go because I find it difficult to say something
because you might think I want special treatment because of
(10:43):
my name. I don't. So if I don't say those
things out loud to him, I'm gonna then resent that
he thinks I think who the fuck I am? When
you know deep down I'm never like that. So I
think I'm just so conscious of not letting anything go
right now, and I think it's better that way. I mean,
I remember screaming you in the car. This is my favorite.
We still laugh about this so much, me and our
(11:04):
friend Jude Ginsburg. We left so hard, like a year ago.
We're on our way home from his one man show,
his solo show, and we're in the car and I
was so fucking mad at you because you are one
of those people and this is not now but before
(11:26):
they tell you what you want to hear for a while.
So when I brought up to you about doing the podcast,
I was like, okay, so do you want to do
like sidekick whatever blah blah blah, like when can do?
And you go anytime, and I'm like suddenly, it's like
I it actually happens. And then you're like, yeah, I
could do it Thursday from twelve to three. I'm like,
(11:48):
what the fuck happened to any time? What the fuck?
And I'm in the car and I'm just gotta get
it out, and so I'm like, I have to yell
at him right now. I have to fucking scream at him.
And I was like, what happened to anytime? You dope,
be cocksucker? Because you wanted it. You wanted to do it,
and so you instead of being like and I get back,
(12:10):
then like you were not like as open as now.
So you probably were in fear that, oh gosh, if
I say I only have three hours a week, then
I'll totally not get this thing. So it was probably
out of scarcity or fear or whatever. But the what
it comes across as like, well, I want this thing,
and I'm gonna lie to get it, you know, like
(12:31):
and again, fucking iHeart too, Celia. You can listen to
this shit suddenly with iHeart. Oh, we're gonna release it
every other week now it's every weekend. I gotta come
here and we're going to a day and oh, I Nick,
you're no better and they're no better anytime? Okay, Oh
the contracts are coming up. Oh so we could record when? Oh, anytime?
(12:54):
I'm also Saturday? Well no, not Saturday, Sunday. Well how
about in the morning when you can't do because Elvis,
you mother's counting me? When the fuck is the any time?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
And no?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
But see it's the any time. And then that builds
a resentment. So it's not saying they're wrong, it's not
saying you were wrong. I get where it comes from.
But then it's my job to go, oh shit, I'm
really resentful that I'm not getting what I want, and
let me just say something about it. So after I
yelled at you about it, then we had like actual
(13:31):
talk about it. It was like, okay, so I think
it's just noticing it before you get to the yelling stage.
Although I'm clearly still holding resentment for Celia and the
iHeart Radio family.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I mean, do you resent me if I put these
back on down? But what he said I can't see.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I'm yeah exactly. So what the problem is we gotta
notice it, get the fricking thing addressed, and then try
to move on from it. How do you move on
to it before the person? So Okay, your grandmother's dead,
(14:15):
so you can work on the resentment and have a go. Sadly,
we can't kill our relatives or friends. You can, So
how do we do it in the moment? Can you
think of anything else you've resented? I'll tell you one
for my life. Why that you asked? I noticed recently
(14:36):
I am in friendship what you call a friendship initiator.
I'm the person who has tons of ideas and ask
people to do things all the time. Well, they say,
you treat teach people how to treat you. I notice
these dopey, cocksucker friends of mine don't bother thinking of nothing,
(14:57):
but yet they always say yes. Does this indicate to you, Celia?
It indicates to you that I have great ideas and
my friends don't dislike me because they're saying yes. They're
not bored people. They just have gotten used to me
doing it, so then they don't have to do it.
(15:20):
So whose fault is this? Half mine, half theirs. That's
how I figure, because I'm I set this system up,
so I have to bring it up to them before
I resent it. Because I started noticing, Oh my god,
I resent now never being called and asked to do anything.
So I said it set these two down, and I said,
how are we going to fix this? I take half
(15:41):
the blame. How are we going to do this? And
we made a plan to like each take a month
and have a different idea and be like, oh, gay
about it. So we came up with a solution. But
I was noticing the resentment right here, and if you
see the good video, I'm pointing at my throat, which means,
how can I get this out and tell them?
Speaker 4 (16:02):
So?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Don't you think that was mature Celia? Yes, she does, Yes,
she does. No, Now do you do ago this resentment thing?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
This happened to me? Actually last week with my friend,
I had the same experience happened, where like I wasn't
getting what I needed really like I needed to kind
of be checked on and checked in on. But then
I was like that's not really fair either. How can
you expect someone to do that if you don't tell
them that like something's going on. So I ended up
(16:33):
calling my friend and just being like listen, like I
need you to be there for me, and like I
was mad at you that you weren't checking in on me,
but I didn't even tell you I've been mad at you.
And then we ended up talking for like two hours
and it was perfect.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Well, it almost seems like we expect them to be
mind readers, because there's that trope of like best friends
can read each other's minds and oh, like I knew
it before she did that that's what she needed. Well,
that's not like reality.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
I know you and you're not. Okay, yeah, it's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Oh my god, I'm not going to be.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Like you're acting different, like you know, what's what's going on?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Well, and also with you, it's hard to tell when
you're acting different because you're such a phony that no
one sure who the real Celia is. Correct, you suppose
you started getting a reseptment about like us making fun
of you. I'm not saying you do, but if you did,
like you're not, I don't. We're not like bosses or anything.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Yeah, but I still don't know what I would do.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, it's sad to me because I will love no, no,
I love when people come up and they say, hey, like,
you know, I don't want to talk about that subject.
If you could not talk about it, that'd be great
or whatever it is, because then I know it'll sting
a little. Yeah, But then you're like, well, at least
I know how to like act, you know, but there's
some people who are just gonna not have the bravery
(17:54):
to do it. Is that what it is? Is it
a fear?
Speaker 4 (17:58):
I think sometimes it's a fear or like a fear
of rejection almost, or like you don't want things to
change for me, like I didn't. I didn't want my friend,
for example, to think that I was being like a
needy friend and like different than normal, like annoying and
bother some.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
So you did weren't allowing your full range of emotions
because and full human experience, because everyone is needy once
in a while, everyone needs more at certain points in
their life than others. So it's like, oh, wow, Celia
just showed this humanity. And you know, as long as
it's a safe person who won't use it against you,
which sounds like it is, then it's okay. So you
(18:39):
have to really trust somebody though, I think to bring up, hey,
I'm starting to resent that I'm making all the plans
and how can we And also I think it's owning
part of it too, like the way you just own
that I had to own to these friends of mine
that I was like, yeah, I set up this system
where I have all the ideas, but now I notice
me going, oh I feel and it resent is really
(19:00):
just for me. I'm just kind of sad that you're
not reaching out.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Yeah, that's how I felt too. I was like sad,
like why are you not texting me? Like how are
you or something? Yeah, but like how can you expect
that if you don't communicate.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Right, because they might be I want to leave you alone.
I want to leave her alone. I called this there's
this kind of famous Ish podcaster that I was on
his show maybe seven years ago. I was just thinking
about him because I love him. He's so much fun,
and I called him an out of no like out
of nowhere, like he why would he expect to hear
from me? We had the best longest talk and I
(19:33):
said to him he has two books coming out, and
I go, and remember, you can call me anytime, and
I'd love to be a first reader on your book
because what they'll do is they'll send it out to
a few friends for advice. And he was, really, you
would do that. I'm like, yeah, So I'm teaching him
that he's allowed to call and he going, don't be
the guy who goes, oh, she's too busy. She probably
doesn't want to talk to me. He goes, That's what
(19:53):
I would have instantly thought that, oh, why would she
want to hear from me? So just teaching people that
way is really good. But boy, the second I noticed
a resentment starting to build, now I got to say
something like the paying thing, Like there's this whole thing
about like does it really even out in the end
if you're always paying for somebody? Or what's that thing?
(20:16):
And when it could be a diet coke from a
McDonald a drink from Starbucks for three dollars that could
tip it and break the camel's back, It doesn't have
to be a huge amount. So I think a lot
of the problem is we let the little things tie
us down and wear sound till we explode. There's something
(20:37):
in between the noticing that'll let us not do the exploding.
Does that make sense, Nick?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Hell yeah, I like to explode.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
I'm gonna start because I told them in the car,
I go, you're in that kind of mood, You're just
gonna go to not listening and saying just some funny,
dirty thing.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I don't really answered truthfully now, so I don't resent
you freaking idiot.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
I forgot I made a joke.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I know you're such an idiot. Did we do an
episode on leave a tender moment alone? And of course
you never done? Thank you, Celia fact checker. Are you
going to start resenting her because she's a teacher's pet.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
She has a teachers pet. No, I think it's good
for her. She needs to be a teachers pot. Today,
I get it.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I said, do you have you ever underreacted to a
resentment and then had it sort of explode? You must have,
Like with dating and stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
That's all I've done, Like that's my thing, is just
holding on and being like I can deal with this,
I don't need whatever. I'm fine, And then.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
So it's white knuckling it. Do you think a lot
of it comes from just not wanting to be viewed
as a problem, Like I'm look at how much I
can handle.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Not wanting to bother people, not wanting to be a problem.
Not also just being afraid that if I do stick
up for myself, I'm going to be left I'm going
to get abandoned.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
So there's so much heaviness that comes from Yeah, like
all those repercussions that I'll just like hold it in
and it's just and then you explode on the wrong person.
Then you'll be like yelling at the guy in the
grocery store or in the post office, and it's like, oh,
that guy didn't deserve what I was holding in about
my girlfriend or my boyfriend or Celia.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, I would say, like, I don't explode on The
problem is that I think also too, and we've talked
about this. I hold it in because I am afraid
of exploding on that person. So then I take it
inward and then I put it all on.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Me and then how do you eventually, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
It works its way back out.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Right, So it's really just again the pushing down just
never really works.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Yeah, I try, but it's it always comes back.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Man. But I've always observed those people too, because now
that I'm the person who doesn't let anything go, so
nothing builds up and says it nice to say what
you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
So okay, if I said to that way or no,
I actually don't want VIP treatment. I just don't want
you to misunderstand me. If I had to let it go,
I'd be like, oh, no, this guy thinks that of me.
(23:22):
Fuck that guy. I'm not coming here anymore. Start googling
other restaurants in the area, and suddenly this place I
used to love now is the enemy, right since it
was just like diffused. And also then we don't turn
it on ourselves. We don't do the eating, we don't
do the drinking, we don't do all those behaviors that
make us just be angry with ourselves versus who we
(23:43):
should be getting a little tweaked at in the first place.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Right, Yeah, that's oh, that's a big problem for me.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, how are you working on that?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Just really focusing on speaking my truth in the moment
and not letting stuff go. At a moment a few
weeks ago where something happened and I was like, it
really bothered me, and I was about to get up
and just be like okay and like leave, and then
I stopped and talked to that person. I said, you
know what, actually yeah, and I told them and it
(24:17):
was received well and they go, okay, all right, I
understand that, and that was it, and I go.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Oh, wow, shouldn't do that.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yeah, I mean, even if it wasn't well received, it
doesn't matter. I still should be doing that.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, so it see when it's not received, well, that's
the challenge. But also there's the challenge of like I
told my therapist, how I was like, oh, I talked
to my friends about, you know, initiating more. We came
up with there's a really good plan. And it's so
cute because they both already text me with ideas and
she just goes and she's not negative, she's really positive.
She goes, yeah, and let's just make sure that that's
(24:54):
that behavior stays, that they keep that up. And I
was like, oh, like, she's right, like you really just
because somebody says I'll call you when I know to
check on you to see if you're feeling well, and
that could stop, you know, And then it's like, oh, gosh,
I remember we had that talk. How can we make
this work again? So I'm not resemful, And honestly, the
(25:17):
people who think you're needy or oh boy, she brings
everything up all the time, then those probably aren't the
right people to be besties with. They might be good acquaintances,
but they might not be the best of friends. Like
I recently, I met a woman at crapallu, And which
is this yoga and meditation place? I do neither of
(25:38):
those things. I just go there to hide and to
see various people doing activities that I don't want to do.
And I met a woman in a workshop. She was
really nice, doesn't live far from me, and she wanted
to have lunch, and I texted, Okay, let me know
what times that are good for you, and she goes, well,
weekdays are usually better because us. And this is the
(26:01):
single person, childless, single person's nightmare, because weekends are usually
family stuff. And then I saw a TikTok about being
the single friend on weekends who never gets asked to
do anything because everyone has family, friends or kids. I know,
not friends, family, or kids. And it's that thing of like, ooh,
(26:25):
I'm relegated to Wednesday at noon, I'm relegated to anything
before six o'clock on Friday. So I have to address that.
I guess we're newish friends, so obviously you'd never say
anything soon. But if it's a pattern where you're like, oh,
I can never do anything on a weekend with someone,
(26:46):
I'll probably have to bring that up. And if it
doesn't land right, and I say, well, that's kind of
my boundary. You say, Okay, we have different boundaries, and
that's fine, right, and then you either move on or
you go. Thursday at three when Celia's making us tape
the podcast is when we have to I have to
cancel the podcast because I'm absolutely going to lunch with
that person. Yeah, do you ever have that too, where
(27:08):
like you're kind of feel relegated by some people.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I mean, I'm the last single friend in my friend group.
So sure there's times where they all have kids and
now and now they're older, and they have a birthday
party every weekend.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Oh god, that damn kid's birthday.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
They got a birthday party every weekend. They got sports.
But like, luckily, like I'm a part of something, not
the birthday parties, but like yeah, when their kids have
birthday parties and they're not every kids, but when they're
when my friend's kids, I'm there sporting events, I'm there
most of the time. But like, yeah, they have their
own life and now they have they have their own
a different friend group. Now it's the parents of their
(27:45):
for other kids, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah, And honestly, who wants to really be involved with that?
Like That's also another thing where just because we want
to be asked doesn't mean we actually want to go
to the thing. Just the ask feels nice.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Yeah, yeah, and it's fine. Like I have my own
shit on the weekends too, I got shows or whatever
the fuck I'm doing. Like I'm not gonna be like, hey,
you want to get a babysitter and come hang out,
like I know.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That, but also you're a guy. Yeah, And I also
think that your age group is more inclusive that way.
My age group isn't as inclusive, so I think again,
so resentment doesn't come up, and it doesn't build, it's
just gonna have to be I notice. I think the
way to do it, honestly is I notice, like every
(28:30):
time we plan something that I kind of feel like
my neck hurts, and like to be honest about and
say I feel like kind of pushed aside to the weekend,
to the weekdays. Anything we can do about that, And
even if you can't do anything to change it, at
least it's out there. At least you've said it. So
(28:56):
I think the noticing, the not overreacting and just jump
and yelling and then discussing it, and then if they're
not supposed to be your friends or family. They're not
supposed to be. And sometimes grannies die and we're happy thrilled. Wow.
Well well no, I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Shut up.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
No one's listening to your granny bashing. Too bad, Jesus Christ.
That's a whole new podcast. Yeah, we'll take next week
on waiting for your relatives to die and how to
administer the lethal injection. I actually do I know someone
who's helped two people die out of the in a
(29:38):
different country because it's legal in the some countries. And
I said, give me that guy's number, give me that
injection now, so they could give it to Celia because
she needs to die. Wait, so let's just take She
just set us spout at a random big word youth
in Asia.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Do you put a dog down?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Also? I put human down? Honey, So get brighty because
you're going to be having to give me the shot. Okay,
all right, So let's so that before we take a break, Celia,
just be transparent and honest. No one's gonna get mad
at you or think less of you. Should we make
fun of you less?
Speaker 4 (30:18):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
No that are you sure I'm really trying to get
you beyond.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Me evil, So like, I can't tell.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Somebody that's not no, that's not a thing. I was
an insult comic for thirty years without any sort of
thick skin. I pretended to like it, but I didn't,
so trust me, I know the struggle. So like, do
you ever do do you ever go home and you're like, oh,
that one thing they said, like my skinny tits, that
hurt my feelings? Okay, you till we get say skinny tits.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I don't really know what that means.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I don't know it means, just that you're thinner now
and your tits look good. That's it. Okay, Okay, all right,
So I'm going to give you full permission. Because I'm
not your boss. You can always be like, hey man,
that was a little close to the bone. I would
really like.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
You to I probably won't ever do that.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Oh geez, all right, you know what, that's not my face? Okay?
Oh oh, so okay, so that's a good thing to
tell someone. Oh gosh, I find it hard to use
the words sometimes, but you'll notice I kind of pull
back or whatever.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Yeah, but I mean I've never experienced it here.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
So what I should do is wear sunglasses so I
don't notice that and just keep barreling through exactly, Okay, Nick,
can I have your sunglasses? Please take off those glasses
and n no, you don't. Okay, God, Nick? Who did
we hear from a number one?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Dear Lisa. I'm Kelly fifty eight. I live in Cincinnati,
and honestly I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Oh Kelly, I fucking get it.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
I've been the one taking care of everyone, my mom
my kids. I keep saying yes because That's what I've
always done, But I feel this quiet rage bubble up,
Like do I just walk around pissed for the next
twenty years? Or do I finally say enough? And how
do I start pulling back without everyone thinking you're the
world's worst person? Kelly.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's a lot of catastrophizing, isn't it world's worst person?
There's at least two worse people than Kelly, who says
she doesn't want to take care of her parents. There's Hitler,
he was pretty bad and Celia I know now there's
like she didn't turn red and get mad. So I
(32:36):
think we're okay, but Westly jumped to I'm the worst,
I'm the least valuable and also there's something in between.
If you notice quote rage bubbling up, Yeah, it's time
to say something. So you can't just stuff at the
rest of your life, Kelly, you gotta do something. First
of all, you elected to have those kids. I'm assuming
(32:58):
there's a guy in the mix a little maybe ask
that fucking sperm donor for a little help. I mean, what,
shouldn't it be half his responsibility or at least a third.
Or the guy who's you know, kicking her house doing nothing.
These guys who live off yet and yea quit their job.
(33:20):
That sound like something I've lived through. No, but I
think that's such a classic. It's called the sandwich generation
where you're taking care of parents and kids, and they say,
there's nothing harder to live through than that, because you
kind of feel like you're abandoning both. There's nothing better sometimes,
as Nick has showed us, than a dead grandma. So
(33:42):
either you kill your grandmother with through what method? Celia?
What's that called? I thought you were leaving the mic
on so I didn't have to wait. Why is she
typing during your showment? See about that? I'm going to
(34:02):
tell you right now, Look at me, Snapchat, look at me.
I would rather you concentrate on the show when we're
on the air and not look at emails. Is that?
What is that too much to ask? No, No, you're sure.
If it is, if you really urgently have to, you
can tell me.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
No.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I mean sometimes I have to, but like no, I can.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
I would really prefer if you were present. But if
it does impede your job with someone else who's more important, nobody's, No,
it is You're an idiot. If you think no one's
will enjoy on us, then he got really low self up.
But I enjoy your presence on the show and would
feel really good if you were fully invested and not
(34:42):
half in and half out like you clearly are. And
I'm just kidding. No, but yeah, it's good when you're
at present when you're on. But if again, if it's not,
if it's a thing where you have to do it,
I get it, and I'll deal with my sadness. Call
Andrew and say we need somebody else. No, I, well,
(35:05):
you go to this thing called LinkedIn, who are not
a sponsor, and you ask for typist. Okay that no,
I mean, okay, so we got that straightened out. But anyway,
so what I got distracted from Kelly's dumb letter. Well,
I have to say to Kelly, is you feel the
damn rage bubbling up? Say something before you either drown
(35:27):
all those kids like Susan Smith did, arguably a great
solution or youth and age eyes your fucking mother. I've
turned that into a nice noun, if you will. So
you gotta do something or somebody's dying. That's what I think.
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I think you got to look through life rose colored glass.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I'm telling you, you give me those glasses right now.
It's terrible. I have two useless codsuckers, and that's what
I'm going to write a LinkedIn like job posting less
useless cocksuckers needed, Less useless cocksuckers.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Second letter, Yeah no, I was just gonna say, real quick, Kelly,
just fucking tell them what's up to You don't want
to kill anybody?
Speaker 2 (36:12):
And well, because then you're in jail. Then you're in jail.
That's not good to be in jail, I know, all right?
Second letter?
Speaker 3 (36:26):
All right, let a number two. Dear Lisa, my wife, Wait,
you know.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
What's bothering me? Uh? And I don't want to build
a resentment towards that piece of paper. I print things
out at home on paper that I've already used, so
I can conserve and it can recycle. I recycle the
paper I print out one side of So Nick Ford
thing doesn't know this, and he's holding up a full
(36:52):
sheet of barrel jeans some gap because the minute I
saw that gap comer. So with cat's eye, if you will,
I said, my milkshake has brought many boys to my yard.
I am going to buy those barrel jeans from the gap.
So Nick, you're holding that up, and please hold it
(37:14):
down so no one sees my barrel Jean, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
All right, dear Lisa. My wife loves going out for
couples dinners with the same three couples. They all drink
like fish, three or four drinks apiece. The men talk
about golf the whole This is good.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
So this is definitely a white person. Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
My wife usually has one glass of wine. But I
don't drink or play golf. But I certainly pay the
bill at the end, and it's at least double what
we really should.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
I've never tried to itemize the bill, which I kind
of hate, but I've always left feeling taken advantage of
Do you think it makes more sense to tell my
wife I don't want to go out with them anymore
or propose itemizing the bill? Thanks Jared in Connecticut.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, of course, that you know is a classic question,
because you don't want to seem like the cheap bastardude itemize.
But also then it starts building up and you're like,
do I even want to see these people anymore? And
by the way, it sounds like they're shitheads. Anyway, If
there are a bunch of drunks who play golf and
you have nothing in common with them, why do you
have to go out with them? So like, how about
(38:21):
limit your time to people who count? But maybe his
clam wife wants to go out with them. That's the problem.
Don't get married is the message here, because you're then
stuck with their damn friends. Am I right? Or am
I wrong? Nick? You're right?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Ah, there's no plans for me anytime soon, So I'm ready.
I'm out there. Sabrina, does she come to this? Does
she come to.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
She would not like you, she's coming here.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
She would love me like you, but she would have fun.
We would have so much fun. Oh my god, she
wrote that song man shot not a manchild baby.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
But I'm not the fucking ye have the haircut of
a baby's ass.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
If I could take care of it, everyone's dead in
my family. I've taken care of myself. Oh you have,
I have. Oh just eats a tough one.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
But that is a tough one. What's your opinion on
should what should he do? I say first choice. If
you have a decent wife, you say, I don't want
to go out with these people anymore. You go out
with your clam friends. If he can't do that, and
she's going to be a jew who pushes back, and
the reason I put jew in there, my friends know.
(39:31):
If she's going to be a person who pushes know,
I really like my couple of friends. It's like so
much fun to talk about golf. And if she's not
going to go for that, then say, workshop me on
how to do this bill better? Or is it a
possibility to just let it go completely and just be like, Okay,
I'm just once a week getting raped a little for
(39:51):
the bill.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Yeah, I mean that's yeah. I don't know how often
it's happening. That's the thing too, Like if it's once
a month whatever, like, it's not the end of the world.
I guess if like all your friends or your kids
are friends and these are the people you like, sure,
once a month, but maybe maybe you skip.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
A few, I think, yeah, let them miss ship dinners
so that it doesn't just build and build and build.
But I also think it's not The issue is never
the money. I think what the issue is. So if
you said to me, Lisa, because I used to pay
all the time, no matter what, because I heard Chelsea
(40:29):
Handler once on a show say, the person who makes
the most money should always just be like fuck it, pay,
especially if you have a pro public profile. So for
a while, it was just pay and pay and pay
and pan. And I didn't resent it at all because
I was like, hey, it's family, it's friends. Who cares.
No one took advantage at all, I guarantee it. But
then I retired and I started going am I trying
(40:52):
to buy my worth with treating people all the time.
So I started being really deliberate about, Okay, we split
the bill. We split the bill, always split the bill.
So it's not really about the bill. What it's about
is the underlying issue. The underlying issue for him for
me might be quote getting taken advantage of What does
(41:13):
that have to do with today? It has to do
with apply I You're gonna have to edit this a little.
My issue is the core issue is being taken advantage of.
That doesn't come from that dinner with the dopey golf
asshole white people in Weston, Connecticut. It comes from childhood
being taken advantage of being overlooked, being not as important.
(41:37):
So if he works on the those deep issues, I
think then the money, the food, the dinner, it doesn't
even like chart as important, right, So if I'm I'm
resolving my underlying issue with it, then I'm not going
to be resentful about the stupid twenty extra dollars.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
It is, right, makes sense.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Fuck you, he's adding nothing. I cannot wait for more guests, hosts,
you know what I mean. I cannot wait because he's
just getting worse every week. And I'm fully saying it
out loud, so I don't have resentment. It's worse. And
is it just you feel very outlead because you have
(42:14):
nothing to add.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
I'm just a mess.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
We gotta have a fixing Nick episode.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
I'm still waiting for mine.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
You're fixing oh.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
You really remembered that, because I do know I haven't
written down, but I was always we have. A part
of me was like afraid to bring up the Fixing
Celia podcast because I was like, oh, maybe she doesn't
think she's broken.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
I'm waiting for mine.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Okay, impatiently, Okay, next next recording session, Okay, well put
write it the fuck down, Jesus Christ. So you've been
secretly caring, resent, man, you've secretly been hard. It comes
out passive aggressive. I've been waiting for mine. So instead
of bringing it up, I'm going to answer emails during
(43:02):
the show. What my no? How about like this, Let's
pretend you're me? Okay, so look like you have some esteem?
So yeah, like that, Okay, suppose it's like this Hayley's
Do you remember a couple of months ago. I don't
(43:22):
know if you're joking or not to do like a
Fixing Celia episode? Do you remember that?
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Like, honestly, I think it'd be really fun. Is that
something you think we could do?
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Okay, next week okay, Okay, Like, isn't that easier than
you sitting there holding it into your skinny tits?
Speaker 4 (43:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Okay, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
See and I shall have our own podcast called Skinny.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Tits, Fat Tits, and Skinny Tits.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
Right there, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Wait back to the idiot in Connecticut. What's his name again?
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Arthur?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Arthur? Arthur? Listen. All I have to say to you
is work on your underlying self hate. Work on the
issue of being pushed aside and taken advantage of.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
It.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Probably started with your second grade teacher or something, or
your mom or your dad. Work on that, and then
I don't think the money will be a problem. You
will happily split the check and not look like an
itemizing jerk off.
Speaker 3 (44:33):
Next question, Next question number three. Here, Dear Lisa, I
am a single woman in my early forties. Me too.
My best friend for twenty years used to text me
daily and hang out on the weekends. Then she got married,
had kids, and everything changed to say she wants nothing
to do with me anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
As an understatement, Wow, wow, geez, I thought my friends
were shit.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Yeah, God, I realized I'm not in her married slash
parent world, but I resent the fact that she totally
dished me. I don't expect anything to change, but I
do miss my former best friend. Form broke up.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Wow, they hate each other.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
It's crazy. Should I put myself out and offer to
visit her kids and those things?
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yeah yeah, that would build up to it. Go ahead,
yeah yeah?
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Or move on and say it was nice, well ascid,
thanks Sarah and Sacramento.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
There's like so many other options. Then Should I become
the unpaid babysitter or should I just move on? I
don't blame her. She's hurt, dude. Imagine you know you
got this best stay and you.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Like, I just don't trust her.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
What the reader, the writer or the other one. I
don't trust the other count.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
To say, like hold on to say she wants nothing
to do with me anymore? As an understatement, it's a
little dramatic.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Oh god, because you're so drama free, like, but what's
worse than that?
Speaker 3 (46:02):
But what's what I want to need to know is
that this scenario where her friend went, I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
See you anymore.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
I don't know right, or she just busy.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
With her Let's assume I think she might be overreacting,
meaning I think that to say she wants nothing to
do with me, I mean I could have said the
same thing about my friends who didn't initiate ideas. I
could have been like, oh, why do I have to
tump all the ideas? They obviously hate me, because you
can find any reinforcement for a negative belief. So if
I'm out looking for evidence that my friends hate me,
(46:32):
I will find it. That's what Brene Brown calls like
the thing that you just that. It's a confirmation bias
where you just go and I'm looking for evidence that
you don't like me. So I could have said, well,
I have evidence those two don't like me because they
never reach out. Yeah that's it. Instead it's like, okay,
assume the best. I assume the best. They actually like
(46:52):
me because they say, yes, let's have a talk. So
she sounds like she's assuming the way worse, she almost
wants evidence that the friend and her are done. If
she actually is, take that sentence out and she's actually
interested in maintaining the friendship. No, don't call and say
I want to hang out with your kids. No one's
buying that you'll end up talking to the kids. Like
(47:14):
there was this great episode of Downton Abbey where like
one of the like is half one of the little
kids is half Irish. So that's horrible in England. I
guess at the time, I don't know they're both white.
I thought that was decent. And she goes to the
nanny behind everybody's back, was going a little half breed,
you don't belong at the abbey, devil, and it was
(47:38):
overheard by her ladyship and she had a fire than nanny.
And she didn't even let her wait till the morning train.
She said, you get out now. I'm just like, pause, no,
but like that was true. It's a big deal when
(47:58):
you kick somebody out in the middle of the night,
you know. So what I'm trying to say is this
girl's gonna be like that Irish dunk that that that
that English. It's not being nanny. And she'll go in
and she'll say, what's this, Lady's what's this? Cun what's this?
What's her friend? So Sarah's gonna walks in to her
friend in what city the Sacramento, the capital of California,
(48:22):
and go oh, I'll watch the kids. And then her
friend is gonna hear as she turns the lock coming
in the door, she'll say to him, you listen, have
rid you got no business being my best friends?
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Keep up, man off with you and then the walks in.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
Yeah, and then they go whoops. So I think they're no,
don't don't volunteerios. She's gonna end up like that, like
that nanny kun't taking the evening train, and there wasn't
even no evening train back in England at that time.
She sat in that station for a long time. So anyway,
all this to say, don't do that one. The other
(49:05):
one isn't should I didn't you give an option? Should
I just move on and know this is over and
don't do that? They're dramatic. You didn't check your facts.
You gotta check the facts. You gotta say, hey, clammy, friend,
let's meet for coffee at your convenience. Can we just
talk out? I don't feel like our friendship is where
(49:27):
I would love it to be. What can we do?
You know what it is? It's approaching it. I know
we've laughed a lot today, but one important point to
take home you approach the conversation with curiosity, not blame.
So I'm curious what's happened to our friendship. I'm curious
what I can do differently, what you can do different
how we could have a plan. And it feels like brainstorming,
(49:50):
and everybody loves brainstorming. It's fun to come up with solutions.
She's taking the easy way out by either becoming the
nanny calling the kid a half breed, or are doing
the thing where she just cuts off the frind. She's
taking the easy way out. She's probably a cut and runner.
Any Graham seven like Nick the truth.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
I mean, I to be honest that I'm thinking about it.
I had one friend where I felt we knew each
other for well, we're still our friends though, but there
was a moment in time where I was like, I
don't really hear from this guy anymore.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
M m.
Speaker 3 (50:24):
And then I just kind of was like we would
talk like once a year, but we would talk for
like an hour and a half. And I was like,
all right, well maybe that's just the category he's in now. Sure,
like we live in separate areas now, and like what
it okay? All good?
Speaker 4 (50:38):
Right?
Speaker 3 (50:39):
Like I had a moment like this where I was like, well,
and then of course it just is what it is,
man Like, it's just accepting and just knowing that, like
we're still really good friends. It's just like okay, it's
not going to be how.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
It was there's a certain grief and sadness that it's
not going to be like that forever. But it's also
like accepting where it is today and it's not valueless
to have the once a year friend. I have a
friend I talked to probably once every six months, but
she lives four hours away. Excuse me, time zone four
hours different. So like that is a person. You call
(51:13):
it three in the morning, Like that's awesome to have
somebody like that, just in case, well, somebody dies. Suppose
I don't know, I get kicked out when I'm nanny
for the kids and there's no train, Like say, I'm
in old ye oldie England and I have to I
have no train. I'm gonna call Kelly in Vancouver invent
you know what I mean, because she's four hours earlier
(51:36):
than me. That's all I'm saying is have the discussion
and then if it is where okay, maybe we can
have coffee every three months and this she can get
a babysitter or whatever. You go, Okay, well it's the
new normal. It's sad, but I can at least accept
something like that and don't be a victim. Stop being
a victim. It's a big one. Yeah, do you get
(51:59):
in victim ode, don't you?
Speaker 4 (52:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I have, yeah for sure? Yeah, Like, oh, they're screwing me, yeah, yeah.
Nobody's thinking about us enough to screw us. Everybody's just
thinking about themselves. Like I have friend Bonnie, who is
probably one of the busiest people I know because she
has two kids, ones at West Point, which a total
mind fucked when they first leave, because you're scared. They
(52:23):
have to learn how to shoot and jump down to
helicopters and crazy stuff that we as college students would
never have even thought of, so our moms didn't have
that torture. Then she's got a husband, she has an
aging mother who's a handful And it's like, I'm never
gonna take it personally if Bonnie doesn't call me every week,
you know what I mean, because I know she's thinking
about So it's it's saying that their circumstances are Okay.
(52:46):
Do I wish she could, at the drop of a
hat do everything. I say, yes, right, But just because
I wish it doesn't mean it's the right thing. And
I grow more by accepting people how they are.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
That's what I've done with my friends. And there's there's
moments like one of my friends I've talked about the
podcast before, like anthey, like he's busy as all hell,
but he checks in yeah, like he's you got two kids,
you're running a business, you got all this stuff. Like
it's fine. There's moments like damn, I wish we could
like hang out more, right, but like we're thirty seven though,
(53:16):
he's got a lot of shit going on.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
You know what the good thing is though, like, because
you're the same age, ish, if you live long enough,
which you will once you slim a little bit, once
you stop that fat around your heart, if you will
end up where his kids go off to college or
they're living on their own, and it will be the
(53:40):
hangouts of old do you know what I mean? Like
I love these ages. It does. It's kind of cool
because then you're like, oh my god, like we can
hang out more. So I think it's that hanging in
through the really hard times but talking about it and
going I wish it was like that. I but I
know it can't be, you know, or are you just
like Anna go far b our Friendship experts said, get
(54:02):
new friends, you cycle through friends every seven years. Did
you know I'm reading a book. I know that's shocking.
Do you know ourselves change every seven years? So seven
years ago I had completely different cells. Why couldn't they
come back as more attractive? Is what I want to say.
But that's another thing self hate aside. We'll do that
with the Celly episode, which we probably are saying we're
(54:24):
going to do next week, but not do it, and
she'll resent it and it'll be great. But like if
we cycle through that body every seven years, we're going
to cycle through relationships and things are going to change.
So people learn from us. Have the talk. Notice it
in your body. Have the talk, and then at least
you can either let it go or you can have
(54:44):
a new normal. Correct me where I'm wrong, Nick, and
say what you should say. There's nowhere you're wrong. I
oh my, put your glasses on so we could say
a proper goodbye, my god, Celia. Thank you for being
you and for really not giving me a red face,
(55:06):
resentful look even once this episode. I'm gonna count that
as a win. Yes, and thank you for not reading emails.
I even noticed your computers with tilted down, like she's
not tempted to be on her grinder, tinder or whatever,
she's looking at a man. Nick, tell everybody once again
where they can find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (55:28):
Can find me at Nick Scopes on Instagram or tiktoks.
You can find her at least Lampanelli on Instagram or tiktoks.
If you want to reach out.
Speaker 2 (55:37):
To us, Okay, that was angry?
Speaker 3 (55:41):
Do you want to email us at shrink this Show
at gmail dot com that has Shrinkthshow at gmail dot com.
Please listen to us I in your iHeartRadio app or
wherever the hell you get your podcasts, and we won't
resent you if you don't use the iHeartRadio, I will, okay, but.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
I'm gonna say it out loud so the resentment won't
be you know, because all I need is these Ihearts
to come after me and be like, oh not only now,
We're going to give you forty five minutes a studio,
time of week, any time,
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, You're the problems. Come on, come down,
go clamb take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
(00:37):
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You the
podcast no one's listening to. No one's talking about and
I could gam to Creps. But yet secret room hiding
the sadness with me is Nick's gooble eddie who is
(01:00):
wearing sunglasses that will immediately be told by me to
take them off, and I'll tell you why. No, he's
such an idiot, Celia, shut up. When we're driving today,
I said, what is with those glasses? And he said
his female friend had them and he thought they looked good,
so he bought them. Also, he's wearing her bra because
(01:23):
his tits are huge and it looks good on her.
Please take off your glasses only because no, I'll tell
you it leads into our topic for today. By the way,
Strength this Show with Lisa Lampanelli. Please send us your
email if you need advice, if you're so desperate that
you can't afford therapy, you don't want to afford therapy,
or you just don't want to really go that deep.
(01:45):
Send us your questions at shrink this Show at gmail
dot com. Celia will then weed out the ones that
are negative and awful and give me the easy ones
to answer. Is that true, Celia is your microphone on, Hi, Celia,
she's here. Put this today. Our topic is resentments. And
(02:07):
see here's the deal. In the old days, when I
was a quiet young glass, if someone showed up with
sunglasses on, that's one of my bugaboos. I ever liked
it because I couldn't see their eyes and I communicate
a lot through the eyes, you know, And I would
pulled it in. I'd be like, oh my gosh, is
it my place to say take off your e f
(02:29):
and glasses. I can't see your eyes. So I would
build a resentment and then I would never hang out
with them again. So that's why I think it's important
that I told you once I had a female friend
no I'll tell you this is not going to be popular.
This opinion I'm going to give you. She had a
very heavy Japanese accent. Her name was Umi. Well, every
(02:53):
time we hung out together, I get a headache because
I'd strain and I'd know when you're pooping. That's how
much I was straining to understand the accent. So I
have a headache and I disappeared. I should have instead
bought her a language course and how to speak like
an English That's what I should have done. But the
(03:13):
resentment will grow. And while I understand people have certain
limits and things, I have to accept. The more that
we can bring up when we're becoming resentful, the better.
Is that not true? Nick? Why let it faster? Is
my question?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
You can't let it faster, dude? Then you turn into me.
You're a thirty seven year old man wearing sunglasses and
a Saba Carpenter T shirt.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
And who's misshapen?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
And who's misshapen right now? Just from sheer depression?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Do you think resentments help? I think you ever notice
the thinner people are the less resentments they have? No
do you ever notice that if you get it out
of your chair, if it gets it off your chest.
You're so much more unburdened. Absolutely, we're not eating our feeling.
We're not drinking our feelings. We're not shooting the smack.
(04:04):
We're not smoking the crack like Celia does. That's how
she lost the weight. By the way, it's the crack,
I know, and you know what it works? So who cares?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Fully love it for you? Yes? What is it? Oh?
They are a good combination platter.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
So I'm kidding, she's twenty three.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
You did it on your own, I mean, and even
if she didn't, who cares.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Let me see you. I can't really see you.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I really want to try them on you.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Listen, you're barely holding it together without let me say cut.
She do look cute? You can leave them on the
whole show. Oh yeah, they look really cute all right.
So oh, by the way, just a quick show note.
If you're seeing a different type of video than you
usually do, you may or may not, it's because there
was a video problem in the studio. So if we're
(04:57):
looking a little different from the angles, then that's what
it's about. I'm about true transparency.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
The iPhone camera ads about thirty thirty five.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Pounds not to me because I'm slightly right right yet,
So Nick, I know we've talked in the past about
resentments you brought up when you had to drive old
Granny around. Now old Granny And for those of you
who didn't hear episode whatever, where Nick was complaining about
driving old Granny around. Old Granny's dead, so we're allowed
(05:29):
to talk about her.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
And she died in the car.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Accent ironically enough, when you were.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Not driving her in the end.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yes, So when do you think the resentment started to
build about being the go to for the caretaking of someone?
Speaker 3 (05:46):
I think, Man, I mean, it wasn't even I definitely
was annoyed, all right. So let's let's preface it this way.
Every holiday I always had to like go pick her up,
right and bring her places I live. For those who don't,
I live in Connecticut, right, she lives it. I live
in like southern Connecticut, Fairfield County. She lived in New
Michelle in Westchester, so I would have to drive down
(06:08):
from Connecticut pick her up a New Mischelle. Then we
would have to go battle traffic all the way to
upstate past Albany every year, right, And I used to
hate it because one year I suggested that she just
comes up to me an hour and then we could
drive the rest of the way. Traffic freaks. Every year,
the traffic would piss her off and blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Right, but I remember the story. So my question is,
when how many years had you done this before you
started to notice that it was really bothering you? Or
was it immediate? Was it the first time?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I think it started to bother me when she would
complain to her sisters about it, and then her aunt
my great aunts would call me. That's when it was
probably a few years in so it was like you
were like, hey, this is I'd be like I was,
you know, I went from all the time driving her
to like now I'm like twenty seven. I'd be like,
heyqu we like, let's switch it up this year. Let's
and I would get calls why don't you just pick
her up? She's your grandmother, Why are you doing this?
(07:09):
Like I'm not doing it. I'm just trying to avoid traffic,
and that's it. So it took. It took a few years,
and that's what caused the resentment of like, like why
is this a fucking why is this such a fucking
big deal.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Well did it start? Because I think when I've been
processing resentment recently, I'll notice it first, like in the body.
So you notice it in the neck, You notice it
in your gut, you notice it in your heart or
in your A lot of people notice it in their
throat because I can't say what they want. So did
you notice that it manifests itself anywhere? Because if we don't,
(07:42):
if we don't feel something, we can't react to it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
For most of my stuff, it's always lower back stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh really yeah, do you have a previous injury there?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
I do. It's so I don't know for sure. I've
just it's always been a point of contention for me.
Like I I don't know if I ever herniated a disc.
I don't really know. I've just kind of rehabbed it
and been back and helped, you know, figured it out
and done exercises and whatever. But there were I think
it's more emotional than anything like after to be honest,
(08:14):
after she died, my back for a year was just
like I mean sometimes walking hurt. Wow, Like it was
really like it was immediate almost like I remember burying
her on a Friday in the funeral and the whole
week leading up to it, and then Monday, I was like,
I'm gonna work out today, and like, within ten minutes
of working out, I hurt myself.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
So we could still blame Granny for everything bad in
your life because she's the reason you're fat.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Exactly. Yes, it was just so long ago, like eight
nine years, I had chances to Yeah, and you know,
catching me on my fats, it's all right, it's all right,
you know what.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
You're just showing that it's okay to be imperfect like
me and Celia, who are perfect.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I know she liked it finally after this one. Boy,
what a pill today? Huh, Nick, we'll talk about her
and how much we resent her, Like no, but I think,
like this is why I'm proud of myself as the
person right now who recently I just can't let anything go.
If I don't say something, then it's my fault and
(09:19):
I'm going to have a problem. So I was at
the restaurant the other day and I was a little
tweaked because they didn't bring water and I was super thirsty.
But it was like ten minutes, which is a long
time for water. And I'm there almost every week and
I was like, I'm at the point of like, do
(09:39):
I have to bring a bottle of water in myself
for like an emergency? Okay, that I shouldn't have to
bring restaurant water into a restaurant, right, So I said, hey, uh,
because we're at a table that's kind of remote, and
I go, can I just gets water? I lie all
the time. I go, I have to take a pill
real quick. And they're like okay. So I get the
(10:00):
water and then the waitress comes. She goes, I'm sorry,
like this table, we forgot you were here. And I go,
it's never you, guys, it's management. I go, they should
have told you we were here. I go, don't worry.
I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong.
But if I don't say something, then I'm gonna feel like,
oh my god, this is going to build. I'm never
gonna want to go to this place again. So then
(10:21):
this other waiter comes up and he goes, oh, we're
so sorry we ignored you guys. I go, no, no,
it's not your fault. It's definitely management. And he goes, yeah,
don't they know you're a VIP. And I couldn't let
it go and I go, No, that's the point I'm not.
I go because I find it difficult to say something
because you might think I want special treatment because of
(10:43):
my name. I don't. So if I don't say those
things out loud to him, I'm gonna then resent that
he thinks I think who the fuck I am? When
you know deep down I'm never like that. So I
think I'm just so conscious of not letting anything go
right now, and I think it's better that way. I mean,
I remember screaming you in the car. This is my favorite.
We still laugh about this so much, me and our
(11:04):
friend Jude Ginsburg. We left so hard, like a year ago.
We're on our way home from his one man show,
his solo show, and we're in the car and I
was so fucking mad at you because you are one
of those people and this is not now but before
(11:26):
they tell you what you want to hear for a while.
So when I brought up to you about doing the podcast,
I was like, okay, so do you want to do
like sidekick whatever blah blah blah, like when can do?
And you go anytime, and I'm like suddenly, it's like
I it actually happens. And then you're like, yeah, I
could do it Thursday from twelve to three. I'm like,
(11:48):
what the fuck happened to any time? What the fuck?
And I'm in the car and I'm just gotta get
it out, and so I'm like, I have to yell
at him right now. I have to fucking scream at him.
And I was like, what happened to anytime? You dope,
be cocksucker? Because you wanted it. You wanted to do it,
and so you instead of being like and I get back,
(12:10):
then like you were not like as open as now.
So you probably were in fear that, oh gosh, if
I say I only have three hours a week, then
I'll totally not get this thing. So it was probably
out of scarcity or fear or whatever. But the what
it comes across as like, well, I want this thing,
and I'm gonna lie to get it, you know, like
(12:31):
and again, fucking iHeart too, Celia. You can listen to
this shit suddenly with iHeart. Oh, we're gonna release it
every other week now it's every weekend. I gotta come
here and we're going to a day and oh, I Nick,
you're no better and they're no better anytime? Okay, Oh
the contracts are coming up. Oh so we could record when? Oh, anytime?
(12:54):
I'm also Saturday? Well no, not Saturday, Sunday. Well how
about in the morning when you can't do because Elvis,
you mother's counting me? When the fuck is the any time?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
And no?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
But see it's the any time. And then that builds
a resentment. So it's not saying they're wrong, it's not
saying you were wrong. I get where it comes from.
But then it's my job to go, oh shit, I'm
really resentful that I'm not getting what I want, and
let me just say something about it. So after I
yelled at you about it, then we had like actual
(13:31):
talk about it. It was like, okay, so I think
it's just noticing it before you get to the yelling stage.
Although I'm clearly still holding resentment for Celia and the
iHeart Radio family.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I mean, do you resent me if I put these
back on down? But what he said I can't see.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I'm yeah exactly. So what the problem is we gotta
notice it, get the fricking thing addressed, and then try
to move on from it. How do you move on
to it before the person? So Okay, your grandmother's dead,
(14:15):
so you can work on the resentment and have a go. Sadly,
we can't kill our relatives or friends. You can, So
how do we do it in the moment? Can you
think of anything else you've resented? I'll tell you one
for my life. Why that you asked? I noticed recently
(14:36):
I am in friendship what you call a friendship initiator.
I'm the person who has tons of ideas and ask
people to do things all the time. Well, they say,
you treat teach people how to treat you. I notice
these dopey, cocksucker friends of mine don't bother thinking of nothing,
(14:57):
but yet they always say yes. Does this indicate to you, Celia?
It indicates to you that I have great ideas and
my friends don't dislike me because they're saying yes. They're
not bored people. They just have gotten used to me
doing it, so then they don't have to do it.
(15:20):
So whose fault is this? Half mine, half theirs. That's
how I figure, because I'm I set this system up,
so I have to bring it up to them before
I resent it. Because I started noticing, Oh my god,
I resent now never being called and asked to do anything.
So I said it set these two down, and I said,
how are we going to fix this? I take half
(15:41):
the blame. How are we going to do this? And
we made a plan to like each take a month
and have a different idea and be like, oh, gay
about it. So we came up with a solution. But
I was noticing the resentment right here, and if you
see the good video, I'm pointing at my throat, which means,
how can I get this out and tell them?
Speaker 4 (16:02):
So?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Don't you think that was mature Celia? Yes, she does, Yes,
she does. No, Now do you do ago this resentment thing?
Speaker 4 (16:12):
This happened to me? Actually last week with my friend,
I had the same experience happened, where like I wasn't
getting what I needed really like I needed to kind
of be checked on and checked in on. But then
I was like that's not really fair either. How can
you expect someone to do that if you don't tell
them that like something's going on. So I ended up
(16:33):
calling my friend and just being like listen, like I
need you to be there for me, and like I
was mad at you that you weren't checking in on me,
but I didn't even tell you I've been mad at you.
And then we ended up talking for like two hours
and it was perfect.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Well, it almost seems like we expect them to be
mind readers, because there's that trope of like best friends
can read each other's minds and oh, like I knew
it before she did that that's what she needed. Well,
that's not like reality.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
I know you and you're not. Okay, yeah, it's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Oh my god, I'm not going to be.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Like you're acting different, like you know, what's what's going on?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Well, and also with you, it's hard to tell when
you're acting different because you're such a phony that no
one sure who the real Celia is. Correct, you suppose
you started getting a reseptment about like us making fun
of you. I'm not saying you do, but if you did,
like you're not, I don't. We're not like bosses or anything.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Yeah, but I still don't know what I would do.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, it's sad to me because I will love no, no,
I love when people come up and they say, hey, like,
you know, I don't want to talk about that subject.
If you could not talk about it, that'd be great
or whatever it is, because then I know it'll sting
a little. Yeah, But then you're like, well, at least
I know how to like act, you know, but there's
some people who are just gonna not have the bravery
(17:54):
to do it. Is that what it is? Is it
a fear?
Speaker 4 (17:58):
I think sometimes it's a fear or like a fear
of rejection almost, or like you don't want things to
change for me, like I didn't. I didn't want my friend,
for example, to think that I was being like a
needy friend and like different than normal, like annoying and
bother some.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
So you did weren't allowing your full range of emotions
because and full human experience, because everyone is needy once
in a while, everyone needs more at certain points in
their life than others. So it's like, oh, wow, Celia
just showed this humanity. And you know, as long as
it's a safe person who won't use it against you,
which sounds like it is, then it's okay. So you
(18:39):
have to really trust somebody though, I think to bring up, hey,
I'm starting to resent that I'm making all the plans
and how can we And also I think it's owning
part of it too, like the way you just own
that I had to own to these friends of mine
that I was like, yeah, I set up this system
where I have all the ideas, but now I notice
me going, oh I feel and it resent is really
(19:00):
just for me. I'm just kind of sad that you're
not reaching out.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Yeah, that's how I felt too. I was like sad,
like why are you not texting me? Like how are
you or something? Yeah, but like how can you expect
that if you don't communicate.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Right, because they might be I want to leave you alone.
I want to leave her alone. I called this there's
this kind of famous Ish podcaster that I was on
his show maybe seven years ago. I was just thinking
about him because I love him. He's so much fun,
and I called him an out of no like out
of nowhere, like he why would he expect to hear
from me? We had the best longest talk and I
(19:33):
said to him he has two books coming out, and
I go, and remember, you can call me anytime, and
I'd love to be a first reader on your book
because what they'll do is they'll send it out to
a few friends for advice. And he was, really, you
would do that. I'm like, yeah, So I'm teaching him
that he's allowed to call and he going, don't be
the guy who goes, oh, she's too busy. She probably
doesn't want to talk to me. He goes, That's what
(19:53):
I would have instantly thought that, oh, why would she
want to hear from me? So just teaching people that
way is really good. But boy, the second I noticed
a resentment starting to build, now I got to say
something like the paying thing, Like there's this whole thing
about like does it really even out in the end
if you're always paying for somebody? Or what's that thing?
(20:16):
And when it could be a diet coke from a
McDonald a drink from Starbucks for three dollars that could
tip it and break the camel's back, It doesn't have
to be a huge amount. So I think a lot
of the problem is we let the little things tie
us down and wear sound till we explode. There's something
(20:37):
in between the noticing that'll let us not do the exploding.
Does that make sense, Nick?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Hell yeah, I like to explode.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
I'm gonna start because I told them in the car,
I go, you're in that kind of mood, You're just
gonna go to not listening and saying just some funny,
dirty thing.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I don't really answered truthfully now, so I don't resent
you freaking idiot.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
I forgot I made a joke.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I know you're such an idiot. Did we do an
episode on leave a tender moment alone? And of course
you never done? Thank you, Celia fact checker. Are you
going to start resenting her because she's a teacher's pet.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
She has a teachers pet. No, I think it's good
for her. She needs to be a teachers pot. Today,
I get it.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I said, do you have you ever underreacted to a
resentment and then had it sort of explode? You must have,
Like with dating and stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
That's all I've done, Like that's my thing, is just
holding on and being like I can deal with this,
I don't need whatever. I'm fine, And then.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
So it's white knuckling it. Do you think a lot
of it comes from just not wanting to be viewed
as a problem, Like I'm look at how much I
can handle.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Not wanting to bother people, not wanting to be a problem.
Not also just being afraid that if I do stick
up for myself, I'm going to be left I'm going
to get abandoned.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
So there's so much heaviness that comes from Yeah, like
all those repercussions that I'll just like hold it in
and it's just and then you explode on the wrong person.
Then you'll be like yelling at the guy in the
grocery store or in the post office, and it's like, oh,
that guy didn't deserve what I was holding in about
my girlfriend or my boyfriend or Celia.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, I would say, like, I don't explode on The
problem is that I think also too, and we've talked
about this. I hold it in because I am afraid
of exploding on that person. So then I take it
inward and then I put it all on.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Me and then how do you eventually, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
It works its way back out.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Right, So it's really just again the pushing down just
never really works.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Yeah, I try, but it's it always comes back.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Man. But I've always observed those people too, because now
that I'm the person who doesn't let anything go, so
nothing builds up and says it nice to say what
you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
So okay, if I said to that way or no,
I actually don't want VIP treatment. I just don't want
you to misunderstand me. If I had to let it go,
I'd be like, oh, no, this guy thinks that of me.
(23:22):
Fuck that guy. I'm not coming here anymore. Start googling
other restaurants in the area, and suddenly this place I
used to love now is the enemy, right since it
was just like diffused. And also then we don't turn
it on ourselves. We don't do the eating, we don't
do the drinking, we don't do all those behaviors that
make us just be angry with ourselves versus who we
(23:43):
should be getting a little tweaked at in the first place.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Right, Yeah, that's oh, that's a big problem for me.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, how are you working on that?
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Just really focusing on speaking my truth in the moment
and not letting stuff go. At a moment a few
weeks ago where something happened and I was like, it
really bothered me, and I was about to get up
and just be like okay and like leave, and then
I stopped and talked to that person. I said, you
know what, actually yeah, and I told them and it
(24:17):
was received well and they go, okay, all right, I
understand that, and that was it, and I go.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Oh, wow, shouldn't do that.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yeah, I mean, even if it wasn't well received, it
doesn't matter. I still should be doing that.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, so it see when it's not received, well, that's
the challenge. But also there's the challenge of like I
told my therapist, how I was like, oh, I talked
to my friends about, you know, initiating more. We came
up with there's a really good plan. And it's so
cute because they both already text me with ideas and
she just goes and she's not negative, she's really positive.
She goes, yeah, and let's just make sure that that's
(24:54):
that behavior stays, that they keep that up. And I
was like, oh, like, she's right, like you really just
because somebody says I'll call you when I know to
check on you to see if you're feeling well, and
that could stop, you know, And then it's like, oh, gosh,
I remember we had that talk. How can we make
this work again? So I'm not resemful, And honestly, the
(25:17):
people who think you're needy or oh boy, she brings
everything up all the time, then those probably aren't the
right people to be besties with. They might be good acquaintances,
but they might not be the best of friends. Like
I recently, I met a woman at crapallu, And which
is this yoga and meditation place? I do neither of
(25:38):
those things. I just go there to hide and to
see various people doing activities that I don't want to do.
And I met a woman in a workshop. She was
really nice, doesn't live far from me, and she wanted
to have lunch, and I texted, Okay, let me know
what times that are good for you, and she goes, well,
weekdays are usually better because us. And this is the
(26:01):
single person, childless, single person's nightmare, because weekends are usually
family stuff. And then I saw a TikTok about being
the single friend on weekends who never gets asked to
do anything because everyone has family, friends or kids. I know,
not friends, family, or kids. And it's that thing of like, ooh,
(26:25):
I'm relegated to Wednesday at noon, I'm relegated to anything
before six o'clock on Friday. So I have to address that.
I guess we're newish friends, so obviously you'd never say
anything soon. But if it's a pattern where you're like, oh,
I can never do anything on a weekend with someone,
(26:46):
I'll probably have to bring that up. And if it
doesn't land right, and I say, well, that's kind of
my boundary. You say, Okay, we have different boundaries, and
that's fine, right, and then you either move on or
you go. Thursday at three when Celia's making us tape
the podcast is when we have to I have to
cancel the podcast because I'm absolutely going to lunch with
that person. Yeah, do you ever have that too, where
(27:08):
like you're kind of feel relegated by some people.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I mean, I'm the last single friend in my friend group.
So sure there's times where they all have kids and
now and now they're older, and they have a birthday
party every weekend.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Oh god, that damn kid's birthday.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
They got a birthday party every weekend. They got sports.
But like, luckily, like I'm a part of something, not
the birthday parties, but like yeah, when their kids have
birthday parties and they're not every kids, but when they're
when my friend's kids, I'm there sporting events, I'm there
most of the time. But like, yeah, they have their
own life and now they have they have their own
a different friend group. Now it's the parents of their
(27:45):
for other kids, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah, And honestly, who wants to really be involved with that?
Like That's also another thing where just because we want
to be asked doesn't mean we actually want to go
to the thing. Just the ask feels nice.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Yeah, yeah, and it's fine. Like I have my own
shit on the weekends too, I got shows or whatever
the fuck I'm doing. Like I'm not gonna be like, hey,
you want to get a babysitter and come hang out,
like I know.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That, but also you're a guy. Yeah, And I also
think that your age group is more inclusive that way.
My age group isn't as inclusive, so I think again,
so resentment doesn't come up, and it doesn't build, it's
just gonna have to be I notice. I think the
way to do it, honestly is I notice, like every
(28:30):
time we plan something that I kind of feel like
my neck hurts, and like to be honest about and
say I feel like kind of pushed aside to the weekend,
to the weekdays. Anything we can do about that, And
even if you can't do anything to change it, at
least it's out there. At least you've said it. So
(28:56):
I think the noticing, the not overreacting and just jump
and yelling and then discussing it, and then if they're
not supposed to be your friends or family. They're not
supposed to be. And sometimes grannies die and we're happy thrilled. Wow.
Well well no, I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Shut up.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
No one's listening to your granny bashing. Too bad, Jesus Christ.
That's a whole new podcast. Yeah, we'll take next week
on waiting for your relatives to die and how to
administer the lethal injection. I actually do I know someone
who's helped two people die out of the in a
(29:38):
different country because it's legal in the some countries. And
I said, give me that guy's number, give me that
injection now, so they could give it to Celia because
she needs to die. Wait, so let's just take She
just set us spout at a random big word youth
in Asia.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Do you put a dog down?
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Also? I put human down? Honey, So get brighty because
you're going to be having to give me the shot. Okay,
all right, So let's so that before we take a break, Celia,
just be transparent and honest. No one's gonna get mad
at you or think less of you. Should we make
fun of you less?
Speaker 4 (30:18):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
No that are you sure I'm really trying to get
you beyond.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Me evil, So like, I can't tell.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Somebody that's not no, that's not a thing. I was
an insult comic for thirty years without any sort of
thick skin. I pretended to like it, but I didn't,
so trust me, I know the struggle. So like, do
you ever do do you ever go home and you're like, oh,
that one thing they said, like my skinny tits, that
hurt my feelings? Okay, you till we get say skinny tits.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I don't really know what that means.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I don't know it means, just that you're thinner now
and your tits look good. That's it. Okay, Okay, all right,
So I'm going to give you full permission. Because I'm
not your boss. You can always be like, hey man,
that was a little close to the bone. I would
really like.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
You to I probably won't ever do that.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Oh geez, all right, you know what, that's not my face? Okay?
Oh oh, so okay, so that's a good thing to
tell someone. Oh gosh, I find it hard to use
the words sometimes, but you'll notice I kind of pull
back or whatever.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Yeah, but I mean I've never experienced it here.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
So what I should do is wear sunglasses so I
don't notice that and just keep barreling through exactly, Okay, Nick,
can I have your sunglasses? Please take off those glasses
and n no, you don't. Okay, God, Nick? Who did
we hear from a number one?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Dear Lisa. I'm Kelly fifty eight. I live in Cincinnati,
and honestly I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Oh Kelly, I fucking get it.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
I've been the one taking care of everyone, my mom
my kids. I keep saying yes because That's what I've
always done, But I feel this quiet rage bubble up,
Like do I just walk around pissed for the next
twenty years? Or do I finally say enough? And how
do I start pulling back without everyone thinking you're the
world's worst person? Kelly.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's a lot of catastrophizing, isn't it world's worst person?
There's at least two worse people than Kelly, who says
she doesn't want to take care of her parents. There's Hitler,
he was pretty bad and Celia I know now there's
like she didn't turn red and get mad. So I
(32:36):
think we're okay, but Westly jumped to I'm the worst,
I'm the least valuable and also there's something in between.
If you notice quote rage bubbling up, Yeah, it's time
to say something. So you can't just stuff at the
rest of your life, Kelly, you gotta do something. First
of all, you elected to have those kids. I'm assuming
(32:58):
there's a guy in the mix a little maybe ask
that fucking sperm donor for a little help. I mean, what,
shouldn't it be half his responsibility or at least a third.
Or the guy who's you know, kicking her house doing nothing.
These guys who live off yet and yea quit their job.
(33:20):
That sound like something I've lived through. No, but I
think that's such a classic. It's called the sandwich generation
where you're taking care of parents and kids, and they say,
there's nothing harder to live through than that, because you
kind of feel like you're abandoning both. There's nothing better sometimes,
as Nick has showed us, than a dead grandma. So
(33:42):
either you kill your grandmother with through what method? Celia?
What's that called? I thought you were leaving the mic
on so I didn't have to wait. Why is she
typing during your showment? See about that? I'm going to
(34:02):
tell you right now, Look at me, Snapchat, look at me.
I would rather you concentrate on the show when we're
on the air and not look at emails. Is that?
What is that too much to ask? No, No, you're sure.
If it is, if you really urgently have to, you
can tell me.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
No.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I mean sometimes I have to, but like no, I can.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
I would really prefer if you were present. But if
it does impede your job with someone else who's more important, nobody's, No,
it is You're an idiot. If you think no one's
will enjoy on us, then he got really low self up.
But I enjoy your presence on the show and would
feel really good if you were fully invested and not
(34:42):
half in and half out like you clearly are. And
I'm just kidding. No, but yeah, it's good when you're
at present when you're on. But if again, if it's not,
if it's a thing where you have to do it,
I get it, and I'll deal with my sadness. Call
Andrew and say we need somebody else. No, I, well,
(35:05):
you go to this thing called LinkedIn, who are not
a sponsor, and you ask for typist. Okay that no,
I mean, okay, so we got that straightened out. But anyway,
so what I got distracted from Kelly's dumb letter. Well,
I have to say to Kelly, is you feel the
damn rage bubbling up? Say something before you either drown
(35:27):
all those kids like Susan Smith did, arguably a great
solution or youth and age eyes your fucking mother. I've
turned that into a nice noun, if you will. So
you gotta do something or somebody's dying. That's what I think.
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I think you got to look through life rose colored glass.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I'm telling you, you give me those glasses right now.
It's terrible. I have two useless codsuckers, and that's what
I'm going to write a LinkedIn like job posting less
useless cocksuckers needed, Less useless cocksuckers.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Second letter, Yeah no, I was just gonna say, real quick, Kelly,
just fucking tell them what's up to You don't want
to kill anybody?
Speaker 2 (36:12):
And well, because then you're in jail. Then you're in jail.
That's not good to be in jail, I know, all right?
Second letter?
Speaker 3 (36:26):
All right, let a number two. Dear Lisa, my wife, Wait,
you know.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
What's bothering me? Uh? And I don't want to build
a resentment towards that piece of paper. I print things
out at home on paper that I've already used, so
I can conserve and it can recycle. I recycle the
paper I print out one side of So Nick Ford
thing doesn't know this, and he's holding up a full
(36:52):
sheet of barrel jeans some gap because the minute I
saw that gap comer. So with cat's eye, if you will,
I said, my milkshake has brought many boys to my yard.
I am going to buy those barrel jeans from the gap.
So Nick, you're holding that up, and please hold it
(37:14):
down so no one sees my barrel Jean, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
All right, dear Lisa. My wife loves going out for
couples dinners with the same three couples. They all drink
like fish, three or four drinks apiece. The men talk
about golf the whole This is good.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
So this is definitely a white person. Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
My wife usually has one glass of wine. But I
don't drink or play golf. But I certainly pay the
bill at the end, and it's at least double what
we really should.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
I've never tried to itemize the bill, which I kind
of hate, but I've always left feeling taken advantage of
Do you think it makes more sense to tell my
wife I don't want to go out with them anymore
or propose itemizing the bill? Thanks Jared in Connecticut.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, of course, that you know is a classic question,
because you don't want to seem like the cheap bastardude itemize.
But also then it starts building up and you're like,
do I even want to see these people anymore? And
by the way, it sounds like they're shitheads. Anyway, If
there are a bunch of drunks who play golf and
you have nothing in common with them, why do you
have to go out with them? So like, how about
(38:21):
limit your time to people who count? But maybe his
clam wife wants to go out with them. That's the problem.
Don't get married is the message here, because you're then
stuck with their damn friends. Am I right? Or am
I wrong? Nick? You're right?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Ah, there's no plans for me anytime soon, So I'm ready.
I'm out there. Sabrina, does she come to this? Does
she come to.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
She would not like you, she's coming here.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
She would love me like you, but she would have fun.
We would have so much fun. Oh my god, she
wrote that song man shot not a manchild baby.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
But I'm not the fucking ye have the haircut of
a baby's ass.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
If I could take care of it, everyone's dead in
my family. I've taken care of myself. Oh you have,
I have. Oh just eats a tough one.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
But that is a tough one. What's your opinion on
should what should he do? I say first choice. If
you have a decent wife, you say, I don't want
to go out with these people anymore. You go out
with your clam friends. If he can't do that, and
she's going to be a jew who pushes back, and
the reason I put jew in there, my friends know.
(39:31):
If she's going to be a person who pushes know,
I really like my couple of friends. It's like so
much fun to talk about golf. And if she's not
going to go for that, then say, workshop me on
how to do this bill better? Or is it a
possibility to just let it go completely and just be like, Okay,
I'm just once a week getting raped a little for
(39:51):
the bill.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Yeah, I mean that's yeah. I don't know how often
it's happening. That's the thing too, Like if it's once
a month whatever, like, it's not the end of the world.
I guess if like all your friends or your kids
are friends and these are the people you like, sure,
once a month, but maybe maybe you skip.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
A few, I think, yeah, let them miss ship dinners
so that it doesn't just build and build and build.
But I also think it's not The issue is never
the money. I think what the issue is. So if
you said to me, Lisa, because I used to pay
all the time, no matter what, because I heard Chelsea
(40:29):
Handler once on a show say, the person who makes
the most money should always just be like fuck it, pay,
especially if you have a pro public profile. So for
a while, it was just pay and pay and pay
and pan. And I didn't resent it at all because
I was like, hey, it's family, it's friends. Who cares.
No one took advantage at all, I guarantee it. But
then I retired and I started going am I trying
(40:52):
to buy my worth with treating people all the time.
So I started being really deliberate about, Okay, we split
the bill. We split the bill, always split the bill.
So it's not really about the bill. What it's about
is the underlying issue. The underlying issue for him for
me might be quote getting taken advantage of What does
(41:13):
that have to do with today? It has to do
with apply I You're gonna have to edit this a little.
My issue is the core issue is being taken advantage of.
That doesn't come from that dinner with the dopey golf
asshole white people in Weston, Connecticut. It comes from childhood
being taken advantage of being overlooked, being not as important.
(41:37):
So if he works on the those deep issues, I
think then the money, the food, the dinner, it doesn't
even like chart as important, right, So if I'm I'm
resolving my underlying issue with it, then I'm not going
to be resentful about the stupid twenty extra dollars.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
It is, right, makes sense.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Fuck you, he's adding nothing. I cannot wait for more guests, hosts,
you know what I mean. I cannot wait because he's
just getting worse every week. And I'm fully saying it
out loud, so I don't have resentment. It's worse. And
is it just you feel very outlead because you have
(42:14):
nothing to add.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
I'm just a mess.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
We gotta have a fixing Nick episode.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
I'm still waiting for mine.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
You're fixing oh.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
You really remembered that, because I do know I haven't
written down, but I was always we have. A part
of me was like afraid to bring up the Fixing
Celia podcast because I was like, oh, maybe she doesn't
think she's broken.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
I'm waiting for mine.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Okay, impatiently, Okay, next next recording session, Okay, well put
write it the fuck down, Jesus Christ. So you've been
secretly caring, resent, man, you've secretly been hard. It comes
out passive aggressive. I've been waiting for mine. So instead
of bringing it up, I'm going to answer emails during
(43:02):
the show. What my no? How about like this, Let's
pretend you're me? Okay, so look like you have some esteem?
So yeah, like that, Okay, suppose it's like this Hayley's
Do you remember a couple of months ago. I don't
(43:22):
know if you're joking or not to do like a
Fixing Celia episode? Do you remember that?
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Like, honestly, I think it'd be really fun. Is that
something you think we could do?
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Okay, next week okay, Okay, Like, isn't that easier than
you sitting there holding it into your skinny tits?
Speaker 4 (43:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Okay, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
See and I shall have our own podcast called Skinny.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Tits, Fat Tits, and Skinny Tits.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
Right there, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Wait back to the idiot in Connecticut. What's his name again?
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Arthur?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Arthur? Arthur? Listen. All I have to say to you
is work on your underlying self hate. Work on the
issue of being pushed aside and taken advantage of.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
It.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Probably started with your second grade teacher or something, or
your mom or your dad. Work on that, and then
I don't think the money will be a problem. You
will happily split the check and not look like an
itemizing jerk off.
Speaker 3 (44:33):
Next question, Next question number three. Here, Dear Lisa, I
am a single woman in my early forties. Me too.
My best friend for twenty years used to text me
daily and hang out on the weekends. Then she got married,
had kids, and everything changed to say she wants nothing
to do with me anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
As an understatement, Wow, wow, geez, I thought my friends
were shit.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Yeah, God, I realized I'm not in her married slash
parent world, but I resent the fact that she totally
dished me. I don't expect anything to change, but I
do miss my former best friend. Form broke up.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Wow, they hate each other.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
It's crazy. Should I put myself out and offer to
visit her kids and those things?
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yeah yeah, that would build up to it. Go ahead,
yeah yeah?
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Or move on and say it was nice, well ascid,
thanks Sarah and Sacramento.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
There's like so many other options. Then Should I become
the unpaid babysitter or should I just move on? I
don't blame her. She's hurt, dude. Imagine you know you
got this best stay and you.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Like, I just don't trust her.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
What the reader, the writer or the other one. I
don't trust the other count.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
To say, like hold on to say she wants nothing
to do with me anymore? As an understatement, it's a
little dramatic.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Oh god, because you're so drama free, like, but what's
worse than that?
Speaker 3 (46:02):
But what's what I want to need to know is
that this scenario where her friend went, I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
See you anymore.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
I don't know right, or she just busy.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
With her Let's assume I think she might be overreacting,
meaning I think that to say she wants nothing to
do with me, I mean I could have said the
same thing about my friends who didn't initiate ideas. I
could have been like, oh, why do I have to
tump all the ideas? They obviously hate me, because you
can find any reinforcement for a negative belief. So if
I'm out looking for evidence that my friends hate me,
(46:32):
I will find it. That's what Brene Brown calls like
the thing that you just that. It's a confirmation bias
where you just go and I'm looking for evidence that
you don't like me. So I could have said, well,
I have evidence those two don't like me because they
never reach out. Yeah that's it. Instead it's like, okay,
assume the best. I assume the best. They actually like
(46:52):
me because they say, yes, let's have a talk. So
she sounds like she's assuming the way worse, she almost
wants evidence that the friend and her are done. If
she actually is, take that sentence out and she's actually
interested in maintaining the friendship. No, don't call and say
I want to hang out with your kids. No one's
buying that you'll end up talking to the kids. Like
(47:14):
there was this great episode of Downton Abbey where like
one of the like is half one of the little
kids is half Irish. So that's horrible in England. I
guess at the time, I don't know they're both white.
I thought that was decent. And she goes to the
nanny behind everybody's back, was going a little half breed,
you don't belong at the abbey, devil, and it was
(47:38):
overheard by her ladyship and she had a fire than nanny.
And she didn't even let her wait till the morning train.
She said, you get out now. I'm just like, pause, no,
but like that was true. It's a big deal when
(47:58):
you kick somebody out in the middle of the night,
you know. So what I'm trying to say is this
girl's gonna be like that Irish dunk that that that
that English. It's not being nanny. And she'll go in
and she'll say, what's this, Lady's what's this? Cun what's this?
What's her friend? So Sarah's gonna walks in to her
friend in what city the Sacramento, the capital of California,
(48:22):
and go oh, I'll watch the kids. And then her
friend is gonna hear as she turns the lock coming
in the door, she'll say to him, you listen, have
rid you got no business being my best friends?
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Keep up, man off with you and then the walks in.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
Yeah, and then they go whoops. So I think they're no,
don't don't volunteerios. She's gonna end up like that, like
that nanny kun't taking the evening train, and there wasn't
even no evening train back in England at that time.
She sat in that station for a long time. So anyway,
all this to say, don't do that one. The other
(49:05):
one isn't should I didn't you give an option? Should
I just move on and know this is over and
don't do that? They're dramatic. You didn't check your facts.
You gotta check the facts. You gotta say, hey, clammy, friend,
let's meet for coffee at your convenience. Can we just
talk out? I don't feel like our friendship is where
(49:27):
I would love it to be. What can we do?
You know what it is? It's approaching it. I know
we've laughed a lot today, but one important point to
take home you approach the conversation with curiosity, not blame.
So I'm curious what's happened to our friendship. I'm curious
what I can do differently, what you can do different
how we could have a plan. And it feels like brainstorming,
(49:50):
and everybody loves brainstorming. It's fun to come up with solutions.
She's taking the easy way out by either becoming the
nanny calling the kid a half breed, or are doing
the thing where she just cuts off the frind. She's
taking the easy way out. She's probably a cut and runner.
Any Graham seven like Nick the truth.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
I mean, I to be honest that I'm thinking about it.
I had one friend where I felt we knew each
other for well, we're still our friends though, but there
was a moment in time where I was like, I
don't really hear from this guy anymore.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
M m.
Speaker 3 (50:24):
And then I just kind of was like we would
talk like once a year, but we would talk for
like an hour and a half. And I was like,
all right, well maybe that's just the category he's in now. Sure,
like we live in separate areas now, and like what
it okay? All good?
Speaker 4 (50:38):
Right?
Speaker 3 (50:39):
Like I had a moment like this where I was like, well,
and then of course it just is what it is,
man Like, it's just accepting and just knowing that, like
we're still really good friends. It's just like okay, it's
not going to be how.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
It was there's a certain grief and sadness that it's
not going to be like that forever. But it's also
like accepting where it is today and it's not valueless
to have the once a year friend. I have a
friend I talked to probably once every six months, but
she lives four hours away. Excuse me, time zone four
hours different. So like that is a person. You call
(51:13):
it three in the morning, Like that's awesome to have
somebody like that, just in case, well, somebody dies. Suppose
I don't know, I get kicked out when I'm nanny
for the kids and there's no train, Like say, I'm
in old ye oldie England and I have to I
have no train. I'm gonna call Kelly in Vancouver invent
you know what I mean, because she's four hours earlier
(51:36):
than me. That's all I'm saying is have the discussion
and then if it is where okay, maybe we can
have coffee every three months and this she can get
a babysitter or whatever. You go, Okay, well it's the
new normal. It's sad, but I can at least accept
something like that and don't be a victim. Stop being
a victim. It's a big one. Yeah, do you get
(51:59):
in victim ode, don't you?
Speaker 4 (52:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I have, yeah for sure? Yeah, Like, oh, they're screwing me, yeah, yeah.
Nobody's thinking about us enough to screw us. Everybody's just
thinking about themselves. Like I have friend Bonnie, who is
probably one of the busiest people I know because she
has two kids, ones at West Point, which a total
mind fucked when they first leave, because you're scared. They
(52:23):
have to learn how to shoot and jump down to
helicopters and crazy stuff that we as college students would
never have even thought of, so our moms didn't have
that torture. Then she's got a husband, she has an
aging mother who's a handful And it's like, I'm never
gonna take it personally if Bonnie doesn't call me every week,
you know what I mean, because I know she's thinking
about So it's it's saying that their circumstances are Okay.
(52:46):
Do I wish she could, at the drop of a
hat do everything. I say, yes, right, But just because
I wish it doesn't mean it's the right thing. And
I grow more by accepting people how they are.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
That's what I've done with my friends. And there's there's
moments like one of my friends I've talked about the
podcast before, like anthey, like he's busy as all hell,
but he checks in yeah, like he's you got two kids,
you're running a business, you got all this stuff. Like
it's fine. There's moments like damn, I wish we could
like hang out more, right, but like we're thirty seven though,
(53:16):
he's got a lot of shit going on.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
You know what the good thing is though, like, because
you're the same age, ish, if you live long enough,
which you will once you slim a little bit, once
you stop that fat around your heart, if you will
end up where his kids go off to college or
they're living on their own, and it will be the
(53:40):
hangouts of old do you know what I mean? Like
I love these ages. It does. It's kind of cool
because then you're like, oh my god, like we can
hang out more. So I think it's that hanging in
through the really hard times but talking about it and
going I wish it was like that. I but I
know it can't be, you know, or are you just
like Anna go far b our Friendship experts said, get
(54:02):
new friends, you cycle through friends every seven years. Did
you know I'm reading a book. I know that's shocking.
Do you know ourselves change every seven years? So seven
years ago I had completely different cells. Why couldn't they
come back as more attractive? Is what I want to say.
But that's another thing self hate aside. We'll do that
with the Celly episode, which we probably are saying we're
(54:24):
going to do next week, but not do it, and
she'll resent it and it'll be great. But like if
we cycle through that body every seven years, we're going
to cycle through relationships and things are going to change.
So people learn from us. Have the talk. Notice it
in your body. Have the talk, and then at least
you can either let it go or you can have
(54:44):
a new normal. Correct me where I'm wrong, Nick, and
say what you should say. There's nowhere you're wrong. I
oh my, put your glasses on so we could say
a proper goodbye, my god, Celia. Thank you for being
you and for really not giving me a red face,
(55:06):
resentful look even once this episode. I'm gonna count that
as a win. Yes, and thank you for not reading emails.
I even noticed your computers with tilted down, like she's
not tempted to be on her grinder, tinder or whatever,
she's looking at a man. Nick, tell everybody once again
where they can find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (55:28):
Can find me at Nick Scopes on Instagram or tiktoks.
You can find her at least Lampanelli on Instagram or tiktoks.
If you want to reach out.
Speaker 2 (55:37):
To us, Okay, that was angry?
Speaker 3 (55:41):
Do you want to email us at shrink this Show
at gmail dot com that has Shrinkthshow at gmail dot com.
Please listen to us I in your iHeartRadio app or
wherever the hell you get your podcasts, and we won't
resent you if you don't use the iHeartRadio, I will, okay, but.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
I'm gonna say it out loud so the resentment won't
be you know, because all I need is these Ihearts
to come after me and be like, oh not only now,
We're going to give you forty five minutes a studio,
time of week, any time,
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